#in a lot of ways i think 'thos side of paradise' episode is being referenced in the first part

[universalcaffination]

Once I Smiled

A song by Leonard Nimoy & Charles R. Grean (1968)

Once I smiled a smile so rare,

Loved a girl boy with golden hair

Acted like a human boy

That would pause on clouds of joy

Ran through fields like a child of the ground

Kissed and touched with a silent sound

Swung from trees like a monkey pup,

Saw the world from downside up

Then reality came crushing,

Drowned my joy with human pain.

"Don't go!"

"Must go."

Never again!

Once I smiled a smile so rare,

Loved a girl boy with golden hair

Ran through fields like a child of the ground

Kissed and touched with a silent sound

Now inside I keep my pearl,

An image of a golden girl boy,

Locked away in a secret part

Covered and hid in a seashell heart.

Listen for yourself here!

[mittensmorgul]

1- Oh, I guess we must have different interpretations of it then. Cuz in 7.21, Cas says, "They're from the Garrison – my old Garrison... I was there captain." And then in season 4.16, Dean says to Cas, "Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?" implying Cas had previously been in charge, but his superiors switched things up when they saw how he was acting with Dean.

2- It seemed to me that Cas took over the garrison after Anna fell. I know Zachariah was always his superior, but Cas was still captain of the garrison. Anyway, I always just thought it strange that Cas was given any authority, even tho we know from Naomi that he's "Never done as he's told. Not completely." I know in canon, we only SEE him being reprogrammed a couple times, but this line implies he's always been a troublemaker.

***

Ok, I was confused. In 7.21, the only time he ever mentions being captain, it’s... odd. It’s hesitant, almost like he can’t really believe it. It’s practically an afterthought. It’s possible he was just the next guy in line in the hierarchy after Anna fell. But knowing what we know of his position even in 1901 (when he wasn’t even in charge of his own flight yet), and that Anna had been in charge until her fall (which we know happened in 1985, making her human body 25 in 4.09, so Cas’s leadership role would’ve spanned less than that amount of time), and the fact we don’t know what exactly being a “Captain” entails-- was that (with later canon about him having his own flight) equivalent to Ishim’s position in 12.10? Or was that equivalent to Anna’s position before her fall? It’s just... not clear enough for me to make firm statements about it. Heaven hierarchies in this show are just... mishmosh mostly.

Regardless: Here’s the quote from the superwiki transcript:

DEAN: Cas, what happened back there? Who were those guys?CASTIEL: They're from the Garrison – my old Garrison. Looks like Hester's taken over. We were assigned to watch the earth. Often, it was boring. The wars were very boring and the sex – you know, the repetition. Anyway, I was, uh... I was their captain. Isn't that strange?

There’s also the fact that Cas was... really, really not himself in this episode. Since this is the only time he gives himself the label of “captain,” and it happens to be in the same episode where he repeatedly refused to engage with reality, declared “I watch the bees,” booped a prophet on the nose, and deflected all responsibility for, like... everything... 

I think his OWN surprise (and the “Isn’t that strange?”) at the fact he was ever a leader of any sort in Heaven (especially considering he led the rebellion in s6, not because he wanted to, but because he was the rallying point for all the angels who didn’t want the apocalypse) lines up pretty well with YOUR feeling of confusion over why such a rebel would’ve ever been put in a position of authority like that. But honestly? If you’ve got someone who breaks rules a lot, put them at the top of the pile where you can keep an eye on them. I mean, that’s one strategy to deal with a troublemaker, I suppose?

It’s also possible that during one of his reprogramming attempts, they programmed him to believe he’d been in charge before, but now I’m getting into “this is definitely not canon” territory, just trying to explain away Cas’s obvious bewilderment by that statement. Because it’s weird.

You’d think if he’d been In Charge at the time he rescued Dean from Hell, he would’ve announced himself like he was in charge, and not just another subordinate following orders. It’s yet another reason that waiting nearly four years after he’s introduced as a character to reveal that tidbit of info, and then only giving it to us in this strange non sequitur of a comment while Cas is barely engaged with reality, and then never mentioned the fact again over the ensuing 7 seasons... I have a hard time giving it much weight, you know? Especially knowing how LITTLE trust Heaven showed in Cas, right from the start. Throughout s4, even before Cas rebelled, had to be reprogrammed, and then broke free again in 4.22, he... was not anywhere NEAR the top of the information food chain.

Cas had no idea that Uriel was a double agent for Team Lucifer until after it nearly cost Dean his life. Cas had no idea that the angels weren’t trying to STOP the apocalypse, but were actively working to bring it about. When he found out their true plan... that’s when Heaven brought him back for reprogramming, in 4.20, before he could pass that information on to Dean. Which makes me think if Cas ever was in charge of the garrison, it was a largely ceremonial title, since he was otherwise entirely left out of the loop of actual in-charge-ness, you know? Even Uriel, his supposed subordinate before 4.16, seemed far more aware of what was really going on.

And considering the fact that it was later widely known that the apocalypse had been long prophesied, and Dean himself had been a part of that prophecy, it seems like they had to actively withhold that information from Cas for him not to have been aware of it, you know? Was that part of the reason they had to mind wipe him so many times? Because he HAD been aware (like, if he was in charge of the garrison for a time) and OBJECTED? To all of it? And that’s why he lost his position, as we saw happening throughout s4?

(as an aside here, it also makes one wonder if that’s why Anna chose to fall, as well. As sort of a conscientious objector to the entire apocalypse agenda... until she was again reprogrammed after Cas turned her in in 4.21)

Now all of this is conjecture, but I’ve never adequately been able to justify the fact of Cas having been in charge of the Garrison, considering just how little he’d known of what was really going on. And that, combined with Zachariah collectively lumping him in with the foot soldiers of Heaven in 4.22... well, that sort of makes Cas out to be a dupe of heaven if he had been placed in the Captain’s Chair, you know? So I think I personally prefer to not think of him as actually having been in charge, of any of it. From 4.22:

DEAN: But me and Sam, we can stop... (he cuts off, having an epiphany) You don't want to stop it, do you?ZACHARIAH: Nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you.DEAN: What was all that crap about saving seals?ZACHARIAH: Our grunts on the ground -- we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?DEAN: But why?ZACHARIAH: Why not? The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing -- puts people off. When all it is is Ali/Foreman. On a... slightly larger scale. And we like our chances. When our side wins -- and we will -- it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?

The angels who hadn’t known the truth were what Zachariah considered “grunts.” Not management, you know? I have such a difficult time reconciling the reality of what we knew from s4 with the baffled statement Cas made in 7.21. Almost as if he realized how he’d been used by Heaven while the real control happened way above his own head. He was just as manipulated as the Winchesters were. I think that realization truly did baffle him at the time.

But the line in 4.16 I assumed was referencing 4.07, 4.09, and 4.10, in which Uriel followed Cas’s lead throughout those episodes. It was clear there that Uriel was the subordinate, even when he appeared to be barely restrained and visibly and vocally didn’t approve of Cas’s orders. I think that’s what Dean’s referencing there.

The other thing is that, as much as I love him and his writing, 7.21 was written by Ben Edlund, who has famously put a few other odd lines like this into Cas’s mouth over the years. Edlund... adored Cas. And he often elevated Cas in these sorts of subtle ways. Like in 8.05, having Cas refer to himself as a seraph (the only time in canon Cas ever uses that word for himself, and the only other time it’s ever been said in canon was in 12.10 as part of Akobel’s death sentence that Cas read out). No other angel has referred to themselves nor any other angel with this title in canon. So... let’s say I have a few items on the list of “this is Edlund canon” in the same way I have my feud with Robbie Thompson over his obsession with the Samulet. It’s one of those things I would really need to hear from any other writer in any other context for me to assume it was the full and honest truth in a way that fit in with the reality of the entire rest of canon. Because it kinda... doesn’t...