#imo everyone in this damn show needs to be single for a hot fucking second

[teds-lasso]

scared for the tedbecca shippers tonight. may u rest in dutch pieces.

[fantasticalleigh]

June 21st 2024 Friday Night Smackdown photos + thoughts

I've been so excited for this show! Too bad it was so hot because by the end I was pretty sweaty but overall it was such a good show omfg

Including some photos but they all came out like ass bc my phone is so old and I was more concerned with being in the moment.

We got there a bit late and were still in the merch line when the show started. When we finally found our seats it was nearly 7pm and Tozawa's Speed title match was already ending. I forgot who he was up against tbh.

Punk opened up the show of course and gave a really good promo about Chicago and his rivalry with Drew. Everyone was eating it up. Personally I have a love/hate relationship with Punk so I still found it entertaining but wasn't cheering for him exactly. he mocked Drew and I've been calling it since Clash and since Punk announced he was gonna attend this Smackdown that I believed Drew was gonna show up and get revenge, just didn't know when. Paul Heyman interrupts Punk's promo to warn him to leave bc even though he's off limits to the Bloodline that they wouldn't be afraid to go after him. And then Paul begs Punk to take him with him :'( Poor man needs a break. They had a long hug. it was really hard to hear what paul was saying most of the time because of how loud the 'we want roman' and 'fuck you solo' chants were. solo interrupted the promo and the boos got so freaking loud i didn't hear a word of what he said. when the bloodline tried advancing on punk we saw cody running out from behind the front row to help punk and everyone went nuts.

(the groups of guys behind and beside me had the funniest commentary running all through the show to the point that sometimes i either couldn't hear or pay attention to what was going on in the ring. also, the sound at the Allstate Arena is absolute TRASH and sometimes you just couldn't hear a word that was being said when backstage promos were being shot so everyone just sat in annoyed silence until the volume was finally raised.)

i'm not gonna go over every single thing in the 'episode' that happened bc that would make this way too long and it's really late so i'm just writing about highlights

Bianca vs. Michin vs. Chelsea Green for Money in the Bank was super fun. Everyone was cheering for Bianca and Chelsea mostly but the crowd definitely popped when Chelsea stole the pin. I love her and really hoped she would get Queen of the Ring but I'm happy with this win and happy with Nia as Queen. Chelsea imo is amazing to watch bc she's doing amazing character work as the self-centered/egotistic/entitled/hot and bratty "spicy margarita" character she is. She's just so damn funny and I'm glad we get to see more of her.

All the Bloodline stuff--yet another member has joined the chat. Tbh i really don't care that much about the Bloodline and never have but at this point I'm cheering for Roman to come back along with everyone bc I don't think Solo Sikoa is all that impressive yet. Idk. He may grow on me. But every time Solo or Tama Tonga were out everyone started booing or shouting 'we want Roman'. Which says plenty. We also got to see a lot of Randy and KO tonight which was really great bc i love them and they're truly out there being the defenders of Smackdown any time the Bloodline pulls their cheating bs. The guys behind me were calling Solo "Temu Roman" which was hilarious. Jacob debuting today looked rad as hell and already a huge threat (possibly a greater one than Solo imo) and apparently he's a big deal in indie wrestling so I'm interested in seeing what he brings to the table.

Bayley was on screen for like ten seconds :(

Andrade was great but for some reason I don't really connect with him so I end up sort of tuning out whenever he's on. I feel bad about it but idk, I feel like he doesn't have a truly distinctive character yet that would actually make me interested in him but all his looks are nice at least.

Randy vs. Carmelo vs. Tama Tonga:

Great match. Melo also taking that win was unexpected but considering he's had mostly losses since his debut this is a good thing. Plus I got a (BAD) photo of Randy doing The Thing before the match and I think that's neat.

(every time i see the MITB briefcases i quietly sing to myself "I got money in the BAYank" from that T-Pain song)

also got this hilarious pic of Randy who looks like a lion pouncing on Mello who looks like a frightened gazelle running away lol

for possibly my favorite part of the night:

MY MANS GOT HIS VENGEANCE.

when this happened in the middle of Grayson Waller's promo (can we talk about how GOOD that shot was??? with the garage door pulling up to do the reveal??) everyone lost their shit and started booing Drew. I was grinning ear to ear bc i fucking CALLED IT. Though i'd hoped we'd have actually gotten to see it happen and not only the aftermath. this is a very shit pic but drew + the cameraperson walked all the way from backstage to the entry and drew just fucking tossed Punk off his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. it was hot. it was wrong and it was wild. the people of chicago cried out in absolute outrage and the boos rained down. look at your god now, i would have said if i had the courage (and lung capacity) he is a mortal like us, he brought this on himself, and he ain't shit.

i was too busy cheering to notice drew taking punk's bracelet? watch? idk. it looked shiny and silver. and then he left without a word but backstage argued with Nick Aldis and others before storming off. absolute cinema. everyone was still booing and i raised my plastic margarita jar in a toast to my beloved Scotsman.

(i'd really been hoping to hear his music live again tho)

at one point at the end of a match i sprang out of my seat and ran to the bathroom because i believed we were on a commercial break. commercials were playing on the screens, after all. i had literally just started washing my hands when i heard ~~L. A. KNIGHT~~ and then the music and i started swearing because i missed his entrance :( i was so annoyed lmao. (I was wearing black lipstick and the Judgement Day spiked vest and when i walked in a woman exiting at the same time saw me and said "Mami!" and it was great lol) (there were a lot of signs for rhea tonight btw we miss her!!!) anyway i got back to my seat while Knight was still in the ring but Logan Paul had just shown up and knocked him out and that sucked lmao for some reason I was sure they were actually going to fight tonight?? guess i was wrong. the guys next to me were cheering for logan, no shame do what you want but bleghhhhh

Cody did two appearances. first when he came out in his corporate attire and then again for his match with Solo. everyone sang his theme with gusto, and it was a pleasure to actually know the words this time. the pyro was WILD. and imo there was too much fog coming from it to the point the arena got noticeably hotter after the pyro went off. i was wearing a mesh shirt and i was still pretty sweaty. everyone did the WOAH. i think cody was wearing his Mania fit so it was really cool to see it again; his costumes are the best in the WWE rn and no one else comes close. at least not in the men's division. the match itself was kinda disappointing with how quickly it was disqualified bc of the bloodline's bs. not that i expected there to be a title drop or anything then and there but it all happened so quickly and i was so annoyed that when jacob came out i was sort of checked out. obvs i wondered who he was but there was no name card on the screens or anything so i was lost until i checked the subreddit later. cody got his ass beat and even tho randy and KO tried to help the bloodline still won and ended the episode and everyone booed them.

was it good tv though? absolutely. i feel lucky to have been there and seen it all live. this is only my second live WWE show and i'm hooked. i can't wait to watch the episode and hear the commentary.

after the cameras stopped rolling The Awesome Truth came out and everyone fucking lit up when Mix and R Truth came out singing their song and everyone was super into it, screaming 'WHAT'S UP?' back to Truth. tbh after the way the main event match went it was a perfect pick me up to end the night and it got our energy back up immediately. then the Judgement Day came out and the boos came out again for Dominik and JD (but mostly Dom). i was there in my dorky lil spiked vest cheering my babies on. it was a great fucking match, super entertaining and they were absolutely feeling the energy. Miz and Dom were having a contest throughout trying to get the loudest crowd response and Miz was raising his arms getting us to build up to it and then Dom tried getting us on his side but when we didn't or just booed him he more or less flipped us off without actually giving the bird lol. he also took a bottle of Prime and tasted it, only to spit it back out in disgust which actually earned him a few cheers and several shouts of "fuck Prime!!" i may have seen it from the wrong angle but it did also look like he wiped the bottle on his butt before tossing it away. R Truth did the five knuckle shuffle and everyone got hyped and screamed the you can't see me thing and then he did it again with Miz and then they did their tag team finisher. idk the name for it but it's the dancey in sync move they do. it's adorable and i love them so much. but back to the match, all of them were fantastic and of course Awesome Truth won, but at one point when it was quiet enough i yelled out "YOU SHOULD'VE LET R-TRUTH JOIN THE JUDGEMENT DAY" and a few people laughed which felt really good lmao.

and after the match ended and everyone was clapping, Miz asked for a mic and told us (and this is very paraphrased and relying on my memory) that he 'doesn't get to do this often' and he isn't used to being cheered so much so this was really great and he was thankful to chicago for that. we cheered extra loud for that and then they left and it was over.

i'm still newish to the wwe universe but i know Miz was a world champ not that long ago. i haven't seen much of that run and i always thought he was a very likable character for all his faults so hearing that he wasn't used to being cheered broke my heart a little bc i like him a lot.

anyway it was amazing overall and i really hope they come back again soon. when i went to RAW in march they gave us all a promo code for early access tickets for this show, but this time there wasn't one, to my knowledge.

after tonight i now have a cody rhodes shirt, a deeper love for wrestling, and a new friendship bracelet. i have a ton that i made for myself a while back and a couple given by friends/family. i wore them all today and after the show while waiting for my brother near the merch line a woman came up to me and asked if i wanted to swap bracelets. i was like :o i didn't know people did that here!! and she said a few do, that she'd given a couple away already and luckily i'd just made an 'omg it's cody rhodes' and a rhea ripley one the night before so i happily gave her the rhea one and she gave me a 'mami's always on top' bracelet in return and just like the Judgement Day bracelet my dear @rogueimperator got me for my birthday, i will treasure them forever <3 i should have asked for her name tbh but thank you kind stranger! now i need to make more for next time :)

a lot of people were also very sweet about my goth look for the night--i was trying to channel Rhea for sure lol but my black lipstick was rubbing off everywhere and i was so sweaty because of the vest and boots lol--not a good choice for a 90 degree day but we're all doing our part to hasten Rhea's hasty return, right??? a bit of sweat is no problem in the long run.

[secondhoekage]

Ignore this long rant I’m high as shit but I... can’t take the hero commission oR HONESTLY THE HEROES THEMSELVES, seriously anymore

They’re BRAINLESS they all share one (1) brain cell and it belonged to Crust. THESE GUYS had MONTHS to strategize this attack and what did they do? They fucked it up. They want me to believe this was planned and not written on a chalk board the night before? Sent out to all heroes the next morning at 8am in a CHAIN EMAIL?

Unpopular opinion(?): they sent the worst possible, ill-suited heroes to each location for this PLF raid and I’m mad at them for it and I’m mad at Hori for making me be mad at it even tho he had to do it beCauSe oF pLot but I’m mad.

The MLA’s plans to take on The League of Villains? Spotless. Chef’s kiss. The detail. The one-on-one counters they planned out. Accounting for each enemy’s quirk. Yeah there were like 6 of them to account for but?? Heroes, yall had enough info and enough time to think of ways to go about this raid and I’m supposed to believe that you did, BUT DID YOU REALLY? MONTHS TO PLAN, and saw one electric Sir Crocodile rip-off and immediately threw Kaminari on his ass. Good move. Kinda. But the rest of the PLF? Heroes just gonna make shit up as they go I guess?? 

To make myself feel better here’s a long ass useless rant on what could’ve damn happened and which heroes should’ve gone where and to make this an epic ass rumble. ugh. Even just doing some of these things would’ve made this arc (imo) feel more... convincing and delicious

under the cut tho bc damn this is too long

In this essay I will—

Edgeshot??? EDGESHOT??    EDGESHOT?? i’M GOING TO GO OFF. 

I swear to shit Edgeshot could’ve soloed the hospital but they had him at the PLF mansion for Some Reason like... like they didn’t make him run up on the League’s bar instead of the Nomu factory bc they knew he would take care of shit immediately. Make it make sense. If he was at the hospital eye just—Nomu in the way?? Doctor running off? Say less. Electric slide all the way in there Shinya. DID NO ONE SEE HOW EASILY HE HANDLED KUROGIRI? Did everyone just forget this man can pull a K.O in .3 seconds flat? Heroes didn’t think it might be a good idea to have him there, ready to give Shigaraki the paper cut of his life the second he woke up (if he even did bc my mans likely could’ve prevented the ‘doctor getting away>high-end awaken>rush to get shiggy out of the tank>shiggy wakes up’ chain of events)? Didn’t think to send him instead of this guy X Less just sitting there with That Look on his face? 

I get they needed heroes like Edgeshot at the mansion to take out a handful of enemies in one go but COME ON NOW. There were more than enough long-range AOE heroes there. And even if you don’t wanna believe he could solo then STILL, EDGESHOT DUOING WITH MIRUKO, ANYBODY? If anyone was gonna keep up with her happy ass zooming into the lab it could’ve been him. We were robbed of an Edgeshot/Miruko teamup and I’m not okay. Could’ve had a sexy ass panel of the hospital-team hyping up Miruko and Edgeshot as they dashed to Ujiko’s lab, two fast as shit bad bitches, zooming through these Nomu, absolutely obliterating them at lightning speed, watching each other’s backs too, PROBABLY SAVING MIRUKO FROM BECOMING THE PRE-DEATH ORGAN DONOR THAT SHE IS NOW. I know it was hot watching Miruko take on these high-ends but I’d have rather Edgeshot share the spotlight if it meant Miruko was in one piece rn. Hori played her

Anyways the literal dumb bitch energy that went into not sending Edgeshot to the hospital is sending me. Could’ve at least let him just be on the team and on standby while Shigaraki was waking up. With those sharp as shit reflexes of his we’ve seen? Shigaraki would’ve been out like a fucking light the second Edgeshot saw him sit up. X-Less you had a nice thicc upper lip that lip was too shaded for you to die, but F in the chat bitch. Useless plot fodder I’m sorry X-Less. There isn’t a hero there right now (besides Aizawa but like... idk, plot is nerfing him) that could’ve incapacitated Shiggy so quickly and prevented the mess they’re in now like my guy Edgeshot could’ve. Feels like a cop out

In conclusion: Edgeshot sweety I’m sorry they did this. I’m sorry you were nerfed. I’m sorry they didn’t let you deliver Kamino Pizza to this hospital. I’m sorry they ignored you and now everyone’s gonna die bc they didn’t they respect your Ninpo rights

CEMENTOSS??? y’all sent him to fuck up the mansion FOR WHAT??? If I were the hero commission and thought :

“Dang we need to completely ass blast this huge PLF resort to make room for our heroes to run in... but it would also be good if we had someone to do that at the hospital too just in case things get tricky and we need to pave a quick way to Ujiko’s secret hideout... but I’m single-celled and can’t weigh my options logically so ok. Cementoss, to the mansion.”

...................... Ok but can I in interest you in PIXIE BOB? I get the mansion is huge but going by the shit we’ve seen her do?? I’m not about to underestimate ol’ girl. I know she could’ve fucked that place up if they let her, switched her out for Cementoss, who could’ve made THE EASIEST route for the hospital team to get into the secret lab, trapped Ujiko, also trapped a couple nomu/high-ends in cement while he was at it, rearranged some tunnels for optimal tactical movement, probably could’ve done a decent-fucking-job at slowing the onslaught of Decay too if it got to that point (AND IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BC THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS RANT IS TO INSIST THAT A BETTER SELECTION OF HEROES WOULDN’T HAVE RESULTED IN SHIGGY’S CURRENT THANOS SNAP ORdEAL)

I know Pixie’s mostly on rescue operations and that’s what she’s doing at the hospital/surrounding city but WHY?? EVEN IF THEY REALLY NEEDED CEMENTOSS AT THE MANSION—WHY NOT HAVE PIXIE BOB DOING SOMETHING IN THE ACTUAL HOSPITAL BATTLE? JUST A LITTLE? The hospital is built on uh.. oh yeah... EARTH? And considering in the Forest Training arc she was using her quirk from a remote location (to make that Earth golem, or whatever) she wouldn’t even HAVE to be IN Ujiko’s lab to be useful

Can y’all PLEASE put at least ONE of your terraforming heroes at the place where y’all REALLY need them?? And not after-the-fact like y’all just did with Pixie Bob? Because clearly she didn’t do shit this last chapter trying to stop Decay. I’m sorry girl. You may be dead. Terrible.

I would have legitimately sent Snipe to get Ujiko before I sent Miruko and that’s that on that. Where is he even? He was there during the briefing but he’s gone? MIA? Idk. No way Ujiko is getting away from those bullets. Target locked: Ujiko’s hand. Fire. High-end Nomu remote goes bye bye. Then another bullet in the leg. No need to worry about him escaping and waking up high-ends/Shiggy when he doesn’t have kneecaps. Problem solved. No way it would’ve taken that long to break Shiggy’s tank either with a few well-placed pew pews zigging around some Nomu (not that we really wanna break him outta his tank bc look what happened). Snipe’s 6/5 technique stat deserves better!!!!!

Gang Orca did not go off and give a bunch of kids brain damage during the License arc to be so thoroughly ignored here. He’s clearly about to get his shit rocked by some gauged-out ex-Hot Topic employee in the next few chapters and ugh you’re TOO GOOD FOR THAT ORCA. COULD’VE BEEN OF USE AT THE HOSPITAL. PARALYZING SONIC WAVES? WE’LL TAKE IT. Who knows if any of the high-end Nomu would’ve been affected by paralysis but the small fry? Probably. Shiggy’s little twink ass? I would bet on it. Not that it would really stop him from using Decay but still

At the risk of sounding like someone I know who endorses child labor (the hero commission) here me out: CAN I GET A UHHH JUZO HONENUKI??? AGAIN YEAH good that he was at the mansion to do some long-range AOE action but if y’all are gonna force kids to join in on this war anyways, put your strongest and most useful ones at the place you need them. Shit it would’ve been real nice if Honenuki was there to trap some Nomu—uncertain if it would work against the high-ends that show some pretty flexible quirks but who knows—and even at the risk of reaching, maybe in some universe where Shiggy and Honenuki face off, it would be interesting to see Decay against Softening, since Decay’s one big weakness is that it can only work on solid objects sooOooOo? Idk. Would’ve been a cool match up but I hate that the kids are fighting anyways so we’re gonna ignore this Juzo rant. Just know it would’ve been cool

And as for the mess that’s going to be this fucking mansion soon... .. We’re just gonna ignore a whole ass Geten, big destructive power, big fucking threat, and not gonna throw Endeavor’s ass in there? Makes sense. They’re leaving it to Shoto I guess. They said time for you to fucking shine kid. Get in there. I mean really trading Endeavor for Edgeshot would’ve been top tier strategy but...

I MEAN THEY?? Made up a whole ass plan to counter ONE greasy-looking PLF guy by throwing Kaminari in there, but they couldn’t make up a plan to counter Geten? Are they just?? Pulling names out of a hat to see who gets to fight who? Did they spin a bottle to see who it landed on? Did Mt. Lady pull the short stick? I swear on shit when Geten starts going feral soon I’m not gonna feel sorry about it. Unless heroes got a plan and someone’s gonna make a sexy ass top 10 anime entrances to counter his ice then I’m disappointed. We went ape shit over Kaminari countering one of the commanders but are we not gonna get anymore ‘I’m your perfect counter and I’m here to stop you’ moments? No? I’M PISSED. 

I would have also settled for my kween Nejire being there to blast away some ice because who tf else is gonna do it? But eh. 

Dabi will also be trouble depending on what he decides to do. He only has about 3 good ideas a month and he’s used them all up by now so he’s in dumb slut territory as we speak. But you’d think that a villain as widely recognized as Dabi with such a destructive quirk would urge the heroes to have some plan to take him on but?? So far I don’t really see anyone quick to take on the role. Not that it’d be that hard bc he’s dangerous but also dangerously dumb. Where is Inasa. Maybe he can just blast the flames back in Dabi’s face. I love him but at this point he deserves to have some of his rights taken away

Don’t even get me start on Gigantomachia. I get the heroes had little choice except to attack before Shiggy was full-power but just?? NOT having a plan in case by some little chance Gigantomachia DID wake up? You stupid bastards. You absolute fools. I guess there’s not much you CAN do but FUCK y’all just gonna let him SIT THERE? No counter measures? No ‘Let’s execute this incredibly thorough and thought-out plan we’ve spent months formulating to restrain Gigantomachia in case he does end up waking up, because better safe than sorry’? When he tramples like 50 students I bet that shit gonna hurt

I hate it all. I was really happy about seeing Shiggy go off 272 bc he’s a king but after rereading from like, 258 I feel... weird. Maybe this will be resolved with more chapters but. eh. Now that I’ve thought of this, I can’t go back. I miss the brain power that was behind the MLA fight

[thehoardofthegreatdragon]

Urahara Kisuke: "Come on baby, I know the law" But Actually Illegal

Hello and welcome to Coco has Too Many Feelings Hour. Today, it’s a character analysis of Urahara Kisuke because what gave him the fucking right to be so cool? WHAT GAVE HIM THE RIGHT?

Anyway. This is going to be half based on his dialogue, and half based on general action patterns, since both are damn interesting. There will be spoilers for most things but I’ll try to keep things after the Aizen arc vague. Also, it should go without saying that this is all my interpretation and very biased (extra biased because I Love Him). 

[AKA: This is like, just my opinion, man.]

Now before we begin can we just pause to appreciate how beautiful he is? If you haven’t, stare at this picture for at least a minute. Go on, I’ll time you. 

Now we can move on. 

Kisuke is, in a word, complicated. If I had to describe him (and considering that’s the point of this entire goddamn document, I better try), I’d say he’s a man with unstoppable curiosity and a heart that is far too soft to handle the fallout of his own invention. 

No matter where you put him, no matter what time he’s born into, he will create a weapon he shouldn’t have. He has this strange bit of naïveté about his science at first, but it fades as he sees what his science has done to people he cares for. He has a good heart-- a soft heart, under it all-- so he can’t just accept the damage he’s done and move on. He turns that genius to invention, so that he can fix the things he broke. He wants to help everyone he can, because he hurt so many. 

But that doesn’t ever make the guilt go away, and it doesn’t stop him from using people when he has to— we see this happen with Ichigo in the Soul Society invasion arc. Kisuke uses him to achieve his goals, but he is far from happy about it and apologizes afterwards. 

Alright, into the meat of his character. I’m going to skim over the fact that he is arguably one of the strongest characters in the entire show, a man who plans for every eventuality compulsively because he understands that people die in battle (people die when they are killed), and so intelligent that he was one of the few people Aizen actually was wary of. I’m skimming it, because otherwise this already too long essay would be three times as long and wax rhapsodic about every way that he is, in fact, an incredible badass. 

[IM SKIPPING IT FOR ALL OUR SAKES OKAY.] 

He will and does help people, but he’s very guarded. It makes a terrible kind of sense, because he worked in the Omnitsukidō, and I don’t think anyone can come out of a spy and assassination agency without some jadedness. The exile doesn’t help either, because now he’s been forced to deal with the fallout from a betrayal and the loss of his home too. 

That being said, the exile also made him more of his own man. Freer, in many ways. More able to be the eccentric self he wants to, better adapted to life, more likely to see how people could use him and less likely to let it happen. I think the living world suits him in a way that Soul Society never really did. 

At his core he's a good person, but he built walls upon walls around himself. And those walls never come down, and some of them are mirrors, and some of them are smokescreens that don’t look like walls, because he can never be simple and he doesn’t want to be understood. And even if someone does see part of who he is, he wants them to only see that particular part. 

He is an eccentric free spirit whose drive for invention cost him more dearly than anything else. His will to create, his truest self— the scientist, with inventions to make and the world to explore— started a war. It ruined the lives of people he wanted to be friends, and people who were friends. 

And as a scientist, that’s the greatest blow of all. It’s like Oppenheimer and the atomic bomb. He created a weapon he couldn’t control, but he did it with something he loved with his whole heart. It hurts twice as deeply, when it comes from love. 

He’s also a follower more than a leader. Kisuke is the support type, for all his fighting skill— he’s ready with backup plans and transportation and research, but he needs a person to follow into battle. For a long time that was Yoruichi. Then he stood on his own as a captain, but the way he did it was by structuring his division into a support division rather than a truly fighting one (his own way of coping with new leadership, imo. He turned the 12th into the division he wanted it to be, rather than really learning how to lead a fighting division). 

Then he had to stand on his own, in exile, and he did. I imagine this was mostly fueled by guilt and determination, because he had to fix the mess he had helped create and defeat Aizen. But even still, he still kept to the shadows and planned Aizen’s downfall, rather than stepping on the battlefield and doing it himself (for many reasons, of course— Aizen was still in Soul Society’s good graces and it would have been suicide, Kisuke is not a foolish man who would throw away the best chance at success for a fight). 

And at last, he chose Ichigo to follow. But this is doubly interesting because at first he is uses Ichigo to achieve his goals. Supposedly, Kisuke himself couldn’t have gone to Soul Society to rescue Rukia (because of the exile, though let’s face it Kubo’s world building doesn’t explain how Yoruichi could go so who really knows. And Kisuke being Kisuke, would have found a way into Soul Society if he thought it would help their fight against Aizen. Anyone who doesn’t believe that can see the TYBW arc and Fight Me). 

But there were many people who had a better chance of going in his stead, and many ways to save Rukia that didn’t involve a straightforward invasion. This is not to mention that Kisuke used Rukia too, with the intention of forcing Aizen’s hand. 

So when Ichigo and Kisuke first meet, he views Ichigo as a tool (and a person, because he’s a good man and never free of the guilt).  

But with each battle, we see how Kisuke trusts Ichigo more and more. This progression continues until the last battle with Aizen, and then after that Kisuke stands behind Ichigo with absolutely no hesitation. Throughout the last arc, throughout the remainder of the manga, when Ichigo needed him, Kisuke was there— with supplies, with research, with a path to Hueco Mundo, hell even with a path to the big palace up in the sky. And Kisuke trusted Ichigo absolutely— see the panel where Ichigo asks Kisuke to hold out until he gets there, and everything will be alright because Ichigo will handle it. And Kisuke’s response to that is just a smile and a single word— “Understood.” 

The trust between them is absolute. This is surprising, if you think of how few people Kisuke has really trusted over the years, and how few he trusts to this extent. 

[It’s also very interesting that of all the people Ichigo choses to tell to “wait for me,” it’s Kisuke but that’s just my loyalty kink showing up don’t mind me.]

Once the guilt of using him was gone, Kisuke could follow the leader he’d chosen. And he did, endlessly. 

On that note, Kisuke’s dialogue choice with Ichigo develops in a very interesting way. In the beginning its challenging and on the ruthless side (“don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself,” for example), into something much more trusting and less challenging (the “understood” for instance, or the “what would you like me to do” ). This evolution tracks with the evolution of Kisuke’s changing attitude towards Ichigo. 

We move from Kisuke only promising to help when he extracts something in return (“Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society? I’ll tell you, on one condition.”) to Kisuke offering to help Ichigo before being asked (“My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?”).

[Imagine how much literally anyone else would pay to have a scientist of Kisuke’s caliber basically on retainer. And Ichigo gets it for the low low price of absolutely free.]

All this is to say, that I think that Kisuke can and is always ready for any eventuality but that it’s only after his trust is earned by Ichigo that he gives his plans so easily to other people. He has chosen a king, so to speak. 

[Don’t call out my power kink or I will personally end you.]

Moving on to dialogue in general, we see many damn interesting patterns. Perhaps intentionally, Kisuke's a bit on a different wavelength, and no one expects the answers he gives to any questions. Its eccentricity, but honed into a weapon and very self-aware. He often interprets questions in different ways than expected, like he’s purposefully setting people off guard. 

Consider the following response he gives to an enemy in later chapters (TYBW arc): 

“Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.”

He’s never met this person before in his life, and his response is to just, straight up flirt. THIS IS FLIRTING. KISUKE. WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING. HE’S NOT EVEN HOT. 

Anyway. In general, Kisuke has two broad categories of speech patterns: completely serious and teasing-playful-fake-humble.  Unlike many other characters who use a baiting tone and words against enemies (Frankenstein from Noblesse comes to mind as an example), Kisuke uses them on friends and enemies alike. And his tone isn’t really mocking but fake-humble and fake-playful.

Examples of this—

“Oh? You know of me. What an honor.” (Said behind fan)

“It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!” (Said to Yoruichi’s ass)

[Seriously, who does this asshole think he is? Yoruichi kicks him and I’m glad she does.]

He's very often cheerful, and usually smiling as he speaks. I’d say his eyes are the biggest giveaway to his emotion because they dont really ever soften. (And because Kubo has a Thing for drawing them covered in shadows and looking badass, see Exhibit: Oh No He’s Hot, pictured below)

In this playful mode, even when he apologizes it’s usually in a way that somehow makes it worse. He’s constantly either annoying people or throwing them off guard or a combination, but in a much more cheerful eccentric way than say, Frankenstein. For example, after he says the line above to Yoruichi (in the middle of a battle, I might add), he says this:

“Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar.” 

He’s managed to repeat the thing that made her kick him, in a way that almost makes it worse, but in a way that makes it seem like hes trying to apologize. It’s very clever, and also ideal for pissing people off, intentional or not. (But who are we kidding, this is Kisuke. It’s definitely intentional). 

But he can also switch to a serious mode quite quickly, seemingly able to interweave the two modes without really needing to break between them. This most often comes out when there is someone to save or protect.

[Because he's secretly a softie, as mentioned above, god I love him]

For example, when Masaki is in danger, even tho he's never met her or the soul reapers before (and when his very existence should make him avoid Isshin), he says this:

“We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her.”

It’s to the point, succinct, polite, and also filled with a desire to save. It’s also completely at odds with his playful tone when he speaks in other times. I think this dichotomy is the core of Kisuke. Of course he's playful and eccentric— and this makes him the delightful character he is— but at his core he's a man who cares about people and wants to help. He doesn’t hesitate to apologize when he is in the wrong either, kneeling before Ichigo after the Soul Society arc and not asking for forgiveness but explaining why he is sorry. (Ichigo forgives him, because Ichigo will always forgive him, and that hurts even more). 

But even when there are threats to life, if they've been dealt with and he's in a controlled environment, he pulls out the playful act again, though it often has an edge. For example, after he saves Ichigo for the first time he says this:

“What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?”

It’s on the edge of teasing but its also much more pointed than anything else he's said to Ichigo at this point. It’s followed by some of the rawest and cruelest lines of dialogue I’ve ever read, because Kisuke doesn’t flinch back from being harsh when he has to be. 

Even his cruelty, when he is forced to use it, comes from a place of care and a desire to help. Doesn’t stop it from stinging like hell. 

It’s at this point where I descended into crying about Kisuke and how good he was and how much I love him, and so decided to stop.

In summary: Kisuke is a good man who couldn’t stop himself from inventing the most destructive weapon to exist. But he’s a good man, and so he spent a century crafting his own penance. 

General Kisuke Dialogue I’ve collected, in case people find it useful:

Stop fighting, you two. It’s my fault, I should have disposed of it. 

We have no choice. We’ve got to find it and neutralize it before it causes any trouble. 

No way, accidents happen! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. There now, its okay. 

Good, let’s move! Operation “recall”

Well look here. We finally find you, and you’re already incapacitated. What a waste. We lugged all this stuff here for nothing. 

I’m going to destroy it. Hmm. I’m not sure how to answer that. 

This is serious. I won’t take the fall for you. 

No no, Kurosaki-san. Your wounds have barely closed. If you move around too much, you’ll die <3. 

Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society?

I’ll tell you, on one condition. For the next ten days, you must allow me to train you. 

You don’t understand. What I’m trying to tell you is they’ll kill you.Could you win? If you fought them as you are? I allowed you to fight them this time, because I thought it would make it easier for you to understand. At your current level of ability, you wouldn’t stand a chance in soul society. You’re weak. For you to venture into enemy territory now would be suicide. You want to save Kuchiki-san? Don’t make me laugh. Don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself. 

Of course. If you wish to save Kuchiki-san with your whole heart, then you have at your disposal a power stronger than iron. But if your resolve is half-hearted, forget it. For the next ten days, I’m going to put you through the wringer. 

What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?

He went home. His wound bled a lot, but it wasn’t severe. 

Couldn’t you have come up with anything better? [how lame]

Looks like I was a step too late.

What would you like me to do? Shall I book a ticket to reiokyu? It may take me some time though. [to ichigo]

We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her. 

My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?

[I] its usually like this with Urahara. [K] you know me too well <3

Oh? You know of me. What an honor. (Said behind fan)

To be included in such an esteemed group, I don’t know what to say. Its an honor, but he’s giving me too much credit.

It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!

Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar (makes fake apologies a lot)

Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.

You see, even if I don’t tell you, you’ll be up close and personal with it soon enough.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #281

“is there a method to your madness, is it all about pride? ‘cuz everyone i know, they’ve got a demon inside.”

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like a celebrity? No, just a video game character and an animated movie girl when I had black hair. What color is the pillowcase(s) on your bed? Brown. Do you have a favorite day of the week? Tuesday because it’s reset day in WoW and as a mount farmer, that means I get to try my raids for the week again to continue to be denied. :’) Have you ever been in an art show? An art show, I don’t think so. I’ve had two or three things in an art museum, though. Would you consider yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered? I’m pretty split down the middle, I’d say. I’ve seen far more emotional pain than I think most young adults have, but at the same time, I’ve very under-exposed to adult experiences. How high is your pain tolerance? It depends on the type of pain. I can particularly say I do NOT handle stomach pains well, though. Have you ever played the game Halo? Nah, those weren’t my type. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie? Only songs sung together for plays in elementary school. Never solo. Do you like your nose? … Sure? Kissing someone with facial hair, do you mind? I don’t care. Would you ever like to be a stunt person? I’m fucking dumb, I read this and thought “you mean little people?” until I read the last person’s answer lmaooo. Anyway, no. I’m not ballsy enough for that shit. Are you a pyromaniac? I find fire pretty, but it still can scare me if I’m too close to it. Are you one of those people who listen to songs on repeat? 110%, it’s literally what I’m doing now lmao. Can any of your friends sing very well? SARA. Would you ever enter any kind of pageant? No, no, no, no. I really don’t support pageants of any type I can think of, beauty in particular. What a way to scream “HEY THEY’RE BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, again, especially in beauty pageants. That fucks people up. What a way to start things like self-loathing, eating disorders, body dysphoria, etc. Do you have piano fingers? Mom has always told me that, “like Grammy.” Have you ever slept on a beach? YIKES, no. I ain’t fuckin’ with the tides going in and out or just a massive wave. I’d also feel WAY too vulnerable. Would you like to be taller? I’m cool with my current height. Are you a fan of piercings on the opposite sex? I just like piercings in general. Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No, besides play getting too rough. Is there a movie that makes you cry every single time you watch it? It’s easy to do that lol. The Notebook in particular will 100% make me tear up. What's your opinion on Johnny Depp? He’s an incredibly talented actor that I find very attractive, but I don’t know him as a person. Can you speak in different accents? Just British and southern. Who was the last person you mocked/mimicked? My nephew, playfully of course. If you write, isn't writer's block the most horrible thing? THE ABSOLUTE WORST. What size shirt do you normally wear? Ugggghhh generally 2XL, I think. It can be one size smaller or one size larger depending on the shirt. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a song? Just poems. Do you believe there is life on other planets? It’s possible, but I don’t particularly lean a certain way, I think. The universe is just… infinite, you know? But also the circumstances that life rose within Earth were so remarkably perfect to support it that I don’t entirely know if it’s been duplicated elsewhere. When was the last time you fell? Around two weeks ago? I have extremely low blood pressure naturally but also amplified by medications’ side effects, and I got out of bed too fast when I woke up. Hurt my knees pretty bad and barely missed my head hitting the couch. Do you have any sort of debt? I do NOT want to think about this. Is there a specific time period that interests you? The era of dinosaurs of course, as well as the Renaissance, just to name a couple. Do any of your friends own an expensive car? *shrugs* Have you ever been on a train? No. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Are you, or anyone you know, an atheist? I know plenty. Have you ever sent a celebrity fan mail? No. Have you ever been in a musical? No. Is there a friend's family that makes you feel like you're family too? Yeah, Sara’s. Even though I’ve only been with them not that long of a time, they’re wonderful and made me feel so welcome. Do you ever have a fear of getting close to new people? Boy, do I!!!!! It’s funny though, because at the same time, I want to be close with people; I want to rush to the point I have a close friend. It’s weird. What is the worst things about work? N/A And the best? N/A Do you like to sleep in? Not really, honestly. I feel groggy and lazier than I naturally am lmao. Do you like to be an early bird? Well I’m in my best mood in the morning, but I don’t like waking up early. However, I’ve been planning a morning routine to adopt once we move that involves waking up at like 7 or so, so we’ll see how much I enjoy mornings then. But oh boy do I have a habit of saying I’ll do something and then not doing it, so… What is something you notice you just don't watch? History stuff and usually action. Last thing that bothered you even if just a little bit? Something Miss Tobey said to me a few days ago. Last thing that seemed a blessing from above? I don’t believe in supernatural “blessings,” but I’ll bite. The thing that made me happiest recently was uhhhh… I actually don’t know. Nothing that REALLY felt “blessing-ish.” Do you usually drink diet or regular soda? Regular; I can’t do diet. It tends to taste horrible but more importantly the artificial sweetener gives me a wicked headache. Are you on a diet? Not a diet, no. I’m more so just trying to make it a habit to simply eat better and not snack. Someone you highly respect who is not in your family? Sara’s dad. Did you say 'goodnight' to anyone last night? I don’t think I did. Does anyone ever comment on the appearance of your handwriting? People tend to point out it’s really nice. Have you looked at anyone's Facebook profile lately? Whose? Nah. Did you have a cake for your last birthday? What kind? Yeah, red velvet. Can you recall the first horror film you ever watched? How old were you? I actually don’t think I can. Maybe Paranormal Activity? Or The Blair Witch Project? When’s the last time that you mailed a letter or a package to someone, and who was it to? Sara’s bday gift I think. The last book that you checked out from the library? I haven’t done that in years. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman got neutered, and the only time I took Venus to the vet was when I first got her and she refused food for almost a year. Changed the tactic of warming the mouse up and she was more than happy to snag it. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at the pet store? The reptiles, because they’re closest and also my favorite section. Last medication or item that you picked out from the drugstore? Nicole picked up a bunch of my prescriptions that needed refilling. Do you usually have a big list or a small list when you go to the grocery store? I don’t do the shopping here, so it’s not my choice. How much was the last check you deposited? How about the last amount that you took out? I have no clue. Have you ever been admitted into the emergency room? For what? Being suicidal and then a suicide attempt. Have you ever been arrested before? Ridden in the back of a police car? No to the first, but yes to the second because that’s just how you’re transported from the ER to the psych hospital here. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? Thank God no. When did you graduate high school? 2014. How much gas can fit in your gas tank? N/A Does your vehicle break down a lot? N/A What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a sit-down restaurant? I want to say at LEAST 45 minutes once. Can’t remember why it was so busy, though. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? I’ve had cavities and braces, but thank Christ no root canals, and I’ve never had to have a tooth pulled by the dentist, either. Which art forms do you appreciate the most? Man, you can’t ask this to someone who enjoys art so deeply. Like I really don’t know what I enjoy *most*. Music can give me chills, poetry can be so rich and, well, poetic, and traditional artwork strikes awe and makes you wonder how they do it. I just adore art. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? To start, I have very mixed feelings about zoos, but I guess I am *mostly* in favor of humane, adequately providing captivity to a certain degree as this allows for conservation of especially endangered species, and zoos also make it easier to study and understand the silent voices of those we share the earth with. As well, they offer a safe environment to expose the fearful to all sorts of animals, and I feel it is very, very important for humans as the alpha species to care for and understand (as best our language barriers allow) our wonderful neighbors. That being said, I definitely believe that a lot of zoos under-provide for their animals, and this is horribly heartbreaking so that I absolutely disagree with their “right” to own and display animals, but for this specific question, I am going to use my state’s zoo as the standard here. Ashboro, imo is pretty damn great and generous to their animals (you should see the miles of land the elephants, bison, antelope, and rhinos have!), but the exhibit that comes to mind first when mentioning animals I’d like to set free iiiis… you know, I don’t know. I was going to say the polar bears since it can get STUPID hot here in the summer and their abode doesn’t have a great amount of ice that survives the sun, but at the same time I’d be very wary about returning a polar bear home for… obvious reasons. I say “I don’t know” because I’m not gonna pretend to know what ample space is for so many different kinds of animals. Damn, now I really wanna go there. Wow this was a long answer to a p simple question lmao. Favorite kind of fish? I don’t have a distinctly “favorite” fish, really. I don’t know enough of ‘em, but I can say I really like clownfish and angelfish. What kinds of museum artifacts fascinate you? Whew, as someone who took Art History just last year in school, ancient art pieces of all sorts! It is so, so fascinating, watching the evolution of art and to see how the urge to just create extends so, so far back into history. Have you ever gone to court before? For a disability case, yes. Also to convince a judge that I didn’t need to stay in a mental hospital for I think the original plan was around six months. What is the last song that you danced to? Ha ha I watching Hotel Transylvania with my niece and nephew and did the macarena with ‘em. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink? Margaritas or sangrias. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No. Are you more likely to fly in an airplane, or pick people up/drop them off at the airport? Historically, pick people up. Which sporting event would you be most likely to sit through? Dance competitions. Favorite flavor of ice cream? Cone or dish? Any sprinkles? My favorite Basic Bitch flavor is vanilla, just with chocolate syrup. Cone or dish just depends on what I’m feelin’, really. I hate sprinkles on anything; the texture throws me off. Have you ever cut your own hair? No. What do you eat most frequently? Uggghhhh some form of bread, probably. Are you a fan of video games? Yeah, but not as much as I used to be. What's your favorite color combination? Idk really, I like a lot. I will say though that orange and black excites me bc Halloween Vibes. Did you share a locker at school? No. What's one sport you could never play? Wrestling, ew. Have you ever sung karaoke? Oh god no. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? lmao BRO tell me this a joke How old were you when you went on your first date? Idr, sometime in the 7th grade, if group dates in middle school even count? lol Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. If so, who? An ex and probably doctors at some point? Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? Sunday school, really. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? Considering I’ve never left the country, no. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? I only have a laptop. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? No, but I seriously need to memorize my mom’s. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above. Do you know how to use Photoshop? I know how to do a decent number of things, but I’m definitely no expert. Where was your first job? I was a sales associate at GameStop. What's the best place you have ever eaten? Olive Garden is fucking fantastic, fite me about it. Do you own a hair straightener? No, I don’t need one. Are you barefoot right now? I always am at home unless it’s cold enough to need slippers. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nah. Do you need AC right now? No; it’s actually pretty cold inside rn. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? It’s just a derivative of my first name; “Britt.” But I guess that classifies as a nickname. Name something you're proud of. Deciding to actually *try* to move on and making massive progress through it with That Person. Lately I’ve wondered if I truly have, though. My PTSD has been really bad of the late. Does any accent annoy you? I can’t say it “annoys” me, given you can’t really control your accent, but I do find it difficult to understand extremely southern accents, even as a local. Do you take vitamins? This just reminded me I’ve been out of my Vitamin D prescription for a while… oops. I’m supposed to take it for my legs. When was the last time you took aspirin or some other pain reliever? Yesterday, actually. I had a pretty bad headache. When was the last time you deeply regretted something? God, last night, I was remembering and accepting some things. Lemme just say I regret the everloving fuck out of the subject. What is something that you regularly wear that makes you stand out? Besides my lip ring, nothing in particular. Do you prefer small birthday parties or big ones? Small. I just don’t like big gatherings in general. What song are you listening to now? “Creatures X: To The Grave” by Motionless In White. What was the most traumatic experience of your life? The breakup w/ Jason. I’ve told the story enough in surveys and I don’t wanna recite it again. Who was your childhood best friend? Brianna. Are you still friends now? On Facebook, anyway, but we don’t talk. If not, why? We just drifted apart. What is one career you don't think you could do no matter how much it paid? Butcher. No fucking way. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Oh yeah; I’m an admin at the Silent Hill wiki and have invested hours upon hours upon hours helping out there for years. I’m also a content moderator at the Team Ico wiki, and I’ve also assisted a lot at the meerkats wiki because it is a fucking grammatical and formatting catastrophe. I think that’s it? Wait no, I did a few fixes on the Dragons of Atlantis wiki when it was still at the Kabam website, too. Is there a website [besides social networking] that you check almost daily? Yeah, a few. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? I wouldn’t say I get scared, no. Just more aware and cautious. What’s the worst illness you’ve had? I’ve had a fucking wicked stomach virus before. (TMI alert?) I would not stop puking to the point it was agonizing to the point of tears because my muscles were so exhausted. Which do you prefer: M&M's, Skittles, or Reese's Pieces? BITCH can I choose all???? But in almost any chocolate-related case, I will choose a Reese’s product. Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? I don’t plan on getting a face tattoo, or at least a big one. Maybe something small and cute. OH YEAH EW absolutely never getting my sclera tattooed. That looks painful as a motherfucker. Honestly, have you ever stuck gum under a table or desk? No, that shit is disgusting. If your parents could read your thoughts, would you be in trouble? Not usually. Mom might be mad sometimes when I’m angry at her. Have you ever egged somebody's house or car? No, that’s childish as shit. My childhood house was egged once, so it pisses me off especially. Do you like licorice? UGH no, that shit is disgusting. Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? My mom did. Which natural disaster do you find the most terrifying? Tornadoes or earthquakes. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? Alice in Wonderland. If I gave you a Yo-Yo right now, could you do any tricks? Nope.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 90 - 86

90. Suzy - “Queiro ser tua” Portugal 2014

~Huawei Wa Wei~

I have mentioned earlier that Moran Mazor is arguably the saddest NQ, but Suzy is definitely up there in people whose success I was rooting for. Indeed, I mostly love Suzy because she was a TRAGICALLY ROBBED UNDERDOG.

You see, Suzy was ~BULLIED~ from the moment she had won FdC, and beaten Catarina in the F2. Now, I personally don’t mind “Mea Culpa” itself (my favourite was the drunken pirate hag known as 😍 ZANA 😍, but that’s for another ranking). However, I don’t think I’ve *EVER* witnessed a fanbase as  downright evil as the Catarina stans. These ‘people’, by the lack of a better term, make the Beyoncé and Ultimo fans appear like kind and rational people. These... self-proclaimed ‘eurovision fans’ tried to intimidate Suzy into quitting by sending her death threats, all because she DARED to beat their erstwile female-mediocre flavour-du-jour. Who the fuck does that? Human pieces of shit, that’s who. 😤

There’s an *additional* sociocultural connotation to the entire Suzy vs Catarina debacle, but my friend André, who is Brazillian and has Suzy in his 2014 top three made a great post about the issue back in the day, so I’ll just quote him for those who want more backstory:

Quero Ser Tua belongs to a music genre called "pimba", which is perceived by the Portuguese middle and upper classes as tasteless and vulgar because of simple melodies and dirty metaphors (the latter not present in Quero Ser Tua). So they despised Suzy and (...) went in a fucking frenzy [when she won FdC], attacked the composer of Quero Ser Tua (also the father of pimba music), and accused him to rigging the televote and even started dozens of petitions (alol) and regularly vandalised Wikipedia writing that Portugal's entry was "disputed" or that Catarina was the real winner (holy alol).  This drama speaks to me because Quero Ser Tua and pimba music in general sound like other genres of popular music we have here in Brazil that are also derided by the snotty-nosed middle class as vulgar and devoid of "culture", often with racial connotations on top of the social class ones. To me, Suzy's victory (rigged or not) has a political message: pimba IS culture, like any other kind of music, and it deserves to represent a country as great as Portugal because it's part of their culture and they should be proud. It's definitely a bigger statement than the bourgeois, mediocre Mea Culpa and I am proud of every Portuguese that voted for Suzy to win. <3

As for ~my~ layman’s opinion, well, I just think the song possesses some great summer sprit.😊  It’s a colourful explosion of cheerful accordeon, moody percussion and ethnic frivolity. 😍 Listening to “Quero ser tua” makes me very happy about 100% of the time, almost as much as the knowledge that, after being disliked for most of the pre-show, Suzy won everyone except for her most diehard haters over, becoming someone who is now almost unanimously deemed one of the most robbed NQs. STAY PRESSED, HATERS. >pasta :victorydance:

________________________________________________________________

89. Jana Burcheska - “Dance Alone” F.Y.R. Macedonia 2017

[2017 Review here]

Like many of the 2017 entries, my passion for Jana dropped over time. Make of it what you must but I think the live of “Dance alone” kind of cheapens it... and you know what I think about cheap and trashy, I LOVE THAT OBVIOUSLY.😍

However, I also think the cheapness does Jana dirty, because “Dance alone” also happens to be one of my favourite songs OF 2017. Its 80s synth sound and high voltage fierceness left me bald and straight UPON IMPACT, with madly quotable lyrics that I STILL use in friendly banter to this day. 😍 

The awesomeness is only further enhanced by Jana, who is -independently from her song- also one of the best humans in 2017. I absolutely ADORED this goat-voiced gremliness from the SECOND she spent her first interview shading the fuck out of Rykka 😍 (check the 2017 review for the dirt) and then proceeded to troll the press people by teasing that she actually couldn’t sing for no reason. 😍

Which brings me to the live act which.... conceptually is a match to the song, but which also doesn’t do it justice. Don’t get me wrong, Jana contorting her body as she’s assaulted by a Carolean windmachine sustains the crap out of me, but I have always thought “Dance alone” had more potential than shown in the live. (Getting rid of  the “Wishing you could hold me close” closer is particularly upsetting imo.) Moldova and Azerbaijan would’ve turned “Dance alone” into an EASY top 30 in this ranking, but in the hands of Macedonia it’s a mere top 90 for me. 😭

________________________________________________________________

88. Lake Malawi - “Friend of a friend” Czech Republic 2019

only a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend 

Lake Malawi live the ultimate BorisBubbles dream: IMMENSELY annoying song whose appeal hinges entirely on how uncomfortable it makes other people, somehow convinces about ~95% of the loyal eurofans that it’s a fantastic masterpiece. 😍 ADVERSI-DEITIES 😍

Of course, the axis around which Lake Malawi spins is Albert, a human spark plug and mankind’s youngest thirty year old. Seeing Albert fling himself around the stage, never losing his entheusiasm is the main reason why “Friend of a friend” exceeded my already high expectations! Another, slightly-less awesome reason however is the D-sound-like staging:

It really just is a clever, likable entry. Of course, that doesn’t take away that “Friend of a Friend” is objectively one of the most irritating songs ever, making it anathema to the televoters’ tastes <3 😭(😍)

________________________________________________________________

87. Jamala - “1944″ Ukraine 2016

It is only FITTING that Jamala and Lake Malawi rank alongside each other, star-crossed lovers that they are. ALBERT x JAMALA 5ever:

A greater love story than even Alfred x Amaia. However, this post is mostly about Jamala, so LET US discuss a great, if controversial winner. I will start with a small caveat and say that “1944″ isn’t the song for me. One of the biggest dealmakers in Eurovision songs for me is replayability “1944″ just doesn’t have that quality for me. I only really relisten to it when I must, for rewatching purposes. However, that does make the few times I DO revisit “1944″ all the more magical to me. If we take on board that songs are a means of expression, then “1944″ is one of the best songs ever, for the themes it expresses are all too real. I don’t even NEED the gutwrenching, defiant lyrics to *FEEL* the pain the nation of Ukraine is going through. The act sends shivers down my spine, body aching all the time. The Jamala Tree is one of modern Eurovision’s most iconic visuals: 

Of course, that ALSO makes “1944″ one of the most notoriously political entries of all time. Now, other fans of Jamala might argue that, “No, it’s not about the Crimean war at all, just the historic deportation” and well... no? There is a reason why Jamala wrote this song *NOW* and not the last time she entered Vidbir. It *is* Jamala’s way of coping with the Russian invasion, something which *also* ties into her own family history. “1944″ is a very elegant, tasteful middlefinger aimed at Putin, but it’s a middlefinger nonetheless. However, what if it is? The Ukraine vs Russia conflict is a notoriously heated one and potshots are to be expected. If I have to chose between an open attack and a backhanded one (such as that rubbish entry from the Tolmachevy Sisters, or the two rubbish ones by Julia Samoylova), I will always pick the former. 

Overall, I greatly appreciate “1944″ and think it’s a great winner. The composition is evocative of both Ukraine’s history and musical traditions, as well as their current predicament, making “1944″, despite pertaining to a specific year, a timeless experience. It is very deservingly considered one of Eurovision’s best winners by the fanbase, and I hope it remains a favourite for future generations to come. 

________________________________________________________________

86. Joan Franka - “You and Me” The Netherlands 2012

Yes, Joan ranks one spot above Jamala lmfao. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!!! 😈

Back in 2012, I obviously was a feverish Joan stan, mostly for Ironic reasons: “LMFAO JOAN TARD... it’s YOU... and ME! SO SILLY <3″ -- me Circa 2012, when my wit amounted to calling lovable dimwits “tards” and quoting song lyrics. 

In 2019, I can say that... I still love Joan for her ineptitude and frivolity, but with the added layer of *genuinely* loving Joan for Joan. From the consistently offkey singing, to dressing up like a Lakota warchief (completely oblivious to how inappropriate this is 😍), to the bonfires (pandering to the Land Of Fire, Azerbaijan 😍) and the general-happy-go-lucky vibe, “You and me” just feels so.. real? Like a real person regaling real stories of a real romance with a real (boy)friend. It is so disarmingly earnest, which of course, being stuck in 2012, meant that it was unceremoniously offed by the professional juries. TOO PURE FOR THIS DAMN’ WORLD. 😭

Since this update booted the final entries from Portugal, Macedonia and the Czech Republic, I’ll disclose my final thoughts below, as to not disrupt the ranking:

PORTUGAL:

Honestly, a pretty good chart for Portugal, despite being the fourth country to be fully eliminated from the ranking. I was hoping that Salvabrat would have started a hot streak, but alas. Portugal just keep getting screwed over by subpar staging and their own stubborness, leading to insistent dismissal by the fanbase. I fucking hope people (Portugal deniers) come to their senses though because they are consistently robbing one of Eurovision’s best fucking countries. 

NORTH MACEDONIA:

Sean Tarbuck from ESCUnited nailed Macedonia the best: they are a country of amazing music and utterly disastrous lives. They are probably the single worst stagers in Eurovision? The numbers don’t lie, with a qualification rate equivalent worse than San Marino’s. Just look at what Slovenia and Serbia are doing, Maco, and you’ll be fine!!!

CZECH REPUBLIC

There isn’t much to say about the Czech, but they’ve finally contributed with an entry I not only liked, but loved. I do think we are in the beginning years of a Czech Golden Age though and if they can keep that hot streak going, Eurovision might be coming to Prague very soon (ie: within the next five years.)

[quaymorris]

Album: Glory

Release Date: August 26, 2016

Another album cover, another Britney face shot. Aptly titled since it’s a close return to her former glory, at least musically and lyrically. It had been 5 years since her last top ten hit and a chart topping album (Femme Fatale for both). This album didn’t accomplish either, but everyone liked the sound much better!

She also met her current super hot young boyfriend on the set of one of the music videos off this album. Go look at his Instagram, I’ll wait. Rawr.

This is the third potential contender for Britney’s Holy Trinity.

Time for Britney to serve us greatness again!

Pretty Girls | 5 /10

*sigh* I don't hate this song, but it's not good. My boyfriend, however, LOVES this song. Mr. Rock Music Only would not stop singing it when it first came out. He called it a perfect bubblegum pop song so I'll just agree with him on this.

Also, this one wasn’t on Glory, thank god, but it was released during this era. 

Tom's Diner | 8 /10

Fun fact: Britney never finished recording this cover with Giorgio Moroder. He gave interviews noting that she was probably busy. Let me show you what she was actually doing. 

Yes, she was in Hawaii on vacation, far from the studio.

Another fun fact: She recently revealed that she forgot she covered it and she actually texted her manager saying this would be a fun song to cover.

Also not on this album but from this era.

Invitation | 7 /10

I don't know if this made the *best* album opener, but I really enjoy it regardless. That falsetto - yes ma'am! And the lyrics are so subtly sexy: Yes or no, but no maybes / Not gonna beg so don't make me 🎶 ...  I'm wet.

Do You Wanna Come Over? | 6 /10

Even though I don't really like it, I have to admit it's catchy and, considering the Spotify numbers, the GP probably would've pushed this up the charts if it had been released as a proper single + video.

Make Me | 5 /10

I go back and forth on this song. When I haven't listened to it in a while, I'm convinced it's perfect, but a few more listens convinces me it's not. It definitely sets the mood for the album and what she was trying to achieve, but 1) G-Eazy does absolutely nothing for this song and didn't need to be there and 2) It's really hard to understand what she's singing. If you're going to release a single to the GP, a damn lead single, maybe make it a song that's easy for them to understand and sing along to.

Private Show | 5.5 /10

This had to grow on me. The chipmunk voice is a little grating. But it's fun! I love the way she says "work it, work it, boy watch me work it!"

Man On The Moon | 6 /10

Oooh, more bubblegum pop. I can't decide if I think this song is good or just corny af. Lyrics are pretty solid.

Just Luv Me | 7.5 /10

Should've been a single. Maybe not lead, but it's a better r&b-styled effort than Make Me is. Her voice sounds better on this one as well.

Clumsy | 5 /10

Oops! Ok, talk about basic club music lmao. But I LOVE how catchy it is! Probably shouldn't have been a teaser single, though ... it's not that strong of a song. 

Slumber Party | 8 /10

THIS would've been better as the lead single than Make Me. But I also believe it’s a terrible second single. Also also this did not need a remix with Tinashe. Better promo would've propelled this further up the charts imo because that video is muy caliente. I love her deeper/half moaning vocals.

Peep the video to see her lick milk up in front of her man. Rawr.

Just Like Me | 6.5 /10

The lyrics aren't very convincing to me, but the slowed down chorus gives the song a little more depth. It's also sort of forgettable, though.

Love Me Down | 9 /10

One of the best tracks on the album tbh. The way she sings lo-lo-lo-lo-love me is instantly iconic and classic Brit. The half spoken/half sung nature is fucking flawless, too.

Hard To Forget Ya | 2 /10

It's not hard to forget this fucking song, though. The chorus sinks what could be a masterpiece. The verses are excellent!

What You Need | 7.5/10

In spite of my better senses, I do like this song. I'll always maintain that her voice is too thin to pull off what could be a masterpiece of a fucking song, but that doesn't stop it from being pretty damn good. The way she plays with the words when she sings is unmatched.

Better | 6.5 /10

It's good! But it sounds too much like Justin Bieber-style and not Britney Spears, the legend-style. You could put anyone on this song (JB, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, especially Selena Gomez) and it would work.

Change Your Mind | 10 /10

This is the best song on the album, bar none. Should've been a standard edition song AND a single. This is the lead single Britney needed. It capitalizes on some of the trends currently out there, but with a twist. A Britney twist.    

Liar | 7 /10

This is probably the most radio friendly song on the album. I think the GP would've eaten it up, albeit it would've enjoyed a very temporary existence. But Spotify numbers don't lie ...

If I'm Dancing | 9 /10

I wish she would make a whole album of songs like this. It feels so transcendental and exotic, a sound Britney hasn't really explored before. I don't really know wtf the lyrics mean, but I'm still here for it.

Coupure Electrique | 8 /10

I was slightly disappointed when she announced there was a track called Blackout and then it turned out to be this. Don't get me wrong, it's a great song, but the French is ... nonsensical.

Mood Ring | 9 /10

If she wanted a moody first single, move this up to the standard edition and release it. The production, lyrics, everything about it puts Make Me to shame.

Slumber Party (ft. Tinashe) | 7 /10

Even though the song is essentially the same, I'm dropping a star from the original because Tinashe brought nothing to it. They need to stop trying to make Tinashe happen.

L E A K E D  V I D E O

There have (so far) been no leaked songs from this era, but it had its own controversy in the form of a music video. Britney teased a video for the lead single Make Me, which is entirely different from the one we actually got. There’s a whole convoluted story behind that. Anyhoo, I’ll let you decide if it’s good or not (spoiler alert: it’s not), but this shit riled up the fandom.

God, G-Eazy makes me want to gag.

[sixcastappreciation]

sixcago gave me my gay rights

alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third

this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago

like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out

so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.

so to get into the actual show

ex wives

when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment

less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song

i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth

shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later

the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that

adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”

andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that

abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part

when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa

i love brittney mack

courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl

anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god

the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good

oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay

intro thingy:

adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan

annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong

you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud

the way adrianna says maria made me gay

abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up

protestent............ protestant

“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying

“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant

no way

“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it

“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute

her emotion during the monologue was SO funny

it was peak, it was so good

she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it

when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck

so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a

well idk what youd call it but a like

her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”

and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It

adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?

like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little

i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense

you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life

she said that with such conviction goddamn

oh, he doesnt remember

this was so good

the “sh-”s were really funny

the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*

holy shit

i cant put into words

how much i loved that part

the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive

i just checked it was 10 whole seconds

that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever

she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks

the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it

adrianna just had really good stage presence

like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney

it was just so fun to watch her go!

dluh

during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background

like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like

idk like noodling around in the back

and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little

the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute

then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle

then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute

like, her tongue was OUT

“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard

i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy

they were not

pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience

the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed

the way andrea delivered her lines here was just

it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed

uwu

when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way

which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot

don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko

i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because

it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me

i think it fits w andreas portrayal too

everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo

and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?

bro just shut up

the entire audience gasped after that

andrea had actual like, panic on her face

then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”

and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed

it was long enough that everyone got the joke

then she mimed the blow job

her riff on “hell”? iconic

“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine

abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god

“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?

then boleyn goes off

the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”

“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be

heart of stone

oof

okay so the monologue

oof

“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f

“edwina” is still cursed tho

i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but

this made it clear that jane had been Through It

like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation

“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression

this is where she started tearing up i think

okay i gotta take a moment here because

abby was fully crying before the song even started

like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up

i was looking for it specifically

i wrote this before the last part so see above

so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking

holy shit ms meuller what the fuck

im not kidding who gave her the right

at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song

she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying

abby went high on a couple of notes in here

she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow

she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show

but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer

there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause

i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but

i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god

the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense

this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever

i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again

this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller

haus of holbein

hans................................. *holbein*

the chaos

i honestly barely remember most of it it was

i had no idea who to be looking at

but i remember it being beautiful

i dont have the words to express how

fucking funny it was

the accents were hilarious

like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better

they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all

the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground

ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it

she dropped the german accent

and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv

the freeze frame? legendary

anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them

your highness your highness your highness

god adrianna please

actually every h sound that came out of their mouths

but adrianna Got It

get down

oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”

brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead

the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible

she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”

fucking legend

brING me some pheasant!

the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here

this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it

brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased

oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying

iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”

we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo

like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but

brittney went full opera and it was,

wow

shes got a voice on her holy shit

so much talent in such a tiny body

aCHYEAH

she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and

they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again

not like, in a bad way i dont think

it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”

but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything

im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person

everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing

i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already

anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves

her fake crying is next level tho

the confrontation

boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!

the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny

seymours “i died”

we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery

but GOD

and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal

the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad

theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice

courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing

also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it

after she did that she like

rubbed her hand on janes face

and abby looked SO offended

theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me

i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing

and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin

there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting

aywd

courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!

jesus christ

okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but

for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear

like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but

from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid

idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional

not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping

like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent

it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment

im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this

if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional

actually this is already so long ima go for it

so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle

and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig

but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like

she freaked out

and listening back to the audio i can

unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio

because it was so physical

like you could see how scared she was

which made it more relateable to me honestly

like she looked so so scared

it was heartbreaking

the confrontation part ii

oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES

“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me

anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh

idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to

during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute

BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR

idnyl

a cute little b flat major 7

yeah anna parr seems

hmm

she seems like she’s just, over henry

like from the start she just has no time for him

idk im Conceptualizing

anna uzele is

her voice is next level

she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note

anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good

andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny

khoward keeping aragon in line was

not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved

both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”

idk it was a cute character moment

one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix

abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf

yeah, i read

iconique

andrea like, threw her head back for this line

the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is

painfully long and so so so funny

i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny

also her “yeah?” ended my life

she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body

the part where they get all meta. has me dead

it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know

this actually distracted me

i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part

first off, mood

secondly, good

annas riffing. god.

she is so talented

dsfjksdf they all straight up left

six

the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny

abby again killing it with janes cursed lines

courtney howard is actually so cute

when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is

like her “bye!” was so cute

theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute

megasix

adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died

at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute

after the show

i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before

it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane

i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds

abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit

i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah

she was seriously the nicest

the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it

lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because

they killed it

bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times

brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!

i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!

also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”

thank u sixcago program

in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful

im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u

[clnriswood]

“I guess this is kind of all your fault.”

I know I’ve been on my Kai Parker deserved better rant already, but this is more focused just on Bonnie x Kai, and how people seem to forget that Bonnie killed Kai first. As I bring it up, I already know many people won’t like hearing this, but she’s not perfect, and imo that was her worst move. Yes, he was not at the point of his development arc so he probably would’ve interfered with his family on his own terms, but when Bonnie realized he was no use, she impaled and killed him, thinking he’d be dead forever, which was drastic at the time considering they were happy to all go home as friends and move on, but NO. If they had left peacefully it would’ve essentially avoided the whole biggest conflict of the season, and Kai wouldn’t have gone after Bonnie again. I know people all like to blame him for everything, but he hadn’t tried any of that shit until after she tried to literally murder him. Yeah, he’d spiked Damon’s bourbon and not so nicely proved his power, but he could’ve had them dead at any second and he chose not to do that. That’s why, when Kai went to hurt her later, I sort of thought ‘well fair enough considering to him it was that or get killed by her again.’ Also with nobody calling out that she locked post merge Kai up alone again when she knows he’d rather die, not to teach him a lesson and come back or anything, to make him suffer forever when not a single person could forgive Kai, who at this point meant no harm and was an actual stray pup, even though everyone forgave damon, klaus, and enzo for the far worse things they did. I’m not saying what he did to her was okay, because it wasn’t, but he is the one who tried bringing her back from the pw and helped save her with his magic which got her out, which nobody conveniently mentioned to her, she didn’t even give him a chance before she made up her mind about him, and you’re telling me not one person gave a shit when she left him bleeding out and alone?! I know Kai made the joke about Elena forgiving Damon but not him, but as usual, HE WASN’T WRONG, and she was ‘so selfless and kind,’ yet she only forgave everyone except Kai, who didn’t even need her love to not be a killing machine unlike Damon, mhmm? Honestly, by the end of that season I was just like, you know what bitch, fuck this, ya’ll should’ve seen that wedding massacre coming you lot of selfish assholes, good for Kai for teaching you a lesson, even though Kai’s empathy and emotion vanishing with no explanation was another plot hole. But all of this, everything that came after, was started by Bonnie, and that’s a fact. I say this as someone who feels like Bonkai was such wasted potential and poor + illogical writing that was done to prevent any chance of them happening, even though it could’ve been a damn good relationship if merge Kai got even one chance to show his growth before Plague threw him out. Kai in the finale says, “so I guess this is kind of all your fault,” and you know what, if you trace that back to everyone neglecting him, her stabbing him and really thinking that hot piece of ass wouldn’t get revenge, and then way at the start of their story when she chose to kill him, it kind of is.

edit: this in no way means anything negative about Bonnie herself, rather i meant the poor and illogical treatment of her by the writers that made no sense. Bonnie Bennet deserved better than to be overshadowed and neglected by Plec.

[gakkawojin]

time for a eurovision ranking rant with sav that no one cares about wooooooo

this is actually vaguely in order of songs i love through to dislike so here goes

italy: francesco gabbani, occidentali’s karma my clear winner near enough since it was announced, honestly. good hook, good overall sound, unique amongst this year’s selection, interesting theme, faintly silly dancing, europe’s cool uncle. solid winner. will probably do very well in the show and maybe win, roma 2018 right boys, honestly though this is one of my fave esc entries in years if not ever

moldova: sunstroke project, hey, mamma! see above: good beat, good sound, questionable silly dancing, europe’s other cool uncles. decent vocals, excellent musicians, and they really seem pleased/proud to be representing moldova again (imo ola tira held them back this time), this is a solid club/party song and i think a solid qualifier. maybe not a winner, but i’m expecting/hoping for a good result for moldova! hopefully their second time in the top ten, maybe even their first top 5 if they’re lucky

belarus: NAVI, historyja mahjo žyccia another i loved from the first time i heard it in the national selection days (i didn’t think it would win cause everything i love seems to die on the stage at nf shows) and it’s much stronger with the new rework. it’s just such a happy, feelgood song, they’ve got great voices and chemistry together, it still stands out even weeks after its announcement and i love it. also first entry in belorussian yesssss

the netherlands: OG3NE, lights and shadows i’ll be honest, when i first listened to the studio i wasn’t in love, but then i heard their live performance and hoooooooooooly shiiiiiiit man they’re good. will need strong/dramatic staging because the song itself is a bit 90s but it’s got a good build and some amazing vocal work, i would love for this to do well

portugal: salvador sobral, amar pelos dois i hate ballads, i do, but i love this -it’s quirky, something a bit different, and his voice is lovely. it reminds me of old disney movies in the best way. it actually reminds me a bit of pernilla karlsson’s när jag blundar for finland a few years ago, weirdly, but i really like them both. i hope this year finally brings portugal back into the finals because this is gorgeous, honestly

austria: nathan trent, running on air i really like this, honestly -i don’t think it’s a winner by any means, but it’s good, radio friendly, it’s feel good and fun and i like it. i’m curious what’s gonna happen with staging but i think nathan’s a strong dancer and performer so this should do okay for austria, it’s similar in tone/style to last year and they did alright then so

france: alma, requiem i really liked this on release, but her live vocals just don’t hold up as well as i’d wanted them to, and i feel the song starts to trail in the last minute or so. i still really like it and i think it’s another really solid effort for france this year but it’s just not as strong as some of the other entries for me

estonia: koit toome & laura, verona hilariously i haaaaaaaated this in the early days of eesti laul (my girl elina born was there after all so) but it really grew on me, their voices are solid together and i think with a bit more practice/better staging this could do well, given there’s so few duets this year

hungary: joci papai, origo i reaaaaaaally like this, except the weird little rap bit. hopefully europe aren’t our usual hideous racist selves about it and it qualifies and does well, cause it’s so unique and it’s such a love letter to hungarian culture. the staging and music is beautiful i really love it

latvia: triana park, line this isn’t something i can see myself listening to over and over again, but it’s a decent song and the staging is wiiiiiiild, it’s gonna stand out, kick ass, take names and probably a top 15 spot imo

finland: norma john, blackbird i don’t love this, it’s okay, but her voice is gorgeous hot damn. it probably won’t win but it’s just really a very nice song. i worry it might get lost or forgotten, which i think is a big issue/worry with a lot of entries this year

everything past this point i flat out dislike or just hate honestly so this gon be brief

cyprus: song is passable to good, but i was immediately concerned when he mimed his first live performance, it just looks shoddy and i’m now thinking he can’t actually pull these notes off

poland: decent song, i’m just not huge on her voice. she can definitely sing and she’s got a solid jazz vocal, it’s just not my thing

denmark: it’s just a bit forgettable, honestly. it feels just like an x factor singer’s second single, which it is, but i just think it airs too closely to generic for me

switzerland: it’s alright, she’s gorgeous, but it’s just nothing to write home about. their aesthetic is on point but it’s just doesn’t do much for me

united kingdom: ...no comment. honestly we’re so meh this year i can’t

germany: oh bless you. honestly this isn’t even terrible, everyone is just gonna immediately forget about it

ukraine: i like rock at eurovision. i do not like this. the staging just creeps me out with the dodgy prosthetics and i just think it’s so dark and grumpy and sad, i’m not a fan at all

spain: forgettable. all i know is he wants me to ‘do it for your lover’. what is ‘it’

albania: i really like it in albanian, and her voice is insanely strong but i’m worried the english version is gonna lose all its charm and musicality as has happened on many occasions before

belgium: solid meh. sounds like it tries too hard to be indie, wishes she was lana del rey, the music is good and the song itself is fine, but i am fairly sure this won’t work live because it just sounds so forced

greece: someone let them know cascada called and asked for the breakdown from ‘glorious’ back, this sounds so 2006 and i cannot, it’s an improvement from last year certainly but still not a strong comeback imo

croatia: completely ridiculous and i can’t wait for the live performance in the same sense that you can’t tear your eyes off a train wreck

georgia: she’s got a powerful voice that’s for sure but the song is so repetitive and the staging is just bland as hell

australia: it’s just dull god love them, it’s another ballad in a sea of ballads and he’s like 17 telling me how difficult and hard love is, i don’t care, will qualify ‘because it’s australia’ and it’s just so eh

czechia: oh, oh sweetheart

slovenia: why did you pick this, who hurt you

malta: see above

romania: i literally hate this and cannot wait to buy the album so i can delete it, fuck me i can’t stand it

also two of the national finals happening this weekend (that i’m missing because family event bah) that might return hope and joy to this year’s contest:

sweden: i will take literally anyone winning as long as it’s not lisa ajax or ace wilder cause they both drive me nuts. personally i’m rooting for mariette or robin bengtsson but wiktoria will probably take it

iceland: again will take basically anyone qualifying here, i’d prefer either of the arons or even daði but honestly they’re all alright, except maybe hildur but eh

[yenneferw]

You thirsty bitch jfc: In the Flesh, Supernatural, Hannibal, Black Sails

In the Flesh: 

my all-time ultimate fave character: Simon Monroe have you ever seen him in a sweater he is beautiful 

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Jem was really shitty in the beginning but she got a lot better really quickly

a character I used to like but now don’t: the show’s not long enough for me to hate anyone lmaooooo

a character I’m indifferent about: idk some of those side characters they focused on for a hot second. I could see what they were going for but I just wanted my boys and Amy

a character who deserved better: Amy :-(

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: I think I liked all of the ships they gave us fortunately 

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Obvs Simon and Kieren and Kieren and Rick. Iconic. When will your faves EVER

a cute, low-key ship: Philip and Amy were cute low-key

my favourite storyline/moment: I really liked Kieren’s acceptance of his zombiehood and all and also I relaly like that Simon exists

a storyline that never should have been written: Mmm Amy died and that’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me

my first thoughts on the show: Ooh cool zombies

my thoughts now: I’m so in love with Simon and Kieren and Amy and I would die for them and this is the best show in the world and it’s the worst thing ever that it was canceled and I’m almost certainly dead bc of this show

Supernatural: 

my all-time ultimate fave character: Dean or Cas for sure it kinda fluctuates 

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: I didn’t used to like Meg bc she was a bitch in the beginning but then she was fucking awesome 

a character I used to like but now don’t: I liked Ruby and then she turned into a bitch so I didn’t liek her in the end

a character I’m indifferent about: Idk I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head

a character who deserved better: Charlie. Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie. If you don’t think her death was bullshit then I don’t know if you were watching the sae show that I was

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: That Charlie/Dorothy thing? Was that a big thing? I can’t remember. But I do support Charlie being alive with a girlfriend 

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Destiel lmaoooooooo 

a cute, low-key ship: Mm I think I remember thinking Dean/Benny was cute

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: what ships are unpopular? I feel so disconnected from the fandom anymore. Probably megstiel 

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Sam and that Amelia girl. Who was she. Why was her only purpose manpain. I’m so tired

my favourite storyline/moment: Demon Dean was tragically short-lived and I wish spn would just keep turning him into a demon like we do lmao but also when Cas comes onscreen? Iconic

a storyline that never should have been written: All the damn dropped plotlines I used to know a bunch but I can’t remember them now. Also does homophobia, misogyny, and racism count. Bc lmao,,,,,,,

my first thoughts on the show: Unfortunately I was a superwholock bitch so idk what my first thoughts were but they were probably embarrassing 

my thoughts now: the horse is dead. does its corpse really need beaten anymore. But also I’m still gonna watch it bc they own my ass. Could’ve been so much cooler if you remove a) homophobia b) racism c) misogyny d) manpain and added instead More Castiel

Hannibal:

my all-time ultimate fave character: Will Graham I’m so

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Idk did I dislike anyone? I mean I never liked Freddie but who did. I probably didn’t like Abel Gideon or whatever at first but he was a really cool serial killer and probably my favorite one of them on the show so

a character I used to like but now don’t: I started like Jack less toward the end. Everyone was going bad. It was a wild time. Like if you like falling from grace plots then Hannibal Is For You bc that’s literally every single goddamned character except pure gay Brian and Zeller in the background

a character I’m indifferent about: Idk I was pretty attached to everyone. Maybe Bedelia actually. I didn’t really have any thoughts on her

a character who deserved better: Beverly I kinda wish they hadn’t killed her off actually 

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: I think ppl ship Hannibal and Bedelia which nah

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Hannigram how iconic 

a cute, low-key ship: Alana/Margot also super fucking iconic I wish they had more

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Hannibal and Alana but I think that’s obvious considering he was high key manipulating her 

my favourite storyline/moment: The first part of s3 as a whole was really good but I also like the innocence of s1 but also the subtle fall from grace in s2. I just really love this show okay it was a very good show

a storyline that never should have been written: I don’t know if there was one it was a really well-written and good show imo. 

my first thoughts on the show: I found this show when Sherlock was kind of dying off bc of the fucking shitshow that was s4 and someone said it was basically better Sherlock and I was like alright I’ll go for it

my thoughts now: Lord. Heck. I love this show so much I should really rewatch it because I feel like I’m losing some of my love for it 

Black Sails:

my all-time ultimate fave character: James Flint. A gay icon. When will your fave ever. I’m sobbing right now okay I love James Flint more than I love most things he is literally the best thing to ever happen to anything ever and I would die for him. Honorable mention: Max. I cry when she breathes she’s so perfect

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Charles Vane. This show is really good at humanizing characters. I still have a lot of problems with Vane but I like where he was going in the end and I appreciate that he martyred himself. Also Teach for similar reasons, and also because his interactions with Jack did a good job of humanizing him I think. Plus his execution? Best martyrdom ever

a character I used to like but now don’t: Eleanor. I sort of liked her again for a hot second but I just didn’t like her after a while. She was going down a path I couldn’t get behind

a character I’m indifferent about: Go big or go home I’m indifferent about no one

a character who deserved better: Everyone they’re all so perfect I’m crying. Idk maybe Miranda tho like I completely agree with why she had to die for the story but I definitely had a Moment when she died and then I cried a lot about it

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Go big or go home motherfuckers. I guess maybe Eleanor/Rogers tho I don’t know that I ever felt anything for them. Until s4 I wasn’t convinced on silverflint bc I knew the ending tho but then ep1 of s4 and I was sold, on board, and ready to die for them

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: flinthamilton when will your faves EVER also maxanne CHRIST I love them with my entire heart and soul and I cry constantly. Also silverflint at this point I’m in love with all of them I’m sobbing right now

a cute, low-key ship: John and Madi are cute. And I’ve always liked the background relationship between Featherstone and Idelle idk

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: I feel like ppl don’t really ship Gates and James but I def did

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I don’t think that it shouldn’t ahve happened because it was integral to their storylines and their characters, but Eleanor/Charles Vane. I didn’t like them but just because they weren’t right for each other at all. But their relationship did largely influence how they interacted with the storyline and each other and stuff so it was important.

my favourite storyline/moment: When James or Max or Anne walk on screen? Iconic. But no I liked when James was slipping after Miranda and did all the shit like blowing up the town. It was just very exciting and I was really attached to Miranda so I was backing him completely. But I also really just like s2 in general.  

a storyline that never should have been written: I don’t think anything shouldn’t have been written. It’s such a good show that I can’t think of anything that I really didnt like as a whole. I’m sad James and John are splitting apart I guess but I completely understand why it has to happen and I know Thomas is at the end so it’s okay

my first thoughts on the show: I saw two men kissing with the tag black sails and was desperate for representation so I made us watch it

my thoughts now: Oh my god there is literally no tv show better than this show. NOthing will ever be good enough for me because of this show. I want to explode every time I think of it I have so much love in my heart for it