#imagine the high jinks that could ensue!
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madametamma · 2 years ago
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When Danny first gets his powers he really struggles with them the first time he uses them.  He goes in and out of visibility without meaning to.  Solid objects just fall through his hands, etc. The only power he got down right off the bat was overshadowing.
Which is a shame because we missed out on an episode where he accidentally slips into someone’s body, freaks out, doesn’t know how to get out, and has to spend the whole day literally in someone else’s shoes until he can figure out how to leave their body.
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cryptictongues · 1 year ago
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Good Girl
pairing: Clive Rosfield x Fem!Reader rating: Explicit (MINORS DNI; 18+) word count: 9.5k summary: Reader needs the rough side of Clive in bed. High jinks ensue. This takes place after Follow the Morgenbeards, and while there are some contextual things that are referenced from the first one shot, this can be read by itself.
warnings: porn with plot, established relationship, miscommunication, fluff and smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cunnilingus, blow job, masturbation, hair pulling, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, possessive behavior, spanking, desk sex, slight degradation, pussy slapping, face-sitting, deepthroating
Spoiler free aside from a vague mention of a side quest and a hunt.
[AO3 link]
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The Backyard has become one of your favorite places. Getting to enjoy the greenery and the fresh oxygen coming from the fruit trees and plants has become a pastime of yours. Your reason for visiting today, however, was a mystery; for Clive wouldn’t tell you.
You had woken up in his bed alone, and assumed he went ahead for an early start and let you sleep in. When you got up later that morning, you saw he left you a note that there was a surprise for you in the Backyard. Your automatic thought was that the Morgenbeards had bloomed. Clive had told you he had to get a special kind of morbol, a Carrot, to help the flowers take root. He had brought a part of it a couple weeks ago, and it’s the only thing that could be waiting for you to unveil. 
So imagine your surprise when you see a whole bed of not just Morgenbeards, but flowers from all over Storm. Pinks, blues, reds, purples, and yellows paint the grass and soil, and you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. Clive went through all the trouble of finding so many beautiful flowers across Storm, and the gesture makes your heart swell. He is so good to me you thought. You truly couldn’t believe that you were the one to capture Clive Rosfield’s heart.
Lost in thought, it takes you a second to register two armor bound arms wrapping around your middle. “Found you.” Clive whispered, squeezing you tighter and his breath tickling your ear. You laugh and sink further into his arms, embracing the beautiful moment you are experiencing. “I can’t believe they bloomed. They are wonderful.” You sigh, your eyes never straying from the flowers before you. He hums and turns you around to get a good look at you. He can’t help but think how you are as stunning as ever, even more so with the look of pure happiness on your face. 
“I would have stopped at nothing to ensure that they bloom.” Clive stated, bringing a hand to cup your face with his palm. “Even more so now seeing the joy it has brought you.”
You grasp the hand on your cheek and bring a kiss to his palm. “You are too good to me, Clive Rosfield. You have no idea how much I adore you.”
“And I you, my beautiful girl.” Clive smiles and brings you back to him for a kiss. You can feel yourself grinning from ear to ear. Clive wears his heart on his sleeve. Since love has been declared between the two of you, he doesn’t hesitate to show his affections. You could be talking with another person in the Hideaway, and he will come give you a quick peck on the cheek before continuing his rounds. You could be helping Mid in her dungeon, and he would embrace you with ease as you continue to work. Ever since that night, he has not shied away from showing his love for you, letting everyone in the Hideaway know you are his. 
The thought of that night sends a flutter to your stomach. It’s been a mere few months since the incident with the vampire thorns… and the best sex you have ever had. After you had been rid of the poison, you thought the night would end with you going back to your quarters and acting like nothing had happened. By the Founder, were you wrong.
If anyone had walked in and saw what was happening before their eyes that night, they definitely would have thought Clive was the one infected with sex spores. 
Because that man was insatiable.
He had pushed you over the edge so many times, had you moaning his name like he was a God you worship. He had spanked your ass until it was a “gorgeous” red, as he had put it, and fucked you until you left plenty of drool and tears in your wake from the pleasure you received. It was messy, it was intense, it was mindless. And you loved every single second of it.
However, every time you both partake in any sort of sexual activity, he treats you like you are his treasure. He makes love to you with care, mending his heart with yours as he sends you into bliss. It is beautiful, caring, loving, and intimate in all the right ways. As much as you love how he takes care of you, you do wish there were more nights where he took you like he did before.
You don’t know why he holds back. You like to think the first time was a great experience for the both of you, despite the circumstances of getting there. There have been many times you would initiate on the rougher side, but the night would always turn out the same. You understand, and maybe it’s on you for not communicating what you want, but you wish he could read your mind. Saying the filthy words of what you want him to do is too much. Especially to him.
“What’s that pretty head of yours thinking about?”
You are released from your thoughts and look up at him, seeing him looking at you with a look of adoration. You can’t help but blush. “Just thinking how lucky I am right now. Wondering what I did to deserve such happiness.”
He smiles and grabs your shoulders, running his thumbs in circles near your clavicle. “For everything you do and more, you deserve everything that your heart desires. I’d move mountains to make them happen.”
Everything except fuck me like Ifrit has taken hold of your cock.
You inwardly smack yourself.  Oh, by the Founder please shut up.
Clive grabs your hand. “I have a few tasks to finish up today. I’m hoping they won’t take me too long though. I should be back by dinner.”
“Okay, sounds good.” You smile. “I’ll see you later then.”
“That you shall, my love. I love you.” He kisses your hand and goes towards the stairs, heading to his next task for the day.
“I love you too.” 
-
“Jill, I don't know what to do. I know I could just tell him what I want but it’s embarrassing.”
You and Jill are out on the Boarding Deck, looking out onto the horizon. Earlier in the day, Jill had noticed your unusual demeanor and offered to listen to your quips and worries. To talk about the topic of sex with Jill when it pertains to Clive was the last thing you wanted to do, but you are reaching your whits end and talking to his childhood friend seems to be a great idea. 
Jill listens intently, the cogs turning in her brain as she processes your words. Jill has always viewed Clive as a softy; always wanting to do good on others. She believes Clive would listen to your request of rough sex if you asked, but what she doesn’t understand is why wouldn’t he want to? A man like Clive has so much of the world on his shoulders. It only makes sense that he would want to let off some steam.
“_____, not to get too many details, but about that night. Was there anything later that night or the day after that could have startled him?”
You hum in thought. You think back to that morning. You had woken up in his bed alone. You remember feeling every emotion under the sun because he wasn’t there when you woke up. You didn’t have time to dwell on it though because Clive had come back in with something in his hand. “Morning, love. I’m sorry for not being here when you woke up. I went down to see Charon to buy some potions.” He had said, but he sounded far away. You remember him administering the potion for you, and afterwards he held you close for a long time; no words spoken. It was comfortable, but you knew he wanted to say something. You didn’t understand why he was acting the way he was, not until you had looked in the mirror later that morning. Your neck was covered in hickeys, and you had grip marks on your hips. But you didn’t see yourself as wrecked. You felt you were glowing. The marks on your body served as a reminder of the passionate night you had, and while you wouldn’t recommend taking a hit from sex pollen, you would do it all over again because you crave it. You crave him. He satisfied a hunger that you didn’t know you even had, and you needed to experience that again. 
You groan. “I think I know why. But he never brought it up. He never mentioned his concerns.”
Jill nods and she seems to understand what you were referring to. “Clive has always had a hard time being honest with himself. You know he has no problem sharing how he feels about others, but when it comes to himself, it’s hard. He has never put his wants first, and I’m willing to bet he wants what you want too. However, you need to express that to him. Because if he isn’t reciprocating, it’s because he feels he went too far.”
It makes sense, you thought. And it doesn’t help that Clive is a gentleman. So how do you go about bringing out the depraved man he is hiding under his calm exterior?
And then it hit you; a plan already forming in your head. A slight curl of your mouth as you conjure up all the ideas in your head. You are going to tease him; wind him up so badly that he takes his sexual frustration out on you. Not only will you save face from the embarrassment of saying what you want out loud, but it will be fun. Good heavens it will be so much fun.
Jill sees the look on your face, and chuckles. “Something tells me you are going to do everything but tell him how you feel.”
You laugh. She isn’t wrong. “Oh, I’ll be telling him, just in a more orthodox way.”
You thank Jill for lending her ear before heading to rest a bit before dinner, as well as hashing out all of the things you are going to do to Clive to get him riled up. Maybe he doesn’t take notice of your rough habits in the heat of the moment, but with prolonged “accidents” and no relief, he is going to go mad. You are prepared to turn him into an absolute beast.
Even if he takes you to the slaughter.
-
It wasn’t often that everyone got to eat together for dinner. People would be out on missions, bring their food to their work stations, or turn in early. Tonight, however, was one of the few nights everyone was eating in the Ale Hall together, and it was lively. Everyone was eating the delicious food Molly had dished out and pints were being passed around in droves. You were sitting at a table with Clive, Jill, Gav, and Tarja, enjoying the night together, laughing about nothing and everything. It truly felt like the world wasn’t going to shit.
What a great time to enact your plan.
Clive is sitting to your right and his chair is right beside yours, your right thigh and his left thigh touching. Everyone else was sitting across from the both of you, with Gav sitting closer to Clive’s right side. You knew you couldn’t get too crazy, as you didn’t want to bring attention to your antics with Clive’s body in view of others. You knew you’d have to be sneaky. Challenge accepted. 
You place your right hand on his thigh while you continue listening to Gav’s story about his experience in the hot spring baths near the Dalimil Inn. You sense Clive glance at you, but he immediately dismisses it, seemingly not thinking much of it. You leave it there for a while, building anticipation, then decide to start rubbing it up and down. You would get near his crotch and then go back down to his knee, repeating the cycle like it was routine. You feel him shift slightly, and he took a deep breath, but his face showed no effect. 
This was going to be more fun than I thought. 
You move your hand away and use it to pick up your spoon, only to “accidentally '' drop it onto the floor by Clive’s boot. “Whoops my spoon.” You shrug and lean down to grab it, making sure your hand grips his thigh as you pick it up. On the way back up, your hand glides over to his crotch to give a quick squeeze. This causes a grunt to leave his lips, following some coughing after which causes everyone to look at him. 
“Are you okay, Clive?” Jill asks concerned, oblivious to what games you were playing. 
Clive nodded, pulling himself together quickly. “Yes, thank you. Must have choked on something.” Jill nods and continues to listen to Gav, while Clive looks at you accusingly. You smile, feigning innocence and decide to do one last thing. 
“I think I’m going to turn in. I have a long day tomorrow and would like to get some rest.” You announce as you stand up. Clive stands up with you. “Would you like me to escort you?”
You push him to sit back down. “You stay and enjoy tonight. It isn’t often you get to eat with everyone. I’ll see you in the morrow.” You act like you are going to kiss his cheek when you decide to “trip” onto him, your chest pressing into his face. You shake them slightly, acting like you are getting your bearings straight before standing up. “Ah my apologies, Clive. A little bit of alcohol and I’m a clumsy little thing.” Clive’s eyes are wide and mouth slightly agape. You wish everyone goodnight, and successfully lean down to kiss his cheek before sauntering away from the table, smirking to yourself at what you feel was a successful night.
-
Today was laundry day, which was the most tedious job you have in the Hideaway. You didn’t mind per say, however having to clean things in certain ways, wait for things to dry, and deliver laundry to people took up the whole morning, so you like to get up extra early to get started. 
You enjoy this time today particularly because now you have time to think about what your next move will be in riling up Clive. You haven’t seen him this morning, seemingly because he had tasks outside of the Hideaway, which gives you plenty of time to think of a plan. Maybe you’ll get Hortense to make you something that’s a little more revealing to skimp around in. Maybe you’ll grab something phallic from the Backyard Garden and tease him with what your mouth can do. Shit, maybe you’d go wait for him in his chambers and play with yourself. That definitely seemed to work last time. The ideas are endless!
You finish hanging the clothes and linens on the lines in the Rear Stacks, and head down to the pier to dispose of the dirty laundry water. As you get to the main deck, you see Clive walking from the small boat, waving at Obolus as he walks away. You can feel the devil horns growing from your head as you get on the lift. All you have to say is thank the Founder you wore a white bodice today.
The lift reaches the pier, and you walk off, waving at Clive as you continue walking with the bucket of water on your arm. Clive sees you and picks up his pace to meet you halfway. As you walk closer, you see that his uniform is filthy, like he had been rolling around in mud for hours. You couldn’t stifle the laugh that passes your lips as he looked so roughed up. “Thank the Founder you got your uniform dirtied up on laundry day, handsome.”
Clive laughs with you. “I apologize, my lady. Things got out of hand.”
You set the water bucket down and stand so your chests are almost touching. You bring your fingertips to his arm and let them travel slowly up. “Did you have some fun without me?” You pout, your fingertips now at his shoulders. Clive grins, catching on to your playfulness. “If wrestling with a sekhret in the swampy waters of the Greenheaves is your definition of fun, then it was very fun.”
“You are a dirty boy.” You grin, your fingertips now at the opening of his undershirt. “It’s okay though. I like cleaning you up.” You let your finger drag on the skin of his pectoral, collecting some of the muck that was there. Your other hand travels to his hair, gripping it slightly and pulling his head down so his ear is by your mouth. “Just so I can dirty you up again.” As you say that, you run your dirty finger right under his ear. You feel his body twitch, the undersides of his ears always so sensitive. You release him and step away, reaching down to get the water bucket like nothing happened. You hear Clive release a sigh as you are looking away, and you smirk. This is all too fun. 
You go back to look at him. “I’ll pick your uniform up from your chambers. Go ahead and get clean and I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?”
“Y-yeah. I will see you later, my love.” He stutters, face noticeably red even under all the muck. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek before heading to the lift. 
Time to enact the second half of this teasing session.
You pick up the water acting like you were about to dump its contents into the water when you tilt it towards you slightly, letting the water run down your chest and turning your white bodice very see through. You drop the bucket to draw attention to yourself from Clive. “Bloody hell, I’ve made a mess of myself.” You run your hands up your breasts, pinching your nipples every pass so they are peaked through your drenched top. You glance up at Clive, and the sight before you makes your stomach flip.
Clive is staring you down. His eyes are directed to your movements, his pupils growing bigger and his mouth slacking. You can see his brain is working overtime to process what he was witnessing; his innocent little girl turning into a cunning woman right before his eyes. You walk towards him, pulling your bodice down slightly. “I guess I’ll need to change into something more presentable.” 
You stop in your tracks when he walks slowly towards you and takes his cape off. You stare at him, wondering what he is about to do. He takes his cape and wraps it around your shoulders. You grimace slightly. “Darling, I’m fine. You just made me filthier with your cape.”
Clive takes a step closer, mirroring your positions from a few moments ago. He leans his head to your ear, and the words that come out of his mouth make your pussy flutter. “I’d rather have you filthy than go back up with your tits on full display for everyone to see. They are for my eyes only. Don’t you forget that.”
With that said, he steps away and walks back towards the lift, leaving you there in your drenched bodice, his dirty cape, and your now damp knickers. He is so close to snapping. You just need to give him a little more of a push. 
And only then will you be in for it. 
-
“Clive, please let me cum!”
“No.”
Clive was fucking you, his hand in your hair and his hand wrapped around your throat, keeping your back to his chest as he continues thrusting into your tight heat. You were whimpering at the fact that he wouldn’t let you cum, pulling out every time he’d feel you clenching on him for too long. 
He is giving you hard thrusts, making your breasts bounce on their own accord. He takes the hand that was in your hair and draws it down to your stomach, keeping his hand on the lower part of your belly. 
“Fuck can you feel that?” Clive growls into your ear, pushing down on your stomach where his cock is bulging. You cry out and grab onto his arm that’s draped around your chest, gripping for dear life as he continues his assault on your pussy. Clive pushes your head back, so your head is on his shoulder, and leans down to kiss you. The kiss is gentle in juxtaposition to the pounding he is giving you. He pulls away slightly, lips grazing each other and breaths heavy. He keeps his eyes on you, and finally grants you what you’ve been needing.
“Cum for me, sweetheart.”
Your eyes shot open, brain processing where you were and why you weren’t cumming. You let your senses take control, and you see you are in Clive’s chambers and note that the morning horizon has yet to break. You can feel a warm, burly body pressed against you, arm draped over your torso and the sound of light breaths passing through the air.
Fuck I had a sex dream…
You inwardly groan. This is getting out of hand. The dream felt so real, and it was one of the hottest things your brain has ever conjured up. You know you are wounded up tight to be having dreams like that right beside the man who could make that a reality.
Soon enough. It will happen soon enough.
You reach down to feel that your knickers are damp. You dip your fingers into your heat and couldn’t believe how wet you were. You bring the essence to your clit and gently rub it, shivering at the contact. Founder you are so sensitive. You must be super on edge to be so sensitive without any prior pleasure. You keep rubbing your clit, wanting some form of release. You want to wake Clive up but it’s too soon. Give in now and your efforts will be for nothing.
As you continue to touch yourself, an idea pops into your head; the ultimate move to drive Clive to madness. You giggle to yourself; this was such a good idea you couldn’t believe you hadn’t thought of it before. 
You are going to put your soiled knickers into Clive’s pants pouch before his trip to Dalimil today. 
You maneuver yourself so your arms aren’t touching Clive, not wanting him to wake up while you are playing with yourself. You alternate between rubbing your clit and fingering yourself, drawing out the fluids so it sets in your underwear. You go back to your dream, filling in the gaps of what happened before and what happened after you woke up. Imagining how after you would come, he would keep fucking you until you came again and again. Imagining how he would pull out and make you suck his cock covered in your juices, ensuring that you consumed every last drop of his spend when he comes in your mouth. How he would make out with you after, wanting to get a taste of himself from your lips. That thought alone sends you over the edge.
You bite onto your arm to prevent the cathartic sounds that want to escape your mouth, and push through it. You let the cum from your pussy seep out onto your knickers and you can’t help the grin that spreads across your face. You have never done something so naughty before and it feels so good to act out, especially knowing what these actions will hopefully lead to. 
You remove your hand and lick your essence to rid yourself of the evidence. You take Clive’s arm and move it off of you so you could get up. You move from the bed and walk to where he keeps his uniform. You slide your knickers from under your gown and fold it neatly so it would fit nicely in the pouch. Right as you stick it in there, you hear movement from the bed. 
“_____, are you okay?”
You turn to see a sleepy Clive, his eyes half-lidded as he looks at you. You turn around, playing off the innocent facade after doing something naughty. “I’m okay. I had to go to the privy chambers to relieve myself.” You walk back over to the bed and Clive sits up to draw you back into his arms. He snuggles his head into your neck as you lay on your back, taking a deep breath before releasing it. “Truthfully, I don’t know how I’m going to survive a night without you beside me. I can’t sleep without you.” 
You turn your body to face him, heart melting at the small confession. “It is only for a night, my love. Besides, you’ll have something to look forward to. So don’t keep me waiting too long.” You run your fingers down his face, Clive turning his head to kiss your palm before pulling you closer, his head resting against your chest. His legs intertwined with yours and he places his arms comfortably around you. You sigh, enjoying the peace of the night with him.
The calm before the storm. 
-
Clive has been in Dalimil all day, helping L’ubor with some disturbances happening out in the Velkroy, as well as helping a few residents in the area. He had come back from the desert to the Briar’s Kiss to deliver the stolen resources from one of the bandit groups that lurked nearby, and L’ubor looked thrilled.
“Cliiiiive.” He draws out. “I knew you’d get the job done.”
“I’m glad I could be of service.” Clive nods. “Is there anything else that needs to be handled?”
L’ubor shakes his head. “Please, you’ve done enough, and it is almost night. You should rest up for your travels back home tomorrow. Take this gil and mineral deposits for your resourcefulness.” 
Clive takes the gifts from him. “I appreciate it. Till next time, L’ubor.”
Clive turns to walk away, opening his pouch to put the items in when he feels something within it. That’s strange. I swore I emptied them yesterday.
He takes out whatever the item was and inspects it, only to flush a thousand shades of red when he realizes what he’s holding. Your knickers. He is in shock, wondering what your knickers were doing in there. He definitely didn’t take them, he’s not a pervert. He thinks back to this morning when you were standing on the other side of the room… where he sets his uniform.
Curiosity sets in, lifting the underwear to his nose and inhaling briefly. The brief scent traveled up his nose and in that moment a switch flicked in his brain and blood started to rush to his groin. He groans. She smells so fucking good.
With haste, Clive goes to his room in the inn, wanting to take care of the ever-growing problem in his pants. He lies on the bed, still fully clothed, and starts to grope his cock through his trousers. Your underwear is in a death grip, his mind wandering to thoughts of you and how much of a naughty girl you’ve become. 
Looking back at the last couple days, he starts to think about all the incidents that happened with you around. He really did think the groping at dinner was an accident; a reflex to protect yourself from the fall that just happened to land your tits in his face. He grew more suspicious the next day at the pier, when you were talking in euphemisms and “accidentally” spilt water on yourself. He gropes himself harder at the thought that you were going to go back up with your breasts on display through your wet bodice. Fuck, you were really going to do it. 
But this? The knickers in his pouch? He almost couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe you would do something so risqué. This alone makes the other incidents purposeful, and it was now obvious what you were doing, and it worked because his mind has opened the vault of all the filthy things he wants to do to you.
He slides his hand into his trousers and pulls his cock from its confines. He takes the hand that was on his cock to spit in it before returning it there, letting it warm his cock up as he strokes it. He starts to imagine every little thing he has wanted to do to you, fucking his fist as he pictures himself punishing you for all the bad things you did. You were supposed to be his good girl. Not a cunning, little brat.
He brings your underwear up to his face to inhale your scent, sending him into a frenzy. Your smell makes his mouth water and his hand go faster. Clive loves eating your sweet cunt. He loves the sounds that come out of your mouth as he sucks on your clit and licks your tiny hole; breathy wisps of praises that reach his ears. He loves to rub on your clit as you orgasm so his tongue can collect your sweet nectar, consuming it like it is his last supper. He can’t get enough of it, and smelling your essence from the present you left him is sending him into a fit that he can't taste you right now. 
He is jerking his cock off at a lightning pace, imagining himself fucking you on your knees begging for relief. Imagining you with tears and drool on your face as the overwhelming need to cum kicks in. That image alone sends Clive over and as he starts to fall, he brings your used panties back to his nose, inhaling quickly before he descends. He moans loudly, not caring if anyone in the inn hears him because his mind is only focused on one thing: you. 
As his orgasm subsides, he relaxes against the sheets, dirty panties in one hand and his now soft cock in the other. He needed that release, but his release now has him determined. He was going all in on you when he got home.
With a clear head, he thought about the night of the vampire thorn incident. It was that night that made Clive very aware of his primal needs. He had never been so lost in pleasure before, and he loved letting go of his inhibitions. However, seeing you covered in marks, while one of the sexiest things he has seen, woke him up. He had to remember that night was different because you were infected with something that altered your sex drive. Your mind was in chaos, so his rough touch is what you needed to get you out of it. But what about after? He didn’t know if you would like his actions as much in your regular state, so being softer with you seemed the way to go and for a while he believed that is what you wanted. He should have communicated because it is apparent that he was wrong. You wouldn’t do all these things for a sweet, loving session of coitus. It was an invitation for him to bring you to your knees and ruin you. 
He can’t wait to tear you apart.
-
“Ta-da!” You cheer as you hold up a flower garland you finished. You were teaching some of the Hideaway kids how to make flower garlands, as they had some free time after their lessons with Tomes. They were in awe of your creation, weavings on stems that show off the red blossoms. 
“Can we make one, _____?” One asked, leading the others to chime in agreement. 
“Of course! Just make sure to only use the flowers in this bed. The other bed is a no-no.” You point out the bed full of Morgenbeards being off limits since they are used for a purpose rather than scenery. You watch them pick what flowers they are going to use, helping a few get their garlands started before you hear your name being called. You turn to see it is none other than Gav.
“Hey Gav, what’s going on?” 
Gav gets to you and smiles. “Clive is back! He has requested your presence in his chambers. The big sap seems to have missed ya.”
“Oh okay! Um… do you mind staying with the kids? They are making flower garlands.” 
“Sure! Hey kids!” He says waving at them.
You walk behind Gav and place your garland on his head. “I have to run off for a little bit. Show Gav what I taught the lot of you.” You walk away and laugh as you hear the kids telling Gav how pretty he looked with your garland, hearing him complain and say it made him “handsome, not pretty”.
You take your time getting there, savoring the moment before what’s about to go down. The knickers must have worked. There is no way they didn’t. The anticipation is building as you walk up the steps to his chambers, now standing at his door. You take a deep breath, prepare yourself, and walk in.
You see Clive sitting at his desk, writing something down until he hears the doors open. He looks up and smiles at you. “Hey sweetheart, it’s so good to see you.” 
You observe him. He’s in his white undershirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He is smiling at you, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His eyes are giving off something more… ominous. You can’t read what they are saying, but you are hoping it’s what you’ve worked so hard to achieve these last couple days. 
“Gav said you wanted to see me.” You say, closing the doors and standing by them.
“Hmm yeah, we just went over some things from my trip to Dalimil. I got him to fetch you for me since he was on the way out.”
You nod. “How was your trip?”
Clive stares at you, lips curling as he places his papers in his drawer and puts his quill to the side. “It kept me busy. Had some surprises along the way, but nothing I couldn’t handle.” He sits up a little and scoots his chair back. He pats his lap. “Come over here.”
You walk over and around his desk, sitting in his lap with your legs dangling over his thighs and wrapping your arms around his neck. Clive wraps his arms around your torso and squeezes you to him, letting his head rest on your shoulder, but not before kissing your cheek. You giggle as he snuggles his head into your shoulder blade. 
“Were you a good girl while I was gone?”
The question catches you off guard, his tone playful yet conniving. “Y-yeah. I’m always good for-“. A gasp escapes you as a resounding smack lands on your thigh. Your eyes go wide as he lifts his head to look at you and the gentleman you’ve grown to love is gone. His eyes are sharp, a gaze that makes you want to curl. He rubs the spot he smacked, keeping eyes on you as his other hand clasps the back of your neck. “_____,” he draws out. “Don’t lie to me. I know what you’ve been doing.”
Your mind is going haywire. You like where this is going. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” 
Clive tightens his grip on your neck, not enough to hurt, but enough to send the message you’ve been desperately wanting. “You are such a minx. Tempting me with your bad behavior.”
“Did it work?” You ask, admitting to your actions with the subtle question. 
“You have no fucking idea.” He practically growls.
Clive stands up with you in his grasp and pushes you on his desk, chest flat on the hardwood. He lifts your dress up past your legs and hips, and he almost loses his control. You are bear for him, no knickers in sight. “Fuck, you really did have it all planned out. Wearing no panties hoping I’d fuck you the minute you walked in.” His hands run up your thighs to the globes of your cheeks. “You are going to have to earn it, sweetheart. Starting by taking accountability for every bad thing you've done.”
Yes, yes, yes! You thought. You were going to get what you’ve been needing. 
Clive rubs your left cheek before bringing his hand back, landing a blow. “For teasing me at dinner.” He lands another one on the same cheek, causing you to whimper as the sensitive skin pulsates. “That’s for shoving your cleavage in my face and groping my cock.” He smacks your right cheek. “And acting like it was an accident when in reality you are just cock hungry whore.”
You moan, the feeling of his rough hands spanking you only making your pussy wet. He keeps going, alternating between each cheek, making sure to rub the supple skin between each hit.
Smack
“For your behavior on the pier.”
Smack 
“For pouring water on your bodice to show off your tits.” He delivers two quick smacks in succession. “And for almost going up to show them off to everyone else. I can’t believe my good little girl would try that.” His possessive nature is sending waves of arousal to your brain, and it commands your legs to spread further, pushing your ass into his rough hands; that only makes him smack your ass harder. “That’s for enjoying this. Fuck, you really are a minx.”
Smack, smack, smack
He delivers three in a row, making your cheeks burn in the best way. He leans over your body, his clothed cock rubbing against your bare slit. He grips your hair in his right hand to bring your ear closer to his mouth. “And those were for your cum stained knickers you left me. Do you know what I did with them?”
He flips you over and lifts you, so your bottom is on the edge of his desk, getting on his knees so his face is lined up with your pussy. You flinch slightly, your butt stinging from his spankings, but you focus away from the burn when he pries your legs open, settling them on his shoulders. He nips at your thighs, running his tongue along the marks he leaves in his wake. Your hands go to trail through his hair when he takes your hands and pins them to the desk. He looks up at you, his face right up on your dripping cunt, his breath hitting your hot folds. “I jerked my cock off to your scent.” He presses a kiss to your clit. “I stroked my cock with your knickers to my nose, imagining I was eating your sweet cunt. I was going crazy not being able to just taste you.” He gives a tiny lick to your folds, stopping right before your clit. “I’ve been thinking about this ever since, so I’m going to indulge, and you are going to sit here and keep your hands to yourself while I enjoy my meal. Do you understand?”
You are at a loss for words; all you can think is how hot this side of him is. He smacks your thigh, springing you back to reality. “Do you understand, _____? I need you to tell me so I know you are listening.”
You nod enthusiastically. “Yes, I understand.”
His arms wrap around each thigh, locking you into position with your hands on the edge of the desk, and his mouth goes straight to your clit. He licks the underside of it, while his mouth suctions around it, causing your legs to spasm at the combination of stimulation. His hands are gripping the inside of your thighs as he continues to enjoy himself, his eyes trained on you as your chest goes up and down and your nails dig into the wood of the desk. He pulls away and uses one hand to spread your lower lips, seeing your hole leak with arousal. All he can think is how this is what he has been craving for hours as his tongue dips into your cunt, lapping at it as your juices collect on his tongue. Watching him eat you like this, like this is all he would want to eat for the rest of his life, makes you throw your head back with a groan. Clive chuckles and goes through the motions of sucking your clit and licking at your tight hole before he feels the oncoming wave of your orgasm. He senses you are about to tumble over, and right as he feels your pussy flutter on his tongue, he pulls away. 
“Fuck Clive I was almost there.” You whine, shaking from the orgasm you were denied. 
Clive stands up, his hand coming to your face to squeeze your jaw as he looms over you. “Oh, you aren’t going to cum until I tell you to. You are being punished, sweetheart. I will only let you come when my good girl has come back to me. You will take what I give you.” He lets go of you to back away, slowly stripping away his clothes, teasing you that he is the one in control. And there is nothing you can do about it. 
He takes his trousers off, and your eyes bulge right from your sockets. He had no braies under his trousers, but what he did have was something wrapped around the base of his cock and his balls.
By the fucking Founder, my knickers are wrapped around his cock.
Clive snickers at you. “You like what I did with them? Now I can have my way with you all day if I want to.” He pulls you to your feet to pull your skirt fully off, letting it pool around your feet. He makes quick work of your corset and bodice, drinking in your naked form. You stand under his intense gaze, waiting for his next set of instructions. 
“I want you on the desk, on your knees, legs spread.” He commands softly. In an instant, you climb on top of his desk, doing exactly as he instructed. You place your arms in front of you so they dangle off the desk, causing your upper body to be flush against the wood. Clive massages your ass, gripping your cheeks and pulling them apart. “Your ass is so pretty, especially now that it's nice and red.” You smirk and shake your ass in his hands, earning you a hard smack. “And here I thought my good girl was coming back.”
He spits on his hand, stroking his cock to get it ready for your ruin. Seeing you like this, with your legs spread out on the desk, not caring that it is uncomfortable on your knees, ready to be mounted and taken by him sent his arousal into a frenzy. He settles behind you, one hand on your hip while the other guides his cock into your tight heat. You groan as he pushes in inch by inch, loving the way your cunt hugs him tightly. Clive lets out a deep breath as he is fully seated inside of you, savoring this moment before it ends. 
“Clive, please move.” You whine. “Ruin me. Turn me into your good girl.”
You didn’t have to tell him twice. He pulls his cock out, with the tip settling at the beginning of your entrance, before slamming back in. You jolt forward, arms and hands doing everything they can to hold onto the desk for dear life. He continues these motions; slow, hard thrusts that jolt your body back and forth, each stroke hitting your sweet spot that knocks the breath out of your lungs. Clive is grunting as he continues, loving the way you feel around him. “I love that I get to break you in. Every. Single. Time.” He says attached to a powerful stroke. 
You moan as he picks up the pace, slamming into you as your pussy becomes more wet with each stroke. Your pussy flutters on his cock, signaling that you are on the precipice of cumming, when he pulls out. You whine at the emptiness, your hole clenching around nothing, trying to regain the sensation you had previously. You feel his finger swirl against your hole as it continues to flutter, causing a soft “fuck” to leave Clive’s lips. “Your cunt must love my cock. She’s begging for him.” He quips. He pushes back in and continues where he left off, fucking your cunt with everything he’s got.
You feel yourself clenching on him, the need to cum coming back ten fold. You turn your head to look at him, and seeing him with his chest glistening and his attention directed to where your pussy and his cock meet sends you reeling. You squeeze on his cock, his facial expression shifting as he sees what you are doing. He pulls out again, smacking your pussy this time, which makes your legs spread farther. He wraps his arm around your torso and pulls you up to his chest, shoving his cock back into you. His hand goes to your hair, pulling it back to expose your neck for him. He nips at the flesh between your jaw and your neck, licking the tiny bites to soothe them. He licked behind your ear, causing you to shiver from the sensitivity. “Something tells me that no matter how many times I punish you, you love being naughty. Like it is second nature to you.” You smile at his words.
Because he is absolutely right.
“You may think you can get away with it, but you are wrong. Because for now, you are going to be begging to cum. And I’m not going to give it to you.” He growls, keeping you in place as he sets a fast pace. Clive can read you like the back of his hand, meaning that every time you are about to cum, he knows and he pulls out. He waits a few minutes, kissing under your jaw and running his hand from your torso to your breast, pulling at your nipples and squeezing them. Then he goes right back in and continues the cycle.
You are wailing, wanting to cum so bad, but he is not letting you. Taking his cock away from you, playing with you, then giving it back to only take it away again. Not being able to cum is driving you to madness. Even with your knickers around his cock, you don’t know how his stamina is lasting as long as it is. Granted, he is no ordinary man. 
You try to rub your clit to initiate a quick orgasm before he could pull out, but he catches your hands to bring them behind your back. His left hand is wrapped around both your wrists, preventing you from touching yourself. “I don’t think so, sweetheart. As I said, you will take what you are given.” He wraps his right hand around your throat, not squeezing, but to keep you in place. You can feel yourself going insane, tears from being denied multiple times flowing down your cheeks and moans leaving your lips each time his cock hits home. Your pussy flutters again, and once again Clive pulls out, causing you to wail. “Please put it back! Put it back where it belongs!”
Clive felt feral at your words, the possessive nature taking over his body as he flipped you over once again. He inserts his cock before wrapping his arms around your hips, and lifting you off the desk. Your arms wrap around his neck, and he can feel your body buzzing from denying you relief so many times. He is starting to feel it too, the need to cum possessing his body. He walks up the steps, with you still connected to him, and once at the bed he flops down on it so you are on top. “You want to cum so bad? You have to earn it, so work for it.” He says sternly.
Your legs are tired from holding up your body against the hardwood of the desk, but you are at your limit for being denied and you need to cum. You adjust your legs, place your hands on his chest, and start to rock your hips up and down on his cock. The smacking of your ass against his thighs resound throughout the room as you bounce on his cock, working for that orgasm you desperately need. Clive watches, and you are a sight to behold: everything from your messy hair, to your glowing skin, and your tear stricken face… you are an angel sent to him.
You feel yourself grow frustrated as you are close to cumming but are missing something. You groan as you bounce faster, trying anything to get you there. “I can’t, fuck, I can’t. Clive please make me cum I can’t do it.”
Clive sits up slightly, bringing one hand to your cheek to caress it. “Will you be my good girl from now on?”
“Yes, I’m sorry! I’ll be a good girl just fuck please!”
Clive goes to bring your body down, chests pressed together, and starts rocking his hips up into yours. He keeps one arm around your torso and brings the other one down to your clit to rub tight fast circles. He brings his lips to yours, inhaling your cries and whines as he pummels up into you, holding you so he can give you everything he’s got without you straying away from him. You feel like you are being fucked stupid, and your mind in shambles as he fucks you.
Once again, you feel yourself clench on his cock, your pussy wanting to milk his cock so bad as you cum. 
Clive senses it, and this time he accepts it. “Cum for me, darling. Give me your nectar.”
You wail as your pussy spasms, clinging onto his cock as he fucks you through it. You feel your cunt gush, your cum covering Clive’s thighs and his fingers as he slows the rubs on your clit down. He brings that hand back up and licks his fingers, groaning at the taste of your essence. You are slowly coming down from your orgasm when Clive lifts you off his cock and pulls your body up his, your knees hitting the mattress as he holds onto your thighs to eat your pussy.
Nothing could have prepared for the way Clive devours your cunt. The moans and growls coming from him as he laps at the essence he helped bring on, pushing your body down more like he can’t get enough of what your hole is giving him. The amount of times you were denied, as well as your recent orgasm, has made you so sensitive. The urge to push him away is strong, your clit overstimulated, but he pulls you back to lock you in. You let out a sob as you cum on his tongue, rocking your hips as you whine at how hot this all was. He slows his roll, and removes you from his face, his smile glistening with your arousal. You lay to catch your breath, overwhelmed at what you are feeling. After a moment, you look at him and see his cock looks pitiful; it is practically needing to escape from the confines of your knickers. 
You turn your body to face Clive, running your hand down his chest. “Clive darling, you didn’t cum.”
He lets out a breathy laugh. He sits up, hands on your face as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “I know. Where do you want my cum? You’ve been good so you choose.”
You already know where you want it. “I want to swallow it. May I suck your cock please?” You bat your eyelashes. 
“Anything for you.” He kisses your mouth quickly. “Where do you want me?” 
“Can you stand up? I want to be on my knees for you again.”
Clive groans, feeling more blood rush to his cock, if even possible. He stands up, and reaches for the knife on the chest behind his bed to cut off your panties, his cock too hard to remove them intact. He sets them both aside, and turns to see you already on your knees, ready to take his cock. Like his good girl. 
He stands in front of you, and your hands run up his thighs, nails dragging up and down. You admire his cock, pulling his foreskin back to reveal his pretty pink tip. You give little licks to his top, kissing it and running your tongue along it like you’d be kissing him. You then start to run your lips down his shaft, using the same techniques as you did with his tip. You bring your hand to his balls, carefully massaging them in your hands as your mouth continues its ministrations.
Clive groans from above you, his right hand settling on a tight grip in your hair with his left hand resting on your cheek, admiring how you treat his cock. You move back to the tip and insert it into your mouth, gently sucking it as you gaze up at him. “Fuck, if only you could see yourself right now.” He says gravely and needy. He pushes your head further down on his cock, your mouth accepting him as his tip gets to the back of your throat. You take a few deep breaths, preparing yourself as you swallow around his tip, causing Clive’s hips to buck. You choke slightly, regaining yourself as you pull your mouth back to the tip before going back down, sucking hard every time you get to the tip and swallowing when it is in the back of your throat. 
Clive feels himself getting impatient, and tests the waters as he uses the hand in your hair to guide your mouth up and down his cock, slowing fucking it as you suck. You are moaning at how he is using you, loving the idea of him letting you suck his cock whenever he wants.
He sees how much you are loving this, which makes him guide his cock in and out slightly faster; enough to get him off, but not enough to hurt you. “I should let you suck my cock more often, seeing how much of a harlot you are for it.”
You moan, sending the vibrations to the tip and he groans loudly, cumming without warning. You bring one hand to the base and jerk it while sucking the tip, making sure to get all that he has to offer. You let his softened penis fall from your mouth, and you swallow his spend, enjoying the musky taste that is unequivocally him. 
Clive gets on his knees to scoop you up in his arms, settling you on his lap. He holds you close, rocking back and forth as you both come down from the long session you both fulfilled. 
“Hey Clive?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I have to tell you something.”
“Which is?”
“I like when you are rough with me. I always have. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate that earlier. I was embarrassed.”
You feel Clive’s body vibrates as he laughs. He turns your face to him, looking at you with the look he always gives you: one of adoration. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry I didn’t see your needs sooner.” He kisses your cheek and cradles your head into his neck. “Truth be told, I was worried. I was so rough with you for our first time together. And as much as I loved it, I was worried it wasn’t what you wanted.”
You shake your head, lifting your head so you can see him. “Please understand that I love when you make love to me. It makes me feel so loved by you and so wanted. I want to keep those intimate times, but I also want times like these where we let our inhibitions go. I want the calm and I want the storm. I want everything.”
You place your hands upon his cheeks, leaning in to give him the softest of kisses. He returns it, squeezing you closer so you won’t disappear from his hold. He releases your lips and places his forehead against yours. “I love you, _____. I will love you past my dying breath.” 
You laugh, warmth running through your chest. “I love you too, Clive. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you.”
“Let me run us a bath. Let me take care of you.” Clive suggests, even though you know he wouldn’t take no for an answer. You nod in affirmation, letting him get up to carry you to his bathing room.
“Oh, Clive?”
“Yes, darling?”
“Do you think everyone heard us?”
Clive snickers. “Without a doubt.”
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ruby-thursda7 · 1 year ago
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Does your Untitled Cat Cartoon have a story?? The more art you post of it the more I wanna see these lil guys get into Scenarios and fuck up a bunch of stuff while the audience laughs in the background
THANKS FOR ASKING OGM
you get it man u get it i want my cartoon first and foremost to be funny but also able to get really really dark and real (think gravity falls funny and bojack horseman dark (jk not that dark (could u imagine)))
ok so lisa and bobby are the main leads and basically they story revolves around them finding helix and working together to get them back home and of course wacky high jinks ensue. they meet tons of cats who are out to get them, but they also make lots of allies
cosmo is the most significant antag that they meet because he comes back later as the BIG bad
another important aspect of the plot is lisa and bobby's relationship. early on, its established just how close and important they are to each other. but throughout the course of the story, their friendship is tested. lies are told, secrets are made, there's betrayal, and misunderstandings, and hurt. i want shit between them to get real ykno
lisa is so unsure of her and bobby's relationship that impulsively, she decides to go with helix when hes sent home-- without telling anyone. so eventually the story would be split between bobby who's on earth dealing with the aftermath of lisa leaving, and lisa who's in space somewhere with helix.
eventually, cosmo becomes a genuine threat and blah blah blah lisa and bobbie gotta come back together blah blah they get help from the allies they met along the way ykno how it goes
again, this is all a work in progress so we'll see how things turn out ajsdjag
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lovecanbesostrange · 2 years ago
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(In relation to your 'my best friend's wedding' comment)
Imagine this: Lay it out a bit like a regular OUAT episode (although things will be a little sillier here and I'm not sure how well the structure of this ACTUALLY works but even so). It starts with Emma at her wedding, wondering where August is a why he hasn't shown up. Marco (also at the wedding) isn't sure either. Then, maybe Emma gets some kind of cryptic text from August telling her that he's sorry he's running late and that he'll explain things later (it's a long story).
Now, even though they've been reassured that he's okay and no one is actively worrying about what could have happened to him, Emma is still a bit disappointed. This is where the second plot comes in because Snow tries to reassure her that she also had a similar thing happen at her own wedding with Ruby.
From here we can swap back and forth between whatever happened in August's day to make him so late and to whatever happened in the EF with Ruby and what made her so late to the wedding. High jinks ensue.
alternatively, as you suggested, musical related nonsense occurred and disrupted things. Emma is upset about it at first but also finds it very funny and won't stop bringing it up in conversation later
YES! You already had me at "a little sillier", but the format alone is perfect. Love using the canon way of telling a past and present story with some relation. And that means we can start with at least a heartfelt moment in the beginning.
Emma getting ready for the big moment, getting walked down the aisle by her parents. She can take a peak at the crowd and her face betrays her for a second. Snow sees it immediately. "Oh no, is something wrong? Cold feet? I am ready to drive the getaway car, just tell me what you need." "No, no cold feet. Also I'd rather ask Dad to drive. No offense." "Some taken. But what is it? Everybody who loves you is here a-" "Not everybody."
And so we get a nice little insight into the complicated feelings, because Emma wished August was here to witness her happy ever after moment, since he kinda was there from the very rocky start (causing some of her drama, but also giving her hope and nudging her on - they were both kids). "It might seem small since you had your big fairytale dream wedding." "That got crashed by Regina, mind you. I drew a sword!" - "Okay, that is indeed a bigger bummer." "Oh, but I understand what you mean. A slightly less catastrophic bummer was Red not being there."
*tada* We switch into story mode. To then find out how both of these dorks got up early, having the perfect gift figured out and then tripping into pure chaos. They both make it in time for cake, dissheveled, apologetic smile, and the gift having a slight crack/tear. It turns out they also helped save the day from a catastrophe nobody knew was coming. It was however a silly type of apocalypse.
For the "what did I miss part" we get deadpans of "Nothing, we just got threatened with a curse." // "Leftover music magic for a big song-and-dance number." I don't know why and what happened, but August comes with his pants covered in glitter, so he would have fit in.
Possible IPs involved: - Winnie the Pooh - The Rescuers - A Bug's Life - Ratatouille
Yes, these are all very animal oriented. I think they both can handle talking animals (or animals turned very confused people).
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sciencestyled · 1 year ago
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Harley Quinn Schools Us on Entropy: We're All Dummies in a Chaotic Universe!
Hey there, Tumblrites! We’ve stumbled upon a treasure trove of bedlam, cunningly narrated by none other than the Mistress of Mischief, Harley Quinn, and oh, we can’t help but share the chaotic wisdom! You see, Harley took a sharp left from her usual high-jinks and embarked on a wild ride into the realm of entropy. Hold onto your hats, 'cause this is not your average science lecture!
First off, Harley, our whimsical guide, introduces us to entropy, the science of disorder and randomness, with a pinch of chaos. Her mischievous take on it? It’s the party that ensues when she sets her hyenas loose in Gotham. This dame breaks down entropy into bite-sized morsels of madness, making it as easy as pie to digest, even for the science-averse among us. Imagine having a gas-filled box and watching the entropy soar as the particles scatter higgledy-piggledy. Simple, right? It’s all about disorder, sugar!
Now, let’s cut to the chase. Harley’s stroll down memory lane takes us back to the 1850s with Rudolf Clausius, the daddy of entropy. With a dash of history and a sprinkle of humor, she unveils how this German physicist coined the term that’s now the cat's pajamas in thermodynamics and information theory. And oh, she doesn’t stop at mere definitions; Harley delves into how entropy is measured and why it’s the bee's knees in understanding the universe's workings. The lady sure knows her onions!
Waltzing through the basics, she then throws us into the ring with the Second Law of Thermodynamics. Through her eyes, it’s the universe’s rulebook for energy shenanigans. You see, entropy’s a one-way street, always aiming for a hot mess. Harley makes a toast to the natural decay into disorder, showing us why our coffee and milk won’t unmix, no matter how we cry over it. It’s the universe's way or the highway!
But oh, the pièce de résistance is when Harley pirouettes into the field of Information Theory. She unveils the curtain on how entropy is the star player in data compression, cryptography, and error detection. Who knew the randomness in a set of data could be a measure of surprise? Harley sure did, and she’s spilling the beans, making us wise to the ways of the world, one chaotic revelation at a time.
Before bidding adieu, Harley takes a sledgehammer to some common misconceptions about entropy. She sets the record straight, squashing myths like a bug under her heel, with a grin, of course. And as she hops back into her world of mayhem, leaving us with a head full of knowledge and a smile, we can’t help but tip our hats to the queen of chaos.
This narrative is a rollercoaster through the realms of disorder, with Harley Quinn at the helm, turning the complex into comedic, the theoretical into thrilling. So, if you’re itching for a bout of knowledge with a side of hilarity, hop on over to this spectacular piece, and let Harley Quinn school you on why in a world governed by entropy, we’re all just dummies in a chaotic universe!
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mixedupmojo · 3 years ago
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Danny phantom selkie au
Danny phantom selkie au 
Ok so semi recently I have discovered that there is a selkie Danny phantom au and as someone who absolutely loves selkies my mind immediately started racing with this au and all of the different possibilities until it eventually got to the point where I had to write it all down
so here are a couple of headcanons because this concept is just too good and there needs to be more content for it
Amity would defiantly be a costal/seaside town with potentially parts of amity even build into the water similar to Venice or those houses built on stilts 
Amity undergoes a lot of flooding, especially with the increase of sea monster attacks 
Fenton works being a converted lighthouse at the edge of the town on top of a cliff and annoying all of the locals with its blearing neon lights. it having an underground underwater observatory/ lab that runs through the cliff and is partially located in the ocean so that they have an optimal view of what’s going on beneath the waves 
The Fenton assault hover boat/Vehicle I can totally imagine Maddie and jack creating some wild Thornberry’s esk hybrid Vehicle that works on both land and sea.
Also, the idea of the accidental chaos that would be created if the Vehicle was part hovercraft is insanely funny to me    
Danny’s parents would most defiantly be marine biologists/sea monster hunters possibly from a long line of sea monster hunters that way it has been drilled into them that anything that comes from the sea is a threat 
With that, I mind it could also tie in with how Danny got his pelt in the first place. As it could have belonged to his however many great grandmother who originally was a selkie until her pelt was taken and she was forced to marry into the family, the pelt being hidden away until Danny found it
Sam, Tucker and Danny finding the pelt and getting Danny to try it on then all promptly freaking out as Danny turns into a seal and doesn’t know how to change back immediately 
Wacky high jinks ensue as they try to hide seal Danny from his parents and sister until Danny can eventually figure out how to take the pelt off
I love the idea of Danny having multiple seal forms depending on how he is wearing his pelt. Let me explain when Danny puts on his pelt completely he changes into full seal form, but when he puts it half on, say around his legs he turns into a mermaid version of a seal 
Danny being able to hold his breath underwater longer than any human or seal   
Danny is also incredibly fast while swimming 
As for how the portal could fit in personally I think it could be just the case that amity park has always had a sea monster/creature problem but with Danny officially putting his foot down and trying to stop it makes it more of a challenge than before to the local merfolk. However, I could see the portal work through either some B-movie logic that the Fenton’s accidentally open an underwater cavern, deep sea rift or something of that nature that allowed access to amity park or it could just be an underwater hell mouth situation spewing out some mystical energy or something that ended up attracting all of the local mer/monsters 
When it comes to Danny’s rogues gallery and allies I could see them fitting in a number of different ways such as:
-        Skulker when it comes to skulker there are two ways I could see him fit with this au So here are some ideas for both: 
-        First is shark mer skulker how is challenging Danny for his territory i.e amity park and wants to take his pelt as a trophy 
-        Second is poacher skulker who again is hunting Danny for his pelt. With this version I also imagine him having lost a lot of body parts from the various things he’s hunted and as such has various different prosthetics the most notable being a multipurpose hook hand which he can switch out for a variety of different weapons. Another disconcerting feature is the fact that he is also missing his nose which gives him a very skull-like look.
-        Box ghost being a boxfish mermaid nuff said
-        Technus being an electric eel mermaid 
-        Kitty and Johnny both being mermaids who love to cause trouble with the local fishermen and boats. shadow could be a manta ray or some form of malevolent water spirit or even just a regular shark
-        Ember I think would totally be a siren as her whole deal is music and singing with her goal being to lure people into the ocean to drown and eat them in classic siren fashion 
-        Walker I think could actually be a ranger as I’ve hear/read some stuff about how people have mistaken him for one in the past and I could see it fitting with his character, with him being such a stickler for rules and all. I could image him being a slightly corrupt law enforcer pick and choosing which local wildlife laws he enforces, and as such him causing problems for Danny when he is in human form. He sees Danny’s seal form as a menace to society and a danger to the local eco system despite the fact that Danny isn’t doing any harm. I could also see him becoming Sam’s arch rival considering how much of a nature activist she and if walker if following the rules to such an extent that it is causing more harm than good to the local wildlife then I can see them clashing as they both fight for what they believe is right.
-        When it comes to spectra for some reason I keep thinking that she would be a kelpie. For those who are not aware kelpies are water spirits that usually appear in the form of a horse but can also take the form of a human with the goal of luring people to the water so that they can drown them. She would still be Casper high counsellor only not only is she spreading misery just for the sake of it but she is slowly convincing people to go near large bodies of water so she can drown them later. going off one piece of kelpie lore that I heard about is that she is only able to keep her form through the use of her necklace which is how Danny was able to stop her in the end as she was planning on drowning jazz during her spirit speech which was being held at the beach instead of the school. but by taking her necklace Danny gained full control over her as taking a kelpie’s bridle allows the one who took it to have control over it he then threw it into the sea where spectra was then forced to go after it or it be lost forever
-        Young blood I think would still be a ghost but basing it around the episode “pirate radio” he would be a pirate in charge of a skeleton crew. This idea could also see him taking on a peter pan, Davey Jones-inspired role where he’s trying to get people to join his crew so that he has a never ending supply of people to play with. 
-        Freakshow would still be the ringmaster of the Circus Gothica only instead of ghost the circus consists of different types of merfolk. Danny was unfortunate enough to become one of freak shows main attractions when he got caught in his merseal form and couldn’t escape without blowing his cover as such Sam and tucker and surprisingly the A-listers had to come and rescue him before he was shipped away to perform circus tricks for the rest of his life (yes freakshow totally made bounce a ball on his nose as payback after some particular savage sassing on Danny’s part)
-        GIW are not just focused on ghosts but all forms of supernatural creatures however they lean more heavily into the conspiracy theorist and cryptozoology side of things and as such tucker has managed to spread a bunch of fake cryptid sightings in order to get them off of Danny’s trail. Sam hates them as they often do a lot of damage to the local wildlife whenever they are out hunting for cryptids. Wes is constantly trying to prove to them that Danny is a selkie
-        Fright night would be a deep sea mer from the deepest darkest parts of the ocean and a such there are a lot of local legends say that seeing him will cause you to die of fright. nightmare his horse is a hippocampus.
-        Desiree being a sea witch and granting people's wishes but at a great price. 
-        Vortex being some huge kraken leviathan with control over the weather. When he first showed up in amity park he cause such terrible flooding that the entire town was pretty much underwater.
-        Undergrowth would still be a plant creature only he would be centred around underwater plants mainly kelp and seaweed with his whole look would be based around a coral reef. He is extremely mad at the pollution that amity park is causing to the ocean and it’s what cause him to emerge in the first place as he was lying dormant for a long period of time so long in fact that he was one of amity’s parks local coral reefs before he woke up and started wreaking the town.
-        Nocturne being some ancient eldritch leviathan that no one knows what he truly is. 
-        Princess Dora and prince Aragon being sea dragons with the use of the amulet and regular mermaids without it also both of them living in a deep underwater kingdom populated with other mer which could potentially be stuck in a certain time period 
-        I think Sidney poindexter would just be a regular old mer but with a deep love and fascination for human culture as such I think he’s had a number a very bad experience in regards to interacting with human and as such can be hostile towards them especially the ones who act like bullies 
-        Frostbite and the yetis of the far frozen would defiantly be selkies potentially walrus versions as it ties in with their ice and cold theme either that or they could be merorca’s 
-        Clockwork being an ancient leviathan based off of some prehistoric fish like a Dunkleosteus
-        Pandora I think would be some sea serpent leviathan monster with a Greek twist of course    
-        Wulf being modelled after a wereshark as opposed to a werewolf and as such can survive on both land and in water 
-        Cujo I could see being a product of axion labs as instead of a tech company they could specialise in bio tech instead creating the mutant dogfish that is cujo who subsequently escapes wrecking the place in the process and causing Valerie's farther the loss of his job. Or alternatively, cujo could be just a normal merdog until he gets mutated by the toxic chemicals that axion is illegally dumping into amity park waters giving him his ability to grow massive (we all known that something shady is going on with this company)
-        Speaking of axion lab and the idea of them polluting amity waters it would also account for all of the animal ghost Danny fights in show, as instead it could be that Danny is fighting bioluminescent mutated fish, sharks and other deep sea creatures that have gone rabid
Vlad is a whole other kettle of fish admittedly I had a hard time thinking about how Vlad could fit within this world as a big issue is that a key point of his character is the portal accident which turned him into a hafa in the first place and how that fuels his character’s motivation so with this in mind here are a few ideas I have for how Vlad could into this au:
-        realistically part of me thinks that Vlad would also be a selkie as it fit with his character canon of him and Danny being the same and is the leading argument to why Danny should renounce his father and join him but then that raises the question how did Vlad get his pelt in the first place, so her is my idea Vlad was a selkie long before he met Maddie and jack at collage and instead of the portal incident Maddie and jack accidentally stealing Vlad’s pelt and nearly destroying it thus cause the rift in their friendship as I doubt Vlad would be will to trust them again even if it was an accident or they actually did succeed in destroying parts of it and as such Vlad has some serious health issue because of it (alternative to the ecto acne).  
-        Another idea is that Vlad gets accidentally cursed by something jack and Maddie found on a deep sea excursion and becomes some sort of sea monster forcing him to live in the isolation for years until he can eventually get control of it.  
Danny having water powers, now I know this I kind of straying from the traditional selkie mythos but I just really like the idea of Danny having the same sort of abilities that Cleo, Rikki and Emma from the tv show H2o just add water have (if you haven’t seen it I recommend watching it especially if you like mermaids). As not only would this tie in with Danny’s ice powers but Danny would defiantly take advantage of his water powers to pull pranks on people 
An example is that there is a running gag in h2o where Cleo will use her ability to control water to spray people in the face with their own water bottle which is something I see Danny doing to dash on the regular 
Also still running with the h2o theme Danny being affected by the Luna phases the same way the tide is and on full moons becoming a bit more mystical/feral than usual and feeling a deep pull towards the ocean   
Ever since gaining his pelt, there will be moments where Danny will swim fare out to sea purely so he can star gaze as there is quite a lot of light pollution in amity especially with his home being a lighthouse 
Danny will also sometimes help the local fishermen out by herding fish into their nets
Danny developing a big craving for seafood and ends up snaking on seafood sticks a lot much to jazz’s dismay as his room now reeks of fish
Lots of beach days and lots of swimming too the trio are the ones how are most likely the ones to be out swimming were as jazz prefers to stay on the beach reading 
Danny developing a collection of random sea junk that he’s found 
Sam and tucker finding full seal Danny in the most random of places 
Sam walks into the living room to see seal Danny on the couch surrounded by seafood stick wrappers “Danny you can’t just turn into a seal when things get tough” Danny making a woeful seal sound in response
Danny weaponing his puppy dog eyes against jazz, Sam and tucker when he need to or just to mess with them as none of them are immune to the cute seal stare 
Sam occasionally pretending Danny is her pet seal to get out of situations 
I feel like once Danny started to gain some popularity as phantom the entirety of Casper high would be fawning over cute seal pics of him much to Danny’s embarrassment 
Tucker would totally be the one supplying the pictures as well 
Instead of football Casper high is extremely into water sports with swimming and surfing being the most prioritised, football is still popular though 
Sam and Tucker taking the Spectre Speeder submarine out for joyrides with Danny swimming alongside
Danny constantly being worried about where he’s leaving his pelt as you know there would be a someone who would take it and use it against him. As such I think that he will often leave it with Sam or tucker.
This is a huge testament on how much he trusts them as he is essentially leaving an important part of himself for them to look after 
After jazz finds out he also starts leaving his pelt with her too  
There was a brief period of time where he was worried that Paulina would try and steal his pelt in order to make him her boyfriend but luckily over time, this seemed unlikely to happen. 
if Danny’s parents ever got hold of his pelt, it would be a serious issue as Danny would end up land locked and his pelt destroyed. 
so yeah those are my thoughts honestly this kina evolved into a full scale mer au. If I think of any more I will be sure to add them later. P.s sorry for any spelling mistakes
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literature-islit · 4 years ago
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Donna Tartt - The Secret History (1992)
Sometimes, I think the happiest times of my life were the two months I spent living without a TV or wifi in a small country town. 
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gather round children... 
My housemate had just moved out, and I was going to move out two months later, and the internet was in his name, and I couldn't really be bothered going through the hassle of making my own internet account, etc, so I just figured I’d make do. And it’s funny, like, at first it was at times a little boring and a little scary. Sometimes, I just wanted a comforting noise to have on in the evenings when the sun was down and things were quiet. 
So, I lived old school.
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fun for the whole family
I listened to the radio... I read magazines... I played mp3s from my iTunes... and sometimes I just stared at the ceiling in silence. And, you know what? It actually was incredibly peaceful. I did all the stuff I had to use wifi for at work, and once I got home I dedicated myself to just... emptying my mind and chilling out. 
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GPOY
I was obviously frothing to get back to 21st century life but even still now, the world of instantaneous communication at my fingertips, and zoom chats to attend and so on - I think back about my life without these technologies and I feel a little nostalgic. Because, don’t you think, sometimes the pressure of always being on and available gets a little much?
You know. Zoom chats are awkward, because u can’t read body language so you’re either talking over each other or trying to judge if the gap is long enough to speak. And, with the option of sending an interstate friend a text or FB message, it feels like there’s too much pressure to... I don't know. Stay engaged in a conversation. Whereas, sometimes I just wonder if I’d have a better quality of discussion if I reverted to writing letters?
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I am, once again, in danger of going full Luddite.
There’s something I like to do, when I want to delve deeper into my nostalgia for the past and step deeply inside an all-encompassing retro reverie. When I want to feel the textures of telephone conversations and notes hastily scrawled and dropped in pigeon holes. A time when study meant libraries, and old books and handwriting (not jstor), when you had to walk hungover to get food (no UberEats), when you could go to your college dining hall and enjoy a cigarette with your black coffee (ok, just joking about that one)...
In other words, I step into the world in between the covers of Donna Tartt’s The Secret History.
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Donna Tartt is so cool. She went to Bennington College with my (extremely problematic) fav writer Bret Easton Ellis, and while he scrawled his Valium-drenched numbed-out hip-lit Less Than Zero, she was passing him chapter after chapter of the novel that would eventually (she takes her time writing - as you should - can’t rush perfection) become her first bestseller. 
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the epitome of cool
Anyway, the story goes something like this: Californian outsider from blue collar family attends arts school in wintry Vermont and becomes intrigued by a group of outsiders who spend their school days studying Ancient Greek with an impressive, passionate teacher with sparkling blue eyes. Eventually, they invite him to the periphery of their clique. As he slowly gets to know them, he becomes aware of a secret - they spend odd hours of the night whispering in secret, there are unexplained tensions and injuries and stains on the sheets...
Also, from the novel’s opening, you are aware that one member of the group will soon die. 
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anyone who’s read the book - would this celeb couple not be perfect to play the role of the twins if they were (which they should) to make some kind of netflix miniseries of the novel?
Suspense and intrigue ensues. There is the most vivid depiction of a cold winter I’ve ever read in a book, which had me shivering and clutching at my doona even at the peak of summer. As someone who has lived at a college, the richly textured depiction of college life sent me immediately back to the oak fittings and heavy, stuck windows of my first year dorm room. THIS IS A BOOK TO SAVOUR. 
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you also might learn a little something about the ancient greeks. 
Anyway i read this Good Reads review of it where the reader was criticising the story because the characters were “pretentious” and it felt all like some kind of humble-brag about how “alternative” a group of friends might be and etc, and while I respect the review author’s POV i have to say I disagree totally. You know, most American novels about college-aged students tend to focus around the high-jinks and shenanigans they get up to, that is to say - they focus around the popular groups
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ok, not quite college, but you know what I mean
And so i found it really refreshing that the main characters in The Secret History were certainly not cool (not cool in the sense of going to college parties to drink and hook up kind of cool) (not cool in the Bret Easton Ellis Less Than Zero way, which reads as if it were set in the same universe as this novel (probably kind of is) but about the ‘cool’ kids and makes for interesting parallel comparison); Tartt’s characters are extremely eccentric and, like, flawed in their own personal ways - but somehow painted with such a vivid brush that you could really imagine their appearances, idiosyncrasies, and etc...
Okay, okay, maybe it is slightly elitist. But a guilty pleasure kind of elitist for me! Step back into the roaring late 80s to 90s era, when college kids got the traditional liberal education for free - and totally took it for granted! Without their phones tracking their every move, the crushing pressure to learn the latest tik tok dances and the distracting void of scrolling through memes - it was a recent history but one that has irrevocably past. Read this book to savour it! 
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you don't know what you got til its gone...
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chriscalledmesweetie · 7 years ago
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Top 5, Bottom 5
@iwantthatbelstaffanditsoccupant​ said “Everyone should do this…” so:
Rules:  Tag the person who tagged you, always post the rules, answer the questions, and add the date!
What are your five most popular works? (starting with the most kudos) 
I’m only looking at my Sherlock fic on AO3 for this post. The answers would be different if I included Glee fic and/or popularity on other sites.
Figuring It Out Together  18k, Explicit.  “So, being emotionally intimate makes you want to be physically intimate?”  “Yes.”  “Okay. And, uh, how far are you interested in going with that?”  (A story in which there is a first time for everything...)
Divinest Sense  25k, Explicit.  John has been sectioned — deemed to be a danger to himself and others — and is facing six months in an experimental psychiatric treatment facility. After his recent drug overdose, Sherlock is being shipped off by his brother to live amongst the mad, as though this will somehow improve his mental health. What will happen when these two damaged men meet under the least auspicious of circumstances? Hint: You can expect some humorous misunderstandings, burgeoning attraction, coded clues that the reader is invited to try to decipher, eventual explicit sex, and altogether more fluff than one might imagine, given the rather dark premise of this story.
The Mole  18k, Teen.  Ten strangers — Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Martha Hudson, Molly Hooper, Jim Moriarty, Greg Lestrade, Sally Donovan, Philip Anderson, Mary Morstan, and Irene Adler — must work as a team to win money on a reality TV show hosted by Mycroft Holmes. The twist? One of them is a mole, hired by the producers to sabotage the game.
Johnlock Roulette  2k, Mature.  Five times John spun the wheel, and one time he came out a winner.
Reverse Psychology  537 words, Gen.  Rosie Watson-Holmes conducts an experiment on her dads.
What are your five least popular works?
All five are Johnlockified holiday song lyrics, under 100 words each. They don’t have a lot of kudos on AO3, but some of them got plenty of likes when I posted them here on tumblr. If you want to check them out, they’ll take you less than a minute each to read/sing.
Another Auld Lang Syne  Mature.  New Year's Eve revelry in 221B.
Ding Dong Merrily on High  Mature.  Sherlock and John are topping their Christmas tree. Hijinks — and low jinks — ensue…
Oh My Posh Boy  Teen.  A call from Lestrade pulls Sherlock out of bed on St. Patrick's Day.
Up on the Rooftop  Gen.  What could the rooftop scene in the unaired Sherlock pilot possibly mean?
Happy Xmas (Hiatus is Over)  Gen.  John Lennon ships Johnlock.
Date: August 14, 2017
I’m going to tag (under the cut) everyone I usually tag in my original fic posts. If you’re a writer, feel free to participate in this or not.  :)
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smoke-eyes-fic · 8 years ago
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April Fool’s Drabble
Sorry folks cucu and I are still working on the new chapter. Getting schedules and brain meats lined up in the proper times to get stuff done has been a rather insane venture.  So as a sort of apology, and in observation of April Fool’s I give you an old drabble from my folders of long ago. It sadly doesn’t have an end cause I was never sure where to cut it off. Feel free to create the rest yourself.  Timeline wise - this is after all the whatever-goes-down in the fic. A happy ending with a house and a dog. And hi-jinks ensue. This is based on an old joke I made ages back. Many apologies to those who don’t get the gag. 
It had been an uneventful dusty summer day.  The few chores around the farm had been done in the early morning before the Texas sun started beating down. There was some minor maintenance work that needed to be done on Sam's tractor. But Engineer would get to that when the sun wasn't so high. In the mean time he'd been dozing on the couch watching a Western on the television with Fleabag the hound asleep on his feet. Spy had declared he'd seen enough John Wayne in his lifetime and was in some other part of the house reading.  The Spook was getting restless again, soon he'd start insisting they leave the farm and go traveling.
The doorbell rang startling the Texan awake, Fleabag bayed loudly running to greet whoever was at the door. "Better not be another salesman" he muttered darkly as he slowly rose from the couch, he had hoped they would have learned after the last time. "Just a minute" he called stomping to the door. "Dangit Flea!" he grunted grabbing the dog by the collar dragging him back so he could open the door. "Can ah hel-" he froze as he squinted at the figure through the screen door. 
It was a young girl in a red dress and a beat up red sun hat that threatened to slip over her eyes. "Hullo" she said quietly pushing her hat back to peer up at him. She looked to be no older than six he guessed, too young to be out by herself. Something about her made him doubt she was here to sell cookies. Girl scouts didn't usually bring suitcases with them. He wasn't sure why, but he had a sinking suspicion he knew who to blame for this.
His suspicions were confirmed as she finally added  "I'm looking for my Papa."  
This was a bad dream, he tried to tell himself, closing his eyes for a moment. He would open them and he'd still be on the couch with his movie.  He opened his eyes and the girl and her red hat and suitcase were still standing on the doorstep with no sign of disappearing into thin air."Spah!" he yelled into the house "Git out here!"
Unable in good conscience to leave the child on the doorstep he opened the screen door and gestured for her to come in. Quietly she stepped inside, she turned to her suit case but the Texan had already picked it up. He noticed it was battered but well made, labels from all over the world covered the scuffed leather.
"Who was at the door?" Spy asked walking into the room."Relative of yours?" he asked glancing at the girl, his eyes seemed to avoid looking at the suitcase.
"Actually-"
"Papa!" the girl cut the Texan off walking towards the Frenchman.
A choked sound emitted from Spy's mouth instead of words as he stood rigid in the doorway.
"-She says she's one of yours." Engineer finished lamely.
The child stopped in front of him oblivious to the fact the man was turning a rather unpleasant shade of gray.  She placed her chubby hand into her dress pocket and pulled out a small sealed envelope and held it out to him. Quickly regaining composure Spy accepted the letter, ripping it open. His eyes darted across the papers, narrowing with every line before his hand lowered  and glowered at the girl.
"What's it say?" the Texan asked but neither the girl or Frenchman offered any explanation.
Brushing past the girl he took the letter from Spy's slack grip. It was elegant stationary, the message itself was French written in neat flowery feminine hand writing.
"This is a trick." Spy insisted loudly to no one in particular. "Putain de menteur,"
"Don't use language like that with kids present."  Engineer scolded him as he tried to translate the letter but was having trouble concentrating, his mind reeling through too many things at once.  Who was this girl? Where was her mother? Who was her mother?  How did she come to be here in the middle of Texas?
"Merde! -I'll use whatever language I feel lik-" the Frenchman found himself silenced by one of the Texan's hands over his mouth.
"Hush." he hissed, looking at the ceiling and began slowly counting to ten, trying to organize his thoughts.
He never doubted that Spy had children. From his understanding of the man and his past misadventures, he was willing to guess the snake had fathered at least three or four. Though that was a rather conservative guess he told himself. He never expected to meet any of them. Let alone for one to end up on his doorstep.
He hoped this wasn't the start of a trend.
Finally reaching ten he lowered his hand from Spy's mouth hoping the idiot would have the sense to stay quiet for the time being. Looking back down at the girl he noted the resemblance between her and Spy. The same eyes, dark hair, thankfully she seemed to have been spared the man's nose.
"Where's your Mama  sweetie?" he asked kneeling down to look her in the eye.
"Dunno, she dropped me off at the gate." the girl informed him simply as if this was the most normal thing in the world ."She told me I was staying here for a while with my Papa and his friend while she worked." Well that explained the suitcase, and why he hadn't heard a car drive up. Or why the girl didn't seem confused to see him in addition to her father.
"She's not staying here!" Spy insisted to no one who was listening.
"What's your name?"  
The girl's eyes darted up at Spy and back to him, "Carmen" she responded, not the least bit shy.
"Ah tell yah what, Carmen. Let's go to the kitchen, get you some cookies and milk while your Papa and I talk. Would you like that?"
The girl eagerly nodded and followed him into the small kitchen. He sat her down at the table and pulled a couple of cookies out of the cookie jar. He nervously bit into one of the cookies, hardly tasting it as he chewed into dust,  before putting the entire ceramic jar in front of the girl. Glaring at Spy who had tried to palm a cookie for himself,  he poured the child a large mug of milk and left the jug out where she could hopefully reach it.
"Now you stay here, while we talk in the other room.  Alright?"  Carmen was too occupied with her mouth full of crumbs to do much more than nod. With a wide forced smile for the girl's benefit he grabbed Spy's arm before he could slip away and dragged the protesting man out of the kitchen to the other end of the house, hopefully out of ear shot.  
"That girl and her putain mère are liars!" Spy insisted to Engineer who leaned on the door that was only escape from the room.
"Who's her mother?" he asked irritably.
"It was a long time ago." the Frenchman answered defensively. "Years - before you and I-"
"-That's obvious. So who is she?"
"I was trailing her for BLU, they suspected she was courier for an exchange of Austrailium from a black market source. Then one thing led to another and-" the man shrugged pulling his cigarette case out of his pocket.
"So who is she?"
"She was an agent for Reliable Excavation. One of their spies, our paths had never crossed before. Never crossed after. It was a- one night tryst."
"Yah slept with an enemy Spy?!"  
"I slept with you!" Spy pointed out.  "Still do," he added.
"T-that's-" the Texan sputtered. "t-that's neither here nor there!" he insisted feeling his ears burn. "B-but an enemy spy?" He shouldn't be surprised that the man had affairs with others from RED. He'd known that the Frenchman had little regard for rules or boundaries. At least that explained how the woman had tracked Spy down here. He imagined that only another person in the same line of work could manage that. He held the letter over his face and skimmed the letter haphazardly translating the French writing in his head.
Dear [what the hell does she call him - his name - his alias? Spy? Shithead? Idiot?]
I see you and your pet cowboy have settled down for now. You do like to make yourself difficult to find don't you?
You've had your fun, now it's time to take responsibility for past mistakes. I'm sure you don't remember much of me or that night we fought in Las Vegas. Or what came after. I wouldn't have thought much of it myself, if it wasn't for the end results. Her name is Carmen by the way.  
I've been called away to a job - I'll be away for an unknown amount of time and it seemed it was high time the two of you got to know each other. I'm sure you'd agree with me that a child should know their parents. If only to see what poor life choices look like.
Before you start calling me a liar I have included some lab work you should see. My Medic owed me a couple of favors-.
Curious Engineer flipped to the next page. It looked like some sort of lab chart, "She included a paternity test." he said quietly.
"What?" the chart was yanked out of Engineers hands roughly. "How did she even…" Spy trailed off muttering profanity darkly under his breath.
The Texan sighed and went back to reading the letter.
- I expect you to take good care of her since she is your own flesh and blood. I will be back to collect her. Do not think you can dump her in an orphanage for your convenience. If you do, or if anything else happens to her be assured I will hunt you and every alias you ever used down and make you suffer. The same threat applies to your pudgy companion as well.
"Pudgy?" he repeated - rubbing the back of his neck.  
  "This has got to be a fake!" Spy fumed on, the floorboards creaking as he paced, "Where the hell would she even get a sample?"
Engineer sighed, half an hour ago he had been dozing on the couch, planning repairs to a tractor not worrying about some kid that got dumped on his doorstep. "Spook" he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Spook" he repeated again "Could'ya- Could'ya stop pacin' for a sec?"
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