#immediately makes a 'bad' choice bc she thought it was justified. but it's not and she doesn't really gain anything from it besides the

[swordmaid]

big fan of shri'iia's first decision (after committing to the Oathbreaker role) is to fucking raid, loot and wipe out a creche - a place that's used to raise children - acting exactly how lolth expects her followers to act. but considering that since she's no longer following lolth, she's not going to get the praise and approval she would've gotten, instead, she will get scorned for it and rightly so!

[berylgrace]

final episode review

this show has been... a rollercoaster to say the least. some thoughts (good and bad) under the cut.

the fight with ares... loved seeing percy come into his own wrt his power, wish the fight had lasted longer than literally thirty seconds... i know the idea was drawing first blood but that scene made it look easy, which it WASN'T, because he's the GOD OF WAR

olympus looked really cool

love love loved the poseidon scene, which surprised me after i was so disappointed by ep7. although it was a weird choice to have him just immediately come in and surrender, i guess we're going with the angle that he trusts percy enough to know there are bigger things at stake. still kinda weird for a prideful god tho

it's more afterwards that i enjoyed. as i said to @posallys literal minutes ago, he tells percy that the sea does not like to be restrained, while the two of them have an exchange that reads, very emotionally, as two people trying their absolute HARDEST to restrain themselves: poseidon being bound by godly rules and unable to say directly what he wants to, and percy holding back on asking the questions he's wanted to ask his entire life, being respectful, calling him sir

mixed feelings about the luke thing. i liked the atmosphere of the scene, the fireworks and celebratory vibe juxtaposed against the darkness and percy being alone with luke, but the way it played out didn't make sense. he (and annabeth) were certain it was clarisse, and had no reason to suspect luke, but we had a case of "inexplicably percy knows everything" yet AGAIN as he just... connects the dots? except there WERE NO DOTS TO CONNECT?

luke's explanation being that he didn't report clarisse bc of her supporters and needing proof - completely believable! absolutely no reason to question that.

which brings me to annabeth being there. she's supposed to be keeping an eye on clarisse, so what prompted her to follow percy and luke to the woods instead? she trusts luke, she doesn't trust clarisse. make it make sense

thankfully i don't think this will affect her defense of luke because although she heard it all (...okay), luke attacked after percy mentioned hermes. annabeth had already warned him about that, going as far as to shut off the iris message before he could mention him. so i guess in her mind she can justify the attack that way (unlike she would've been able to with the scorpion but... rip that i guess) and still believes luke is good, just misguided

"I'm here to recruit," line went hard as FUCK

the bait and switch with the sally reunion only to turn into kronos? that was rude to do to me at 2am. did not see it coming. kinda cool

postcredits with gabe just... everyone else has said it better yeah but the whole point is that sally CAN'T divorce gabe, this is her only way out without being completely ruined financially, it just takes away so much from her character. like? if she could've divorced him all that time why didn't she? i know abusive relationships are complex and people stay for certain reasons but sally only stays bc she cannot leave financially. he literally had to DIE and her to sell the statue in order to barely afford living on her own (bc in SOM, percy talks about how they struggle with money, and the skateboard shop is a treat)

so... out of 10 i would give this show like, a 5. it was just frustrating at times, paced weirdly, and i would like to see a season 2 and hope for improvements. also a big shoutout to leah's hair at the very end?? so cute i nearly cried

[horizon-verizon]

before ep1 dropped there were some reviews that mentioned how rhaenyra only had one line with 4 words in the episode that would cause something grand to happen.

Lots of people had speculated that it'd be "Lucerys shall be avenged", which would make her an accomplish to b&c.

I personally wouldn't have liked that direction because I think b&c is actually a great reason to create an argument between daemon & rhaenyra. Instead of the show's attempt of putting daemon's feelings in regards of viserys as an excuse for him to be an asshole to his wife.

On the other hand, the actual line "I want Aemond Targaryen" was so bad? Especially with the context of Rhaenyra finally having returned, she walks into her counsil with all people lined up, giving her the latest information and expecting orders. Only for her to just spit out this sentence and immediately walk out, abandoning them once more.

I KNOW she's grieving. I don't expect rhaenyra to go warrior mode (tho it's questionable choice to have depress without showing any rage to the general green party. Did Aegon even throw a feast for Aemond after he returned? I don't think we ever found out about it. But had it happened, dunno, yes, kill aemond but also it'd make sense to kinda want everyone who celebrated your son's death feel some sort of wrath), but it seems as if the show tries to put her in a position where the viewer can't help but feel frustration with her.

it also doesn't help that Daemon is the only own who wants to act (nevermind the idea of just going to king's landing with dragons is stupid). Which brings me to the next concern, in the preview teaser for ep2 rhaenyra is shown arguing with daemon, berating him that his actions (b&c I presume) have "weakened her claim tot he throne" which no? it hasn't? It has made her appear cruel but how does it "weaken" her claim? (which btw should be called birthright. Because viserys chose her himself. Claim implies her and Aegon being on an equal footing)

Also, I assume people know about Luke's murder? So while a cruel act, it could also be seen as an "eye for an eye". Then again, there's no single character referring aemond as a kinslayer - a title that tainted him. So who knows, maybe they'll bring it in future episodes or not at all.

All in all, the writing on rhaenyra is weird again. I know her having a small screentime and only uttering one sentence seem like grand because they finally allowed Emma to show some emotion. But on the long run, there was so much exposition throughout the entire episode, that having rhaenyra having the littlest dialogue she could possibly have comes off more as a way to justify the blacks having few scenes here and there while the focus being in the greens.

A)

There was an ask somewhere where someone berated bk1Rhaenyra for not punishing Daemon and I answered that she'd likely didn't want to prevent her armies from being raised, as Daemon does. I should have also mentioned that she really couldn't when he was already at Harrenhal away from Dragonstone when he & Mysaria or just him, or just Mysaria plotted B&C.

And by the time he comes back, it's to meet up w/her at KL to take the Red Keep and she still had uses for him. that and I think she'd just not think abt that after Jaecaerys died, the attempt on her life, and the possibility of B&C not going according to Daemon's plan to remove Aegon from the greens instead of Aemond, bc reminder: Aegon is the head/Aemond wanted to also be seen as a capable ruler and I doubt he'd forgo the chance of being king which would trouble the greens' paltry condition of unity, etc.

As you refer, still think he genuinely thought to kill one of Helaena's sons and not one of Alicent's because that matches Rhaenyra's and his own grief PLUS Rhaenyra's followers still fought for her after Jaehaerys' beheading, so....whatever Daemon-Mysaria did to enlist as many followers for Rhaenyra + Rhaenyra's own reputation (Realm's Delight, that tour in the riverlands) and maybe a few of them had enough ignorance to STILL follow Rhaenyra instead of stay neutral after Jaehaerys' death more likely than not was announced and told throughout the kingdoms at any level of horror/gore/detail 🤷🏾‍♂️. Says something abt this world, but point is that that within the same world many greens stans argue "Rhaenyra would have to kill her brothers bc there'd be rebellions", all this shows that even if she hadn't already said she wasn't going to kill any of her siblings at the beginning she had more people on her side than not.

rhaenyra is shown arguing with daemon, berating him that his actions (b&c I presume) have "weakened her claim tot he throne" which no? it hasn't? It has made her appear cruel but how does it "weaken" her claim? (which btw should be called birthright. Because viserys chose her himself. Claim implies her and Aegon being on an equal footing)

I agree, he didn't weaken much. You could maybe make the argument that he made her look bad, and she can express that she feared he cost her a few allies' enthusiasm to follow her bc of possible claims of kinslaying...It's not impossible that a small number of lords use this as reason to not follow her or look for ways to bow out during their fighting for her later. But that's very unlikely bc that is siply not how the dominant ethical values they live and grew up under would see this.

It's too easy for people to bring up it was an act to revenge for Lucerys' death and some of them would probably not feel like they could say much with such a blood debt also motivating them to act and "rebalance" the wrong done. Through some similar enough method. As what was that "eye for an eye" feudal-honor precedent that many greens stans flung in defense of Aemond killing Luke but unsuccessfully bc an eye =/- a whole person's life.

AND Aemond only really charged after Luke bc Maris goaded him by saying he was "sissy" for not doing so, so it wasn't necessarily for the eye but bc Luke "dared" to cost him an eye. Him, the "trueborn" male princeling. On top of being born of a woman "stealing" his and his brother's "birthright".

Jaehaerys' life is more "equivalent to the value of Lucerys' life.

Again, none of this is actually ethical, child death is horrendous. I'm saying that one cannot argue that in this world and in its society's feudal ethical system we cannot say that Daemon actually put her claim at jeopardy. Not bc B&C/the youth of the kid in question was so horrific and enough to turn any of them off from Rhaenrya, so Rhaenyra saying as much doesn't really make that much sense.

Not even Manfyrd Maidenpool cited B&C as reason for his later defection of self preservation!

B)

but it seems as if the show tries to put her in a position where the viewer can't help but feel frustration with her. it also doesn't help that Daemon is the only own who wants to act (nevermind the idea of just going to king's landing with dragons is stupid)

But can I tell you something crazy, anon? The original story has Rhaenyra more or less being of similar detachment that others have clocked as GRRM over-pathologizing a mother's grief to make her removed from the actual war efforts so men around her (who could also be grieving different people at different times but somehow also manage to be more involved in the planning themselves) other than delegation.

Don't get me wrong, delegation is obviously necessary. But he made it so that she isn't even a part of the KL takeover plans Jacaerys & Corlys had. He also could have had her recover herself enough to present the Dragonseed plan, similar to how there are many legends/true histories of women enlisting locals in those histiographies written by men.

Admittedly a lot of those stories are women who did so in the name of a male relative instead of in their own name...but GRRM could have done a tweak here the same way he tweaks Matilda's entire life to create Rhaenyra-the-character. He also could have had her and/or her ladies write down their thoughts, reasons, observations...some septa...or some pseudonym-having female historian in companion/contrast to Gyldayn AND/OR extend the timeline for Rhaenyra to recover and actually be more active during the war besides delegating tasks and deciding on compromises. So there have already been frustrations with Rhaenyra's character in terms of the displayed lesser seeming of competence in comparison to the men around her.

("Rhaenyra Triumphant")

Again, let me make myself clear. It's not that Rhaenyra was totally incompetent and that's why she doesn't deserve to rule OR be sympathized with in my eyes, bc:

LINK (Rosby & Stokeworth)

if there were other readily available candidates for the position, she'd likely have chosen someone else and not isolate another of her close-by-proximity allies during a unique and precarious situation; what's similar b/t them is that both Celtigars refused to the tax the surrounding nobles or give up some of his own AND unlike Edwell Celtigar, Bartimos Celtigar's taxes came more from a place of true necessity -- the state of the crown's ability to invest in anything for the entire city was already imbalanced from the greens stealing the royal treasury

she already showed she could rule when nothing terrible or stupid came from her actions to the poor smallfolk (nor any possible rich people) were rumored nor confirmed to have happened out of Dragonstone before the war, when she ruled it as active "Princess of Dragonstone...so even the claim that she's a bad ruler is more than likely false and all the decisions she does make later were under the context and pressures of having no money, rising discontent from the Shepherd, war, kinda being trapped in KL bc of the Hightower-Daeron/Aemond-Criston armies, etc....of which Jaehaerys not even had to deal with...Rogar, Alyssa, and even Rhaena were the ones who actually enabled him to obtain the throne even as Rogar was responsible for Edwell Celtigar's appointment as master of coin!!! Again, all POST-WAR -- Jaehaerys wouldn't have been able to be king at all w/o Alyssa and co. A teenage Jaehaerys delegated the task of re-raising funds to Rego Draz, he didn't do much--bc he was a teen and new but he could afford to bc he didn't have the pressure to immediately/asap raise funds as Rhaenyra did. The cash that Rogar was trying to raise & Rego later redressed was for the Dragonpit, not so much the entire city and not from a lack of treasury funds that were stolen.

there is peacetime rule vs wartime command, and wartime command often gets conflated w/peacetime rule bc yes a lot of war is strategy and prioritization and allocation of resources; however, there are different rules, conditions, pressures in these two separate contexts and people forget that often!!!

this society doesn't care for ability to rule as the end all be all determining who should rule unless it comes down to that person having most/all of the cards over most/everyone else [check out Shiera Blackwood and Argella Durrandon] -> "ability" gets conflated as overall ability to rule bc of this oversight even in Westeros itself and it should have been interrogated by F&B's readers but it hasn't and therefore we get people hating on Rhaenyra for these decisions than than they should...

Like you can be frustrated w/GRRM for giving her another loss without any memorable personal wins in sight, but that she made this decision (taxes, Rosby-Stokeworth vs Ulf-Hugh's rewards) at all shouldn't be seen as black-white-she-did-wrong I'd agree/relate. But I don't this is not the same as the former argument and it's much more complicated than that.

[spacedlexi]

hbo tlou spoilers (and the game too) just rambling to myself bc i gotta get these thoughts out of my head

feeling.. conflicted about that episode still. wasnt gonna say anything but im a little bit nervous about how joel and ellie are being handled at this point just like overall

ellie to a lesser extent i just feel like shes a little.. one note almost (they gave her the joke book and she had some nice moments with sam at least). theyre just playing so hard into the spitfire side of her but game ellie was way sweeter and kinder than i think people remember? when i started my re-playthrough even i forgot how like.. chill she was honestly. a lot of her anger was reactionary/in defense and not always just immediately antagonistic. hbo ellie needs more softness to her its starting to annoy me a bit how just outright hostile she is to literally everyone

but in joels case.. the changes they made this episode honestly i feel were detrimental to his character development. they make it seem like joel asking tommy to take ellie is more about the fact that hes aging and hes afraid hes going to get ellie killed, so he needs tommy to take her because he has a greater chance of making it back. and they side step a bit the selfishness of joels request. when in the game it was SOLEY about joels selfishness and how he could tell he was starting to feel protective of/close to ellie and wanted to stop that shit immediately by passing her off to tommy so he could just wash his hands of the whole thing (which would also put tommy at risk and maria chews him out for it (which i wouldve liked to have seen in the show but alas...)). and the argument he and ellie get into (after she runs away!!) is supposed to be the culmination of those feelings and how hes pushing her away and hes afraid of being a dad again (im NOT your dad. and we are going our separate ways). but ultimately chooses to stay with ellie and that choice is SO IMPORTANT!! and now in the show its like... ok so... now youre Not afraid of.. getting her killed? because you STILL have a bad ear and ptsd? (that he wouldve had for a while anyway so honestly its a little funny theyre playing it up so hard all of a sudden him clutching at his chest all the time is just kinda funny to me again where is the subtlety i dont see it). and like with this change it makes their argument (and their reconciliation) less powerful honestly to me at least. that argument they have is seared into my brain its still one of my favorite scenes but i just wasnt feeling it as much with this different set up of events (and also imo the game still has the better actor performances PLEASE watch those scenes if you havent)

and this side stepping of joels selfishness as a character is honestly a problem for me. and im afraid what it might mean for future episodes. because joels selfishness is very integral to his character. knowing what i do about whats coming down the line, and how theyve been talking about the “cure” so far, im so 😬 just clenching my teeth so hard. because they just... keep saying every once in a while that “there can never be a cure making a cure would be hard how would you even manufacture and distribute it?” (squinting REAL HARD AT THAT LAST ONE!!) and im soooo nervous that they might downplay just how much of a selfish asshole joel is and how they might try to make his future actions less terrible.... or justify them in some way..... or something equivalent to downplaying what happens..... 

i mentioned it a while ago but these are arguments the fans have been having since summer 2013 but what annoys me about it is that none of it even matters!!! because the Only thing that matters is joels selfish choice. not whether hes right or wrong. the ambiguity is the whole point!! the selfishness is the whole point!! joel doesnt care and hes gonna do whatever he thinks is necessary regardless of the repercussions. and i am just so afraid theyre gonna undercut that. I HOPE THEY DONT IM CROSSING MY FINGERS SO HARD THAT THEY DONT WE CAN CELEBRATE IF THEY DONT but sometimes people are afraid to let their characters be shitty and have flaws and act selfishly and joel is a bit of a controversial character already. i hope they dont try to make him/his actions more “acceptable” somehow. i LIKE that hes like this it makes him INTERESTING

but yeah the rest of the episode was fine i guess. loved seeing jackson. oh but i will say that the end of the episode felt so uneventful to me which is hilarious based off of what happens, but the way things play out in the game is SO TENSE and drawn out that in comparison was just really weak in the show unfortunately. im sure it was a “for time” reason and like it still gets the idea across but again just more reason for me to stand by the game still being The True Last of Us Experience. looking forward to the left behind episode tho i am so excited to see my girl riley again 💔

[badedramay]

i also feel like the yumna situation isn't really comparable bc the anger stems from the fact that yumna built her image on being the indie darling who did the thought provoking projects that were markedly different from what was mainstream, only to end up trying to justify working in a project as egregious as tere bin. like when you have something like dil nah umeed toh nahi in your repertoire, in which a focus on violence against women and the horrors of it are so pronounced to the point you risk being banned by pemra, it's hard to justify your own integrity as an actor when you switch to something like tere bin once mainstream success is more immediately accessible to you (and the same goes for wahaj). obv plenty of pakistani actors have starred in projects ranging anywhere from mid to trash. it's an unfortunate reality if staying consistently employed is the goal esp when you're starting to build your career. but when you're a veteran with a reputable resume to boot you have a choice and people are going to notice what you choose and how you wield the influence you've developed. you don't see sajal or kubra or ramsha or mawra interested in starring in the same trash simply bc they're more famous now than they were before. some of their projects may have shortcomings (eg hum kahaan kay sachay thay or for a more recent example neem) but the social statements of their works are clearly important to them and that's what people are criticizing yumna for lacking at present. even moreso when she's taking active steps to defend herself from criticism rather than hearing out and acknowledging what worthwhile criticism there is. i hate it when actresses are lectured on humbling themselves but listening to her comments at the round table recently was alarming for me. there's all too many actors including her who feel entitled to shrug off criticism bc if they know they acted well then that's seemingly all that matters. i can't imagine living in a state of unreality like that

but Tere Bin isn't the only mainstream drama that she has done though? Raaz e Ulfat is right there. Guzaarish was also a soapy melodrama. so it's not like her repertoire is only made up of the artsy dramas. Pukaar too, if I'm not wrong, had her as a damsel in distress for the most run-time of the show. frankly, I don't mind Yumna doing more proper mainstream dramas because let's face it..the on-ground popularity come from such dramas only. TB's success led her to gain more commercials and more campaigns which mean more money for her. actors already have a limited shelf life..why wouldn't she want to make the most of it now that the opportunity has struck?

TB was a mess. no arguments there. it was problematic and probably the worst character Yumna had to give life to. I agree. but how does that mean Yumna has fully switched to these roles? afaik her next confirmed project is a movie Nayab that's taking her back to her character-driven narrative roots. who knows what her next project is going to be? I'll reserve my criticism for her if she chooses to do another TB because yeah, then this becomes a choice. but until then..this girl has done more than enough projects in her career as an actor to warrant at least one project where she gets to relieve herself from social responsibility and just have fun. acting in Pakistani drama industry is already hard enough, it doesn't need to become a platform for activism all the time especially when all the responsibility is thrust on the shoulders of the actors when they are the most dispensable pawns of the game and the real power lies in the hands of the executives and makers. I find it unfair if all the work Yumna has done over the years gets dismissed because of one bad project (that I personally believe she didn't expect to blow up in the way it did) or that her previous conscious choices of project be seen in a suspicious or dubious light.

not every actor has the same circumstances so expecting them all to make similar choices or have the same career arc is not wise. we can't disregard the fact that acting is also a job for these people and sometimes as an employed adult you gotta suck it up. Yumna has power, Yumha has a voice; and she has used it plenty in some very powerful projects. but like every adult she has the right to not be defined by being just one kind of actor. as I type this I am reminded of how Maya had said that Yumna mostly gets cast in these heavy character roles when she can do something completely different if given a chance and she should be given a chance.

if Yumna is facing criticism for defending TB then she's also receiving immense love for this project in real time. expecting her to denounce the project that continues to give her love and acceptance sounds rather...foolish, no? i doubt Yumna is dumb enough to not know where TB went wrong with her character likewise she's not dumb enough to not acknowledge that TB is her biggest success. she's stuck in a catch 22.

honestly I don't see how being part of projects that almost get banned by PEMRA or barely get any ratings or views are some matter of pride and only they should be an actor's standard. even the biggest actors in the most stable industries want to have a balance of artsy and mainstream projects to satisfy both the artist and the actor in them. if Yumna is doing that as well..so what? being an "indie darling" has barely promised her guaranteed acknowledgement. her performance in Parizaad was phenomenal and what did she get in return for it? just a measly "best couple" nomination alongside Ahmed Ali Akbar. and this wasn't her first snub btw, she's been snubbed many times. with the body of work she has..she should have more awards to her name because that's what the indie darlings are supposed to have at least, right? but will anyone in their right mind deny Meerab a nomination if not a win? that's the whole game here.

[oblitus-vulpes]

.

Okay So. first and foremost I think this is worse than my standard reaction would be bc I've been thinking about how I'm managing my psychosis and What The Hell Is Wrong With Me And Medicine (as a branch) recently. like as in very recently i was turning it over in my brain right before I opened p5r. tbh i wish i had a more cohesive record of my thoughts but

idk i'm just kinda In A Place rn. like

wow boys will really just realise they relate to the guy they detest in some way and not have an immediate logical explanation for why i don't like this guy that's not directly founded in Bad Vibes:tm: straight from the trauma response you've been fighting the whole game to get to this point. lmao. and then boys will kinda zone out on the dialogue and think about it.

and now i'm just kinda like... do i keep playing and maybe that'll help me figure this out? like. from my current point in the game, what he's doing is Bad obv. i know it is and it's the thing that's irked me every time i see his dialogue.

i think it's the reliance on him. like Yeah it's not inherently bad to want people to be happy and to do what you can to help. But this oversteps and goes into territory of Helping Someone For Them. because you want them to be helped and not because they want you to help them. does this make sense. i see it as a matter of autonomy, because it's about choosing how you want to live your life (either this is the main theme of the entire fucking game or i'm terribly misinterpreting it). but i'm also autonomybrained 24/7 (biased to interpret it this way) and it's like. my highest priority in anything ever and literally all of my ideals link back to preservation of autonomy in some way. gin lore fact idfk.

and like the entire time i was running around his palace i was just. irritated? "don't you want to live a life without pain?" no !!!!! if i don't have the option to choose how to overcome pain/challenges/adversity/what have you then what's even the fucking point??? taking away options on how to live my life sucks fucking ass even if they hurt. get up coward and all that. (<taking this which more closely aligns to sem1/2 and turning it upside down on the basis of living life without getting to choose how you live it Sucks Ass and at some point just sitting there and letting life drag you along isn't. ideal. and sometimes you should make the choice to stand up for yourself and stop letting the tide carry you, whether it be a lazy river or fucking riptides.)

and then there's sumire. wow. gonna be real she's irritated me from the very start and i'm Not Sure Why. and like yeah since i put 2 and 2 together that sumire was living as kasumi because survivor's guilt. which was a while ago. the only thing to catch me off guard was sumire fully believing herself as kasumi. which brings me into. conflict if i should be doing what i'm doing. or if i'm doing it for the right reasons.

and like wow!!! girl who is delusional!!! me too girl!!! it's easier and less painful to simply live in a state that isn't reality and accept it as that!!! and i'm kinda left in a position of am i refusing professional medical treatment from a place of standing for myself or because i'm running away.

and it's terrible because it's both and i won't stop feeling Bad about this until i finally own up to it. is this a limitation or a limitation i put on myself. how will i know which is which. etc.

i as an outside party wouldn't push someone else to do something beyond what they want because they're the only one that can make them truly do something. me as myself. wow it really just comes down to do you want to be capable. of course i have limitations and it's my job to recognize them and stand up for them but it's also my job to push them to be as good as i can be. am i even making sense anymore.

anyways my point is that i can't justify taking down maruki as saving kasumi. maruki on his own? yeah i can 100%. but i can't justify it as saving kasumi. like every time i try i get an error page. proposition conflicts with Chapter 3 Section G Paragraph 7: Ultimately an individual knows best in regards to their own health and lifestyle and one must respect their decision regarding themself, with the exception of involvement of nonconsenting participants. like i know this is Bad and Wrong but if this is what she wants, i don't feel i have the right to intervene? and i think this is going to end in me having to rewrite chapter 3 section g paragraph 7 because This Feels Wrong. but i don't have the means to justify that yet and it's killing me. lmao

[spicyicymeloncat]

Can you do Nya for the doodle/ramble? :o

Nya!!

DISCLAIMER: sorry sorry sorry this is so dang late, I have been sitting on this essay for like 2 months and I feel really bad about it. I just had so many passionate thoughts about Nya until school and work and assignments meant I lost flow and I probably won’t finish it. Tbf I did write lots so Oop lol. I’m just gonna post it unfinished like this so take away what you will :)

Awww hell yeah! So in the last post of this series, I said that Cole is probably the best written character, but i think Nya is the most interesting, and Cole’s only higher because sometimes Nya falls into kinda sexist cliches sometimes. But for the most point Nya is such an inspiring character who goes through so much strife. Honestly I think that her writing is actually a really good commentary on modern day misogyny, which is unexpected since this is just a Lego show marketed to mainly boys, and even if it wasn’t, Nya’s arc hits so much harder than you’d expect. But either way, regardless of the societal analysis, Nya is generally a really strong character who gets a lot of development simply bc was more of a side character who basically fought her way into the plot.

So the main themes of Nya is her struggle with destiny, whether she has free will or choices or if she just has to do what other expect her to. Like so many of her arcs are her struggling against what other people have told her to be or what she tells her self she has to be.

First of all, her time as samurai x and how she initially kept it a secret. In s1, in like, the first episode, we see Nya training on the training course trying to beat Kai’s score, wishing she had a dragon, and generally trying to tag along with the guys despite not being included in their team. Maybe you could argue she always wanted to be a ninja, to prove that she could do that too. However it never really caught on (until much later), and she ended up abandoning that idea in favour of becoming something else; samurai x.

I’ve always thought it was weird that she kept samurai x a secret when there wasn’t really any consequence to it when everyone found out. I think that maybe she felt a little bitter about not being included with the ninja so she decided not to share in what she got up to. Also I bet she just kept it up because the guys’ annoyance at not knowing who she was, would’ve been actually hilarious. But also she may have kept it a secret because no one could tell her how to be if no one knew it was her. Samurai X was her way of having freedom and independency, and her way of proving that she was useful, most importantly, in her own way on her own. She wanted the power to make her own choice and in order to do so, she didn’t even risk letting other people in the know in case they took it from her.

Short mention of s2 but the scene where we see Nya get corrupted is actually so horrific and invasive but it completely fits Nya’s narrative of getting her choices taken away as she’s corrupted by the dark matter. Ooh, quick s2 rewrite concept but the dark matter doesn’t immediately make you evil, but it only builds upon already dark feelings present, and in Nya’s case its her struggle with being alone, presently the fact that she was captured and overall how she gets singled out for not being a ninja or how she has to work harder to be seen alongside everyone else. With both her and Kai, they both seem to equate their worth and right to be in the family with how much they can contribute, and Nya especially puts a lot of pressure on herself, to be just as good or even better than the other ninja.

Now s3. S3… is a mixed bag. Bc it’s notorious for having a god awful love triangle that arose out of nothing but then if you think hard about it, everything after the set up kinda makes sense. Jay and Nya have kinda a strained relationship, where if we view s1 and s2 skeptically, their feelings aren’t really justified further than “jay likes girls and Nya is girl” and “Nya happens to like the colour blue”. It feels very forced hetero 2011 writing because it kinda was, but at least s3 is consistent. If you’re generous and are invested in making the most of a Lego show’s writing, then you’ll be happy to know that all of that accidentally works really well. Because we can assume that jay and Nya were quite young and it’s very common for kids/teens to just get into relationships in only name, for the pure reasoning of “we are guy and girl who hang out sometimes” Nya and jay being in a loveless, one sided relationship where neither are on the same page is pretty realistic actually, and the show tells us that Nya isn’t as invested as jay is and how there seems to be a fundamental imbalance of affection between them. Whilst I hate that Nya changes her whole mind as soon as the computer tells her to, it kinda works in that its consistent with Nya’s incredibly surface level reasoning for attraction. Her mind set is basically: if she was told a guy liked her, then she’s supposed to like them back right? That’s just what you do! Compulsive romance is so real and it’s how I personally see Nya in s3. Also it links in either s3’s theme of relying too much on technology, with Nya being swayed because of it.

Now the actual love triangle links back in with Nya and choice. She’s forced to pick between Jay and Cole but even if she does pick one, she’ll let the other down, or they might not accept it. It looks like she has a choice but there are no good options. And when she feels like she’s fighting against the grain, just like when she gave up from being a ninja, she too retreats from the conflict, avoiding giving an answer that she knows wouldn’t be accepted. She just lets them duke it out until they’ve forgotten about her and any relationship she had or could’ve wanted. By not picking a side, both sides left her after s3 and she just accepts it.

…or maybe I’m looking into to it too much as a way of coping with awful love triangles.

Quick note about s4, bc Nya kinda just kicks ass that season and I honestly don’t have too much to say. She’s just very cool. I will say that’s it’s interesting that she stayed home with wu Lloyd etc when the rest of the team dispersed. You could say she again was left behind. She stayed rebuilding the bounty, which may have been in tribute to zane considering he found the bounty. You could say zane brought the family together and found them a home, so when he died, Nya tried to fix it by remaking their home. Im gonna make a separate post about this actually.

Okay s5 is where we really get going and tbh, this season should’ve been more officially Nya. Because she’s actually becoming a ninja. I think with Nya interpretations, people usually see Nya being a ninja as a bad thing, something that was again forced upon her, which is true. I’ll talk about this again when we get to crystalized. But idk if this is a hot take but I think ninja Nya is a good thing, if you interpret samurai x as being a last resort because she didn’t become a ninja. It’s her learning to not give up, to keep at it, which is how she unlocks her true potential. That she’s just as valuable, in fact, uniquely valuable on the team. Idk I think it’s nice if you look at samurai x being her giving up on trying to be a part of the ninja. Her arc of needing to be perfect at what she does, without allowing herself to be messy or vulnerable or confront what makes her weak because she always thought that if she was a ninja, she’d be the weak link, and confronting why she hadn’t become a ninja makes her vulnerable. And her facing that fear and realising she’s more than she gives herself credit for is so so so good. Nya actually has such a low self esteem and tbh you can’t blame her when it looks like she has to fight tooth and claw to be as good as everyone else, but I’d bet on her being the strongest ninja, in some ways stronger than the green ninja. It’s very fitting that she wears the green gi in s5’s finale, because when the ghosts realise she isn’t the green ninja, they’re actually more terrified. Because she is something more feared than the green ninja. The water ninja. One of the only elements that the fsm couldn’t control. She single handedly drowned the preeminent (and destroyed an 1/8 of the universe but shhh).

And then we get to s6, which is only really good because Nya. Because even when she figures out she’s super op, society hasn’t. We get the whole news stuff in the first episode where the ninja deal with their acquired fame (nice acknowledgment of the rest of the world tbh), and we’re highlighted of how, whilst Nya took down a literal eldritch monster in the last season, she’s still only known for the love triangle, and it feels a little meta because I bet that’s what a lot of fans knew her for too (and I say this because unfortunately 13 ye old me was that, but I’ve rewatched since). We see Nya having to face everyone else’s expectations of her and the media doesn’t see her as anything but the girl ninja and she’s just told to accept that. And even when she’s trying to go against the grain, the fact that she’s only doing it to prove or disprove someone else still means she’s technically still controlled by something else. This is how I interpret the (admittedly mess of) the romance plot. Nya has and does love Jay, but she’s scared of that being all there is to her, that doing what the media expects her to means giving in to it, and losing her sense of independence. She basically can’t do what she wants because she’s holding herself to standard in response to other standards placed on her. It’s like a form of toxic masculinity but for feminism, where women feel like they have to be tough and never vulnerable because they’re trying to fight against being defined by those traits of vulnerability. Nya and Dogshank in particular, have a very specific relationship, they’re on opposite sides but play exactly the same roles, women who fought against the grain and did what was not traditionally expected of them, but in they’re fight to do so they ended up sacrificing their own freedoms anyways (Nya stops herself from getting close to the others in her need to be independent, Dogshank traded her life to be Nadakhan’s pirate just so she could win at something once). And say what you will about s6 but Nya’s death scene will always be the saddest thing, because we truly see Nya just give up her life. She’s so resigned to her fate, finally giving up on changing it and tells Jay that she never wanted to be apart of their boys club anyways. The reference of the “boys’ club” comes up 3 other times in the show: when Nya reasons why she became samurai x - she felt excluded in the group, when Nya is corrupted with dark matter and the guys fight her - Kai quipping that the ��club” just became boys only and when the love matcher machine in s3 describes Nya as an independent self confident young woman who refuses to be part of a boy’s club. The evolution of the use of the quote, going from the reason Nya felt excluded, to Nya being defined by it and lastly as an acceptance of her own death, sums up what I mean, Nya internalising that “othering” and just growing to accept it. Nya then says that she guesses it’s true, the greatest love stories end in tragedy, which I think shows how she’s been told and sold so many expectations of how she wouldn’t end up happy, and it further shows how she’s given up. And the resolution of the plot isn’t perfect but I actually do like how Jay essentially bent time and space to show her that it doesn’t have to be true. Metaphorically, Jay erasing the timeline feels like he’s erasing the proposed bad end Nya’s predicted of herself. S6 is definitely flawed but I do like the theme of inevitability and the defiance of that with Nya in particular.

~~~

Yeah sorry friends that’s where I stopped. But I’ll paste my little planning stage so you guys know what I would’ve started writing about?? Anyways Nya good!!

Intro- hell yeahhh - good writing altjough ppl don’t think so

- boys club - choices

- Samurai x inventing her own identity but in retaliation

- Water ninja - child of destiny

- S6 choosing her own fate - crystalise

- S11 powers significant + seabound

- Crystalised

- Tidbits such a cool narrative but like s567 could’ve been even cooler

Conc honestly I get emotional bc she’s actually so cool man

[bestworstcase]

I like your thoughts on how Rapunzel was handling things wrong in “Rapunzel: Day One.” The episode tries to imply that Cassandra is wrong for not sharing her feelings with Rapunzel, but is a Rapunzel really the person Cassandra should be opening up to? Rapunzel never respects Cassandra’s boundaries. Cassandra’s a private person. Rapunzel doesn’t respect that. And just because Cassandra doesn’t want to open up to everyone doesn’t mean that she’s bottling things up.

ok so this is gonna be a long one bc tbh i like. fundamentally disagree that RDO, the narrative of RDO, in any way positions cassandra as the one at fault for the emotional conflict between her and raps.

to digress a bit - while tts is not immune to Aesop Episodes (e.g. rapunzel's enemy or you're kidding me) wherein the characters close out the story by talking about What They've Learned, ultimately i don't think tts can or should be read as a morality play. it's a story where sometimes characters just... fuck up and the narrative doesn't waste its time on hand-holding or spoon-feeding us the moral.

anyway, i submit that RDO is what i'll call a False Aesop Episode. it follows the basic structure of an Aesop Episode (protagonist acts badly -> protagonist learns a lesson) but the lesson rapunzel learns is a bad one. it's like if you took... say, "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" as an aesop, the False Aesop here is rapunzel confidently eating a rotten apple and then being blindsided a few months later when the doctor who kept begging her not to eat food with maggots in it steals the moonstone from under her nose and runs off into the night with her new demon pal--

and that metaphor got away from me a little bit but you get the idea.

#1: constructing the conflict

the episode opens with cassandra. she's training; we see the sword fly out of her injured hand; lance suggests she take a break, and she answers, "thanks to rapunzel's little trick at the great tree, i have to relearn everything using this hand, so breaks aren't really an option."

she isn't harsh about it. her demeanor isn't all that different from her normal self—she even segues into a very typical concern (that the woods are dangerous and they should all be on their guard) and banters with lance a bit.

what this communicates, immediately and succinctly, is that:

1. cassandra's injury is severe. it's disabling. she's either in immense pain or she's lost all the strength in that hand or both.

2. cass is really upset about this, and not happy with rapunzel.

3. nevertheless cass is keeping her feelings more or less in check; the worst anyone could say about her is she's being a bit more curt than normal.

which is to say, she's acting quite reasonable. she's not taking out her hurt feelings on anyone else or being mean or lashing out, and she's not hiding her injury either. the most concerning thing about her behavior here is actually that she's focused on training so she can do her job instead of on healing or resting or taking care of herself.

then there's a pan over to rapunzel, who is angrily watching this play out while venting to pascal. "i get why cass is mad at me," she says. "she told me—" huge disdainful rolling of eyes here "—not to use the decay spell back and the tree, and i did, and she hurt her hand. but if she had just listened to me and stayed out of it, this all could have been avoided! and i feel like we could work things out, but she refuses to talk about it!!"

line this up against cassandra's behavior and spot the differences.

cass is focused on her injured hand. cass is upset because rapunzel accidentally mutilated her in the great tree. that's what this conflict is about for cass; her injury, and how she feels about being injured.

by contrast, rapunzel thinks the conflict is about them not listening to each other. she does acknowledge that cass was injured, but 1. she puts the blame on cass, and 2. has shoved the fact of the injury to the periphery of the conflict. it's not important, it's just a natural consequence of the real conflict, which is cass being mad and petty and refusing to talk to her about how she's unfairly blaming rapunzel for something that wasn't rapunzel's fault.

[i will add here that this behavior from rapunzel is 100% not knowing how to handle guilt and externalizing it as anger, and this thread of rapunzel burying her guilt gets picked up again in rapunzeltopia; it isn't that rapunzel doesn't care that cass is hurt, so much as she's just not emotionally equipped to process these feelings in a healthy way so it mutates into...this.]

and where cass handles her feelings in a pretty reasonable way, rapunzel rants and raves and draws cass as a literal monster with fangs and claws—she's stewing in her out of control emotions and concludes that she just has to find a way to force cass talk to her, which she does shortly thereafter by ordering—not asking—cass to come with her to search for parts to fix the caravan.

#2: the breakdown of communication

i've said it before but it bears repeating: cassandra might not be perfect, but she's a good communicator. in s1 and the front half of s2, she shares her feelings with rapunzel readily and frequently. when she tries to set boundaries with rapunzel, she's able to be clear and specific about what she needs. when she expresses frustration with eugene or her dad or rapunzel, she's very articulate about exactly what she's frustrated about. she can recognize when politer, softer refusals are being ignored and become blunter and more specific to ensure the message is getting across.

the moments when cass struggles to communicate are noteworthy because they're not normal. they signal that she's in acute crisis. think of how her unhinged rant about adira in RATGT heralded a complete emotional breakdown. she clams up in RDO because it's the only thing she can do to protect herself. because rapunzel is an inexperienced nineteen year old who learned all her social "skills" from a manipulative, egotistical abuser and nowhere in the series does that show more than in RDO.

rapunzel knows cass doesn't want to talk about the great tree, so she isolates cass from the rest of the group with the intention of forcing her to talk about it anyway. she's passive aggressive at first: chattering about inanities and trying to bait cass into 'opening up,' and acting vexed and guilt-trippy when she finds out cass brought owl along. she broaches the subject by going "too bad there's not an open-up-to-your-best-friend-about-the-thing-you-guys-are-fighting-about wand, huh?"

then she leads with "i know you're mad at me, but i did the right thing. i didn't have a choice," which... what can cass even say to that? she acknowledged cassandra's anger in one breath and followed up with "but you're wrong tho" in the next. that statement makes cassandra's feelings about her debilitating injury into an argument about Who Was Right.

this is a game that cass tries very hard not to play. "look, if you feel that way, then it's fine. we're good," she says, which is a statement that is not true at all on its face but - what it means is that if rapunzel wants to turn this into a debate about Who Was Right, cass will concede because that's not an argument she's invested in. cass does not want to put her feelings on trial so rapunzel can pick them apart and decide whether she deserves to have them or not.

so she disengages. the sun sets. they camp. rapunzel pokes her again, this time with a more direct approach: "cass, i need to talk about what we both know is going on between us."

and that's when cass throws up a WALL. prior to RDO, when cass is pressed on her feelings, she either: 1. opens up and explains to the extent that she's able (e.g. under raps or RATGT), or 2. flatly shuts the conversation down (e.g. cassandra vs eugene). but in RDO?

"there's nothing to talk about."

"i never said i was upset."

"what makes you so sure that you know how i'm feeling?"

this is cass falling off the end of her rope. this is a cass who spent the last year and a half with rapunzel running roughshod over every boundary cass exhausted herself trying to set. this is cass maybe a few weeks out from rapunzel screaming at her in front of all their mutual friends and then telling her "i am going to make decisions you don't agree with and i need you to be okay with that" when cass tried to open up about her deepest insecurities. this is cass spiraling into despair because she's seen that her best friend cares more about assuaging her own guilt and exerting her authority as a princess than she does about cassandra's feelings.

this is the moment when the friendship dies.

#3: the memory wipe, cassandra's apology, and the false aesop

the details of the tangled-but-cass shenanigans are not super important for the purposes of this discussion. suffice it to say that cassandra lashes out in the heat of the moment, seriously harms rapunzel by mistake, and spends the rest of the episode trying to repair the damage, then apologizes to rapunzel for hurting her. this is, obviously, the correct thing to do when you hurt someone, even if it was an accident.

you see the parallel here, yeah?

rapunzel hurt cass with magic by accident, and then made cass's hurt feelings all about her, blamed cass for the injury, twisted the facts to justify her own indignation, picked a fight about Who Was Right and invalidated cassandra's feelings, and pushed and pushed and pushed until cass blew up and lashed out at her.

cassandra also hurt rapunzel with magic by accident, and then she set aside her own hurt feelings from the argument they were having before to focus one hundred percent of her energy on brewing a cure and keeping amnesiac rapunzel safe, readily admitted her fault, and offered an earnest apology for losing her temper as soon as she could reasonably do so.

if RDO were a true Aesop Episode, this would be the lesson, and rapunzel would of course learn from cassandra's good example and reciprocate by apologizing for the accident in the great tree and her abysmal behavior afterwards—and in a reflection of how cass shared how bottling up her anger allowed it to erupt in a catastrophic way, rapunzel would probably confess that her demanding, selfish behavior came from a place of feeling awful about what happened and terrified that it would ruin their friendship.

but RDO is a False Aesop Episode. rapunzel isn't emotionally equipped to handle the intensity of her guilt, and she lacks the social insight and empathy to draw comparisons between what she did to cass and what cass did to her, so she can't connect the two situations in her head to understand what she's doing wrong. the true aesop flies right over her head, and instead what she learns is this:

1. she was right about cass being upset

2. backing cass into a corner fixed the problem

3. friends really do "just know"

4. being pushy and forceful was the right thing to do.

because the thing is, when cass apologizes for the accidental memory wipe, she truthfully explains why she acted the way she did—she's furious and she didn't want to talk about it, so she held it in as long as she could and then exploded when the pressure became too much—and for rapunzel, i think the explanation and the actual apology get conflated. meaning, cass says "i'm sorry for what i did out of anger" and what rapunzel hears is "i'm sorry for being angry."

and because of that misunderstanding, from rapunzel's perspective her own indignation has been validated and her behavior justified, because she was right all along and cass shouldn't have been angry with her in the first place and now everything is fine--

but it's not fine.

we're not supposed to share rapunzel's perspective here, because she's flat out wrong. nothing is really better and nothing has really changed, except that rapunzel got the talk she wanted and stops putting this intense pressure on cass. so as we enter the house of yesterday's tomorrow, rapunzel is taking it for granted that things are fine with cass, and meanwhile cass is still injured, still angry, still as aloof as she can be without getting rapunzel breathing down her neck again... and then she meets zhan tiri, who gives her everything she needed and couldn't get from rapunzel.

like, to my mind, this is the entire point of RDO, that rapunzel makes this catastrophic mess of trying to patch things up after RATGT and comes out of that mess wrongly thinking she succeeded. the episode is presented through the lens of rapunzel's perspective, but the lines are very wide and i absolutely think the intention is for the audience to read between them and understand the reality that rapunzel has sort of blinded herself to.

[supercantaloupe]

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well  i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne? 

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person. 

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family. 

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible. 

[crimeronan]

Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??

it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so.  yes okay.

technical stuff

(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)

cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago

perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes 

rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again

and over and over and over some more

seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning

in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post

clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold

the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world.  follow your dreams

sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type

but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad

(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content.  in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)

also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony

enter julian blackthorn!

from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass.  which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective

(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype.  mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that.  yet another post)

julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere

so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right

immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags

except that he is A Mess

and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use

moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale.  both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc

i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts

so we’re flipping the narrative

instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAT IS FUN AS FUCK

then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)

julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work

his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him

which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change

i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck

probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis

characterization stuff

(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)

i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh

u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension

from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset

he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances

his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness??  rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon

his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family??  rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him

his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life??  rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society

the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry??  once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely

the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks??  all that repression baybey.  this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years.  every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection

julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal

as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility

he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god

the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far.  not this far”

and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc

(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)

it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme

i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough

and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc.  i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc.  but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me.  he’s so fucking good

[djemsostylist]

Farewell, my love

I thought I was done ranting about SCK, and I swear this is the last one. I've learned my dizi lesson, and I have so many good ones to look forward to watching. Lesson number one, don't watch a dizi where the only draw is the two leads.

Here's the thing. In the past couple of months, and having watched a few other dizis, I started to wonder if maybe Hande and Kerem had blinded me into liking a show that was never actually more than crap. But in my recent rewatch (I'm up to 12) it was good. It genuinely was. The chemistry was great, the slow burn was great, but for me, the biggest part of why SCK 1-12 was great is that the angst and the drawn out story made sense. Eda and Serkan not talking to each other and keeping their feelings close made sense when Serkan wasn't sure Eda didn't hate him and Eda wasn't sure he wouldn't always choose Selin. Their angst and noncommunication worked here, because this was a story about two people getting to know each other and falling in love. Here, we (and they) learn about their fears, their doubts, their insecurities, their uncertainties, and we learned who they were as people. In 13-21, we watched them grow as people. We watched as they loved each other through pain and as they set up boundaries and learned what would and would not be acceptable to them as a couple. They learned how to talk and share their feelings and be open with how they feel (granted it took fucking forever, but we got there. Finally).

And, and perhaps this is the MOST key--they were in character, they had arcs, and things didn't simply happen for plot. At least not in ways that sacrificed character.

From 22-39, we mostly dealt with plot. Plot which drove characters, but one thing, ONE THING that remained at the of it all was the Eda and Serkan could not be apart. Even when they aren't together, they are together. Their longest separation is immediately following the plane crash, in which Eda does everything humanly possible to keep pieces of Serkan as close to her as she can.

They are it for each other. The love story told in the first several episodes was clear--they are soul mates, they have invisible handcuffs, etc etc. They can't separate, they won't no matter how hard things get. And they both have lines. Eda believes strongly in telling the truth, trusting your partner, believing in them, and above all, family. She lost her parents--being able to be a mom with a family is something we know is important to her. Serkan is self-sacrificial, but he channels it into doing anything and everything he can to make Eda happy. He has learned how to be a partner, how to share his feelings and trust others, and like Eda, his own issues with his parents and the feeling of abandonment mean that he has a deep desire to want to build a strong family.

We have watched them go through literal hell and back. We have watched them fall in love and learn each other over, and over, and over. So to see them having finally survived all of that--crazy families, tumors, plane crashes, gas lighting fiancees, awful friends, terrible parents, and to have survived and come out the other side--and then, what, break up? Spend five years hating each other and Eda keeping his child from him...for what? What could possibly have caused them to be so broken that they left each other and Eda kept a child from him? What is worse than plane crashes, crazy grandmothers, amnesia, crazy ex-girlfriends--what? This isn't sensible angst that shows characters growing and changing and moving. This is angst for angst sake. This is drama for drama's sake. And it's not it for me.

The Eda I know would never, EVER keep Serkan's child from him. Ever. No matter what he said or did, the Eda I know, the one who confronts people head on, who fights for the people she loves and who doesn't let someone off the hook, the one who knows how hurt he was by his own father, who still mourns her own, would not do this. Even if, as some people think, Serkan tried to drive her away (and we'll address that in a minute), my Eda, episode 15 Eda, would shove her pregnancy test in his face and say "yeah? You don't love me, fine, but your child? How about that?" She wouldn't leave. Or would she? This is the Eda, after all, who ran away in 37 instead of standing with him and finding out the truth and making choices together. Did she leave bc he didn't tell her about the tumor? "Sorry you found out you're dying, but since you lied I'm gonna let you die alone. Oh, and keep your kid's existence from you, peace out."

As for Serkan, why would he let her go? Because he thought he was dying? I mean, I guess if she got mad enough about the secret to leave him, I could see him letting her go. It would reinforce what he has always though, that he isn't worthy of love--hers, his parents. It means that all the growth and reassurance and peace he got means nothing. And honestly, I don't think he's survive that. After all, what would he even have to live for, after it's reaffirmed that he isn't worth loving? And if he drives her away instead, then what was the entire point of 14-21? What? That entire 7 episodes of learning to love her, of learning to be the partner who listens and gives and trusts means nothing. Hell, 14-28 mean nothing. Because he is right back to where he started in 13. And if Eda, who knows he has a tumor, listens?

The point is, these aren't the people I love. These aren't my characters. This isn't the kind of beautiful angst that was built in 1-12. This is pure plot to sell things, and I hate everything about it. For me, there is no redemption here for Eda. She kept a child from him. It's not a thing you can say "oops sorry" for. She kept his child from him. Unless she was escaping a plot on her life bc Serkan is a secret mob boss and she had to go into hiding for her safety, there is not way I see this not making her not only a pretty horrible person, but also a hypocrite of the highest order.

As for Serkan, he's already been "the bad guy". He's made mistakes before (although I'd argue he gets a pass for actual brain damage), and I have no desire to see him, once again, thrust into the "Asshole Bolat" role. Not Robot Bolat, because our beloved RoBo would never have let Eda leave. Just Asshole. Which is what I assume, otherwise how do you justify another fucking breakup?

This show is starting it's 40th episode. 40th, and our couple has been together and happy for 4? Almost 5 episodes. It's too much. I'm done. At some point you start to wonder if they aren't just toxic and need to stay away from each other. Because if all they are is pride and miscommunication and refusing to talk and now a child is being hurt as a result--just no. This isn't the love story I signed up for.

So, it was a good run. I'm grateful to SCK for introducing me to Turkish tv (again), for helping me meet some truly amazing people, and for giving me a fandom again after far too long. But, like every other fandom I've been in, it's time for it to end. It's reached a point where I no longer find joy in a story that has gone so far beyond it's original tale as to be entirely unrecognizable. So I'm getting off this train. It's been real.

[reachfolk]

For the writing prompt, let's go with ruin.

request: alexandria silver-blood + "ruins" (elder scrolls writing prompts — OPEN)

summary: Alexandria's teaching methods may not be conventional nor are they always pleasant, but Lucien can't deny their effectiveness.

tags: fluff, lucien flavius, canon-typical violence, alex and lucien are still pretty new as companions so he's still Baby, lexi is an arguably good teacher, not proofread bc it turned out so long lol

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

ao3 link: [tough love]

author's notes: for those that don't know, lucien is a modded follower who starts as a wimpy little imperial scholar and you train him to get better at combat. this was SO much fun to write, i feel like it really shows some of my fav things about lexi and her dynamic with lucien! thank u so much for the request dearie <3

The door to the old nordic tomb was jammed after what must have been centuries without being opened, but with a heavy shove, Alexandria was able to force them to give. As soon as they swung open, the smell of decay and rot overwhelmed Lucien's senses, and he found himself struggling to hold down that morning's breakfast.

Alexandria, on the other hand, had no such qualms. Instead, she took a deep breath and smiled at the smell. "Ah, I love these old tombs. You can just feel Lady Namira's influence in the air. Makes the eyes water though, doesn't it? Or maybe that's just the dust." She fanned her face, letting her eyes dry out for a moment before readying her sword in one hand and a simple Firebolt spell in the other. "You ready?"

"Uhh," Lucien hesitated. "Do I have a choice?"

"Nope!" With that, she pushed him through the doors, and he nearly toppled over. "You'll be taking the lead this time, alright?"

"What?! Me?!" He sputtered. "Are you sure that's a good idea? No, don't answer that. It isn't a good idea whatsoever."

Alexandria didn't seem to share a single one of his concerns as she placed a hand on his back and pushed him deeper into the old ruins. "It's a chance to practice sneaking and to test out that Turn Undead spell. Two birds with one stone, as they say."

"I only learned that spell last night. Who's to say it'll even work? Don't you think the stakes are a little too high?"

"Of course they are," she said in her usual, all too cheery tone of voice. "You're not going to learn anything by staying firmly in your comfort zone. Besides, don't you trust me to keep you safe?"

It was certainly a good question. In spite of how she presented herself, Alexandria was a difficult person to read. While he often did appreciate her optimistic attitude (it was certainly an improvement over the glum nature of most of Skyrim's citizens), there were more than a few moments where it almost felt like she enjoyed tormenting him. This wouldn't be the first time she pushed him beyond his limits; ever since she started training him, she seemed to make a game of torturing him and justifying it with reasons such as, "You need to learn to take a hit," or "You've got to get out of your own head." And, well... he wanted to trust her methods, but she make it quite difficult.

"If you take any longer to answer, it's going to hurt my feelings, you know."

"N-no, I don't mean to imply anything bad!" Lucien sputtered. "I'm just nervous, is all. You've been a wonderful guard and I don't mean to offend you in any—"

His ramblings were interrupted by her bursting into laughter, and the sound echoed throughout the chamber. He felt a brief panic, but it seems the sound didn't reverberate far enough into the ruins to alarm any draugr. Alexi, it seems, didn't share his worries at all.

"Calm down, will you? I was joking!" She chuckled. "Believe me, no one understands anxiety better than I do. But that doesn't mean I'll allow you to let it control your life."

Lucien had a hard time believing she of all people, in all her confidence and self-assuredness, could relate, but her words were a comfort nonetheless. "Right," he replied, letting her words sink in. He took a deep breath to calm himself, then firmly regretted it as the stench of death filled his lungs.

Alexi chuckled again at him and patted his arm. "You'll get used to it."

"I really don't want to," he said, but readied his spells nonetheless.

*

The pair made their way through the old ruin, crouched low and sticking to the shadows, just as Alexandria taught him. The muffle spell she cast helped them stay quiet and made it easy to make out the sound of draugr footsteps farther into the depths of the tomb.

Lucien stopped in the middle of the hallway they were crouched in and leaned his head around the bend, leading into a larger chasm. Two draugr patrolled the area, moving in circles around the perimeter.

Alexi leaned back on her haunches and whispered, "So, what's the plan, boss?"

It was strange, the way their roles were swapped. "Uhm," Lucien thought back to what Alexandria did the last time they were in this kind of situation. "Wait until they wander to opposite sides of the room, out of each other's sight, and shoot them down one at a time."

"Okay," Alexandria said simply, but the minimal response was enough to send Lucien doubting himself.

"Is that not a good plan?" He asked, unsure.

"Huh? I never said that. I told you, you're the boss here! I'm just following your lead."

"Right," Lucien muttered. "Right. Uh, I just... need to be more sure of myself."

Alexi didn't respond beyond glancing around the corner, watching the draugr.

"Right?" Lucien asked.

This time, she simply chuckled. "Dearie, how are you not realizing the irony? You're still asking for my approval. It's a good plan. Now go ahead before you start getting in your head again."

Unfortunately, his doubts already took root and refused to budge. Even as he drew his bow and had it aimed at the target, he found himself frozen in place.

After the second opening he missed due to his own hesitation, Alexandria leaned over his shoulder and whispered, "Can I give you some advice?"

"Please do."

"Great!"

She grabbed him by the neck not unlike one would grab a housecat, dragged him up from where he was crouched, and tossed him into the open chamber with the two draugr. As he yelped in surprise, the two draugr turned at the sound and drew their weapons.

The rational response was for Lucien to be angry at her for being so cruel, but in the moment, it was all he could do to bash his bow against the draugr that rushed at him with a greatsword. The attack staggered the enemy and interrupted her mid-swing, giving Lucien enough time to switch out his longbow for a sword and spell.

Just as the zombie had regained balance, Lucien took a swing, putting all his might behind it. It wasn't enough to bring her down, but as the sword connected with her shoulder, the two-handed sword she carried fell from her grasp. He used the chance to shoot a Firebolt spell at her, which sent her flying backwards, unmoving.

Before he could celebrate his victory, an arrow whooshed past his face, just barely grazing his skin and taking a few of his hairs with it. It would've sent his heart racing if the poor muscle wasn't already working at full capacity.

He turned his head to the archer, who already had nocked another arrow and shot it in his direction. He just barely managed to dodge by side stepping behind a column. There was no way he could rush at the archer with his sword, and he was clearly outmatched with a bow. Should he just try to pelt it with Firebolts, or—

Suddenly, he remembered the new spell he'd just learned the night before. It was a risk trying it now of all times, but the adrenaline rushing in his veins made it difficult to rationalize it too much. He charged the spell, then ducked out from behind the other side of the column and cast it before the draugr could even release the arrow it had readied.

The second the spell hit, the draugr immediately pulled its arrow back and turned it's back, running in the opposite direction in the signature awkward steps that all draugr take. Now that the threat of being pelted with arrows was gone, Lucien rushed at the creature and grabbed it by the back of its thin, wiry hair. He stabbed his sword through its back with enough force that it jutted out of its chest. When the creature stopped moving, he released his grip on it and let its limp body fall to the ground.

It took him several seconds to catch his breath. When his heart rate finally returned to normal, a high-pitched squeal broke through the calmness and spiked it once again. Thankfully, he realized quickly enough, it was only Alexandria excitedly cheering for him.

"Good job, Lucien!" She applauded, rushing towards him from where she watched. "Oh, I knew you could handle it!"

"I... I did! Didn't I?" It was still hard to believe he could manage in a battle with her support, so to win two-against-one was inconceivable to him.

"Obviously," she laughed, giving him a playful shove. "See what you can do when you stop freaking out? When you don't have time to doubt yourself, your real skill shows."

He couldn't help but join her in the laughter as the reality of his accomplishment dawned on him. "Does this mean I'm now a proper adventurer? I never thought I had it in me!" He puffed out his chest proudly, beaming at his companion.

"I'm well aware of that. That's always been your biggest problem," she said. "Lucien, you've gotten so used to thinking of yourself as some weak little milk-drinker that no matter how much I trained you, you refused to recognize your own progress. I needed to do something to get it through your head."

"Not to imply that I'm not grateful, because I truly am," he replied, "but was throwing me to the draugr really the only thing you could think of?"

She gave a shrug. "It's how I was taught. Well, for me it was sabre cats. And fire. Oh, and also flowers, but that one's less exciting. And plenty of harsh lessons, really. How do you think I got these scars?" To prove her point, she lifted up both arms, showcasing a large array of scars, burns, and calluses that she'd acquired over the years. They moved down throughout her body, displayed for all to see under her Forsworn armor. The injuries had accumulated so much that it was hard to tell one from the other, let alone deduce what had caused them.

Lucien was curious about it since the day they'd met, but it felt rude to ask. But seeing as she brought up the matter herself, and she didn't seem to have any discomfort talking about it, he found himself asking, "What actually happened?"

"Oh, what didn't happen?" She chuckled. Pointing at the rough shape of a bite mark on her right arm, she explained, "I got this one when Auntie Ursula wanted me to get sabre cat teeth because I'd used up her entire supply when making potions. She wanted to teach me a lesson about recognizing alchemy as more than just mixing things together. Respecting the ingredients the land blesses us with, and honoring the Hunt as a crucial part of the life of an alchemist."

She then pointed to the burn marks along her palms and fingers. "I got these when Mother Helle was training me in Destruction magic. A lot of mages hesitate to progress their knowledge of the arcane arts, so she often pushed us to lean into the pain rather than fear it. Learning advanced fire-based spells results in plenty of injuries, but I couldn't have learned them if I didn't stop being scared of getting burned. After getting lit on fire a few times, it stops being so scary. And, more importantly, you learn to control it better."

"What about the flowers?" he asked.

She held up her fingers and wiggled them a bit. They were rough and calloused, and the state of them made him wonder how she could even comfortably hold a weapon. "These were the first scars I ever got. When I first started working as Auntie Bothela's assistant—I think it was shortly after my tenth winter, she made me dethorn every single flower that was in stock at the store until my hands bled. Then she made me use those same flowers to make a health potion to cure the cuts, and then I'd start over. I wasn't so good at it in the beginning, so my skin didn't end up healing very well. But once most of the skin was scarred, it stops hurting, and it helps when working with more advanced recipes."

"That sounds... quite harsh," Lucien observed. It was odd how she described such unpleasant experiences with a bright smile, as though they were treasured memories.

"All my teachers were Reachfolk, and usually followers of Lord Hircine," she explained. "It's part of his teachings—to suffer is to learn and all that. It's not exactly the nicest way to teach, but I always found it... kind, in its own way. They were with me through every step of the way. There was never a moment of my training that I felt alone or lost."

Then, her voice grew softer, a kind of uncertainty he hadn't seen in her before. "I hope I've been that kind of teacher to you. It may not always be easy, but I wouldn't put you in any situation that I don't trust you to handle, even if you may not always trust yourself as much. And, well... I know you're still making up your mind, but I do consider you a friend. I want the best for you."

The confession made Lucien's heart swell, and he wondered how on Nirn he ever doubted her intentions. And, after today, he couldn't doubt her results. "You have been," he said. "I'm glad to have you by my side, friend."

Her eyes lit up at his words, and the sight was reminiscent of that of an excited puppy. "Me too!" she said, her voice back to its cheery tone.

With that, Lucien drew his sword again and gestured to the path leading deeper into the ruins. "So, are you ready to press on?"

She gave a salute and followed his lead, drawing her own sword. "Sure thing, boss!"

[gingus-doon]

It's ask time! How about thoughts on the Yabusame siblings? ( by the way, I always love hearing your thoughts on this game! they honestly make my day. <3)

i'll talk about them separately first, then together! so i hope you don't mind if this gets a little long (＾ᴗ＾)

(update after writing this– it got quite long LOL so i'm gonna put it under a read more—)

—

first, alice– i think he's great!! himbo extraordinaire, how could ya not like him :'D i've probably ranted about this before (read: in the tags earlier today lol) but i just love how much of a softie he is. it's especially apparent by how hard he tries to come off as this intimidating lone wolf figure lol. it's funny, because with his muscle and prisoner uniform (as well as actually being a murderer lol) he succeeds on that and comes off as untrustworthy despite being just a softhearted fool 😔 he'll be all like "you fools!!! you can't make allies in a death game!" and all that edgelord junk, insult sara brashly and then feel VERY bad about it as soon as she started fake crying. it's so immediately un-intimidating and i love that lmao. and how COWARDLY he is, despite being a pretty big dude. i think he doesn't perceive himself as intimidating, as some of the moments in his ytts events suggest (i'm specifically referring to when he meets mishima and is like Yikes! and then at the end mishima's like "appearances can really be deceiving huh" and alice is like "?!!??" LIKE SJDHDJ I LOVE THAT DYNAMIC FOR THEM, poor them having that issue 😭😭)

i wouldn't consider him one of my favorites but i appreciate him very much <3

—

okay, now reko– REKO'S CHARACTER FALLS INTO ONE OF MY FAVOURITE TROPES!! angry punk woman is always good（⌒▽⌒）but i also love how caring she is, an even better trope than Chaotic Angery™ is Chaotic Angery with a soft spot!!! it's very good of her and mwah i just love her.

i also think it's interesting that this more caring aspect of herself came out after alice's incarceration and that it seems to have been largely hidden from him throughout their lives?? in the flashbacks when they were kids, she seems fairly nice, but alice describes her as cold when they were adults, and he loves her so much that i trust his opinion. i really wonder what's up with that !! i don't know if i'm forgetting something that implied the cause of this harshness towards him but i'd really like to know ;; (i may be forgetting or misremembering some things, the only part of the game i've played recently is chap 3 and never with reko sjdhd)

—

it's also kinda nice how reko seems to outgrow the conventional morality thing she has going on? because she pushes alice away entirely on the basis of his murder, and that murder was very likely justifiable given that it was of the Bastardest Bastard. perhaps if alice told her the circumstances under which it'd happen, she'd understand, but alice condemned himself as harshly as (if not more than) reko so he wouldn't try to reach out to her when she was already pulling away. regardless though, reko seems to hold the general opinion that you can't just like, kill people, even if they're bad! but then she goes apeshit on rio after he kills alice so i appreciate that lol. though i'm a little upset that there's no epic cg of reko trying to whoop his ass :' we were robbed…..

robbery aside tho, i love reko!! she is one of my favourites and i'm sad that she's logical route bc that probably means she's not going to be part of the good ending (assuming there is one and that it's emotional lol)

ok so now i'm gonna talk about both of them together so this is gonna be sad. IT'S SUCH A TRAGEDY THAT THERE WAS NO OPPORTUNITY FOR THEM TO JUST BE SIBLINGS AND GOOF AROUND?? THAT MAKES ME SO SAD, I WANT THOSE INTERACTIONS THE MOST !! 😭😭 i don't know if we're gonna get them in ytts either since there is still that unresolved tension but i hope we get a taste of it! they're just both so dumb and i wanna see em be happy and just have a good time together 😭 also, reko seemed more like the leader of their duo when they were younger and i think that's a nice dynamic! it sounds endearing. reko seems like the one to say "come on bro!! let's go ___!!!!" and alice seems like he'd just listen to her, and then they'd get up to some shenanigans lol. like i could see reko getting them into a barfight HSHHDJSBSJHD. but i could also see her taking him to an abandoned building and just having a heart to heart after exploring like little kids :'D

oof, and, one of the things that hurt me most in the game was the bongos saga? i genuinely thought getting the bongos was gonna have them make up!! but then after the room of lies thing with reko happened, it dawned upon me that the real reko would not be there to receive them– not just the real reko, but a reko who had gotten a little closer to working out her feelings about alice's murder and was kinder than the one alice recalled. IT FUCKING BROKE MY HEART TO SEE HIM REJECTED LIKE THAT… i was just like "i'm not even an alice stan but i'm abt to cry right now." AND THE SHITTY TIMING OF REKO'S ABDUCTION….!! LIKE GRRR NANKIDAI WHY'D YOU DO THAT 😭😭 IT'S GENIUS BUT I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY !

a lot of my feelings on characters and relationships in this game boil down to "i just want them to be happy!!! let them be happy!!" so the way only one or the other can survive makes me sad ;; though, i am interested in seeing how (and if, maybe) saving alice turns out to be the better choice, since it is the emotional one. it probably has more to do with the dolls' relationship to humans than alice himself but still lol. and they did get at least a little reconciliation in the end, so that's nice and good.

sorry this got so long!! thank u for the ask and for ur kind words anon (＾∇＾)

[rocketfool]

fawks - 62, 64, 52, 40, 15 | kass - 8, 16, 36, 42, 66 "rainy that's ten questions" "yes :)"

putting these behind a read more to spare people who are not interested in all of this because whoops it got long! 

FAWKS

62. Who does your character think is the most put together in the party?

THIS DEPENDS ON THE PARTY. of the main party, it’s definitely pierce. like sure he has some anxiety but he has not put goo in his mouth unprompted. so that pulls him ahead of fyn, who would be the second choice. of the surface party...probably valytra! like sure she collects souls in her necklace but she seems Polite and like she was a Pleasure to Have in Class, plus you have to have your shit together to be a spy (theoretically). kidar is...put together in that she’s extremely confident in who she is and assured of her own place in the world, but not the typical standard for “put together,” and fyn has put goo in her mouth, so. valytra wins. 

64. What is one thing they want each party member to know?

I’m going to do main party, and out of character! 

pierce: you’re so much braver and more heroic than you give yourself credit for. you deserve your place here just as much as anyone, and have personally inspired me to be a better person. but stop side eying me about scully I am WORKING on having a realization about this!! I’ll get there maybe!

jolene: we both put up such aggressive fronts to hide our vulnerabilities, but I’m discovering it is actually helpful to let people in and care for them, even if it makes you feel exposed. I hope you’re also coming to that realization and maybe one day (IN THE VERY DISTANT FUTURE) we’ll be more honest in our own friendship but for now lmao what is going on with blacksmith girl huh. I would like an update.

fyn: you’re the most optimistic and good-hearted person I know, and I hope you can see what an effect you have on the party. I’m very glad I’ve had you at my side for pursuing the black dragon wyrmspeaker, because I don’t know how I would’ve done it alone. also please stop putting goo in your mouth, we have enough money for quiche and lavender lemonade PLEASE. 

52. If your character was under quarantine, what type of quarantine person would they be? (Productive? Hobbyist? Lazy?)

oh my god fawks in quarantine is off the rails immediately, she cannot be left unsupervised. I think she starts her own youtube channel that people LEGITIMATELY think is supposed to be like a ~found footage narrative fiction channel or other creative project but...it’s never been stated to be and she just keeps appearing in videos to talk very urgently about cryptids and show everyone how she’s converted her kitchen to include a PROPER, homemade fumigation hood. so it’s very unclear. on that note, the vlog probably comes to an end bc she either 1) blows up her kitchen with her own experiments because it is NOT a lab, or 2) breaks into someplace she shouldn’t be and isn’t caught but then uploads the footage to ye olde youtube and it’s like...okay so this is you running around fantasy area 51 right? knock it off. 

40. Describe a corruption/redemption arc version of your character.

OKAY corruption arc fawks...like we all know fawks is very, very motivated by ~discovery and has a black and white way of thinking, she’s always poised on a precipice of discovering one powerful magic artifact that makes her risk it all LOL. she’s doing some character development in that area but I think there some very clear seeds of a corruption arc there--her connection to people (such as the party) is what keeps her on the...generally okay if not exactly the Right Path, so I think something awful befalling the party/people she loves where they are all killed would push her firmly into the dark side. I can see her getting lost in pursuing a way to “undo” whatever happened with time travel magic (wow like a certain tower we encountered) instead of reconciling it, and being willing to do whatever it takes to get her way. would prioritize herself and her mission above everything and everyone else, even if it threatens to rip the universe apart or results in killing people because she knows once she discovers this magic it will set things right, not just for her but its uses for the world at large...yeah it’d be bad. :/

REDEMPTION ARC is kind of what she’s on now. she’s discovering she has worth outside of what she produces for science/magic/etc! she’s figuring out she can open up to people and ask for help sometimes! she’s putting things right for her family! things are slowly coming up fawks...maybe.

15. Describe their ideal date. 

OH BOY. fawks is not really uh...into traditional expressions of romance. like she’ll make an effort for the right person but her preference is never going to be a fancy dinner and candlelight. honestly I think the ideal date would start off in the late evening (AFTER A LONG DAY OF SCIENCE), going to a museum of curiosities or for cryptids/the arcane, where she’s allowed to really go in deep with her date on the history of various items/the theories behind everything and listen eagerly to what her date has to say too (in any world where fawks is dating, that person has to have Opinions on this type of thing). they’d stay until close and then head to a food truck to grab something to go while fawks leads the date to a rooftop of an abandoned building she likely discovered cryptid hunting but realized has an amazing view. they’d sit out under the stars and eat together, chatting inevitably about how fawks found the building, maybe do some exploring of it together. and then they head to a 24 hour diner for milkshakes as dessert! 

KASS

8. What is something they cannot resist?

OOOH this is fun because there are a lot of ways to interpret the question. I think kass can never resist a bustling marketplace in whatever city he ends up in--he loves travel and finding out about the local culture, is always curious to see what’s for sale and what the gossip is about town from the merchants he meets there. he spent a lot of time in marketplaces growing up so they’re nostalgic for him--he also loves purchasing trinkets from them anytime he lands somewhere new, particularly if those trinkets are fancy scarves/boots/etc. foodwise, he’s a sucker for baklava and good red wine--he enjoys wine shops/bars over taverns because he’s bougie lmao. oh and if dancing is happening and he’s not the one playing the music, kass is involving himself as is his right as a bard. he can’t resist a good opportunity dance when he has the chance!

16. What keeps them going?

OH BOY a good question. I think kass is a realist in a lot of ways, but has held onto some amount of idealism. he keeps moving forward with the idea that he’s in a losing situation right now, but he’s patient enough to watch and see what way the winds will blow. he justifies his work with the understanding that he has a certain moral code for his behavior when he can make choices, versus when his hands are tied by the zhents. always is keeping one eye out for an opportunity to slip out of those binds completely. 

36. What makes them blush?

HMMMM I don’t think kass gets too worked up over flirting--sometimes it’s literally just part of his job, and in general he’s just confident in himself. and listen he’s been in plenty of seedy taverns and courts rifled with intrigue, so not a lot makes kass bat an eyelash at this point. the things that would make him blush would probably be genuine romantic gestures? he doesn’t have a lot of experience with them so someone doing something very sweet and thoughtful for him would catch him completely off guard. like even getting flowers from the right person, kass is just not used to that type of attention! 

42. Is there something your character isn’t very good at, but enjoys doing nonetheless?

kass would LOVE crossword puzzles I think. he’s been doing them since he was a kid and could filch a newspaper every once in a while, but he’s not super good at them. just enjoys having something to sit back and focus on while drinking his coffee in the mornings. I also don’t think he’s very good at cooking, but he enjoys trying out new recipes!

66. Outward Passion or Quiet Rebellion?

this is hard because I think kass feels pulled between the two very frequently. I think he’d much prefer outward passion, throwing himself heart first into a cause, but he definitely is more likely to commit quiet rebellion and does so frequently. like what the zhents don’t know won’t hurt...him. again, where he has the ability to, kass follows his own heart so he’s willing to work quietly to do some good. but he’d much prefer to be bolder, in the grand scheme of things. 

[dustinchris]

dude im starting to foam at the mouth at tmr. whats ur characterisation of the mains i need to hear the tea

when i first read this i was like MY characterization? but eye didn’t do anything.. and then realized james dashner and whoever wrote the screenplays didn’t really do anything either so.

i feel like (much like Avatar, 2009, Oh, Wouldn’t You Know) tmr focuses more on building a world than building its characters, now i don’t really mind this as i happen to be a fan of Places and Things, but i AM annoyed bc memorable characters = relevancy and thats a setback for what i’m trying to do here

i’m literally not even saying the characters are bad i like them but they needed rebranding. if thomas had some sort of unique physical distinction synonymous with who he is and his backstory, destiny, and legacy maybe we’d have a maze runner theme park at universal studios rn you know.

ok ok but the funny thing abt tmr is it’s basically a teenage boy hivemind..... the only thing they CAN think about most of the time is how to not die, they don’t seem to individually represent anything, and they all have their fucking minds wiped so there’s nothing about their past to shape them or motivate them or anything like that.. in this post apocalyptic hellscape the core goals of the heroes AND the villains are just going to be about survival and while that’s not uninteresting, none of that makes it easy to create distinctive characters. ahdjdkkd sorry i’ll stop myself and talk more about that later and now i will actually try to chat abt the tmr characters !!

okay so i mentioned none of them having backstory which is a lie because THOMAS, hello, actually has a backstory, and it is completely wasted on him which is so funny to me. like he’s a very in-the-now person who willfully ignores the fact that he has a past and honestly that doesn’t matter bc it barely affects his current reality at all besides people from WCKD already knowing who he is. like i strongly think if thomas was just some random he would still do everything the same and everyone would still be trying to kill him. thomas (alright besides his magic blood i’ll give you that) is not actually special but it’s like HE is the only one who knows that. everyone’s like why is thomas so special why is thomas different, but i think (again, besides the blood) he’s genuinely not, he’s literally just stupid. it’s implied maybe he used to be really smart but that obviously didn’t work out for him because now he’s just a newborn calf who’s dumb and brave and impulsive and it WORKS !!!! he’s naturally very curious, which is why he’s a good protagonist for exploring our fun settings and (more importantly) another reason why it’s SO funny he does not care to know about his old life . and thomas is a circumstantial leader. i think most YA protags in things like this don’t want to be the leader but are good at it once they try and usually NEED to be the leader for whatever reason. thomas leads when it makes sense for him to lead, like when they need to take immediate action or someone needs to yell “RUN!!!!” otherwise the leadership role goes to someone who is capable like alby or minho or newt or if they’re lucky enough to find literally any grown up who isn’t evil it’ll go to them. i think it’s nice that thomas pushes when something’s important to him but otherwise is fine with whatever he’s given. if one were to use cats 2019 terms i would say most of the time thomas is victoria if she was the jellicle choice but he’s jennyanydots when he’s alone (he sits and sits and sits and sits)

i think it’s significant TERESA was the only one who got her memories back and in the movies she doesn’t really become a person until she finds her purpose from those memories and her former self’s morals. thomas was like “yeah there’s no way i’m fucking with WCKD again because they suck. they put me and my friends in a killer maze. i ain’t reading all those memories. i’m happy for me tho. or sorry that happened.” but teresa needed to know and needed to justify her choices. if thomas doesn’t think he’s different, teresa definitely thinks she is! and she is unique, once she gets her memories she’s SMART AGAIN she’s a teen scientist wunderkind which i will never stop thinking about like how does she really feel about thomas who she KNOWS has lost all intelligence on PURPOSE and is on the right side of history because of it. what teresa did wasn’t even that bad i guess she had noble intentions but she betrayed the boys and that is not on. teresa is what always sunny would call “the useless chick” for most of the time in this fun little series but her shining moment is when she entered the maze and was like IMMA START THROWING ROCKS AT ANYONE WHO IS NOT DYLAN O’BRIEN (a very accurate and impressive representation of a teenage girl). and can i mention the dynamic between thomas and teresa would be a lot more interesting if they were twins. it’s the drama of the last of your family making a decision completely opposite your own instead of some random coworker you have no real chemistry with

BRENDA is just like Cool Action Girl i have no thoughts on her but i don’t dislike her. i don’t think we like ever see her interact with the whole maze group but they’d all be scared of her because she’s not fucking around and i think she would be mean if needed. she’ll fit in

this is the part of the tumblr post where i get to the best characters but have nothing to say about them 😔

MINHO is too cool for this series. i’m confident every single one of these teens is in love with him and he knows none of them are good enough. in cats terms he’s munkustrap because without him everything would be a mess but he’s got the range for the rum tum tugger. minho is the one who says “guys why don’t we just say fuck like normal people” after a week of everyone saying stuff like “shuckface” to which gally or any other rule abiding freak is like okay that’s IT time out. get on top of the fridge. and he screams THIS MAZE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

newt :-) NEWT is mr mistoffelees in cats 1998 (NOT 2019) because he’s gay, he has the panache of a cat twirling around in a light up jacket shooting lightning out of his paws, and he’s saying things like “the rum tum tugger is a terrible whore” to RTT’s face and getting away with it. i love when he asks thomas if he still likes teresa and gets in his face about it and screams like what was that even about that was homosexual activity. i really love newt.... like can i talk about his fashion choices again the scarf and fingerless gloves in scorch trials even tho it’s a thousand degrees he looks good. and the shearling jacket in the death cure literally STYLIN... it’s very important that newt is the only british person in this whole thing i think. what’s up with that. i love it. he’s the most likely to think “wow this glade thing is kinda like love island” but the least likely to say those words out loud

[sometimesrosy]

See I’m torn bc I liked Pike in the end but he killed Lincoln. I LOVED Lincoln. So I do think his death was justified and it was okay that O did it. But the fact that the show/pike is telling us and O that that is wrong, I feel bad and weird

Well, I mean, he should have been punished for his crimes, among them killing Lincoln. But what Octavia did was revenge. 

This is why we have laws and prisoners are supposed to go through a fair and just legal system and a jury of their own peers and such. 

It’s not supposed to be “you did me wrong so I get to kill you.”

Killing Pike did not bring Lincoln back. It did not make Octavia feel better, feel less pain, or bring her back from the edge. In fact, it pushed her deeper into her breakdown.

There is actually no way that killing Pike was the right thing to do. I suppose that was the grounder way, but I’ve always thought the grounder “blood for blood” was pretty damn barbaric. And it was posed that way on the show. 

I mean, shouldn’t you THINK that murder is bad? 

And it wasn’t actually Pike that told Octavia that killing him was wrong. That was Octavia’s mind. It was OCTAVIA telling herself it was wrong. It was her being faced with what had made her a monster.

Pike could have had a redemption arc, too. Octavia took away his chance to make up for what he’d done, meanwhile, Octavia herself killed more people than Pike, her OWN people, and did far more to destroy their opportunities, but she got chance after chance to redeem herself. 

I mean does Lincoln’s death count more than all the people Octavia killed because you liked him more? 

I try to have the same rules for the characters I like as the characters I don’t. It’s easier because these aren’t real people. But if I can forgive Clarke for what she’s done, and Bellamy for what he’s done, then I look to see if I can see whether I can forgive Pike for what he’s done and Octavia for what she’s done. Pike never got a chance to redeem himself, although he seemed like he was starting to, and Octavia is on her way back. What makes Pike so much worse than Octavia that he doesn’t deserve the same consideration? HE actually accepted that he’d been wrong and immediately started working with Indra. He let go of his brutal past to try to start a better future. Pike was FAR more reasonable than Octavia, even if they had similar ruthless tendencies when reacting from trauma. 

But it’s your choice.