#in an angst “call me son one more time” hamilton kinda way

[princeloww]

"Alec Hardy is transfem" "Alec Hardy is transmasc" HAVE YOU SEEN EMMETT CARVER.

[therealdeanwinchester13-blog]

Title: Ending Your Nightmare

Characters: Dean, Sam, and Female Reader

Prompt: #45--“My first friend, my enemy, maybe the last face I ever see.” (The World Was Wide Enough)

Summary: Sam and Dean go on a hunt for a werewolf. However, Sam is already in a bad place after his girlfriend of 3 years (the female reader, also a hunter) breaks up with him. After she leaves the Bunker and starts hunting on her own again, the Winchesters don’t hear from her anymore. They finally find the werewolf, only to discover it is the female reader and learn that she was turned on a hunt after going on her own.

Fic Notes: The reader and Sam break up about 2 months before the brothers go on the werewolf hunt. The reader was turned about 6 weeks after she left the Bunker, so about 2 weeks before the Winchesters finally hear about the new case. She was trying to stay somewhat human but finally loses control and (since this is before the werewolf cure is discovered) Sam and Dean must kill her to make sure she stops.

Word Count: 2,071 words

Author’s Note: This is for @whispersandwhiskerburn’s Hamilnatural Challenge! So jealous that I can’t go see Hamilton, too! And congrats on finishing your first semester teaching at your new school! Hope things continue to go well for you! Also, to my readers, I’m sorry that 90% of my fics seem to end in the reader dying. When I write, I’m just a very twisted person with a dark mind and a messed up sense of humor.

Warnings: Not exactly sure what to call this…probably mostly angst with a little bit of fluff and more angst. Also some foul language. Hope you guys enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Bunker, 9:37am

“Sam. Sammy! Let’s go!” Dean walks past the door to his brother’s room, banging on it as he goes by. He calls back over his shoulder as he keeps moving, “We got a case. If you’re not ready within the next few minutes, I’m coming in there with the scissors!”

From inside the bedroom, Sam groaned and, rubbing his eyes, tiredly got up out of bed. He glanced around the room with his bloodshot eyes, still exhausted from not sleeping much during the night, and glanced at the empty space in the bed.

 *Flashback*

“Sammy!” You squealed as Sam chased you around the Bunker, laughing and running as fast as you could, trying to get away. As you turned one of the corners, you could hear Sam’s deep laughter as he followed behind you.

Darting into the first room you can find, you close the door as quietly as possible and hide in a corner while keeping the lights off. You breathe softly, trying to stay quiet so Sam won’t find you.

“Oh, (Y/N)!” Sam called from the hallway, not ready to give up just yet. “Where did you disappear to?” His footsteps kept moving, fading as he walked away. Once you thought he was gone, you cracked the door open and looked out into the empty hall.

Seeing no one, you breathed a sigh of relief and started to step out of the room, only to have Sam rush around the corner and throw you over his shoulder with a playful smile on his face. He carried you back into the room and dropped you on something soft before turning on the lights.

The bright lights blinded you for a moment and a few moments passed before you realized you were laying on a bed, and not just any bed, but Sam’s bed and he was watching you from the corner of what you now realized was his room, a serious look on his face.

“Everything alright, Sammy?” You were confused as you had just been having fun, laughing and feeling like there wasn’t a single thing left to worry about. Looking at the younger Winchester, it seemed someone had just taken everything he cared about away from him and you couldn’t understand why.

Blinking, Sam shook his head and swiftly crossed the room to stand in front of you, pulling you up from the bed and urgently pressing his lips against your own.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispered against your lips.

*End of flashback*

Things just weren’t been the same with you gone and Sam would do anything to be able to relive the better days, the ones spent with you by his side. He stared at the empty space, your empty space, for a moment longer before getting out of bed and getting ready to go on another hunt.

 TIME SKIP, 5 HOURS LATER (2:43pm)

A young man sat in a hospital room, bandaged from his shoulder almost to his hip. He pulled at his uncomfortable hospital clothes and looked back at the two men in suits standing in front of him.

“So who did you say you guys were again?” Sam and Dean exchanged a quick glance at the question.

“Agents Smith and Williams.” They flashed their fake badges at the injured man as Dean continued, “If you could just tell us what happe-”

“Wait, why would the FBI be involved? It was an animal attack,” the man interrupted, both confused and annoyed. He narrowed his eyes at Sam and Dean. “Isn’t that a little out of your job description? Oh, I know, you’re here because they think I’m crazy. Well, I know what I saw! I know what attacked me!”

By the end of the sentence he was shouting and after giving his brother a concerned look, Sam stepped closer and put his hand on the man’s uninjured shoulder. “We don’t think you’re crazy. If you could just tell us what it was that attacked you maybe we can help. Please, nothing is too crazy,” he reassured.

The man still looked doubtful but continued. “It was big, I know that. It looked just like a wolf but it wasn’t, not one that I’ve ever seen. I know it sounds insane--I wouldn’t have believed it myself if it didn’t happen to me--but I think it was a werewolf.” The man looked down, embarrassed at having said the words aloud. Sam and Dean shared one more glance before thanking the man for speaking with them and walking out of the hospital room.

 TIME SKIP, 8 HOURS LATER (10:45pm) *They’ve finished looking into everything and agree that the man was attacked by a werewolf.*

They had finally found where the werewolf was. The Impala doors slammed shut and Sam and Dean made their way to the back of the car to get some supplies from the trunk. Once opened, the two reached in and started grabbing anything with silver--knives, bullets, and anything else they could find. Nodding to each other, Dean closed the trunk and they silently made their way to the door to the abandoned building where the monster was staying.

Dean stood over in the shadows, glancing around to make sure they weren’t being watched while Sam concentrated on picking the lock. He went to touch the doorknob and it swung open almost immediately, unlocked. Alarmed, Sam stood up and motioned to Dean before quickly ducking inside. Dean followed after another moment and closed the door behind him, leaving no evidence that they were there aside from the car parked outside.

Darkness greeted the two hunters after they entered and Sam had to pull out his flashlight to see where they were going. As he shined it on the walls, Sam and Dean noticed what looked like words, written in what appeared to be blood. Sharing a dark look, they moved closer to read. What was written sent chills down their spines.

 Help me.

I can’t stop.

I can’t control this.

It hurts.

Make it stop.

Save them before I kill again.

Save me from myself.

 “Who the fuck are you?” A voice, female, rang out and the boys jumped back in surprise and pulled out the first thing their hands touched. They raised their guns, aiming at the girl in front of them.

“Show yourself. Now.” Dean gave the command in a frighteningly calm voice, a voice that left no room for argument. You sighed and raised your hands in the air before stepping out of the dark and into the ring of light from Sam’s flashlight, now on the floor from when he dropped it when you first spoke.

“What’s the matter, Deanie? Don’t remember little old me?” You taunted him, a bitter tone to your voice, as you pushed your hair away from your face.

“(Y/N)??” Both Winchesters were shocked and you let out an empty, broken laugh at the surprise on their faces. “Hi, boys. It’s been awhile. What’s up?”

Dean was the first to recover while Sam still stared at you with a pained expression. “What are you doing here? Don’t you know there’s a werewolf running around? I don’t care if you are a skilled hunter, you shouldn’t be doing this case on your own!” He continued his rant, putting his gun away and waving his arms around. “I mean, come on! Do you have any idea how many people this thing has killed and injured? 19! 19 people! And as if that wasn’t enough, he’s obviously insane! Just look at this writing and take a minute to at least consider the conseq-”

“Dean.” Sam interrupted his brother, having watched you grow more and more amused as his brother spoke, a dark smile on your face. “Stop talking.”

“Oh, no. Please. Keep going. You were saying what he has done to these people?” Your smile grew as you emphasized the word he.

“Son of a-” Realization crossed over the older Winchester’s face as he reached for his gun once more. Unfortunately, you had no intentions of letting him reach it twice.

“Sorry, Deanie. But I’ve kinda gotten used to this. And I’ve found it’s fun to be the bad guy for a change,” You lunged for him, turning as you went, and pinned him to the ground. Dean’s head hit a piece of metal and he was out cold within a few seconds. As Dean went down, Sam shot three times and hit you once in the side. Growling, you turned and went after him next and watched as his face turned from confusion over the bullet having no affect on you to fear as he realized what was about to happen.

Changing back, you looked at the two unconscious figures in front of you. “Nighty night, boys.”

 TIME SKIP, 30 MINUTES (11:46pm)

“Sam. Sam. Sammy!” Sam woke up to hear Dean calling his name for the second time that day. Groaning, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times to get used to how bright the room was. Looking around, Sam noticed this room appeared to be in decent condition and all the lights that were working were on. In the opposite corner from where the two were he could see a makeshift bed on the floor, obviously where you had been sleeping for who knows how long. Dean elbowed his brother and nodded to the chair by the door so Sam could see you sitting there, head back and eyes closed. They both pulled on their wrists, trying to pull them from behind their backs, only to feel handcuffs bite into their skin.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to finally wake up. How’re the two Sleeping Beauties feeling?” You taunted the hunters, your former friends, from where you sat with your arms crossed. You stood up and casually kicked the chair back with your foot before strolling across the room and crouching down so you could all look each other in the eyes. “Wasn’t sure if I hit you too hard, I’m glad you guys won’t miss out on the fun.”

Dean began to struggle again as you spoke but Sam simply stared at you with pain in his eyes, his heart breaking just looking at you. He swallowed and began to speak, his voice cracking as he did. “(Y/N)…(Y/N/N), please…I know there’s still good in you. Somewhere, it’s still there.”

You paused and looked at Sam, really looked at him for the first time tonight. “Sammy Winchester…my first friend, my enemy, maybe the last face I ever see. I know what you and Deanie here will do to me, what you came here to do. You’re going to kill me.  After all, I’m just another monster, another case for the two of you. Do you want to know why I was turned? Because the guy who did it thought it would be funny, wanted it to be a big fuck you to you both for what you do to us.” All the Winchesters could do was stare at you with sympathy and guilt, knowing they were what had caused this to happen to you.

You turned away, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before letting it out. Turning back to look at the two, you gave them a pleading look. “If I let you go…I’m so tired of this, so tired of having no control…can you promise it’ll be over quickly?” You suddenly looked much older than 22.

“(Y/N)-” Dean started to speak, taking pity on you.

“Okay.” Sam spoke quickly, interrupting his brother and taking all three of you by surprise. “But I’ll be the one to do it.”

You nodded at him, grateful that he seemed to understand how you felt. You reached for the key in your back pocket before unlocking both brothers. Sam slowly stood up, hesitantly reaching for his gun. You stepped forward as he raised it, pressing your forehead against it and closing your eyes.

Dean watched the two of you for a moment, noticing both Sam’s pained expression and your relieved smile, before he was unable to watch and forced to turn away.

Sam took a deep breath, hands shaking.

You quietly whispered to him, “Thank you.”

From outside the building, a single gunshot was heard, followed by the sound of someone falling to the floor and Sam’s anguished cry as he realized what he had done.

[bazzledazzled]

Chai Tea

Description: Alyce fic written for @insomnialexwriter​ for Christmas. Coffee Shop/Supernatural AU

Pairing: Alyce

Warnings: Angst, fluff

Word Count: 3k

The tray wobbled in my grip, the tea cups clattering. My apron was already stained with hot chocolate, tea, coffee, and somehow cupcake frosting. To say my first day of work was not going well would be an understatement. It was a disaster. 

I tripped over my own two feet at least twenty times, causing my tray to topple onto the hardwood floors of the cafe. I broke at least ten cups and saucers and I’m pretty sure my manager is thinking about firing me on the spot. My hands shake as I pour a cup of coffee, spilling some on my hands. I intake sharply, quickly putting the coffee pot down and running my hand under cold water, wiping the counter. The door dings, signaling that someone else has walked into the door.

“Be there in a sec,” I say, drying off my hand. I finish pouring the coffee and call out the name for it, not bothering to serve it to the stupid table. I’m alone out here and I feel overwhelmed.

I go to the cash register, setting it up for another order.

“Hello welcome to 12:42 may I take your order?” I look up and my eyes connect with beautiful brown ones and my breath catches. They push their hair out of their eyes, looking up at the menu and I wonder what the little flip my heart’s doing is.

“I’ll have the… chai latte with honey,” they say with a smile. A blush spreads across my face and I gulp.

“Is that for here or for to go?” They think for a moment before saying, “For here.” I fumble to grab the cup and I set it up to make it. I punch in the numbers and say in a shaky voice, “That’ll be three dollars and ten cents.” They fish money out of their pocket, their purple hair falling over their face again. I can’t look away from them.

“Keep the change,” they say, holding out a five dollar bill. I gulp and take the money, squeaking slightly when my hand brushes theirs. They walk off and head to a table, pulling out a laptop and typing rapidly and looking like they’re doing some pretty intense stuff. I then remember that I have a tea to make and I scramble for the ingredients, bumping my head on the counter when I get a gallon of milk from the fridge. I huff, sitting on the floor and questioning my existence.

I finally manage to get the tea perfect and I set the cup on my tray, walking towards the customer from earlier. They look up and smile, causing me to stumble.

Everything after that seemed to go in slow motion. I tripped over the untied laces of my converse decorated with a bunch of fandom junk and the tray flies forward, dumping the tea on the mysterious person. I fall into them, both of us sprawled out on the booth. I gasp, scrambling up, willing myself not to break down in tears.

“Oh my gods I’m so sorry I’m super clumsy I didn’t mean to—“ They laugh.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay… Candyce,” they say, checking my name tag. I blush. They look around.

“Are you here alone?” I nod slowly. They huff.

“Of course you are. Look it’s okay, it’s okay.” I rub my eyes.

“It’s just my first day and I don’t know what to do—“ I hiccup and they put their hand on my shoulder.

“Hey it’s okay. I’ll help you clean up the mess.”

“No-no you don’t need to—“

“But I want to. The names Alex,” they say with a smile. My heart flutters the tiniest bit.

After a long moment of extremely flustered behavior, we pick up the broken cup and saucer and clean up the tea. Alex talks to me, calming my nerves, saying how they like my Hamilton t-shirt and my converse. I blush and slowly start to talk to them about my many fandoms. As it turns out, they have many of the same ones and I grin widely, going off and talking about fan theories and how I write fanfiction. They say they do to, but it’s on hold for their novel. I sneakily ask to have a spoiler, but they refuse to give it.

“It has to be a surprise,” Alex says. I sigh.

“Mmkay.” I finish out my shift and they stay, surprising me slightly. I figured they’d leave after they finished their tea that took twice as long to get to their table as it did to make. Before I knew it, I was starting to close up shop, yet they still sat there.

“Hey uh you kinda should get going…” I say to Alex, who’s the only person in the cafe. They look up.

“Hmm?”

“It’s getting late…” Alex looks outside.

“Shoot my parents are going to be mad.” They gather their stuff, shoving it in their bag and I turn a rag in my hands, nervous. They smile at me.

“Are you working here tomorrow?” I hesitate and nod. They grin.

“Well then I’ll catch you tomorrow?” I gulp and nod.

“Awesome.” They give me one last smile, then rush out the door, shrugging on their backpack. I may be swooning but I’m not entirely sure.

I start to wipe off the tables, putting the chairs up. I’m almost finished cleaning up when a chair falls off the table, causing me to jump. I take a deep breath, walking over to it and putting it back on. As I do another chair falls. I furrow my brow and put that one up as well.

Then they all fall, causing me to yelp. My eyes go wide and I turn to the doors. They slam and a jar of sugar crashes on the floor, shattering. I run to the doors, adrenaline rushing through my body. I push at them and they don’t open. I gasp and the bookshelves start to shake, books falling on the floor. My breathing starts to get heavier and I bang on the doors.

“HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!” I keep yelling until my voice is hoarse, but nobody seems to hear me. I turn around seeing a glowing figure. I don’t know why but he vaguely looks like Simon Snow. I furrow my brow.

But I don’t get a chance to solve the mystery because a book flies forward and hits me straight in the face. The doors behind me open as I fall against them and into someone’s arms. I look up.

“Al...ex?” Then, I pass out.

When I wake up I hear beeping and I bolt up. I’m met with Alex again and I gasp. They push me back down, telling me to calm down. I rub my head.

“What… What happened?”

“You hit your head. I heard you screaming and I thought someone tried to attack you. But when I got there nobody was there.” I scratch my head, trying to remember. I groan. Today has been awful.

Alex sits on my bed, taking my hand. It’s completely strange, having this stranger hold my hand, but it’s oddly comforting.

“Are you okay.” I take a deep breath.

“I think so? I mean I have an awful headache but yeah.” They smile a little and I smile back.

“What happened?” I rub my eyes, wondering if that’s what I actually saw.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I did.” They smirk.

“Try me.” Taking a deep breath, I explain what happened, my hand instantly tightening on theirs as my heart pounds with the thought of it.

“Is it just me or did you just become the introduction of a Supernatural book?” I gasp, a grin spreading across my face.

“You’ve watched Supernatural?” Alex nods, grinning widely. It takes me a moment to process the fact that we like the same book series, and even longer to process what she just said.

“You don’t think—“ I don’t even have to finish. She knows what I’m going to say.

“Definitely.” I run my hands through my hair, gasping.

“Holy freaking schnitzel.” My head hurts. Does this mean that angels and demons and spirits are all real?

There’s a knock at the hospital door and me and Alex jump. The doctor walks in.

“Everything seems to be good here. The FBI are here to ask you a few questions.” I turn to Alex and Alex turns to me.

“Agents Jones and Winchester,” a voice says, walking through the door. I slap Alex’s arm excitedly, just to make sure she is seeing what I’m seeing.

“Would you care to explain the scene to us, Miss. Rayburn?” I gulp, then explain what happened. They nod along, exchanging looks every so often. Alex perks up when I describe how the ghost looks.

“Wait Simon Snow? As in, from Carry On?” My jaw seems to drop even further.

“Okay we need to have a full on conversation about fandoms ASAP.” Alex laughs in an adorable way and I blush. Sam coughs and then we seem to remember that they’re still there. Then we seem to remember that they’re freaking Sam and Dean Winchester.

“Oh my gods you guys are real,” I burst out. They furrow their brow. Then a look of understanding passes across Dean’s face.

“Supernatural.” We both nod, looking at them with admiration and amazement. Then, before we can stop ourselves, questions and questions pour from our lips, all about ships and theories. They look like they feel awkward.

“Uh we have to go….” And then they go.

A few weeks later I was out of the hospital like nothing happened. My parents were a little more protective over me, but for the most part things stayed the same. I had a few weeks off of work, for recovery and stuff, and I found myself grow closer and closer to Alex. We seemed to hang out almost constantly, laughing and giggling about fandoms and ships and weird things going on in school. We liked to bake cookies and scones with each other, our elbows accidentally knocking together a few times on the tight counter space.

Our first sleepover was spent pointing out everything wrong with every movie adaptation of a book ever. To start, of course, we had Percy Jackson.

“Even Percy now doesn’t have a shot at defeating Annabeth in a duel,” I say, shoving kettle corn in my mouth. I reach my hand into the bowl the same time as Alex does and our hands brush, causing me and them to blush. We quickly turn away from each other.

“Exactly,” they say, focusing their eyes intently on the screen. Meanwhile I’m looking into their face.

“Like you can’t just learn how to wield a freaking sword that fast Percy. I don’t care if your the son of Poseidon.” That causes me to giggle and Alex to turn to me, smiling shyly.

“They messed up these movies really badly.” I nod, grinning toothily. “That’s the way of the fandom.”

Halfway through the extreme movie marathon my eyes start to flutter. I don’t know when, but somehow me and Alex started to move closer together, arms wrapped around each other and cuddling. I feel safe and warm there, like nothing can hurt me, no monster or ghost or anything. Sure, the danger seems to have passed, Sam and Dean are gone, but that doesn’t mean that the dreams stopped. I keep remembering being trapped in that room, trying to run away but having nowhere to go.

Alex’s hands softly run through my hair and my breath catches. “You tired?” They ask. I gulp, trying to calm my racing heart and nod. They start to move away and I clutch onto their arm.

“Where are you going?” I ask. They smile a little.

“I know you’re the host, but I’m taking the couch.” I gulp and the words escape my lips before I can stop them.

“Stay.” Something I can't put my finger on passes over their face, and a small part of me hopes it’s the same adrenaline of this weird feeling going through me, but the tiny voice in the back of my mind whispers, “No homo.” I sigh.

They lay back down inches from me, our faces so close that I can feel their warm breath on my face. I blush even more. They’re eyes scan mine.

“Candy… you okay?” Everyone calls me that, but it seems extra special when she does.

“What do you mean?”

“Since the attack.” I take a deep, rattling breath.

“As good as I can be.” They run their hands through their hair.

“Chuck I should’ve stayed.”

“And done what? Fight the air?” They huff.

“I don’t know.” Their eyes flick away from mine and I grab their hands just because it feels right.

“It’s not your fault. Plus the ghost is gone and we’ll never have to worry about it again.” They sigh and nod, smiling at me. That’s when three words slip out of their mouth. They ring in my ears all night.

My eyes flutter open slowly, feeling heavy. My eyes go to the clock, wondering what time it is. It’s three am. I rub my eyes.

Everything is silent and still, the wind outside being the only thing making any noise. I sit up, debating on going back to sleep.

That’s when the TV turns on. The weird thing is, this time it’s on Netflix, playing Voltron. I scramble for the remote, trying to turn it off, but it doesn’t turn off. I get up and try to manually turn it off, but it doesn’t work.

Then, like some horror movie I’ve never seen, a figure starts to emerge from the TV and I yelp, waking Alex up.

“What’s going on?” They say, their eyes locking with mine before they even move. I’m pale and I can’t move and they rush towards me, pulling me into a hug. “What’s wrong?” I point to the figure. It now seems to have taken the form of Lance.

“Lance?” Alex seems confused. Then the ghost or whatever it is turns towards us.

“Why did you kill me, Candyce?” he says. I whimper, confused. From my notebook, sitting on the floor, another one of them springs up, this one taking the form of Damon from Beyond the Pages, a book I abandoned years ago.

“Why did you kill us?” Alex pushes me behind themselves, brandishing a book. Everything is so confusing.

“Why do they think you killed them? They’re fictional characters.” I whimper, not knowing what is going on. We move back and I trip over the table. From the book Alex holds, Simon appears again.

“You killed us. Now we’re going to kill you.”

“WHAT THE CHUCK ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?” Alex screams, pulling me close. I think and I think long and hard. My eyes fall on my notebook. I gasp.

“What?” I grab Alex’s arm.

“They’re book characters I wrote fanfiction about. Fanfictions where I killed them.”

“Curse you and your insanely good angst fics,” Alex growls. I blush.

“They’re not that good…” They turn to me, their face completely serious.

“Yes. They are.” A lamp flies up and hurtles towards us before I even have a chance to protest. I only dodge it because Alex pulls me to the ground, blushing slightly.

“Sorry I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Now I’m blushing.

“They have to be coming from somewhere,” I say as a new one starts to take form. They look an awful lot like Castiel, yet another character that I’ve killed through heart throbbing fanfiction.

“The journal!” Alex shouts.

“What?”

“That’s where you write all the stories.” My eyes light up.

“You go get the salt. I’ll get the journal.”

“But—“ I don’t listen to their protests. I creep behind the couch, snatching up my notebook. A ghost races towards me and I yelp as it knocks me to the ground. I look around for something to hit it with and my hand flies to my iron necklace. I quickly take it off and hit the ghost with it. It vanishes and I scramble to my feet. I race up the steps where Alex is in the kitchen with the salt and a lighter. We race outside, the cold biting our faces. I throw the notebook on the ground and Alex salts it.

The ghosts come out into the backyard and I hear my dog barking.  Alex takes my hand.

“Ready?” I nod and they light the match.

But before they can burn the book, a ghost attacks Alex from behind, their hand hitting a rock.

“Alex!” I shreik. I see blood of and tears well in my eyes. A ghost lunges for me and I close my eyes, wondering if this is how I die.

Then I hear gunshots and they back away. I open my eyes to find Sam and Dean.

“Wha—“

“BURN THE DAMN NOTEBOOK!” I scramble for the lighter and set the notebook aflame. One the ghosts disappear I scramble to Alex.

“Alex!” I scream, my voice hoarse. I don’t know how to find their pulse and I don’t know if they’re breathing. I start to fear the worst as I bury my face in they’re shoulder, holding them tightly. They gasp and relief floods over me.

“Candy—“ they say. I pull them closer, my body shaking with a sob.

“Gods Alex you scared me.” I nuzzle them and they smirk slightly.

“It takes more than that to kill me, Candy.”  

A few months later I was still working at 12:42. Alex seemed to visit everyday I was working, making sure I was okay and tipping me a generous amount. I begged them to stop, but they never did.

It was Christmas. Snow was falling outside, painting the scene in a beautiful shade of white. We were busier than ever and I hardly had time to talk to anyone, but today was one of our slow days and I was hanging up Christmas decorations when Alex walks through the door, looking like a goddess as she shakes the snow from her hair and beanie. They look up at me on the ladder.

“Christmas decorations. Sweet.” I smile.

“‘Tis that time of year.” They smile back and go over to the decoration box, rummaging through it.

“Can I help?”

“Sure.” Soon all the decorations are up and I turn to Alex, a cheesy grin on my face that only comes when I’m around them. Quickly, before they can change their mind, they hold up something.

“Mistletoe,” they say quickly before kissing my cheek. I go as red as the berries on the mistletoe.

“You missed,” I murmur

“Huh?” Then I pull them into a kiss.

[aion-rsa]

How Queer Romance Red, White, and Royal Blue Hopes For a Kinder America

http://bit.ly/2VtjJJ4

The West Wing meets Jane Austen in this queer political romance set in an alternate universe where Trump was never elected.

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It's often exhausting to live in contemporary America—and not, generally, the fulfilling kind of exhausting, either. We spend our days at bullshit jobs (she writes, affectionately) making less money than we need in order to get out of debt, contributing to crowdfunding campaigns to pay our friends and colleagues' medical bills, and then we go home and consume stories about how dark an imagined past was or an imagined future will be, pretending the story we're consuming isn't actually about the dystopian world we're currently living in.

I don't think the world is without hope, joy, community, or love—far from it—but I do think nihilism, violence, social isolation, and the abuse of power tend to be the realities of our modern world that are most often reflected back at us through popular culture.

read more: Best New Non-Western Fantasy Epics

Grimdark storytelling is way overrepresented in our pop culture to the exclusion and deprioritization of other, kinder aspects of contemporary life. It actively affects how hopeful we are about our current world and our potential futures, which actively affects how motivated (or not) we are to engage with working towards that future. That's why it's so worth celebrating when pop culture puts something softer in our paths...

Red, White, and Royal Blue is a queer romance novel about the relationship between the U.S.'s First Son and the Prince of England, set in a fictional alternate universe where the president is a divorced-mom Texan Democrat elected in the 2016 Presidential Election. (Can you imagine? Within the pages of this book, you don't have to.) It is emotionally-engaging, politically-soothing, and a whole lot of fun.

Our protagonist is Alex Claremont-Diaz, the brilliant half-Mexican son of his mom the President, who is up for re-election. Unlike his sister, Alex has always seen his politically successful family as a fortunate stepping stone to his own ambitions: namely, his own career in politics, through which he hopes to make the country and world a more just, inclusive place. #goals

read more: Check, Please! — The Queer Hockey Bros Comic You Should Be Reading

The other main character in Red, White, and Royal Blue is Henry, the seemingly stuffy, unfeeling Prince of England. Alex has hated Henry since he met him a few years prior at the Olympics (as you do), but, when the tension between the two causes a PR problem during a royal wedding, they are forced to pretend to be best friends for the 'gram.

This isn't a straight-forward "coming out" story (if that even exists). While Alex is initially surprised by his bisexuality, he doesn't freak out (much) about his attraction to men. He's never afraid that his family will disown him, so much as he is worried how the public knowledge would affect his mother's chances at re-election. As she is running against a bigot with a cornucopia of abuses of power in his history, the stakes are quite high. 

Much of the angst Alex has surrounding this development in the understanding of his own sexuality is about the identity of the man in question—a person he kinda, sorta thought he hated until five minutes ago—rather than that man's, um, manhood. 

The relatively quick progression of Alex and Henry's physical relationship is perhaps one of the most notable differences in telling this story about twenty-something adults for the new adult field rather than about teenagers under the YA book umbrella, the latter of which is often where queer romances tend to be most frequently championed.

read more: Best New Young Adult Books

Alex and Henry are two characters who are much more comfortable in their sexuality, generally, compared to teen characters. While neither character has expansive relationship experience, in no small part due to the added pressure and scrutiny that comes from their fame, they both have a fair amount of dating (in Alex's case) and sexual experience (in both of their cases).

When Alex and Henry first admit their attraction to one another, there is very little waffling in terms of their sexual relationship. It gets steamy and, as they spent more time together, finding time for clandestine hookups on both sides of the Atlantic, Alex realized that it's quite possible he has been misreading his intense feelings towards Henry for a long time. (Spoiler alert: he has been.)

In fanfic slang, if you speak that language, this is the Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Royalty, Fake/Pretend Relationship-ish AU with notes of Families of Choice and depictions of Anxiety that you've been waiting for. It pairs well with Netflix's Knock Down the House documentary, the wonderfully soft hockey bros comic Check, Please, Mackenzi Lee's The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, and Frank Turner—or all four! Make it a month of hopeful media. I dare you.

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This book made me cry—not because of the excellent, well-written romance at its center (which is both fun and emotionally rewarding), but because it imagines a world in which Trump was never elected, a world in which powerful men who have grown up in power respect and love women, a world in which America's soul is challenged and found whole.

The world of Red, White, and Royal Blue, as touched upon in the book's excellent author's note, is not a perfect one—"still believably fucked up, just a little better, a little more optimistic." When McQuiston began writing the book in 2016, she said it was meant to be "a tongue-in-cheek parallel universe," but, as our sociopolitical cycle progressed, it became an "escapist, trauma-soothing, alternate-but-realistic reality." Oof. 

read more: The City in the Middle of the Night Review

It's hard to truly understand the ways in which most mainstream storytelling is not made for you until you find a story that feels like it is made for you. Red, White, and Royal Blue references Jane Austen, quotes Alexander Hamilton's love letters to Eliza and John Laurens, and obviously thinks Doctor Who is cool. It is a millennially-minded West Wing meets Jane Austen meets the Hallmark Channel meets something much more diverse than anything that has ever aired on the Hallmark Channel. 

Most of all, Red, White, and Royal Blue is incredibly hopeful and empathetic, which is a perspective I am actively trying to hold on to in a world that seems to always be finding new, terrible ways to try to steal it from me. Reading this queer romance political AU felt a bit like coming home: a safe, familiar, cozy place to rest my head for a while. Red, White, and Royal Blue doesn't ignore some of the very scary realities of living in our world right now, but it hopes with everything it has nonetheless.

read more: Best New Science Fiction Books in May 2019

Sometimes, it can feel like we punish ourselves with the pop culture we make and consume, as if engaging with fun, hopeful, or kind storytelling is an irresponsible luxury we can't afford rather than a practice that makes us better equipped for dealing with life's complex, devastating, sustained challenges.

Yes, seeing the ways in which things are bad can be a helpful tool for both conversation and action, especially when grimdark storytelling has something important and specific to say, but it can also often make us feel like we are doing something when we are not—as if watching The Handmaid's Tale is the same thing as taking place in direct actions against institutional misogyny or actively supporting and believing the women in your life. As if watching consuming the "right" media makes us more moral.

I don't need fictional reminders of the ways in which our society is failing; it's all too clear in the world around me. What I do need from stories is hope that there are futures that look different from the grimmest parts of our present extrapolated out into various flavors of apocalypse. I need stories that hope engaging with real-world problems can make a difference, and call that hope something other than naive.

I need stories that fill me up with something other than anger, fear, and desperation, that offer possible solutions or at least sources of comfort in the face of solution-less problems rather than simply pointing out the harsh realities and stopping there, as if there is more skill involved in screaming your pain into the darkness than there is in finding love, healing, and empathy in spite of that pain.

read more: Why We Need The Expanse More Than Ever

"What I hoped to do, and what I hope I have done with this book by the time you've finished it, my dear reader, [is] to be the spark of joy and hope you needed," McQuiston writes in her author's note. Mission so very much accomplished, Casey McQuiston.

Red, White, and Royal Blue is now available to buy via Amazon or your local independent bookstore.

Kayti Burt is a staff editor covering books, TV, movies, and fan culture at Den of Geek. Read more of her work here or follow her on Twitter @kaytiburt.

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Feature Kayti Burt

May 15, 2019

Romance Books

Hopepunk

from Books http://bit.ly/30o3Szm

[jo-the-schmo]

Nameless

A/N: Sooooo, yeah this isn’t a hamilton fic. However! it does make references to him and his letters. This is actually a short story I had to write for my English class as an ‘end of the book’ assignment. The book is Uglies and it takes place just after the ending of the first book. If you haven’t read it, I would recomend it, it’s pretty good. But if you don’t want to read it but want to read this I will provide a short summary I wrote for Tayah to explain the events and give you what you need to know in order to understand what’s happening. 

Summary: So basically what's happening in the story is that in this world it's the future and when everyone gets to a certain age they get surgery to look beautiful, the main character Tally has to go out and find her best friend for the government because she ran away so she wouldn't have to get the surgery. We find out that there's a secret rebellion against the government because the surgery actually causes people to have different, more obedient personalities. The government finds out where Tally and the rebellion is hiding, kidnaps most of them, kills the love interest's dad and forces the best friend to get the surgery and all of this is Tally's fault. Some of the rebellion escapes and the leader creates a 'cure' for the personality change but they don't know if it'll work and the best friend won't do it so Tally turns herself in so that she can get the surgery and take the cure to make up for her crimes  

Wordcount: 3830

Warnings: Blood, angst, maybe gay??? I mean, it can be if that’s what you want (That’s kinda how I wrote it, depends on how you want it.) (it’s kinda gay)

Tags: @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit this is here since you want it my dude!! Senpai is awesome!

Nameless

Don’t think, just move. Don’t think, you need to keep moving. The sounds of the distressed patrol slowly faded from my mind, the obnoxious noises from New Pretty Town soon followed. Don’t think, just leave. The low hum of the hover-board beneath my feet was the only thing I could focus on. I’ll be back; I promise I won’t be gone for long. My cheek still felt hot from the scratch--if I didn’t know better, I would have thought the Middle Pretty used a hot knife when trying to stop me. Teeth grinding against each other, I kept going. Just get to the ruins, someone will be waiting. Grey structures were soon close to my field of vision. The varying sizes seemed almost unnatural, like there was some architectural hierarchy. Some buildings towered over the others, making them practically scream “Admit my superiority or rot!” And oddly enough that was precisely what they were doing, rotting. The smaller towers were breaking down faster than the taller ones, like they were being crushed under the other’s weight.

They were dying.

I felt no different, my world was just as corrupt and sad as these human walls. Everything was breaking, or was it already broken, and I just never saw the cracks forming until it was too late?

           Leaning back up to slow down my speed, I came to a stop. This is it, this is what everyone’s been fussing about. The edge of The Ruins loomed over me, making me feel like a lump of rubble ready to be sucked down into the broken pavement and sneaking soil. I stepped off my board and took a deep breath. Waiting was the hardest part, I’m not exactly the most patient person and the idea of this whole thing being a myth made my skin crawl. Before the feeling of regret could overcome me I saw a flash of red go past me. I threw up my arms instinctively, my muscles almost completely tensed up. Then I noticed, hair, red hair. It was a boy, probably a little older than me, yet he was still an Ugly. So… this place is real after all.

“Welcome to the revolution, kid. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” The boy called out, a bit too theatrically if you ask me.

“I’m looking for the Smoke. Are you gonna take me there or do I need to fill out the paperwork first?” I said, my voice as blunt as a rusty sword.

The redhead looked at me incredulously. “You don’t sound too happy. My name is Croy. And yeah, I’m here to take the new recruits to our base. Care to come along?” His voice slowly turned cold. The only response I gave was kicking my hover board back on. Croy stepped onto his own and he began to take off, I followed close behind.

“What’s your name, kid?” He spoke without looking back at me.

“Don’t call me kid, and the name doesn’t matter.”

He scoffed. “Alright, I’ll call you…” he glanced over at me, “Twigs,” Croy finally muttered. Typical. Names do not matter right now; what matters is getting answers. I can already tell Croy isn’t going to be the one who can give them to me.

Before I realized it, we had stopped in front of one of the many decaying buildings. We got off our boards and stepped inside. The interior was filled with equipment; it reminded me of the stuff at the doctor’s office, or at least what I saw from the few visits I actually went to. My light brown hair draped over my left eye - it was short and made me look more androgynous than what most people would like. A few people moved their gazes over to me but most didn’t seem to particularly care. “Hey Maddy, we got a new one!” Croy called out. An older woman turned to face us, for a moment I was caught off guard. She’s… a Middle Pretty? No doubt about that, but she looked like she was going over the edge. Her hair was disheveled and even though her skin was perfect it was still fairly obvious that she was exhausted. She smiled nonetheless though, walking over to me, a pretty smile stretched across her lips.

“Welcome to the Smoke.” Her voice was soft, it reminded me of a mother bird, a constant coo.

“Hey…” My voice came out quieter than I intended it to.

“What’s your name-” she began to speak but was quickly interrupted by Croy.

“I’m calling her Twigs. She wouldn’t give me a real name.” I rolled my eyes but the woman nodded, almost like she wasn’t surprised by that at all.

“Croy, you have to remember that not everyone is trusting right off the bat. A name is important, it identifies you, labels you, and it can mean security to some people.” She turned her big eyes toward me. “As long as you don’t have a name, you don’t have a face, and you don’t exist.” A chill ran up my spine as she spoke to me, but before I could fully wrap my head around what she was trying to tell me, a loud crashing sound erupted from a few feet behind me.

I quickly turn and saw an Ugly wearing an odd, patchy jacket. His eyes were red and puffy, it seemed familiar. Finally, he croaked out a coherent sentence that wasn’t blocked by his heavy breathing.

“Where’s Tally?” His voice was cold and sharp. Maddy turned to him with an obvious forced sympathy.

“David, she’s already left. Her and Shay both are in New Pretty Town by now. I’m sorry son but this was for the best.” She heaved a frustrated sigh.

“I can’t believe you’d let her go through with that! You should’ve stopped her!” He yelled back, it might’ve sounded angry if not for tears streaming down his face. Maddy looked over to me and spoke as calmly as she could force herself.

“Twigs… This is my son David… David, this is Twigs.” The way she said it almost reminded me of how my parents acted when I was a littlie and someone came over for a visit. It was that ‘Play nice we have to look presentable’ kind of thing. David stormed off, not bothering to say a word to me or look down at me for that matter.

The rest of my first day I spent getting acquainted with how everything was running. I was told how to get more supplies and allies and all of that other stuff I didn’t really care about. By the time night fell I was far from able to sleep. I’ll come back for you. I would never leave you behind. I made my way up to the top of one of what I now have decided to call the ‘People Buildings’. I wasn’t the only one there however, if the sniffling and weeping didn’t give him away, the patches on the jacket sure did. It was David. I made quiet steps towards him.

“You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent.” I quoted these words, they were old but they meant something. It was really rare for us to learn about the people before the Rusties. I liked the history and came upon that quote, I always thought that it was oddly relatable for being so old. I honestly could’ve gotten into a lot of trouble if they had found out I taught myself about that stuff, by hacking into the systems no less but I wish I knew more. The first paragraph was always my favorite, but there were always certain lines that entertained my thoughts from time to time. She loved that letter, I found it just before she went to get the surgery. She told me it was the sweetest thing in the world and that I better recite it to her the second I got to New Pretty Town myself. David perked his head up and faced me with a confused expression.

“Excuse me?” He stated while using his sleeves to dry his tears.

“It’s a quote. That person that you talked about earlier, Tally, she stole into your affections and now she’s gone. The guy who said that, he was really far away from the person he was talking about. He was before the Rusties and they had to send messages to each other to stay in touch.” I made sure not to mention that the person the man was writing to apparently died before they could see each other again. I took a seat next to him and sighed, my emotions finally catching up with me. “I’m assuming she went to turn pretty…I’ve heard about the lesions from your people…” I bit my bottom lip, anger trying to seep out of my pores.

“She didn’t even say goodbye to me…She doesn’t even want to be pretty!” His voice kept cracking, he wasn’t too far off from how I felt. She’s gone, I need to bring her back to me.

“I understand, you feel trapped, like it’s your fault that they’ve changed. Because you weren’t good enough for them to want to stay the same. Even if you know logically that it isn’t true, you still feel like that.” That was the first time I had admitted to myself what I was feeling, loss, self-loathing, disgust. But knowing how to describe that feeling did not help me feel better at all. Didn’t want to be pretty? I decided to ask what he meant by that.

“She went so that we could test a possible cure for her friend, Shay. I told her not to but I guess she didn’t listen.” That word, cure.

“Wait! There’s a cure? You guys know how to fix the lesions?” I couldn’t believe it, I was hoping that they were working on it, not actually have it! This is great! I can save her! I looked over to David who at the very least looked a little better than he did earlier. “Do you think it’ll work?” I finally asked.

“We aren’t really sure yet, it hasn’t been tested, that’s why Tally left.” His voice was somber but at least he stopped crying. I need to go back for her. A wide smile stretched across my face.

“David, I have a small favor to ask.”

“What is it?” He questioned.

“I have a…friend, who had the surgery a couple months ago. She needs that cure. I can go to New Pretty Town and get her if you keep watch, the security has doubled around that place.” He seemed hesitant at first but once I told him there may be a chance that we can find Shay and Tally he seemed a bit fonder of the idea.

“If she was here for a little while, it would take a few days for them to actually perform the operation. They’ll probably want to make sure they don’t mess up.” I explained to him, he was actually happy that there might be a chance to get to her before the surgery even happened. The sun was setting by the time we finally had a proper plan as to what to do. We decided that getting Tally and Shay would be phase two of the operation, we had to make sure that this was even possible before we could get them.

When twilight began to fade away we snuck out of the ruins and used our hover boards to make our way to New Pretty Town. I was only gone for a day and I’m already heading back. It’s been months since I’ve seen you. I’m gonna get you out of there and fixed! My heart raced as we inched closer to our destination. The fireworks were already going off like crazy, not only that but the guards were making the whole place pretty secure. This was unusual, even for them. I shrugged off the thought and turned to David as we came to a stop.

“Ok, I have a plan. Follow my lead and do exactly as I do. Got it?” I said a bit frantically. He nodded as I stepped off my board and made sure that my crash bracelets were still working. Looks like this should work… I grabbed the hover board and threw it up and past one of the few blind spots that the patrols had. I quickly ran after it, my crash bracelets, thinking I fell off, picked me up to my board as I dropped down into the grounds. David soon followed my example and repeated what I had done, a bit more gracefully however. To keep precautions, we hurriedly hid behind a couple of benches, Pretties walked past us, too bubbly and happy to even notice our existence.

“Alright, do you know where we can find this friend of yours?” David asked anxiously.

“Last time I talked to her…after the surgery she said that she’d been hanging out with some group, they wear masks. So, if we can find the masks, we find her.”

We moved along with the shadows to be as invisible as possible. It might be hard to believe but we stick out like a pair of sore thumbs in this place. It didn’t take us long to come across a mass-no a parade of people wearing decorative masks. Some looked like animals, some looked like they were trying to mimic flowers, some were simply just pleasing to the eye but a few of them looked oddly disturbing. Don’t ask why, I’m not even sure myself, but they gave me an eerie feeling. “Alright, she should be somewhere in there, if we go in one of the alleys up ahead we can hide and keep an eye out for her.” This was as best of a plan I could come up with.

We went up a few streets until we were 10 or so minutes a head of the pace of the group of mask wearing Pretties. Hiding in a narrow alleyway we waited for them to come through. It was loud and took some time for me to pick her out of the crowd. But finally I could see her hair, it was the one thing that the doctors said they would keep or at least make as similar as possible. It was a calming caramel like shade of brown, you certainly didn’t see it very often. Her mask was one of the weird, creep inducing ones but I ignored it as best I could. Throwing myself into the crowd for a second I grabbed her arm and pulled her with me back into the alley. She protested at first but once we stood in front of each other she could clearly see my face.

“Addie!” I jumped into her arms excitedly once she got over the shock of me saying her name after all these months. She was too confused for a second to say anything but once she regained her composure she smiled at me, it was even more beautiful than any of the other Pretties could hope for. Cold in my profession, warm in my friendships, I wish, my Dear Sky, it might be in my power, by action rather than words, to convince you that I love you.

“It’s...It’s really you! Oh my God! I can’t believe you’re here Short-stack!” She spoke so happily I almost forgot why we came here. I haven’t been called “Short-stack” since she left. It felt strangely great to hear it again. She pulled off her mask and took a deep breath, I wanted to hug her again and never let go...But we had a mission at hand. I shall only tell you that ‘till you bade us Adieu, I hardly knew the value you taught my heart to set upon you.

“Addie, listen to me okay? I am your best friend. You know that I would never in a million life times lie to you, right?” I spoke slowly and calmly. Her big, golden eyes stared down at me. She was actually a little taller than I remembered her.

“Of course I know that! We’ve been together from the beginning.” She paused, cocking her head to the side slightly. “Is something wrong?” Hearing her sound so happy and yet so concerned made me want to cry.

“Yes. There is. I know this sounds crazy, but the reason I haven’t gotten the surgery yet is because I ran away. I’m in that rebellion that’s been spreading like wildfire and- “

She interrupted me. “Why would you do that? You were supposed to come and be with me!” She almost sounded sad. I had to keep going. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done.

“The doctors, they’re lying! The surgeries aren’t just to make you look pretty, but also to make you think differently. I went to The Smoke because I wanted to help them find a cure. It turns out that they already have one! Come with me! We can get you back to your old self and-” At this point I had actually started to cry. It was so hard for me to tell her all of this, all she ever wanted was to be perfect. Why didn’t she know she was already perfect? Did I not tell her that enough? Her eyes narrowed a bit.

“Whoa, slow down there, take a deep breath. You’re gonna give yourself one of those panic attack things the teachers said used to plague people’s minds!” She didn’t realize how many of those things I think I’ve already had. Nevertheless, I did what she told me to do. Her voice by itself was enough to make me calm down a bit. Once she saw that I was a little better she spoke up again. “That really is crazy. Are you serious? They change the way you think? I knew that those rumors have been going around, but are you sure?” I understood her uncertainty but I didn’t have much time. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind, and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments, and to keep my happiness independent on the caprice of others. David was getting nervous. Who knows how much time we had left until someone realized we’re here?

“Look Twigs, I know that it’s fun seeing your old “friend” but we really need to hurry up.” He reminded me. I needed to make this quick.

“Addie, please! I need you to come with me, you have to trust me on this!” I tugged on her arm, but she pulled it away from me. You should not have taken advantage of my sensibility to steal into my affections without my consent. Her eyes, they didn’t look right. They were darker. They burned more than the scratch on my face did. I hadn’t noticed it until that moment, a tube. There was a thin tube connected to her mask. Behind her was a small canister, the tube was connecting to it. Gas? Why is there a gas canister attached to her mask? And why is that thing strapped to her back like that? I couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked back up at her. She looked angry. I’ve never seen a Pretty mad before. It was terrifying. “A-Addie? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” My voice shook. Why am I so scared?

“You will not take me. This is not protocol. You are breaking the law. We will not hurt you unless we have to.” Her voice changed too. It was cold and sharp. She’s never sounded like this before. David tried to pull me towards him but I shook him off. But as you have done it and as we are generally indulgent to those we love, I shall not scruple to pardon the fraud you have committed, on condition that for my sake, if not for your own, you will always continue to merit the partiality, which you have so artfully instilled into me.

“Addie? It’s me…Short-stack? Remember me?” I took a step towards her. Please don’t do this to me…not you. Please don’t leave me. I reached out to her, maybe if I could help her remember she’d come with me. My fingertips reached the edge of her hair, it wasn’t her real hair after all. Then it hit me. Pain. Sharp. Burning. Blood. Stomach. But both for your country’s sake and for my own I wish the enemy may be gone from The Smoke before you arrive and that you may be obliged to return and share the fortunes of your old friends.

I looked down, her hand was embedded in my abdomen. I wanted to scream but the words wouldn’t even come up. She retracted her hand, it was covered in blood. My blood. “Message from Special Circumstances: Tally Youngblood cannot be saved. The Smoke will burn.” Her voice was just as frozen and methodical as it was before. This carries with it an air of preference, which, though we can all truly say, we love your character, and admire your military merit, cannot fail to give some of us uneasy sensations. But in this, my Dear Sky I wish you to understand me well. The blame, if there is any, falls wholly upon Special Circumstances. I fell back slightly, David quickly picked me up. Things flashed by me, sounds were everywhere at once. Hover board hums alongside fireworks. Addie’s voice, it’s so pretty, her old voice.

When I opened my eyes again it was just me and David, a little away from the ruins. His hand was pressing down on the gaping hole in my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding. He looked frantic, I was losing all the feeling in my body, fast. I’m sorry Addie. I couldn’t save you. Forgive me. My eyes were beginning to shut; I couldn’t stop it from happening. I anticipate by sympathy the pleasure you must feel from the sweet converse of your dearer self in the enclosed letters. I hope they may be recent. “Hey...Twigs…don’t…stay…eyes…” David’s voice was fading as I looked up and saw the People Buildings again. So…They really did drag me into the soil. Don’t worry Addie, take your time meeting me…I’ll wait an eternity for you… Then everything went black.

In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend. Adieu. The Smoke will live on. They will free us all. Twigs, Short stack, whatever you knew me as, none of that matters. As long as I might one day see Addie again, that’s all that matters. Don’t stop, keep moving, I miss you already. My name was Sky Welding. But, at least to them, I will forever be nameless.