#impossible-rat- babies

[theramblingsofadork]

I’m sure some of you have already seen this from my blog banner, but I figured why not celebrate my return by sharing a WIP of the entire Starpoint Squad! ✨💫

[depressed-sock]

Attack on @impossible-rat-babies

Alternative title: Dawn of a new day

[lavampira]

emotional co-tanking or gay south melodrama for the wip round up? :O

wip roundup

ty friend!! 🖤

I’ll go with the good ol’ GAY SITH MELODRAMA for this one — it’s an older one but always on my brain, and it’s during the pining era of my sith oc, cadrien, and @hythlodaes’ sith oc, minaiph, who have been best friends since training together on korriban, then became sith lords who are assigned together on missions and begin to make a name for themselves, but they are. so very in love. and also so very scared of ruining their friendship. even though cadrien has sacrificed himself and nearly died for min, too. so this fic is cadrien’s pov of trying to deal with his feelings for min in increasingly dumb ways, like trying out casual dating (or ONS) with a mutual friend’s friend to get over it, and how it strains their friendship in their avoidance of those feelings, before cadrien realizes he can’t (and doesn’t actually want) to get over how he feels for min, and things start to mend.

AND A SNIPPET OF IT:

Too soft fingers brush over the gnarled skin of his shoulder, making him freeze with the gentle touch. “What is this from?”

“Don’t.”

It comes out sharper than Cadrien intends. His voice is hoarse, quiet in the still room beneath the low rumbling of thunder outside the windows, but laced with an undercurrent of warning that he knows is palpable. Confusion mixes with nervousness and flickers in Eli’s aura, but the other man is smart enough not to press the issue. Instead, he lets his hand fall back to the pillows above his head, giving him some distance.

Cadrien draws himself upright, brushing back the sweaty hair from his forehead.

“I’m sorry.” Eli pauses, clearing his throat. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t know,” Cadrien returns.

Nobody did—that was part of the problem. The scar is a mark he’ll wear for the rest of his life, branded by the reminder that when it comes down to it, only one person means enough to him that he’d make that sacrifice. Only one person knows of its existence in relation to what he did. And no matter how hard he tries to get rid of the feelings brought on by that pivotal choice, he simply can’t get him out of his head. He’s a fool for thinking that he could.

[kirnet]

🔥 :D

DING DING you are the winner of my blue submarine no 6 rant!!

For context: blue sub no 6 is a 4 part OVA from the nineties about a post apocalyptic world that was intentionally flooded by an evil scientist, leaving the vast majority of humanity dead and the rest living the best they can on the water. It kind of sucks? I am now obsessed with it. No one will know what the fuck I’m talking about.

Because there is only this OVA and an untranslated manga from 1967 that I can’t track down, another 5 part manga from the 90s that i dont think was translated either, and two untranslated video games, I am forced to scrounge the bottom of the barrel from fucking reddit for any sort of discussion. The following is my response to those overwhelmingly negative reactions.

All of the characters get criticized as shallow, which to some degree I can agree with because it is a short series (about 2 hours) with a lot of characters, but I think a lot of it is just a blatant refusal to engage with them in any meaningful way. Hayami isn’t a jaded asshole just bc his friend died, he’s a jaded asshole bc his trigger happy impulses directly led to his friend’s death! Because he’s actually a super sensitive and compassionate man as shown in the series even when he doesn’t want to be!! He’s an addict who has to self medicate to ease the pain because he cares SO MUCH. And a lot of blue sub’s characterization and world building is subtle, not a lot is really told to you. It has these beautiful moments of silence that just show you character and worldbuilding, which people hate bc I guess it confuses them? Did they pay attention?? And yes a lot of the other characters dont really get a lot of depth, but they still feel like real people in the little moments you get with them. It feels like a fleshed out world with real dynamics and real people that you were just dropped in the middle of, which many won’t like, but I think its better than spoonfeeding you every bit of information.

People also shit on the ending, which I get it is actually not an ending. It’s a very open ended end with really no conclusion. I think that fits with the uncertainty of humanity going forward in this world. There’s also a lot of criticism of the villain, who unfortunately is the the weakest part of the show when he should be the strongest, but I think a lot of this is bc of the above reasons. He’s an ecofascist who thinks that there were too many people on earth so he sped up global warming and flooded the majority of the world. Idk, maybe that hits closer to home now than it did in the 90s, but real communities are threatened by the sea and there are very real perpetrators of climate violence. His motivation is weak and kind of non existent- which is a fault of the story, but also like. what actual reason is there to justify something like this other than he was a rich powerful guy who could? Again, maybe it’s just because I’m looking at it in a very modern lens and reading too much into it (I surely am), but there’s a reason it doesn’t really bother me.

I’m gonna stop here before I explode. I dont think i can in good conscience really recommend it to anyone? but if someone does watch please tell me please

[scionshtola]

oooo what about 20 and 25 for Cori? :D for the WoL ask meme!

thank you owen!! 💗

20. Of all the places they’ve been to, which is their favorite? Do they like to go back there?

There are two places I think Cori really liked: Thavnair/Radz-at-Han and funnily enough, the Rak'tika Greatwood. Cori lived the early part of her life in Valnain, a port city in Dalmasca, until their family was driven out by the Garlean occupation (some time between the ages of 5 and 10...I change my mind a lot lol). After that they lived a bit deep in the Golmore Jungle until they were in their mid twenties at least. So Radz-at-Han and Rak'tika remind them a lot of home! The architecture, the food, being by the sea...it's kind of them getting to experience something that was lost to them? And in Rak'tika, it was just kind of comforting to be surrounded by nature again. But tbh Cori enjoys most of the places they've been! They just love getting to see new places and experience different cultures, and have a particular love of nature. They really like visiting the Steppe as well, especially when they're in a mood to star gaze.

25. Do they have any habits or rituals that they do to soothe themselves? I.e. Playing with their hair, chewing their lip, fidgeting, etc.

They will play with their hair, mostly running their fingers through it if it's down or tugging at the bottom of their braid, when they feel uncomfortable or anxious or tbh just when they're kind of thinking things through. I don't think they do much that will make it obvious they need to self-soothe, the real tell will be that they seemed fine and then disappeared off to the chocobo stables to brush Cilantro or go for a walk with him lol

[antisocialxconstruct]

Ahhh happy birthday Charlie!! I hope you can find all the little joys in life this year, and that you get to accomplish your goals! (even just the little ones ;—;)

aaa thank you!! 😭😭😭 I'm anticipating some big changes this year but I feel like they're gonna be for the better, I hope I'm right hhhghg

[gothmothgoblin]

december is hard bc its cold and dark and where is the sun? no one is around and everyone is upset. everyone is broke and reliving shit w their family from the past and grieving another year lost and worrying for the future. all the plants are dead and everyone is sick and everyones lips are chapped, noses raw.

its so hard for me to leave my room its so hard for me to get up its so hard for me to remember all the reasons i have been getting up this whole time.

my friends leave to go home and come back Different but never Okay

[hylfystt]

omg happy birthday friend!!! :D <3

tysm owen!!!! 💜💜💜

[cherry-cola-on-ice]

Slashers with a sleepwalking s/o

AN: totally based off my personal experiences sleepwalking lol asked my friends and family what their favorite sleepwalking episode was.

Jason Voorhees 🏕

Jason is already paranoid AF about you unknowingly wandering into a trap during the day.

But the first time he comes across you in the woods at night? When you should be asleep?

He is not a happy man. Many thoughts run through his mind. Are you trying to leave him? Trying to get yourself hurt? Would you rather die then be with him?

It takes him a good while and a lot of explaining for him to understand what's happening. That your not intentionally doing this. Science shit™️

He sets up a system. Maybe a bell or two. Something loud to let him know where you are. Maybe some trip wires.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: He watched you eat a entire sleeve of saltines while standing in the shower.

Michael Myers 🎃

Michael's seen some shit. So this is nothing. All those years in Smiths Grove have prepared him for this. So you sleepwalk? Cool, his neighbor at Smiths Grove used to eat cockroachs.

That being said, the closer you're relationship grows, the more worried he becomes. What if you fall down the stairs? What if you wander into the road? What if, what if, what if??

He doesn't have the foresight to set up traps, like Jason does.

Uses his fucked up sleep schedule to his advantage and often stands over your sleeping body. Jumpscare.

Will definitely tie a bell on you while you sleep. Totally not a collar what are you saying? Don't make it kinky.

The strangest thing he's seen you do: Put all of the remotes in the refrigerator because they needed batteries.

Thomas Hewitt 🥩

Poor sweet man. You're going to give him a heart attack one of these days.

However, he's probably one of the more better prepared of the lot. His house is set up to keep people in and out. So there isn't much danger you can get into.

Unless he forgets to lock up the basement. Which has happened once. And only once. You were fairly unharmed if not a little traumatized.

Has taken to locking your bedroom door. Also installs like 10 latches. AND puts a bell on the doorknob. And maybe sometimes you.

Look, he's already scared of losing you to somebody else, he doesn't want to have to worry him losing you to you.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Him, Monty and Hoyt sat and watched you stand in front of the sink for a hour and a half. Just standing there. Menacingly

Brahms Heelshire 🐀

Oh, poor baby is confused. Especially at the start of your situation-ship. You don't know he's there, you just think you're babysitting a doll for a sad old couple. Not their grown ass son who lives in the walls.

The first time Brahms finds you sleepwalking, he's pissed. You trying to leave him, he knows you are. But... did you just snore?? Wait, you're asleep. He feels a little better about the situation.

Until you start walking towards the stairs. Boy's never moved so fast in his life. He knows if he wakes you up it's game over. So he gives you a gentle nudge back to your room.

Now after you find about the rat man in the walls, things are different. Brahms, even in the deepest REM cycle, will never let you go. Man is a koala and you are the tree he's clinging to for dear life. It's almost impossible to escape his arms at night.

Almost makes you sleep in the walls instead of the bedroom so you're safer. Like ain't no way you're getting out of those without him waking up.

Strangest thing he's seen you do: Sat up in bed, complaining about the maracas in your mouth??? He cried.

Billy Lenz 🎄

World's worst caretaker 👑

Especially before yall start dating because, at that point in time, he's still trying to decide if he wants to kill you. He won't lie, he very briefly thought about pushing you down the stairs.

But? After you win him over? Yeah still kinda sucks ass at keeping you from hurting yourself. He'll keep you alive, mind you, just a little worse for wear.

He asked you once if he could tie you down in bed. You didn't like the look in his eyes so you declined. Billy pouted for the next three days.

TBH he might do it anyways. Look he's just trying to keep your silly little self safe, S/O. Get your mind out of the gutter. Haha, jk...unless 😏?

The strangest thing he's seen you do is eat a entire bag of gummy bears while standing outside. He joined you.

Vincent Sinclair 🖌

Another prepared king 👑

His workshop is dangerous. Upstairs is dangerous. The whole town is health code violation. And bby cannot stand the idea of you hurting yourself.

But other then the constant anxiety that you'll some how end up falling off the stairs or falling into the wax or the any other number of things his brain comes up with, he's very level-headed.

Child safety locks. He buys that shit in bulk.

But hey, gives him a excuse to hold you at night. (Vincent, they're literally your s/o)

The strangest thing he's seen you do is stand over Bo's bed, chanting tomato. Bo almost cried.

Bo Sinclair 🔧

Definition of "Look at that idiot...oh wait that's my idiot!"

Honestly, probably the worst. Not like 'let's you just walk around' worst, but more like 'Imma gonna chain you to the bed' worst.

Dude's so scared of losing you, pretty much the best thing that ever happened to him, that his willing to go to drastic matters to keep you safe.

Don't try to explain the science behind it, you'll only give him a migraine. Just let him keep you safe. K, bby?

Bo's gonna lose sleep some nights, he's that scared. No doubt you will wake up to the feeling of someone watching you. Just comfort him, ok?

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit up in bed and start singing 'Livin La Vida Loca'

Asa Emory 🪲

Number one prepared king™️

I'm not saying he may or may not, kinda sorta perhaps placed cameras around your living situation before you two even began dating. But yeah he did.

So he knows all about the crazy shenanigans you are up to at night.

He reads the books, watching online lectures 👏all👏the👏research. You can bet your sweet ass he knows exactly how to wake you up in case of emergency.

In the same breath, despite how much he does love you, science. Prepare to be studied like a bug under a microscope.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is standing with the refrigerator doors open, telling him how much you love this show.

Norman Bates 🚿

My poor sweet innocent murder bby. He doesn't know what to do.

Yeah, keep you safe, he's got that much down. But at what cost?

The hotel looks like a a daycare center now. Baby proofing everywhere (ask him about getting locked out of the bathroom, it's funny)

Suggested a collar once as a joke, wasn't expecting you to agree. Got flustered. Dropped his cup, maybe got a bone.

Another koala sleeper, so good luck escaping his embrace. Will go as far as following you to the bathroom to make sure you're actually awake.

Strangest thing he's seen you do is sit down in a fake potted plant in the living room and talk about dinosaurs.

[spinji]

Ranking Class A's Future Designs Worst to Best

Sato

RIP for your hairline dude

Aoyama

Feels like I could pick him up by that bag handle ass hair. Also the clowns pants just aren't it buddy.

Todoroki

Stop cutting their hair it makes it look like they're balding early.

Sero

Why did you get a manicure before this!?

Iida

Helmet looks great but I swear if you kept that haircut from graduation you better keep it on

Uraraka

Unsure if I like the longer hair (maybe tie it back?) but the fingerless gloves are a nice touch

Kaminari

Somehow manages to look way cooler and way dorkier than he used to. Did he put hot rod flames on his pants??

Tokoyami

Starting to look like an old bog witch but I swear I mean that as a compliment

Ojiro

Only time the haircuts have worked for me. The all black suit looks great on him. If you're gonna jack anyone's style there are worse options than Hawks.

Asui

Knows she already had a peak design. Don't fix what ain't broke.

Yaoyarozu

The lower ponytail looks way better on her and she finally got rid of that damn gap in her costume. Easily the best improvement over the original design.

Shinso

You are never beating the Eraserhead fanboy and/or lovechild allegations

Koda

If you told me in 2017 that Hori managed to make this design look sick as fuck I would not have believed you.

Kirishima

Suprised but glad he didn't go for a more obvious Crimson Riot homage. He's giving big grizzly bear vibes and I love it.

Midoriya

Keeping his baby face and 5'6 stature was so important to me. The new costume looks great but please don't run in and break it Izuku, it was SO expensive!!

Shoji

BARKBARKBARKBAKRBAKRBAKRBAEKBARKBARKBA-

Bakugou

I know we all made fun of the little lit fuse rat tails but they are so perfect for him. His costume looks so much sleaker and professional now, especially the gauntlets.

Jiro

No one is doing it like her. Swapping the jacket for a vest looks so good.

Ashido

She really should have taken the Alien Queen hero name, emphasis on QUEEN

Hagakure

Horikoshi already drew her too beautiful. An improvement would be impossible for human hands to achieve but I know in my heart she is as perfect as anyone could be. We stan our freak goddess.

[bruciemilf]

I think a " No Robins" AU would be really cool, because while yes, there's no Batman without Robin, can you IMAGINE the cuteness?

By " no robin" I don't mean the boys (Dick and Jason, but later everyone else) stay home, completely unaware of their Goth rat father fighting crime. They absolutely know he's batman and they ABSOLUTELY want kicks in.

But Bruce won't just let his children dive head first in Gotham’s crime pool. So he does what he does best; Pretend.

" B! Are we there yet?"

" Almost. Finish your chocolate milk so Jason can finish his."

" He's always copying me!"

" No I'm not!"

" nO iM nOt, "

Jason kicking his little legs in the child seat? Adorable. "B!"

Bruce is simply blocking this out. He's been driving in circles for two hours and when they finally fall asleep, he takes care of business, gets the robbers tied up, and by the time the boys wake up, he's like,

" You caught them. Good job."

The GCPD has to be useful SOMEHOW, so Gordon and Martinez take them to help look for "evidence." Yes, the evidence happens to be at the park

Even the Rogues are on board? Selina doesn't mind playing hurt when Dick hits her with a "batarang" from the local toy store. She decides to take it over the top and play dead, going limp,

" You killed her!" Jason screeches, because they LIKE Selina,

Bruce, completely calm as Tim pokes a shaking Selina with a stick, " Robin. What have you done."

Naturally, Dick wails, but luckily, she miraculously "comes back to life" and tells them cats really do have 9 lives. " You owe me so many diamonds, baby"

Bruce shrugs, patting Dick on the back, " You owe me therapy money,"

" Tch. Rich prick."

Harley and Ivy "fight" the birds a lot, but it's just Harley complimenting and hyping up Dick's gymnastics while Ivy swings them around with vines like carnival rides,

When Harley's "arrested", she pulls Bruce aside and is like, " Hey, maybe look into ADHD and autism, pretty sure they all have it, "

" Impossible? That's genetic. I have neither."

" ...1) They're adopted. 2) I have some news for you."

Harvey WILL kill Bruce on sight if he ever tells ANYONE he helped Jason and Tim tie him up with jumping cords. It's already bad enough that video of him slipping on bubblegum bombs (deactivated) is viral

" Okay, now three loops and around, -- Jason, that's a cat bridge."

" I'm NOT Jason Mr. Dent!"

" Right, ROBIN, -- can you at least gag this motherf-- this jerk? Jesus, Oswald, what'd you eat, death?"

Oz, tied back to back with Harvey, with marker all over his face, " Your MOTHER. I'M tired, KID, When's your old man coming back?"

" Dad says that if you miss bed time, you explode. Are you gonna explode, Mr. Penguin?"

"... I'm concerned that you're excited about it."

[lavampira]

okay okay what about for the npc oc feelings thing: Ystride de Caulignont, from the drk quests

send npcs for my wol’s opinions

ouuuuu yes okay ty friend !!

ystride was an interesting person for d’alia to encounter at the time that she did because it intersected with her own balancing act between vengeance and mercy. she goes from disagreeing with sid about killing the temple knight who ambushed her to wanting to rend the entire heavens’ ward for what happened at the vault, and she’d grown fond and protective of rielle, so learning what ystride did to her and why added to a whole combined fury at the zealotry and corruption in the holy see, sort of projecting it onto ystride as someone to focus that anger. and because of how much she encapsulates that and how she clearly won’t stop until she kills her own daughter, ystride is probably the first person that d’alia genuinely wants executed, whether by sid’s hand or her own, even if she wouldn’t actually interfere with sid’s and rielle’s agency in that confrontation.

[chaotic-toasters]

Lowkey

Kim Little x Teen!Reader

Arsenal WFC x Teen!Reader

------------------

“Hey, kiddo!” Katie's voice boomed in your ear, making you jolt. “Ready for trainin’?”

You shrunk slightly as her arm wrapped around your shoulders, discreetly shaking it off. “Uh-huh.”

Pushing the door to the changing room open, you slipped inside, sitting down at your cubby with a quiet greeting to the other girls.

You loved your team, and you loved their dynamics, but some of them were simply too rowdy for you to handle. It was one of the reasons why you kept to yourself most of the time, not wanting to get overwhelmed.

You tied your laces, hands shaking slightly as you pondered the schedule for the day. You hadn't looked at it before you left home, so you were unaware of what time you'd have recovery.

After hesitantly asking Lotte for the exact time the team would have recovery, you finished putting on all your gear, shuffling out of the changing room and into the hallway.

“Aw, look, it's the team baby!” Kyra cheered, pulling you into a headlock and ruffling your hair. “Y/N, how ya’ doin’?”

You smiled awkwardly, gently freeing yourself from the Aussie's hold. “Hi, Kyra.”

“Cooney, get off her,” a gentle hand was placed on your shoulder, the soft touch a stark contrast to the stern Scottish voice behind you. “I've got some things to discuss with Y/N, and I need her in one piece.”

Kyra groaned, slinking away. “Fiiine.”

As soon as the Matilda was gone, Kim removed her hand from your shoulder, brushing the hair that had come loose out of your face. “You ‘kay, kiddo? I know she can be a lot sometimes.”

You nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

As the two of you started walking to the training pitch side by side, you couldn't help but think it was weird. The Kim Little was to your right, smiling at you warmly, letting you know that she was available if you ever needed her.

“I'll keep that in mind, thanks,” you said gratefully. “I appreciate it.”

“Of course,” the midfielder patted you on the shoulder. “I know what it's like to be one of the introverts on the team. Come chat with me if you're ever overwhelmed, I'd love to talk with someone who doesn't shout every time they talk.”

You snickered when the Scotswoman's eyes drifted over to Katie. “Okay, I will. Thanks, Kim.”

—----------------

You didn't even make it through half the day. After some of the girls had gotten too rowdy for you, you'd gone and found Kim to do partner drills with.

“I'm surprised you lasted this long,” she grinned, tapping the ball to you. “Viv has been here for years, and she still can't last more than an hour.”

You couldn't help but grin back. “I'm special that way.”

You felt comfortable with your captain, her personality extremely similar to yours in terms of demeanor and values. It was easy to open up to her, to tell her things that your other teammates didn't know, and you knew that this was a friendship that would be nearly impossible to break.

You could tell by the way the mischievous idea formed in your head when the sprinklers turned on, the sudden urge to tackle Kim into the splash zone impossible to ignore. You would never do such a thing to people that you weren't good friends with, but it was obvious to you that you and Kim were heading in that direction.

“Kim, what are you doin’ on our off-day?” Steph questioned.

Kim pondered for a moment, completely clueless to the you charging at her like a bull. “I'm not sure, I was ju— Y/N!”

She laughed as the two of you wrestled, water from the sprinklers splashing you both in the face and making it hard to see. “Y/N! Get off, you little rat!”

You grinned cheekily as you rolled around in the dirt. “I can't, there's a dinosaur on top of me!”

“Hey!” she complained, tackling you back to the ground as your teammates gaped. “I'm not that old!”

“Yes, you are!” you freed yourself from her grasp, sprinting off. “You're, like, sixty!”

“I'm in my thirties!” she yelled after you.

“Same th- oof!” You grunted as you slipped on the wet grass, falling flat on your back. “Owwwww.”

Kim snorted. “Your fault, not mine.”

“Wally?” You whined, sticking your arms up in the air and making grabby hands. “Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.”

The Swisswoman smiled in amusement, helping you up and wiping the dirt off your cheek. “Never seen you so comfortable, Y/N.”

You shrugged, waving shyly at the camera that you realized had probably caught the whole incident. “There's just something about Kimmy, I guess.”

“Awww,” Kim jogged up to you, pinching your cheeks and grinning. “So cute.”

You reddened, slapping her hands away. “No need to make it weird, Mum.”

“I'm not makin’ it weird, you're makin’ it weird!”

“No, you!”

“No, you!”

Katie crossed her arms indignantly as you and Kim tried to force each other to the ground. “How come I get told off for wrestlin’ Kyra?”

You stuck out your tongue, trying to sweep Kim's legs out from underneath her. “I'm just special!”

“I'm special!” Katie complained.

You waved your hand dismissively, digging your foot into the ground. “Just because your mum said it doesn't mean it's true.”

“HEY!”

[evilminji]

:T Hello there, Thought(tm) of the day...

I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?

Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.

W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??

You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?

They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.

..........I bet they're the wooooorst~~✨️

No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.

Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.

Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.

They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.

Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.

They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.

Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?

Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!

*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*

Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.

Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.

Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~!

But THEN!

They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.

Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.

Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...

Just... impossible.

There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.

NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?

...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?

How?

Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).

They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.

It's traumatizing for everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!

And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.

Somethings telling him not too.

It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.

But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.

Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."

Huh?

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj

[kirnet]

i hope you know mina that my phone genuinely corrected kirnet to kidney and i didn't notice until i was submitting the form XD

haha ur all good!! thats why my stupid little nickname for her is kidney cavity bc thats the only way my phone will allow me to spell it lol. if you call her kidney i know exactly who ur talking abt

[damianbugs]

DEBUNKING SOME COMMON COMIC COMPLAINTS:

the funniest shit ever is when i say "oh hey friend you should give batman comics a try i think you'll like them!" and the response is "no thanks he's a bad dad in those i'll stick to fics." because like... i swear to you on my life Bruce Wayne Ao3 has done worse shit in fics than he ever has in canon.

"oh but you can just filter those tags/ignore those stories—" you can. do the same with comics... this man has been around for decades. do you think every story was exactly the same? not even the SAME writers write him the same way twice. (EXAMPLE: Frank Millers 'Batman Year One' has bruce jump off a bridge to save a baby. Frank Millers 'Batman and Robin All Stars' has bruce feed dick rats.)

"oh but fics are free—" so are comics 🏴‍☠️... unless ur a coward. whoever told you that you have to buy comics to read them or enjoy them is a liar and you should explode them. spending money and collecting is a completely personal (and life altering) decision.

"it's so hard to find specific comics/dynamics/tropes etc" the internet is truly a fantastic place. you can find a reading list or blog for the most niche of characters, so you will have absolutely no problem finding one for the bastard man who appears in every single comic ever published by dc. if not, ask your comic friends and not friends, comic blogs, tiktok comment sections etc. there will be one hyperfixated enthusiast eagerly awaiting the opportunity to give you their extensive guide.

"i just want to read/create my own story with them" you and me both buddy. reading comics doesn't mean you are not allowed to let yourself indulge in completely impossible fanon scenarios that heal or ruin your life. in fact, do you know the inexplicable euphoria that comes with stumbling upon a fic that rewrote a canon event? continued a badly finished comic story? it's life changing. fun to write too!

if you don't want to read comics for whatever reason, fine, literally whatever — but if you want to and certain things are holding you back from doing do, this is for you! who gaf about fandom discourse and "name me three batman comics"-ism, just don't hold yourself back from exploring this media even further! if anything, having a couple comics under your belt makes analysis and discussion far more genuine, and not like your chatting shit from out your ass.