#in any case the ending is to say that joel has to wait for the human to grow old and then he's free

[eyelessfog]

what's joel up to in the pirate au?

Mezalean Joel is, quite simply, hangin out in the desert. Lizzie is still his wife, but they've been apart for a while now. Not like. divorced-apart, but sirens have been staying mostly under the water since sirens became pretty things to look at and jellyfish paralysis potions became easier to get people's hands on. He and Lizzie have secret rendezvous, but not terribly often. Long ones only about once a year - and by long ones I mean they hang out for, like. a week straight. She brings fish to munch on and he doesn't need to eat because he's clay, so they're fine.

Sirens are generally polyamorous, so when, during their rendezvous this year, Lizzie tells him she found this wonderful woman and she'd really like to marry her, Joel isn't exactly surprised. They make a deal that he'll meet her before the two of them get married, and after that, Lizzie has to promise to up their meetings to at least twice a year.

Deal.

[Cleo, Lizzie and Joel meet up in Mezalea once every two months as a married trio, and then, after a bit, Cleo goes home to allow the two of them their privacy. After everything else is over, you know?]

Joel, God of the skies, created a son with Chorizo of Sanctuary, and the two of them take care of him equally, a week with each before swapping. There isn't really much to say on his life because he kinda just. Has a son, has a babydaddy, and is actually a god possessing a human who asked for godly powers and got him instead? The human can never come back, but similarly, Joel can't go back to the pantheon because the human is invulnerable to most things because of his powers. fucked up dude.... maybe if he just waits it out he'll be able to go back..?

[orcasoul]

Joel Miller Imagine #2

Warnings: Swearing, sexual themes

Word Count: 840

QZ boyfriend Joel who has never publicly said he's you're boyfriend, but it's just known between you both that he's yours and you're his.

QZ boyfriend Joel who likes to know where you're going and when you'll be back (not in a controlling way, but that's just how dangerous QZ life is) Who knows deep down it's unlikely that anyone would threaten you lest they want to face his legendary fury, but it brings him peace of mind to know your whereabouts in case you ever need him. Who's always ready to pounce if a man even looks at you disrespectfully.

QZ boyfriend Joel who's quick temper has always controlled his mouth, sometimes snapping and saying things he really doesn't mean during an argument. Who internally hates himself when he sees the tears you've been tying so hard to hold back. Who when things have calmed somewhat, will apologise sincerely and tell you he'll try to do better instead of blowing up, and makes sure you know how much you mean to him, even though he'll never say the three words you want to hear; but he does, so fucking much!

QZ boyfriend Joel who's often harsh, blunt and violent - when needed- with people, but is always soft and caring when it comes to his girl, especially when you're having another tough day, who holds you firmly in his strong arms when you wake in a blind panic from another nightmare. Who feels a sense of relief and purpose when his embrace and the low timbre of his voice helps to sooth you back to sleep.

QZ boyfriend Joel who feels terrible when he leaves on a smuggling run with Tess and has to leave you behind, no matter how much you protest (he actually finds your pouting to be quite cute on times, but he'll never tell you that) Who knows that if anything ever happened to you it would be the end of him. He'd rather you mad at him than dead or... worse.

QZ boyfriend Joel who's secretly flattered when you get jealous of the time he spends with Tess. Who has told you time and again, there's no one else for him but you (and it's true. He could never imagine being with anyone else) and that the only reason he bothers with Tess is because she's one of the best smugglers in the QZ.

QZ boyfriendJoel who instantly dislikes any man (except for the few you both know) who tries talking to you, who sees any other man as a potential threat to your safety. After all, this is hell on earth and when society crumbles so do the morals and decency of a lot of men.

QZ boyfriend Joel who sometimes finds his mind drifting to the old world, wishing he could give you everything you deserve in life. It's why he became a smuggler in the first place, so you will never need for ration cards.

QZ boyfriend Joel who fucks nasty. Who, when he's had a bad day, won't even talk about it at first. Instead he'll grab you and bend you over the nearest piece of furniture, ripping your trousers and panties down without even opening the button (so many ration cards wasted on new buttons). Who, before pushing himself inside your waiting tunnel, leans over you into your ear, asking if you remember the safe word. Who, when he's gets the confirmation he needs, spears himself into you, fucking you at a brutal pace until you're soaking not just his cock, but the tops of his thighs too. Who, after he has fucked out all of his frustrations, cleans you up and holds you like you are fine china. Only then will he tell you about his shitty day.

QZ boyfriend Joel who makes love to you with a tenderness and devotion that belies his gruff and intimidating exterior. Who always makes sure you come before he slides into you, eating you out like a man devouring his last meal (which in this world, it could very well be) Who pushes deep and slow into you, dragging himself against your sweet spot and only speeding up the snap of his hips when you want him to go faster. Who whispers words of affection against your neck as you throw your head back in ecstasy, crying out his name. Who holds you in his arms all night long, watching the flutter of your eyelids and listening to your soft breaths, wishing you could both stay in this moment forever and not have to face another gruelling day tomorrow.

QZ boyfriend Joel who will stop at nothing to make a better life for you both outside the QZ. Who traded three months worth of saved up ration cards for a dodgy old car battery. Who promises that very soon, you'll both leave the QZ and start a new life in Jackson, where his brother lives.

QZ boyfriend Joel who will get you out of here if it's the last thing he does!

[corazondebeskar-reads]

of rage and ruin - chapter two

of rage and ruin series

chapter two

series masterlist | prev chapter | next chapter

werewolf!alpha!Joel Miller x f!omega!reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: you come face to face with the beast.

chapter warnings: dark, dead dove do not eat, a/b/o, alpha/omega dynamics, omegaverse, captivity, canon-typical violence, genre-typical violence, horror themes, graphic violence, allusions to/threats of torture, abuse by captors (not by either joel or reader), depiction of injury, body horror, typical raider/hunter behavior, mention of cordyceps, angst, viewer discretion is advised,

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

They were careful never to touch you. The exam you’d been given when they first brought you here was done with thick rubber gloves, and no one has touched you since. 

But there are plenty of ways to teach you compliance without touching you. 

Before they moved you, you didn’t see a soul for two days. No one delivered or removed the cloth strips, food, or water. No one woke you up with a loud buzzer or dragged you outside to hose you down. 

No one hurt you.

The first few hours, you sit and do nothing as usual. You don’t really notice.

After that, though, you start to wait. This deviation, this anomaly, was far more terrifying than the wretched routine. And with no meals, you’re bereft of a way to count the passing of time. There’s no sunlight down here, after all. 

To your deep relief, the lights still go off at night. Until you’re lying awake in the dark and realize they’re probably on a timer. So maybe all your captors are dead. Made a stupid mistake and got their asses handed to them by FEDRA.

Which would be nice, but also, you’d still fucking die. Because you’re trapped in this godforsaken grimy ass basement, and somewhere on the other side of it is the only other resident you know of. Him. 

So either you starve to death, or he eats you. Or both. 

You spend the next day hoping to see Cheryl’s smug bitch face. 

When someone finally comes for you, it’s not Cheryl. It’s not Jim, either, but that’s not a surprise. He doesn’t like you, doesn’t like whatever Cheryl’s doing with you.

Not because he has any objections to the captivity or abuse. No, Jim’s been clear—you’re a waste of resources. 

Anyway, it’s fucking Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber who show up. They’re not real twins (you’re not even sure they’re brothers), but they’re a damn good argument for nurture over nature. Spending the apocalypse together has them moving in tandem, grunting and jerking their heads to one another in a language all their own. They’re built like oxen and about as polite. 

You don’t fight anymore, but they still tie you and drag you around. You haven’t so much as argued in weeks. You’ve heard that everyone breaks from torture eventually. You waved your flag from the start. 

You’re not made for this. 

They tie you up without touching your skin; hands layered in gloves just in case. They leave a length of rope from your wrists to pull you by, leaving the rope around your feet as it was. You had earned that six inches of slack, just enough to stand and walk to the makeshift toilet instead of crawling, after a solid week of good behavior. 

When you figure it out, though, you try to run. Every electric screaming nerve in your body says to go. Go where? Who fucking knows. Anywhere. Away. Run. 

The room they’ve brought to you is saturated in oaky musk, and you only need a glimpse of the little cage within before you’re jerking backward.

They must have gotten used to your compliance because the rope flies from Tweedle Dumb’s grasp. The three of you stand still for a moment, all shocked by the turn of events. 

You turn to run, but it’s too late already. One of them swept your fucking legs like this was an action movie, and bound as you are, that’s the end of the fight. You crash and earn yourself some new bruises, and they drag you into the room by the rope between your feet. 

One of them—you’ve forgotten who had which nickname in all the hubbub—snaps out a baton.

“Get in the fuckin’ cage, or I’ll break your ankles.”

It’s a strong argument that you have no desire to see if he’ll follow through on. Already hurt and humiliated, you crawl into the cage.

They lock it behind you and leave without another word. The lights go out with a buzz, casting everything you hadn’t taken in yet in total darkness. 

When the lights come back on, you wish they hadn’t. 

At first, you don’t even realize they’ve flickered to life, because what they’ve revealed isn’t real. 

It’s a big, brown Rorschach blob. It’s an oil spill. It’s moving, in a jerky, fluid way that should be impossible. The limbs have pointed bony joints, and you can only describe the way they crawl as spidery, though they’re thick and bulky. 

Jim is standing on the other side of the gate, holding onto a thick chain that rattles and creaks dangerously as the beast strains against the thick metal band around its neck. He looks bored, but he usually does. 

Cheryl, however. The way her lips are curled, eyes wide and bright… this must be him. 

“Don’t you know what happens to the others? The alphas?” she had teased the night of all the howling. She had laughed at the traitorously dumbfounded look on your face. 

You do now. 

A long pink tongue has unfurled from his massive jaw, flopped over far too many teeth, and dripping thick saliva onto the floor. The… fur, for lack of a better word, around his muzzle is matted with something dark that you can’t look at anymore. 

Jim yanks him by the chain, and the creature lets himself be pulled to the door, barely holding still while the padlock and chain are removed from his collar and the cuffs from his paws. 

He’s at the end of your cage before you realize he’s moved, and you scream, scrambling back as much as you can into the corner. The spaces between the bars are thin enough for just his… good god, are those fingers? They certainly aren’t canine toes. They’re tipped in thick, long claws packed with soil and detritus.

“Hey,” Jim barks, and the beast side-eyes him. “Remember what I fuckin’ told you. You break or eat her? That’s it. I’m not getting you another one.” 

Eat? Eat?  

Oh god.

Your stomach swoops and falls, abdomen clenching and drawing attention to your too-full bladder, unlocking a new fear that you’re going to piss yourself if he comes closer. 

He does. You don’t. But just barely.

That long, dark snout pushes against the cage, as if it could nudge through to reach you, pink tongue lapping against the air. The oak musk is so strong now that it lines your throat and makes you gag.

You choke back a retch-turned-sob and he rumbles, a strange vibration that rattles the bars where he’s pressed against them. He rises, stretching up up up on his hind legs until he towers over your little cube, enveloping you in his shadow, and you can’t help it. You start to cry. 

He can’t reach you, not when you’re tucked back in the corner of your cage. But he can smell you, and he can smell the rich iron soaking into the ropes around your wrists. It’s not yet visible, but the skin squishing through the edges is red and rough. 

He whines, pushing his muzzle against the bars, long tongue flopping out like he can reach. 

The sharp battery acid edge of your fear spikes, and he growls. Stupid girl. Stupid fucking omega. He’s trying to help you, and you’re—you’re— 

You’re starting to cry again. 

He can’t make human words like this, can’t enunciate or even really remember them. He tries to reach you through the bars again, snarling when they burn against his knuckles. Even the distended bony fingers of his full form can’t reach you there, not even with the tip of his claw. 

You’re shaking now, body twitching and jittering beyond your control. Everything inside you is screaming white-hot and dissolving; vomit tickles the base of your throat, and you just can’t stop crying. It hurts; it’s ripping your throat and lungs to shreds. It’s a violent, tumultuous thing, and you can’t stop the wounded keening of your cries. 

He’s pacing in front of your cage now, the beast, on four mangled limbs too long to be canine and too warped to be human. His huffs startle you, long snout returning, again and again, tongue darting out for a taste. 

A little drop of blood slides down your hand from where the rope’s edge cuts into the bottom of your palm.

He freezes, nostrils flaring. You freeze, barely breathing. 

He looks right at you and then tips his head back to howl, the sound like icy water through your veins. 

You can’t help yourself. You scream, broken as your voice is from all the tears. 

Between the cacophony, Jim stomps into the corridor and slams his hand on the wall. “Shut the fuck up, both of you!” 

“Help me,” you yell. 

I’m trying, the wolf howls. 

“Please, please help me,” you gasp, sobs reaching new highs alongside your panic. 

“If you don’t quiet the fuck down, I’ll open up your goddamn cage and let him eat you,” Jim snaps. “I said you were going to be more trouble than you’re worth, and I was fuckin’ right.”

The beast snarls, snapping his sharp teeth at the air. 

Jim regards him with a sneer. “And you! Giving her a heart attack counts as breakin’ her.”

The words don’t make sense, but you don’t really hear them, anyway. “Please, I want to go home, please, please,” you whisper. 

But no one’s listening. 

The Wolf is listening. 

He prowls back and forth on all fours, which really, isn’t any more or less terrifying than when he rises up on his haunches. Neither image capitulates to your need to make it make sense. There is no sense, no logic, no reality that can hold him.

The wolf, for really, that’s what he is, isn’t he? God, you don’t want to say it. Unbidden, a memory works loose in your brain, slipping out of the crates of nonsense stored away in favor of survival, and rattles around.

I know what you are. But you won’t say it. 

Did you bring this upon yourself for reading trashy supernatural romance novels? Did you watch Underworld too many times? Did the shot actually put you in a coma, and you’re living in some kind of nightmare?

The wolf is watching you. There are no whites in his eyes, just pools of gasoline on muddy puddles. 

You close your eyes and pretend you can’t hear the way his claws click against the tile. 

While Laura had fed them stew, she told them about the trials. 

They had been the first. The first taken, before volunteers were called. Before they knew they’d need secure places to hold them, they had been gathered for observation in an old YMCA, packed in racketball courts so the doctors could stand outside the large wall of glass and watch them all at once.

They stood outside that glass and watched them change, in one way or another. The ones who turned, as she called it, went first. The ones who would become test group alpha. More than half of the overall subjects, who became suddenly, violently ill. 

They left them all in there with the rest, waiting, watching them cry out, watching them vomit and sweat and break impossible fevers. Temporal thermometers reading 105, 106, before they’d succumb to unconsciousness. 

If they woke, they were… inhuman. Something more. Something hungry. 

A lot of the first round of test data was lost when the subjects were eaten. But some were lost to the turn. Test group beta, Laura’s brother among them, didn’t survive the fever.

Laura’s husband turned but didn’t lose himself to the beast. Something in him stayed present, alert enough to protect his wife from the others. Or rather, something in her kept him that way. Something that had turned in her too, albeit without the violence, into something more than she’d ever been before. 

“They drove us out of the QZ,” she said, picking idly at a gouge in the table’s surface. “To shoot us where they could burn all the bodies and forget.”

“And what happened?” Tommy asked, leaning forward with his elbows on the table.

“We ate them.”

They come back for him that night but he’s not waiting for them. He’s sat with his big, furry back to you, close enough to the cage that you could pet him. The thought crosses your mind in a moment of delirium. You could stick your fingers through the little bars and feel the coarse hickory hair. You know, if you were clinically insane. 

You’re not about to offer him a little snack. 

He’d given up on reaching you a few hours ago, content to sit there unmoving once your tears dried up. It’s only slightly less terrifying.

But when they take him out, you only get to sit with the relief for a moment. Minutes pass in the dark and silent room, but you regret letting your guard down when footsteps echo through the cavernous halls beyond. 

The Idiot Twins are back, and they’re not taking chances with you this time. Oh, no. When they unlock the cage, you’re faced with the barrel of a handgun that doesn’t leave your temple as they pull you out by your bound hands.

They don’t bother to stand you up or give you a chance to move on your own, just dragging you out of the room and across the hall. You’re sprawled on your stomach across the frigid floor of the new room, with the door slamming shut behind you without so much as a word. 

The rusted pipes on the wall in the beast’s room make more sense now, once you take in your shadowy surroundings. This room has the same shitty tan tile over every inch, but the walls are lined with blue (or what used to be blue) lockers. Not a single one is intact, whether rusted or dented or doorless, but they’re unmistakably lockers. 

There are two lines of seamless benches, though half are rotted to oblivion. But it’ll be a better bed than the floor.

This is practically paradise. There’s a tray by the door that you don’t see for a while, but when you do, you almost cry again. Might have, if you hadn’t spent the day in tears. 

It’s just broth and water, long gone lukewarm and dusty, but you set upon it like a vampire upon a vein. Wait, no, you really don’t want to think about that right now. But it’s not your fault you’ve got monsters on the brain.

Your reprieve is not long. The sun rises. 

The beast returns.

Oh, and he’s pissed that you’re gone, based on the fucking racket that brings you back to the waking world. 

“Oh, did you think you’d been good enough lately for a treat?” Cheryl taunts him. 

The steel doors between you aren’t enough to hide the sounds of his fury. 

“You’ll have her back when you’ve earned her,” she tells him amidst the cacophony of snarling and gnashing. 

It’s ten days before they return you to the cage. Ten days of poking around the abandoned lockers and finding nothing. Ten days of broth delivered at dawn and dusk. Ten days of your back no longer appreciating the bench to stretch out on. 

Ten days of listening to the nonstop scratching and growling and whining from across the hall. And worse. Oh, much worse. Wet squicks and splatters and harsh groans. You’re not sure if he’s eating or masturbating or what, but it sends shivers through your whole body each time. 

It also sends the weird, sticky slick pooling between your thighs, but you ignore that. It’s been happening since the shot, one of the weirder side effects, but it’s gotten downright fucking annoying since you got here.

You try not to think about it. 

It’s not long after they drag you back to the little cage that they drag him into his. For that’s what this room really is, you know that, even if it doesn’t make you feel better about being in there with him. He’s trapped, too, but you’re the one in danger.

They haven’t untied your wrists since the first time, which have blistered and bled and scabbed until the ropes rubbed the scabs raw and started the whole thing all over. 

He smells it before he sees it, any interest in the slippery sweetness on your thighs gone when he tastes the blood in the air. 

Hurt, he whines, though you can’t understand. Help.  

You don’t cry this time, don’t split the sour tang with salt, but the fear and pain and exhaustion are enough to center him. If he tries, if he could just focus…

And there it goes. You watch, mouth agape and eyes blown wide, as he shifts in front of you for the first time. He backs away while it happens until he’s on the other side of the room and sits his very bare ass on his bed. 

You watch the way his bones jerk and his body shakes and cracks and huffs out sharp, agonized grunts until he’s just a man. Just a man, nothing more. Just a beast masquerading. Worse than a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you think, because you know he’s the wolf, but right now? 

He’s just a pathetic, broken human. Bruised and bloodied, though his marks are rapidly fading as the healing takes over, but his face is edged in nothing but pain and sorrow.

“M’not gonna hurt ya,” was the first thing he croaked out. 

You startle, rattling the cage a little, which makes you wince. 

But he stays on the other side of the room. He’s sitting on his mattress, legs bent up and crossed, as if he had anything left to hide. As if you hadn’t seen too much already.

He tries not to think about it, but jesus. It’s a fucking struggle. As he takes you in this way, unclouded by the hazy moon, it still punches him back. Your smell. 

Joel’s never really liked tart things. Too much of a secret sweet tooth, of a deep yearning for the char and depth of anything fresh from the grill. 

But even now, even nearly fully man , he’s salivating at your green apple tang. Of uncovering the sweet ‘n sour burst of you on his tongue. Of letting his sharp teeth fall sharper through the tough act you fail to wear right, too bruised and soft underneath. 

To feel the way you’d give beneath him. The way you’d spill down his chin. No. He has to get a fuckin’ handle on himself. He can’t even look at you, not now that he knows you can smell the salt of his own slick where his swollen cock sits sobbing, neglected and furious. 

“I’m not,” he protests against your silence. 

He’s not sure who he’s trying to convince. 

But he doesn’t stay himself for long. Not after he thinks instead, suddenly, of autumn. Of the sweet smell of the orchard. Of taking Tommy’s truck up up up into the places where seasons meant something. 

The roads sprawled like veins and they followed them with no end just to see the way the trees curled overhead, branches reaching and burning with dying leaves—a sight so devastating that Joel considered leaving Texas behind for somewhere he could start to take this beauty for granted. 

Chasing the colors led them first to a field of corn, blustering amber in the setting sun. They had returned the next day, fresh from the motel with burnt coffee and warm flannels, parting with precious dollars for the privilege of picking pumpkins and apples and a little corn husk doll. 

He’d have paid every cent ten times over to see Sarah smile like that again. 

This is where the man breaks and bows out. Where the wolf at its weakest is still stronger than Joel. He gives in, gives into the grief, gives into the wolf, and shifts back. He stays curled up on his bed, though, and doesn’t look at you.

He doesn’t speak to you again for a month.

next chapter

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 36

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

I was hesitant to call Dr. Miller on my ride back up the highway. I knew the situation had left him fuming, and I had to say I was still in a bout of awe at how direct he had been with Trevor.

Fuck. How had I dropped my phone?

I glanced in the rearview mirror every so often and I knew Dr. Miller was right behind me. I really hoped that Trevor hadn't gone through my phone any deeper than the Lock Screen.

He would have called me out on it like he did the ski tickets, right? I had to assume so. If Trevor didn't feel shy about asking why the tickets to the Vermont resort were on my phone, why would he feel shy about confronting me about anything else.

He didn't see anything. I kept trying to convince myself of that. Why hasn't Dr. Miller called me?

I glanced in the rearview mirror again and took a deep breath. He was mad. We were going to fight. I just hoped it wouldn't be blown too out of proportion.

This could cost him his job if Trevor found something out.

My mind was spinning with a web of worst case scenarios. I just wanted it to be the weekend already. Being on Woodbridge’s campus had suddenly felt like I was walking into some warped episode of Criminal Minds or something. As much as I adored the university for being the link that introduced me to Dr. Miller, I equally felt creeped out just by hearing the name of the school.

I checked my phone at the last red light in town before it was nonstop back roads to the house. Nothing from Dr. Miller. No texts or calls. He was still trailing me so I knew soon we would have to talk about what had just happened.

Maybe he doesn't want me driving distracted. 

When we were close to home, Dr. Miller passed me on a small stretch of the road that allowed for it. I glanced over and thought of our first time ever I’d tried to see who was behind the wheel of the Mercedes - before I knew for certain it was Dr. Miller. That seemed like so long ago, but it really wasn't. 

His car whizzed by and he made the turn up the secluded driveway to the home we now shared. I knew it was so he could get out and open the gates. When he emerged from the vehicle he didn't look back toward my car. He walked casually up to the gate, hit the code and only glanced up briefly toward my windshield.

I didn't know why I was so worried. I hadn't done anything wrong. I dropped my cell phone. Who hasn't done something like that before? I got it back. There was a misunderstanding and no one got hurt. All’s well that ends well, right?

I crept in through the gates behind Dr. Miller and we parked side by side in front of the garage. I waited a few seconds and then got out of the car when he didn't. A second later, the driver's side door to the Mercedes snapped open and he rose up out of the vehicle.

“You're mad at me,” I concluded out loud once we were side by side.

“I don't want you on campus,” Dr. Miller said right away. “I'll give you whatever grade you want, just stay away from there.”

“What?” I shook my head, “I can’t do that.”

“Well, you can’t seem to keep yourself out of harm’s way, either.” He took the lead toward the front door and I hurried to keep up with him.

“I haven’t been in harm’s way.”

Dr. Miller whipped around as he struggled to find the right key amidst his frustration. “You had no idea Tyler was behind you.”

“Trevor,” I corrected.

“Whatever the hell his name is.” He finally found the key to the door and aggressively shoved it into the lock.

“No one was after me,” I insisted, trailing him in.

“But what if he had been?” Dr. Miller asked, “What if he had a rope.. or a knife and I hadn’t been there. What if he crept up behind you and..” He turned away, exasperated and unable to finish the thought out loud.

“It was just Trevor!” I challenged. “I’m fine. I’m not going to get murdered on campus.”

“How do you know it’s not Trevor?” He put his hands on his hips and shrugged wildly. “Hmm? How do you know that? How do you know he wasn’t about to drag you down in between the buildings with him just before I interrupted him?”

“Because.. I just know.”

“You don’t know.” Dr. Miller shook his head, “He had his hood up, head down and was rushing up behind you.”

“Forgive me, but I’m not used to being treated like glass,” I said, “Like some damsel in distress. You. Trevor. James.” I shook my head, “I haven’t done anything wrong and that’s how I feel. Like I’m doing everything fucking wrong.”

I stormed away from him into the kitchen and struggled to open the liquor cabinet on top of the fridge, the same way Dr. Miller did when he was stressed or upset. My fingers barely managed to sweep the door open but I got it, and then I began struggling to reach for a bottle of Ketel One.

“Fuck.” I whispered to myself and then turned when Dr. Miller reached up and retrieved it for me, placing it down on the countertop. Our eyes met for a brief second and I angrily glanced up at a a pair of cabinets that were at my eye level. I yanked them open, only to be met with dishes and small plates. Like clockwork, Dr. Miller opened one a few cabinets down and slid a cocktail glass across the marble.

I caught it in my hand just before it knocked into the vodka bottle and poured myself a small helping of the liquor. I had never drunk vodka straight, always with a mixer. Especially not warm vodka.

Fuck it, I thought. Just to be stubborn I drank it straight and immediately regretted it. In my mind, I wanted to down the liquid without so much as making a face and then glare at Dr. Miller. It was a whole pissed off, badass Beth Dutton move in my head. That image crashed and burned when I scrunched my entire face in disapproval and struggled to get the entire gulp down without spitting it out.

The burn. The warmth. The taste. There was no hiding my disapproval.

I heard Dr. Miller chuckle and opened my eyes, trying to salvage one ounce of toughness. I popped my lips together and shuddered from the lingering punishment I’d willed upon myself.

“You could’ve asked for some orange juice,” he said, unable to hold back a smile. “Or cranberry.”

I stared back at him and he casually folded his arms across his chest, still grinning.

“It’s not funny,” I said sternly, giving the glass a light slam down onto the countertop.

“It’s a little funny.” Dr. Miller headed to the fridge and retrieved the juice, pouring some in the glass I’d just drank from.

I needed to get the taste out of my mouth so I gave in and drank half of it.

“I can’t have you wandering alone after dark with two unsolved murders,” Dr. Miller said calmly.

“I wasn’t wandering alone in the dark.”

“Then what were you doing?”

“Look for my phone.”

“Alone in the dark.” He shook his head.

“It’s not like I could call someone to come help me,” I argued.

“You could’ve gone to campus police and asked them to help you.”

“And see James?” I raised my eyebrows with my hands on my hips, “I haven’t seen him since that little incident.”

“This is bigger than that,” Dr. Miller argued. “And if not James then ask someone else to help. I can’t be there to watch you every second to make sure you’re okay.”

“And you don’t have to,” I continued to argue.

He let out a deep breath and put his hands on his hips, looking around. “Then I’ll just make sure you get where you need to be every time you’re there. It’s easy with my classes, but when you take your Wednesday night class let me know when you’re leaving and I’ll excuse myself and watch you go.”

“No.” I shook my head.

“At least until the murders are solved.”

“I need to be able to walk to my car on my own, Joel.”

“Call campus police. Please,” he begged, “For me. Don’t go anywhere by yourself. Don’t be alone with Trevor.”

I huffed a sigh and finished the juice before placing the glass in the sink. I turned my back and rinsed it out to give myself a minute to think.

“Fine,” I agreed, “I’ll call James and ask him to come walk me to my car. But I have to go to my classes. I can’t just stay off Woodbridge’s campus forever.”

“Fine,” he echoed, though I could see he wasn’t happy about it.

“I have one more class tomorrow,” I reminded him, “And then we’ll be off to Vermont, away from all this.” I set the glass on the drying rack and then walked past Dr. Miller to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He asked when I rounded out of the room.

“To bed,” I called back to him.

Deep down I knew he was genuinely concerned about my safety. I knew he wasn’t wrong about not being alone at night. But I hated feeling like a piece of glass that everyone thought could break at any minute. I hated being thought of as fragile - or weak. That wasn’t the intention of Dr. MIller or Trevor or even James. But that’s how the constant protectiveness and advice and everything in between was starting to make me feel.

I wandered up the winding staircase to the next floor and didn’t look back as I went into the bedroom. I stripped out of my clothes and tossed them in the hamper before finding an oversized long-sleeved t-shirt to throw on over my underwear.

I didn’t go through my normal nightly routine. I just wanted to curl up, close my eyes and forget about all the dramatic events that had been brought around by the paranoia of the murders on campus. I tossed the fluffy comforter over myself and when I closed my eyes I sensed Dr. Miller enter the room.

He strolled up to the bedside and squatted down beside where I laid so we were eye-to-eye.

“Don’t be mad,” he said.

“You were the mad one.” I had never challenged him quite to this level before, but I couldn’t help it. I was in a mood and I couldn’t shake it.

“I know I was,” Dr. Miller admitted. “And I understand why you feel the way that you feel. I’m just so obsessed with keeping you safe that I’m willing to put everything else on the backburner. If you’re mad at me, you’re mad at me. But if something ever happened to you, I wouldn’t even know what to do, (Y/N).”

Our eyes were still fixed on one another. I finally accepted his olive branch and gave in just a little. “I’ll call campus security if there’s a time I have to be alone at night.”

“Thank you.” He put a hand on my face and then rose to his feet to remove his tie and strip down into his boxer-briefs.

I remained on my side as he slunk into bed, setting the alarm just before he did so. Dr. MIller wrapped an arm around my midsection and kissed the back of my shoulder. “Don’t be mad,” he whispered in my ear.

“I’m not mad.” I sighed and turned around to face him.

“I don’t you being like this.” He smirked smally and let it fade. “I like when you’re looking at me like I’m the only man in the world.”

I managed a smile. “You are the only man in my world.”

“I don’t know, you’ve got the entire campus chasing you through the dark just to give you roses or return your cell phone to you.”

“Jealous?” I asked, finally feeling just a small dose of playfulness running through me.

“Of course I am,” Dr. MIller said, winking at me.

I accepted a quick kiss on my lips and closed my eyes as he cuddled me against his chest. I took in a few deep breaths and felt the heaviness in my eyes begin to take over.

“Good night,” he whispered as I began to drift off. “I love you.”

Good. We’re not going to bed mad at least. “I love you, too.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @shotgun-shelby @itscatrodriguez-thepearl @macaroni676 @acciowolfstar1 @smolbeanzzz @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @bandluvr97

[wildemaven]

fall apart, again : interlude - a letter to joel | joel miller

-> pairing: joel miller x ofc!genevieve

-> wc: 1001

-> content warning: 18+ blog; angst, alluding to loss, post outbreak, reader is Joel’s wife, reader has a name but has zero descriptive features,

-> a/n: I kind of abandoned this series and didn’t really have any plans to finish it. It felt good where they ended in chapter 3 so I was just going to call it good. But then I was reading through the chapters and kind of found some inspiration to write something for them again. Big thank you to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for always listening and encouraging and fixing my writing!!

series masterlist / playlist

previous / next

Joel,

Feels weird to be sitting here, on our bed, in our home. I guess I should mention we made it back to Austin— Steve and I. 

I met Steve in the ER in Laredo on the evening of the outbreak— he lost his wife. We managed to make it out of there together and promised to keep each other safe. He heard there’s a QZ in Denver, so we’re making our way north. 

I made him promise to stop in Austin. I just had to see for myself, see if there was a chance you and Sarah might still be here— alive. 

Like I said, it feels weird to be here. Seeing our house in this state. Disheveled and abandoned, but still feeling very much like the place we thought we’d live forever. It’s like a personal landmark now, for what once was such a beautiful home filled with so many beautiful memories. Maybe it’s more of a mausoleum of sorts. Kind of morbid, but also very true. ‘Here lies the Millers, before the world went to shit.’

Except, I’m here and you’re not. 

I think the worst part of all of this is not knowing if you’re okay. Steve says I have to accept that there’s a chance that you’re not, that any worst case scenario that I have lost sleep over, might be my reality. But I refuse to accept that. So, I silently pretend that you are okay. That you have managed to get Sarah and yourself, and hopefully Tommy, to safety. You’re somewhere out there protecting our baby girl and staying strong for her like you’ve always done. 

I feel like I’m rambling. My thoughts are just all over the place being here and thinking of you. Or maybe I’m just dragging out my time here because the minute I leave, it will be like a final goodbye to this place— and I don’t think I’m ready for it just yet. 

It’s like I can still smell the faint musk of your cologne in the air. Like you’ll walk through our bedroom door, pulling your keys and wallet from your jeans and tossing them on the dresser, all while telling me about some mishap on a job site that set you back a few days. I can just see that grumpy look you wear so well. Then, when you’ve let it all out, you instantly soften when you finally look at me sitting on our bed and then you’re apologizing for boring me with your work bullshit. I would listen to your work bullshit every single day if it meant we could be together again. 

When I got here, it was like I was being pulled into Sarah’s room. I sat there for a while, remembering all the times we had laid there with her reading her bedtime stories until she would fall asleep. I miss our dance parties while we would wait for you to come home, her insisting I had zero rhythm anytime one of her little boy band hits came on and I attempted to keep up with her choreographed routine she had memorized. I’m taking a few things of hers, I hope that’s okay. I don’t think I can come back here and I want to have something of hers. 

I found your ring on our dresser. Don’t worry I’m not mad you aren’t wearing it. Gosh, I can’t believe I would get so worked up over seeing it laying there instead of on your finger. I know how much it bothered you wearing it to work and worrying about losing it or getting it caught on something, and yet I would still get annoyed over it. But, maybe you weren’t meant to wear it so I could find it today, so I could have a piece of you with me always. 

I guess I should wrap this up. I know how much you love when I can go on and on about anything. 

I will write to you. Whenever I get the chance. To Sarah, too. I’ll keep writing to you both for as long as I can. 

I love you Joel. I always have. And I always will. Wherever you are, I just hope you know that. 

Forever and always,

Eve 

*

“Hey, Genevieve— ya doin’ okay up there?” Steve calls up from downstairs. 

“Yeah! Just give me a sec! I’ll be right down.” You try to hide your pain as you respond, wiping the few tears sprinkled across your cheeks. 

You fold your letter to Joel, placing it securely in an envelope you had found next to the pile of printer paper you tucked away with the items of Sarah’s in your pack. You push yourself off the bed, walking around to the side where Joel slept since the day you moved in. You run your handover the indentation in his pillow, remembering how much you loved to wake up before him just so you could watch him sleep. 

Lifting the corner of his pillow, you gently place the letter underneath it. The last place you talked to him, is the first place you’ll write to him. You imagine he’s laying there, sleeping peacefully when you kiss the top of his pillow. 

Grabbing your pack off the bed, you take one last look at the space, your heart clenching at the finality of this visit. You force your legs to move towards the direction of the door, stopping briefly at the dresser to grab Joel’s ring, tucking it into one of your packs inner pockets safely. 

Steve is sitting on the couch when you finally make it downstairs. His patience is something you’ve appreciated since the day you met. He knew how much stopping here meant to you, and he told you to take as much time as you needed. 

“All good?” He asks once you’ve stepped off the last step. 

“No, but it will be, I think.” You tell him as you make your way out the front door. 

[zedif-y]

There are pros and cons to training.

The cons…. Outweigh the pros, probably, if Jimmy’s being honest. Like, really. Joel’s ruthless- the amount of times Jimmy’s been thrown to the floor, back and butt aching, only for Joel to shrug at his misery, throw a pretty smile, and say: “Up.”

Well. It’s a lot of times.

He doesn’t even know why. It’s not like Jimmy is mean about Joel’s awful cooking skills (though, he is, admittedly, getting slowly better), or about how quickly Joel’s house falls back into an absolute mess (other than a couple minor comments about how it looks like his place was ravaged by a pack of wolves), or- The point is that Jimmy is very polite, thank you. And doesn’t deserve this.

So, please, imagine his shock, awe, and horror when Joel walks through the front door, chest puffed out with pride, holds a bow up into the air, and says, “Today, you’re learning archery.”

Jimmy has half a mind to just run into the bedroom and barricade the door.

———

Jimmy did not end up barricading the bedroom door, because he had good normal reactions to minor inconveniences (and also, a little bit, because Joel didn’t own anything to barricade a door with. So instead, he’s out in the clearing where the two of them sword fight, but closer to the treeline.

“So,” Joel says, having finished his terribly lacking explanation. “Go ahead.”

Jimmy makes what is probably an absolutely pitifully horrified face at Joel, who simply shrugs and gestures to the tree he’s supposed to be trying to hit. It’s much less what Joel instructed to him to do and much more what he’s seen from the knights back home that allows Jimmy to hold the arrow and string between his fingers, and then pull back.

The arrow pops out from between his fingers and falls unceremoniously to the floor.

“Oh,” Joel says, staring down at it.

“Oh,” Jimmy echos.

“Okay,” Joel says, picking the arrow up and grabbing Jimmy’s limp hand. “Listen up.” Jimmy’s listening. “So, I cut a lil groove into the arrow back here, right?”

Jimmy inspects the back of the arrow and- oh. Yeah.

“So you put the string into that groove, and you hold it between your fingers. Your fingers are on the string.” Joel takes the bow from Jimmy and places the string in the hand he was already holding. He bites the arrow between his teeth, then curls Jimmy’s pointer, index, and ring finger around the string. He slides the arrow between his pointer and index knuckles, and then looks up at Jimmy and grins.

Jimmy realizes very suddenly that they are very close. And decides, also very suddenly, that he is not going to think about the fact that he can feel Joel’s breath on his lips- he’s not thinking about it!

“Now try it for real,” Joel says, leaning in mischievously- Which Jimmy feels normally about, in case you were wondering - and then leans back and holds the wood of the bow out expectantly.

Jimmy takes it, because he feels normal. And taking things offered to you is the normal thing to do.

He wraps his fingers around the string the way Joel had just told him to, and pulls back, back, until his arm can’t go back any further, and then lets go.

The arrow doesn’t go very far.

Jimmy slouches a little, and Joel pats his thigh reassuringly. Which Jimmy still feels normal about - Shut up!!! He’s being extremely well adjusted about this, thank you. It’s Joel’s fault for being all weird during sword practice, so now Jimmy is getting all flustered at nothing during archery. It’s absolutely, one hundred percent Joel’s fault. Obviously.

Joel goes to pick up the arrow, and Jimmy waits, definitely not pouting, with the bow hanging from his hands.

“It was… a nice first try,” Joel says with the voice of someone who is trying very hard to give a compliment that is not at all deserved.

“What happened?” Jimmy asks.

“Well, you’re all-“ Joel stands up straight, and Jimmy blinks. That tells him nothing. “You have to be, like-“ Joel cuts himself off again, turning to Jimmy and twisting him by the shoulders so that they’re facing each other, hips to the treeline. Joel looks down at their feet and kicks so that Jimmy’s feet are a little further apart.

“There we go!” Joel says, offering another grin.

They’re really close again.

Jimmy decides to not think about the way Joel’s eyes crinkle when he smiles in that certain toothy way, or the way his canines are always a little sharp and make Jimmy so curious about what they feel like (which is a normal average thought, thank you), or how really cutely long Joel’s eyelashes are, actually-

Jimmy blinks, because he’s not thinking about it.

“So?” Jimmy says.

“So, now, when you shoot, you have your arm’s length,” Joel begins, grabbing Jimmy’s hand (and also the bow, which might be important to mention) and raising it up to point at the trees. “And also you have aaaaaalllllll of this,” he adds, tracing his finger from Jimmy’s shoulder to his collarbone.

“What?” Jimmy asks, feeling a little bit distracted by the tingling feeling left behind on his chest.

Joel rolls his eyes. “Look,” he says, voice dry. “Pull the string back.”

Jimmy does as requested, putting the arrow against the string, pulling the string back, and back, and back, and- oh, and back more. Okay.

“There!” Joel cheers. “You gotta bring it all the way back to here.”

He brushes the edge of Jimmy’s lip, and Jimmy lets the arrow fly immediately at the feeling.

HE’S FEELING NORMAL, THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

The arrow doesn’t sink into the wood, but it hits it! So! Yay!

“Oh, hey, pretty good,” Joel hums, appreciative.

Jimmy hopes it’s good enough for them to be done, because he needs to lie down. Is it hot out? It feels hot out.

“We’re not done ‘till you get it through the wood though,” Joel says.

Jimmy thinks he feels his spirit leave him, honest.

“That’s fine,” Jimmy says with his mouth, because complaining has never really worked against Joel. “That’s cool. That’s good. That’s. Yeah.”

Joel raises a brow at him as he picks up the arrow. “Okay, now, this time, actually bring the arrow back to your lip,” Joel says.

“Right!” Jimmy replies, holding a hand out for the arrow.

He plants one foot behind him, knocks the arrow, pulls the string back, then makes sure his hands come right to the edge of his lip like Joel said. Then he aims….

“Your arm is shaking,” Joel notes.

Jimmy turns to look at him. “So wh-?”

Joel grabs him by the chin (which makes him feel normal feelings) and Jimmy lets go of the string. The arrow flies, but Jimmy is not at all thinking about it, or even Joel sort of yelling at him.

“Don’t look at me, idiot!!! The string is gonna slap your nose or your eye or somethin’ important and you’re gonna get hurt!!! You keep your eyes on the prize, not on- me!!!”

Some traitorous voice in Jimmy’s head notes that Joel could be considered a prize, which Jimmy quickly shuts up.

Joel’s still muttering (but with more cursing this time) when he picks up the arrow. “Don’t look at me,” Joel hisses as he passes the arrow over.

Jimmy nods, because what else is he gonna do, and then knocks the arrow again. Pulls it back, to his lip, and-

“Your arm is still shaking,” Joel says.

This time, Jimmy doesn’t turn his head. “Well, what do you want me to do about it??”

Joel sighs, and then walks around to stand behind Jimmy.

Normal feelings.

He puts both his arms up and puts his hand over Jimmy’s hand on the string and helps him pull back. His other hand is on Jimmy’s hip, steadying him. Joel’s biceps are rock solid beneath Jimmy’s arm (normal feelings) and his chest is rising and falling slowly against his back. Joel rests his head between Jimmy’s shoulder blades, and Jimmy’s breath hitches.

He can feel Joel’s breath against him when he says, “We let go together. On three.”

Jimmy doesn’t even let himself nod.

“One,” Joel starts.

“Two,” he says, shifting to look at their clasped hands (or maybe the arrow).

“Three,” he breathes against Jimmy’s ear, and Jimmy doesn’t even choose to let the arrow go- the shock of the feeling against his ear makes his hand open all on it’s own.

The arrow lodges into the tree, a fair bit above where Jimmy was aiming, and stays.

Joel steps back, apparently completely unaware of what he’s just done to Jimmy’s heart. “You did it!” Joel cheers. “Good job! You can go back inside now, I’ll clean up!”

Jimmy stumbles slowly back into the shack of a cabin in the woods, and falls into a pool on the bed.

He feels normal. So so so so normal. About everything. All of this.

Normal feelings.

L. L OH MY GOD. OH YMG OD GOHDYMDS GKLJWHKJDSGHIOWJHEGS DGOYSDJGHSDJKGHSDJKGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU DONT UDNERSTNADS. YOU DONT UDNERSTAND IVE ACTUALLY STOPPED RBEATHING THIS IS AMAZING AND EVERYONE SHOULD READ IT EVERYONE LOOK

OH MY GOODNESS

L YOU ARE LOVELY!!!!! MY GOD IM GOING TO READ THIS VOER AND OVER AND OVER WHAT THE FUCK

YOU WROTE JIMMY SO WELL!!!! FUCK!!!!! (EXPLDOES!!!!!!!)

[crystaljellie]

My Post about Jimmy and Joel!! Finally!

So Jimmy and Joel know each other in their original world, as co-workers, they both work at the same cafe as it's right next to their uni.

They got isekai'd completely randomly, like they just went to sleep woke up the next day and BAMM, Grian standing over them as they're lying on the grass. Grian actually very quickly clocks that they're not from this world after originally thinking oh new race? Then realises, 'ah now watcher shennangins.'

He drags Joel and Jimmy off somewhere to hide and explains the situation to them and they're both sooo confused.

Grian kind of disguises them? He starts by making Jimmy a pair of fake wings, but then the next morning once Jimmy tries to take him off (They stayed over night) They just... don't come off, and then he realises bam he's a canary avian now, and Joel has become a woof elf? Well problem solved about being disguised.

Grian's plans for getting Jimmy and Joel out of here have backtracked a little bit, because now he needs to teach Jimmy how to fly and Joel how to handle his magic. So he calls in Scar who has taught a lot of baby avian's how to fly before, So Grian and Scar work on helping Jimmy with his wings, and then Grian helps him through some of the more complicated wing work.

Scar and Joel both being elves now work on magic together, Joel gets the hang of it really quickly.

And then Grian gets bored and sends them off!! Into the wild, tells them to find someone who might help them, he tells them bout the different realms but not the different worlds.

So Jimmy and Joel head off together.... but when crossing the ice realm they get separated in a snow storm, Jimmy takes shelter in Etho's house on accident. And Joel ends up finding a portal to the fey wilds.

So Jimmy and Etho chat for a bit and Etho points him in the direction of the southern realms after walking him out. Jimmy also walks a bit through the no lands (lands that do not belong to any realm) which is where he runs into Scott tending to his flowers. At this time Scott is not expecting anyone so he's still mostly in his starborn form but quickly switch back to looking like a sea elf when Jimmy arrives. And it's gay, it's really gay, Scott is obviously flirting with Jimmy and Jimmy's like "Wow..... pretty..." and Scott shows him some magic. After hanging out for a while Jimmy tells Scott about his mission to look for 'help' in the southern kingdom but didn't specify why. Scott is suspicious but is more so annoyed that the royal order has been brought up, but like, he's gay and decides, 'no Jimmy is not dealing with the royal order on his own I'm going to help him'

So walking to the kingdom they run into Owen, short chat and then Owen says he'll wait for them outside the city in case something goes wrong, which defo puts Jimmy on edge.

Other things happen Jimmy meets the royal order, and he recognises Martyn, by all means he shouldn't, but he does.

Uhm other things happen too which ends up with Jimmy going with Scott to the sun realms in search of something to save the southern kingdoms. I love flower husbands

All the while Joel is in the feywilds, where he meets Lizzie and is trying to figure out how to leave.

Sorry I'm Jimmy brained I have nothing else for Joel rn

[joeloverture]

dude thank you for shedding light on how fucking awful of a character abby AND how shitty kaitlyn is as a person and for educating people on abby's white saviorism. I saw a tiktok edit (in favor of abby) of her standing between the WLF and lev and yara, telling her crew not to shoot lev and yara because they're not "one of them" its sick I can't believe people like her and defend her story line. wait til they find out her storyline was specifically created to cater towards a more neutral audience so they can understand "both sides" ellie and abby which was based off of neil's real life "neutral" stance with Israel and Palestine. it makes me wanna vomit.

thank you for posting about it, you're the only one in this cesspool fandom that does it, massive respect to you.

okay so first of all thanks for giving me a space to talk about this!! because ive just been talking unprompted (mostly at a wall, it feels like)

i… don’t like her. not for killing joel, either. like yeah, that’s part of it, but everything about her is so poorly executed that it’s only 10% of why i dislike her.

you cannot, in writing, spend 15 hours (tlou1 average playtime) getting us to support and defend joel and ellie and see them as incredible, dynamic characters with a reliance on each other. then create a sequel that tries to get us to empathize with the person who killed him and traumatized ellie. i mean, maybe you can. but you have to begin the game that way. you need to commit. nothing in the entire game made me have sympathy for abby- not her crying over her dads corpse or her being panicked about yara or her losing manny. maybe i would’ve if her writing hadn’t been so abysmal. i find her to be so, so flat and redundant. she was an attempt at something new that ended up being bland and has since discouraged people from writing evil women the way they are meant to be written!!! abby is not a well written character, and honestly none of the tlou2 characters are. tommy makes sense, but the rest? no.

i believe for a character to make sense, their decisions need to make sense - at least to themselves. in continuously letting ellie go, this makes no sense for abby as we know her. spending 4 years training to face joel, 4 years dragging her friends into that bullshit even though they displayed growing reluctance. all of it was a selfish act of cruelty, cruelty that we never saw joel or ellie display in part one. because with part one, survival was a necessity. in creating the 2nd game, neil has admitted that there is no point to the very conflict he tried to sway his audience into his side on. it turned into a degenerate revenge porn fantasy from the mind of a white man playing at being woke.

as for abby and lev being a parallel to joel and ellie— NO. there’s an inherent power dynamic between abby and lev that feels so unnatural. “they aren’t like them” is absolutely fucking inhumane and a disgusting thing to say about any human being, especially when these fictional characters are more like caricatures of real people who are victims of real war crimes.

abby upsets me to no end. she’s a piece of shit and maybe that’d be enjoyable if her writing were framed LITERALLY any other way. all that shit with owen, lev & yara, joel, all of it? useless. this game isn’t the narrative triumph everyone acts like it is. the first game changed how stories are told. the second is watered down propaganda draped in bad writing.

and as for kaitlyn— i hope people don’t harass her, as that’s a symptom of a larger case of misogyny in hollywood. but i reserve no sympathy for a zionist who is literally acting out said revenge fantasies. absolutely none. i see no reason to defend her.

also, taking away abbys muscles? really? just shows that the team is still misogynistic. shows that neil is only casting zionists in this season. shows that the show will not be a loyal nor rejuvenating adaptation. shows that her storyline is still going to be dogshit!

im still terrified that she’s going to torture joel in the show, genuinely. because every day i log online and see people who look like me being deported. refugees who, like my family, fled here, and weren’t as lucky as we were to get citizenship. and now, i have to face the possibility of one of the few characters i find myself finding solace in played by a refugee, being tortured by a white woman. im going crazy over this honestly. i genuinely cannot handle that.

i hate abby. like seriously nothing will ever make me like her because everything she does is for selfishness instead of survival. i feel similarly about part two ellie. and again— it can be so fun to write shitty people. but neil is hellbent on making his israel coded poster girl seem like a perfect angel despite her shortcomings! and that is why the writing is awful. just lean into the atrocities. 70% of your players have already made up their mind.

[elliespuns]

I always wondered how it would have been, in an alternative canon of course, if joel and ellie somehow met each other but in his hunter days

What about this?

He meets her in a shootout that happens between the group of people that she joined recently and the hunters he is a part of, just when she jumps him in an attempt to stop him from killing the people she barely knows and feels don't deserve to die like this. But he shakes her off; she falls down off his broad shoulders, hits her head, and falls unconscious.

When he notices that the asshole who just jumped him is actually a little freckled girl, he doesn't have the heart to kill her, so he picks her up and sneaks away from the scene with her, planning to make sure the kid is okay and then leave her somewhere far away from the others because he has seen what these men are capable of and he's not having this. He can be fucked up, but he was never that fucked up. This is a kid. This is a little girl he accidentally hurt, and he has to make it right.

He takes her to the nearest woods and waits for her to wake up. When that happens and she opens her eyes to see a tall, huge man sitting on a log in front of her, probably just being an old creep, eyeing her or something, she starts panicking, but he's quick to get up and grab her. Wanting to explain what happened to her, he has no chance to do so when she starts fighting him. "Let go of me, you piece of shit! Motherfucker!" She's screaming at him, reaching for the switchblade in the back pocket of her jeans. But he's holding her tight; she can't move. "Fuck, kid, just hold on a second, I— Jesus, girl! You're stronger than you look." He comes to understand just now that he's not dealing with a fragile doll. He's dealing with a foul-mouthed, courageous, beaten by life, and strong as a bull girl who won't just make this any easier on him. Will she?

"Get your hands off me, you f— What did you do with my fucking knife?" She exclaims, finding herself worrying more about losing a damn knife that she got from her mother than about the fact that some stranger of a man is not willing to let her go. She really must have hurt her head badly, she thinks to herself.

"I have it in my pocket. Couldn't risk you stabbing my eyes out." He leers and loses his tight grip on her, letting her know he's not about to hurt her but still holding her arms in place, just in case. "Listen. You fell, you hit your head, and I got you out of there. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" He says, letting go of her. That makes her jolt away from him.

"Give me my fucking knife." She pants, her voice quivering and her chest heaving from all the fighting. She feels dizzy. Her heart is beating fast. She's afraid of that mountain of a man in front of her, but she can't let it show. She can't. "And don't you ever touch me."

"Why do I have a feeling that you care about that stupid little knife more than about the fact that you've just been kidnapped?" He laughs under his breath, reaching into the back pocket of his pants and taking out her knife to hold it in front of his sight. "What's so special about it anyway?"

"That's none of your fucking business." She spits at him as she takes a swift step toward him and yanks it off his hand, turning the knife against him, her hand shaking. "Why wouldn't you just leave me there? W—why did you take me with you?" She asks, scared of the answer. What if he really just wants to be creepy with her?

He stands up and brushes the dirt off his knees before he takes a step closer to her and grabs her shaky fist that's pointing the knife at him, and with the help of his other hand, he carefully folds the knife in hers. "Because I'm not a fucking monster. And besides, I'm not planning to keep you." He says, his voice cold as he quickly takes his hand off of hers. "I see you're fine now. You're free to go."

When she woke up and saw him, she thought this was going to be the end of her, not knowing what to expect. But it's actually her now who's suddenly unsure of how she feels. She's alone. Where the fuck is her group? They're all probably dead. Thanks to this asshole. She has nothing. No one. This man could've killed her already or left her to die, but he wouldn't have.

"Wait..." She says, making him stop on his way. "I-"

"Yes, kid. You can go with me." He cuts in as he turns around and starts walking the other way, realizing that leaving this kid behind with nothing or no one would be the worst thing he could've ever done. "But you mind your own business. I'll do me. You do you. Okay?" He warns her, as he's not at all in a mood for company. "You keep quiet, and maybe I can get you something to eat."

She nods with a soft, quiet "Sure." slipping through her lips as she takes a look at her folded switch blade and squeezes it tightly in her palm before she follows that man. "I'm Ellie, by the way." She says quietly, her voice so calm and soothing.

"Joel." He clears his throat, finding it hard to believe he found himself with a kid. He's too old for this shit. Then why does he have a feeling this girl—Ellie—is here to stay?

I know they would've been a lot younger in this canonverse, but once I read "if Joel and Ellie met" I instantly imagined them as we know them BUT in this setting and situation :)

[whiskeybeforesunset]

Ghosts Part 2 | Joel Miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Synopsis: Reader is with Joel and Ellie as they continue their stay in Jackson. As always, slow burn. Bittersweet talks and heated arguments. Maybe a bit of a different kind of heat as a treat. 

Warnings: Arguing, Joel enters a room before knocking as sees the Reader somewhat undressed (think swimsuit), with that Reader’s body is mentioned but no specific details are given, out of character Joel, shamefully little about Ellie in this chapter.

Author’s note **IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**: For those who have enjoyed the story so far, I’m wondering if you have a preference on how I handle the events of Episode 8. I understand the importance of that darker storyline, and that some readers may prefer it remain in this adaptation. However, I don’t believe Ellie’s SA is necessary in what is meant to be a love story. There are also several logistical issues as to how Ellie may have been captured if there was still an adult able to hunt for/protect her. Right now, my favorite alternative is either Joel or the Reader having a bad case of the flu (fever so high they could die), so there’s still a potential danger without having to include that particular storyline. Plus, everyone loves a good sick fic. Let me know if you guys might enjoy that, if you have any additional thoughts I would love to hear them. 

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

___

The heaviness between you and Joel dissipates as the lights sputter back on and voices around you begin to discuss the movie. Tommy suggests you and Joel come over to theirs for a late night drink, but Joel swiftly declines and begins to make his way towards the nearest exit. You give Tommy a sympathetic shrug before following Joel outside. 

You step out into the cold night air just in time to see Ellie swiftly making her way back to the house, at least you hope that’s where she’s going. She just needs some alone time, you tell yourself. It’s not like she has much of an opportunity for it traveling across the country. He seems to consider following her, but slows his pace upon noticing the familiar tree in his path.

“Y’know,” you say, slightly out of breath as you jog up to be beside him. “I was thinking about taking the scenic route back. He peers at you through the corner of his eye. Looking back up to where Ellie was last visible he exhales slowly, creating a puff of steam as he does so.

“You’re welcome to join me, if you’d like.” He accepts your offer with a short nod, and follows as you turn and begin the alternative path to your temporary home. 

In the absence of the bustling movie-goers, a silence once again falls over you. Looking at Joel, you notice his eyebrows are set in a way that makes him look more irritated than usual. Who knew that was even possible? Still, there was something about him that was just so… striking. Not in that way, because Joel is well, Joel… right? But still, you can’t deny the way the sparing lamp light accents his more rugged features. It certainly causes one’s imagination to-

Joel clears his throat and you suddenly become very aware of the fact that you are staring, and presumably have been doing so for a long time. You quickly swivel your head away from him, hoping the cold would provide a good enough cover for the pink on your cheeks.

“So,” you start, desperate to clear the thoughts at the top of your mind, “Maria seems like a good fit for Tommy.” He huffs out a laugh. The sound of your boots against gravel count out the seconds in which you wait for a longer response from him. 

“Well, I think it’s sweet.” A small smile comes to your face at the idea of your friend being able to live a fulfilling life in Jackson.

“Sweet, huh?” Joel asks, not so much denying the label as he is surprised that you’re saying it.

“Yeah I mean, it’s nice to know there’s a chance of ending up with something like that. Even in this world.” You elaborate.

“I didn’t think you the type,” he looks at you and says with a slightly amused tone. 

“Yeah, well,” you return his gaze. “With the right person of course.” You both stay like that for a moment, your eyes glance at his lips as he opens and closes them, debating whether or not to say something. 

“What about you?” You hesitantly ask, immediately regretting it as Joel turns his head to face forward again. Although you briefly wonder if you had really said anything at all due to his lack of response. You’re eyes still on him, you watch his face shift through emotions. 

“I, uh,” he pauses looking down at the gravel path. “I reckon I’m passed that sort of thing now, not really an option anymore.” He turns his heading, as if to avoid your reaction. 

“Oh,” is the final word said as you two conclude your walk to the house silently.

Upon entering you remember your plan to talk to Ellie, but decide against it when you see Joel heading for the room she’s staying in. It’s probably for the best, he’s always better at talking her down anyways. You sigh, and decide you’ll finish off this very confusing day with a hot shower. Might as well while you can, right?

…

Turning the shower head off, you notice yelling you hadn’t previously made out through the water splashing on tile. 

You make your way out of the bathroom and into the adjoining bedroom, trying to catch snippets of the argument as you dry off and begin to get dressed. A door slams and loud footsteps make their way up the stairs. 

You make a mental note to check in on the two of them -separately- sometime tomorrow. However, this plan is scratched as Joel bursts through the door. 

“Oh,” Joel’s rage-filled face quickly fills with embarrassment and something you can’t quite make out as his eyes scan over your body. “Sorry, I, um-” he stutters out, turning so that he's perpendicular to the doorway. 

“It’s fine, Joel.” You offer him a reassuring smile as a blush comes over your face. After all, he didn’t see anything he wouldn’t have seen at a public pool back in the day. Even if the context is a bit more… intimate. 

“Tell me, what’s so important that you had to immediately come and speak to me.” You say in a joking tone, grabbing something to finish covering yourself up. Joel turns to you, eyes slightly unfocused. His brain yet to recover from the unexpected scene discovered upon his entrance. 

“That one sounded a bit more heated than normal.” You add, hoping to jog his memory.

“What? Oh, yes. Yes. We uh,” his gaze hardens as he regains his composure, also taking a moment to close the door. “We need to talk.”

“Okay.” You respond, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and adjusting to his more serious tone. 

“Look, I think it might be best if going forward you take Ellie alone.” Your eyes quickly look up at him. He remains standing near the entrance of the room, arms crossed and face turned slightly to avoid your gaze. 

“What?” You say, blinking rapidly as your mouth finally catches up to your brain. It feels like it’s processing a million thoughts per second.

“This last month, all I’ve learned is how weak I’ve become.” Joel says, bringing a hand to his creased brow.

“What are you talking about?” You challenge, unable to understand how he came to this conclusion. 

“Tess.” At the mention of her name, the room goes quiet. “If it wasn’t for me she…” he sighed and began pacing around the small room. 

“What happened in Kansas City, I’m too slow and deaf. Christ, if you weren’t there.” Joel takes a deep breath before continuing. “She’s only 14, and all I’ve done so far is put her in further danger. And you…” You shake your head saying his name to begin to dispel what he is saying but he cuts you off.

“I’m weak.” He says quietly.

“You are not weak.” You respond at a similar volume.

“Lately there are these moments… like earlier today,” he states, finally sparing you a glance. “That’s not the first time it’s happened, it’s just the first time you’ve seen it.” 

The room goes quiet as you process this new information. Joel comes to sit next to you at the foot of the bed.

“I have these dreams,” he says shakily. “I don’t know what happens in them, I can’t remember. I just know that when I wake up, I’ve lost something.”

Cool water drips from your hair and onto your neck, dampening your shirt. You sit in shock, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m failing in my sleep. It’s all I do, it’s all I’ve ever done is fail her.”

“You’re not-” you start, but as you turn to look at him you are met with a teary eyed glare, begging you not to continue. You close your eyes and rub two fingers against your temple, questioning the events that have brought you to this point, sighing as you lay back on the bed.

“She likes you more.” You say casually as you stare at the ceiling, changing the topic slightly but still remaining on subject.

“No she doesn’t.” Joel says in a dejected voice. You heard a rustling of fabric as your averted gaze allows for Joel to wipe his tears without feeling judged.

“Yes she does.” You state matter-of-factly.

“Trust me, after the… talk we just had, no she doesn’t.” He says sharply. You stare at the motionless ceiling fan debating whether or not to ask.

“What’d you say?” You question, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Same thing I told you.” He says in an exhausted tone. 

“Well, I can see why she might hate you then.” You say half joking. He turns his head to glare at you but doesn’t respond. “What’d she say?”

“She… she said she wasn’t Sarah.” His response causes you to sit up.

“She knows about Sarah?” You ask, he nods in response. You sit for a minute trying to form a response, before you can, Joel speaks again.

“She won’t want me there. You’ll be fine, better, without me.” He says as he begins to stand up.

“Well what if I want you there?” You say, standing to your feet. The exclamation surprises you as much as it does him. He turns back to look at you. You feel your face begin to tighten as the reality of the situation begins to settle in. You aren’t a fool, you know what happens if you leave alone with Ellie tomorrow. By the time you return to Jackson, Joel will be long gone. You’ll have no way of getting in contact or finding him again. If he goes now, you know it’s goodbye. 

“What if I need you?” You say, embarrassed by the wavering in your voice. The light from the bedside lamp reflects his dark eyes. His hand reaches forward momentarily, before returning to his side, balling up into a fist. 

“Tommy’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow morning.” He says, not acknowledging your words as he looks at the wooden floor boards below. “They’ll be a horse ready for you.” Joel quickly exists before you can reply. You feel a rise in your gut as the slammed door echoes throughout the room.

“God dammit!” You yell, throwing your bag across the room. 

Your anger fades observing your scattered belongings. Deep torrid breaths become shorter and more broken as you feel tears start to form in your eyes. Your throat tightens and you suppress a hiccup from escaping. 

You bite your lip and shake your head, wiping the tears away. Crawling into bed, you tell yourself you don’t have the liberty to be upset over disagreements with your now ex… companion. You have a job to do, keep the kid safe, get her where she needs to go. That’s what’s important, you reassure yourself before turning off the light. 

Sleep does not come easy though, as the events of the day replay in your head. You shift onto your back and stare at the shadows running across the ceiling, unable to keep the image of Joel’s heart broken eyes out of your mind. 

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I just wanted to pop in and say that I hope you know that we are all rooting for you to be your best self and you should never feel bad for taking time for yourself! I know that it can be a lot of pressure to be constantly productive—especially in the fanfiction community— but you are ALWAYS your most important reader. You do this for you, and the enjoyment that others get from it is really just a bonus ☺️ I adore your work and think that you capture the tone of the characters just perfectly. I can’t wait to read what you post as soon as you post it but ALWAYS know that this should never make you feel guilty. Life happens, and the people on here aren’t always going to be your #1 priority. We will always be here to celebrate you and your work, no matter when you get to it. Love you so much JJ. ❤️🥹

I LOVE ALL OF Y'ALL SO MUCH I CANNOT EXPRESS TO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE EVERY MESSAGE THAT WAS SENT TO ME.

If I reply to every single one then I'll be flooding y'all's timeline with the same sappy words over and over again, but I just want y'all to know that I've never felt so loved and honored 😭 I know the fanfic community does have the reputation of being high pressure to be productive, but I have never ever felt that way with you guys. You're always so loving and understanding and sweet and that means so much to me.

These last few days have been rough, and I'm still struggling a bit. Long story short, I have a high stress job that no longer offers any reward. I used to be able to put up with the awful stuff b/c at the end of the day I felt like I was making a difference but as of late that has not been the case. [it's part of the reason why I've been working so hard on my original stuff b/c if I can somehow wiggle my way into the professional writing world then I can spend more time doing what I love.]

Anyways, all the stress exhausted me to the point where I didn't have the energy I usually dedicate to writing and I only wanna give y'all the best of what I can do rather than half ass a chapter or drabble.

Tonight, I'm hoping to update the Sugar Daddy!Joel story b/c that's the closet update to being done (and I'm in a 'handsome cowboy millionaire takes care of a down on her luck woman' lol) Then tomorrow I'm hoping to make it a Din Djarin day and get updates on all his stuff out!

[panyvivienda]

¹ Just for the night

summary: looking for a safe place to spend the night, joel and ellie come across a girl singing a david bowie song at the top of her lungs while picking carrots.

a/n:  sorry if there are any mistakes, english it's not my first language. part 2??or not??maybe?? feel like it could have been better 😪

Fatigue ran through every bone in their bodies, making it increasingly difficult to stand upright. Joel seemed to hide it better than Ellie, who every two minutes stopped in her place and said to him that she could not longer feel her legs.

"Just a couple more steps, I promise" he replied, knowing that they still had a long way to go. A few hours earlier they had encountered some hunters. Fortunately for them, they didn't seem to have noticed their presences.

"Well, that doesn't sound so convincing you know" she complained, throwing her head back with a grunt, gaining a sigh from him- You are being way to skeptical Joel, we are gonna be fine- she said looking at him this time, waiting for a "You're so right Ellie, how didn't I listened to you before, let's get some sleep" to fly of his mouth. Not a very Joel thing to say, but something among those words.

"You can ever be to sure" he shortly responded. Ellie opted to say no more, dragging her feet reluctantly behind him, following the road and occasionally glancing at the woods to her right. The moon being the only source of light in the cold starry night. Clearly they were not going to stop until he believed it was a safe place to settle.

The silence did not last long. From the woods they began to hear shouting, which at first scared them. It was someone singing. Joel told Ellie to stay close to him, slowly moving deeper into the woods. They were a little curious as to who was singing at this time of night like crazy. Maybe it was someone deranged who had completely lost their mind. They didn't know, but they did know that they would have to take care of it if they wanted to sleep peacefully and not with one eye open in case this person ended up finding them in the middle of the night.

The surprise they got when they found the person in charge, a girl picking carrots from an orchard, was a rare surprise. They shared an incredulous look, their eyes unable to believe what they were seeing. The girl went on about her business without noticing the two pairs of expectant eyes, singing with an immeasurable passion and stopping to complain about a carrot that didn't want to come out.

"She seems harmeless Joel, look at her" she told him pointing at her with her finger.

"Looks like she has a screw loose to me. Come on".

"That's such an old man thing to say".

Ignoring what he had said earlier, Ellie raised her arms and shouted "Hey you, girl with the weird beanie! Do you think you could give us a hand for tonight?". Flinching at the suddent voice, Amanda raised her head cursing at herself for being so careless. She slowly stand up with two carrots in each of her hands, shaking her head. "No!" she yelled with nervousness, making Ellie frown.

"Come on men, we are tired! Do you have any idea of how much we have been walk- "

"Okay, that's enough" grabbing her by her arm, Joel yanked her to the woods, having to stop due to the girl resisting "She doesn't want to help us Ellie, she doesn't have too either".

"Kinda has to now" she contradicted him "She was the one singing loudly that brought us here, besides look at that big ass house she got there! You're gonna tell me she ain't got space for us two?" she said the last thing more directed to Amanda "It's pretty late we just want to sleep, we ain't bad guys".

Amanda couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. The man wasn't wrong, she didn't have to help them, but because of her not keeping her stupid mouth shout she end up putting herself in this situation, so now she had to deal with it. What if she didn't help them and they end up dying? She couldn't do that. But what if they weren't good people? What if they killed her? Hell, she didn't fucking know them! And she really wanted to sleep with a clear conscience.

Frustration started to build up, and before Joel could even say something, she yelled "Fine! But if you two try something I... I" she failed to threaten, feeling dumb for trying to sound intimidating with a pointing carrot at their direction "Just don't try anything, I'm trying to do something nice, so don't make me regreat it" dropping the carrots to the floor, Amanda started walking to the door fence "Over here".

Ellie looked at Joel with a triumphant smile. Without much effort she had managed to persuade the yet girl of unknown name, getting them a roof over their heads for tonight . Following the girl’s instructions, they went through the fence, now facing each other.

"Hi, I'm Amanda" she presented herself, feeling uncomfortable with their eyes buried in her.

"I'm Ellie"  the redhead continued, expecting the man besider her to tell his, but he seem hesitant, causing her to roll her eyes "And he's Joel. Not a very talkative guy".

"Great, Ellie, Joel, would you like to come inside and have dinner? I was about to make it but I forgot the carrots and um you know this happend" she explained while moving her hands.

Ellie laughed, adding to the conversation "Yeah we know, what was it that you were singing?" at the question, Amanda couldn't help but feel quite embarrassed, they just had to be there at that precise moment? She was going to answer her, but Joel beat her to it.

"Space Oddity by David Bowie".

"Exactly".

"And that was?"

"Are you for real? He was a fucking icon! The best of the best! At least that's what my dad used to tell me all the time" as they spoke, they began to walk, heading to Amanda's house, the older one following them from behind. Joel's eyes darted everywhere, fearing that someone would jump out and attack them, although Amanda seemed nice, or maybe she was good at pretending "He didn't follow what at the time society expected from people, he challenged everything and cared little about what others may say. Everything he touched, he turned it into art. My dad got to see him performance, and he told me that his mere presence on stage was simply indescribable" Ellie listened attentively to every word that came out of her mouth, finding what she said interesting and wanting to learn more. She decided to not make questions about her dad. She imagined what she could say to her if she were to ask.

"That must have been fucking awesome! I wish I had the opportunity to hear artists performance in live" Ellie exclaimed content, turning to her left "Ever went to a concert Joel?".

"That was more of a Tommy thing to do" said sincerely, waiting for Amanda to open the door "Is there more people with you?"

"I've been on my own for a while now".

"Oh" that's all Ellie said to her, feeling stupid afterwards. Amanda gave her a small grin.

Before they entered, Amanda asked them kindly if they could take off their shoes "I got a serious problem with keeping things clean, sorry" she apologized, moving to a side to turn the lights, surprising the other two.

"You have electricity? How is that possible?" Amanda smiled at Joel’s questions.

"A little further back from home there’s plenty of wind towers. It's a pretty unpopulated place because of that, it has always been" she replied, crossing her arms behind her back, swinging back and forth.

"And how do you keep it working?" asked Ellie this time.

"I got not idea, it just does. My dad was the one in charge of that. Never explained it further because he said I didn't need to understand. In some point it's gonna stop working, I guess" she said, getting lost in thought, which didn’t go unnoticed by Joel "Anyways, I have to finish cooking dinner, meanwhile you guys could take a shower" seeming to have realized the double connotation of her sentence, she quickly said "Not because I think you guys smell, it's just because, I mean.. there's hot water!"

Ellie failed to contain her laugh, letting some chuckles escape, while Joel couldn't hide his smile.

"We know we smell, believe me. I'm gonna shower first. I haven't showered with hot water in like, forever!" following Amanda's directions and accepting a borrowed towel and clothes, Ellie went into the bathroom, leaving her and Joel on their own.

"I do not want to overstep, but" Amanda interrumped him before he could even finish.

"He died a few months ago, I think it's been five months by now, but I'm not really sure" she knew she was relying way too much on these two, but she decided to trust her senses, that until now, with her few years of life, had never failed her" Joel felt sorry for her, and Amanda hated it "I got so lost talking about David Bowie that I totally forgot to grab the carrots, would you mind boiling the water? I already put the water in the pot. The lighter is on top of the microwave".

"Alright".

"Great, we are eating some smashed potatoes and carrots tonight ".

After doing what he was told to, Joel took the time to appreciate every detail that adorned the house.All of the furniture was made of wood, mostly with antique lamps above them. Large pinturesque paintings hung on some walls, every one of them belonging to a same style. They shared the same signature "Fiona Wesley". There were also dried flowers upside down on some of the tiles in the kitchen, but what caught his total attention were the pictures on the fridge. He couldn't help but let thoughts of Sarah flood on his mind.

---

"God, it's been so long since I've had a proper meal" commented Ellie, happy with Amanda's cooking "You are so good. You don't know what it's like to have to eat Joel's cooking, he burns everything!" Joel gave her a dirty look, feeling offended.

"Thank you very much, it's not a such a big deal honestly".

"She's right, it's pretty good".

"Well... thanks" not used to receiving compliments, Amanda did what she does best, change the subject. "So...if you don't mind me asking, where were you heading to?."

Ellie looked at Joel to see if it was okay to be honest with her. He nodded.

"We are looking for Joel's brother, Tommy. We think he's in Wyoming."

"Shit, that's a long way from here, more if it's by foot. You're going to need plenty of food and coats, I should give you some."

"You helped us enough, it's not necessary" Joel denied, feeling that he was abusing her kindness.

"Don't worry Joel, it doesn't bother me. It would actually make me feel better if you took something for the trip. It's hard to get food with the weather like this, you rarely spot animals to hunt. It would be nice if you carried a couple of rations. Take it as what you guys owe me for letting you spend the night here"- she told him smiling, hoping he wouldn't deny her offer. "So, don't you want me to make up your beds? For what you guys have told me, you got a long way from here to Wyoming".

"Alright, but then let us raise the table in the meantime" Joel offered in vain, since Amanda wouldn't let them do anything.

"I will do it later, not big deal. Come with me guys, I'll show you your room" Joel and Ellie shared a glance, and then followed in the footsteps of the black haired girl.

---

"It was released on 11 of july in of 1969, five days before Apollo 11 set off to compleat his mission and land the first man on the moon, isn't that cool?".

"That's actually so fucking cool. Where did you learn that from?".

Once they got to the guest room, Amanda and Ellie couldn't seem to stop bringing up topics. They got along well, being able to talk easily with each other. Joel was already lying down, finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He listened carefully to what the girls were saying. He didn't want to interrupt them, no matter how sleepy he was. Both Ellie and Amanda needed it. Especially the last one, who looked like she hadn't spoken to someone in a long time. Tomorrow they would be going their separate ways, so he thought that he should at least let them enjoy each other's presence while they could.

"I read a book called 'Artists you should know before you die'. I found it in the shelf over Joel's head, it's the one over there" she pointed, moving closer to Ellie, making her nervous "It has some interesting facts, this one was there".

"Do you know who Sally Ride is?" Ellie couldn't resist but asker her, wanting to talk about her. Sally ride was one of her biggest idols, and the idea that maybe Amanda and her shared the same admiration towards her, was exciting for her.

"Hello? How could I not? She was the first American female austronaut to go into space!".

"Finally somebody that knows what I'm talking ab-" snoring echoed off the four walls of the room, loud snoring. The girls laughed, turning to look.

"Well, it looks like we talked too much and bored Joel" whispered Amanda, slowly getting up. It felt good to have someone her own age to talk to. Ellie felt the same way, disappointed that she had to leave by the morning. She wished she could stay for a few more days with her and get to know her even better, but she had to make it to the fireflies if she didn't want all the losses to be in vain.

"Yes, we bored him quite a bit" she answered quietly, looking at his sleeping figure "He has been sleeping less than he should, he refuses to let his guard down."

"I understand" looking up from her feet, the black haired girl said with a sigh "You should rest too".

"Yeah I probably should".

"Goodnight Ellie."

"Goodnight."

[eriexplosion]

Oof; you're getting the Thermian Argument thrown at you left and right, huh?

My faith in the writers has increased over the course of two-and-something seasons, so I'm hoping they manage to stick the landing with the back half of s3; that's all I can really say until we get it. Looking at the remaining episodes, d'you have a notion of when/where Tech may show up? (I figure it won't be before episode s3e9, and might even be later).

I do think there's a place for in-universe arguments, but for the most part it's when actually discussing why things happen in universe - why did character make this choice and not that choice, etc. It's a separate thing from trying to discuss how the narrative itself seems to be handling something and why. I know death of the author is popular and all but while the media is still going, trying to figure out the authors intent is pretty important to base your predictions off of. Otherwise you're just picking what you want to happen and working backwards from there. I won't lie, I did start out wanting Tech to have survived, but I was still looking at it from multiple angles and willing to change my opinion, I just never found anything super compelling that outweighs the Alive evidence.

As for where Tech might come in... I do think season 3 episode 9 is a big possibility for a few reasons.

Obviously it's where we cut the reviewers off, and reportedly (though take it with a grain of salt) episode 8 leaves off on a cliffhanger. This seems like a good opportunity to introduce something big in episode 9.

Wayyyy back when, with Joel Aron's 'if you could only see who was on my screen' tweet, he did specify a midseason episode, which I think would cover anywhere from say 8-10. Any later than that and I wouldn't call it midseason anymore. Given the timing he was clearly teasing Tech, and if Tech doesn't materialize during the midseason range he may end up with twitter people at his house.

Episode 9 actually airs as close to one year after Plan 99 as they could get it (March 29, 2023 VS March 27, 2024) and I wouldn't put so much stock in it except that they have done Important Dates with TBB before (Aired The Return as close to one year after The Outpost as possible, the season starting on the 4 year anniversary of the batch being introduced into TCW) and so it is interesting that it should line up that way.

From a story perspective, I think that waiting too much longer than 9 or 10 would make closing the arcs he still has open difficult to do naturally.

I took 3/27 off just in case because either I'll be bemoaning in disappointment or I'll be the most irritating smug bitch on the planet and I can't work under either of those conditions.

[siriannatan]

yet ANOTHER 'fWhip can't take care of himself and refuses to rest' - ScottfWhipJimmy

You guys said you wanted this so I wrote it :} (I might have been watching Martyn's vault hunters streams as background noise...)

Jimmy's favourite part of the emperor's meets at Grimlands was when he could leave and no longer listen to Joel complain about how the count was dressed. Mostly that it did not suit a noble, not to say an emperor with the Crown. Who cared if fWhip lived his life in dusty and muddy, too-big-for-him coats and falling-apart scarves? Jimmy certainly didn't, especially since the whole conflict between them has ended.

"I think I left my notes," he sighed to Lizzie, Joel and Scott. 

"I'll wait here," the elf said, already leaning against a wall. They did have a meeting scheduled to talk about some stuff - mostly so Scott could have a break from his brother and advisors.

Since Lizzie and Joel had their own things to get back so they left - Lizzie did threaten Scott to make sure Jimmy was not hurt. Not that many things could hurt an eight feet tall demigod who could at will strike all his problems with thunder. And so Jimmy hurried back to the meeting room.

To his shock fWhip was still there. Jimmy expected he went to discuss some WRA business but he was just slumped in his chair. "Sorry, I forgot my..." Jimmy started to apologise, just in case fWhip was actually doing something important, but froze when the Lord Emperor... snored and shifted a bit. 

Was he really asleep or messing with Jimmy? When would he fall asleep even? The meeting ended barely like five minutes ago. And now that Jimmy was thinking about it fWhip did look a bit tired and even yawned a few times. But to fall asleep this fast? He must have been exhausted. And... maybe looked a bit cute all wrapped in his coat, scarf and draconic wings with his mouth slightly open. But no matter how cute he looked or how comfy the chairs in the meeting hall were it was probably not the best spot for a nap.

He did have Scott waiting for him but there was no way he was leaving fWhip like this. So after grabbing his papers and shoving them into his bag Jimmy gently shook fWhip. "fWhip? Don't you have a bed somewhere?" he asked just quiet enough so anyone walking past the room wouldn't - hopefully- hear him, and shook the half-dragon. 

Nothing so plan B it was - calling Scott so he was not annoyed he had to wait and explaining the situation to him. 

Scott was quickly back in the meeting room and sighed as soon as he saw fWhip. "He's overworking himself again," he said and poked fWhip. Not even his cold hands could wake the slumbering dragon. "I found him like this a few times back when Rivendell was in the WRA," he explained. "He'll overwork himself and then sleep in the most random places. Like the top of his workbench and then pretend he's fine. We definitely should move him somewhere more comfortable."

Luckily they were literally inside fWhip's manor so all they had to do was find a bed. Any bed. And put fWhip in it. All while avoiding any staff and guards so they would not alert fWhip's siblings and allies. They wanted to put him somewhere comfortable. Not start a war. Luckily they didn't have to wander too much and there wasn't that much staff in the manor. Maybe because of the meeting? 

"I think it might be fWhip's bedroom," Scott hummed looking about as Jimmy set the sleeping count on the bed. "Looks like no one slept here in a while," he explained but Jimmy had a different problem.

"Scott? He's not letting go of me..." Jimmy whispered, at this point afraid to wake fWhip up. And got pulled even closer as fWhip mumbled something in his sleep. Low and growly but illegible. "Scott? Help... please..."

"How exactly am I supposed to help? I'm sure you're strong enough to break out," Scott chuckled. "And it's nice to see you two not arguing without Gem and Lizzie around," he added and sat on the bed.

It was a mistake as fWhip's arm which was not holding Jimmy hostage for fear of breaking the count's limbs, grabbed his long braid and pulled him into the hug. Mumbling something just for a second and shifting with an annoyed half-growl until he was comfy enough between too shocked to resist Scott and Jimmy.

"I think we're stuck here," Jimmy whispered, giving up and cuddling fWhip. He was not fighting long, covered in deep dark red scales tail wrapped around his leg. Scott sighed and said nothing but also gave up to the tight grip the living furnace that fWhip was, had on him. It was quite a pleasant change from the constant chill his affinity for ice magic came with.

*several hours later*

fWhip had no recollection of ever leaving the quickly tossed together by his staff meeting room and going to bed. Or Scott and Jimmy ever joining him as pleasant as it was to be stuck between them despite Jimmy's sharp scales and how cold Scott always was. His dragon part was happy and it took him a second to register that he was purring. Not something he did often, growling at annoying people was a more common presentation of his dragon instincts.

"Had a nice nap, sunflower?" Scott hummed, shifting a bit but not pulling away. "You're purring..."

"It's cute," Jimmy yawned from behind fWhip pulling both of them to himself. "Morning, firecracker."

fWhip could only hum as his dragon brain melted in all the affection. Dragons were as he discovered shockingly clingy and cuddly which made his day-to-day life a bit miserable as it made him constantly touch-starved. It was so bad he wasn't even questioning why Jimmy and Scott were in his bed anymore. Just hoping they'd stay a bit longer.

[spacedykez]

2, 10 and 11!

2. who's POV are you watching currently, and why?

id say my main povs are pearl and scott!! i am an avid scott watcher (i would like to apologize publically for being Pretentious about him. his characters are my all time most favorite blorbos and i DO get very "no one else gets him like i do" about them) and i love pearl!! i unfortunately dont usually watch a ton of her content outside of the life series because she makes really long videos and my adhd does NOT have the attention span for hour long videos. but i LOVE pearl shes so fun. i also do try to watch as many other people's povs as i can, which so far is bigb, martyn, and lizzie. i think that gives me a pretty good view of a good amount of what happens on the server. i don't really have the energy for too many more POVS since the videos are 40m each and its hard to focus on things for hours on end even when i enjoy them (again, adhd)

10. do you have any headcanons? or theories about the season?

traffic scott is aroallo gay and polyamorous to me this is projection i am right and i will not be providing explanation or taking criticism at this time. also not rlly a headcanon but He Would Not Fucking Be Skinny quit twinkifying him. i also hc every cscott with long hair because i think he would have long hair and ccscott is WRONG about this i like to headcanon cpearl as a lesbian and genderfluid she/it! this is Also projection. but i think that it would use it/its. this is a compliment. i just think shes neat theories: grian i will steal your socks if this watcher lore turns out to be nothing i am standing here with a corkboard and red string DO YOU SEE THIS there HAS to be a deeper meaning to this. i dont think that bigbs task for session 2 actually was unusual, it wasnt worded weirdly. scar got the same task except with players last session. i think joel got the red task this time THINK ABOUT IT GUYS. THINK ABOUT IT. IT WAS SHORT AND VAGUE AND UNSPECIFIC LIKE BIGB'S. it was unspecific in the OPPOSITE direction!! like the other tasks give you a Specific succeed/fail condition but bigb's session 1 task & joel's session 2 task are both Unspecific and Dont provide a specific succeed/fail condition!! think abt it!!

11. if you had to bet on it, how long do you think this season will last?

honestly?? the way things are going i could see this season lasting WAY longer than any past season. i could see it going into december. most* of my povs at least are very good at not taking damage and unless the tasks start getting harder it doesn't seem like it's very impossible to complete your task every week?? We'll have to wait and see but at the moment it really feels like this season could go on a while. at least 10 weeks *martyn itlw not included

follow me @trafficyuri for secret life posting btw in case youve been wondering why im not posting abt it on main

[kittygrobemlin]

Last of us x reader chapter one - Tomorrow Is a Long Time

Summary: You started to remember what happened three months prior but the moment you reached Jackson and everything changed

Word Count: 2.4k

Notes: this is my first time doing a Last of Us X Reader story, so sorry if something's are inaccurate to the normal story, also i'm not great in coming up with chapter names so i'm using song titles that I listened to while making them

Edit: I didn't proofread this the first time and once my friend read it out in a Kermit voice, I then realised I needed to fix somethings

Song: Tomorrow Is a Long Time by Bob Dylan

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It has been three months since Kansas city, Henry and Sam, as the three of you walked near a cabin that looked occupied, Joel and Ellie were about to head inside but before you could you spoke up "hey I'm going to stay out here, I need to clear my head" Joel gave you a nod and Ellie just looked at you for a split second then followed Joel in

you walked off but still in sight of the cabin in case something went down, you found a snow covered stump and sat down

you started to breath in and out trying to recall everything that has happened in the last three months 

*flashback*

you were sitting around the table with Joel and Tess trying to figure out how to get a car battery, Tess suggested that they steal back the battery

It was agreed so they left the apartment at night, it was like you were sleepwalking because one minute they was talking to Marlene and agreeing to smuggle a teenager called Ellie out of the Boston quarantine zone to the Massachusetts state house then next moment they watched as Joel started to beat the living shit out of the Fedra guard because he was going to shoot Ellie

When it felt like you had woken up is when the four of you were running from clickers in a very tight spot and noticed Tess was about to be bit by one but you didn't realise you were too late because as you pulled the clicker off her as it faced you instead and launched itself at you but before it could you killed it 

Tess grabbed your shoulders calling out your name "Y/N are you okay, are you still with us" your eyes snapped at her as your eyes started to slowly dilate from the adrenaline rush

"Yeah yeah I'm still here, wait" you placed a hand to your head feeling dizzy "how did we get here again" Tess looked at you worried but Tess couldn't say anything because Joel was calling out for Tess and you

you and Tess went to find Joel and Ellie, so now you, Joel, Tess and Ellie reached the state house only problem was they realised it's been compromised

But the matters only got worse when they found out Tess was bit, "it was going to happen sooner or later" Tess looked at Joel then to you

But before she could say anything else a noise could be heard outside, Tess started to knock over petrol drums and grenade boxes 

She told Joel to take Ellie and run to which he did but when she looked at you, Tess knew something wasn't right with them she saw a glint in their eyes but not the good kind

"Y/N you're going to have to be strong now but you might fall down that path again you hear me but use it because Joel and Ellie needs you like how you protected us back then with Tommy, me and Joel, you have to protect them at any cost" you looked at Tess as you tilted your head slightly to the right, the glint in your eyes showed for a second as you looked at Tess then nodded but before you left, you kissed Tess's forehead

You made it out of the state house before Tess blew it up, you don't remember much after that because it happened again you ending up in a sleepwalking like state cause you came to Kathleen getting killed by a child clicker and a swarm of infected heading back towards kansas city then like a blink of the eye you were burying Henry and Sam

*End of flashback*

Now here you were waiting on a snow covered stump waiting for Joel and Ellie to come out of the cabin to which they did but you noticed Joel clutching his chest in pain

You started to run over to them "Jesus Joel are you okay, what happened in there you were both gone for hours" Joel looked at you with furrowed eyebrows "it must of felt like that but don't worry it was only a few minutes, also I'm doing okay darling so you don't have nothing worry about" 

Joel gave you a small head pat before getting back on his feet and walking towards the river of death, Ellie on the other hand was a bit more concerned for your well being

You's took shelter near a cave-like entrance for the night and you went to sleep first way before Joel or Ellie could say anything to you

Ellie looked over at your sleeping body then back at Joel, "Joel I'm worried about Y/N" Joel turned his head to look at you then back at Ellie "what do you mean" 

"Well if you haven't noticed they have been looking like they are in a daze and their eyes have been in a dilated state in two separate incidents" Joel furrowed his eyes at Ellie "what are you on about Ellie" 

"Joel how have you not noticed, I heard them gasp when Kathleen was killed and they gasped again when we buried Henry and Sam, it was like they didn't realise what was happening around them also back at bill and franks they showed no emotions and it felt like they weren't even there* 

Now that Joel thinks about it he did start to notice some hints but he brushed it off chalking it up to stress but before he fell asleep, he started to think to himself when they reach Jackson should he leave you there with Tommy

Daylight approached as you started to wake up to the morning birds singing, as you got up you noticed you were the last to wake up "oh I'm sorry, you should have woken me up, if I was holding us back"

Joel looked at you for a split second "um darling we did it was like you were dead to the world, but now that you're up we can head out" 

The three of you started your hike to the river of death, as you were walking, you could feel you were heading back into your daze again but it only lasted for a second cause as you were watching Joel and Ellie look at map trying to figure out where you's were 

you heard the galloping and horse's neighing from afar, Joel started to panic and grabbed both yours and Ellie's hand but it was too late to escape as they circled you's, Joel quietly spoke to you and Ellie "stay behind me" then very quickly putting your hands up in the air 

"We ain't looking for any trouble we're just passing through" one of the people on the horse points a gun at Joel "drop the gun" Joel compiles to order 

You started to count how many people there were trying to think of a plan b in case things go sideways

"You's two take five steps back" you snapped your head towards the guy that ordered you and Ellie to step away from Joel, you compiled but you could feel something gnawing in the back of your mind "Joel and Ellie needs you, you have to protect them at any cost"

You closed your eyes so tightly that it felt like your ears were ringing, you didn't realise what was happening around you until the ringing stopped and all you could hear was Ellie laughing

When you opened your eyes again you were on a horse galloping up to Jackson that was surrounded by a fortress of wood 

As you's walked through the gates, looking at all the people working you's all came to a standstill when you heard Joel spot Tommy and yelled out his name 

You looked at Tommy with the biggest smile but sad eyes as you hop off the horse you were on and hugged him so tightly that you couldn't tell if he was real 

Tommy picked up on that but before he didn't say anything, they were all asked by the woman that brought them here if they would like some food

Joel and Ellie started to eat the food in front of them but for you it was like you were a miles away that you didn't hear most of the conversation between the four of them you only caught bits and pieces like

The woman's name is Maria and she's married to Tommy and Ellie being rude to a girl that was being nosey 

Tommy had asked you something but didn't hear him until Ellie kicked you in the shin, that got a reaction out of you as you whipped your head around to look at her "Y/N Tommy asked if you want a tour" 

"Oh um yeah sure" you nodded and started to rub your eyes like you felt so exhausted

Maria and Tommy started to show you around the place, you listened to everything that was being said up until Maria ushered you and Ellie away from Joel because Joel wanted to catch up with Tommy

Maria showed you and Ellie the house you'll be living in, you started to look around but the moment Maria left you's two alone, Ellie turned to you

"What the hell was that back at the hall" you looked at Ellie with a confused look "what are you on about" 

"That look of annoyance Y/N when I was trying to get your attention" you started to rub your eyes again and to stifle a yawn "well Ellie that's what you get when you kick someone in the shins", "but you weren't responding to Tommy's question" 

"That's because I am exhausted and I was tuning things out" Ellie looked at you then muttered "you've been doing that a lot lately"

You stopped rubbing your eyes "What was that", "nothing" Ellie looked away from you as you squinted at her 

"Anyway you go and have a shower Ellie I'm going to find Tommy", "wait why do you need to talk to Tommy", "there are some things that I need to talk to him about"

As you were about to leave Ellie asked one more thing "like what", "nothing for you to worry about" 

You went looking for Tommy, you were about to give up when you noticed Joel storming out of a bar, that's where you headed 

The moment you entered the bar Tommy looked worried like he said the wrong thing cause as you walked up to him he started to apologise for something he didn't mean then he realised you weren't Joel

The both you sat down and had a catch up chat, "so Y/N how's life been keeping ya" you looked at Tommy for a second before giggling to yourself "it's been dandy Tommy" Tommy gave you smile 

"Ok Y/N tell me what's actually going on with you" you took a deep breath before telling Tommy "it's happening again Tommy, I feel like at times I'm in a constant sleepwalk state but I'm there but not there feeling and I'm only coming to certain moments"

Tommy looked at you in complete concern "when did it start happening again", "uhh the day we needed a car battery so that day we met Ellie" 

Tommy stood up for a second to pace while you stayed seated "does Joel know" you shook your head "no he doesn't and he doesn't need to know"

"Y/N Joel needs to know", "he doesn't need to know because it ain't just that, I keep having this gnawing feeling that something bad is going to happen to them and Joel and Ellie need me, i have to protect them at any cost"

Tommy stopped in place as he looked at you again like he was examining you for something but he was interrupted by you yawning

"but the main reason I haven't told Joel is because I fear he's going to leave me when he learns the truth about me, like when we reunited back then and everything I did to protect you, Tess and Joel”

Tommy walked over to you and gave you a hug and small words of comfort "don't worry Joel isn't going anywhere, he's not going to leave you"

you gave Tommy a comforting smile as you hugged back but you both noticed it was getting dark, you decided to head back home, while Tommy went to find Maria

As you entered the house it was quiet, "hm they both must of still be out, Welp I'll sleep on the sofa until they get back then" but the moment your body layed down on sofa you fell right off to sleep like you were dead to world and nothing was going to wake you up 

So you never woke up to Joel and Ellie having an argument or that Joel and Ellie were about to leave but before they left, they spoke in hushed whispers to each other before leaving the house

"Joel why aren't you waking up Y/N", "their going to stay here and Tommy will look after them", "but why", "you told me that they had been acting strange and I think if they stay here they will be fine"

Ellie sighed at Joel "so we're just leaving them, what if they come looking for us instead" 

Joel looked at Ellie and didn't think about that then believes Tommy or Maria will stop you "come on we need to head to the stables before Y/N knows we're missing"

Joel and Ellie headed to the stables where Tommy was waiting for them "what took you so long", Ellie was hopping on the horse before responding to Tommy

"We were discussing things about leaving Y/N here" Tommy went wide eyed when hearing this as he looked at Joel "you said you weren't going to abandon them Joel" , "Tommy they have you here to look after them"

Tommy huffed out an angry breath "you've put me in a bad situation and it's only going to get worse" Joel hopped onto the horse with Ellie but she looked at Tommy with a quizzical look and wanted to ask what he meant

But she never got the chance as Tommy opened the gates of Jackson for Joel they were gone and Tommy started to head back towards his house and having now to plan what happens next with you