#imma posting this just for the laundry bitch

[truffle-draws-turtles]

Look. A thingy I made out of another thingy.

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Attention please.

The turtles you find on my site are all aged up, unless they are turtle tots (obviously)

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Masterpost

Patreon 18+

Deviantart

Instagram

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@thelaundrybitch

[galaxiic]

Non-Luca Vent Post

So I had an early ass shift. And groomed two more dogs than I usually do.

 I come home, and my mom is immediately on my ass about feeding the dogs. Before I even set my shit down. So that’s cute. :) 

I feed the little gremlins before going into my room so I can work on one of my one-shot prompts. (It will definitely be uploaded tonight, I promise.) But y’know, I was up early, I was tired. So I was like “Hey, Imma lay down for a half hour and take a bit of a nap before I finish this one-shot.” Which should be fine, right? 

AHAHAHA, NOT IN THIS FUCKING CIRCUS. 

I’m asleep for maybe fifteen minutes when my mom barges in and is all like “you can’t just work and sleep, you need to put this laundry away, I need my towels back”. Keep in mind, I’m in the middle of MOVING, so the clean clothes in my hamper are ones I regularly use so I can pack up the rest of them. So I tell her, already frustrated because

1.) she invaded my privacy  and 2.) She’s implying that I’m lazy when I work 48 hours a week at a super physical job, and I don’t even have a social life anymore because I’m too damn tired and whenever I try to go anywhere, she gives me shit for it when I try.

But whatever, she’s just being a bitch for what reason? Gods know why. And as if that’s bad enough, she starts throwing my laundry on top of me as if I’m about to get up right this damn minute to do it. Which I’m not because I’m USING those up until I leave.

 And then, and here’s the best part- she lets my dogs out of my room. In our house we have four dogs; two cranky old ass Basset Hounds with one of them having a history of picking fights with my dog, my bestest angel boy Labrador Retriever, and my Saint Bernard who is the one who gets in fights with the one Basset and who is also currently in heat. 

The house is literally GATED off to keep them separate so we can make sure they stay separated until I move while feeding, letting them out, etc-

So yeah, the one Basset got in a fight with my 8 month old, hormonal ass Saint. Her ear is bleeding. My dog has a hole in her lip. And of course

it’s all my fault. Like BITCH YOU ARE THE ONE WHO RELEASED MY DOGS BECAUSE YOU JUST HADDDD TO MAKE SURE MY LAUNDRY WAS PUT AWAY. GIRL BYE.

I AM LITERALLY SO SICK OF THIS FUCKING HOUSE AND MY CRAB ASS MOM. 

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Ok idk if you want to hear abt peoples like predictions/speculations when it comes to the cliffhanger in the 3zun au, so feel free to ignore this

BUT! OK SO FIRST OF ALL HOLY SHIT OUCH!

secondly: i just. i can see huaisangs thought process being like: ok. fuck it. imma tell him. and imma tell him when he is exhausted and already emotionally upset. because i want it to hurt. i want him to get angry. he didn't process this shit and on a good day he would just try to quietly accept it bc he is a Lan. i want him to break shit and feel his feelings for once. GET ANGRY ER-GE IT HELPS I PROMISE!!

like, that like balls to the wall dealing with the bad shit approach seems so very nie-like to me. "It's gonna hurt like a bitch in the moment but we are here to process and start healing! and you have a working support system now, you can handle this! also, I'm on a time crunch" is probably a regular thought among Nie clan members throughout time.

In conclusion: I loved the update, Wangji best boy, Soft Xiyao was adorable and so was The Hug (tm), and your Huaisang feels very very like Human to me ? I think in his place I would do (and have done) the same things and i look forward to what happens next a lot!

Thank you so much for posting this story, I am always thirsty for 3zun happiness!

!!! Of course I wanna hear y’all’s thoughts I thrive off of this, I’m not gonna ignore it!

Thank you!!

1. YOU’RE WELCOME THIS IS WHAT Y’ALL SIGNED UP FOR WITH ME, WHETHER YOU KNEW IT OR NOT 😂

2. When I wrote Extra #2 with WWX and NHS I had noooo intention of like. Giving NHS an angry rant? It just came out and I was like ohhhh yes of course, he never got a chance to be vocally angry! I like to think that he needs to take his own advice and find a way to get his closure and leave it all properly in the past (I don’t think he’s done it as well as he claims to have, because how could he? Poor thing didn’t get any support, he immediately had to hide it again once he woke up in this timeline to keep anyone from guessing who he was). And I think he’s doing a very human thing and lashing out at his own convenient target, which is LXC, who we’ve already seen has an incredible capacity for forgiveness which NHS is well aware of.

He wants the freedom to get angry, and he sees everyone else being so careful with LXC in a way that no one ever really was for him and I think he just says fuck it, it’s time to finish airing out this dirty laundry once and for all. Much like bringing everything to JGY’s feet at once to tear him down, when he finishes a job he goes HARD, and as far as he’s concerned this is him finally getting a chance to clear the air with LXC. So - run in like a bull in a china shop, smash things to bits, hope for the best. Tried and true Nie method of dealing with conflict lol.

Thank you so much for reading it!! There’s a solid like 10 or so of y’all that I know read this consistently and eagerly and you’re the ones I’m posting this all for. ☺️

[cnchoe-imagines]

hey boo maybe one where it's the boys turn ons and offs? idk skdjksdj

hehehehehe thank u boo ;) 

GENDER-NEUTRAL SMUT BELOW

chris ↴

lip biting !! when yall are making out and u pull his lip between your teeth he’ll be falling apart with a groan

hair pulling !! this boi didn’t grow out his hair for nothing !! if u give that shit a good tug he’ll be growling in your ear (also,, if you’ve got a sensitive scalp pls let him pull yours he’ll bust a nut in .3 seconds)

sexy pics/videos !! he’ll love sexting you or having video/phone sex while he’s on tour, and when he gets back, will definitely be down for filming some of your bedroom time together (as long as you’re comfortable ofc !!! and he’ll be EXTREMELY protective of the footage)

turn off time!!

i honestly think he isn’t that much into a power play that extends outside of the bedroom. he’s totally down to being your dom/sub at home, but not exactly turning it into your entire lifestyle

we also know he’s a bit of a scaredy cat so anything with too much of a risk makes him feel uncomfy (knife play, wax play, blood play, etc.)

richard ↴

k look,, your girl was gonna leave this one out but why be a liar when i can just preach the truth ?? this boi has a breeding kink ok?? he doesn’t care if you can’t get pregnant, he just wanna fill u up dsajfkadsjkfads imma kms

SPANKING !!! JDFSKFJAD SPANKING !!! LET HIM SLAP YOUR ASS PLS U WON’T REGRET IT JSDKFDS ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HAS ON THOSE LEATHER GLOVES HE ALWAYS WEARS OHMYGOD–

lots and lots of public !! teasing !! rich is the type to be grinding against you at the club or teasing u with his fingers at a restaurant while he just smirks at u trying to be quiet

with all that said, he’s a very hands-on person (lmfao) so he won’t like things where he can’t feel you completely

he wants to feel you digging your nails into his back or sucking hickeys on his neck or wrapping your legs around his waist so restraint isn’t his fave

zabdiel ↴

o r g a s m  d e n i a l !!!!!!! i’m just saying it yall !! he’s gonna get u worked up so many times and then pull away like :) “why are you looking at me like that? did you need something?”

HOWEVER !!! overstimulation ?? he stans. once he’s got u on the verge of cumming for the 10th time that night he’ll finally let u,, and then make u again,, and again,, and maybe even a fourth time idk just get your ass ready fdsjkadsj

now, unlike rich,, zabdaddy gonna have you tied to every post of the bed ok? legs spread and restrained, arms handcuffed behind your back, watching you shake for his touch while he trails his fingers down every inch of your body 

turn offs ?? hmmm

i think he’d be down to have a couple toys in the bedroom, but not a lot. he wants u cumming on his fingers, tongue, thigh, dick, etc. bc of that he doesn’t rlly like mutual masturbation either bc he just wants to ! TOUCH ! YOU !

joel ↴

hehehehe here we goooooo !!! first off, dry humping ??? feeling his jeans against his hard dick while you rub against him ???? he will cum in his underwear i promise u djsafkjds

LAP DANCES ??? OHMYGOD JUST PLAY SOME SEXY MUSIC AND STRIP FOR THIS BITCH AND HE’LL LOSE HIS SHIT I PROMISE U !!!

omg having u ride his face?? his fucking heaven istg… it doesn’t matter if he’s eating u out, sucking your dick or whatever else u want,,, he !! just !! wants !! u !! hovering !! over !! his !! face !! while !! he !! does !! it !!

*whispers* lingerie tooo pls put that lacey shit on and let him take pics of u in it u won’t regret it

turn offs,,, hmmmmm…. 

besides when he cums in his pants while u grind on him or whatever,, he does not like messy stuff,,, any kind of food play or thing that requires a lot of cleanup is not his fave bc he just wants to cuddle u after sex and not deal with laundry or some shit like that LOL

erick ↴ 

now i thought long and hard about this boi (no pun intended) and damn did i get some good ideas ;)

firstly,,, moan kink !!! just make A N Y sound in this bois ear and he will fall apart and be groaning like u have never heard before

PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE !!! both ways omg… he’ll spend HOURS kissing your entire body while he talks about how amazing it is and how lucky he is to have u – and if u do the same to him,, you will be rewarded with many kisses and whimpers

ok also making out?? like kisses in general are his SHIT but if you slip some tongue in there,, there’s no going back,, he’ll have u pinned to the couch while he tongue fucks your mouth until your lips are bright red and covered in spit

turn offs?? anything to do w/ like cuckolding or smthing like that. despite how confident he is,, i think he’d get super insecure if you tried to flirt or more with another guy in front of him – you’d end up with a rlly hurt erick instead of the jealous sex u might desire lololol

send in your cnco thirst asks 👅 

[dimples-of-discontent]

My Cockles Crack Masterpost:

Hello, yes, did any of you need a little pick-me-up? I know I do. So I’ve collected for you all most of the Cockles crack that I’ve written. I left off collaborative pieces of crack and ones attached to long gifsets. But all the text posts (especially “Jensen vs. Jensen’s brain”) are all there. I’ll drop a cut somewhere since this baby is long but I hope you all enjoy. 

LONG LIVE TEAM DUMPSTER MANSION!!! 

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

SPN writers: Cool. Why don’t we ask Misha to do one of his accents?

Jensen: *flings door open* *pants* AM I TOO LATE?! DID I MISS IT?!

BONUS alternative by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak���:

Dabb: So, let’s have AU Cas.

Everyone: …

Jensen: *starts vibrating at a very high frequency*

Misha: …okay I’ll do an accent

Isn’t it so weird that none of Jensen’s kids look like Misha?

Jensen is CONSTANTLY hosting his own episodes of Queer Eye and every one is about Misha.

[Below the cut]

Jensen: *looks up suddenly and stares into the middle distance* *vibrates at a high frequency*

Danneel: What is it, babe?

Jensen: Somewhere…Misha is doing an accent. Badly. He’s doing it badly, but he’s still doing it.

Danneel: You’ve gotta go!

Jensen: You’re right, I’ve gotta go!

Somewhere in Austin a high-pitched whistle blows.

Jensen, holding his ears and running into the kitchen: Alright, alright! What?!

Danneel, points wordlessly at laptop screen where this is displayed.

Jensen: Oh no.

Danneel, accusatory: I thought you HID those!

Jensen: I did! *pause* Why would he look in my dirty laundry anyway?

*Danneel stares*

Jensen: Oh right. I guess he needed something to wear.

Danneel: Pretty dumb, babe.

Jensen: Hmmm…yeah. *pause, then, hopeful* I guess we couldn’t fly to Hawaii to get them, right? *pause* No, no of course not. *mumbles* Damn shorts.

Text convo, probably:

Jensen: mish miss you. send me a pic.

Misha: *photo of something random like an interesting leaf*

Jensen: no, i mean like i MISS you miss you. send a pic of you.

Misha: *photo of his foot*

Jensen: oh for fuck’s sake! *posts flex meme and tags misha in it*

Jensen: there now it’s public you have to do it. and you can fuck off.

Misha: *sends dick pic*

Me: god Misha has the perfect jawline. Not that it matters.

Lizard brain: lick it

Me: yes, yes if I actually had a real relationship with him that would be well and good but…

Lizard brain: LICKIT

Me: yes, yes I heard you but what’s crucial is that Misha is one of the very best humans out there not that he has the stubbled and chiseled jawline of a Greek god so I really think we should focus on…

Jensen (in the distance): oh my God! it doesn’t have to be a choice, dummy!! L I CK IT!!

Jensen’s brain: It’s Misha’s birthday. We love Misha. Say it.

Jensen: No. We are in public. I am just going to call him “the man” and post a cute pic of us in matching outfits.

Jensen’s brain: NOOOOOO…SAYITSAYITSAYITWELOVEHIMSAYIT

Jensen: God fine ok…but I’m using an emoji not words.

Jensen’s brain: Acceptable.

Jensen: And also I’m going to add “bro”.

Jensen’s brain: …. 😒

Jensen: So now no one will ever know.

Jensen’s brain: 🙄

(About this mess right here)

Jensen’s brain: hold his hand

Jensen: NO it will look gay!

Jensen’s brain: but…you are gay for each other? so who cares?

Jensen: Yes, but we can’t LOOK gay ok? So just shake hands.

Jensen’s brain: fine 🙄

**Jensen does whatever this subby, hand-groping bullshit is**

Jensen’s brain: is that…. is that how humans shake hands? in a non-gay way?

Jensen: Shut up.

Jensen’s brain: i’m just trying to understand

Jensen: Shut up, asshole

Jensen’s brain: 😏

Look, I know it’s not going to happen, but all I want in life is for Jensen to respond to Misha’s shirtless video by saying “Hey Mish, if you need a shirt I have a few old ones for you.”

New theory: Jensen gives Misha so many shirts because otherwise his natural inclination is to run around bare-chested and Jensen’s poor, queer heart cannot handle it. (Photo version.)

Cockles trash cat meme origin

So you know how you sometimes go out with you friends and one of them gets way too drunk and ends up getting confessional with someone they don’t know that well? And you kind of want to stop them but, y’know, it’s their life and their choices so you have nothing to do but sit back and watch and be equal parts mildly horrified that they are spilling secrets to a relative stranger and incredibly amused at how they will feel about it later?

THAT is how I feel watching Misha tell the same story, over and over, about wearing Jensen’s hand-me-down shirts.

Misha, you’re currently my intensely emotional drunk friend and you need to stop before you reach the point of crying in the club. Neither of us can handle that. Thanks in advance.

Misha on social media: hahaha…Jensen is my cabin boy…that means he’s a sub who likes BDSM…hahaha…gonna make a comment about a giant space tongue rimming Jensen b/c why not lolz…gonna post a pic of myself covered in white goo and imply that it’s come from the conclusion of a threesome with Jensen and Jared…haha I’m such a scamp…I’m just incorrigible…teehee…

Misha when a fan mentions clothing: WHAT’S A JENSEN??? I’ve never heard of one and even if I had I definitely wouldn’t have had any non-heterosexual thoughts or feelings about him…and we’re absolutely not so close that we share in casual intimacy without a second thought…what could possibly make you think that?? I DON’T EVEN LIKE JENSEN OK!!!

Stages of Cockles in Gifs.

I feel like Jensen is one con away from straight-up answering an only tangentially-related question with, “…and that’s why I love Misha. You do know I love Misha, right? Like, love love him, like the way we love our wives. I feel like you guys get it so let’s just move on. Next question!”

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be projecting the words “JUST SO YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS MAN” on the side of the building across from the hotel in case you somehow miss that message in their panels.

At the next con, Jensen and Misha will be screening a 12-minute video that is just them giggling while one of them films the other; there will be no lines and nothing else will happen. Fandom will deem it a masterpiece.

At the next con, instead of his usual classic rock covers, Jensen will be performing a spoken word piece about how great Misha is, accompanied by Jared on bongos and Richard Speight on the kazoo.

In the final episode we are brought to the realization that the show DOES exist in our universe and on our timeline and that this entire time J2M have ACTUALLY BEEN TFW and kept this cover story about being actors on a TV show to keep us from knowing what they are really up to. Most of the show is just footage of their lives, though some of the things on the show were just absurd and to keep us off track.

Misha Collins is an actual angel. Jensen Ackles is a grumpy-faced softie with the biggest nerd streak. Jared Padalecki is a fiercely loyal and intelligent guy who has fought off more than his share of darkness. Gen and Danneel are actually supernatural creatures though neither will fully commit to being an angel or demon. Vicki is too powerful to be captured on film. And of course Jensen and Misha have been husbands for years. It was hard to hide that one on the show.

Jensen: *does interview quote game on his own* Great! Now, I’m gonna go get Misha. He’s gonna be so terrible at this game lol…He has the worst memory and never watches the show…hahaha isn’t that so cute?

Interviewer: oh actually we weren’t quite done interviewing you…

Jensen: yeah but Mish is gonna be so bad at this and I can’t afford to miss that! Imma go find him right now!

Interviewer: you really don’t have to…we’re actually talking to you all individually.

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: y’know, so we can cut the clips together?

Jensen: ….

Interviewer: And because you probably have a lot of other interviews at this huge press event for your 300th episode?

Jensen: ….. Yeah, no, I’m getting him right now. Hey, Mish! Get in here!

Filming with JenMish (aka “why’s Dean wearing a seatbelt?”)

**Jensen makes a dirty joke and Misha cracks up** **Misha and Jensen playfully push each other around the front seat of the car** **Misha says one thing that is mildly amusing and Jensen falls over laughing**

Sanchez, conferring with Bob Singer: What do you do to stop this?

Singer: strap one of them down

Sanchez: You mean, like, tell them to get it together or else?

Singer: No, no. I mean LITERALLY strap one of them down.

Sanchez: ….

Singer: Why do you think they get tied to so many chairs? **sighs** These two have cost us so much in duct tape.

photographer: alright, everyone, fight each other for pie! jensen: mish, you should pull my hair. misha: why? it’s not like that would stop you moving your arm. jensen: …. jensen: misha. you. should. PULL. MY. HAIR. misha: ooohhhhhh! jared: I don’t want to be here for this.

Cockles is the gay booze cruise of ships.

a text exchange that probably happened: jensen: I can’t believe ur still going running on vacation jensen: nerd misha: hello to you too. … misha: awww, babe, you must really miss me! that comment is so sappy! jensen: shut up misha: you “dig” the “WHOLE THING” huh? jensen: fuck off misha: don’t I know it!! jensen: fuck OFF misha: now I have to go like it. … misha: ok done. you huge softie. jensen: not always misha: oh really? misha: how about now? jensen: not now jensen: call me misha; as you wish…

Jensen’s brain (Jensain): holy shit!! look at our hot husband!! mmm…we like the grey and the sweat and the beard and, hey, did we give him that shirt? Jensen: yep. Jensen’s brain: and he sounds all smart and sincere, which turns us on….WOW we’ve been apart for too long! Jensen: tell me about it. Jensen’s brain: Say something about how good he looks. Jensen: I can’t. It’s public. Jensen’s brain: You gotta. Jensen: I. CAN’T. Jensen’s brain: But how these bitches gonna know he’s yours!? Do you know how many people are looking at this video RIGHT NOW?! Jensen: OMG Jensen’s brain: OMG Jensen: they gotta know… Jensen’s brain: YESSSSS!! DO IT!! Tell everyone the sexy, scruffy, deep-voiced, poetry-reciting motherfucker standing in the sunlight belongs to you! Jensen: I can’t say that. I’m just..gonna…tease him? about something? Jensen’s brain: u serious? 😒 Jensen: Well…no… Jensen’s brain: tell him you like the whole package! Jensen: I cannot use the word “package” about Misha in public. Jensen’s brain: 😏 Jensen’s brain: Fine! Can you at least mention how strong he is? Jensen: … I guess that’s less…gay… Jensen’s brain: uh-huh, sure. way less gay. 🙄 Jensen: ok, I did it. now leave me alone. I have to post a picture of my family so that no one suspects I only logged in because I have alerts set for Misha. Jensen’s brain: … Jensen’s brain: hey, you know who looks sexy in flannel PJs?? Jensen: ALRIGHT THAT’S IT

me: *wakes up in a cold sweat and sits upright in bed*

But how much of the mockumentary did Jensen shoot??!?

Misha is busting out of his shirt and jacket in those EW pics again, which makes me think something like this exchange must have taken place:

EW stylists: So, what size is Misha? SPN costumers: Eh, he’s the small one. EW stylists: But…he doesn’t…look small? SPN costumers: Nah, trust us, he’s the small one. EW stylists: Uh, looks more like he’s a 6’ wall of muscle but ok Misha: What’s a clothes? I will wear it. *Jensen sobbing in the background*

”I’m Full Frontal in Here Dude: Guest Starring Misha Collins” title of Jensen’s sex tape.

Jensen’s brain: you should give Misha that valentine.

Jensen: Yeah, good. It will work for the video. Like, as a joke.

Jensen’s brain: no. not joke. he’s your valentine.

Jensen: No he’s…

Jensen’s brain: you can’t lie to me. I’m you.

Jensen: shit. that’s true.

…

Jensen’s brain: Sooooo…valentine?

Jensen: Fine, but I’m gonna call him “buddy” when I give it to him.

Jensen’s brain: 😐

Jensen: People can’t KNOW!!

Jensen’s brain: You literally just called him your valentine on camera on a livestream but OK WHATEVER make sure you say “buddy.”

Jensen: I did WHAT??!

Jensen’s brain: Why do I bother? 🙄

Destiel AU where Cas is a poet who writes secret poems for Dean and posts them anonymously to an Instagram account that he gets Dean to follow and Dean falls in love with the mystery man he feels is speaking to him…and then realizes it was the guy he already crushed on from afar.

aka AU where Destiel is Cockles (with some tiny changes)

[artificialqueens]

Things Unsaid (Branjie) - Manta

AN: First of all, thank you to everyone who interacted with the last fic I posted! I wasn’t expecting so much feedback as a first time author– it definitely motivated me to start writing this sooner. 

This one is a fluffy fic I started writing before the reunion, and obviously we know some things now that we didn’t know before, but I haven’t gone back and edited anything to take that into account. There isn’t a specific timeline though, so this could still be canon compliant depending on when it took place. 

5 things that Brooke and Vanjie don’t say (and something that they do)

1:

The workroom is strangely calm. Conversation lulls as the queens wait to walk the runway. A few queens are still by the mirrors, rushing to put the finishing touches on their costumes or makeup, but most are scattered around the room appreciating a few minutes of relaxation before they need to walk the runway and then stand for God knows how long listening to critiques. Brooke is by herself, savoring the rare quiet. She had finished her face pretty early and walked away from her workstation to avoid the temptation of making any changes that might end up ruining her look.

Now, she is zoning out, letting the time pass, but as soon as a certain figure starts moving in the corner of her eye she snaps back to attention. Vanessa walks toward where Brooke stands leaning against one of the worktables. They’re a few episodes into the competition, so Brooke has seen Vanessa in drag and should be used to it, but somehow the sight takes Brooke’s breath away a little more every time.

She pushes herself off of the table she’s been resting against— Vanessa’s approach feels too significant to not be fully standing for— and then Brooke realizes that’s silly and casually settles back down.

Vanessa takes her place across from Brooke, propping herself against the next table over so they’re facing each other, mirror images. Not that anyone can mirror Vanessa, Brooke thinks.

She feels like she should say something, but the silence feels too significant to break with just a casual greeting. So Brooke stays quiet, smiles gently. Watches as Vanessa nods in return and reaches up to adjust pieces of her hair.

Does everyone move that smoothly? Brooke wonders as Vanessa’s fingers navigate aptly through her wig. Does everyone look so comfortable with themselves just leaning against a table?

Brooke had communicated briefly and rarely with Vanessa before the show, but in the handful of days that they’ve been in this competition, Brooke feels like she’s already grown very close to the other queen.

They’ve kissed. Softly, quickly. Brooke doesn’t know what that means, exactly. Doesn’t know if she’s reading into it. Or if maybe she’s not reading into it enough. All she knows is that she would kill to do it again.

The fact that neither of them has spoken makes Brooke feels like she’s in a dream. Like she’s conjuring the beauty in front of her and none of it is real.

But Vanessa finishes shifting one last curl of her wig, and finally breaks the silence. “This hair fixed yet?”

The casual words travel across the short distance between them, and no trance is broken. The magical feeling is still in the air. Is Brooke the only one who feels it?

“Yeah, mostly,” Brooke says. She closes the few feet between them and reaches out to tuck in one lock of hair that’s still sticking out just a little too far on the side of Vanessa’s head. She’s not even touching Vanessa, not really, just her wig, but Brooke feels a flutter in her chest at the contact.

It’s over in a second, and Brooke steps back to where she was. “Okay, do I look good now?” Vanessa asks.

Brooke takes in the delicate, but expressive features of Vanessa’s face. The contours of her collar bones dusted in gold glitter. The gentle slope of her shoulders and the warm glow of her skin.

“Yeah, you look good,” Brooke says.

What she doesn’t say is that Vanessa is the most beautiful thing Brooke has seen in her life. More beautiful every time she sees her. She doesn’t say that there’s no point in asking Brooke because in her eyes Vanessa will never be anything less than the most perfect thing she’s ever seen.

——

2:

It’s later in the competition now; they’re getting close to the end and Jose can’t believe it’s almost over. There are fewer queens left, so there’s room for everyone to spread out a little bit more on the van ride back to the hotel, but Jose is pressed up against Brock’s side anyway. Obviously.

They’ve all de-dragged for the day, so at least his face is clean, but Jose can’t wait to get back to the hotel and scrub the sweat from his hair.

Brock is resting against the window, and Jose is leaning against him with his head tucked onto Brock’s shoulder. They’re definitely something now, though they haven’t put the exact words to what.

Jose feels Brock shift his head so it’s not against the window anymore, and his cheek nestles into Jose’s hair instead. It reminds him of a cat. Brock has mentioned that he has cats— is that where he learned all his cuddling?

“You know how I’ve never had a boyfriend before?” Brock asks. Jose does know. They’ve talked about it. “Well, I don’t know what I was thinking waiting so long. This is nice.” Brock’s voice is low, and he sounds tired but happy.

“Stop tryna act like you never even cuddled nobody before,” Jose mutters back.

Brock wraps his arms around Jose and holds him to his chest. It’s not the most comfortable be like this, still sitting beside Brock with only his torso bent slightly to the side, but Jose loves it. Loves the soft rub of cotton against the skin of his face, the steady thud of Brock’s heart, the rhythm of his breath. He takes a deep breath and feels comfort wash over him at the scent of Brock, masked only slightly by the scent of his laundry detergent. It’s amazing how quickly a smell can become so familiar. So welcoming.

“Yeah, but it’s different now,” Brock mumbles into his hair. “When it’s with… when I know it’s not temporary.”

Jose’s heart swells at the words. Not temporary, not temporary, not temporary. Jose didn’t think they were, but it’s still nice to hear Brock say it. It’s verbal confirmation that this warm chest, and these arms that feel so safe, will be here to hold him again in the future.

“It’s nice to know you’ll be here again tomorrow,” Brock says, echoing Jose’s thoughts. “That’s new for me.” He presses a kiss to the crown of Jose’s head.

“Well everyone else must be crazy to not come back for seconds on these cuddles.” Jose’s delivery is teasing, but he’s glad to be the one that Brock decided was worth more than a fling. “I’m not about to start turnin’ them down any time soon,” he says.

What Jose doesn’t say is that, even though he has dated before, Brock makes everything feel so different that it almost feels like a first for Jose, too.

——

3:

The season is over, and they’re busy. And not only are their schedules keeping Brock and Jose from seeing each other, but their NDAs require them to keep their relationship a mystery. Which means not being seen together in public too often.

So they FaceTime. A lot.

Brooke has just finished a gig in Boston. Vanjie is working somewhere in Texas tonight, which means she probably isn’t done yet. Brooke tries to remember how much earlier it is there. Two hours?

As soon as she’s done packing up and walking out of the club she tries calling Vanjie anyway on the off chance that her gig ended early. She doesn’t answer. Which makes sense— Vanjie is probably onstage right now turning it for a crowd. Brooke tries not to be too jealous of the people that are getting to see her in person tonight.

Brooke is exhausted by the time she reaches her hotel room for the night, but when she flops onto the bed she leaves the lights on and flips to a random channel on the TV, more than willing to stay up until Vanessa calls her back.

Her phone rings about an hour later and she answers immediately, muting the TV while she waits for the FaceTime to connect.

“Hey Toes, what’s good.” Vanjie’s loud voice crackles through the phone. The screen is still blurry with lag as it tries to keep up with the fast movements of Vanessa’s phone.

“Nothin’, just spending the night in Boston. I think I’m heading to Tampa tomorrow but I’ll at least get to sleep in. How’s Texas?”

The screen finally comes into focus and Brooke can see Vanjie grinning on the other end, clearly just offstage in the dressing room at the bar. “That’s good. Bitch it’s hot as hell down here!” Some other queens shuffle around behind her and they’re all still buzzing from the excitement of being on stage. They say something that pulls Vanessa into the conversation. Brooke smiles and watches from her hotel bed many states away as Vanjie chats with the local queens.

Vanessa props her phone up against the mirror while she takes her makeup off and Brooke stays on the call, sometimes talking, but mostly not, as Vanessa de-drags and kikis with the other girls. At some point, Brooke gets up to turn the lights and the TV off so the glow of the phone is the only thing faintly lighting up her facing.

“Bitch, where’d you go?” Vanessa’s asks when she glances back down at her phone.

“Turned the lights off. Don’t need them if I’m only looking at you anyway.” Brooke curls deeper into the covers and yawns.

“Well, that’s not fair because now I can’t see you.”

“Use your imagination.”

“Alright, but I’m gonna imagine you ugly.”

Brooke laughs. “Fine.”

“Imma imagine you in Soju’s dress.”

Brooke gasps in mock astonishment. “Who knew you were so evil Vanessa Vanjie? The true villain of season eleven.”

“Don’t chu know it.” Vanjie’s eyes are bright as she grins at the phone. “Oh, shit I think my Uber’s here. I’m gonna let you go to sleep, okay?”

“Okay, want to call me in the morning before my flight?”

“Yeah, maybe if I’m awake by then,” Vanessa says, grabbing her things.

“Or I can call when I land,” Brooke offers.

“I think I might be on a plane by the time you get there. I can try you when I get to San Diego though?”

“That might work. I should have a bit of time before my gig.” Brooke tries to hide her disappointment that they probably won’t talk again until late in the day tomorrow.

“Well, I’ll talk to you soon then,” Vanjie says, and Brooke’s screen gets dimmer as Vanessa steps out from the lights of the club onto a dark street. “Sleep good. Miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” Brooke says. “Can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that she’ll be thinking of Vanessa every second between now and then. That she’ll be scrolling through pictures of her on Instagram as a poor substitute for actually talking to her, which itself is a poor substitute for actually being together.

“Bye!” Vanessa yells and blows a kiss into the phone as she climbs into her Uber and hangs up.

She doesn’t tell Vanjie that when they’re apart Brooke sometimes misses her so desperately that it’s all she can do.

——

4:

They’re finally together. It’s in a city that neither of them knows very well, and it’s only for a little while, but they’re together.

Brock had a gig two nights ago and stayed some extra time. Jose has a gig tonight and flew in a little early.

They’re both extremely busy now that the season is airing, and should probably think harder before giving up days of time that could be spent working, but as soon as Brock had noticed that this would fit with both of their schedules, and mentioned the idea to Jose, there wasn’t a question. It was happening.

Jose had gotten in late last night, and they had been holed up in the hotel since then— ordering room service, watching movies, or just laying together like they are now.

It’s late in the afternoon. Less than twenty-four hours since Jose got here and already almost time for Brock to head to the airport. But Jose is trying not to think about that.

Brock is lying on his back, propped slightly up on pillows. Jose is flopped over him, half his chest covering Brock’s own. Neither had bothered getting dressed today other than throwing on underwear when room service brought in their breakfast. They’re both scrolling through their phones now, occasionally laughing and showing each other particularly funny posts they find.

But it’s hard to stay light-hearted when Jose knows time is almost up. He drops his phone into the covers and curls himself tighter against Brock’s side.

Brock feels him move, and sets his phone aside as well, sliding down the bed until he’s fully lying down. He turns so he’s facing Jose, and Jose winds his arms around Brock’s waist. One of Brock’s hands comes to rest on Jose’s hip, and the other arm snakes under his neck. Their legs twine together as well. They’re as close as they can possibly be, in preparation for how far apart they’ll be again soon.

Jose presses his lips to Brock’s chest— the only part of his body in kissing distance. “Don’t leave,” he murmurs. As if it’s an option.

“I would stay like this forever if it was my choice,” Brock’s fingers trail softly up and down Jose’s back. “Once the season’s over we can start booking more places together. Only have to get through a little while longer.”

It’s true. They just have to stay separated through the season. But Brock doesn’t sound very comforted by those words, and it’s not good enough for Jose either. He wants to be together now. Knowing they’ll see each other more eventually won’t make the next handful of weeks any less lonely. It won’t make saying goodbye tonight any easier.

They stay like that for a long time. So long that Jose knows he could fall asleep if he wanted, but he makes himself stay up because he doesn’t want to miss any of these last minutes together. He can’t see a clock— can’t see anything but Brock’s torso— but the light in the room fades into a soft pink as the sun begins to set and Jose thinks it must be almost time for Brock to leave.

He knows it’s coming, but his heart still breaks when Brock squeezes him tighter for a couple of seconds before whispering an apology and pulling away.

Jose watches as Brock packs up the last of his things. “Let me borrow a shirt,” he says from the bed.

Brock laughs. “I just got back the one you borrowed last time,” he teases but tosses Jose the T-shirt that he had worn yesterday when they met up.

The last shirt Jose had borrowed had long since lost Brock’s scent, but this one would hopefully smell like him for at least a couple days. “Thanks.”

“Maybe you should start packing more boy clothes instead of using every last nook and cranny in your bags packing drag. If you’re always needing clothes from other people,” Brock jokes.

“I don’t want clothes from other people, I want clothes from you.” Jose snatches the shirt up off the bed. “It reminds me of you.”

“I know, sweetie,” Brock says. He pauses packing to walk over and plant a kiss against the top of Jose’s head and then leans down to press a deep kiss to his mouth as well.

Ten minutes later Jose is standing at the door saying his goodbyes. He doesn’t have time to see Brock off to the airport, he needs to start getting ready for his show soon.

They kiss goodbye, and then do it again because they need one more.

And then again. And again.

As Brock finally walks away Jose calls after him to have a safe flight, and thanks him again for leaving the shirt.

Once Brock is out of sight Jose shuts the door and falls back into the bed, immediately pressing the shirt to his face and taking a deep breath, and then balling it against his chest.

What he didn’t say to Brock was that he’ll sleep with the shirt every night until the scent fades, and even after that. Even once the smell of Brock is long gone he’ll hold it close and hope so hard to catch a hint of his boyfriend that he’ll sometimes convince himself it’s still there.

——

5.

Brock is home. Well, Brock is in Nashville.

He’s been so excited to get a break in his schedule and go back to his apartment to relax, but somehow it doesn’t feel the same. Still, he has his cats and a couple of nights off for the first time in months, so that’s nice.

He lays down on his bed and Henry and Apollo curl up against him, immediately covering his black sweatshirt in cat hair. Brock gives them plenty of pets and love to make up for all the time he’s been away.

Within an hour he ends up on his phone, with reruns of the office playing as background noise. If it weren’t for the cats, Brock can’t help but think this apartment would just feel like another hotel where he’s passing time between gigs. What did it used to feel like to be home? Certainly not like this.

Brock thinks he’ll call his friends and see if they’re free, but when he goes through his contacts he realizes that most of his closest friends aren’t people that live in Nashville anymore. He gives up on that and goes live on Instagram. It’s nice hearing from the fans, but it isn’t distracting him as much as he’d hoped, so a few minutes in he makes up an excuse to end the stream.

Brock almost wishes he had a gig tonight so at least he could feel productive.

A month later Brock is back in Nashville for another short break, and miraculously Jose has the same day off. When Brock gets the text that Jose has arrived at the address, and looks through the window to see Jose climbing out of an Uber, he all but runs downstairs to meet him. They take Jose’s bags inside, and barely set them down before their mouths are pressed together and they’re falling back onto the couch to make up for lost time.

Later, when they’ve settled down a bit, Brock moves to the kitchen to make dinner. He hasn’t had the chance to go shopping for fresh food and is feeling lazy anyway, so he ends up just throwing a frozen pizza in the oven.

He looks back to where Jose is snuggled up on the couch, petting the cats. They’ve taken to him quickly, Brock is pleased to see. Even Apollo, who generally doesn’t warm up to strangers very quickly, is laying across Jose’s feet.

Warmth blossom in Brock’s chest at the sight. Three of the things he cares most about in the world all sitting together, safe and comfortable and waiting for him.

Brock returns to the couch, raising one arm to make room for Jose when he scoots closer. Brock can’t remember the last time he’s felt so content.

“So,” Jose says, “this is your home.”

Jose is scratching Henry’s chin, and Brock reaches over to stroke the cats head as well. He looks at Jose, who is making an adorable kissy face at Henry, and Brock feels affection swell for both of them.

“Yep, this is it,” he says.

What Brock doesn’t say that it has only started feeling like home again since Jose got here. He doesn’t say that wherever they’re together will feel more like home to him now than any specific place.

But he has a sneaking suspicion that if he did, Jose would say the same.

What he does say is “I love you.” Or whispers it, really. And it should be a big deal, but it feels so obvious that somehow it isn’t.

“I love you, too,” Jose replies and tilts his head up to press a kiss to Brock’s jaw.

They knew, long before those words, how they felt about each other. But some things are worth saying.

[kingjaffejoffer]

Thursday Thoughts #46

If a black man’s shaved nutsack suddenly came alive and could fly, it would be a bat. 

Shout out to nobody bothering me for not posting one of these last week.

The only Drake album I've listened to in its entirety is Thank Me Later.

Russell Simmons slowly revealed to the world that he's a whole ass scumbag over the years.

“If I was Bill Cosby I would die at sentencing, they wouldn’t get one day out of me” - Snoop Dogg

I feel like everything in my life has happened the way it was supposed to happen.

I watched that movie “All The Money In The World” and John Paul Getty really was the worst kind of white person in the world. I recommend watching it though, it was entertaining. A solid 7.5 or 8 out of 10. 

The roast sessions in my family used to be out of fucking CONTROL. My grandma used to let niggas have it raw and uncut. She only had one leg and six teeth in her entire mouth and she’d break a nigga down on the molecular level. 

There’s a lesson to be learned from all of the XXXtentacion mess. And the lesson is, sometimes you can do things that there’s no coming back from. No matter how much you clean your life up or get it together, the things you’ve done can’t be forgotten and you’re going to have to bear that cross for the rest of your life (and even after you die in some cases). So in your moments of passion, or anger, or lust.... take a couple of extra moments to really think about what you’re doing. Some people lose their entire life or future because they couldn’t pause for 10 seconds and THINK.

"Show Me What You Got" by Jay-Z is a wack song that sounds A.MA.ZING live.

“Rich forever, killa. Take my old advice. Better yet, take my old bitches and mold em right”

There’s a place called “Rooster & Rice” in SF that serves Thai Chicken Rice. Their menu is extremely minimalist, I believe they only offer 5 dishes total. Basically... imagine if Apple opened up a high end asian fast food place.... that’s what Rooster & Rice is.

That’s not the point of this story. THEIR NAPKINS ARE OF AMAZING QUALITY.  They’re so thick and fluffy, you really only need one. I had one of their napkins in my pants pocket and I accidentally left it in there when i did laundry. Under normal circumstances, the napkin will be absolutely destroyed and will break into a million pieces.

Tell me why this fucking used napkin came out of the dryer clean and ready to be used again. It was perfectly intact. This is legit a piece of linen. 

Imma put this napkin in my closet next to the face towels. 

I had a really fat moment this week. I was craving sweets late at night but I dont have any sweets in my house. So I hate some edibles because they were brownies. I didnt even want to get high, I just wanted the brownies. 

One time I was eating pussy and somewhere between her 3rd and 4th orgasm she stops moaning, lifts her head up and says, “I see why bitches keep falling in love with you”

How I felt in that moment

[glitterglockz]

march 27 3:07 am

damm I want some wavy potato chips. i think imma smoke a lil more and then come back to write. i gotta lot to say. aigh so lets see. so hey this my blog. this post is like a weekly recap. today is my aries  bday :). i love aries and taurus and aquarius and pisces. rn im watching human resources. okay so life is stressful asl rn. i have to pay my credit card bill, get my shit tg in school, do my makeup, TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, stack my bread, sell my shit on depop, be a bad bitch and consistent, learn how to trade, boss up and not give a fuck about anyone and HEAL, focus on me... ion feel in the mood. want to just be myself. need to work hard asf and stop being so emotional. need to get my shit tg. take care of myself idk. no sex until may! thats my challenge. and acting less crazy. so my taurus bday is in a month april 27 so im not fucking until my gemini bday may 27. my goals from mar 27-april 27: start bodying this school shit, save money, have a consistent routine, have at least 5k saved, being able to balance 2 jobs and school and excelling, pushing myself, doing my makeup everyday, exploring my interests seriously (fashion, beauty, makeup, modeling, pilates, gymnastics, photography), serve looks ditch the crocs, braces appt, blogging, maintaining a clean room (very important), knotless box braids and then ash blonde wig and then braids in front and water wave in back. was i jealous of gigi today bc she had her makeup done and i didnt. or am I just annoyed that I didn't do mine even tho I planned to do it I just didnt wake up. bro im crazy I asked my aqua nigga to take a pic of his dimple to me. bro life is so stressful rn and I feel like im holding myself back. thats why im about to go all out. summer is mine its gonna be so lit I can feel it. im doing the work now. so tomorrow I have to do my biochem project, my neurobio paper, my philosophy of film exercise, biochem videos, makeup, rangila practice, going to server job (im praying this is brief ! like please I dont want to stay there long), okay so lets plan to go to bed at 4:30 wake up at 10:30am shower skincare get dressed do makeup, do hair, eat, go to rangila practice, go to server job, biochem poster, neurobiology project, biochem videos, biochem quiz, philosophy of film, AIDS fellowship and emails and then tale off makeup, journal and watch forex video and plan out week/. I want a peanut butter cup milkshake. weekly goals: laundry, post more on depop seriously, study for biochem, do makeup, order wig and dye, blog and sleep. imma eat some microwaveable macaroni and cheese tm. things are gonna get better. five guys>>>> shake shack. expensive ass little buffalo chicken sandwich. cant wait to get my indian fusion pizza. ive been craving mad food lately. ive been feeling lonely too. im really praying I get what I want and get the fellowship grant award god please 111. time to move on. dont text nobody back. focus on healing and being consistent and money and school and blogging and gymnastics and fashion and makeup and hair and pictures. 444