#imatrash

[zombie-nao]

I was wondering.

Lately there are a lot about toxic people and that to stay positive one needs to cut these toxic people out. And thats true. People who bring u down, blackmail or overweight others with their problems shouldnt be in your life. But theres thin line. So thin it mixes and become almost nonexisting. Because there are people who want to control others, who find it amusing or project on others their own issues. And they are usually what one could call a sociopath or psychopath even. They się verbal or physical abuse. And its better to run from them or give them a piece of mind. But those are not always possible, and so toxic people will create maybe a strong person whose hardships will teach them how to deal with other people bullshit, or maybe another toxic person who will try to beat others down because thats how they were taught, or maybe a victim who will look and behave like what we call toxic person but is not. The last one is my point. A victim lives (or dies) while trying to grasp other people attention, recocgnition, justification, validation that they deserve to live and be here. And sometimes they will stumble into another toxic abuser hands, or they will project those needs on people around. Saying "I never look good", "I wish i didint exist ", "im not needed anyway " and other similar stuff they are saying out loud is what they believe, while hoping for another voice to say "you look good", "im happy youre here ", "youre a part of my life and im glad you are". Just like bad voices repeat demeaning stuff in head, they need these good ones on reapeat as well, thats why many people keep their old birthday cards and similar nice messages. But its tiring. Constantly worring about someone, reasuring them its okay and dealing with their sadness is tiring. Thats why good psychologists are in high demand. You remember youre not a pro who gets paid for this shit and decide to cut out this toxic, pity searching, attention grabing, positivity sucker. Time to start new me with better people, lets shine without dealing with toxic victim bullshit. But, you see, you never got paid for it with money because at one time in your life you probably thought as this person as a friend. And a psycholog is not realy a friend. Its a person who is listening to others because its their job, not because they like their patient. There is often a great chance you were paid differently. Maybe this person helped you out when you were dead drunk in the middle of the night in the city, and only they made sure you get home safe. Maybe they were the only person to stand up for you when someone on the streets treated you mean. Maybe they always had their door open for you whenever you needed to rest. Maybe they were this only friend who in school cared that you were sick at home and brought you notes. Maybe they didnt mind waking up at 2 am to listen to you drunk, sad, heartbroken, lonely or just excited on the phone till early morning. Maybe they didnt mind taking hit for u. Waiting hours for you. Looking everywhere for you. Spending time with you whenever you felt like it.

Because they knew that theyre tiring. And so they tried to ease your mind, care for you and dont let you feel like they did when they were hurt the most. Your words meant a lot, your existence was for them like what they wouldve wanted to feel for others. And so theyre treated you the way they wanted to be treated. But the sadness and doubts withing grew and needed to be put down. And their own words dont sounds reliable, but yours, their friend, they do. And perhaps they never told you their biggest saddest thoughts because they never wanted you to even try to understand it as it could be too sad. And yet, you still left.

Maybe you didnt told them to go away, maybe youre just avoiding them, never come to them again, spend time with positive people while ignoring them or just saying "cool" when they message them that they wish to see u. And with time they come to understand. And never write again. And thats your new happy life. Without toxic people bullshit.

I know its not always like this, that its hard to count on this depressed friend, that they crave attention too much. But honestly, who doesnt? You may think " bruh, i dont". But what if only u were not included in a party? What if at karaoke no one listened to you? What if your opinion was ignored or talked over? Your will would not matter. Technicaly theres way to that, but what if for acting for youreslf youre "The drama queen ", "attantion seeker " ect. You want you voice to be heard, to reach and be received. You want attention because thats how people communicate. And when youre sad, who is gonna deal with your bullshit? Positive people will tell you they dont want your bad vibe.

So you call this toxic victim friend who can relate, and they may answer at once, ready for months to see you. Or they may never answer again. Because theyre not here anymore. Because the voices in their mind were loud enough that could be muted anymore. They are gone. And you even more sad, and everyone pity you. Oh, i shouldve been here for this friend, i shouldve seen this. - you poor thing, you couldnt know, no one could do anything!. But everyone knew, and had enough, and wanted peace. And after this little sadness, they will go back to their happy ever after.

Ps no one will read this but half of what i wrote kinda did happen (except i got told im attention seeker, and one person ever told me they love my personality, im ready to bury a body for this friend) and as much as I talk gibberish i think some people can relate. Sorry for being piece of shit, and a coward.

Ps2 if u dont know what to do with sad friend, take them to a doctor. Forcibly if must.

[darkestowl]

dad <3

[kaidasworld]

And now it’s time to post my second OTP!!!  DezelxRose 

[worstcrap]

Chanbaek season greetings and Chanyeol blanket and goodies -sobs- #imatrash #exo #kpop #chanyeol #baekhyun #chanbaek #pcy #bbh #614everwithchanbaek

[vkooktaesworld-blog]

I need to do this.. for research only do not attack😂🙏

#ImATrash

#Tae'sPotato

#pity

[beka-speaks]

I thought you’d appreciate a Yuri in a Tiger Crop Top, I’m sure there was a lot of fun after this and Yuri convinced Otabek to wear a Bear one so they could be their “spirit animals”

Edit: Art belongs to @imatrash Heather: THIS IS SO CUTE OMG

[trashwithsmog]

Trash

Me talking with a childhod friend.

Friend: Why do you always wear black? are you depressed?.

Me:You see that trash bag with colorful decorations on it?

Friend:Yeah!,It´s pretty cute!

Me:Well...that doesn´t change the fact that the bag contains trash.

The trash bags can identify by the black color,I don´t want anyone to make fake  illusions about my inside.

[kenossas]

Interesting Mark,reaaaaaally interesting.

[theanothergg]

Viu, é sempre eu, sempre.

GG.

[trashwithsmog]

OMg ThIS GirL SO amAziNg 

[worstcrap]

I can't. Someone stop me... I'm too old for this but I ain't regretting anything. Lol #exoluxion #exo #exol #exok #kpop #chanyeol #ofcoursechanyeol #trash #imatrash #iphone6plus #case