#in a perfect scenario i would have the trans aro ace and aroace flag

[solsono]

your profile icon genuinely sparks so much joy, it's so fkn cool !

omg thank you!! i love updating my picrew! i especially love having flags in the background! but i wanted more than two, so i had to get creative :)

I adore your profile icon too, the vibes are immaculate :) recently I wore green eyeshadow, similar to what your profile icon has, and it was so fun! I gotta do it more often

[aromagni]

Acceptance ≠ Inclusion

In my experience, IRL queer spaces are far more accepting of aro (and ace) people than online ones are.....but unfortunately acceptance is not the same as inclusion.  They don’t intend to do it, but there’s a lot of little things which can often leave me feeling alienated.

Everyone saying “gay” as if it applies to everyone of this group....even if the bi/pan people identify with it, it can alienate not only aroaces like myself but also straight trans people.

“Love is Love” and acting like marriage equality solved all our problems when it didn’t.

People dismissing my concerns when I say we should include the “A” at the end of “LGBTQ”, or that we should get more flags-because if we don’t have it visible that aro & ace people are accepted then they’ll be scared away.  I’ve literally had someone who was ace come in afraid that they wouldn’t be accepted there because they are ace.

Using amatonormative language in presentations, expecting that everyone must want a partner

When I asked my “close” friends to tone down the romance while I’m around because it upsets me, and they basically told me that my comfort didn’t matter, that they’d rather I not be there at all than to abstain from romantic stuff for a little while in a scenario which isn’t inherently romantic at all.

They can say they accept me, but actions speak louder than words and when it comes down to it they don’t care to actually make the space inclusive for people like me.  We expect people to use gender neutral language because of trans/nonbinary people, but apparently asking them not to assume everyone wants romance is too “hard” for them to bother.  The worst part is that often I do not feel safe enough to mention these things that upset me because it’s clear they won’t care enough to change and not a single person there would support me. And despite it all, I continue to engage in my college’s queer community from a leadership position, in order to try and make things better.  While it’s not perfect, it’s still better than any other irl community I have access to so I might as well make the best of it.