#in all honesty i'm probably going to delete this

[reshinless]

──── ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა day 3: rock my world !﹒⟢﹒

ᯓ★ ── . summ. in which you were offered a job by your highschool bsf, geto, to be the manager of their newest rockstar boy band cursed souls; but they're a little short of money this time.

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ director's note. bye not me deleting this the first time..

ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ ⊹ pairings. sukuna, suguru, and choso x gn!afab!reader separately + tgt

ᯓ★ ── . warnings. nsfw, filming, foursome, masterbation-ish.

"sugu— can we even.. are you even listening?!" you watch as your best friend geto simply chuckle at you furrowing your brows at him. "this is serious! and i'm concerned as your manager and as your friend." you crossed your arms, a subtle scoff escaped your lips.

he simply shrugged and leaned back into his seat. "look— pretty.. you shouldn't worry too much about it." tuning the bass guitar in his calloused palms, scars scattered across on his forearms. you can't believe you accepted this job..

"you two! come on, suggest something for funding your next concert. this is for you guys, not me." the loud, blaring sound of music plays outside, "and 5 minutes 'till you guys go onstage. and take it seriously this time, 'kuna." you glance over to choso, and sukuna who're getting ready to perform in front of their fans.

"yeah yeah, whatever we know." sukuna simply scoffed at you, picking up his electric guitar and throws the two drumsticks into choso's hands. "right. we'll do our best, don't worry." a breath of relief exits your throat.

after a long duration of time, of coffee and napping— seems as if they finally finished, waving off to their fans and walking backstage. "great job, guys. but we still haven't figured out a stable source of our money. or at least we aren't getting any revenue. what do you think will be our solution to that?"

sukuna was the leader of the 3 person band— claiming the title of most biased among the trio as well. and understandably as well, he certainly had a charm to himself. and definitely looked like he could treat you right (in bed). one time when you were leaving your apartment complex, you spotted sukuna an apartment away. he just hadn't recognized you in the uniform you used today... he was just waiting at a different door.. he lives here?

he walked inside, hands still in his pocket. you shrugged it off, not thinking too much of it. until you see the next day you leave for manager work, your neighbor is limping the next day.

it was quite similar to the time you ran into an old classmate, briefly watching her as she went home after you drop her off; but.. seeing suguru there wasn't something you were expecting.

it looked like he took his.. shirt off.. and headed off to where she described her bedroom to be. huh.. okay. probably a regular occurrence. but maybe what you saw a week later is a shock.

neither did you expect the shock of seeing choso with someone in the bathroom of the party. you never took him to be the party kind in all honesty- but he was there, what can you do.

he was fucking a pretty girl so good she turned dumb! sounds familiar. her sounds echoed even into the mere hallway you roamed to while attempting to find another bathroom. you'd definitely be lying if you said it didn't turn you on.

especially when you realize he moans your name instead of the girl's when it comes to his sloppy thrusts. did he know you accidentally passed by? did he know that you saw the way you gripped her waist, and fuck her like it was you instead?

probably not.

"hey— are you okay? did you get hurt?" you offered a hand to your neighbor, as she almost slipped trying to get her parcel. "ah? i'm quite fine, don't worry. please.." you shook your head, ringing her arm around your shoulders, picking up the package for her, and helping her inside. "did you get injured? i didn't see you go out yesterday.."

you were puzzled at first, but piecing everything together.. sukuna definitely had a fling with her, she mentioned how she was stressed from work last week, and you can only guess who came over, and got her limping. (spoiler its sukuna.)

it could be the way choso groaned your name, even if it was just simple dry humping.. he moaned.. your name.. the loud plop plop plop of his cock definitely coaxed an orgasm out of the poor girl.

or maybe you remembered the scene of overhearing suguru fuck a girl so good in his room- against the door. you could feel how rough he was with her against the door. small mumbles of your name were hear- your name?

"hey. manager." you're snapped out of your thoughts. "huh?— what's wrong? did something happen?" you turn to him with your body fully. "i appreciate your concern, but we have to talk." he looked a lot more serious than before.

dragging you by your arm— his hold was a lot more gentle than you thought. you could feel his hand tense a little as he brought you to the side. "you said we needed.. a money solution since the agency isn't giving anything right now, right?" "mhm. you have one?"

huh. getting fucked by all 3 of them at the same time? on film? was not on your bucketlist but you weren't gonna complain. every other man that has tried to make you climax has failed. terribly.

"..you were really serious?" he walked over to you, placing a blindfold over your pretty little eyes. "mmm— you bet i was." sukuna who looks over to choso, "we'll give you a little surprise."

wherein you were sat up on the bed, your back getting supported by sukuna, who was massaging your chest, toying with your nipples, but mostly concentrating leaving marks all over your collarbone. as choso moaned, the thought of finally getting to eat you out got him hard as hell.

one hand on the soft plush of your thigh, and the other slowly stroked his cock, hearing the way you'd moan, slightly pulling on his hair. "mmf— 'k-kuna.. who's between my.. legs right now.." "how about you guess, pretty?"

one of sukuna's hands snake to work right above where choso was. eating you out had to be the best thing you've experienced as far as you were into the night.

as you massaged choso scalp, you could tell it was him (he's the only one who was really really silky smooth hair). "haah.. choso.. s'good— doing so good.." you whine as he continued to lap your juices up, not caring whether or not this was 'just for the money'. he's definitely going to make the most of it.

too late to back out, especially when sukuna has a leg over his shoulder, his cheek leaning onto your thigh, watching how pretty your expressions were, the way your entrance reacted to his length. "damn— sweetheart you're tight.." his nails marking crescent shapes on your waist, your body covered in sweat, he definitely was a lot better than those losers back in college.

"ahhn- suku- i can't take it!" you try to close your legs, but the strong grip on your thigh pries it back open. sukuna simply chortles "I know you can, c'mon.. for me?"

watching how your tummy would bulge, watching your hole take in all of his girth at once, loud squelching echoes in the room, looking over to the camera in the corner every now and then. as you were laid down on the mattress, your eyes were close shut until you started to feel hands over chest, rolling your nipples between their fingers. it was geto, as you felt that little scar on your body, you immediately recognized it, and eyebrows knitting in pleasure

"a-ahh— fffuck! t'much, wait!" the way they both were overstimulating you felt great, and overwhelming (in a good way) at the same time. feeling your body flush into his touch. "ah.. uhuh? what was that, pretty?" sukuna looked at you mockingly, teasingly putting one of his hands over your stomach to feel his cock inside you.

"but you don't really want me to stop do you?" you didn't give a reply, ashamed to admit that you really did want him to continue.

"good cumslut." "c'mon, you're taking me so well." are the compliments(?) you heard throughout the time that he fucked your hole, he lifted your hips a little to get a better view, the hand previously holding your other thigh trails over your clit, rubbing it at the same speed his strokes went at

"ssshit- f- ffuck i'm g'na-!" without warning, sukuna finally lands his last hit into you, penetrating your g-spot so well, making you arch your back in pleasure, about to fall over, before geto supports your back, still rubbing your chest, landing his head in the crook of your neck.

"such a dirty manager, aren't you?" he teases, still rolling your nipple around with his fingers, as sukuna grabbed your hips nearly the same time you came; feeling his load pump all up into your stomach.

you couldn't lie- if this wasn't for the money, you probably would've agreed anyway. especially when your long-term crush (being your best friend of 8-ish years) finally fucks you into seeing stars.

without much thought, he flips you over onto your stomach, while your ass is up in the air, letting your face sit in the cushions below you. the sound of skin slapping only made your hole throb more. feeling his thick length get sucked in by your pussy.

"s- sugu'!" you could barely speak of his name, let alone any other words than slow down.

the camera stopped recording awhile ago.

as you woke up the next morning, you received almost 5 calls, oh- another one just now- what's with all the calls?!

"yes- hello?" ... "yeah this is them." ... "my offer for the venue's been accepted?! oh my gosh! yeah totally! today will work out just fine!"

turns out they (sukuna, choso, suguru) had the money all along though :)

dunno i just wanted an excuse to write about 3 of them in one go

[barcaatthemoon]

the truth ii || jenni hermoso x reader ||

the aftermath of your breakdown.

jenni found herself walking back to the hotel soon after alexia took you away. mapi would probably kick her ass in the morning for everything, but jenni had been waiting for that moment to come. she had expected punches to come flying her way when she came back from mexico, but it seemed that you had kept quiet about the break up. you had even kept quiet when you had to stand by and watch as jenni buried herself in between the legs of various women to distract herself from you.

"ale, open up," jenni said as she knocked on your hotel room door. she had expected to find alexia watching over you for the night, and was partially shocked to see ona and patri there instead. "where is alexia?"

"she's getting some things for (y/n), who has been very chatty by the way," ona warned. jenni knew from the silence and tension radiating from patri that you told them what happened. jenni couldn't think of anything to say to defend herself.

"i'm sorry." jenni stood awkwardly at the door, hoping that one of them would let her in. "i didn't know what happened at first, but eventually it started to come back in bits and pieces."

"jenni, go back to your own room," alexia said as she pushed past jenni to get into your room.

"i want to talk to you," jenni said. alexia gave the younger players a nod as she put the thing she had bought for you in their arms. jenni stepped into the hallway with alexia, who lost her cool once the door was shut. jenni hadn't expected the outburst from alexia, who despite her poor temper, had gotten it under control as she came into the position of captain.

"how could you let me treat her like that? you knew what you did, jenni. we loved and supported you unconditionally, all the while you were the own cause of your sadness. if you would have gotten over yourself, the two of you could have been married by now!" alexia's voice was raised and her hands were fisted around the collar of jenni's shirt. jenni was backed against the wall, just waiting for the inevitable punch to come from alexia's fist. "they shut her out because we all thought she broke your heart and ran."

"i'm sorry," jenni apologized. alexia let go of her, unable to look at jenni for a second longer. "this is a mess, and it's all my fault. i don't know how to fix it."

"you'll be damn lucky if any of us can fix this. because of you, we all hurt her too. if you would have just told the fucking truth, none of this would have happened. you didn't mean any of that, not even in the message," alexia said. jenni froze at the mention of the voicemail. her face fell immediately.

"y-you heard the voicemail?" jenni felt like all of the air had been forced out of her lungs as alexia nodded her head. she had expected you to delete it. a night of drinking had coaxed jenni into venting to you about the breakup and all the things she had said. the only issue was that jenni was full of misplaced anger, and every terrible thing she felt about herself had been directed at you instead. "i didn't mean any of that about (y/n). it as about me, it was always about me."

"just get the hell out of here for now," alexia said. she was at a loss as to what she should have done. she knew that jenni hadn't meant any of that towards you, but that didn't change the fact that she had said it. nothing would ever be able to change the fact that she had said it, and despite the fact that alexia knew both of you still loved each other deeply, she wasn't sure that she was comfortable letting you go back to jenni after everything. it could only be a matter of time before she got fucked up again, leaving you to go through the whole ordeal once more.

…

slowly over the course of the next few days, the team seemed to warm up to you again. ona and patri had refused to leave your side, both of them apologizing for icing you out profousely. in all honesty, you knew that you should have been mad at them, but you were far too relieved to have friends again to care. even better than that, you were glad to no longer have to avoid your captain or the players you used to look to for guidance.

"i don't know if this is really your thing, but i was going to go with some of the girls to a candy store. i've heard a lot about it online, it's supposed to be pretty cool," mapi said as she stood awkwardly in front of your seat. you had eaten breakfast with ona, patri, and pina. it was nice, aside from the fact that jenni spent the whole morning in the corner by herself, not even sitting at a table. you had been mad at her, but you still didn't want her to be shut out by the team like you were.

"yeah, that sounds good. maybe you should ask jenni too, i bet she'd like to come," you tried to suggest. mapi gave you a look as she sat down across from you. "she's been your friend longer than i've been here. longer than any of you have known i existed. remember that i knew it was risky dating her with the age gap."

"yes, but jenni knows what she did. has she even apologized to you?" mapi asked. you shrugged. technically, there had been quite a few apologies, but none of them had been very good. jenni's sincerity had been wasted away because of your anger, and by the time you were willing to hear her out, she was mad at you.

"it's complicated, mapi. even after everything, i still love her and that's got to mean something," you reasoned.

"yeah, it means you're young. i'd stay away from her if i was you," mapi warned. you nodded in understanding, but chose not to say anything. mapi wandered off to gather up a few more girls to go to the candy store with you, which was when you took your opportunity to sneak back to your room. all you had wanted was a little time to process your thoughts, but nobody wanted to leave you alone.

you understood patri and ona being clingy, especially ona, but it was still rough on you. being alone had become your norm in germany, and while your contract was coming up soon, you weren't sure if you wanted to go back to barcelona. alexia had been pushing for it, which was part of why you had agreed to go out with mapi today instead. mapi had been the one to listen to you talk about the different club options silently yesterday. alexia had been loud, giving you a million reasons why barcelona was better than all of the other ones.

"shit, sorry. i can wait," jenni said as she walked over to the elevators. you didn't look over towards her, not even as the doors opened. you stepped inside first. jenni just stood there until you held the door open for her, indicating that you didn't mind her coming in too. "are you sure?"

"no, but you should come here anyway," you told her. jenni cracked a small smile as she stepped into the elevator with you. it was a little awkward at first, and even more so when you looked over to find her staring at you. "you didn't have to sit on the floor at breakfast today. i'm sure someone would have sat with you."

"not a chance. if we didn't have more games, i'd be back in mexico already," jenni admitted. she had planned on staying an extra couple of weeks in spain to spend with friends and family. you didn't like the idea of her abandoning that because of that happened with you. "i saw on instagram that you're going to be a free agent soon. i didn't think you had signed such a short contract."

"alexia wants me to come back to barcelona, but i'm not sure. i haven't told ona or patri that jona wants me back yet. god, she'll be so mad if i don't come back," you sighed. jenni cautiously reached out and placed her hand on your back. "you really made a mess of things for me."

"i made a mess of things for both of us, and i am so sorry. those things i said, i wasn't talking about you when i said them. i was talking about me," jenni admitted. your brows furrowed as you stared at her. "i hadn't thought much about how it would look at first, and then it was pushed into my head so i couldn't think of anything else. i never thought to ask you if you thought i was taking advantage of you. i mean, it all happened so fast at first."

"would you have ever asked me out if we didn't get drunk and sleep together?" you asked. jenni bit her lip awkwardly as she rubbed the back of her neck. "tell me. i want to hear the truth jenni."

"no, nothing would have ever happened if that first night didn't. i wouldn't have let you keep coming over, but i think i still would have loved you. i wouldn't have gotten nervous when you kissed me at alexia's, so i wouldn't have thrown up everywhere on the balcony. you wouldn't have had to drive me back to my place to take care of me, and i wouldn't have asked you to move in with me," jenni admitted. "i wouldn't have been 32 with a 19 year old girlfriend. we wouldn't have to tell the team, and patri wouldn't have ever fucking gotten in my face about us, so i wouldn't have come back home and yelled at you like that. so, i am sorry that i didn't have any fucking control, but i don't regret sleeping with you one bit."

"i don't either," you whispered. jenni glanced over at you with a small smile on her face. it didn't do much to hide the tears in her eyes or the way that her voice had been shaking as she recounted the things that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't slept with jenni for the first time.

"you should. you should be angrier with me than you are. i know that i can't stand myself when someone mentions you." jenni sank back into herself a little. you knew that jenni being upset and genuine about the breakup should have made you feel better, but it only made you feel worse. "thank you for listening to me."

"can i talk now?" you asked jenni. she nodded and you pressed the emergency stop button on the elevator. "sit down."

jenni did exactly as you asked, sliding down the wall to sit. you sat down across from her with your legs crossed. it was a habit that alexia and mapi got onto you for because it was truly terrible for your knees. jenni had never gotten onto you for things like they did, she had always gently corrected you, if she ever did. jenni liked being your girlfriend much more than she liked being an authority figure or mentor.

"if you would have talked to me about what was bothering you back then, i could have helped. i could have reassured you that you weren't taking advantage of me. i could have reminded you that every step of the way, i resisted through your persistence that it wasn't right. i could have reminded you that i wanted this so badly that i used to stay up all night trying to figure out how the hell i was going to be around you the next day," you told her.

jenni pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, balling herself up a bit. you could see the nervous little twitch in her fingers that she tried to hide. despite what you knew was in your best interests, you reached out and took jenni's hand. almost immediately, the floodgates opened up for her and she launched herself into your arms.

"i don't think that we can do this again jenni, i really don't," you sighed. jenni glanced up at you, her makeup now smeared all over your shirt. "mapi was right, i can't just take you back. i want to so badly, and i know that i love you, but i need to love someone else. i can't run back to you, jenni, i just can't."

"oh, okay," jenni said as she stood up. you sighed as you watched her flip the elevator switch again, despite you not really being done. you had more to say, but it was obvious in the way that jenni shook as she stood there that she was on the verge of breaking down. it wasn't your job to comfort her, so she wouldn't subject you to watching that.

she stopped the elevator at the next floor, which definitely wasn't hers. you watched her sprint away from you like she couldn't get away fast enough. you sighed as you stood up, waiting for the elevator to stop on your floor. when it did, you were met with ona and mapi standing there, waiting for you.

"hi guys," you said softly. you moved past them to get to your room to change your shirt, thankful that neither of them wanted to talk to you about it. they waited for you to get ready before the three of you left together, everybody else having gone out a little earlier.

"have you thought about where you want to sign to?" mapi asked. ona's head snapped over to look at you, and for a moment, you thought about strangling mapi in the middle of the busy street.

"no, i haven't," you hissed. ona cleared her throat, causing you to glance over towards her. "oni, i would have told you, bu-,"

"sign to arsenal, they want you. i think that you could really help them, and it'll be fun to play against you in the champion's league," ona told you. you were shocked that she wasn't begging you to come back to barcelona. you remembered the night you packed up your bags and left for germany, and the way that ona had sobbed on her knees begging you to stay.

"are you sure? ale said that barcelona would resign me," you told her.

"it's not the right time for you to come back to barcelona, not yet. who knows, maybe you'll find a cute girl in london. they go a little crazy for a spanish accent. i hear leila's having a lot of fun in manchester," ona teased. your cheeks burned with heat as you thought about what she was suggesting. mapi nudged you as well, obviously on board with this idea. "think about it, okay?"

"yeah, i will," you promised. in all honesty, you had thought about transferring to the wsl or even the nwsl. there were a couple of teams in america that had really wanted you, but there was no way that you'd ever run into jenni in england. she was too far away to excuse a casual visit, so maybe arsenal was just what you needed for closure.

[charmsandtealeaves]

Honesty Hour

So... my depression is at an all time high (or low? depending on how you look at it I suppose) and I've been battling to try keep on top of everything for a while but I'm still on struggle street. Which people may or may not have noticed.

I'm generally a private person on here except with some very close mutuals I consider my best friends, who have been helping me lighten the load in the last few months and for that I am truly grateful.

But in light of what's been happening in my personal life and in fandom... I've been putting way too much pressure on myself. The kind of expectations I wouldn't hold anyone else to. To be honest with myself... I need to slow down because I've been hovering over the delete button too much.

While I remain committed to the projects I'm currently a moderator for, I just can't take on any additional load.

That means you probably won't see me writing jilychallenges for the foreseeable future, although it kills me to break the streak I've had going for more than a year. The same applies to jilyweek and jilytoberfest, two events I usually look forward to writing for all year. The self-imposed pressure is basically crippling all my creative endeavours.

There are things that have disappeared from my AO3. They're not deleted, just hidden. Spitting Image is the only WIP I will be publishing for the remainder of the year. That doesn't mean it will receive regular updates, I just can't promise that. ~Ray

[homecomingvn]

Hey everyone! It's, uh, it's certainly been a minute.

If my brief return a few months ago and then radio silence yet again is any indicator, I'm sure most of y'all probably know where this is going.

HOMECOMING, as of now (and for the indefinite future) is going to be on hiatus, and maybe discontinued.

This project initially started out as a silly idea, a culmination of my love for the yandere vn community and the wonderful games it has created, and my original plot and cast of characters. In the beginning, I was trucking along, working on scripts, planning out routes, spending hours of research on coding and how to get this thing up and running. Not to mention, the attention my silly lil project garnered was a lot. At least to me. I've had a semi popular writing blog before, and was no stranger to inbox asks, and how they pile up, or the notes that popular posts can get.

I was far too ambitious in all honesty, and once the glitz and glamor of a new project wore off, I hit a massive wall. Hard. It seemed that to actually work on HOCO was much like pulling teeth - whether it was writing, drawing, or even *thinking* about it, I found myself sinking further and further into a imposter syndrome of sorts.

And well, I guess making this announcement is sort of proving it right.

Even so, I've always known when to take a step back, when to settle down -- and now, I'm just making it official. I owe you all at least that much.

The blog will be staying up - I have no plans to delete it in the slightest. I'll just log out of it most likely - I'll still be around on my personal tumblr, where I'll hopefully start being more active there again.

Nothing could have prepared me for just how much care, how much love you guys have shown HOCO - so much so, it's still hard to believe. All the fanart, the fanfic, the memes - they're all saved to my phone, in their own album. Thank you to all who have made amazing creations for my silly characters, as well as the countless asks y'all have sent - maybe one day I'll be able to answer all of them.

I really hope one day I can return to this project with fresh eyes -- I'm hoping real, substantial time away from it will help that process. There are other, personal projects that I've been doing that have helped that creative spark again, as well as indulging in traditional fandom activities, mostly fanart. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that my time in the Yan VN community is over for the time being, at least until/if I start working on HOCO again. (Or whenever I play the latest updates of 14DWY - I am the Leon Fan Club President after all ^^).

I've been rambling too long, and I think it's time to close this chapter for now. Thank you all again - and one last Henry for the road. They were there since the beginning of HOCO in 2019, so it feels right for them to be here at the end.

[paimonial-rage]

of hopes and prayers - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which alcohol brings about a moment of vulnerability

notes: a short deleted scene of bookkeeping!verse that takes place immediately after but it’s better than drinking alone with references to blasphemous assumptions

"You know,” you began as you walked to your homes, “I'm not sure if you heard that day, but one time I told Meng and the Ferrylady that Rex Lapis would never sit alone listening to tales of his life. After thinking about it more, I think I was a bit shortsighted to say that."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"They say that Liyue is 3,700 years old, but Rex Lapis is even older than that. He's one of the oldest gods in all of Teyvat. How many people do you think he's outlived? How many friends had he said goodbye to throughout his life? It wasn't as if he could leave either. He was the Geo archon. It was his duty to watch over Liyue, its people, the adepti... Being forced to see people come and go... I can't help but imagine how lonely of an existence that must have been. Dealing with that, maybe it would be easier to just reminisce alone. That way it would hurt less when they leave... at least, that's what I imagine.”

He chuckled.

“Did you perhaps come to that conclusion after our conversation this evening?”

You shook your head, “No, but I can’t say you didn’t play a part in it. Thinking about it makes me think… makes me hope…”

You bit your lip, lapsing into silence. There was a reason you brought this up. You had more to say, but… You cursed as you felt tears begin to gather at the corners of your eyes. You blamed it on the alcohol. Really, you shouldn’t be getting so emotional over such a childish thought, but with the moon shining beautifully in the sky and crickets chirping around you, honesty found itself coaxed to your lips.

“It makes me hope that he wasn’t alone. That he had someone at his side that he could talk to, not out of duty or respect, but as a friend. That someone was there for him on beautiful nights like this.”

You hated the way your voice wavered, unintentionally letting frustration weave its way between your words. It was stupid thought, a foolish thought of a naive mortal. It probably was an insult to project such immature emotions onto beings like the gods. And yet the more you thought about it, the more sorrow weighed at your heart. You felt a tear slip down your cheek.

“I would think so,” he replied.

It was such a simple statement from your companion, and yet as his shared sentiments sunk in, more tears began to flow. It was embarrassing, it was frustrating, you wanted to die. His words really shouldn’t have meant as much as they did. He was supposedly a mere mortal like you, but… The relief that filled your chest was almost impossible to bear. All you could do was cry.

A chuckle came as a finger brushed your tears away. You could barely hold his gaze for a second before you looked away in embarrassment. You felt your face begin to flush and your heart begin to beat. Did he really have to look at you like that? With amusement? With an undeniable warmth that turned his amber eyes positively molten?

“I’m sure he was very thankful for them too.”

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

[chelseeebe]

falling. | part 3. to maneater.

summary: steve harrington was the first boy you’d opened up to. so why can’t you stop fucking it up?

c/w: billy is in this and there’s mentions of sexual assault and non-consensual touching so read with caution!

it’s finally done!!!!! i don’t even think i like this but it’s here!!! tumblr deleted a whole chunk of writing so had to redo some parts n ik they aren’t as good as the original <\3 also falling - harry styles especially the first verse rlly got me going for this one.

read part one here. | read part two here.

there had been absolutely no contact with steve. he couldn’t even look at you.

now being shunned from sitting on the table your two groups had taken over, jessica very kindly tells you, ‘it’s probably better if you don’t come, y’know.. just until steve cools down.’

‘right.. guess i’ll see you later then,’ you slink out of the cafeteria, choosing to retreat to your car instead, away from everyone.

to be honest, you weren’t keen on sitting opposite steve anyway. the way his eyes looked at you, all sad and disappointed.

on the friday, you’re sat in your car, willing the next two hours of school to hurry up when your passenger door swings open and a large body collapses into the seat.

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

‘you looked lonely, thought i’d give you some company,’ billy states, throwing his legs on the dashboard.

you shoo his feet off, ‘i was fine on my own, actually.’

‘darling, i’ve seen you sat here every day this week, your boyfriend still mad at you?’ he smirks over at you.

‘he’s not my boyfriend, never has been, but yeah, no thanks to you,’ you hiss, though you can’t solely blame him.

‘you really were wasted, huh? don’t remember what happened after?’ he lights a cigarette, rolling down the window.

‘well no, but i’ve been told.. steve couldn’t wait to throw it in my face, trust me,’ you state, looking over at the curly haired boy.

‘why do you give a shit what he thinks? never had you down as someone that cared what little pretty boys like harrington think of you,’ he takes a drag.

billy was attractive, not in a steve harrington kinda way, more rugged and much less clean-cut.

you reach over and grab the cigarette from him, taking a long drag before handing it back.

‘i don’t,’ you lie, ‘could not care less.’

‘that’s why you’re hiding in your car is it, sweetheart?’ he chuckles, eyes narrowing at you.

‘just fuck off, billy,’ you roll your eyes, unprepared for his home-truths.

he laughs, ‘n leave you all alone? you sure you want that?'

even though it was billy, you had appreciated not being alone at lunch. your friend's hadn't exactly shunned you, but had decided that during lunch they'd rather preserve the peace with their new-found friendship with steve and his group.

'you can stay, as long as you shut up and don't mention steve again,' you fold your arms over your chest, twisting your body to look at him.

'i'm not making any promises,' he flicks the butt of the cigarrette out of the window, turning back to face you.

'there's a party tomorrow, i'll pick you up at eight,' he winks.

in all honesty a party was a welcome distraction to everything at the moment, though billy would not be your usual choice of friend but at this point you weren't left with much choice.

then there's a twinge of guilt in your stomach, thinking of steve and how a party and billy had actually been the sole reason steve now wasn’t speaking to you.

he was the first guy you’d let get that close since moving to hawkins a few years back. an inexplicable feeling bubbles in your stomach as you think back to your date. how you had felt so comfortable with him, telling him things not even your friends had gotten out of you.

and suddenly that awful impulsive urge rises from your stomach. the one that only showed itself when things were becoming too serious with someone.

so fuck it.

you spent the whole of the lunch break with billy, in your car. you hadn't ever pictured your friday to go this way, but you were just happy that someone was actually speaking to you.

you'd neglected to notice steve, who had finished basketball practice, standing just a few metres from your car, glaring at the pair of you sat talking in your car. a frown planted firmly on his face, utter disbelief at how you could even be sat with him after that damned party.

tommy notices steve staring, searching for the cause of his scowl, landing on your car. he swings his arm over his friends shoulder in sympathy.

'bro.. c'mon, let's just go,' he tugs steve away and back into the school.

-

billy is late, obviously.

he wasn’t like steve, ready and waiting for you before you’d even finished getting ready.

you turn your wrist to look at your watch.

8:11pm

you were about to head back inside when you hear the loud car engine pull onto your street, wheels screeching to a halt.

billy grins at you from the window, you roll your eyes and get into the car.

‘you’re late, lucky i was nice enough to wait,’ you pull your skirt down, as it had ridden up past your thighs. not unnoticed by billy.

‘sorry darlin’, looking good though,’ he eyes up your thighs.

‘just drive, i need a fucking drink,’ you stare, flipping him the middle finger.

he chuckles, speeding off down the street.

-

you’d told yourself that there was absolutely no way you were getting as wasted as last time. but here you were, head spinning as you stumble up to the stairs and into the bathroom.

billy follows closely behind, pushing his way into the bathroom, ‘not tapping out, are ya doll face?’

‘no, i’m fine.. just need a minute,’ you lean your hands on the counter, looking at your blurry reflection in the mirror.

billy presses himself against your back, hands finding your waist as you watch him grin in the mirror.

you spin your body round to face him, placing a hand on his chest to push him back, ‘i’m not fucking you billy,’ shaking your head.

‘oh c’mon, i’ve been waiting all night for this darlin’,’ his fingers begin to slide up your thigh, disappearing under your skirt.

‘no billy, i’m not doing that,’ you place your hand on his wrist, trying to move his hand.

his expression hardens as he leans his face closer to yours, his fingers now gripping your jaw, ‘you’re joking.. everyone knows what a little slut you are, what’s the problem? don’t tell me it’s harrington.’

his fingers tear a hole in your tights, latching onto the hem of your underwear and you freeze.

your eyes squeeze shut, ‘i just don’t want to have sex with you.. get off of me,’ your voice shakes.

he runs his thumb over your bottom lip before letting go, backing away from the counter, ‘whatever, you’re a little cock-tease,’ he walks out of the bathroom, slamming the door so hard the walls shake.

you sigh, wiping away the tears that had slipped out and rolled down your cheek.

you’d yet again made a gigantic mess of everything.

now left stranded at some random party, god knows where.

so, you do the sensible thing and walk down the stairs and out of the house, stumbling down the street as you pass the party goers.

you walk and walk, until you end up on the familiar street.

you don’t really know what you’re doing until you’re at the door, boots in hand as your knuckles wrap against the wood.

there were now holes in your tights, black mascara smudged down your cheeks and the red lipstick you’d chosen now anywhere but your lips.

you glance at the time on your watch

3:32am.

it had taken you an hour to even get here.

the door swings open and a shirtless steve stands in the doorway, hair sticking up every which way.

‘y/n? why are y- what happened?’ his tone becoming concerned as he notices your disheveled appearance and the leather boots in your hand.

you shrug, swallowing the lump in your throat, ‘i didn’t know where else to go..’ the lump rises as a cry escapes your mouth.

his arms are around your body, pulling you into his chest, before you can say another word.

you cry as he pulls you into the house, running his hand down your back. you can only cling onto him, only crying harder because you didn’t deserve this kindness from him.

‘hey.. what happened?’ he questions, pulling away to make you look up at him.

‘i was.. at a party and- and billy..’ you’re interrupted with a sob, unable to finish the sentence.

his eyes go from soft to filled with anger at the mention of his name.

‘what? what did he do?’ he spits, with the state of you it couldn’t have been good.

‘he just- he tried to touch me and.. and i said no and-,’ you’re interrupted by a sob, unable to even tell steve.

you can feel his body stiffen, ‘he didn’t… did he?’

shaking your head, you swallow attempting to conceal your cries, ‘no.. he just.. touched me.. it’s my fault, i shouldn’t have even gone..’

‘no, no it’s not at all.. c’mon let’s get you cleaned up,’ he pulls his body from yours, now taking your hand and walking you up his stairs.

the second time he’d come to your drunken rescue. you felt awful for relying on him so much.

but truthfully, steve would rather know that you’re safe with him than out there. no matter what had happened between you.

he gently wipes the remains of your makeup off with his moms face wipes, offering you the spare toothbrush and even turning around as you change into yet another one of his t-shirts, this time foregoing the sweatpants.

‘got my own collection going on,’ you laugh weakly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

he exhales, ‘s’pose you do.. they look better on you anyway,’ he stands in the doorway, ready to go to the guest bedroom.

‘can you.. stay in here.. only if you want to,’ you whisper, pulling back the duvet for him.

he walks over to the bed, ‘of course i want to.. whether i should is another story,’ he climbs into the bed, laying back.

‘you should,’ you lean your head back onto the pillow, staring at the cream coloured ceiling.

steve flicks the lamp off, turning on his side to go to sleep.

you’re sure he’s asleep before you let out the first silent cry, hand held over your mouth.

your shoulders shake as you sniffle, slightly louder than intended.

and then you feel steve’s arm snake around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

‘i’m sorry.. i thought you were asleep..’ you mumble.

‘no.. can’t sleep,’ he grumbles in response, still holding onto your waist.

you turn your body to face his, looking up at his shadowy face, admiring the way the moon cascaded over his features. you can just about make out his eyes staring back into yours.

‘me too..’

the eye contact is heavy, and you’re half tempted to reach up and kiss him.

steve clearly has the same thought, his lips colliding with yours with his free hand now cupping your face.

but this kiss is different, there’s no lust, no desire behind it. not like before. this kiss was soft, full of warmth and emotion.

he pulls back, searching for your eyes in the darkness, ‘c’mon you need to sleep.’

you nod slightly, resting your head on his chest and exhaling deeply.

his fingers trace patterns into your shoulder, chin resting on the top of your head.

eventually your breathing becomes heavy on his chest as you drift off to sleep.

his fingers slide through your hair with his other arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, holding you close to his body.

he whispers into your hair, ‘you’re killing me here..’

eventually falling asleep, nuzzled into your hair.

-

it's noon before you wake up, steve's arm around your waist as he snores lightly.

he looked so peaceful when he was asleep, the usual furrow of his brow replaced with an undisturbed, stillness to his face.

you smile at the image, not wanting to wake him but desperately needing the bathroom.

you manoeuvre your body out of his grasp and tiptoe to the bathroom.

when you come back to the room steve is awake, sat up against his headboard.

‘i thought.. i thought you’d snuck off again,’ he exhales, running his hand through his hair.

you shake your head, ‘not this time,’ sitting at the end of the bed.

‘what happened last night?’ he asks, not wanting to press too much.

you sigh, looking down at your hands, ‘he.. he touched me.. i said no but he.. just-,’ you stop yourself.

steve reaches over, placing his hand over yours for reassurance.

‘he grabbed me.. called me a slut and a tease- i don’t wanna talk about it..’

‘you should go to the police, obviously if you want to.. but he shouldn’t get away with that,’ he squeezes you hand, his tone now full of disgust.

‘no, i’m not.. it’s fine- i’m fine,’ you look up at him, eyes glossy with tears.

‘you do-,’ he sighs, exasperated, ‘okay, it’s your choice.. but i’m just telling you now that i am going to kill him.’

you chuckle through the tears, ‘you couldn’t kill a fly.’

‘hey! i could and i have,’ he feigns offence.

you groan, using steve’s blanket to wipe away your tears.

‘are you okay?’ he questions quietly.

you nod, ‘i’m fine.. are you okay?’

‘why would i not be?’

‘because.. of me,’ you shrug, ‘what i did..’

he squeezes your hand, ‘it doesn’t matter.. you were right, you aren’t my girlfriend.. i can’t expect you to act like it,’ he sighs; slightly frowning.

his eyes are sad, gazing down at you.

‘it was still shitty.. i’m really sorry steve.. i’m trying to be a different person, better, but it’s hard..’

he exhales, ‘look.. we don’t need to speak about this now..’

you nod, appreciating his kindness. even if you were totally undeserving.

‘c’mon, i’ll take you home,’ he runs his thumb over your hand before standing from the bed.

you’re stood at his door when he picks up the skirt you’d worn last night. it had been a favourite but now you couldn’t even stand to look at it.

‘burn it,’ you say, disgusted at the sight of the skirt.

it goes unnoticed when steve grits his teeth, seething at how billy’s actions had made you feel so little. a shell of the you he knew.

-

you hesitate going into the cafeteria. there was still an air of uncertainty around you and steve despite you turning up on his doorstep sunday morning.

you notice the group of students now stood at the window, jeering and gasping at some commotion outside.

before you can decide whether to join them, jessica sprints up to you, 'you need to come, now,' pulling your arm towards the door to the forecourt.

'what? what's going on?' you query, stumbling as she drags you along.

'it's steve..,' she pants, breathless as she'd had to sprint to find you.

your eyes immediately land on the group of high-schoolers, crowded around the bustle you'd noticed from the window.

pushing through the crowd you spot steve squared up to billy, his hand shoving his backwards, billy tumbling back.

'fucking creep,' steve spits, stepping up once again.

'what's the problem? did i touch your little girlfriend? that little slut wanted it,' billy bites back, returning the shove to steve only a little harder.

you bite the inside of your cheek, guilty that you were the reason for the fight. his words sting, memories of the spiteful words he had spat at you in the bathroom flooding back.

steve lunges for the boy, landing a particularly hard punch to his cheek sending billy backwards towards the crowd.

billy clutches his cheek, a smile on his lips at the utter disbelief of steve's actions.

the denim clad boy tackles steve to the ground, pulling his arm back to sock him in the face, repeatedly, each hit harder than the last.

you gasp, elbowing the boys in front of you out of the way and stepping up towards billy, you grab onto his jacket in an attempt to stop him.

'fucking stop it!' you screech, pulling his arm back and away from steve.

billy pushes you backwards, falling to the floor as the crowd let out a collective 'ooh'.

fortunately for steve, ms. kelly gets into the middle of the circle as one of the gym teachers restrains billy.

you rush over to steve, his face now bruised and bloody. you cradle his head in your arms, trying to clean off some of the blood to assess how badly he was hurt.

he looks up at you, eyes squinting at the bright light, 'i'm sorry.. he deserved it though.'

you shake your head, though you can't hide the smile on your face, ‘we could've slashed his tyres or something, now look at you.'

eventually, you alongside one of his teammates take him inside, his arm resting on your shoulder.

you press the ice pack to his face, shuffling in the uncomfortable office chairs while you wait for the principle to finish speaking to billy.

'i think you're a fucking idiot for doing that.. but i wanted to thank you.. for defending me n' that..'

he turns to face you, 'oh that? wasn't for you.. i just really really wanted to get beat up,' he winces at his split lip as he smiles.

'it was kinda hot.. y'know the ten seconds before he beat the shit out of you,' you giggle. it was true, angry steve was hot, just not when he was angry at you.

your head jolts to the open door, as billy saunters out. steve had got a pretty good hit in, with billy's cheek now adorned with a new blue bruise.

he glares at the two of you, his lip snarling as if to say something but he restrains himself.

‘mr. harrington,’ mr. davis calls, gesturing towards his office.

you both stand at the same time, ‘you can stay here miss. (y/l/n),’ the principle nods.

‘no, i’m coming,’ you walk into the office and take a seat before steve.

mr. davis is shocked at your gumption, beginning his spiel about fighting and how it’s unacceptable in the school environment.

‘so unfortunately, i’ve got no choice but to suspend you-,’

‘no,’ you cut him off, ‘that’s not fair, it’s my fault he was even fighting, so you can either suspend both of us or neither of us,’ you cross your arms, staring at your principal.

‘well.. now we can’t do that.. school policy states that we need to punish anyone fighting,’ david states, leaning forward on his desk.

‘so suspend me too.’

steve gawps at you, mouth open at your brave actions, utterly speechless.

‘i don’t think that would be wise miss (y/l/n), it’s a one week suspension,’ he attempts to persuade you to concede.

you shrug, ‘i don’t care.’

‘okay.. well.. then you’re both suspended, i’ll be in contact with both of your parents.. i expect you back, not fighting, next monday,’ your principal sighs.

you stand up and exit the room, stone-faced as you barrel out of the school.

steve jogs to catch up with you, ‘wait.. wait, why the fuck did you do that?’ his fingers curl around your wrist.

‘because it’s my fault you were even fighting.. only fair that i take some of the blame,’ you turn to him only inches away from his swollen face.

a laugh erupts from his throat at the sheer absurdity of it all. it’s contagious as you burst out laughing with him.

‘we look crazy..’ you mutter, noticing the stares from nosy students out of the classroom windows.

‘you are crazy,’ he says, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

‘i’m not the one throwing punches at someone twice my size,’ you state, grinning at him.

he scoffs, ‘twice? i don’t think so.’

you shake your head, ‘let’s get out of this shit hole, you’ve just bagged me a week off.. i’m not wasting that.’

you walk over to your car, looking back at steve stood gawping at you.

‘i.. i drove so i’ll uh- see ya,’ he begins to walk to his car, fumbling in his pockets for his keys.

‘are you sure you’re alright to drive? your eye’s pretty fucked..’ you were just desperate to not let him walk away once again.

‘yeah.. this is not my first time being beaten up, believe it or not,’ he half jokes, wobbling over to his car.

‘well.. uh, do you wanna do something later? i think i owe you for defending my honour,’ you call after him.

he turns to look at you, ‘okay, dinner is definitely on you though.’

‘i’ll even come and pick you up.. six, so you better be ready,’ you open the car door, sliding into the seat.

you both drive home grinning at your nondate-date.

-

you’d never been so nervous, stomach doing flips at the thought of seeing him.

you pull up on his drive, giving your outfit a once over before sounding the horn. you’d opted for more casual wear, a difference to the usual short skirts and revealing tops steve normally saw you in.

he appears at the door before limping over to your car. he groans as he attempts to sit in the car, his bruises now visible on his face.

‘are you sure you’re okay to go out?’ you question, wincing at his cut hands.

‘yeah.. i’m fine.. just a bit sore,’ he mumbles.

‘mm, you look it, c‘mon.. we can just order pizza and watch a movie, it’s okay,’ you hop out and walk around the passenger side, helping him out of your car.

he wraps his arm around your waist, supporting himself with your body, ‘you could’ve said this before i dragged myself all the way over here,’ he jokes.

‘steve, i’ll fucking drop you.’

you help him into the house, placing him down on the sofa before looking around at the large house.

you’d never really seen it through sober eyes, suddenly noticing the childhood photos dotted around.

‘are your parents not home?’ you question, the quiet echoed around the house.

‘nah.. they never are,’ he shrugs, there’s a certain sadness to his voice as he settles into the cushions.

‘oh.. at least they don’t know that you’re suspended i guess..’ you try to spin it positively but you can tell just how hurt he is.

‘yeah.. i guess..’

you sit down on the couch next to him, grabbing the phone from the table and passing it to him.

‘c’mon.. it’s my treat so get whatever you want,’ you cross your legs up onto the couch, watching him on the phone. completely enamoured with his every little move.

-

there’s some action film on the tv, not your first choice obviously.

your knees are tucked into your chest as steve leans against you, head on your shoulder. you honestly weren’t even sure he was still awake.

‘i’m really sorry, steve,’ it comes out in barely a whisper.

you hear him sigh, ‘i know.. it’s okay,’ he lifts his head off of your shoulder, now looking at you.

‘no, steve.. it’s not okay.. i hurt you and that’s not okay..’ you can’t bare to look at him, into his sad, doe eyes, instead playing with the hem on your jeans.

‘it is.. im telling you that it is.. you aren’t my girlfriend and..’ he exhales, ‘it’s okay that you don’t want to be.. i shouldn’t have just expected it from you..’

you’re still picking at the loose thread on your jeans, ‘but i do.. i do want that.. i just- there’s something wrong with me and i just can’t help it, i fuck everything up.. i hurt people..’ you shake your head, quickly wiping away the tear that had slipped out.

being so vulnerable with him made you sick to your stomach. the first person in a long time to tap into this part of you, the side you had buried deep down.

he swallows before putting his hand on your knee, ‘you haven’t.. fucked anything up, i’m still here aren’t i?

you’re brave enough to slowly look up at him through sodden eyelashes, blinking at his words.

‘you know.. i’ve been begging to hear you say that for so long..’ he breathes, inching closer to your face.

‘i don’t wanna hurt you..’ you murmur, his hand cupping your cheek as he wipes your damp cheek.

he leans forward, placing his lips on your yours. the kiss is similar to the one you’d shared in his bed on sunday morning, soft with no ulterior motives. affectionate and gentle, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

he pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours as his thumb still tracing your cheek, ‘then don’t.’

you nod, placing your hand on top of his before kissing his lips again. carefully placing your other hand on his bruised cheek, sure to be gentle with him.

‘does this mean you’re my girlfriend?’ he mumbles into the kiss.

you laugh against his lips, ‘if you want me to be..’

he pulls back to look at you, ‘i want nothing more,’ the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile.

‘then i’m yours.’

[ikemenomegas]

in light of gojo's unsealing, ive thought about diff cute scenarios

gojo being the type of person to get his mate's phone and snap hundreds of pictures of his face

this would probably never happen given gojo's privacy when it comes to his marriage but in a different world i can see this happening Gojo naming his alpha as "mochi seller' on his phone and Itadori seeing the message pop out from the lock screen and accidentally somewhat outing gojo's rs when he asks him in front of the other students why the mochi seller sent an ily message

the tender moments where gojo lets his infinity down or lets his alpha inside his infinity and he gets to relish in the warmth of their skin

the sappy things gojo's alpha has to sometimes do whenever gojo gets too rowdy and they need to placate him for whatever reason (re: alpha reading a map together with nanami scenario)

gojo sending his alpha a picture of two rocks by the sidewalk with the caption: 'us'

gojo asking his alpha if they would still love him if he was a worm and the alpha saying: "no<33"

Awww! These were really cute anon! Very happy ending which I feel like we're going to need a lot of in the coming weeks...

(Also I ran with it but why is their name "mochi seller" haha)

[Ao3 link for those who prefer chapters]

⬖ Photomaton

"Device storage insufficient, please move or delete files to make room?" you read, nonplussed.

Nobara sighed. "Sensei, I showed you how to do that weeks ago."

"I did do it." You frowned, opening up your files. Why were there so many pictures...

Nobara rolled her eyes at you and beat a hasty retreat when your hand went to your mouth as your face went warm.

There were rows and rows of photos, none of which you had taken.

Most of them were selfies, but some of them were obviously the result of Satoru propping the phone up and attempting to pose for the camera.

He must have been swiping your phone every time you left it sitting out or went to sleep. He didn't rest much, but there were so many, more probably than you'd been able to take in the last five years.

There wasn't much thought for such things when you only saw one another a handful of days every month. The focus had gone to managing the present, not on taking pictures. You'd only really thought to regret it after that terrible Halloween, when you worried you'd never see him again.

Some of the photos framed Satoru inside one of your homes. Others were almost ugly shots, taken way too close, or blurred with motion artifact. There were pictures of him haloed in the night glow of streetlights or washed out in the halogen light of a konbini. There were those made grainy with low light and some that took your breath away because he was nice looking.

Furtively, you looked up but were alone and you silently thanked your student's exasperated impatience. A few of the photos showed just too much skin to be exactly proper.

You thumbed down. The pictures were a story all their own revealing some of what Satoru did when alone and you savored the honesty. You had to keep apart from one another for so long.

The last thing in the camera roll was a video.

It opened with the shuffling sounds and the wobbling display of someone walking. Satoru wound around furniture in the darkened interior of your apartment.

"I'm home. You're asleep right now," he said lowly, "probably won't be later. I don't know how most people can sleep so much." He spoke half to himself, the deep night laying over his words like velvet.

There was the sound of the door to the little balcony opening and then the faint tinkle of the glass bells hanging from the eaves.

"Must be nice," he mused, "you get to miss a lot."

The image on the screen steadied as he rested your phone on the rail. The familiar view of the city resolved as faint golden starbursts of light. The rustling of Satoru's clothing faded until all you could hear was the faint rush of night wind and his breathing.

The video went on for over a quarter of an hour. You scrolled your fingers across the screen. He didn't move, the picture stayed the same. You leaned against a wall and listened to the last few moments, your heartbeat low and slow, your breath in sync with his from some time both here and long ago.

Satoru spoke, amused over the night-sounds:

"Don't delete this. I'll know."

⬖ Daifuku

"Good job," Gojo congratulated his dust-stained students as the veil fell.

Maki and Toge glared while Yuuji gave him a tired thumbs up from where he was laying on the ground.

"Dinner is on me tonight." Gojo ignored their halfhearted grumbling. "Decide where you want to go."

He anticipated a larger than normal ding to his wallet, but they'd earned it (and it wasn't as though he couldn't afford it). Beating this curse was no minor feat and it had been a particularly crafty one, which was why Gojo had gone with them just in case.

The students made noises of acknowledgement with varying levels of anticipation, but to no one's surprise, Yuuji was the first to roll over and dig around for his phone.

He tapped the screen and groaned.

"Sensei, mine's dead. Can I use yours?"

Gojo unlocked it and passed it over without a thought. He wasn't particularly hungry, the kids could figure this out without his interference for once.

"Um, Gojo-sensei?"

"Hm?"

"Why is a "mochi seller" reminding you to stop at the pharmacy and sending you heart emojis?"

With uncanny synchrony, Maki and Toge's heads turned to look at their teacher.

The phone in Yuuji's hand buzzed faintly.

"I love you?" he read, sounding alarmed.

Toge's eyes went a bit wide but a grin that curled a bit too much at the edges and showed teeth took over Maki's face.

"Text back," she said, scrambling to her feet.

With all her quickness, she swooped in and snatched the phone when Yuuji hesitated.

The phone buzzed once more.

"I'll be home by 8:30, probably," she read.

Gojo took advantage of Maki's triumphant look to slip the device from her grip.

"I knew it!" she pointed at him. "I knew you were hiding something."

"Grown ups hide lots of things," he replied blithely. He was confident none of the students could tell that moment had been more like someone walking over his grave.

It was not as though he intended to hide his relationship with you. Hide implied shame, concealment on the other hand had been security and was harder to let go of. There would come a moment when the kids prised the truth from him. He was not about to have that moment with his kids now, or hopefully ever, because they accidentally read his texts out loud.

Maki reached for his phone and he easily tipped out of her way, walking off and heading towards a neighborhood he knew (and the students did not) had a lot of very good restaurants.

He was silently very thankful when the implied threat of no food at all distracted the students. Or at least had Yuuji barreling past Maki and kindly dropping the matter in favor of promising to "only look at the map this time, was there a good katsudon place nearby?"

⬖ Goose Down

Satoru spotted you hunched over a rail with your umbrella open overhead, held in the crook of your elbow.

He could tell from the set of your shoulders that the summer sun was getting to you, despite the cursed tool taking a majority of the pressure off.

Your energy was butter yellow and burnt red and lithium pink, mixing slowly around your body as you slowly cycled power into the umbrella and the short sword held loosely in your hands.

Satoru ducked around a corner and took a peak at your face. Your eyes were closed.

Smirking quietly to himself, he crept around, Infinity a barrier between himself and the world. For just a little longer...

You jumped when he dropped it, nearly dropping your sword and automatically holding the umbrella high enough for him to fit under it.

"Hah-"

"Speechless?"

You gaped at him, mouth hanging open.

He nodded as if you'd just confirmed it. "This is what they don't tell you about marriage. Making someone's heart race is important even after the wedding. We'll probably be together forever at this rate."

You mouth closed and then went a little wobbly.

"It's hot," you finally said, miserably. "And it's too sunny."

He couldn't hold back his laughter as he stepped closer and folded himself around you. Your scent tingled pleasantly in his nose and your skin was warm from both heat and light, like a sun-warmed blanket.

"Oh," you said faintly, "you're cool," and you all but melted against him.

"You could just go inside," Satoru said. "I sent the students off on an adventure. We wouldn't be bothered."

"That sounds nice," you murmured, but didn't make any move away from him.

He didn't either. He didn't feel much like letting go yet.

⬖ Orange Kazoo

Sometimes, you reminded yourself through your already strained patience, Satoru just needed to be left alone to make noise.

For a moment, you considered begging him for just a little peace, but you knew he was doing this for your benefit. Shibata Kin was a difficult pill to swallow.

"I never expected anyone to send Six Eyes to join us."

It was the weakest and most recent of Shibata's barbs. The oily way he said it and the implication that anyone would dare to subordinate Satoru to this boot licker rankled.

Satoru crinkled the package extra loud on a bit of melon bread and smiled. "I was in the neighborhood."

He took a bite, chewed and swallowed while you flipped through the mission report on a clipboard.

You sighed, exhaling your worry, and handed it back. "Let's go then. It looks like all the victims disappeared from the same place so we should start there."

That place was a building that straddled a moderately busy subway station and stacked part of a shopping mall, a cluster of private clinics, and a cram school all on top of each other.

Satoru trailed behind through the store, stopping at kiosks and chatting with saleswomen, picking up and putting down objects.

You could feel Shibata's irritation transform into something far less internal as he turned to you.

"He's like a child," he remarked coolly. "Sure we shouldn't just ditch him? The curse doesn't sound that hard to deal with since I've got you."

When you ignored him, he kept talking.

"He shouldn't even be here," the man drawled.

You shrugged. "Well he is."

Shibata sourly appeared to swallow whatever else he wanted to say. You turned around to see where Satoru had gone to. The thought of being stuck with the bitter other sorcerer was worse than waiting for them to pick their bickering back up.

He waved a stuffed cat in sunglasses at you and nodded eager agreement when you pointed out a cute little sparrow holding an umbrella on a shelf behind him. Sometimes, it was best to just humor Satoru and play along.

When you turned back, Shibata Kin was gone.

Since you were all concealing your residuals from the curse you expected was in the building, you had no idea where he went.

You looked over your shoulder. Satoru was gone too.

Well.

You tapped your fingers over your pocket and then decided to let them go. Satoru always seemed to know where to find you and Shibata had called you here as backup. You should probably go kill what you were looking for before it nibbled on him.

Many fewer curses than you expected lingered in the shopping mall. They were bizarre places with as many secret passageways as an ancient castle. Away from the popular shops and crowds, it quickly grew quiet and the bright gleam of displays gave way to more neglected halls.

On your way, you passed a small bank of capsule machines. You crouched down, and smiled faintly to yourself. Abandoned in the furthest reach of the shopping mall, almost near to where a service entrance lead to another stretch of winding halls and tunnels, the items here were both ancient (by city standards) and ridiculous.

Packages of candy that still held their shine but were likely far past their expiration date sat beside tiny figurines of a frog-shaped toddler in a little red hat. You grimaced back at those and moved on.

Near the end of the row was a machine that sold tiny musical instruments, plastic and paper and probably terrible sounding, but it wasn't expired food or frog children. You stuck a few coins into the slot and turned the dial.

An acid green ball spat out from the slot.

You picked at the latches on its side while you found your way further and further into the little used corridors.

There was a flash of something, like a burst of camera illumination from behind a door on your right.

You slipped through it, pulling your blade free from its sheath at the small of your back, and emerged into a tunnel that looked to be connecting to the nearby subway station. Not far ahead, the darkened path split into two.

You flipped the sword around so its blunt edge rested against your forearm and sprinted, dashing across the intersection.

A blur of motion came at you. As it grazed by, you snatched at that movement and sprang into the air, high enough to crouch on the ceiling of the tunnel.

The curse was a near perfect twin of the one a little ways down the way the attack had come, which should have maybe been your first hint. The one that had come at you was grinning, its face a rictus mockery of a theater mask.

They both sat, crouched like toads. You feinted toward the one that had come towards you, and at the last minute flew down to the other, its mouth bent in a painted looking frown.

It backed up in surprise, but not far enough and your blade nicked through the face, which was hard like dense wood. The air around your other hand shimmered in heat, as you struck for the thing's cavernous eyes.

It emitted a furious, scolding gurgle that almost reminded you of some of the window teachers from high school, and swallowed the burst of heat before it could crackled around it into full flame.

You hardly had time to reinforce your body with cursed energy before you were blasted from two directions, letting the momentum carry you and trying to wrap the more opposing forces and the roaring sound of displaced air into your own cursed energy. But something about it resisted you, and you were unable to absorb as much of the attack as you usually would.

A racking shiver radiated through your body right before you were caught by a broad hand on your back.

"Hi," Satoru said sweetly.

"Hi," you panted, automatic, eyes still fixed on the curse.

"What's going on?"

You looked up at him with incredulity.

Hoisted in his other arm was the limp body of your other companion.

Satoru's head cocked to the side, curious as he looked at the curse.

"I don't know yet. I hit it and then--" the mask of the frowning curse was ash blasted and the notch from your first strike still there, but it was not as damaged as expected.

You regained your footing and stood upright.

"If I give it another go I think I can figure it out."

He tilted his head.

You sized up the two curses waiting outside the reach of Satoru's infinity.

"Oh." You reached into your pocket and handed him the green orb.

"What's this?"

"Dunno," you said with a faint smile. "I got it for you."

"Aww, you shouldn't have."

Maybe not. Satoru thinks gachapon are funny, you should show him the line of machines if you get out of here the same way you come in, then he can choose something himself. You still have a few coins on you.

You flew at the grinning curse, both hands on the hilt of your blade, cursed energy flashing into a point a good six inches out from where the metal itself ended.

You held, crystalizing your own movement for a moment and stared deep into the thing's empty eyes.

It twitched, and then its arm moved and you slashed downward, intending to cleave the limb away.

The blade hit, you knew it did. You were able to dodge the attack you anticipated from the smiling curse. The frowning curse in front of you struck back, almost at the same time.

You pulled on some of the reserved momentum you'd held back in your initial strike and barely twisted out of the way.

You lifted the gleeful cackles of the twinned curses from the air and tried to twist them into a crackling rope of flame to surround the grinning one again. As you had expected, the damage did not seem to completely take and you were forced to duck when a bolt of heat tried to sear your back, culminating in another blast that shook the tunnel and thew you once more.

"That's enough."

Satoru appeared at your side again, pulling you back behind the shield of his power when the curse's retaliation threatened to cut through you.

"This one's a bad match for your technique," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Is it reflecting through the faces?" you asked, catching your breath.

He hummed.

Absently, you realized you could scent the sharp, fresh smell of citrus on his breath - the smell of the biting orange flavored candy you'd shared with him on the train ride here.

"If it reflects yours too--" you trailed off. What you did was firmly in the realm of the "real" and Satoru's abilities were not. If this curse were to reflect back blue, or red, or heaven forbid purple... well you'd never seen or asked up until if Satoru could stop his own techniques. It seemed a tactical oversight in this moment.

Satoru stepped forward.

"Stabilize him," he instructed flatly. He'd tossed Shibata Kin's still body where he had been standing barely a minute before.

The curses had moved closer and pressed together, beginning to meld into one another before your eyes. The damage you had already done was fading further.

You knelt at Shibata's side, shaking back your sleeves. "You know this is going to poison him."

You carefully set two fingers underneath his right collarbone, and three a few ribs below his heart on the left and focused in on the flickers of electricity that powered a human body.

"Oh well." Satoru's grin was a baring of teeth. "He'll get over it better than being dead."

You could sense the arrhythmic flutter of Kin's heart, like the popping scatter of an overloaded lamp, like a fractured version of that flash you had sensed earlier.

"You know he was trying to set you up right?" Satoru asked as he batted away an experimental chunk of rubble the curse tossed his way with a flick of his wrist. The stone was aimed right for the face of the smiling curse and even as it hit, it seemed to bounce back, hitting Satoru's shield and falling to the ground.

You sparked a bit of your energy to pure electricity, sending it jumping from one side of Shibata Kin's chest to the other.

"It crossed my mind," you admitted, murmuring as you concentrated. "But I didn't pursue the thought."

Satoru snorted. Yes, alright it was more likely you'd decided thinking about it too hard was going to distract you from the mission but you were here anyway.

You counted the pulse of electricity between your fingers to your own heartbeat until Kin's matched, or at least matched better than before.

When you pulled your hands away, Satoru cracked his knuckles. It looked like he was going to go in for physical attacks.

"You might need to manage the tunnel," he said.

Yet another reason this was a bad match up, not just for you but for him. Satoru did best in wide open spaces where he had room to move and didn't need to worry too much about collateral damage. Dropping a ton of rock on your heads and collapsing the buildings above sounded like a thing that could happen.

You had barely pressed your hands to the ground when Satoru was off like a shot.

The curse wasn't that strong - a high end second grade or low level first grade at best given that it wasn't itself attacking to provoke a response - but it split into those two halves of itself and reformed again as needed to minimize the impacts Satoru rained upon it or flank him.

Limitless lay against his skin between each strike so he remained unmarked, but the cavernous space still rocked with noise and dust shook from the gaps between tiles. You steadied it best you could, absorbing the oscillations and dampening the noise.

It did not take long for the frowning curse to realize what you were doing and send the smiling one racing for you. With one hand on the ground and one on your sword, brimming with unspent potential, you raised the point.

"Nah ah." This seemed at once to you and the monster charging your way. Satoru appeared in its path and bodily kicked it away.

It did not take long after for the twinned curses to be dispatched. Although the only reason you weren't holding your breath is because you were gritting your teeth with the effort of holding the ground together and trying not to shake apart yourself.

Satoru in motion, in a fight, particularly when physical constraint demanded more of his ingenuity, was always a sight to behold.

He came back to you looking unfairly dewy post exertion, with his hair in a sort of windswept disarray, the fabric around his shoulders bunched up. He shrugged out the wrinkles and dusted off his hands.

Your briefly pressed a hand to his knee after you steadied the last tremor from the ground.

"Thank you."

Satoru tapped his forefinger twice against your temple as he walked by. "A feedback loop between you and that thing would have been very messy."

You stood up, swaying slightly.

Even though Satoru would have happily dragged Shibata to the exit point, you insisted on tugging him upright and at least moving him through the air to a place where the three of you could safely rest and call a car.

You had settled him against a wall and were calling Akari when he finally stirred.

"What happened?" Shibata asked weakly.

You turned around to look at him and from Shibata Kin's tepid expression and the sound of shifting cloth behind you, you assumed Satoru must have copied your movement.

Still, you gave him a faint smile and couched down beside him. He didn't have the strength to move away as you grabbed his wrist and felt his pulse. It was thready, but he'd be good enough to get the rest of the way above ground until an actual doctor could take a look at hime.

"We're all alive," you explained unnecessarily.

Shibata Kin's eyes moved from your face to over your shoulder. Sweat beaded his brow and upper lip.

From behind you came a buzzing hum, somewhat approximating a sad tuba. Waa wa wa waaaaaaaa, it trailed off.

Satoru had a the wide end of a grape purple kazoo held between his teeth, his sunglasses already exchanged for the bandages he'd had wrapped around his eyes.

Only just in time, you ducked your face into your shoulder and hid a smile.

⬖ Pet rock

You were walking down some quiet residential street, trying to match the map to the trail of the curse you were tracking. It was not very intelligent, but it had a pernicious little ability to draw other curses to it under the banner of a powerful command. You'd been swatting third and fourth grades out of the air as you chased it, trying to wear down its arsenal.

It wasn't a terribly good strategy however and the thing had been winding its way through side streets to buy time. If you could get in closer, you could chop away at more of its train of screaming fears, maybe get a head start on the main peril. Thus the attempt at navigating and figuring out its destination so you could cut it off.

At least Hirano-san would be happy. Maybe. Culling curses required balance; they were their own little ecosystem. As long as the things aren't eating anyone, a certain amount of apex predators in an area could be a deterrent, like the old practice of putting powerful relics out like roach traps. Have the inevitable critters fight and eat one another rather than their human hosts.

A notification popped up over the map, and then another after it.

You felt your shoulders drop as you recentered yourself with a faint smile.

At your hotel later that night, you recalled that Satoru had sent you a message. You fell onto the bed, wrapped up in the hotel bathrobe.

It was... nice, knowing that someone was waiting at home for you. Or if not at home, he was still busy as ever, out there in the world somewhere, thinking of you. Weirdly normal.

The message was a picture. You blinked up at it. Two little rocks and a flower growing out of a crack in the pavement to shade over them.

>> ?

Almost immediately you saw three dots appear.

<< it's us!

Is it? you thought skeptically, looking at the picture again.

The dots again.

<< You don't think so :(?

Your phone was buzzing in your hand before you had even a moment to answer.

It startled you enough to drop the phone.

Owww

"You took so long to answer. This is photography, are you discouraging my new passion? It could go on a greeting card."

The word salad was meaningless and silly, weightless.

"I dropped you on my nose," you said, eyes closed as you rubbed the spot the corner of your case had hit.

"Were you that surprised by it?"

A pause.

"It's cute." The notion of it and the fact that he'd sent it to you was cute.

"It is cute right?" His voice was bright but not overly loud through the phone, for which you were grateful, already settling into warmth. "The flower is poisonous too."

You curled up on your side and held the phone close. Maybe he'd get lucky and you would find something cute to send back to him.

⬖ Puddle jumping

a/n: You have no idea how much googling I had to do to figure out what the prompt meant. I am not on the tick-tock app lol or, I've found, a fan of this meme... the implication that girlfriends ask useless questions as a rule seems sort of meh. So I mostly kept to my original response to this which was "i don't know what that is and honestly probably neither does alpha"

Satoru was herding you down the sidewalk, occasionally listing one way or the other to get you out of the way of other pedestrians. Sometimes he did it for the simple fascination of how you swayed along by him like you were on a tether. Even while you eyes were all but fixed skyward, you stayed roughly the same distance from him.

It was the first day of sun after days of rain and also one of the first days he had off with you in so many apart. He had been too restless the day before, back off a bad mission that had more to do with the desperate unpredictability of people than the intrinsic darkness of curses. You had not resisted him when he drew you out, stifled by the low clouds and humidity and longing for openness. Even with Infinity blocking the rain, it had felt like being closed in again.

Relieved of their burden, the clouds had gone from iron grey to diaphanous white and pealed up and away in swaths like billowing curtains. This is what you were watching - their retreat from the earth. They had come so low they wrapped around skyscrapers and telephone poles on their back to their usual place.

Satoru watched the drowned earth. You had cut through a tree lined walk. The rich soil was churned and muddy and the long bodies of worms that had been washed out or crawled up were strewn about.

Your and Satoru's steps made no mark as he stretched Infinity over and around the two of you. Neither of you tread upon those blind, waterlogged creatures.

Satoru stepped behind you to allow a cluster of high schoolers to pass and hid a faint wrinkle of his nose as they squealed and ran by, realizing they were stepping on some of the remains.

Your umbrella was folded and carried at your side, and you tilted your head back at him, looking a little sun-drunk. He smiled at you. He could see the reflection of the sky in your gaze.

He adopted a pout, snickering internally as you immediately seemed to regain some awareness and a wary anticipation entered your expression.

"Would you still like me if I was a worm?" he asked.

You blinked at him. "Is this one of those things you learned from the kids?"

He slouched a bit, crowding into your space. "Would you still love me if I was a worm," he wheedled.

"Are you turning into a worm?" you asked, slightly panicked, hand going to his arm as though to check if he was going as wet and floppy as the poor things on the ground.

"I'm going to turn into one if you don't answer my question."

The last of the distracted fog lifted from your eyes as you shook yourself. You took his hand and pulled him close to let another couple pass you on the walk. They inclined their head in thanks.

There was no rush to get where you were going and you tugged him along a smaller path that cut under a row of thick-branched trees so you could walk side by side unimpeded.

"I still liked you when you were a semi-sentient six sided die," you pointed out, smiling slightly.

"It's not the same," he whined a bit, drawing out the words in a sing-song fashion.

"Isn't it? I'm not sure a die eight kilometers under the ocean is more useful than a worm."

"Hmph."

"Although I really hope the worm thing is hypothetical."

"Why?"

"Because with our luck that would mean I'm a worm too."

Satoru huffed a faint sound of amusement. "Nooo. You'd still be some kind of bird." He patted your back. "Don't worry I'll make sure to crawl out late so you can still be in time to eat me all up."

"... Are you propositioning me or telling me to hurry up?"

"Walk faster or I'll step on the backs of your shoes."

You did. The two of you walked faster and faster until you were all but chasing one another out of the park, laughing lightly as you dodged the spots of wet on the ground.

[plantoyoon]

New experiences. part 1

I am writing this because I'm actively thinking about it and writing it seems like it would help to get it out of the depths of my brain. (I think I mostly wrote it in second person, haven't proofread it, I don't know how much sense it makes)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Synopsis: You need someone to help you with your needs

Genre/Tags: First time meeting, Friends with benefits, maybe soul bound

Mostly inside talks, then some fluff, not much action though... it will follow soon

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This is the most stupid thing you’ve ever done! An improper way to say hello, but if you're actively thinking about me in your goblin ways, please stop! Message sent.

Voice 1: Why have I done this? Should I delete the message? I still have time... but I'm sure he already saw it. Why isn't there an answer? Am I being that insane?

Voice 2: Well, probably yeah... because you just sent a text to a dude you stopped talking to more than a month ago. In a kind of crazy way. Let's cover it up for a bit, shall we? So I know that in those periods of talking or not talking, he told you that every time you texted him, he was always thinking intensely of you. Given the kind of relationship you had and the person he was, it was smutty thinking. I might sound like I'm actively judging, but it was the same for you. Texting him when you were so close to touching yourself or after, depending on how needy you felt that day. Therefore, my insane message!

Alright, he's typing... Typing... still typing...

You're a nervous wreck at this point, still uncertain if you should delete your message. That would be even more insane now!

"Hi! Maybe I am. Would that be so wrong?" came the answer, dry and flirty. As he usually does, but the lack of honesty bleeds through... he would usually write more, not be that mysterious.

"Not wrong, but..." In your usual style, you overthink what to write next. Should you say: "Yes, stop! I need to work, not think about you," or "I miss your hugs and you," or "I am a dumb thing who needs to get her shit together. Sorry for writing!" But you don't. Your fingers go flirtatious and say, "Not wrong, but I know you could do better than just manifest me into your couch."

"What do you mean?" The conversation feels strained, but you go further in your stupidity and inquire, "Text, ask, and receive." Wow, so bold! You clearly don't recognize yourself; it's like you never left being his go-to friend with benefits for six months.

Looking at the messages, your mind starts thundering with anxieties. Did he get a girlfriend? Is he upset? Does he hate you? Does he think you're so lame for texting him like this after the last time he refused your meeting request? You wisely put your phone down, put on some music, and close your eyes, trying to ground yourself for a moment... Why did "Drowning" start playing? The universe is aligned with your personal saboteur.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You drowned in a similar moment in your life, having the same urges and desire for connection. It was hot outside, the AC being your only hope, but it was an old one... so there was still a need to lay like a starfish on the bed to properly cool off. But your life was another thing—working part-time, doing this and that, and just focusing on your health, hobbies, doing some sports, painting... you know, trying to enjoy life.

According to your friends, you lacked a boyfriend. You denied it strongly until recently, when all those couples' activities started to creep onto your wish list. The fact that all the novels you were reading also contained a relationship here and there put even more pressure on you.

But as much as you'd like to stick to the novelty of it all, the reality was simple. You were horny, and your hands and toys couldn't keep up with your appetite anymore. So you did what every girl not in her right mind does... went to dating apps.

You said to yourself: We're just doing some friends with benefits, not a relationship, so we can be as picky with looks as we want.

So you set up your account and started swiping. Lots of lefts, until someone caught your eye... Dark hair, fair skin, an artistic pose, and another one in the mirror with a camera pointed towards it, where his hands seemed like the main attraction. Long and elegant fingers, yet strong with prominent knuckles. Have you ever had a thing for hands? you ask yourself.

Swipe right and matched. Oh, that was fast, considering you made the account less than half an hour ago.

You try with a bit of conversation so you wouldn't be the direct asshole you usually are. You had prior experience with dating apps, so you expected the conversation to drift quickly to the action part. But this time it didn't. The conversation was quite smooth and cute, getting to know each other, talking about photography. As enjoyable as the conversation was, you had a purpose, so for the first time, it was you who moved the talk to meet and fuck.

Always a smooth talker, but this was your moment as a weird robot who suddenly had needs and needed to focus on her purpose. After a few hours, you managed to have him at your door, inviting him in and playing the part where you present your house with him complimenting the size of your apartment.

He is cute, you thought. Longer dark hair, dark eyes, whose emotions played between curiosity and reservation, and dark clothes. You definitely need some wine to gain your confidence in this situation.

"Wine?" you ask, at which he confirms while checking out what was running on TV. It was a Star Wars series that you've been watching recently. You've kept it running in the background for some months until now, so you kind of forgot to change it to some music or something more appealing. The atmosphere between you two was a bit strange, not knowing what to say, what to talk about. He seemed uncomfortable. You cringe for a moment, but who would have thought that Star Wars was your saving point because the awkwardness disappears as he starts to talk enthusiastically about watching that as a teenager, his memories around it, and the impact it had on the world. Of course, he enjoys Star Wars; now it feels less intimidating.

The conversation runs smoothly and a few hours go by unnoticed, laughing, talking about random aspects of films and how life correlates to them. It felt nice and natural to talk to him, sharing quirky thoughts together and even throwing some jinxes in there. At this point, even though you were still horny, you would have been happy with this night. You notice the wine left in the bottle, so you pour all the remaining content into the glasses and drink it. You feel how this last sip got you more dizzy, and you feel more comfortable with the silence and just look in his eyes with intent. He reflects the lust simply and surely, getting closer to you, placing both hands on your hips, closing the distance between you two while slowly pecking your lips. He feels smooth, his lips perfectly matched over yours. His perfect hands start to move on your body, his fingers pressing harder into your skin. He takes a breath to look at you with big eyes for a second then crashes his lips against yours, his tongue licking your lips eagerly and you grant access, slowly feeling out of breath and dizzy of desire.

The way his tongue dances with yours feels completely like him, balancing between assertiveness and shyness, between wanting to engulf you and protect you. You're having so many emotions in this moment, that it's starts to creep on you that you just met today. I think he senses something is clouding your mind, slowly pulling away from the kiss to look at you, caress your hair with one hand and cup your cheek with the other. The look of understanding he gives to you, brings so much reassurance and makes you take the lead in the following kiss.

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[rweoutofthewoods]

Actual honesty for once:

oh my god I am so sorry i sobered up I am deleting my weird posts. BUT tonight I realized a lot of my drunken rambles have a lot of truth in them that I've never been able to say sober before.

So some honesty.

Drunk me was right, I don't enjoy being here anymore, in fact every time I log onto tumblr or scroll my dash I'm filled with dread. And I've tried to pull back multiple times but I always come back, and I can finally admit it's been leading me to move on. If you've seen me go through this before you might think "oh my god shut up she's so dramatic" but really my halfhearted attempts to take a break were really just steps forward towards finally making my decision and sticking with it.

I'm setting rules for myself. I am not scrolling tumblr anymore, I am not posting aside from once a week on Friday when I've set my app blocks to let me in so I can link the chap of whatever I updated and answer a few asks, only relating to fics. I need to set my boundaries while also keeping a balance of being able to interact with you guys and express my gratitude, so I'm finding my balance and finally stepping back for good. I had an all or nothing attitude which is why I always had trouble sticking with a decision to step back from the social aspect of the fandom.

So you can still send me things, but know I won't answer them until Fridays and I'm drawing a hard line for myself.

I won't be posting or updating this week, so I will be back on the 10th. Ily all and wish you well and can never thank you enough for the support and love you've sent me even when I've been off the rails and it was probably evident. I'm still on the fence about leaving the marauders fandom entirely, but no matter what I will finish my WIPS I promise, so you won't get rid of my entirely.

MWAH ily all and if you want to talk to me privately I can dm you my discord goodnight and ty for everything.

(I'm so sorry I was still not sober when I wrote this I'm like disgustingly embarrassed so I edited it greatly 😭)

[rykno-j]

Phonecall (j/jk)

Summary: Like the title suggests, G/ojo makes a call for help. From who? N/anami. OR G/ojo calling N/anami to bring shit over for his cold

Ship: n/anag/o? it's up to interpretation

Notes: Tried to write a snz > plot fic for once. N/anami calls G/ojo "G/ojo-s/an" in the anime/manga so I'll probably retain that. I'm kinda proud of this one, ahh- (like the angst parts only) Oh right there's some angsty parts but it's pretty mild.. I think.. like there's more fluffy & snz parts..

Actually wrote this whole thing in 1 sitting. Imagine that.

2.7k words.

-----------------

"..Hh-hH'!! hAH'ZZDcHh!! hA'DzcHH!!"

Fuck. Those were the roughest he's had for today.

Gojo stares burry at his ceiling. The fan in the middle has 3 blades. If Gojo didn't know better, he'd say there were 5 instead.

His head hurt, everything hurt. He was sure he was sweating, but everything felt so cold.

..Must be a side effect from the fever, then.

Gojo sighed. It's been awhile since.. since-

"..hiH'tcHH!! haH'zZdchH!!"

-Since he had fallen sick. The last time.. the last time he had fallen sick..

It was only bearable because someone had been there.

Of course.

Gojo turns over to his table, the action taking up most of his energy. With what little he had left, Gojo reaches clumsily for his phone. It almost slips out of his trembling fingers as he flips it open.

The brightness from the screen stung his eyes, causing him to turn to the side to muffle a fit of photic sneezes into the back of his palm.

At least.. at least those didn't ruin this throat as much as-

"..heH'EshH'iww!! ..snff-!"

-As those did.

All the sweating he was doing now was probably due to his fever breaking, but Gojo wasn't so sure.

His brain loved to overheat, and while he would gladly heal any damage done to it with his reversed cursed technique, he was pretty sure this damned cold did not count as an injury.

How unfortunate.

He ate the last of his fever medicine 5 hours ago.

How unfortunate.

Although he was never one to back down from a challenge, even Gojo knew he would never make it further than the front door, if he could even manage to stumble out of his room.

"..hih'tchh!! hAH'DzcHh!! ..hH'!! ..haah.. ..snff-!! hh.."

Great. It's stuck. His body must straight up hate him.

In all honesty, Gojo figures that he deserves it. Who was it again? That said his body would give in if he didn't get enough sleep?

Right.. it was Nanami..

Nanami..

Nanamin!

Squinting at his phone screen, Gojo selects the 'contacts' option on his phone. He slowly scrolls down to the 'N' section, eyes gazing over a few painful contact names that he had yet to delete.

Even after all this time, he still couldn't just let go.

His finger hovers over the call button of Nanami's contact. Would he pick up? It's his off day after all. He knows how much Nanami treasures those.

Small breathers from the hectic world of Jujutsu. In fact, 'hectic' was putting it lightly.

Well, it's not like he was ringing Nanami up for anything stupid, like he normally does. Though, with that being said, this would count as something utterly stupid.

Nevermind that.

-----

Stepping out of the bakery, Nanami feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Stopping in his tracks, he pulls it out, scowling at the name that appeared.

What did that annoyance (affectionate) want this time?

He lets a few more rings pass before picking it up, expecting to hear Gojo's obnoxious voice seep through the phone, no doubt to ask him out on another infuriating shopping trip.

Instead, he was met with silence.

Sensing that something was wrong, Nanami made his way to a more secluded area. Was there trouble?

"Gojo-san? Are you there?"

Nanami listens to the other side of the line carefully. But all he hears is soft, even breathing.

"..Gojo-san."

The breathing slowly turns into the sound of ruffling cloth, before a small string of inaudible mumbles could be heard.

"Nanamiin..?"

Nanami felt a pulse in his head. Seriously. Did he just wake up or something?

"..You called me?"

"I did..? Oh.. right I.. I dihH-..G'xxt!! ..did, didn't I? ..ahh, wait.. let me remembHh'!! ..h'NgxXt!! hh-G'nt!! ..aggnh, Nanamin I'm s' srry, haah-"

Instead of replying, Nanami's eyebrows furrowed. That voice was definitely Gojo's, but just what was he blabbing on about?

And those sudden, breathy sounds, punctuated by.. a weird, heavy noise. What were those?

"Are you okay?"

"Mm, no. Not really. Actually.. Nanaminn, can you come over?"

"No."

"..P-G'nXt!! ..Please?"

"I'm not falling for your tricks again."

"N-No tricks.. Nanamiin, pleease.."

Nanami sighs, wondering why he even decided to go back as a teacher in the first place. Why didn't he just delete Gojo's contact all those years ago?

"Fine."

"Yaay, Nanamin!!"

Nanami sighs again (he does this a lot when he's dealing with Gojo), finger reaching over to end the call when-

"Naanaminn, can you also bring some fever medicine overr? I.. ran out."

Fever medicine?

He opens his mouth to ask about that, but was only met with the monotonous beep of an ended line.

-----

The phone slips out of his fingers, dropping onto the floor with a thud that thankfully sounded like the item didn't crack into pieces.

All he had to do now was wait.. huh.

Gojo felt his eyelids slide shut. He tried to force them open to no avail. Seriously.. when was the last time he felt this bad?

..It was probably way back then, when he had gotten stabbed through his neck down to his knees, left bleeding out on the ground.

His eyes slowly slid shut, plunging him into darkness.

Darkness..

...

..Satoru-

..Satoru-!

Gojo suddenly jolts awake, the sudden movement sending him curled into himself with a fit of coughing, the scene that woke him up from his nightmare still dancing behind his eyelids.

..10 years.. or was it 11? 12? How long has it been since that day? How long has it been since he was last shook awake from a similar nightmare, tears streaming down his eyes, unstoppable?

Seriously.. this fever might just prove to be more of a nuisance than he originally gave credit to.

Lost in his thoughts, Gojo barely managed to register the sound of his front door opening. Even in his tired state, his body unconsciously prepared to fight, a thin layer of Infinity forming around himself.

"Gojo-san?"

With a weary smile, Gojo dropped his defenses. He recognised that voice anywhere.

"You left your front door unlocked." Nanami sounded pissed off. No matter, the most important part was that he came. He came..

"Ahh.. did I?"

"I'm serious. What if someone had broken in?"

Gojo felt himself relax as the shadow of Nanami's form stretched pass his doorway. "Nobody would do such a thing.. I'm sure. To non.. s-sorcerers, I'm a nobody. And n-nobody else knows I live hhH'!! ..here. Except you."

"That's not an excuse."

"Lighten upp, Nanamiin, I'm fiiine. Anywayy, I'm so glad you camee- I was convinced you would've ignored me for goood."

"..."

Based on the scene in front of his eyes, Nanami could easily conclude that Gojo was, indeed, not fine. Not in the slightest.

But even he knew it was futile to argue with the other, even in the.. state he was currently in.

"..Hh-G'nX'cthh!! ..hiH'gnXshh'!!"

"Bless you." Nanami sighed. So those sounds over the phone were sneezes, then.

Gojo removed the fingers pinching his nose, waving them dismissively.

"I'm fhH'!! ..fine, don't worhH'!! ..worr'hH-!! ..hiH'gx-ShHe'w!!"

Nanami found himself wincing at the effort it seemed to take Gojo to keep those quiet.

Seriously, of all the people he knew, including those he used to know, Gojo was never one to stifle.. unlike-

"Na-na-min! Did you bring what I asked for?"

"..Mm. Fever medicine, right?"

"Ahh- thank youu!! How much do I owe y-you?"

"Consider this a gift."

"How kind!"

Nanami stares, unbelieving, frozen by the doorway. Despite his distance away from the bed, he could clearly see how badly Gojo was faring. The disheveled hair, reddish hue surrounding his cheeks and nose, the fact he was lying down instead of bouncing around the room.

Why? Why was he always trying so hard to seem fine? Even after all this time, why?

Finally making his way inside, Nanami drops the plastic bag into Gojo's open palm.

"..Oh..You bought the solid kind."

"Huh?"

Gojo slowly removes the box, shaking it in the air. "..Solid.. pills."

"Yes." Was the fever messing with Gojo's brain? What was he asking?

Nanami watches as a pout forms on the other's face. It would have been quite comical, if not given the current circumstances.

"Nanamiin, I can't swallow pills that are this big, remember? Liquid.. do you have liquid ones?"

Ah.. right. Nanami remembers having this conversation with someone before, about how Gojo couldn't take solid medicine to save his life. He remembers the conversation, from ages ago. The conversation with.. with-

"I'll get water for you." Nanami turns to leave, shaking the image of that Someone out of his mind.

"Ah- Nanamin! Wait!"

Nanami found himself freezing at the sudden desperation in Gojo's voice. The tone of a scared child. When was the last time he heard that sound come from the other..?

"What is it?" His own tone softened, a subconscious reaction.

"..Don't go, please."

Once again, Nanami finds himself speechless. A few seconds pass, before Gojo cleared his throat, eyes looking everywhere except where the other was standing. Embarrassment?

"..Sorry.. I- that- that came out by itself, haha-"

Nanami sighs. Through all the years they had known each other, Gojo had always been an easy read due to his expressiveness. Although.. there were some people could read him better than others.

Nanami was one of these people. Possibly one of the few that were left, at that. It was to be expected, especially since the two of them were all each other had years ago.

Turning back to face the bed, Nanami shrugs off his coat, gently pressing it into the mattress next to Gojo's head.

"Mm.?" Gojo looked up at him, confused.

"..Look after this for me, I'll be right back."

"Ah, of course."

Turning to leave the room once again, Nanami was met with no sounds of displeasure this time.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Gojo's fingers wrap tightly around his coat, watched as Gojo brought the article into his chest, face buried into its collar.

Nanami felt his eyes soften at the sight. Even after all these years, Gojo never really grew up.

He was still the senior that greeted Nanami with that stupid smile on the first day of school, the friend who had comforted him when he was crying his eyes out, the friend who needed the comfort when it was his turn to cry his eyes out, and now the colleague who loved his students more than words could describe.

All of that put into the shivering body on the lonely bed.

"..heh'shHEiw!! hiH'gSsH'iww!! hH'!! ..snff- hH'dZzchH!!"

The corridor was quiet, Nanami could hear every little sound coming from the bedroom. Gojo must've thought he was in the kitchen by now, judging by how he was no longer stifling.

..How considerate.

"hiH'dzZch'iww!! ..H'tchh! aH'ngsHE'iw!!"

Nanami decides that he would grab a box of tissues from the living room. He doubts that Gojo even had any in his room.

Honestly.. his level of self care was off the charts at times. There was only so much his technique could heal. Cuts, bruises, fractures. Not colds, not fevers, not broken hearts.

That's what Nanami was there for.

It was decided then. He would stay over until Gojo was back on his feet. Nodding to himself, Nanami reaches for a cup, filling it with water.

He should probably leave for a grocery run after Gojo goes to sleep. He wonders if the other had even eaten a bite after this had started.

Probably not.

"..h'gShHE'iww!! hAH'dZzcHH!! snff- g'tchh! 'tchh! 'zztch! h'gtch!!"

As Nanami approached the room, the fits of sneezes progressively got clearer and clearer. The last couple sounded itchy, he noted.

Like Gojo's photic fits.

He remembers the first time he witnessed one, remembers the tears that gathered at the edge of Gojo's eyes under the sun.

He remembers that period of time years ago where Gojo would always misplace his sunglasses.

Before that, it never used to be a problem, since a Someone would always be there to make sure he didn't lose them, to make sure they were always covering his sensitive eyes.

After that Someone was erased from their lives, Nanami took over. He was the one that gave Gojo the idea of wearing a blindfold instead.

..Perhaps 'erased' was a little too strong of an expression. 'Slipped' would have been a better word.

He slipped from both their lives, both of them did.

"Gojo-san.?"

Nanami peeks into the room, the sight in front of him tugging at his heart.

Gojo had curled even his legs up to his chest, the long coat tangled between his limbs. There was a small, damp patch on the collar of the clothing right below where Gojo's nose was.

Nanami found himself not caring too much about that fact. He was just glad. Glad that he was able to provide the other with some comfort.

People often forgot that Gojo was human too. Despite how he was extremely immature and smiling all the time, Nanami didn't know of another who went through as much pain as he did.

Sometimes, it was almost like Gojo himself too, forgot that he had limits.

"Ahh- Nanamin.. welcome back!"

You don't have to force yourself to sound so cheery all the time.

"I'm sorry I made such a fuss just now, you did nothing wrong."

You don't have to apologise for anything.

"I owe you one."

No. Nanami presses the cup gently to Gojo's lips. You don't owe me anything. It was my pleasure.

When Gojo struggled to get the pills down, Nanami stayed by his side, rubbing comforting circles into his back.

He didn't know what else to do, what else to say.

Nanami stares into Gojo's dull blue eyes, the colour muted due to his fever. He remembers the last time Gojo's eyes wore a similar shade. He remembers not knowing what to do then as well, except to stay by Gojo's side.

"I'm really glad you came, Nanamin."

Maybe this was all Gojo needed after all, someone to support him. Maybe this was enough.

"Thank youu-"

Nanami hummed in reply, setting the cup down as Gojo dissolved into another small coughing fit.

"You're welcome."

"Juice would have been better t-thouhH'!! ..hih'G'Nxt!! 'NgxXt!! ..snff-"

Instead of biting back with a quick "the only thing you have in your kitchen is coffee and sugar cubes", Nanami pulled a tissue out of the box, pressing it to Gojo's nose softly.

"N-anamin?! I.. I can..hH'!! ..do that myself-"

"I'll let go if you promise to stop stifling."

"Hah? What do you mhH'!! hIH'KsShh'iw!! ..snff- heH'DzZtchH!! ..fuck. I'm so sorry-"

Nanami gently wiped the edge of Gojo's nose before pulling the tissue away, replacing it with a fresh one.

"W-Wait.. NahH'!! ..Nanamin-! Be carfhH-!"

Turning as far away from Nanami as he could in their current position, Gojo clasps a shaky hand over the one on his nose, his breath hitching desperately.

"..N'GsHH'iww!! hIH'tCHH-w!! hH'!! ..haaH.. nngh-..heK'sHh!! t'chh!! dzZtchH!!"

Pulling away once more, Nanami pulled a few more tissues from the box, this time handing them straight to Gojo.

"..Always thinking ahead, hm? How'd you know to get these from outside?"

"Your sneezes always get rather messy." Nanami wants to say, but he remains silent.

"..I'm sorry you had to see that, anyway."

"Don't worry about it."

"Mmh.. I'm a little tired."

"You should get some rest then."

"Yeah.. join me?"

Not expecting that response, Nanami stares blankly at Gojo for several seconds, before his eyes travel down to his wrists, where Gojo had already latched his fingers around.

Not like he had the option to deny the request..

..That's not it, Nanami thinks as he shifts to lift the covers. Even if he had the option to say No, he still would have picked Yes.

Finally setting down next to the other, Gojo shifts his grip from Nanami's wrists to around his waist, pressing his damp nose into the crook of Nanami's neck, lips on his collarbone.

"Na-na-min."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For coming, and for staying."

"..."

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"..Promise?"

"Yes."

The grocery shopping could wait.

--end--

----------------

finishing notes: idk if the whole "gojo used to be with geto, and he still misses him" implication spoiled the nanago vibe of this fic

if it did, ahjhaesd IM SO SORRY

but i really, really REALLY, couldn't stop thinking about gojo and nanami using each other to heal from whatever tragedy befell upon them in the hidden inventory/premature death arc, and how they healed each other until eventually getting together.

that's all i have for now, thanks for reading!

Now I get to back to my week of examinations! Totally didn't spend hours writing this instead of studying for Economics! <3 <3

--5 days to Shibuya--

[taralen]

do u support or like spamtis.. (kris x spamton)

(This is a non-drawing response.)

No. So if you're hoping to see some of that from me, you're not going to, lol.

I know it's popular for some people, but I've never been a big fan of pairings like this. If Kris was an adult (like 20s at bare minimum), I think the dynamic would be cute, but Kris is too young. It goes into the realm of being "problematic," and I completely understand why people find it to be a stupid pairing. I have a friend who dislikes it for this reason.

I prefer them as friends/buddies with some emotional tension. Spamton is obsessed with Kris's soul more than Kris as a person (at least at the start), but we see by the end he comes to appreciate them with more respect.

I realize now some people are looking at the fact I follow some artists who like this pairing and probably think I like it, too. In all honesty, I only really follow these artists for their other stuff or just how they draw Spamton. I only care about HIM. Often times I have to delete the rest of the image in mind just to focus on HIM. I can't tell them, "Can you stop drawing that?" just because it's not my cup of tea. There are plenty of artists outside of this fandom who also draw crap that I don't like, but again, I can't say, "Can you please stop that" because I'm not their dad. I can like some stuff an artist does (like how they draw Spamton, for instance) and not like all the weird other stuff they do. One of my close friends draws a type of fetish art I don't like at all, but I'm not going to tell him, "Stop that. I don't like it."

Hell, I don't like Spamton x Jevil that much, either. I think that pairing deletes Spamton's coulrophobia, a major part of his character, just to make that work. I like some of the art people do of them, but I have to just think of it like an AU or OoC because Spamton, in character, would never go to bed with that bastard. The pairing is best as a joke, in my opinion, but some people absolutely adore them. I can't control what people like.

My all-time favorite pairing is Blue Addison x Spamton! I absolutely adore those two. Literally no better pairing that fits well with Toby's narrative style. Mike x Spamton is a possible ship as well, but since we don't know much about him, I have my reservations. Sometimes I like Pink Addison with Spamton, but eh... I prefer Blue Addison.

Hope that answers your question, anon!

[existential-feelings]

(Friendly reminder that everything said in this is fictional, I myself (the creator) am 100% okay, this is joke drama, I am in a stable living condition and everything said besides this little warning is all staged.)

'' So . I would like to come clean about a few things that have been speculating recently . This is honesty . This is going to be me wearing my heart on my sleeve as I talk about what's been going on with me outside of my job . And damn it , if my identity is revealed in the process , I don't care . As long as I give what friends I have left , some closure . ''

'' to explain the . . Images going around , I was staying at a friend's house for the time being . Moneys been really tough for me recently , and I hate going out and asking for assistance with any step of it . He offered for me to stay over , said I wouldn't need to get rid of my cat . . So I took the bait after being convinced . Just until I can get back on my feet and not have debt being dangled above my head . During the night , yes , there was some romance shared between me and the other man , who happened to be a cop . I haven't experienced something like that in years , he was so kind to me , even after learning who I was . I slept on that cops couch , ate his food , you know why ? Because he gave me an opportunity to be in a better living situation until I can afford a better spot on my own . It was the best option I could see to get my pet and myself into a better environment , instead of an apartment building that has a problem with looking clean . ''

'' I never wanted to turn to crime for that extra assistance with rent , but I just could not keep up with the demand for money at the end of each week . I have been working as a cop for the last 5 or so years , I'm balancing that with crime . And no , before more shit starts , I haven't shared , said , or shown anything to anyone . Neither of my occupations really know who I am , and I'd like for it to stay that way . The friends and people I have met through CRIMES are ones I don't think I can ever forget , they're probably the closest thing I will ever have to consider family . And I'm truly , deeply sorry if my actions that night had caused this family to be pulled apart . ''

'' . . . Alright , I'm cutting the ' nice ' bullshit . ' not naming names ' is off the table .''

'' I mean , I do care about this crew at the end of the day , but all this because I actually have a social life ? Hello ? ? Not to fucking mention , you ( you know who you are . ) invaded some guy's apartment security system and somehow found me chilling with him , I wasn't even on the clock . You're actually mental If you think I'm okay with this sort of stalking , , harassment ? ? What would this even be considered . . Anywho , I'd kiss that cloaker a million times over . People are acting like I told this guy everything there is to know about the gang . You know I'm NOTHING like that , for fucks sake , can we use our heads to think ? And y'know , I was snooping around in what files that CRIMES has about me . And , I found a lot of information that I have never admitted to anyone on this job ! Most of it is absolute bull , too ! I'm flattered you thought I had a loving family and got a degree in Harvard . I also found my face , countless times in that whole file all about me ! Ain't that funny , I don't remember sharing photos of me out partying outside of work ? Yet , here those photos are , me in a sparkly black dress . I took these photos on my actual phone , not my work phone . So if this company is so insistent on knowing everything they can get their hands on about one of their best spies , even after I had signed an agreement to only have documented what I approved on , then this company ain't for me ! :) ''

'' and don't worry , I already did you all the favor of deleting the files . I stole a hard drive and input all of my information onto it , you're left with nothing about me , not even my mask design is in that database any more . And y'know , I'd be more than willing to work for Shade and all these other people if a better option wasn't available . I am not on bad terms with anyone who is a part of CRIMES . I'll obviously still be in contact with my friends , that won't change . I do feel bad for whatever trust I have ' broken ' from this , but at the same time , people are gonna have opinions on you no matter what you do . ''

'' this absolute bias bullshit , you have a heister sucking face with a dozer and nobody says shit , but the second a woman goes with a cloaker ? fOr ShAmE ? ? ''

'' I am now working for a much better , human , man that I so happen to be very close with . My inbox will remain open for those who want to still say hello . I think that covers everything I wanted to say , I'm probably gonna quit ! ! 🫶 ''

[multi-fandom-agereg]

HIII!!! I loved the Venti headcanons, so I am back for more!

Anyways, is it possible I could get babyre Wanderer with Caregiver!Nahida? Nahida suggested agere to him as a way to cope with his trauma !

(also, padded wanderer? I tried to find on your posts if you stated you were uncomfortable with mentions of padding but found nothing, sorry! Just ignore this part if you are uncomfortable with it!)

[Id text: "Regressor Wanderer" end id.]

ⓘ 🩹🩹 Hello again!!^^ thank you for requesting! I'd like to note that I'm not at all uncomfortable with Padding or padded hcs! As someone who needs to wear them medically, I'm more than happy to post about them! (Hc speaking jsjs) I did mention it in the past but I occasionally delete old posts so most likely it was mentioned in a deleted post. But I did add it in my pinned post 🩹🩹

ⓘ In-game spoilers!! So if you haven't gotten far into the game yet and don't want spoilers I will put (ⓘ) next to the hc(s) so you can skip them. Though as someone who didn't go far into the game to meet Wanderer, some of the hcs may be extra to fit the idea of wanderer being an age regressor. Ex; background with Nahida. Will probably mess the background slightly so I can make it hc accurate as possible (though trying not to change whole lot)

Anyways, enjoy! I wanted to do regressor Wanderer for awhile but I forgot. This is my excuse to do it 🙌

Regressor Wanderer (With caregiver! Nahida) 🍼

tw/cw: injury mentioned (bleeding)

🦆 || Wanderer is an age regressor. specifically a baby regressor! He regresses around 0-1ish age range. However he doesn't label his age whenever it's mentioned. (But he still is a baby regressor) He just doesn't like to admit it

🦆 || Wanderer is the type of little to have his baths be fancy. He requires baby lotion, baby shampoo (the one that doesn't hurt his eyes), alot of bubbles, toys and rubber ducks. Also he specifically baths in cold water. It makes him feel more little (plus it works wonders for him when he's roleplaying with his toys in the bath)

🦆 || even at his little age, he doesn't need assistance in the bath. All he needs help with is the shampoo bit and that's all he needs. He can spend hours in the bath if he so wished to. Then after he gets out and requires to help dry with his hooded towel. → But he will be a very fussy baby if he is told to leave the bath before his story with his toys ends. (He HATES cliffhangers in his own story afterall)

🦆 || when he's little he has random zoomies. He mostly does it when his mind is on idle mode. (Technically spaced out in irl terms I think?) So when he's spaced out his body goes on autopilot and he'll run. And run. And run some more. Majority, if not all the time, he's extremely hard to catch

ⓘ 🦆 || after being abandoned by Raiden Ei : that's when Wanderer shut down the world around him. He refused to trust anyone or anything for a very long time. Until however, Nahida met him one night when she noticed Wanderer loitering around. Since then, she took him in

🦆 || it took several months up to a year for Nahida to gain Wanderer's trust. Slowly working with him until he was able to trust again

🦆 || speaking of trust, shortly after Nahida gained Wanderer's trust, Nahida noticed how wanderer suffers from his last trauma and how much he mourns to live his life as a normal human being. Sooo- ↓↓↓

🦆 || Nahida basically introduced him to regression! She explained it and told him it was a healthy coping mechanism for inner child healing. At first, wanderer didn't know how to feel about it. In all honesty he took it negatively. Thinking Nahida was just babying him and refused to talk more about it because he was, "too big for something like that". Until just a week or so later after a PTSD episode with unwanted memories of his past, Wanderer decided to give it a shot. Nahida coaxed him into being little and ever since, she became his caregiver

🦆 || still calls Nahida "Lord Kusanali Nahida" but lately he's been getting used to calling her "sis(sy)" when little. If he's little and does call her by the title he normally calls her, he'd call her "lorb Kawa" since he can't form words too well

🦆 || either nonverbal or verbal. It mostly depends on the day. Most of the time when he's verbal he will babble for hours if you let him. When he's nonverbal he is more, less energetic and prefers low energy activities

ⓘ 🦆 || wears bandaids for the aesthetic of it. Even if he's not really human and is capable of still getting injured and bleeding, he prefers bandaids in places he doesn't need them. So if he did get a scrape, he refused to use a bandaid. So when his knees aren't scraped up, he has bandaids all over them! Because why not?

🦆 || is a padded regressor. Since he regresses so young, he isn't potty trained enough to use the bathroom on his own. Though most of the time he wears padding for comfort reasons. They make him feel a lot more smaller and refuses not to wear them

🦆 || hear me out, possible permaregressor wanderer?? Since he technically doesn't have an age and doesn't age, what if he is a permaregressor because it's an age he feels more comfortable when little?? Orrr he regresses 80% of the time and is more little then big

🦆 || duck obsessed. He loves ducks so so much. He has many rubber duckies, plushies, themed sippy cups, and alot of duck themed everything. He even has a duck shirt, pants and onesie!

🦆 || regresses at a very young age, however isn't much of paci fan. Of course he will use it occasionally- but sippy cups? That's where it's at. Not limited to- small rubber spoons and baby foods. His favorite little snack is Yogurt melts

🦆 || in a modern timeline, he is definitely an iPad kid. His favorite show to watch is more early 2000's shows like sesame street, invader Zim and maybe SpongeBob too

🦆 || Back to Nahida, she is an amazing caretaker for Wanderer! She is so sweet, patient, loving and very gentle with him. Which honestly is what he needed after suffering for so long into his life. Another pos to Nahida, she's literally cuddle size. She is the perfect teddy bear for wanderer. And yep, he does pick her up and take her everywhere his legs can take him. People would probably mistaken him as her dad/older brother and the child. When it's the complete opposite

🦆 || has his very own crib. He doesn't go a night without sleeping in it + without having some sort of white noise on. He will refuse to sleep if the fan isn't on and his tv isn't on when he's asleep

[ravenhive555]

I used to watch Critical Role

It will always have a place in my heart. But this is more of an apology for feeling this way. Because in the end I think all I wanted was to friends with them.

I'm not a special person and I'm not beautiful. This isn't me asking for pity I've been having nightmares and want to get this out.

I used to watch the show from 2017 to 2021. It got me out of a very deep and even a suicidal depression. And then I started watching it and it got me out of that state of mind. I started doing fan art, which was terrible, it was all pencil work and not digital. It got likes though. 2 of them ended up in the gallery. I even got to meet Laura and Travis. It was going to good. I mean who doesn’t have a crush on Laura and as for Travis he’s honesty my first man crush he’s such a chuckle head and a literal BFG.

But then after a while I lost track of why I was doing it. I wanted to do art that mattered. Then I got addicted to the likes, validation and the attention. Which is a wonderful feeling. Then came the anger, hatred and most of all envy. Which the only word I can use to describe it was "traumatic" because I'd never felt it before. Then after let's say 2020 and on to 2021 watching it didn't feel like fun anymore. It felt more like a job. I know it's stupid. And every week that feeling you get of "No I don't want to go to work" kept coming back and the superstitions, rituals began to grow and grow I was obsessed with good and bad luck, I stopped watching shows believing they were bad luck, same with food, interactions and so on. Then round about March 2021 I stopped.

I deleted my old accounts my very old Tumblr page, Twitter even Reddit. Which I rarely used. And I began to hear myself think. Also, I got yelled at for wrong think and especially with the shippers.

And funny enough my sister and her fiancé started watching it now their fans. I gave them all the merch I brought over the years.

In truth I think all I wanted was to hang out and have friends. Friends like them. To be friends with the beautiful people and to feel that need to be special among them. To feel important. That platonic love. Which I think a lot of people want. And to have that sense of drive to keep pursuing what I want.

Then a few years later, (without mentioning names) a certain artist I used to like pretty much destroyed her own career. Because she did DND content with pencil art. Then she started attacking other content and comic's people and destroyed their lives. Now her accounts are gone.

Recently I've been having nightmares but in the form of flashbacks of how I felt at the time years ago. I want it all the stop. So, by writing this, it isn't me asking for pity it's to get it all out. So, I guess I'm not special or beautiful. I think all I really wanted was to be friends with the beautiful people, to be needed and to feel important. I'm sorry. And I did try several times to play dnd but...that's a whole other story. Oh my god that was bad.

Now I'm scared of posting this on twitter and tagging Matt in. Because he's probably as busy with everything around him.

So, I hope they do well.

[venusofvolterra]

I have a question for you based on your headcanon on Demetri. I'm sorry if you've answered this already though in previous posts. I wanted to know the relationship dynamic between Demetri and Felix. Obviously, you've stated that Demetri would be a toxic partner, but how does that bleed into his relations with others (especially Felix)? Felix is pretty levelheaded and grounded so he would know and identify his behaviour, right? How do you view their relationship, the bond and the healthiness of it all? Does he have any boundaries with Demetri? Does Felix address his behaviourisms and trauma with Him, and keep him in line in a brotherly way or turn a blind eye? personally, I doubt Felix would stay completely silent if Demetri did perse get a mate and was manipulative, toxic (even emotionally abusive?) to them.

and how do Felix and Demetri maintain a stable and somewhat healthy bond? Because, in all honesty, I doubt you could stay friends with someone for over 1000 years if the relationship was utterly toxic.

if you don't answer questions right now, feel free to delete this, I just wanted your take on it! I hope you're having a great week though, Lovely xx

(that was longer than I anticipated, sorry)

Thanks for the question anon! My week has been okay but I hope yours is lovely!

This is quit a long ask so I’m gonna break it down into pieces that I think will help us understand some of my thoughts/HC regarding this.

On human/vampire relationships in general:

It’s important to understand first that I do think with the way that it is written in Twilight it is virtually impossible for there to be a healthy relationship between a vampire and a human. 

From the pheromones, to the strength, to the clear power imbalances any human would have in a relationship with a member of the Volturi guard, there is simply no advantage a human would have over either Felix or Demetri.

On Felix’s character:

I would also like to reiterate that Felix is not necessarily a good person. He might be very protective of those he cares about but doing his duties require at the very least indifference to the value of life and most likely even some enjoyment for what he does. In book canon, he makes several off color comments about killing Bella and about her looks.

Also Felix eats people guys. I know we all love him and have very fanciful ideas about him as a mate but realistically, he’s probably not interested in having a human mate long term and is probably eager to turn them.

Many of those power imbalances that make a relationship with a vampire unequal are very much present in a relationship with Felix — maybe even more so.

That said, I think you’re right to point out that he wouldn’t go out of his way to add to it but I can’t pretend Felix is free of these behaviors entirely.

On Demetri’s character:

I’ve expressed in this post how I see Demetri as being particularly sadistic. While I stand by that, even if he is more sadistic than some members of the Volturi/guard he’s not the most sadistic.

If his behavior somehow was too much for the Volturi he simply wouldn’t be in it. Ergo, it’s not. So while it isn’t exactly how Felix would behave, he has no qualms.

I also see Demetri as someone who would be controlling in a relationship. This is mostly because once again, he does not want his mate to stay human very long and will do whatever it takes to get them to agree to the change.

If we’re getting into some of my personal Demetri lore, some of this is left over anxiety following the death of his wife as a human. Despite that human memories tend to fade for vampires over time, I imagine core parts of their psychology at the time of turning stay relatively cemented (this is a hc to make the memory thing make more sense bc it really wouldn’t work given modern psychology). Thus, while he may not remember the details of why he reacts this way, he does.

It is also within the subtext of canon that the Volturi expect new vampires to cut off all their previous friends and family — I can’t imagine it’s any different for their own mates.

On Felix and Demetri’s relationship:

Simply put, they don’t really have that same toxicity between them — logistically there isn’t reason for there to be.

As it goes for them, they’re pretty much on equal footing. They rank similarly, they’re both vampires, they both have the same goals, and anyone they loved as a human is long dead.

Anything that might bog down a human friendship, like for example, significant time spent apart, isn’t a big deal for vampires — especially ones as old as them.

I do think Felix might stick up a bit for a vampire mate of Demetri’s if he was being unfair but even his own kings keep their wives drugged up in a tower, so he might sympathize to some extent with wanting to protect your mate to the nth degree even if he’s not in agreement with it. It all depends on the specific situation.

TLDR; what we consider moral/amoral and abusive in relationships doesn’t fully translate to vampires. They’re inherently kind of toxic and amoral so they have their own entirely separate understandings of those things.

Alrighty! I hope that answers some of questions about my interpretations of Felix and Demetri, let me know if you have any further ponderings!