#imagine if they knew about all the studies that prove that if everyone drove the speed limit it would actually reduce travel time

[hijolehijola]

Me, driving on a small two-lane road with some foot traffic: Damn it's crazy how going the speed limit will piss so many people off like

The carbrains on Tumblr: Um I GUESS if you want to go the "speed limit", you fucking cop, or whatever that's on you but stay out of the left lane (there is no left lane) or the person behind you will be morally correct in committing vehicular homicide!!!!!!

[mimilind]

A Magical Classmate - Part 3

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Rating: T

Chapter Word Count: 1900

Parts: [ < Previous Part ] [ Next Part > ] [ Masterlist ]

Full story: [ AO3 ]

You attend a post-exam party and dance well into the night. You drink too much and Drake becomes chatty.

3. Circle of Friends

Flashing lights interrupted you and a police car appeared. When the cops began to question you about the incident you realized Drake had already left.

One policeman collected the knives as evidence, and when he put them in plastic bags you clearly saw there was no blood on either. 

Had you imagined the drop on Drake’s cufflink?

After taking your names, the cops drove away in the direction the bikers had gone. They said since nobody had been hurt, and the crooks hadn’t stolen anything, chances were slim it would amount to much unless they found them and could prove the knives were theirs.

On the way home, Catrine, Andreas and you talked about Drake. Where had he gone, and why?

“Perhaps he was afraid because he used karate on the bikers,” said Catrine. “I’m sure that’s illegal.”

“Not if done in self-defense,” Andreas objected.

“Maybe he didn’t know that.”

Neither of you knew where he lived or had his number, so there was no way to know. You hoped he had gotten home safely and that he was alright.

The next day, you were relieved to see him enter the lecture hall looking perfectly fine. Today his suit was dark gray with pinstripes.

“Where did you go yesterday?” Catrine asked. 

“Home. I was just very tired and figured you guys would be safe on your own with the police there and everything.” Before she could ask more, he changed topics and began to talk about something chemistry related and the upcoming midterm exams, and didn’t stop until the lecture began.

In the afternoon, he joined your lab station. “Do you need a lab partner?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, thank you.” You guessed he probably chose you to avoid an interrogation from Catrine, and made sure not to mention yesterday’s event in case you scared him away. 

During the lab, you looked closely at his hands. There was no blood on the cufflinks now, even a drop, and not a mark on either hand. When he wrote in his notebook you saw part of his palm, and noticed a thin, white line across one. An old scar and obviously nothing to do with the recent fight.

No, you must have been so shocked and scared your imagination played a trick on you.

The following days everyone spent studying vigorously in their respective homes, you included, and hence you didn’t see Drake again until after the last exam. You gathered outside, discussing the questions and trying to estimate whether you had made a decent result. You also discussed where to go that night for the traditional post-exam party.

Catrine as usual suggested the dentists’ pub, and after some talking back and forth it was settled. It was the cheapest place after all and one of the few student pubs that had a dance floor.

When you arrived, Drake was already at the bar with a gin and tonic in hand, talking to Catrine and another girl from class. This time he wore marginally less formal clothes: a black suit and no tie. 

You joined them with the intention to buy a cider when you saw a notice that tonight’s special was Red Bull and vodka for a very good price.

“Try it,” said the bartender. “You’ll be dancing all night.”

You liked the sound of that and bought one.  

It was strong, and not as good as pear cider, but it did invigorate you.

Martin and his new boyfriend arrived, and Andreas shortly afterwards.

“Let’s dance,” said Catrine and led the way. You emptied your drink and was about to follow when you saw Drake hadn’t left the bar.

“Won’t you come?”

He hesitated. “I don’t know the steps.”

“There are none.”

“No steps?”

“No, it’s not like a waltz or anything, we form a circle of friends and everyone just improvises.”

A gleam of interest appeared in his eyes. “A circle of friends? Alright then.”

You joined the circle and let the rhythm pull you along, swaying your body, moving your feet, doing all your favorite moves – the ones you had learned in front of the mirror a long time ago and knew made you look your best.  

Drake stood still at first, observing Martin like he took mental notes, then he began, moving with a natural grace you instantly envied, but you figured it was probably due to his martial arts training. He had picked the right person to imitate; Martin was the best dancer among you.

Drake’s fluid movements made your heart beat fast, and not only from the exertion of dancing. 

You took breaks to refill your drinks – more of the same for you – and with each one, the ambience became more cheerful. Drake looked like he had the time of his life, and you were glad for him; he normally was so serious.

The pub was crowded and you became warm and rosy. Soon everyone was in their t-shirts, except for Drake who for some reason always wore button shirts with long sleeves. But he opened the top buttons, exposing an enticing triangle of pale skin, accentuated by a thick silver chain around his neck. 

If only you could touch him.

You edged closer. “You dance well,” you said in his ear, raising your voice over the din.

“Beginner’s luck.” He grinned, then his eyes trailed over you. “Nice shirt.”

You felt a pleasant twinge. It was a tight garment that accentuated your figure – was he checking you out? The mere thought made your heart stutter.

You danced on and there was no limit to your energy. The Red Bull worked wonders. However, the next time you went to get one, you discovered you were out of money. Did you buy that many already?

“Want another?” Drake asked. He had followed you to the bar and leaned against it as if to steady himself. You were not the only one who were fast becoming more than tipsy.

“Sure!” You loved free stuff, drinks included.

You stumbled on the way back but Drake supported you. Despite your drunken state his touch gave you butterflies. 

More dancing. You sang along to the lyrics and he laughed at how out of tune you were. Not unkindly.

He opened another button and you admired the sight of more heated, dewy skin. He seemed to look at you too.

He bought you another drink.

The dance floor was becoming empty and Catrine and the others had disappeared. You didn’t know what the hour was and didn’t care.

More drinks. Drake and you slumped over the counter, giggling together at something you didn’t quite recall what it was.

You impulsively patted his cheek. “You’re such a nice guy.”

He smiled sentimentally. “Glad you think so. Used to be a bad guy.”

“Probably went around karateing people, yeah? Can imagine. Is karateing a word?”

“Dunno. What’s karate?”

“Your sport. That you used when we were attacked.”

“Right. Yeah, I went around karateing people and was pretty much a jerk. Want another drink?”

“Thanks. You were badass when you scared those bikers. I’m impressed.”

He grinned proudly. “Always was a decent duelist.”

You finished your drink and rested your cheek against the counter. Just relaxing a bit.

Suddenly you stood near the exit. The music had silenced and someone was sweeping the floor. How did you get there? Where was Drake?

A girl looked kindly at you. “Need help?”

“No, I’m fine,” you lied, struggling to walk steadily as you went out. The night air was cold and woke you up a bit. The world reeled.

You found your bike and fumbled with the lock, dropping the key twice. You felt sick and threw up in a flower patch. On the third try you managed to unlock the bike.

“Are you alright?” Drake sounded concerned.

Relief filled you, mingled with embarrassment. You hoped he didn’t see you vomit. “I’m fine. I thought you had gone?”

“I went out to pee.” 

His admission made you realize he was equally drunk as you. Chuckling, you climbed the bike and would have fallen if Drake hadn’t caught it.

“You shouldn’t ride this. Where do you live?”

“The other part of town. It’s alright.”

“Don’t; I have plenty of room and live nearby. You can crash at my place.”

Drunk or no, in a million years you wouldn’t have turned that offer down. “You sure? That’s nice of you.”

“I’m a nice guy. You said so.” He looked pleased at that.

You led the bike along with him.

“I had fun tonight,” he said. “More fun than… can’t recall when, actually. Must be way back.”

You yawned, glad for the bike to lean on. “Me too.” Then you had to stop and throw up again but Drake didn’t seem to mind. He held the bike until you were done.

You went on.

“Great thing, friends,” he resumed. “Never had them before. I mean, real ones. Decent ones. Ones who weren’t just tagging along because I was… who I was.”

“Mm-hm. You’re royalty then?” 

“Not quite. Well. I suppose you could say… kind of like royalty, where I come from. A good name. Old blood. That sort of thing.”

You weren’t used to this chatty version of Drake and wished your head had swum less so you could pay attention.

“Poor you,” you said. “Everyone needs friends.”

“Yeah.” He nodded with emphasis. “But don’t feel sorry for me. I was a jerk, like I said. I deserved all I got.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re too nice to be a jerk.” You tried to give him a hug but the bike was in the way so you settled with a friendly pat on his arm.

“Thanks.” He patted you back.

You were both smiling to yourselves when you continued. 

He stopped in front of an elegant gate. “We’re here now.”

“Right.” You stumbled on the marble stairs. Again he steadied you.

It was a beautiful apartment, very fitting for someone as neat and well-dressed as him. The combined kitchen and living room had a crystal chandelier hanging from a ceiling far above, and there was a persian rug on the floor.

You found the bathroom first of all and made good use of it. As you washed your face, the cold water sobered you a little. You couldn’t find any toothpaste so you tried to clean your mouth with just water.

When you returned, Drake had put a spare mattress with a green pillow and duvet next to his own bed – also with green sheets.

“You like green, eh?” You flopped down on the mattress, unabashedly easing your pants off. You usually slept in t-shirt and underwear.

“I do.” Drake did likewise and unbuttoned his shirt, exposing a white tank top.

The sight of him in only a tank top and underwear swiftly took away your sleepiness. He had such a perfect body. Why did he hide it?

“You should wear sleeveless more often,” you mumbled. “Suits you. Is that a tattoo?”

His cheeks colored and he put a hand over his forearm with a guilty expression. “Just an old… uh. Anyway, time to sleep. Night.” He quickly slipped under the sheets.

“Night,” you returned, burying your nose into the pillow. It smelled good. 

Before you knew it, you slept.

A/N:

Cue, awkward morning… 

This chapter may or may not be inspired by an actual event… the author admits to nothing and has no regrets. :)

Parts: [ < Previous Part ] [ Next Part > ] [ Masterlist ]

Full story: [ AO3 ]

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Hii!! I was wondering if you can write a dream imagine where like you guys are secretly dating and you sometimes post you and dream holding hands but you never tag him so like people know that you are dating someone but no one really knows who and one day you and the guys were talking and you say something like “oh yeah my boyfriend gave me this this and this” and everyone else is all like omg that’s cute but sapnap is over here like “dude dream literally had that here yesterday” but like sapnap doesn’t say anything to you guys he just tells the rest of the guys that he thinks you guys are dating but has zero evidence so the next few weeks they are just trying to catch you guys and one day when they suspect that dream is cheating (when he was actually like asking your mom for your hand in marriage or something) the boys are all like “dude we caught dream talking with someone else I’m so sorry to tell you this” and like you and dream start laughing so hard bc it was your mom and you guys are like “yeah We’ve been dating for like a year now did we not tell you guys?” Or something like “oh yeah did we not make it obvious?” Idk if it made sense 😭😂

I'm ✍️✍️✍️✍️

𝐌𝐎𝐌'𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings: one or two swear words

You leaned back in your chair, listening to the conversation unfolding before you. You turned the volume up slightly as Sapnap began to tease you about your gaming techniques. You giggled as others began to weigh in, joking about this and that. George’s voice came in above the others. “Guys shut up, her boyfriend works for Microsoft and can get you banned,” he mocked, making you snort.

The image of Dream trying to figure out how to boil water flashed into your mind. “Yeah, he’s terrifying,” you chided.

Sapnap was the next to pipe up. “You can tell us you don’t have a boyfriend, you know. No one will care.”

“No yeah, I do. He bought me this shirt,” you defended, lifting the hem of your hoodie to show the group of them, earning a chorus of sarcastic cooing. Sapnap’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as if he’d seen it before.

George smugly grinned at you. “Oh, yeah? Does he go to another school?”

You snickered. “Shut up,” you mumbled, the chat switching to a new subject. Little did you know, Sapnap was texting George and the rest of them about his suspicions that this mysterious boyfriend of yours was actually Dream, knowing full well that he’d seen Dream buy that exact shirt a few weeks prior.

You’d been dating him for nearly a year, choosing to blatantly disregard any questions about who he was and vice versa. Most of your photos on Instagram involving him were vague and gave your audience more confusion than understanding. Comments about searching for your OnlyFans to see if they could recognize his voice began to circulate and your friends even fueled that fire.

You weren’t sure what Dream had told Sapnap all those months of secrecy, but somehow it seemed like the t-shirt was the first hint at your relationship. After he’d addressed his suspicions with the rest of your group, it was like a hunt to find out if it really was Dream or if Sapnap was just a few marbles short of sanity from one too many late nights.

In the midst of this wild goose chase, Dream was focused on getting your mom to warm up to him. She was a difficult woman to impress, but he was just as (if not more) stubborn than she was. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him, but he’d rather have her favor him over your past boyfriend and there was one she was determined to prefer over him until the end of time. You often joked about him getting close to you only for him to date your mother, which drove him absolutely sideways.

When she visited, he made dinner for all of you and―after studying for a week prior―discussed various books and authors she loved. It wasn’t until he exhaustedly brought up The Crown that the two of them finally clicked. He’d found her “g-spot,” you’d often tease.

After that, they were practically inseparable and he was the one that took her to lunch and sightseeing when she was in town until you got out of school. It was on one of these visits that Sapnap had spotted the two. She was talking Dream’s ear off about something, touching his arm to articulate her points and mockingly appraising him for opening doors for her without being asked.

At this point, Sapnap and the group were certain the two of you were together, therefore when Dream’s voice picked up on his radar and he saw him schmoozing an older woman, his stomach sank. He watched the two of them for a bit, not seeing much change in the way they communicated, but through the glass of the front of the restaurant, he was shocked that Dream was going behind your back in such a way.

That night the group was rather quiet, only a few mumbles from the others would pitch in as you and Dream basically had a conversation amongst yourselves. “So what’s the news. Why is everyone suddenly so mellow?” You joked, making a few of them chuckle awkwardly.

George cleared his throat. “Uh, we have to tell you something…” he muttered. “Dream’s talking to someone else…”

Your eyebrows perked slightly. “What do you mean?” You queried, Dream sending a silent what into the air.

Sapnap sighed. “I saw him with someone else earlier today. They looked like they were on a date or something…”

Dream laughed into his microphone, wheezing as he went about. “You bitch! I knew you were hooking up with my mom!” You joked, biting back your own giggles. You could hear the physical embodiment of a question mark ricocheting through the chat. “Dream and my mom are absolute besties. I wouldn’t be surprised-”

Dream drew in a sharp breath, his laugh making his voice barely audible as he cut you off. “STOP don’t encourage them!” He bellowed, struggling to breathe through his chuckles.

“What’s Dream doing with your mom?” George asked, tilting his head with a probing expression.

You wet your lips. “Since we’ve started dating, he’s been obsessed with being her favorite,” you jested.

“Since you’ve started dating?” Sapnap repeated to the group as if proving he’d been right the whole time.

Dream sighed, catching his breath. “Yeah, I’m at her place right now,” he spoke. “Hold on, I’ll prove it.” You let out a small chuckle as you heard him set his headphones down, followed by his footsteps thundering up your stairs before he was standing behind you. He briefly pressed his lips against yours in a greeting before leaning toward your microphone and sending a “hello from the otherside” to the group.

He leaned his arm against the back of your chair, you switching on your camera mainly because it was just the group of you. “I thought we were pretty obvious like you guys were just making fun of me because you knew it was him,” you stated.

Sapnap looked over his shoulder slightly as if he were listening for movement in his own home. “Wait, when did you leave?”

Dream scoffed. “I’ve been here all day. I literally woke you up to tell you where I was going.” Sapnap furrowed his brows in disbelief at this.

George was clicking away at his computer. “See, I knew I recognized your hands in the Instagram photos,” he mumbled. “I hate it here.”

You smirked slightly. “That being said, my boyfriend does own your guys’ server so he will ban you if you make fun of me.”

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦 || werewolf!Lee Bodecker x reader

summary: being the sherriff’s department’s crime scene photographer means seeing terrible things.  following lee bodecker into the woods means experiencing terrible things.

word count: almost exactly 4k

warnings: smut (noncon but she comes around eventually, if you will), werewolf sex (so...pseudo-bestiality??? but like... not really??), breeding kink, knotting, some a/b/o tropes?, kinda some degradation?,  violence, vague-ish description of gore

Something undeniably wicked was lurking in the woods behind Knockemstiff, Ohio.  That much was obvious.

It wasn’t your first gig as a crime scene photographer, so you knew what to expect; or, you thought you did.  This town was nothing like Toledo, though, in all the worst ways.  You’d left the big city in hopes that you wouldn’t have to see another drive-by shooting, another stockbroker who jumped out of his office, another mafia job left out in the street to serve as an example for would-be testifiers.  You’d left to escape some of the brutality that the urban environment brought.  And to be fair, it wasn’t anything like that, but it wasn’t at all better.  

You’d never seen a cut this deep before.  You’d never seen a body nearly turned inside out.

“It’s that damn bear,” the officer nearby announced, his words failing to distract you from your task of photographing the bloodied remains.  “This happened a couple months ago, body just like this turned up.  Thought we shot the damn thing but I guess we got the wrong one.”

“That can’t be right,” you frowned, stepping back and lowering the camera from your face; it looked worse when it wasn’t seen through the viewfinder, it looked more real.  “Bears might maul people, but they don’t… eat them.”

“They do if they get hungry enough,” he sighed.  

“Do you really believe that?” you pressed.

“I need to.”

The conversation was still echoing in your head as you drove back to the station, which was still bustling despite the day being just about to end.  

You stopped by your desk to grab a folder from your top drawer, "FOR SHERIFF" written in big letters on the front.  Tucking it under your arm, you navigated through the officers and secretaries mulling about to the back hallway of the station, finding the last door on the left and knocking even though it was already halfway open.

“Good evenin’ little lady,” Sheriff Bodecker greeted with a smile when he looked up at you, “got somethin’ for me?”

“Photos from yesterday,” you explained, stepping inside and setting the folder down on his desk.  He opened it and flipped through your shots, nodding slightly.  

"Looks good," he praised— gruff and monotone, but praise nonetheless.  "I think it's enough to prove who was driving recklessly and who was just driving."

"Think they'll be all right?" you asked, remembering how one of the car crash survivors looked as they were being wheeled into an ambulance.

He sighed a little, setting the folder down.  "Seems so, last I heard."

"That's good…" you trailed off, toying with the strap of your camera nervously, studying his face as he looked down at some paperwork in front of him.

You were a career woman, working in a male-dominated profession, and you had so much to prove… but god, if you didn't sometimes fantasize about the Sheriff in ways you knew you shouldn't.  In spite of the fact that you were sure he wanted an obedient housewife, and that that was something you could never be, you'd been known to daydream about another life where he wasn't your boss and you weren't so worried about what other people thought and the two of you could be together.

Or, on other occasions, you just wished Knockemstiff was as liberal as Toledo, so you could have a fling with him and not worry about everybody calling you a harlot.

Either way, it could never happen.  You worked with him and he worked with you; he was looking to settle down and you were looking to start your life.  It was a basic incompatibility.  That didn't stop you from letting your gaze linger on his hands, admiring how strong and thick they were.  God, you wish he'd just grab you—

"Anything else I can do for ya?" he asked slowly, that deep voice making the question sound just a bit more dirty than he likely meant it.

"No, that'll be all," you decided, giving him a polite nod before you slipped out of his office.  

Sometimes, it felt like the only chance you got to really think during the day was when you were alone in your darkroom.  The photo development equipment here was significantly more primitive than what the Toledo Police Department had been able to provide, but you didn’t mind; if anything, it brought you back to your roots, when you were just a newbie photographer who wanted to make compelling art, take photos that would end up on magazine covers or beside hard-hitting journalism.  

That dream had been dashed quite some time ago, but you really did enjoy your job more often than not.  Sure, it came with a lot of gruesome imagery, but at least it was important, and interesting.  

You couldn't be sure what time it was— with no windows and no clocks, and with hours always flying by when you were developing film— but the lack of any noise from outside your darkroom made it clear that it was quite late and everyone had left.

It was odd, then, that you did hear a noise from outside the room, like floorboards creaking.  You were ready to blame the old building settling until you heard it again.

“...hello?” you asked hesitantly, the sterile echo of your voice only making you just that much more paranoid.  “Is someone there?  I’m just here developing my film…”

The red lights cast everything in an eerie glow— bright enough to see, but not enough to assuage your fear.

You opened the door to your darkroom slowly, careful not to let too much light in, and peered down the dark, empty halls.  An uneasy feeling awakened in your gut and you swallowed nothing before hesitantly stepping out into the dark.

Another creak from around the corner made you turn, walking towards the noise and considering calling out again but suddenly afraid to speak at all.

A man's form appeared in front of you out of nowhere.

“Oh!” you gasped, but you sighed a bit when you recognized the badge glistening on his chest.  “Sheriff, shit, you scared me…”

“Sorry, little lady,” he breathed, “didn’t know you were still here…”

“Come in, if I leave this door open too long it’ll let light in,” you explained, pointing to where the street lamp outside shined into the window and ushering him past you into the darkroom.

“What’re you still wearin’ that damn camera for?” he asked, pointing to your hip where it was slung at your side from over your shoulder, making you giggle a little as you shut the door behind the both of you.

“Force of habit.  Never know when something worth photographing might take place,” you explained, returning to the tub of ammonium thiosulfate where you were dipping another glossy print.  

“If somethin’ worth takin’ a picture of happens while you’re stuck in here, I think you’ll’ve got bigger problems than not having your camera,” he smirked.

“Fair enough,” you scoffed.  “Let’s hope I never need to take pictures like these—” you tilted your head towards the pictures you’d hung to try— “unexpectedly.”  Lee sauntered over to where you’d motioned, pulling one the more developed photos from the clothespins.  “That’s the body we found in the woods,” you informed him, “I’m surprised you weren’t called in— it’s pretty gnarly.”

“Sweet girl like you shouldn’t have to see stuff like this,” he shook his head, sighing somberly.  

“I can handle it,” you shrugged, “Believe it or not, I saw worse working mob cases.”

“I’m going with ‘not,’” he answered quickly.  

He was right not to believe you, and you weren’t sure what to say now that he’d called your bluff.

“What… what perfume are you wearing?”

The question threw you off but you figured no harm could come from answering honestly.  “I’m, uh, I’m not…”

He stepped closer, his footsteps soft but audible on the carpeted floor as his form settled behind yours.  Your breath caught when his fingers trailed over your arm and he leaned in, pressing his face to the side of your head as he breathed in.  “You smell good,” he stated plainly, deep voice vibrating in your ears and making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Um… thank you…” you answered, hearing your voice waver.  

Just when you thought he might make a move (was this already a move?), and just when you thought you might actually reciprocate if he did, he pulled away.  “I should… I’m sorry, I oughta— I have work to get done.”

Before you could even begin to wonder what he was talking about, he had already slipped out of the darkroom and back into the hall.  Oddly enough, you were sure you heard him start running the second the door was shut.  You considered shrugging it off and getting back to work, but the more you thought about it, the more you were worried.  Most of all, you wondered if he had seen something in your photographs that gave him a lead on what killed the poor old man.  

That possibility needed to be investigated further.

So, you powered down your equipment and left the darkroom, leaving just in time to see the Sheriff stumble out of the back door of the station, seeming to be limping slightly.

Too curious now to stay away, you followed his path and pushed the door open with your weight, seeing him making a mad dash for the nearby treeline.

“No, Lee, the woods—!” you warned, horrified to imagine that he could meet the same fate as the man in your photographs.  You weren’t dressed well enough for the weather— already the evening breeze blew against your bare legs and made you shiver— but you forged ahead regardless.

The moon light was just enough to illuminate your path at first, but as the clouds moved and the tree cover grew thicker, squinting just didn’t do enough to help you see.  Generally, you weren’t afraid of the dark, but this was different… it was cold, and you were alone; but you didn’t feel quite as alone as you would’ve liked to.  You called out for Lee, only hearing the gentle rustle of the leaves and the occasional snapping of twigs on the ground.

At about the same time you considered turning back and using one of the station phones to call some officers for a search, you heard something.  A whine, maybe, or a whimper.  You weren’t sure what it was; it only just barely sounded human.

“Lee, are you out there?” you called, whipping your head around wildly.  

In desperate need of light to navigate your way, you had a moment of insight and reached for the camera slung by your hip.  You relieved yourself of the shoulder strap, pointed the camera ahead, and opened up the flash.

CLICK.  A brief moment of light gave you at least an idea of where you were standing.  It was impossible not to notice how similar it looked to the background of the photos you had just been developing.  You realized, then, that you’d worried so much for Lee’s safety in these woods, but hadn’t considered your own.

Lee, at least, had a gun.  You just had a camera.  Both could shoot, but only one could protect you.

CLICK.  You moved in the direction that you remembered as clear.  It was even harder to see in the dark after the bright light had burned your eyes slightly, and you longed to reach out ahead to feel out your path yet found yourself too terrified of what you might touch.  You could hear the flash charging between shots, you knew well enough by now what it sounded like when the camera was ready to shoot again.

CLICK.  Something white reflected back in the distance, so you moved that way, nearly tripping on a root for your trouble.  

The cloud over the moon finally blew away, and just barely— finally— your eyes could make out the shape of Lee, leaned against a tree and breathing deep and fast.  His back was turned to you, but even then you could see he didn’t look well, his back bending and swelling with each panting breath that grew louder as you stepped closer.

“Oh my god, Sheriff?!” you squawked, sprinting closer.  “Are you alright?” you asked loudly, but when you reached out to touch him he spun to look at you, eyes wild and teeth bared.

“Leave,” he growled between panting breaths.

“You… you’re…” you tried to begin, but you were speechless as you tried to imagine what trick of the light could make him look like he was getting taller, like his eyes and face were shifting.

“GO!” he bellowed.

You stumbled back, dropping your camera but too terrified to even hear the bulb shatter as it hit the ground.  Your legs couldn’t move right, your eyes couldn’t look away from what you were seeing, and what you were seeing… you couldn’t describe it, couldn’t understand it.  

It didn’t look like what scary stories and picture books told you a werewolf was.  It didn’t look like an animal; it sure as hell didn’t look like a person.  Disturbingly, it still looked a bit like Lee, even though his Sheriff’s uniform was tearing at the seams from his morphing, swelling body.  His cries were broken and twisted as his face seemed to be overtaken by teeth— so many teeth— and dark fur.  

Ultimately, one last command to "go" was lost to a howl.

You finally managed to get your brain and body on the same page, turning and scrambling to run away, hearing him chase behind you.  

He walked on two legs but ran on four, his snarls coming closer and closer as you made a mad dash for the distant light of the police station.  Cold wind blew past you as you sprinted, coming to a sudden halt as you tripped and landed on the ground.  Leaves crunched under your hands and feet as you tried to stand back up, but he was already above you, tossing you to the ground again and pinning you at your shoulders.

You tried to kick him away once he'd turned you into your back, but it was laughable— pitiful, even.  When he curled his lips back to brandish his glistening fangs, growling deeply, you were too stunned to fight.  But you could beg.

“Lee, please, please don’t eat me,” you sobbed.

“I didn’t turn to feed,” he informed you, and it almost sounded like Lee, aside from the depth and roughness that shook you to your core.  “I turned to mate.”

“No…” you whispered, denial more than rejection— and as you looked down between your body and his where he hovered over you, you choked on your breath at the sight of his cock, erect and reddened and.... for lack of a better word, enormous.

You weren’t excessively familiar with human cocks (not all the rumors about the new girl who moved here from the city were true), but this one seemed different than what you’d seen, most notably in the size but additionally in how you could see it pulsing and throbbing.  His teeth were bared as his claw-laden hands grabbed your legs, lifting and spreading them.  Your stupid dress just fell away and exposed you easily, like it didn’t even care that he was a monster.

Your panties were already damp, like you didn’t even care that he was a monster.

A deep breath in through his snout-like nose made it clear he was picking up your scent.  He grinned and you shuddered.

You’d seen how deep those claw marks could go, so you were surprised when he was delicate enough to tear your clothes off without ripping your skin.  The fear that he could or would, though, kept your heart pumping plenty fast— or maybe that was because of his dark blue eyes scanning your nude form hungrily.

He adjusted your hips as he held you with his… paws, one might call them, pulling you closer and bumping his thick, swollen head against your entrance.

"No, you can't—" you stammered, not sure if you meant morally or physically.  There was no way that would fit in you, right?  There was no way Lee would force himself on you… right?

The noise you made when he pushed into your channel was, ironically, animalistic.  His intrusion stretched you wide and filled you deep, and he wasted no time in setting a brutal pace that slammed his rough, strong thighs against the back of your soft ones.

Fear paralyzed you, made you unwilling and unable to fight back.  He was all claws and teeth— where could you reach to try to push him away, without the extremely high risk of him just biting your weak little hand off?  No, it was better that you just laid there, whimpering and sobbing and trying with all your might not to moan at the feeling of being fucked, hard, in the woods, by a beast.

His tongue on your neck was an odd sensation, another way he forced you to acknowledge that this wasn’t normal— because no human tongue was this long, this thick and hot, nor surrounded by sharp teeth that grazed your jaw and cheek.

“Gonna breed you,” he informed you coldly.  It made you squirm beneath him with renewed vigor, desperate not to be filled with the seed of— well, of anyone, but especially not this thing.  Could it get you pregnant, were you even biologically compatible?  You didn’t want to find out.  

“Please, no,” you whimpered.

“If you hate it so much then why is your cunt sucking me in so tight?” he whispered gruffly against your ear before licking it, too, with that cursed tongue.

His question was probably rhetorical, but either way you couldn’t answer it— you had no idea why your body was submitting so easily, why your walls welcomed him so eagerly, why your legs wrapped around his hips to pull him closer.  Further, you had no idea why you were about to come.

Numbness and sensitivity warred across your body, everything feeling tighter and hotter and heavier until you finally snapped and your body shook and convulsed.  His arms reached beneath where your back was arching, and you clutched at his shoulders as your fingers weaved into the fur you found there.

Of course he didn’t stop when you reached your peak, he wouldn’t stop for anything now, so you were forced to take him just as deep and hard as always even as your body went limp and became overwhelmingly sensitive.  It was clear, then, that your pleasure was only collateral damage to him; he was using your body for whatever he wanted, to sate his biological drive to impregnate something.  Like everything else about this, it was disgusting yet annoyingly arousing.

It's hard to say how long you laid there, limply jolting with each of his thrusts, dripping your arousal onto the cold earth beneath you, moaning weakly as you alternated between pleading for mercy and pleading for more.  You watched the clouds blow through the night sky, afraid to look up at his monstrous face, at his pointed ears and shining teeth.  Occasionally you glanced down and noted the way your stomach bulged from the size of him; you couldn't look at that anymore because it would either make you sick or make you come again.

You gurgled and choked as you felt his cock swelling inside you— bigger, wider, until your body was stretched beyond its limits.

"Take my knot," he instructed darkly, "my little bitch."

Disturbingly, you realized he probably wasn't calling you that to insult you: it was literal.  You were his breeding bitch, a womb to carry his litter, and you whined at the way it made your gut sink in shame.

His noises were more animal-like than ever while he came inside you, thick come all but pouring into you as he panted and growled.  Funny thing was, it just didn't stop: he kept coming for so long, giving you so much while the knot kept every drop inside.

You'd never felt so full in your life, of anything, let alone hot come that made you feel warm and sticky and dripping wet.

The knot kept you plugged and showed no signs of going down as he caged your body in, nuzzling into your neck.  He could bite you now and end it all, but you weren't afraid of that since he seemed to have found a better purpose for you.  His heavy breathing made his back rise and curve above you, his clawed hands pinning your wrists beside your head while he started to lick and nibble at your ear, neck, and collarbone.

You didn't even notice that you'd fallen asleep until you awoke in the wee hours of the morning— that time just before sunrise where there's light but no real color in the sky yet— with Lee asleep on top of you.  Regular Lee, that is, naked with no fur whatsoever and a normal cock that had softened inside you.

Okay, maybe "normal" was a strong word considering it was still pretty big and deliciously thick despite not even being hard anymore, but at the very least totally human.

"Lee," you whispered harshly, shaking him to try to wake him up.  "Sheriff."

He stirred, and his cock moved inside you; the subtle stimulation on your sore insides made you moan lowly and involuntarily squeeze your walls around him.  That got his attention, and you heard his breathing change beside your ear before he groaned a little.

"Mornin'," he greeted, his grin audible in his tone as he sat up slightly and looked down at you.  You reached up and brushed your hand over his chest, happy to find a much thinner layer of hair there than last night.  "Of all the times I woke up in this forest with no fuckin' idea what happened the night before… this has got to be my favorite."

"What's the last thing you remember?" you asked.

"I told you to run… I must've caught you, huh…"

You nodded and bit your lip.  

"You know I can't stop, when I'm like that… I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay," you sighed, "you didn't— it wasn't you."

"But it's my seed in you," he remembered, his words sending a little tingle up your spine.  

He must have felt it, must have seen your eyes widen or heard you gasp a little, because he grinned proudly as he looked down at you.

"Oh, you really love it, huh?  Love bein' mine…"

His hands held your arms tight as he pinned them down, making you whimper a little while he leaned in to suck on your neck.

"Love bein' bred like a bitch, ain't that right?"

You heard the deep, desperate moan before you even realized it had come from your mouth, his chuckle beside your ear making your heart twist.

"Yeah, I can tell… who knew you were so dirty, little lady?  Sweet girl like you shouldn't be gettin' off on being ravaged in the woods by a monster."

"Y-you're not a monster," you protested weakly.

"I eat people," he reminded you, letting go of your hands which you instantly weaved into his hair.

"Well, that's… everybody's got flaws, that's all."

"Yeah?  And what's yours?" he teased.

"I've got a crush on my boss," you answered with a grin, "and I came harder than I ever have in my life being fucked by… what are you?"

"The clinical term is lycanthrope."

"Right," you nodded, "that."

"And what would a pretty girl like you have a crush on me for, hm?"

"I dunno," you smiled coyly, running a finger down his chest, "guess I just thought you were cute…"

"Cute?!" he scoffed incredulously.

"Yeah… and sweet… you know, you go around actin' all tough and stuff, but I think you're really just harmless."

He cut you off with a growl as he lightly bit at your neck, holding your arms down again and tightening his grip on your wrists until you yelped and giggled happily.  "Oh, honey, you have no idea yet just how monstrous I can really be…"

[handsome-enemy-you-despise]

okay it’s time to be boring, so it’s my salty review on

Love, Theodosia

spoiler I lost my calm demeanour at some point

I don’t judge novels basing on their historical accuracy. At the end of the day as long as novel doesn’t try to make you believe that it was careful with historical narrative it doesn’t matter. So I’ll try to minimise mentioning how little it has to do with history and how shallow author’s study of it was. It’s not like there’s no other problems to choose from.

We’ll start from the good stuff since there’re few. Not gonna lie, I can get enormous pleasure from bad books if they’re funny and some specific lines in this one actually made me laugh out loud. Needless to say all of them were connected with dynamic between Aaron and Alexander. I do love this tendency of literally every author that tries to paint them ending up insinuating in one way or another homosexual nature of their relationship. It clearly was not intended but I appreciate this part since I view their relationship in this light (goes without saying). The other good part for me personally was the way author painted Theo and Philip mirroring their fathers’. The sheer weight of his parents legacy Burr carried on his shoulders, constantly encountering people that expected certain things from him, certain line of behaviour. Desperate wish of Alexander to prove himself, constantly dealing with a feeling of inadequacy. Fear of Theo that she’s nothing without her father. All very familiar, right? All of this is good for a book, I have to admit. But that’s genuinely upsetting how many objectively bad things in it.

1. First problem for me is misogyny which surprised me not a little considering pretty feminist views of Burr for his time. Just imagine. A guy who stated that he wants to prove that women have souls. Man who stated simply and outright that women are as capable to study as men. The one who stated that women at least equal with men, even superior in some instances. Man who lived in 18th century. And you, a woman from 21st century decides that to paint one specific woman special you need to put literally every other women down. This is exactly how the book starts. With her painting other women in a salon as cruel dumb bullies from 00s comedies. Come on. This must be so embarrassing. Especially since she keeps trying to give you a feminist narrative after it. We know Theo was special but you don’t need to make other women look like shit to show it, I promise. It makes all your other narrative choices in this direction look stupid.

2. The whole narrative of Hamilton being a good guy, Burr being a bad one is over-simplistic and boring. it’s 2021, most of the sources are available for free, you can actually create an interesting story without spitting on graves of so many people at once and it would be original and pleasurable to read. I’ve been doing my reading on Burr for a while and frankly speaking I’m gonna get ibs if I see another bland story about him being immoral piece of crap, hungry for power and full of vengeance. I’m not saying he was a saint, god help me, far from it but you could have actually bothered to show him anything but weak, manipulative and cruel. Trust me all that you can think of Cheetham has done before you. And he has done it better. Not to mention Alexander was a quite complex person, with his extremely annoying traits, insecurities and cravings that lead him to be a person he was. Long story short he was an ass and everyone who have read his letters know it. His contemporaries knew it. One of his friends didn’t know what to say on his funerals because “he was vain and opinionated”, “said to be opposed to duelling but he has fallen in a duel”. I know that author obviously tried to take a common route and please fan base of the musical (nothing wrong with it in principal) and it costed Hamilton his entire personality somehow.

3. And to the main problem for me now. And this is the part that drove me insane and ruined my mood for a whole time I’ve been reading it except for small moments of Hamilton and Burr being their usual dumb selves. The main problem is the way Lori portrayed the whole relationship between Theo and her father. The worst thing I’ve seen in a few month and I read passage about Thomas Jefferson’s masturbation a few weeks ago. She completely missed the mark here. Reminded me of My Theodosia, pieces of which I saw a few times. This is the situation when a person has no clue what they’re talking about and with each word make situation worse and worse. The whole time I’ve been reading the novel in question I had flashbacks to all their letters and interactions. They were two people who basically lived in each other’s pocket, who were so close because of their loss, who stuck to each other, desperately at times. I agree that if Theo was in any position to have some personal space it would have been better because it’s in people’s nature to need a brake and more freedom but this is a field I’ll die on, Aaron Burr wasn’t this terrible person Goldstein portrayed him as and he definitely wasn’t this terrible father for Theo. Yes, he definitely had problems with control (most of them did really) and he did depended on her a lot. But there’s no way that after reading their correspondence or his diaries you’ll end up thinking he was so deeply egoistical and cared only about his well being at his daughter’s expense. I kept thinking about this passage from his diary when he had to sell his belongings to survive his stay in Europe and he started selling coins he bought for his grandson and small little things he bought for Theo’s amusement. How he “kissed” these things he was going to sell “and begged her thousands pardons”. The way they were searching for each other in desperate times. These small little moments of affection that you can see in their letters. There’s nothing right with this whole part of the narrative, the same way there’s nothing right with the idea that Burr would have said that his daughter is the only woman who can actually be equal to men, the same way there’s nothing right with the idea of him burning her work and selling her to Alston solely for his benefit. Never in my miserable life you’ll be able to make me believe that Aaron would have hurt his sweet special daughter he adored so damn much. There’re many things I can handle calmly in fiction but this part of their biographies isn’t the one from the list.

4. Gampy is a child of Philip Hamilton? Yeah, sure, let’s bring an innocent child into this fever dream, why not.

Can’t resist but to compare this novel with The Amorous Intrigues and Adventures of Aaron Burr by Unknown author. it’s the 19th century piece of writing. Quite bad, no one really worked on this one. Very simple and low quality porn, it’s clear that it was written by a man and that the guy have never made woman come in his life. And somehow I think this book is much better despite the fact it portrayed Burr in rather unflattering way. The reason is that this book doesn’t really try to mask its real nature. It’s a small story you can’t take seriously no matter how much you try to and it’s actually quite entertaining and funny. Here we have a novel that tries so bad to pass as empowering story about 18th century lady and Romeo and Juliet type of romance between characters and ends up being a poor written story that gives you nothing new from the story’s perspective and just thrives on popularity of the musical. Such a waste of paper.

[fezcosbitch]

JJ MAYBANK IMAGINE:

PASSION AND WILD REGRET 2

After a few requests, here’s the second part to passion and wild regret

you can read part 1 here

if the link doesn't work please tell me! x

I hope you enjoy ❤️

You can request if you want x

Warnings: Angst, hella angst. Also the pogues (kie) are rude in this one like...RUDE. Reader is confrontational and not gonna lie, i’m here for it, like I wish I could do this. also if you like Kie... you about to not like Kie, shes a bit off the rails, mega jealous ex here.

All feedback’s welcome, as long as its not mean or rude 💙

So yeah, hopefully you enjoy❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 2:57 when i woke up the following morning, or evening, and i had absolutely no clue what to  do with myself. I had an immense headache, and a deep pain in my heart. How could they do that? say that? You had been there for them all, through everything. Yet somehow they decide to say all that about you. You were there for Kie when she was at her lowest point, you found her in the bathrooms with Sarah, yet when Sarah left, you stayed, and she never saw it. When John B felt like he would never fit in, and you were the only one (apart from JJ) who stuck by him. Or pope, who, for preparation for his college interview wanted someone to revise with so he wouldn’t be lonely for hours on end, and when everyone opted to surf and sun tan instead of help him, you were the one to stay behind and assist him in his studies, while you could’ve been outside in the summer, tanning and surfing. And  then JJ, the person who undoubtedly hurt you the most. You were there for him all the time. Throughout all the beatings his dad gave him. And all the angry times he almost threw his life away by getting arrested. You saved him from so much, and yet he repays you by saying you’re too much for him, and not worth him.

You couldn’t stand having these thoughts festering around in your mind, so decided that the best thing would be to confront the pogues, and ask why they thought what they did. You hopped in your car and drove over to the chateau, ready to either make or break all your supposed friendships.

Pulling up to the chateau, You saw all the pogues sitting around the porch, talking about something you couldn’t hear. After you’ve stepped out your car, you slam the door shut and lock it, as all the pogues heads turn to look at you. JJ immediately gets up and heads towards you, while the rest of the pogues stand up behind him.

“oh baby I-” JJ started, tears brimming in his eyes already just wanting to apologize over and over again. “don’t even JJ, don’t even start” you said , shaking your head at him “I-” he tried again desperate for you to hear what he wanted to say. “NO JJ, NO. You don’t get to speak over me ok? none of you do. I cant believe you guys i mean, how dare you. I’ve done nothing but stick by you! all of you! yet you repay me like this? wow, Thanks guys I really appreciate that yeah. Just, I can’t believe all of you.” You quickly let out, looking at all of them

“I DIDN’T AGREE WITH THEM BABY I SWEAR” JJ bursts out, desperate for you to forgive him. “what?” you question, immediately wanting to know if this is true. “ I-I-I don’t know what you heard but I never agreed to what they said,I would never, please baby believe me, I know you’ve done so much for me, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, I argued fully with them all night, I never once agreed, please take me back.” JJ begged, now directly in front of you grasping onto your hands. “is this true?” you asked the rest of the pogues behind him, desperate to find out if it was true or not, desperately wanting someone on your side. All the pogues solemnly nodded, proving to you that JJ did in fact argue against his friends. You looked him dead in the eye “of course i’ll take you back idiot, i kind of stormed of halfway through, didn’t get to hear what you said” you told him smiling through your tears of joy due to knowing that JJ did in fact fight for you. you quickly take him in your arms and hold him tight, “I’m so sorry” you whispered, knowing it must of been hard for him to read the letter you left him. “It’s ok” he whispered back, lightly kissing your shoulder. In that moment you both knew you were never going to let go of each other again, and that if needed, you’d swim entire oceans to be together. 

In all of that chaos you had forgotten the pogues behind you, who you initially came here for. Breaking out of the hug between you and JJ, you turn to face them with all your pent up anger ready to be unleashed, and knowing JJ was safely with you, and prepared to go to the end of the earth with you, you felt ready to take on whatever your ‘friends’ say to you. 

“What about you guys then?” you started off. “What was that all about? all the ‘Y/ns not good enough for you’, and the ‘she’ll only bring you down’ what was all that?” you questioned looking around at all three of them “Its our honest thoughts” Kie spoke up, making you turn to look at her. “really?” you questioned, cocking one eyebrow. “yeah” she responded, crossing her arms. “boys?” you asked, wanting to see if they agreed. John B was the first to nod his head, almost instantly, and pope slowly after, agreeing with his statement. “wow... All my friends hate me.” you whistled, slowly coming to the full realization. JJ grasped your hand, to remind you that he was there for you. “We don’t hate you y/n... we just hate you and JJ being together” John B backed Kiara up, acting as if it was the most obvious thing ever. “why bro? why can’t you just be happy for us?” JJ questioned from behind you, genuinely curious “ because bro, Shes a bad influence. She doesn’t care bro, not about you, us, anyone man why can’t you see that? sure shes cool and stuff and shes a fun friend but that’s all she should ever be” John B ranted. “ What the fuck bro? All of you think that? wow. So everything I’ve ever done for you guys is washed away by some dumb mistakes right? I do some drugs and SHIT I’m the worst person in the world right? everything I’ve ever done forgotten because of some things I do when I’m drunk right?” you questioned all at once, trying to show them how stupid they were being. “Yes” Kiara responds. “Yes because we don’t know what else you’ll do. First it’s molly, next its what? METH?” Kiara stressed. “You’re unreliable, and God knows what you could get JJ into.” she finished. “wha- Kie why are you SO scared about what JJ could get into man? Like what?  I’d never hurt him, or do anything like that, I love him man, so what are you so worried about?” you ranted, confused by Kies emotions. Of course you understood her worry for her friends. but she didn’t say that about John B, or Pope, so why JJ? “BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM! YOU NEVER DID” Kie fully lets out. Ah, you understood now. “You jealous Kiara?” you questioned? “you want JJ yeah? want him to be with you, so now everything I do apparently is more of a reason for him to be with you yeah?” you finally said, having worked out why she was so angry. Kie and the rest of the pogues were silent at your discovery. “wait, what about you guys?” you questioned the two boys. “well uhh, Kie kinda told us you may have cheated on J”

your jaw dropped. 

“THE FUCK KIE? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” you were shocked at the lies she was spilling. “ WELL YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM ANYWAY, THE MORE PEOPLE THAT SEE THAT MAYBE THE MORE HE’LL REALIZE IT, WHO CARES IF THERE’S A COUPLE OF LIES” all of you stood there shocked at what Kie just said. “ the fuck-” JJ started, shocked out of his mind that Kie would say something like that. “ I can’t even. Don’t talk to me Kiara, don’t even approach me until i say so, oh and sort out your major jealousy problem, it’s not cute honey” you said while getting in your car, waiting for JJ to enter in the passenger side. After J got in, you started the car and rolled down your window, “oh and I forgive you boys, i understand why you did it, so like don’t worry. Sort it out Kie, love” you sarcastically grinned and waved to her as you drove away.

“Jesus Christ” you said to JJ “you know I’d never cheat on you don’t you?” you questioned just to make sure. “no of course i know you wouldn’t, its just, the fuck was that with Kie like, what even?” JJ responded. “Honestly, I don’t even know. I forgive John B and Pope cause like, obviously, they were lied to and lead to believe all that but like. How can she be so jealous man?” you questioned, genuinely curious about how one person could be so jealous of another. “I don’t know baby, I don’t know” J responded while kissing your hand.

even though you were away from it all, one question played on your mind...why would she do that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah... Kie did that.

What were your thoughts? Please tell me ! 💙

Part 3 anyone? If so please tell me x

Sorry for the long wait x

And also sorry if it’s bad ❤️

But yeah that was that how do you feel about it?

All feedbacks welcome as long as it’s not rude or mean💙

But yeah, cya

People who wanted to be tagged :

@mrsmaybank18 (Wouldn’t let me tag you :( )

@captainwinterwriter @ifilwtmfc @hurricane-abigail

@thenextteen

[exquisitley-obsessed]

The Dinosaur and the Vampire Part Two (carlisle cullen x reader)

Request: hi can you do a one shot for Twilight where the reader is best friends with Bella and is there at the car crash in the first movie, they go to hospital and that’s where the reader meets Carlisle, really fluffy, thanks

Word Count: Long

Pairings: Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Warnings: nothing

A/N: This is part two of this request because it was so highly requested!! Thank you so much for the love and support!! I’m back re-reading the twilight series so if you have any requests just send them my way<3

MASTLERLIST

“I’ll see if we can sort this thing out.”

It was the last thing he had said to her with a small and yet reassuring smile before he turned and walked through those pale doors and apparently, y/n’s life. She hadn’t seen Dr Cullen since the day of the accident. Hell, she had barely seen his adopted children. Spring was warming into summer, the sun glittering down through the immense greenery and the Cullens were never around when it was sunny. 

Bella and Edward were getting closer with every passing day. He had taken over their morning ride together, stopping by in his silver Volvo to pick Bella up, every so often flashing a smile at y/n as she climbed into her own less flashy car. Edward was kind enough to leave Bella to y/n after school, considering they both finished with gym. It was precious time for the pair as they recounted their day and filled each other in on gossip, none of it proving to be that interesting. Well, apart from the budding romance between Bella and Edward.

Despite y/n’s secret complaints every time Bella disappeared from a study session or cancelled a trip to Port Angeles, she knew her prejudice came from no genuine malice toward Edward. After all, he was lovely. Since the day of the accident his attitude towards y/n had done a 180, before he had never so much as spared her a glance and now he smiled at her in the corridor, even sat next to her in English, the only class they shared together. He made little conversation, most of it was inquiring after Bella but it was nice to have made a new friend.

It just seemed unfair. They way he had spoken in the hospital made it seem as if something would happen, perhaps an apology gift or an invitation to their mansion up in the woods. Something. Edward’s cordial behaviour was pleasant but in no way satisfactory. Y/n wished in every spare moment to see the doctor again, and when she wasn’t wishing to see him she was imagining what it would be like to see him. Maybe he’d pick the Cullen’s up after school or maybe there would be some big event in town which everyone went to. It was a silly thought since the Cullens were rarely grouped with ‘everyone’. So her mind of drifted to the idea of herself being injured, dragged into hospital only to have his face, angelic and flushed in light hovering above her.

“Stupid.” She muttered under her breath, dismissing the thought instantly. Bella threw her a glance, “Forgot to carry the one.” Y/n lied as she smiled and looked back down at her barely touched maths homework. All this pining and obsessive thinking made her feel so little and insignificant. She felt like a student with a crush on their teacher, and in many ways she was. Every time his name or ivory face rolled into her mind a small voice in her head protested.

She hated that voice. It was the one that reminded her she was only a junior in high school. The one that mocked her, told her that he was an adult with a job, a medical job that must have demanded a couple of years of study pushing him into his late twenties. What doctor has time for a high school student with a crush. A crush that was so overt she couldn’t even talk to Bella about it. Bella who had quickly grown into becoming her best friend, Bella who was dating Carlisle’s adopted son, Bella who was currently packing her things into her bag with haste.

“Where are you going?” Y/n hated the small whine in her voice and tried to play it off with a smile. She wanted to be happy for Bella and Edward and deep down she was, they were just a reminder that she was getting nowhere with her own crush and, most likely, never would.

“I’m running up to Edward’s to pick up his Bio questions. I forgot about them and he offered to help.” She smiled, oblivious to y/n’s anguish.

They were camped out in Bella’s room, a strange sounding CD playing in the background as they finished off their schoolwork. It had become a bit of a ritual to spend time with each other doing insignificant things. Bella was nice like that, never desperate to go anywhere or really do anything, happy to stay inside. Plus Charlie liked having y/n in the house, he was always asking her questions about her parents, grateful Bella was able to make such a good friend so soon.

“M’kay.” Y/n followed in suit, shoving her unfinished problems into her bag. This was her cue to leave. “How is Edward by the way?”

“He’s...fine?” Bella smiled wryly through her lashes, “Why are you asking?”

“Oh, it’s just, you always fill me in on your gossip but never actually tell me how he is.” Y/n smiled back as they both padded down the stairs.

“He’s fine. I think. His family’s a bit nervous about us actually.”

“Oh.” Y/n tried to make her voice sound as inconspicuous as possible, hiding her feral craving for more information on the Cullens.

“Well...it’s mostly just Rosaline, you know the blonde one.”

“The gorgeous one.”

“They’re all gorgeous.” Bella sighed.

“You got that right.” Y/n muttered under her breath. Pale hair melting into pale skin - the human equivalent of snow.

“Anyways,” Bella sighed not hearing her, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yup!” Y/n called over her shoulder as she hopped the fence between their two houses, pulling the keys out of her pocket.

A loud engine revved distantly followed by the squealing of car tires as a silver blur flashed down the street before halting in front of them. Edward. He was out of the car quickly, a broad grin stretched across his cheeks. He was smiling at Bella, of course. Y/n was happy for them, smiling to herself as she pushed her keys into the door.

“Hey y/n!” His voice was both silken and broad.

“Hey!” Y/n spun around shooting him a grin, “How are you, I haven’t seen you for a while.” It was nice now that she was able to actually carry a conversation with him, that they weren’t just strangers.

“Yeah weather’s been nice, Carlisle took us up this trail in the mountains. It was beautiful.” Edward said his name so casually and yet the word stunned her for a minute. It had been so long since she had actually heard it said aloud.

“Oh,” She murmured, her breath somewhat stuck in her throat. His eyes were careful, assessing her despite his broad welcoming smile. “Well you owe me,” Y/n relaxed back into the conversation, “I’ve been taking over Bella runs to school.” His laugh was loud and rare.

“Hey!” Bella half-protested tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, “I didn’t realise I was such a burden to you guys.”

“Aw, it’s okay.” Y/n smiled, her keys feeling slippery in her fingers, “You make up for it with good conversation.” Y/n turned back to the door, mentally preparing for her night of microwaved meals and algebra.

“Y/n,” Edward’s voice surprisingly called out, “I’m running Bella up to mine for some biology questions but I wouldn’t mind if you came. I’ve got that first edition Hardy I was telling you about in English.”

The offer was most shocking to Bella who turned, utterly stunned, to gawk at her boyfriend. Y/n felt as though she had just been slapped as her heart lurched, sure her and Edward were chatty but the fact he was now inviting her to his house - the Cullens house. She did a quick mental calculation. On one hand she was invading Bella’s privacy with Edward but it was him who offered the invitation, on the other hand, well she might just see him. If it were anyone else y/n would have politely declined and been happy with soggy potatoes and Pythagoras, but she felt completely and utterly compelled to accept. The mere chance that he might be there in that house was enough for y/n to waltz her way into the back of Edward’s silver Volvo.

***

Edward drove like a maniac and somehow, that made sense. Y/n gripped the edge of her seat as she glanced out the window focusing on the never ending blur of blue and green. The conversation was casual and somewhat stilted but y/n couldn’t even try to care, her mind was already there in the Cullens house. She pictured popping into Edward’s room to grab the book and bumping into him, or the scenario where he was in the kitchen, or what about seeing him as he comes home from work, wearing the same pale shirt and tie.

Y/n hated how obsessive her mind was. But it genuinely felt as though she couldn’t help it, as though she had no control over her thoughts whatsoever. A small knot had twisted its way into existence in her gut and what was worse, they had already arrived.

“You guys can stay for a bit,” Edward got out the car heading into what can only be described as a mansion. “I’m pretty sure everyone’s out.” These seemed to ease something in Bella but had the opposite effect on y/n. Trying not to think about it y/n was quick behind Edward and Bella who had loosely interlocked their fingers as they walked in.

Taking her time, y/n absorbed what was probably the most beautiful house she had ever seen. Wood and glass flowing from wall to wall in eccentric shapes and patterns. Artwork y/n would never understand slung across the walls. A grand piano, smooth like silk displayed in the corner

“Oh, y/n.” Edward called her back to reality, “I’m pretty sure I left the book in the kitchen, I was going to bring it to you tomorrow.” Y/n was taken aback.

“Wow, thanks Edward. You really didn’t have to.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, “You’re free to get it, Kitchen’s just up the stairs and to the right.” Y/n smiled at him gratefully before heading up the stairs. Partly to leave Bella and Edward in peace, partly to admire the home interrupted. She took her time going to the kitchen, admiring the way the Cullens lived. Of course they lived somewhere like this.

Once in the kitchen, y/n spotted a worn copy of ‘Tess of the d’Urbervilles’ waiting for her. Picking it up she thumbed through the first few pages noticing small faded scribbles in pencil - it would be nice to have a look in Edward’s mind.

“Y/n.” 

All he said was her name and yet she knew in an instant who it was. Snapping the book shut and spinning around, there he was. His trousers were dark and tucked into them was a crisp shirt, white as skin and unbuttoned slightly, the sleeves rolled up to display his forearms. They looked like marble, pale and stony and completely solid. His silver hair was swept away from his face, his eyes a golden brown similar to Edward’s. “How did you...” he trailed off, his voice soft and distant, not a hint of anger.

“Sorry Carlisle,” Edward appeared out of thin air behind her. She took note of how he never called him ‘dad’. “I thought everyone was out. I brought y/n and Bella up to collect some things for school.” The two Cullen’s stared intensely at each other, something passing between them in that look.

“I’m sorry,” Y/n blurted after a moment, feeling as though she had intruded, “I’ve got what I came for,” She held up the book, “I can head back now.” She attempted a half-smile not meeting Carlisle’s eyes.

“It’s fine.” He said almost too quickly. His voice quiet, meditated. “You’re no bother to me.” The way he spoke, it was so elegant and unlike anyone in town. “I see you two are friends now after the accident.” Edward and y/n shared a glance.

“It was no big problem really.” Y/n felt herself melting into his presence, now more confident to steal looks at his unwavering eyes, fixed on her. “Just a scratch.”

“Still,” A smile had warmed into his stony cheeks, evidently comfortable himself as he busied himself with a folder already fanned out on the counter top, “Edward’s behaviour was unacceptable. He did apologise?” Carlisle leaned on his forearms, his smile widening.

“Yes...I did.” Edward groaned, y/n couldn’t help but giggle. He then turned to her, “You should’ve heard the verbal lashing I got when I came home.”

“Edward.” Carlisle warned, his smile dropping disapprovingly. Edward held y/n’s gaze for a moment before slowly reaching Carlisle's stare, again something seemed to pass between the two. “Did you say Bella was here?” Carlisle swiftly changed the topic.

“Yeah, I best go find her.” Edward added, the two easing the tension with expertise. “Before she falls down two flights of stairs and through a window or something.” He muttered.

“Wouldn’t put it past her.” Y/n agreed.

“Me neither.” Carlisle added distantly causing y/n to flash a smile at him. Edward bounded out of the room, distantly calling Bella’s name as he began his search. “Good book.” Carlisle commented.

“Yeah when Edward said I could borrow his first edition I was in shock to be honest.” Making conversation was disturbingly easy.

“You can take anything you want from our library, it’s full of first editions.” Carlisle said without thinking, “It’s sort of a...hobby. For us.” The way he said ‘us’ made y/n shiver, he knew that him and his family were exclusive, outsiders. Us and them, and y/n couldn’t figure out what side she was on.

“I have a feeling this one will take me a while but thanks. I’ll keep your offer in mind.” She smiled without thinking.

“It’s nice to see Edward’s making friends. We’ve been here a few years now and he’s only just branching out.”

“Well, ‘making friends’ is a bit of an overstatement,” She leaned back against the counter top, comfortable, “Technically me and Bella are the only two people he’s talked to outside of his own family. And I’m pretty sure he’s only putting up with me because I live next to Bella, that and your...verbal lashing.”

“It wasn’t that bad, honestly.” Carlisle chuckled to himself.

“Thank you though, nonetheless.” He eyed her carefully, his golden orbs flitting across her face and, unless she was mistaken, for a moment they glanced down her body.

“Your cut cleaned up perfectly.” He spoke into the silence, “No scarring at all.”

“I don’t think I would’ve minded a scar. At least it would be a conversation starter.” He laughed, it was softer than Edward’s, more rounded and from deep within his chest.

“Ah yes, then you could tell everyone about the time you walked into a car door.”

“Technically, I think the car door walked into me.” He laughed again and y/n’s chest swelled with pride. She was doing it, holding a conversation with him at ease. “It feels like ages ago now,” She pondered aloud, “And it’s really how Edward and Bella met. Funny that.”

“Yes.” He agreed, his eyes holding hers a second too long before he turned back to his paperwork. “Well,” He cleared his throat, “Best get back to business.” Almost like clockwork Edward and Bella appeared at the stairs, giggling to themselves about some inside joke.

“Yeah uh, I’ll see you around.” Y/n shot him a tentative smile. He didn’t say anything in response but his eyes were conveying an emotion she couldn’t quite comprehend. She already knew that look was going to stick with her.

“You ready to head back y/n?” Edward asked as he sidled into the kitchen. From behind him Bella shot y/n an apologetic look as if she were sorry for leaving her with Carlisle. How little she knew.

“Of course.” Y/n smiled at Edward.

“Okay, just head down to the car I’ll be down in a sec.” With one last smile at Carlisle y/n skipped a little to meet up with Bella before the pair headed downstairs. It wasn’t until they were far out the house and near the car that Bella started a conversation.

“Sorry for leaving you there.” She half-smiled.

“Don’t be.” Y/n tried not to smile too much.

“Carlisle’s lovely isn’t he?” The question caught y/n off-guard, it took her a minute to realise Bella was speaking of him as a fatherly-figure.

“Uh, yeah.” Y/n stammered, a pink flush spreading across her cheeks. Bella noticed and went to say something when she realised.

“Y/n, your book?”

“What?” Y/n was confused again before realising, looking down her lap was empty. Completely devoid of all 19th century classical text. “Shit, be back in a sec.”

And with that she was out, jumping up the house steps two at a time. When she was in the house though she slowed down again, afraid of the mere thought of falling and damaging anything within the house. As she moved through the house she became aware of somewhat raised voices.

“What game are you playing?” It was Carlisle’s voice, not angry, not anything. It was completely monotonous. It was wrong to eavesdrop but it felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand it was rude to eavesdrop, on the other she was already stuck behind the corner of the kitchen and had no idea how to walk into the kitchen naturally, especially since the conversation had already begun and the Cullens would know that she must’ve heard some of it.

“I’m not doing anything.” Edward’s voice was soft as well. The pair arguing without arguing.

“What you’re doing is dangerous.”

“You’re so happy for me and Bella. Every time I enter a room all I can hear it you’re praise of approval. Why can’t you let yourself be happy.”

“Edward-”

“I’m being serious.”

“I don’t need this right now I’ve got paperwork.”

“If we were to live life your way you’d quite literally be doing paperwork for eternity.”

“The smell Edward. Even I have only so much restraint.” Whatever she was expecting to hear, it wasn’t that. Y/n was brutally offended. Surely, surely he wasn’t talking about her. Mortified, y/n tugged her shirt to her nose and inhaled deeply. It smelt like her mother’s washing detergent and y/n’s cheap perfume from Christmas. The statement had knocked her so off balance she wasn’t quite aware of Edward stalking in her direction. Hurriedly, she paced down three steps before walking up them as if it were the first time.

“Y/n.” Edward exclaimed loud enough for Carlisle to hear. Y/n looked at him, trying to mask whatever emotion she was feeling.

“Sorry. I forgot the book.” She smiled, hoping her eyes didn’t give her away. Edward said nothing, just disappeared and returned with the Hardy, gently passing it to her before leading her downstairs. Did he know she was listening?

The drive home was silent.

next part

requests open <3

Tag list:

@itsshelbygates​

@quixoticcat​

@pluckastarfromthesky​

@flirtygerty​

@sadbean18​

@nialeesato​

@the-fall-guardian-fox​

@thechangingcolourswithinthewoods​

@lazy-girl82​

@bvbwestfall​

@badedum-badaboom​

@originalsoulcollector​

[maruzzewrites]

Every breath you take. - 10

cw for a bit of gore in this one.

Driving with tension in your arms and legs proved to be dreadful, the anxiety of not knowing what was happening to your darling felt like a sharp pain that disappeared at intervals, only to return more intense and barbed a few seconds later.

It was always a possibility, but never a reality, the fact that one of them would have enough of your obvious love for someone else, someone better than them and that they couldn’t beat with simple courting or vile obsession. Your fiance was an obstacle, even when not in the picture as your husband-to-be, and you wanted to vomit at the mere thought of being the cause of his problems with them.

Your drive, while filled with the desire to be short and quick, was slower than usual. No cars passed you on your way home, no one directed towards the city from the same direction of the house. Even when someone was behind you, you would check through the rear-view mirror to see who was driving. Men, women, old and young, with families or friends, alone or someone in the backseat; no one seemed to match the physiognomy of those men.

At some point, the anxiety grew to the point of being unable to even take gulps of breath. You were driving exceptionally slow, slower than needed, and cars upon cars would honk at you or yell at you from open windows. But you didn’t care, you wanted this. You waited for them to surpass you and give you a better view inside their cars to check thoroughly, methodically, and then switch to the next vehicle in line.

At some point, the terrible strain on your body and mind of hypervigilance made you almost steer to the side of the road. And you had to stop, pull over, and let your limbs tremble and shake with more violence than they ever did in your life. Despite your need to relax, you found it impossible to control your eyes, raising every time a car passed by.

The answer was always the same, no one was following you. Nowhere those men could be seen. Yet, it didn’t help the hollowing fear enveloping your actions, making you lean into the window to watch closer, and closer. You spent like that a good hour, you assumed, but you couldn’t estimate an exact time because you didn’t check the clock of your car when you stopped. The sun shifted, so did the shadows, so you could only presume.

You wondered if you could try again. You picked up your phone from the seat, gripping it with more force than necessary, and you could imagine it breaking between your tense fingers. Cancelling any possibility to call for help, but getting rid of their torment at home. The way your entire life was a puzzle of choices that carried both good and bad consequences, always walking hand in hand, always ready to hit you when you least expect it.

If there was the probability to have something your way, there was also something ready to push you back into the dark corner and keep you there, one inch closer to the wall than before. The negatives were always too great to even be brightened by the vague light of positivity an action could bring. So you stopped holding the phone so strongly, felt your hand ache less as tension left the muscles, traveling back up your arm, in your shoulder, all over your body. Settled in your chest, and you felt almost like your lungs couldn’t contract properly.

You dialed your darling’s number slowly, keeping an eye on the road and any direction that could provide them with easy access to you. The ring in your ear came once, twice, then you heard his voice confirming he was listening. Cordialities, but immediately he questioned if you needed help somehow, and it was implicit he would run to help you however he could.

And he did. Even if he was still away from you, still waiting for your answer, he really did ease your mind. It was only temporary relief, you knew, but your mind held the possibility to feel at peace for once for dear life. Because it really felt like you needed it to keep going, or everything would come down crumbling around you. Having blood on your hands, on your conscience.

You could hear your own voice shake, struggling to crawl out of your throat, but you managed to let him know you were well and you just needed to hear a familiar voice, that you were glad to be talking to him. He didn’t question you, but you could detect a hint of wonder and worry in his next words.

He was in class, he was doing his last bits of project before the exam session. And that made you understand how much you lost in those months, when you would face this part of the year with a bit of loneliness because of his attention to studying. Soon enough, he would have a degree and maybe, just maybe, you could ask him to move away from this city. Move as up north as possible, maybe even leave Italy altogether.

There, you could be happy and shielded by those monsters. In a cozy little cabin, without anyone bothering or threatening you both, ready to pick up your life where you left it. The fantasy in your head only made the return to reality even worse, a drop from a high too sweet. That was how you were reduced, to exorcize and refuse any attempt at happiness only because the cold feeling growing in your chest was crushing to bear.

You made small talk with your former fiance, but he figured soon enough you weren’t in the mood to speak too much. You were really forcing yourself, not wanting to bother him more than necessary, but he reassured you that he would pick up the phone later. He was about to go to another class anyway, the last for the day. By the time he would be on his walk back home, you would have probably been in your room for a while.

You said your goodbye, and then there was only silence. Before your brain could regress into the compulsive inspection of whoever passed by, you started the engine again and drove off into Naples. You were uncharacteristically slow, and drivers would continue to honk and yell at you to do faster, but you wouldn’t dare when your mind was as fogged and overworked as that moment.

When you arrived under your apartment building, you turned off the car and waited in the new stillness. You slumped down, curled up almost, as much as the narrow space in the vehicle would allow. Despite taking this defensive stance, your ears and your eyes were on guard; to notice anything, a step or a voice, a figure or an outfit, anything out of the ordinary that could signal their presence around you.

When enough time passed and you were feeling yourself spiral into darker and darker places, you stumbled out of the car and were careful, like you often did now when returning home, to check every corner of the shared inner space. Not as obviously and thoroughly as you wanted, because otherwise you would seem suspicious and, in the eventuality they were actually observing you, they wouldn’t be as convinced about your changed feelings.

Everything in your life had to be orchestrated around their actions, their thoughts and the possibility of both of those things, because at this point your very existence was put on hold. It didn’t belong to you until you could shake off those chains for good, and you couldn’t wait for the moment they would turn on each other or spit you out after chewing you into dust.

Even as you climbed the stairs, you were jittery. You had to take several attempts at opening the door between them slipping from your fingers or you would miss the keyhole due to the shaking of your hands, still too tense. You even let the door slam with how clumsy you became with the electricity shooting from one end to the other of your brain, too many emotions and information traveling your exhausted head.

Rest called upon you, the sweet embrace of your bed and the secure bubble of sleep, where you could be absent from the world, simulate a reality where nothing ever happened. But you couldn’t retire in your room just yet, you had to go through the motions of a simple and normal life: shower, talk to your family, have dinner, and some downtime. A perfectly average evening for the least average of lives, you assumed.

When your mother was busy watching frivolous programs filled with mundanity and pettiness, you declared how tired you were and wished her a goodnight. It was bitter how seeing those examples of ordinary events, for how much everyone acted as if their problems were so much bigger than reality, would leave an ache inside of you. You were turning into something you didn’t want to be, something filled with resentment and antipathy for anyone suffering less than you.

The ways those men’s influence snaked into your life to poison any aspect of it, how they managed to leave an indelible mark on your psyche and your mentality to the point you couldn’t even imagine how you were before; it hurt, it stung worse than you could put into words and thoughts.

They refined the smooth marble surface with sandpaper until it left nothing but edges and ruined colors, dull without possibility to restore it. You wanted to hope that you could come back from it all, repaint your skin with colors even brighter and even more beautiful, but the muted doom hanging over your head prevented you from keeping up those thoughts for long. The only positive note in the drone that became your life was the plan you were hatching, even if it would take you long enough for everyone else to forget about you and abandon you to fight for yourself.

And even then, what were you to do after? Beaten into a broken shell, ready to release the waste boiling inside and corroding the feet of those around you. If they wouldn’t leave you before those men were gone, they would after the fact: because you would shatter and have to put the pieces together, for no apparent reason to those outside.

Yet, you persevered. You had to, because the alternative was losing yourself. Losing friends and family could burn your soul, but not having one to begin with couldn’t allow you to build your life again. If they’re gone, one day, you would be free. And that meant the freedom to collapse, to be torn apart, to wail and cry until your throat was dry, but it would be your freedom.

You closed the door behind you as you thought. You had been in your mind so long those past months, you built a world made of horror and left everything else outside to be picked up on your way back, when everything would be alright. You laid on the bed with exhaustion cold on your skin, crushingly heavy on your bones.

You didn’t know the exact moment when you fell asleep, but you could swear you rested awake for several hours into the darkness and the silence. But for all you knew, you could have been dead to the world the moment your head touched the pillow, into something dull and aphonic that parodied the ease of sleep.

All you knew was that you were awakened by the filtering light pouring inside, warming you up into the spring air and the early summer notes it carried. You had a week of masks ahead of you, dense, impenetrable, but to endure to the best of your capabilities.

One day it was shopping with your mother, the other talking to friends. One evening it was going to meet family members you had neglected to visit, and the following morning you would walk around the beach to experience something long gone from your life. And every night, it was talking to your fiance and listening to him talk about his studies, forgetting about what your existence was and being everything you wanted to be again.

“What do you want to study?” He asked, once. And you stayed silent for a long time, indifferent to the way your mind couldn’t work on thinking about yourself as someone in a future that belonged to you. You could conjure the hope for it, overwork your spirit until you could put on a façade for everyone, but the concrete result of your plan and all its consequences were alien, distant, and nothing but the damned apple in the coils of a snake.

Your fiance asked again, you blinked the disbelief away. Or so you thought, because the words still wouldn’t come and your brain was failing you with violent rapidity. He wouldn’t suggest anything else, just wait and wait, and your head was a blank slate void of ideas in those seconds. When he assumed enough time had passed, he came to fix the situation a bit, “You remember when we talked about you going to university?”

You did remember, suddenly. You confirmed your memory and felt relief in his voice when he continued with his thought, “I wanted to know what you would like to study.”

You had to think about something, yet you couldn’t find a single spark of life that could guide you. You lost so much time to demented tormentors that you couldn’t even consider the possibility of pondering on that question. Your fiance did propose, long ago, to support you through school, and you remembered dreamingly waiting for him as you admired the building where he took classes.

When you still felt a bit more control, when autonomy wasn’t something so foreign and unfamiliar yet. Maybe that was the start of the end for you, when their presence started to spill even more into your mundanity that it replaced it. When you started to think about them from morning to evening, even when you were far away from their cove.

You stammered, he noticed. He didn’t fault you for the indecisiveness, as he explained, because he was nervous the months before his enrollment as well, unsure if he would pick the right path for himself. However, he didn’t care if you would change your mind once, twice, three times in your first year; you would need time to settle into a future, because it had to fit you as you wanted, not as others demanded.

And despite the desire to have everyone else shut up about their normalcy, so that you wouldn’t be reminded of your plight, you accepted what came from him. Maybe it was because he knew what he was saying and he was choosing his words with attention, with all the concern of someone intent on staying. He was taking an oath, with light words and solemn intent, and you were conflicted between your desire to cave to your need for comfort and your crave for his safety.

But what was the point in demanding from him to forget you along with everyone else? Loneliness and lack of options were deadly in this battle, and even if he was merely a man with no connections and no power, it was still soothing the way his voice could mend your soul and calm your mind. It made you hold that mask with less belligerence, cracking it less between your fingers.

You spent the hours of that evening talking about faculties, classes and possibilities, and your heart could beat again in that atmosphere. Made of risk, opportunity and the allure of everyday that you lost like sand between the fissures open along your body.

It was corrosive, scraping along the burning flesh and leaving tears in its wake, but you wanted it. You wanted that ache, you wanted to feel the white-hot anger along with the fear. You wanted to hate them for what they were stealing from you, or you may end up forgetting how to feel that resentment. There were times when it melted, escaped the confines of your brain, and you were left numb to their actions; and you didn’t want that, you desired the depths of hatred in your soul, the disgust and the anxiety, the pit under your feet as you walked.

And thinking about that lost future with your beloved, drawing the lines smudged by the side of your hand, it served you well in that intent. Because when he handed you a brink, it would fall, and leave the wall incomplete. Because when you were about to rebuild it, they were there to stomp on your hard work and tear down anything else.

Menaces, menaces, there on Earth to torment you until your mind would break and your muscles would give in. And even the soothing sound of your darling’s voice wouldn’t shoo away the whispering enveloping your being, their voices echoing, thundering, bouncing on a wall, on another, splattering on the floor and leaving behind a mess.

It was as if something cracked, letting everything pour and flood the husk left behind by their attentive, meticulous carving. If you had to carry their scars, their markings, may they be reclaimed with the bile and the scalding blood levigating them. Until those men’s passage was nothing but a memory, and then nothing anymore.

You closed the call with the flames of rage licking at the edges of your body, burning you, burning their images. It sealed the pact you made with yourself, of enduring whatever stretch of torture you were left ahead of you. Freedom was your goal, however you would obtain it – be it death, be it abandonment.

That night, the first one in a while in which you wanted to be awake, you observed the sky with new eyes. Not hopeful, not resigned, but incensed and mad. And your quest may be doomed, you may be the pitiful man screaming to the heavens and challenging those impossible to fight, but you needed it. You needed to find the motivation, the motion in your steps, and the force inside your performance.

Your workday came, the usual routine: get ready, take your car, drive to the house. Each moment was a bucket of gelid water over the fire you tried to preserve, with your own breath as fuel, the oxygen alimenting it to height you couldn’t even imagine before.

Your weapons were lousy, meager, worthless, and you hoped they would stay like that – because they weren’t to be used. But until you could, until that flame roared, you begged yourself to resist and fight with what you were given. If you did, you could return.

The day morphed between morning and afternoon, the men around you buzzed and pried. A request, a demand, nothing new and nothing odd. They continued to bother you for your entire stay, and you were ready to jump to attention. There was still rigidity in your steps, you had to summon all your willpower to even look them in the eyes, be cordial, act like you cared or like you even considered them.

Your fervor dimmed in their presence, returned to its glory in the few moments of calm you could make for yourself between one order and the other. Constant, always on your feet and never thinking too long, or you would lose your nerve and let it all slip away.

Your triumph was close, though. The door was a promise made by the end of the day, by the pink hues of the evening waiting beyond the threshold and down the road to your house. You survived another day, you survived with your spirit intact and still burning, even if it was but the minute sparkle of a match struggling to keep alive.

Only a handful of steps separated you from the first victory you could consider your own, the first drop in the vase after the drought. An outcome to keep close to your chest, let it warm your poor limbs, guard and shield with jealous frenzy from the tendril of those jackals. Yours, and only yours, digged up between your hands withered down to the naked bone.

But to that light, there was a shadow imposing itself from behind. It didn’t touch you, it didn’t demand, but you knew you had to stop when you acknowledged it; and it was aware of you knowing, because when your movements stopped, his started.

It was as if everything else fell down, into a void. It was you and it was Risotto, the only two being who ever existed. You breathed in, deep but controlled, to not alarm him and to feed that dying flame, those last ribbons of warmth deep inside your stomach. Air in, air out, slow as you could as Risotto arrived right in front of you.

Despite your knowledge about his involvement with the entire plot and obsession they had with you, you could hardly picture Risotto curved on his desk to watch picture after picture of you, listening to every hushed secret of yours the others were to confide him, scheming the next move and the future he wanted with you. But when those hollow eyes stared down at you like judgment was nigh, you could at least believe the demented corruption that mind held.

He bowed his head in pretend gratitude, in mocking politeness. Yet he was imperturbable, and cold, a glacier on your way to the sun on the horizon. His mouth was bringer of nothing, but misery; in that moment too, he could report nothing but foreboding omens, “Thank you. For everything, today.”

Each word was a pause, each syllable a meaning. Spoken with caution and with perfect delivery, an old actor basking into the applause of the public for his last exhibition. And like the bow to finally depart, Risotto’s arms raised and reached for you. Fangs ready to bite and tear the tender meat, leave it raw against the air.

He held you, more than a hug. It was a famished, desperate clawing at your soul to make it bleed, and bleed, and bleed dry. Head against his chest, calm heartbeat in your ears, drumming away against the membrane until it was as symbiotic as that of your mother the day you were born.

Your blood rushed to that rhythm, and the tide extinguished the last attempt to live on of that match. As if Risotto reached into the depths of your soul, and his fingertips closed around the head until the flame was suffocating around the lack of oxygen.

It ended there. Like every other time, you were left boneless and without yourself, between the arms of a man you didn’t want to see as human. Warm, and you hated it, that he was flesh and blood and brains and bones, that he was there and that he was breathing what you couldn’t gulp down as you were suspended between life and hell.

He left you shattering on the ground, wished you a good evening, and pushed you towards the door. The fragments breaking, hitting the floor, you on the carpets of that house. You looked behind into the hall, some of them there to watch the scene like critics, like judges, like birds of prey ready to hoard what you were leaving behind. You hoped with everything in you that those shards left cuts on their hands.

The drive back home started as badly as you could imagine: halfway, you had to pull over and double down to dry heave at the side of the road. Your throat contracting, releasing, tight and bound as your ribs felt like they were closing in to shield you further. On hands and knees on the dirty, long enough that someone stopped near your car to help you.

What could you do? How did you end up sobbing and step back from a stranger with concern deep inside their eyes, a hand on their phone ready to call for help? You begged, begged, down where you were. It was a simple, sudden illness that would disappear as soon as it came; you staggered on your feet, let them hold you up and leave you on your car seat.

After countless questions, to be sure you would be fine, they drove away. You watched the rear of their car pass, not before they slowed down near your position to check on you. Then silence that came after the asphalt was grinding under the wheels, cracking in the emptiness.

Only then, only in solitude, you fell apart piece by piece. Your head between your hands, between your knees, fingers tense and red for the strain to pull at your hair. The stress against your hairline, tugging once then twice, just to feel something else than the humiliating frustration and bottomless despair brought by that one, single embrace.

It took so little, so very little, and they could destroy any prospect or plan you wanted to build. For days took out of your life to pose as a monument, they came and raided and pillaged, left beaten earth under their feet and you to rebuild the incomplete ruins of what was left. Nothing, as usual, and each time the houses were a bit more crooked, a bit more bare, a bit more empty and useless against their attacks.

The problem was that, was it not? That you invited those barbaric acts inside your life, you didn’t stop and you couldn’t stop. You would have to endure invasion after invasion, in a lone effort of rebellion, unheard and unseen. You could do nothing to stop them efficiently, so you had to simply deal with the consequences and hope they found greener pastures.

However, you hated it with all your might. Because it was easy for them, it was impossible for you, and you deceived yourself in an everlasting instinct of seeking hope and reason to that chaos made of fear, impotence and resignation. An eternal struggle between wanting to keep that nature, that humanity behind a lock, but wanting to get rid of it to feel it pass and go, so that you would not be drowned anymore.

In your desperation, you truly wanted help once more. Who else could do so, if not the man who was there with you for the entire way. Sharing your pling, feeling it with you, your former fiance was a few keys away from you, in the palm of your hand. You dialed his number without thinking, with all the intention, as a second nature now that you could count on no one but him, and yourself, and whoever is beyond you looking down.

The line is hooked, it rings. You never noticed how long, resounding and echoing those sounds are, atonic and dragged to travel from one end of your mind to the other. Finally, the sound of the phone being picked up and your beloved’s voice greeting you with a yawn and a sigh.

It anchored you slowly, the exchange you had with him was calm and measured. You never vented or let your emotions take over when you were talking to him, but he was aware of the heavy note behind your words. He was aware of what you were carrying on your shoulders, but somehow he knew not to push a conversation about the topic, to just talk to you normally as he did months and months ago, before everything.

It was selfish to demand anything out of him, you should have done the most graceful act of care towards him and let him go towards a brighter future, but you craved so much the only feeble light like in that void. If you couldn’t ignite those flames inside of you for long or ever again, at least you wanted to rely on the external source of guidance. No matter how lost he was too, at least he was with you.

As your mind returned to progressive stability, you heard the weariness in his voice. He talked about projects and groups of students awake until the early hours of the morning to complete assignments and study. It wasn’t the substance that interested you, as much as the simple thought that he was fine and well, still living and still growing.

He would be there with you, in that growth. It wasn’t like the others, because he stuck around and he would share it. It wasn’t like those who simply flaunted normalcy, who craved abnormality and would remind you of the spiral of events, of circumstances and complete, utter, all-consuming horror you were in. He was different, he would lull you back into everyday life when everything ended; one in the arms of the other, ready to rebuild or renovate as you both changed, and grew, and matured – with this tragedy too.

“I have to go,” the conversation ended there, with a soft departure. You blinked exhaustion and daydreams away, just to listen once more to that calming voice, “I’m tired, sorry. I don’t think I can talk more tonight. Can we meet tomorrow to catch up?”

Your heart was beating in your throat, suddenly aware and awake. It had been a while since you met up with him, since you allowed that piece of your life back in its rightful place. Were you truly so egotistical to indulge that request of his, put him in grave danger only to satisfy your own need for reassurance? But then, who were you to deny it, who made you decisor of everything and anything?

You accepted, told him you would meet him in front of his house. He giggled with the tune of your early days, when you were still young and only starting to know each other. When you were naive, and happy, and unaware of anything that would come – be it a prosperous relationship or a declining situation.

With the promise hanging over your heads, you both said your goodbyes.

Despite the call, it took more time to recollect your complete calm, reconnect the wires. You couldn’t allow yourself the recklessness of driving without paying attention to the road and the other drivers. When you were ready, you adjusted your place inside your car and drove off.

That evening, you didn’t force yourself into any type of conversation and your mother understood you were more tired than usual. She didn’t insist, leaving you to sink into a deep sleep as soon as you were done with dinner. As always, your rest was devoid of anything.

You woke up unrefreshed, but pushed forward so that you could see your sweetheart. There was no special effort in your preparation, but each brush of your hair and each step closer to his home brought a sense of freedom and apprehension together to weigh down your soul. Even when you called to make sure he was still willing to meet you, you could feel something gripping your airpipe until you weren’t conscious.

It was ringing. Ringing, ringing, still ringing, and he didn’t pick up. You assumed he was showering or getting ready, maybe having breakfast and forgetting all about his phone for the time being. You retried a few times before deciding that it wouldn’t matter anyway, he was a man of his words.

You walked with somber silence, despite the rumble of the city all around you. You knew where he lived, he knew who you were looking for, yet your brain didn’t register much when you arrived at the right place, seeing the right man.

You moved as if everything was slowed to an almost-alt, just like those past few months felt. You unable to make sense of it all, struggling to even twitch, while the world moved on around you and without you. And despite it all, there was someone right behind you to walk in your steps and reach out to you.

A man, with a skull cracked open against a wall, a few steps right of the door to his apartment building. A man, with vacuous eyes staring ahead of him into the mob all around him. A man, cold to the world and stiff on the ground as he fell ungracefully on the floor with his brains spilling.

Someone was moving to cover him up, so that the public wouldn’t see the spectacle of macabre. But  you continued walking over the scene, until a policeman stopped you in your tracks. He was young, evidently so, but he already carried hair white as snow. Besides that, you couldn’t catch any other detail of his appearance.

You raised your eyes to his face, then dropped them back down to the mass under the cover. You moved slowly, your hands holding onto the uniform of the person right in front of you, your knees giving out right under you.

You didn’t cry or wail, just vomited all over his shoes, on the floor and under the eyes of everyone present. You were sure some reached the corpse mere feet away from you. The policeman was not as concerned at the mess as he was at your weakened body collapsing right in his arms.

You didn’t know what to feel for a while, despite the questioning around you. You felt like you were walking under the rain, torrential, frustrated and furious about ruining your clothes and your hair and your bag and everything else that could be ruined. And you wanted to seek nothing but shelter, a place where you could feel the rain growl and rage, then dim and fade.

And you reached it, a shelter. Under it, you stopped for solace, only to find a gelid wind outside that fuming rage and that sustaining energy. Cold, unforgiving, aided by the roar of the thunder and the flash of the lighting, the rain progressively louder and stronger.

You felt cold for the first time since your climb towards a solution. It was always a possibility, it now became a reality. They had to eliminate him, and they put in your mind that dread of the potential – the potential to hurt those around you, for real and without remorse.

And when it clicked, you were aware of how to feel. You screamed enough to empty your lungs of air, until you couldn’t breathe anymore.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Sunrise (Dean/Cas coda to 15x19 “Inherit the Earth”, 1.7k)

(ao3 link)

Dean and Sam were free. Finally, unequivocally, free.

But this wasn't the happy ending Dean had expected. Maybe in the past, having Sam in the passenger seat tearing across an open stretch of highway as the sunsets, it'd be what he wanted. But that was years ago. He's not that man anymore. Dean's tired of sunsets, of saying goodbye. He yearns for a different ending. One that's less of an ending, and more of a beginning. A sunrise instead of a sunset.

Sam has his. Dean lost his. Despite this setback, he won't stop. He'll live in memory of his sunrise.

Except, what can he do when he feels those rays on his face again?

           Early morning sunlight streams through half-closed motel window blinds, striking Dean directly on his face. Stir him from unconsciousness, shuffling Dean out of his dreams. Warm blue and familiar stubble replaced with an ugly, orange patterned wallpaper that makes his stomach unhappily flip. Groaning, he turns. Hopes he can reclaim his quickly fading fantasy. It escapes his grasp, Dean left in the loneliness of reality.

           Truly. He checks Sam’s bed, finding it unoccupied. “Figures…”

           They crossed paths with Eileen coincidentally. Not like Sam’s pointed questions and giant thumbs hid his intentions. Even his terrible acting (“Eileen? What are the odds of you being here?”) couldn’t throw him off. Dean played along, however, letting them think he was in the dark. Knew exactly why his brother and his brother’s girlfriend hadn’t told Dean about this. Salt only hurts a wound that’s fresh and open. While badly healed, Dean’s grown numb to that missing chunk of his heart. More pained that his sadness made his loved ones go behind his back, act in guilt.

           Sam and Eileen don’t deserve shadows because of his pain.

           Which is why he’s happy for them. Left the bar so they can chat without his presence. Catch up, let Sam tell her about those kitschy tourist traps they’ve been hopping between since Chuck’s defeat. Show pictures of Dean in an upside-down house, Sam’s head peeking out from corn fields. Hold hands. Sit on the same side of the booth. Kiss, without worrying if Dean is steadily killing his liver at the bar because of them.

           Drinking lost its flavor anyhow.

           Free from Chuck’s influences, Dean decided he might cut a few more strings. Namely beer. He’ll enjoy a bottle every now and then but, reflecting on it, booze never offered comfort he really needed. Only aggravated a different sort of hurt, distracting him for a while. He abandoned those distractions. Instead of asking their bartender from last night, with his tanned skin and wavy, blond hair, for whiskey, neat, until he dropped, Dean stood from their table and paid his tab. Carried his longing out the exit, drove with it, laid down in his bed and held it close. Hugged it, imagining his arms. Praise whispered in his ear, about choosing a different way. A better way. A healthier way.

           Cas would be proud of him. Prouder than he already is. And Dean… felt the same.

           Rising, Dean stretches. Winces as a new disc pops and cracks in his back, “Motels ain’t what they used to be…” He throws his legs over the side, scrunching his toes in the shag carpet. Smiling, “But at least some things’ll never change…”

           It’s going to be a slow morning. Dean doubts Sam will swing by before noon, meaning he has hours to kill. First, he leisurely showers. Scrubs at his scalp with gentle scratches, humming Zeppelin under his breath. Keening ‘A Whole Lotta Love’s chorus, coming into his hand. Lets that melody fade while water makes his come sluice off his hand, into the drain. He switches tracks, dries himself while softly singing ‘Going to California’. Thinks about their next destination. All those beaches he and Sam plan on visiting. Finally making good on their promise.

           Not how he always envisioned it, but…

           Dean drapes the towel around his neck, staring at his reflection. Marks new wrinkles he hadn’t noticed, gray hairs where dirty blond were. Sees how small his eyebags shrank.

           Sleeping was surprisingly easy. Some days Dean wished it weren’t. Others, it’s his only chance at being with him again.

           “Nope,” he says, leaving the bathroom. Jumping out from the mirror. “Not going there… not this early…”

           He bides his time dressing, debating where he should get breakfast. Wonders if a diner they passed entering town might serve pie as he hops into his jeans. Waffles between a t-shirt or purple-and-blue plaid while rubbing deodorant on. Then, tugging his tee’s thin fabric over his head, he decides he isn’t that hungry. Can eat later, Sam driving so he can attack snacks he squirrelled away when they last stopped for gas.

           Knock Knock Knock

           “Sam?” Dean asks, glancing at the door. No one answers. “Sam is that you? You forget your keys or…” He checks his phone. Nothing.

           Knock Knock Knock

           “Sam, if that’s you – this isn’t funny.” He grabs for his socks, sitting on the end of his bed. “Pulling a poor joke on your brother, leaving your girlfriend alone in bed… shame on you.”

           Knock Knock Knock

           Dean squeezes his socks, glaring at the door. His irritation fades, weirdly, the longer he stares. Replaced with a different feeling, comforting. Without needing to, Dean guesses it’s not Sam on that other side. Tossing his socks, Dean stands and slowly inches forward. Drawn by gravity, a name perched atop his tongue. Waiting there, scared of being spoken. Of being wrong. He doesn’t feel wrong.

           Is this still a dream, he asks himself. Did I actually wake up? Dean waits, hovering near the doorknob. Remembers rushing last time, what waited there then. What he almost threw himself onto. Cycles through who might be waiting now. Something worse, a more terrifying monster. Or maybe mundane, like the motel manager. He’ll never know if he drags it out. Whether that’s motivation or warning, Dean can’t decide. What he does choose is flinging open that door and facing whoever was there.

           “Hello, Dean.”

           “Cas -?” Dean gasps, knees buckling. Laughing, he leans his weight on the door. Grins wide enough his cheeks must splinter, twin tracks of tears already spilled over. “Cas, is that…” He coughs, wiping at his mouth. “Is that really you?”

           Like nothing happened, Cas crosses the threshold. Dressed spectacularly… normal. Trench coat, suit jacket, and white button-down paired with his crooked blue tie. Dean’s hand drifts close but can’t touch. Not yet. “It is me,” he tells Dean, “you… probably have a lot of questions. About why I’m here, and – and what was said when the Empty…”

           Of course, there are questions. None were as important as Dean snatching Cas’s tie, dragging him into a heated embrace. “Later,” he promises, closing the door. Guiding Cas onto his bed. Falling, his angel’s body collapsing atop his. Weight proving further and further how real this is.

           He’s back!

           “I can’t believe…” Dean kisses along Cas’s neck, threading his fingers through hairs resting at his angel’s nape. Feeds a fire burning across his body, flames roaring with a desire for more. “Can’t believe I could be this lucky…”

           Cas chuckles, “Good things do happen, Dean.”

           “Never to us.” Pausing, Dean tears his eyes from the dip of Cas’s collarbone and to his face. “I searched, Cas. I did. Back when it was me, and Sam, and Jack, I did everything I could but I… there wasn’t any lore. Nothing about contacting the Empty, breaking through I – how?”

           Shifting, Cas rolls off Dean and onto his side. No sooner than it started, those flames eating at Dean’s insides tempered. Became a more manageable heat, containable. Dean tucked himself against Cas’s chest, hearing his heartbeat. Awed from that simple rhythm it gives. Lulls Dean with a gentle song. “Jack,” Cas explains. Rubs Dean’s shoulder, along where his handprint was. Teased the edges of his tee, part of his memorial tattoo revealed. Cas traces his palm outline. “In fixing Chuck’s mistakes, he… he mounted a rescue mission from Heaven.”

           “For you?”

           “For everyone.” Cas kisses Dean’s crown, continuing his story. Whispers it into his head. “All the angels. Jack rescued us all.”

           “Everyone?” Dean asks, “Meaning… Michael? Gabriel?”

           “Uriel, Balthazar, Anna, Hannah, Metatron – even Lucifer.”

           “What the hell?”

           “He was fixing what Chuck wasted. Saved Heaven,” he says, “Gave everyone a second chance, to do right by humanity. Be its guardians like we were supposed to be. And…” Cas lays his hand where it belongs, Dean shivering from contact. Wraps his arms tighter around his angel’s waist. “Jack offered me all my powers back, and then some. Said I could be his archangel… second-in-command, in all of Heaven.”

           Dean lifts his head, frowning. Studies Cas with a suspicious wrinkle creasing his brow. He deflates somewhat, disappointment rocking into him like heavy waves. Routine. Expected, since Cas was exactly where he wanted. But then, isn’t that answer enough? Dean asks regardless. “Did you take it?”

           “I thanked him for the offer,” Cas says, “however my place was elsewhere, here on Earth… with you.” His hand moves, cupping Dean’s cheek. Thumb brushes his lip. “And when our time comes, I’ll rejoin Heaven at your side.”

           Cas’s heartbeat makes sense, now. It never did that before.

           “We’ve got a long time before we croak, Cas,” Dean jokes, crawling higher up his bed. Enough that he can press their foreheads together. “You think you can handle it?”

           “I waited millennia to meet you, and then years just so I can hold you like this.” Cas closes the distance, capturing Dean’s lips. “I’m hoping our future is excruciatingly slow.”

           “Our future…” He relaxes, allowing a few more kisses before he starts again. “Y’know, I… I thought I’d never get to say that. Figured, after Jack took the reigns from Chuck, this was all we’d get and – and having everyone back was nice. But you weren’t there, and I hurt. When you died, I wanted to sit there and let myself waste away and join you. Except if I did, you’d be so angry and – that’s what’s been keeping me going. You loved me so much – and were pained whenever I was… I couldn’t do that to myself. Punishing myself wouldn’t be fair. So I thought about my future, how I can live it for those I loved. Be there… the person I’ve become, and not who I used to be. But now…”

           “Now you can be a little selfish,” Cas says. “We can be selfish.” He tickles Dean’s chin, hands roving across his body. “What should we do, for the first day of the rest of our lives?”

           Dean doesn’t dawdle. “I want to lay here,” he says, “Lay here the whole day, in your arms, telling you how much I love you.”

           “…I don’t see any problems with that.”

           Neither did Dean, which is why he suggested it. They fix themselves, first. Cas sheds most of his outer layers, leaving himself only in his boxers. Dean hurls his jeans off fast, jumping under the covers. Giddy as Cas joins him, both men facing each other. Hands joined above their sheets, Cas’s palm fitting perfectly.

           “Well?” Cas arches his brow, “How much do you love me?”

           Dean kisses him, ruining it by smiling too hard. “I love you too much, and not enough.”

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – A Rescue Without a Plan

A/N – Finally back to this baby, and boy am I glad to be back.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

“Making your way in the world today, takes everything you've got. Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.” You sang the Cheers song quietly in your cell, concentrating heavily on the cell bars.

Ever since you had forced yourself to calm down, streams of information had come flooding across your optics, revealing structural strengths and weaknesses to everything you looked at. You hoped to find something about the electrified bars that might lead to your escape, but so far, all the weaknesses were ones you couldn’t exploit from within the cell. You had long since given up on desperately trying to contact the Lost Light, figuring that something was blocking your comms.

You sighed, giving up on your song, a childish idea coming to mind. You knew nothing would come of it, but a smile reached your lips as you stared at your hand, “Go-Go-Gadget, Lock Pick.”

Naturally, nothing happened, but at least you were entertained, so you continued the game, taking comfort in the familiar words. “Go-Go-Gadget, Gun. Go-Go-Gadget, Scanner. Go-Go-Gadget, Blow Torch-” You jumped back in shock as one of your fingertips split open at the command, a strong blue flame roaring up from the split. You didn’t know whether you should be praising Brainstorm, for this was most certainly his addition, or cursing him for the cartoonish way you had accessed the tool. You were almost afraid to wonder how many of your body’s other commands were linked to the phrase Go-Go-Gadget.

Without wasting any more time, you put the flame to the bars, beginning the laborious process of escaping your cell.

As you worked, you had one more idea which you hastily tried, “Go-Go-Gadget, Manual.”

Before your optics, a string of writing cropped up, instructions on how your Cybertronian body worked. “Play audio,” You said, having been introduced to the opening menu. Perceptor’s voice filled your audials, starting your tutorial on your new body. You vented air through your systems and got to work, studying during your attempted escape.

Once he had been released from his cell, Swerve spent all of his time at the Lost Light’s shooting range, his aim never improving despite his efforts. He knew he had little hope of becoming a soldier in the time it would take to get to you, but he didn’t care, so long as he had something to keep him occupied. How could other humans be so cruel as to throw you of all people in a battle arena? You were kind and compassionate, and you would never have even considered harming another species, claiming that all were equal.

Swerve had often found you crying over books wherein humans had treated others terribly, mostly among their own species. He remembered asking you why you chose to read such books as The Diary of Anne Frank or Boy Erased, if they only served to make you upset, and you had replied that they were important to read lest history be repeated from ignorance. It was awful to think that you, the most empathetic of souls, were going to be scrapped for the entertainment of others.

Swerve knew they didn’t have long to rescue you. If the Arena’s advertisements were to be believed, you would be entering one of their battles in less than three cycles, when the new contestants would arrive to scrap you.

Swerve couldn’t forget the picture they had uploaded of you on the advertisement. You had been harmed in ways he never wanted to see, deep gashes in your arms and visible dents everywhere, yet in the picture, you were defiantly angry. He alone could recognise the fear beneath, but he couldn’t be prouder to see that you weren’t giving your captor the satisfaction of your apprehension.

He reloaded his gun, aiming it at the target, imagining it was your captors. Despite his anger, he missed, hitting a spot on the wall at least six feet from the target. Coolant sprung to his optics. You were in danger and he was completely useless. He couldn’t pilot the ship, he couldn’t shoot, it wasn’t even him that had discovered your location; that had been Nightbeat while he was too busy feeling sorry for himself. He was useless.

Rodimus’ voice rang clear through Swerve’s comms. It was a channel he had left open until you were found; that way anyone who needed him could contact him.

“Swerve, get to the board room. We have news on (Y/N).”

Swerve brusquely wiped the coolant from his optics, throwing the gun on the table before leaving. As soon as he was in the hallway, he transformed, speeding to the board room, eager for any information he could get, yet also terrified about what it could mean for you.

He didn’t say anything as he entered, his attention, like everyone else’s drawn to the video-feed of the Arena, where a human woman in acid-green armour was speaking.

“Greetings to fans, peasants, and nobles alike. It is I, Lady Ouida, your adored host of the Arena.”

Lady Ouida. Swerve glared at her holographic form, now having a name and a face to put to his enemy.

“As all of us betting royals know, there is to be a new competitor here. The foul-mouthed mini menace has refused to state her name, but we don’t care about that. We only care about one thing and one thing only. Which of our noble competitors will be the one to take her out?”

Banners depicting different armoured competitors unfurled around Lady Ouida; the scumbags that would try to take your life.

“In this message to all of you, my lovely subjects, I would like to make a special announcement. Although we had planned to set the battle for three cycles time, we have hit a little snag.”

Warmth flared in Swerve’s spark, as he hoped that the battle would be delayed even further, giving the Lost Light more time for your rescue.

Lady Ouida snapped her fingers, motioning for someone off-screen to do her bidding. The hope that Swerve had dared to feel was quickly extinguished as several trucks with chain attachments drove forward, dragging you behind them, the chains affixed to your arms.

“Our little menace here was caught roaming the halls of our fair kingdom, trying to escape her fate. She may not look like much, but she has proved to be very resourceful indeed, which I am sure you’ll keep in mind when betting.”

It looked like you desperately wanted to retort, but a modified gag stopped you from doing so. It didn’t stop you from attempting to kick at several of your captors, your pede falling short of its mark.

“NO!” Swerve cried out as you were electrocuted, making you fall to the floor. The others in the room spared him looks of pity before their attention returned to Lady Ouida.

“Spirited, is she not?” The Lady continued, spurred on by your attempted attack. “Alas, that brings me to my next point. We cannot keep her subdued for long and as such, we will have to cut betting short. You will have till the end of the cycle, for at dawn THE BATTLE BEGINS.”

The feed ended with a screen of competitors and their odds against you.

Rodimus wasted no time in addressing the room, all traces of his usual playfulness gone. “ETA to the Arena?” He asked no one in particular.

“Two cycles at most,” One of the Co-pilots answered.

“Not good enough. If you have to burn out the engines, you’ll get us there tonight. Strategy?”

Megatron brought up a hologram for the planet, pointing out the building on the map, a modernised castle with plasma-turrets as its main defences. “If it were me, I’d have the turrets hacked. The fastest route to the Arena itself is by the West wall. The ship is far too big to hide, so our best option is an outright assault. We could blast through the walls with an Alpha team. Meanwhile, a smaller Beta Team could attack the Northern ramparts, where we believe the prison cells to be located, in case (Y/N) is still being held there.”

“Who’s our hacker for this?”

“We have an accomplished team that will be led by Skids.”

“What will we need to get through the castle’s walls?”

“Ultra Magnus assures me that he has a supply of confiscated weapons from Whirl and Brainstorm.”

Rodimus nodded in acknowledgement, “You know Megatron, it’s rare, but on occasions such as this, I’m glad that you’re a crazed war-lord with a lot of strategic experience.”

Megatron looked uncomfortable at the compliment but didn’t comment.

Swerve raised his hand in what he assumed was a military fashion, “I’d like to be in the Alpha team.”

Rodimus took in some air with an awkward hiss, “Yeahhh, about that. Don’t you think you’d be better off, uh waiting to comfort (Y/N) in the med-bay or something? You’re um- You’re not exactly a good shot.”

Swerve bristled at the veiled insult. “THAT IS MY CONJUNX ENDURAE. I’LL BE GOING DOWN THERE EVEN IF I HAVE TO STEAL A POD-SHIP!”

“Okay, yep, cool. You’re there to rescue (Y/N), got it. Just… Maybe stay behind the rest of us, okay? Wait no. You go in front, I don’t want to be shot in the back or anything-” Rodimus stopped talking when he noticed more than one bot glaring at him for his lack of tact. “I mean, uh- You just go where you think is best, buddy. You got this.”

“Let’s just continue going over the plan,” Megatron interrupted, turning his attention back to the planetary holograph.

Thankfully, nobody questioned Swerve further, and he was free to remain undisturbed as the meeting went on.

Once again, you were behind bars but this time you were outside of the prison block. You were now in the centre of the Arena, which greatly resembled the Ancient Colosseums of Earth. You cradled your servo close to your body, the pain immense where your captors had crushed it after they had caught you trying to use the blow torch a second time; if there was any hope of returning to Swerve, it wouldn’t be the same way you escaped before.

With nothing else to do, you resumed listening to the recorded manual. Theoretically, you knew how to scan a vehicle and transform, so long as you found something to scan. Maybe you could convince Ouida to show you a vehicle in order to make the games more interesting. You doubted that plan would work, but if Ouida thought you were going to die in her games anyway, she might grant the request.

“In the event that you are in danger and need to record a message into your processor for an ally to discover-”

You focused on Perceptor’s instructions. Now seemed like the perfect time to record a message for Swerve, should he ever find your body. You tried to focus as your processor informed you that your voice and surroundings were being recorded.

“Swerve, I wish I could see you right now to tell you everything that’s on my mind, but if you’re watching this… Well, we know what’s happened.” You tried to keep your tone happy, but it proved to be impossible when thinking of the last time you had seen Swerve and how badly that had gone. You couldn’t stop from crying as you continued.

“Swerve, you are my whole world. I love you so much and I’m so sorry about how I acted. I was scared and confused, and… That’s no reason for the way I was. I’m terrified of what might happen to you if I die. Please, don’t think sadly on this. You have so much time left in the universe, and it’s a brighter place with you in it. No matter what happens, I need you to remember, I’m sticking with you. Never forget that you have my heart, always. I’m sorry that this is goodbye. I love you.”

Ending the feed, you hugged your knees to your chassis with your good hand, while you sat in silence and wept.

Swerve gripped the base of his chair, in the cruiser that the Alpha team had taken, hard enough to dent it. Upon reaching a close enough proximity to the planet’s surface, he had received a few dozen delayed private comms from you, the last of which was time-stamped only one hour prior. You were being kept in a cage, telling him how sorry you were and how much you loved him. If you were sticking with him, then he was going to stick right back to you.

Turbulence hit the ship, but Swerve’s determination didn’t waver. He knew it was just the first volley of attacks from the turrets, until Skids’ team would be able to disable them. Swerve remembered feeling like this thousands of times in the war. The feeling that you could be shot down at any moment on the way to your goal, but that you couldn’t think about death, lest it leech into your processor, freezing out all other thoughts. Swerve wouldn’t die. He couldn’t. Not while you were in danger. You were his mission and this was just another, smaller, war.

Swerve remembered his very first mission. His entire squadron had died, except for him. Being a mini-bot, he’d managed to hide without being discovered; he’d spent centuries hating himself for living as a coward instead of dying a hero with the rest of his squad. As it turned out, many bots had had similar experiences which haunted them. This time, he would not hide, his team would survive, they would rescue you, and Swerve would tell you every minute of every day that he loved you.

“SKIDS,” Rodimus yelled over the comms, “A LITTLE HELP WITH THE FRAGGING TURRETS.”

“Working on it,” Skids replied frantically. “They have one hell of an IT team there, Rodimus. The turrets are encrypted at least five times over.”

“Great. I’ll pass on the compliment when I meet them. Can you stop the turrets or not?”

There was a sharp silence on Skids end which was answer enough; the team would have to go in under fire.

“Okay,” Rodimus looked to his team. Ultra Magnus, Tailgate, Cyclonus, and Swerve were there, along with a few other volunteers that made their number twenty. “Plan B. We drive fast and furious, ploughing through their defences.”

The team were less enthusiastic at the thought of being shot, but none of them buckled under pressure; everyone was ready to go to your aid.

“Beta team, in position?” Rodimus asked, as they had planned to do before the Alpha Team dropped down onto the planet’s surface.

“Negative,” Megatron replied. His team comprised of Drift, Nautica, Nightbeat, and Brainstorm. It was decided that a smaller team would be better for infiltration. “The blueprints were wrong. We landed right in their armoury and are facing heavy fire.”

“HEY, NO, NOT COOL. WE WERE FACING HEAVY FIRE FIRST.” Rodimus pouted. “THAT’S OUR THING. GET YOUR OWN THING.”

“Don’t be a sparkling,” Megatron hissed. “Rendezvous here. We need backup.”

Swerve crushed another part of his chair. Meeting up with the beta team would lead them further away from you. They should face the turrets, consequences be damned. Swerve imagined reaching over to the control panel and forcing the team to drop. If he wasn’t afraid to have their energon on his servos, he’d do it. However, frustrating as it was, he left the planning up to the Co-Captains, itching for the moment that he would finally be useful. So far, everything in the plan was falling apart.

“Get ready to fight, crew,” Rodimus warned as the cruiser approached the Beta Teams location. Everyone stood up, heading to the back of the ship, “Dropping in three, two, one.”

The doors opened, leaving all the transformed vehicles to drive out on the ramp, jumping the gap onto the planet. There, the battle began. A handful of Cybertronians against a few hundred organics, none of whom seemed to be human; perhaps Lady Ouida was the only human among the organics that inhabited the planet.

Swerve raged with every shot he took. In hallways full to the brim of enemies, even he couldn’t miss. His blaster kept ringing off with compliments. Good job. Nice shootin’ Tex. You’re my hero.

However, as many shots as he got in, the enemies didn’t drop. It seemed that they were immune to most of the weapons, only stumbling slightly before they got back up to fight.

“This isn’t working,” Cyclonus growled through gritted teeth, him and Drift being the only ones to do any real damage with their swords, though they kept getting pushed back by the horde.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Rodimus said sardonically. “Time for plan C.”

“We don’t have a plan C,” Ultra Magnus reported.

“Then improvise.”

From the corner of his optic, Swerve saw a flash of green and he spun around to see Lady Ouida herself. She was climbing over the rubble, apparently trying to reach the fast-firing ballista behind the invaders of her castle. Full of rage at the human who had dared to harm his Conjunx Endurae, Swerve rushed at her, screaming. He tackled her to the ground, grunting as she stabbed a plasma dagger into his side. He would worry about the pain later, when you were safe. For now, he didn’t care, as that was the only weapon she had and she couldn’t retrieve it from his side now that he had her arms firmly in his grasp.

Swerve had always prided himself on being gentle with you, his beloved human. However, with Ouida in his grip, he was all too aware of how easy it would be to crush every bone in her body with only the slightest bit of pressure.

“WHERE IS MY CONJUNX?” He spat at her.

“Dead.” Lady Ouida lied. “As you will be soon enough, robotic scum.”

Swerve didn’t bother to press her on her deception, knowing instinctively that she wouldn’t talk, no matter what he did. Instead, he carried her towards her army, making sure the creatures could see her.

“I HAVE YOUR LEADER,” He roared at them. “LET US PASS, OR I’LL CRUSH HER.”

The organics stopped shooting, eerily expressionless as they lowered their weapons. Ouida shot her captors a disgusted look, hating that they had bested her experimental mutants. They were made to follow orders and protect the castle, but they had also been designed to ensure that she wouldn’t be harmed; with her as a captive, they were useless.

Swerve made his way forward, but Rodimus grabbed his shoulder-plate, pulling him back.

“Hey, loving the energy buddy,” Rodimus complimented Swerve. “Great improv and all, but uh, the Arena is the other way.”

“Oh,” Swerve looked at the mutant army, who were watching Ouida like a dog watching its master. “In that case, don’t follow us, or I’ll crush her.”

“YEAH,” Rodimus fist-pumped the air. “LET’S GO RESCUE (Y/N).”

You didn’t know what to say as you were faced with the many faces of the Lost Light that you thought you’d never see again, but most importantly Swerve. For a moment, you were half-convinced that you were hallucinating again, but then he had pushed Lady Ouida into Drift’s arms and he was holding you.

He kissed your helm, pulling you into his chassis, checking over every inch of you for injuries. “(Y/N),” he murmured. “My (Y/N).”

“Swerve,” You cried his name. “Swerve. I was so scared I’d never see you-”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m here now. I love you. Always,” He repeated your message to you, letting you alone know that he had received it.

“Not to interrupt this reunion,” Megatron said sombrely, “But enemy reinforcements could arrive at any moment, and we need to get you two to medical treatment immediately.”

For the first time, you noticed the gash in Swerve’s side, coated with freshly congealed energon; he had taken the dagger out prior to seeing you.

“She hurt you… She-”

It was your turn to scream at Ouida, “YOU HURT MY CONJUNX ENDURAE.”

You reached out to crush her with your good arm, but Drift dragged Ouida into safety, “Sorry (Y/N), but she’s our ticket out of here. If we kill her, we have no leverage.”

You glared at Ouida, “You’re lucky he values all life, you hateful witch.”

Ouida rolled her eyes, unperturbed by the raving antics of a non-organic.

“Come on, (Y/N),” Swerve ushered you ahead of the group. “It’s time for us to go home.”

Home. You thought of your hab-suite aboard the Lost Light where you had built your life with Swerve; you couldn’t wait to get back to it. Letting Swerve cradle you in his arms, you leaned on him and took your first steps back towards home.

Like my work? Buy me a coffee and earn preview of the next fic, or commission me on the commissions page.

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Authors Note: Hey! So this is a request. And it’s a Smut So perpare yourself. Sorry it took so long, between trying too write it. And Drama with life. I got too be a proud owner of a Shinny new Sickness! Lol 😂 I was in and out for a week. NOT COVID! My skull is swelling up, Long story short. The Doctor I delt with refused too take my Swollen Skull and my memory lost (which I was having ) as serious. He diagnosed it with I had a Bad reaction too a bug bite… been dealing with this issues since Feb before the bugs were out. He refused too do tests on me until there is Snow on the ground.. (I’m Dead serious! I have too wait until November/ December too have this be a taken seriously)It’s been a hassle. The stories alone about the Memory loss should be a different post cause in the. Short week I was having memory issues I got into weird situations. My head however now is better! Still slightly swollen and I’m on day 13 of headaches. Now that my personal excuse for why this is so late is explained I would like too also apologize if it’s Not what you wanted lol 😂 Smut isn’t something I’m use too writing and I struggled. So Hopefully it’s Good! And as requested It’s LONG on word it’s 12 pages long lol so Enjoy the length!

Did I Proof read?: Define proofread lol

Rating: Rating is Smut! So 18 +

Warnings?: unprotected sex, sub / Dom like behaviour (loosely) public sexual acts, adult Toys

Paring: Klaus and Y/N

Appearances by: Klaus mikelson, Kol and Elijah Mikelson

Length of imagine: 12 pages

Requested imagine:

You have had three encounter with Klaus Mikaelson, All awkward, strange and each time endings with you Begging and Hoping too Die from your embarrassment. Each time unsuccessful dying from it. But it gave your classmate Kol (who happens too be Klaus’s Brother) ammo too torment you. Kol being a classmate / friend / tormented. He was a friendenemy. You sort of got along, but he loved, LOVED teasing you! Especially after you met his other brothers.

The first encounter you had with Kol’s brother Klaus. was at a bar with Kol, a few of your friends from class. All of you were learning too be Lawyers. Studying for the Bar, extremely exhausted from your long week. You were dragged too the bar. Where you Drank. (If remembering correctly It was Kol who was shoving the shots too everyone) that’s when the Greek god creature came into the Bar an attractive man. Avenge height, possessing curled dirty-blond hair and dark blue eyes that contrasts with his pearl-white skin. he is well-built. With a delicate and yet masculine face, he dressed casually for the for bar. Wearing jeans, a shirt, and a jacket. He was at t he bar ordering a drink as you shamefully commented, “Now that is a bum I would like too Bite.”

Your friends roared with laughter noticing who you meant as Kol spoke loudly, ‘that my dear Girl Is my brother. Klaus! Come over here.”

Klaus walked over as he spoke, “Hello- what are you all. Up too?”

“being horrified.” Kol spilled your comment too he’s brother who just laughed as you gasped as Klaus Simply said thanks and walked off. You hit Kol hard on the arm for that.

After that Klaus was seen more often you didn’t interact with him much, you were polite but kept your distant cause the comments you made about his bum was still on full display in your mind.l too humiliated. It wasn’t until you were forced into a group session with Kol did you see him face too face again. This Time you stumbled right over your own foot. And he caught you quickly but he’s hand sliced all your buttons open on your blouse reveling your bright Pink bra that was a push up. You gasped quickly covering yourself as he’s other brother Elijah came in. And saw the scene. As he spoke, “I think Kol is in his room..”

“thanks-“ you hurried off trying too fix your shirt as you got upstairs. The next encounter you were sitting with Sasha a friend from school and talking about the famous Charming, extremely Hot brothers. The Mikaelson’s.

“Kol is a heartthrob.”

Sasha curled her hair tonight a rare occasion since she hated putting heat too it. But after hearing that the Mikaelsons could be at this Party tonight she spent hours perfection her looks. You spend the normal amount of time. Kol drove you crazy with comments and being a general Ass, Elijah was Far too Perfect. With the Jaw that could Cut thru metal! And with two embarrassing encounters with Klaus you had NO intention too get chummy with that family!

“Kol is just a player- probably catch something form him.” Sasha laughed as she spoke, “Klaus is hot- and Elijah you can’t say they aren’t!”

Noddig your head, the room was buzzing as you crossed your arms leaning forward on the table looking a t your friend / roommate.

“they are very attractive- But you got too admit Kol is a player.” ‘what is Elijah?”

“The marrying type.” She laughed as she poke “What about Klaus?” You rolled your shoulders again.

“Klaus is the sort of guy who is other going too break your heart unimaginably with the amount of Passsion and Zest too Life he has.. Or he is the Bad boy searching for his good girl too change his life- Or just a more Cunning player Like Kol.”

You both laughed until you heard a deep voice behind you.

“is that really what you think of me Luv?”

You didn’t need too turn- you knew your luck wasn’t great! Every time you mention Klaus out loud he was near. This just proved it! Turning too confirm you your nightmare. He was sitting alone having a Drink.he was smug about hearing your conversation So Smug that you just got up and left.

Hours later you were stumbling around their compound.the Party was loud, your friends were all over the place, everyone including yourself was very tipsy. Or on the verge of not remembering the events of the night. You were searching for a bathroom when you came across Klaus he was standing tall as he had a burnet hair women kneeling in front of him, her hair was being held up and twisted and held tightly by Klaus. He’s head was leaned backward in pure pleasure. You caught the sight better realizing he was being giving head. You heard the loud “Gulps” and moans from the girl pleasuring him. You gasped softly stepping over grabbing the door and slowly closing the door, klaus noticed you as he grinned weakly as you quickly closed the door.

The fourth time.. was the most awkward one of All. You recently graduated when Kol offered you a Job. It was odd too have a recent graduate offering jobs but he’s family owned the most respected law firm in New Orleans. And you weren’t giving many oppunities due too Kol being a Dick. He told every law firm in the city about your passions. You are a Cryptozoology, A fourth generation Cryptozoology! Your family has been in search of Bigfoot for generations basically since your ancestors stepped foot on American soil they were searching for the big Hairy creature that is Bigfoot. You studied the mystical creature for years until you turned too being a lawyer cause you were tired of living in a trailer and having barely any food. It was really a hobby. Vs a real job. Somehow Kol discovered your secret and he blacked balled you from every respectful law firm in the city. Making the offer too work with him and his’ brothers annoying. But bills. Won over self respect!

Klaus discovered you sitting at a desk one morning, you worked there for a week before he noticed you as he spoek, ‘what you doing here?”

“I was hired- by Kol and Elijah?”

He sighed heavily storming off into his office as Kol reached over pinching your arm. You yelped owe as he spoke, “how was that meeting?”

You shoved him off your desk as you fixed your paper he sat on. “He’s annoyed you didn’t tell him?’

“I tohught he would be amused about it- I mean you do make a complete ass of yourself in front of him. Must really like him.” You chuckled softly shoving Kol away as you went back too work. Getting up an hour later too hand some paper work too Klaus, you went too his Desk dropping off the papers when you felt your Phone slip out of your pocket, it hit the corner of your foot and slide on the carpet and slide right under Klaus’s desk. Great! You muttered too yourself going on your hands and knees too find your phone. You found it but couldn’t reach it so you crawled around too the Desk pushing the chair aside as you climbed under the Wooden Desk. When you heared Klaus’s booming voice. Telling he’s Assistant too not too be disturbed for an hour. You went too move but your skirt got caught on a nail under the desk and you couldn’t move. Klaus walked over too his Desk unaware of you as he instantly pulled out his cock from his trousers.

You were stunned seeing his manhood. You joked before about biting his bum but Never did you imagine too be in a postion like this. It was itches from your face. As he opened a drawer he was silent as he reached down giving himself a squeeze slowly awaking his half stiffen Cock. You realized NOW you couldn’t just announce yourself! It would be too awkward! So you watched. Hearing A faint sound of a video playing he had lotion on his hand as he was stroking his impressive cock. Completely unaware of you. Watching him treating himself. You couldn’t help but feel the tingle between your legs watching and hearing his faint soft moans. Hearing the door open eh shifted moving closer too his Desk cursing.

“I ASKED TOO BE ALONE!”

His hand didn’t leave his cock and now it was itches from your face you had too lean your head backwards to make sure too not touch his cock with your mouth he tuck himself tightly into the desk. Trying too conceal himself.

“Sorry but I was searching for Y,N?”

You watched as Klaus squeezed his cock tighter hearing your name he groaned other in frustration or pleasure as he snapped, “SHE’S NOT HERE GO!” You couldn’t just sneak out after this. Not from the office door now! You knew Klaus had a patio, and attached too it was a fire escape you plotted your escape as he kept his assault on his cock. He’s moans got slightly louder. You fought too join in or too touch yourself. It happened suddenly he cummed but he didn’t have a tissue and it went all over your face. And into your gaping mouth that was hanging watching the heated view of his cock. He cursed softly as he shuffled up, fixing himself and going out of the room propbaby too find tissues. You took that as your chance. You ripped your skirt too escape as you climbed out fast and thru his patio.whipping your face you stood ther stunned. Standing there covered in your boss’s cum. What surprised you was how instantly you swallowed his seed. He’s delicious seed. You didn’t marvel in his taste for long before you ran down the fire escape sneaking back into the building and using a bathroom too clean up.

Something about watching a Hot guy, who happen too be your boss rub one out inches from your face and explode all over your face that made you incredibly horny. You debuted on quickly teasing yourself off in a stall but you were already been missing from your desk. And didn’t think that was wise.

Using your brain over your body which wanted too have a quick orgasms just made your heat fester all day. Kol insisted too join in at the bar after work too get drinks. You almost refused until he asked what happened too your skirt. And you realized how torn it was. And that made you say Yes too just stop him from asking questions.

The Bar was typical, Kol got distracted by a pretty girl,and everyone invited from the office was other dancing awfully or at the bar ordering more drinks you were sitting in the back at the booth. You werent’ really in the mood too be socail you wanted too get close too Steven.. your vibrating dildo that was screaming for you. From your throbbing pussy beggging for a fuck. The thought crossed your mind too have a one night stand but too many of the people in here were from work and you didn’t want them too think you were THAT Sort. So you sat unsatisfied in the corner. You were surprised seeing Klaus slip in beside you as he spoke, “well looks who’s here.”

Glancing up into his beauitful blue eyes you spoke, “hey Klaus.” “You been a very naughty girl today Y/N.” he’s voice was low as he shifted slightly looking fulling at you.

“what you mean?”

He reached up putting a fabric on the desk. Seeing it was the chunk of your skirt that was missing he spoke, “did you enjoy the show?’

“I-I Don’t know what you mean?” Grabbing your torn fabric he reached over grabbing your hand as he spoke, “I saw you, mouth open, wide expression the hunger. I saw you take most of my load in your mouth.”

Gasping you turned too him, “why didn’t you stop?”

‘why ddin’t you announce yourself too get out of that situation? I was humiliated.”

Rolling your eyes as he grinned weakly, “Only fair tit for tat..”

Looking at him surprised as he spoke, “touch yourself..”

“well aren’t you a romantic.” He grinned weakly as he leaned closer, “I want you Y/N. in every sense, I want too cum in your mouth again, your pussy, your ass , all over your chest. And all over your body. I want too fuck you until you beg too stop.”

“well aren’t you not scared of Human Resources..” he grinned weakly at that. “Tell me No and I’ll never bring this up again.”

You bite your bottom lip nodding your head, “okay. Your place?”

He grinned weakly as he shook his head, “Not yet- soon.”

That surprised I shifted looking at him “what why?”

Klaus grinned shifted reaching over cupping your face making you look deep into his blue eyes. “I want too make sure your sure about this- but for now. I deserve too watch you don’t you think?”

Looking around you were pretty isolated over here, everyone was shifting towards the front looking at the TV Screen a game was on. Other football. Or a hockey game. You weren’t sure. Even isolated it was still Public, and it wasn’t something you ever done. Hell you never thought about Doing anything in public because it’s- well the public people are around. But having Klaus caress your cheek softly making your body. Bubbly. He made you debate about it. “We.. were in public Klaus. We could get in trouble. A lot of trouble.”

“we are lawyers we know how to get out of it. I wont be fucking you today but I will make you orgasm every day. Until I do.”

Biting your tongue hard, your brain forced you too work earlier the rest of your body decided right now. Not too listen too all the red flags as too why you shouldn’t do this. Ad found yourself slip your hand down to your lap pulling your skirt up, tugging your panties too the side you looked around making sure no one was watching before you slipped your finger inside teasing you clit. Klaus watched amused. Looking into his eyes as you slide your fingers deeper inside you. Your fingers were soaked. You pushed hard sliding your fingers deep inside as you you moan weakly as Klaus’s eyes got a sparkle of amusement. You leaned against the chair as you positioned yourself too take your fingers better as you slowly teased yourself. Reaching your orgasm. Minutes later it didn’t take long too reach it, your pussy has been begging for hours for this. Pulling your hand away from yourself Klaus reached over grabbing your dripping fingers and licked them. Tasting your sweetness.

“until tomorrow Y/N.”

With that he got up and left. You sat there stunned, Did he Really just convinced you too tease yourself in Public and NOT take you to his place? Or tried too take you into the back hallway too the bathroom or in the ally? What the Hell! The high from the orgasm dissapeared as you packed up and went home. The High was GONE! And now you were annoyed he didn’t take you home. What a Tease!

The next morning you got too the office, you were still stunned at yourself for 1) catching Klaus rubbing one out in his office, while you painfully and stupidly stayed hidden under his desk 2) agreed too eventually sleep with your New boss. / your somewhat friend’s brother. 3) fingered yourself in a public bar while Klaus watched and admired you. Getting too our desk you opened your drawer too get a pen when you noticed a small red box with a red lace ribbon around it. With a small white note on the box. You grabbed It and opened the note seeing it was handwritten and from Klaus.

“put these on, and give me yours.”

What the hell? You questioned until you opened the box seeing they were Red underwear. You slide the box into your purse as you quickly went too the bathroom too do what Klaus wished. Normally you weren’t the sort of girl who followed or listened too commands like this. But Klaus made you that sort of girl-other it was his Charm, He’s intensity, he’s hot throbbing looks, but something was making you listen too him and do things that you would NEVER Do. . And after yesterday and how honrier you got after your public displays last night. You were willing.

Sneaking off too the bathroom, you pulled the red panties out you realized they were heavier then you expected. After closer expection you realized why. Vibrating panties. You chuckled softly. Surly. He wouldn’t!

You put them on. Calling his bluff No way would Klaus use this in the office. He wasn’t that stupid! Not only could you get in trouble but he would too! And Elijah would Kill him. This was just a Test. Getting out of the bathroom you went too his office seeing the big grin on his face as you tossed him the red box. He grabbed it. Opening it seeing your pink not so fancy underwear. He grinned wider seeing them as you walked out.

An hour in and Nothing. It made you smile- you called his bluff and he did Nothing! Finally you had a small upper hand on this- Odd thing going on with you and Klaus. Elijah called a staff meeting in the confence meeting. You stood up and grabbed your notebook too write notes, when you felt it. A faint tingle down below. It made you jump high. You weren’t expecting it. A few people jumped seeing your reaction as a older lady asked if you were alright. You nodded your head fast. Trying too composure yourself as you force da smile, ‘Yea- sorry spider scared me.” Walking too the conference room you felt the faint vibration every step! Sitting down you caught Klaus wicked grin seeing you enter and sit down. Klaus started the Vibration too be slightly higher. It made you jump again as you quickly covered yourself saying it was another Bug.

Thru out the meeting he kept changing the intensity from low too high. Looking right at him as someone was taking he was enjoying it as you were fighting off a orgasm. Seeing him bite his lip sent you over the edge. As you felt the pressure going faster, you bite your tounge hard and gripped the side of your leg tightly trying not too make a Peep.

The orgasm was intense. It washed over you, feeling the vibrations still going, you realized one orgasm wasn’t going too be enough for Klaus. After the meeting you were called into Klaus’ office as everyone went off for lunch as he closed the door as he grinned.

“enjoying yourself.”

You breathed deeply hitting his arm, “Klaus ican’t believe you did that!” He chucked as he walked over too his desk as he leaned against it he crossed his arms as he spoke, ‘you put them on- you had too know I was going too play with it.”

Nodding your head you stepped over as you spoke, “I thought you were bluffing!” He grinned weakly as you spoke, “give me back my underwear.” He chuckled as he spoke, “Nope” you rolled your eyes looking behind you seeing the office was empty. You reached down grabbing the panties pulling them off. You let them fall too the floor as you stepped out of them .looking at Klaus. As you bent down grabbing them tossing it too him.

“what if someone caught me!”

“lucky them- luckily they were too busy too look at you.” Rolling your eyes again for that comment he stepped over grabbing them from you as he grinned. “Is your grievances because I used the app in public or because were at work? You had too of know these weren’t normal panties”

Crossing your arms tightly looking at Klaus you reached over grabbing his arm as you spoke, “At Work! At least if its publci it’s with strangers so if I’m caught I’ll die from embarrassment but I wont have too worry about the entire office knowing!” He nodded his head as he reached up gripping your sides, “then Let’s meet up tonight after work”

You smiled weakly nodding your head weakly. “Okay.” He chuckled saying okay. As you left his office.

The end of the day appeared like it always does. You walked over too the elevator seeing Klaus in beside you. He smiled weakly as he went too fix his shoe as the Elevator was empty closing as he traced his hand on your calf. He slowly stood up tracing his hand up your leg before reaching your butt and giving it a hard squeeze. You smiled weakly as he spoke, ‘let’s get dinner.”

Disappointed that he wanted too go too a restaurant vs his place or yours. But you smiled weakly nodding your head. “Okay sure, that sounds like fun.” He grinned as he held your ass the entire ride down. He told you where too meet him as he said he would meet you there. You agreed .as you realized after he wanted your oo take your car. You probably weren’t going too his place after dinner either. But you agreed pushing that thought too the back of your mind as you separated too get too your own cars and drive too this restaurant.

You arrived there before, Klaus so you went inside too get a table. You were lead too the back of the tiny restaurant you never even heard of. It was a hardly lite Restaurant, with candles mainly being the source of light, and Jazz playing in the background. Even those it was 7 pm it was Empty. So when you got too your table you went too text Klaus until you felt a hand on your leg. It made you shriek and jump till you looked down, moving the table cloth seeing Klaus grinning like a fool.

“Fuck Klaus you scared me!”

“Sorry,”

“what you doing down there/“ he grinned as he caressed your bare legs as he spoke, “I’m having my dinner..” you laughed softly hearing that response as he grinned reaching down kissing your knee softly.

“Y/N?”

Lifting your head up seeing Elijah you gasped, “Oh Elijah hey.” You started hitting Klaus in the head trying too Single him too get out from under the table. But he grabbed your hand instead and started kissing your inner thigh. You soon realized he wasn’t going too stop. Your only hope was too scare Elijah off before he realized he’s little brother was under the table about too have his “dinner” as he called it.

Elijah was wearing his suit, it fit perfectly on his muscular body as he spoke,” what you doing here alone?”

“oh you know, I was starving and I figured I would try this restaurant out. What brings you here?”

“Same- mind if I join you.”

Elijah has always been kind too you, he was the perfect one out of the three brothers. Before you could come up with a excuse he sat down as he spoke, “how is work? Klaus isn’t giving you a hard time is he?” Feeling klaus softly nibble on your inner thigh not even teasing your pussy he was taking his time. Teasing you. As you spoke, “he’s a ass sometimes but he’s okay.” Saying that made klaus bite harder on your inner thigh as you jumped slightly shocked as Elijah asked if you were alright.

“yea sorry. Cramp. How are you? How’s working with your brothers?’

The conversation was civilized and polite nothing too deep until the waitress came and took your orders as Klaus decided that was enough teasing as he lifted your skirt up. And reach over too your bare pussy. With all the teasing before barely touching you and maybe it was the aftermath of all the times you orgasmed earlier but you were still wet. He spread your legs as he reached down softly kissing your mould before sliding his tongue around your clit. You reached down grabbing his head. As he circled his tongue around your clit.

For the last half hour of talking and waiting for your food, Elijah realized you were nervous, then he’s hearing caught the sound of slurping and hitting something wet. The sound coming from under the table. When the noise started you bitting your cheek hard trying not too make a sound. As you forced yourself too talk about anything. Elijah glanced down at the table seeing the cloth hit the floor, when the meals arrived Elijah lifted the cloth up with his foot too see what he expected he’s brother Klaus under the table. He moved his foot. Elijah was furious that 1) Klaus would be so reckless and do this in public 2) make Y/N sit here and act like nothing was happening she was probably modified 3) knowing Klaus he didn’t think of sexual assault charges that could come up. What a idiot!

Elijah went too put a stop too it until he noticed your lip quivering. Seeing you in bliss and trying too stay quite. He thought back on this afternoon when you were in the meeting acting all jumpy. Elijah heard a vibrating sound but assumed it was a phone or something in someone’s pocket. He didn’t question it because he didn’t expect anything else. But realizing you and Klaus were having a sexual escapades in the office. He was surprised he didn’t see you doing that. And seeing you now trying too eat as the sounds of her wetness got louder. Made him. Horny. Elijah leaned back in the chair enjoying the show.

Klaus had two fingers pushing inside you as he kept his tounge on your teasing you and driving you crazy. Elijah was relax and calm as he talked about Spain. You trying too pay attention but the attack of klaus firm fingers and talent tounge took all your attention. When you felt a orgasm appearing. You tried too keep your mind clear trying too ignore it. It was working until Klaus curled his fingers slightly inside you hitting your G-Spot and it hit you. It was like being slapped in the face you moaned out, feeling your body hitting that sweet heaven your legs cramped around Klaus as you forgot too muffle your moans as you gripped onto his head tightly as your head leaned backward. Elijahs cock started stiffing watching your play time. When he heard the sweet sounds of your moans he grinned weakly. Looking around Not one of the staff members reacted. Clearly Klaus was smart enough too glamor them too not notice. Giving you some privacy minus himself of course.

The gentleman Righteous part of Elijah anted too leave too give you privacy, but seeing you quivering and moaning as you realized Klaus didn’t light up once hitting your orgasm. Elijah was jealous of his brother. The more he sat watching you. The more he wanted too be Klaus between your legs. Giving you that pleasure. He wanted you wrapped around him as he slide his cock into you burying it inside you.

There was no point pretending anymore. That you weren’t being serviced. You tried too come up with something but you saw Elijah relaxing more in the chair and you could notice his hard cock.it was making a very visible appearance against his trouser. You was pulled closer too Klaus as he spread your legs apart further as he started pushing his tongue deep inside you. Making his tongue skinny as he pushed in and making his tongue as fat as it could go as he slide his tongue out. You closed your eyes enjoying every movement as you heard shifting you opened your eyes realizing Elijah was trying too get comfy with. His stiff cock causing him discomfort in his trouser. You looked right at it realizing that was the problem, biting your lip you looked up at him nodding your head. Giving him permission he started too unzip his pants as he pulled his cock out with ease. Not caring about the staff. As he started stroking. You moaned softly trying too muffle his zipper as Klaus kept teasing. Feeling his thumb teasing your clit you were completely in heaven.

Elijah was stroking his cock as he watched you go completely clam , no longer scared someone would see her. The closed sign was out, the door locked, and the staff was in the back. The room was yours. The more Elijah saw you squirming and moaning softly the more he anted too take you right on this table. It surprised him when Klaus pulled out from under the table after Y/N second orgasm as he grinned seeing his older brother.

“see something you like brother?”

Elijah quickly put himself away as he spoke, “that was reckless Klaus.”

“that Is what I wanted.”

Elijah rolled his eyes as he spoke, ‘what if someone saw?”

“lucky them- Y/N see you tomorrow.”

“What?!” You gasped out as you spoke, “you aren’t going too take me home?”

Klaus grinned weakly as he stepped over kissing her head, “No.. but if your still in need of service perhaps my brother could attend too your needs. He was after all. Pawning himself.”

Staring at Klaus you walked over grabbing your purse, “your such a ass! Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Walking off you headed out of the restaurant and home.

The next day you decided too completely forget about Klaus. If he was just going too be a massive tease. 2 can play that game. You wore a tighter skirt and a white blouse you looked presentable for work. But just the bit more appealing. Nothing overly you weren’t going too dress like a hooker at work just too get back at Klaus. He would like that far too much! Getting too the office you went straight too work as you noticed both Mikelsons brothers (minus Kol who once again wasn’t in yet) were stealing glances at you. Normally you go towards Klaus if you needed help. And you walked up with your paper going towards his office. Too only stop at the water fountain too get a cup of water. Before walking off too Elijah’s office.

“hey Elijah you got a second?”

“of course- I wanted too- can you close the door.” You nodded your head stepping forward as you closed the door behind you as you walked over too his desk sitting down as he spoke, “I want too apologize for my actions last night. It- wasn’t proper..”

Shaking your head you looked at him, “No- but it was still.. stupidly hot.- Elijah if I wanted you too stop.. I would of told you too. And. You would of respected it.”

“Still- I’m you boss I shouldn’t want too-“ he stopped himself from finish that sentence as you rolled your shoulders. “Consider I had too force myself out that door before I did something Oh so stupid.. I get it.”

He grinned weakly as he spoke, “I dind’t know you and klaus.”

“we aren’t- he’s just a tease.. he gets me all hot and heavy and just bails… he’s the biggest tease in the world.”

“that is probably the first time I’ve ever heard someone call him that..” laughing at that you reached over grabbing his hand that was on the desk. “Forget about last night- I’m sorry I-“

“you did nothing wrong.”

Shaking your head weakly you slowly stood. Up as you stepped over too stand beside him as you sat on his desk. “No but I wanted too.’

That surprised Elijah as you spoke, “I wanted you both..”

Elijah was stunned as you reached over squeezing his shoulder. “But hey- lets just forget about it.”

He was stunned as you walked out. Walking out you went straight oo your desk as you focused on your work. Biting the tip of your pen you were focused when Klaus called you into his office just before lunch you walked over too his office as he told you too close the door. You did as he sat at his desk. “How are you?”

“Fine,” “you didn’t respond too my text.”

Rolling your shoulders, “Been busy”

“you been talking too Elijah.”

Seeing him jealous you titled your head seeing his all cramp up and annoyed. “You offered him to me yesterday. Didn’t think you would care I went too him.” Walking away he got up as he walked over too the windows closing his blinds as he walked over too you pinning you against the door you were surprised at the sudden reaction. But Klaus locked the door as he spoke, “I want you.”

Looking at him you rested your head on the door as you spoke, “do you? Because you only tease me.”

He stared at you stunned at your boldness as he reached up cupping your head. Hearing chairs shuffling outside everyone was going for lunch. He reached over kissing you deeply which brought your mind back too him as he pressed himself against you.

Feeling his hands on your chest as he ripped your blouse apart. The buttons fell onto the ground but you didn’t care you kept your lips onto him as you felt your body warming up as he kissed down your neck tracing down too your chest as he cupped your breast with one hand as he went too rip your bra off. And with how strong he was. You were convinced he could do it with one hand you spoke, “wait- this was experience” he grinned as you unhooked the bra from the back. He yanked it off as he pressed his lips too your breast kissing down too your nipples before wrapping his tounge around it and taking it fulling into his mouth. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation. You weren’t the normal girl who had overly sensitive nipples. You read about girls who could have orgasms with just by playing with their nipples. You weren’t that sort of girl. But Kalus was Very gifted with his tounge. And you could now see how it was possible.

He moved from one too another making sure the other didn’t get too lonely.when he shifted up kissing your lips again you pulled his shirt making a few buttons fall off. As he helped you. You tugged at his pants as he obliged letting you undress him fully as he helped you out of your remaining articles of clothing. Standing naked he grinned reaching over kissing you deeply as you felt him hard. He’s cock was pressing against your thigh as he slowly positioned himself too enter you. Rationally you should of worried about protection but after 4 days of just being teased.your rational state of mind was gone. Klaus reached down teasing your clit as he slide his fingers down too slide them inside you. Feeling how wet you already were he grinned biting your neck softly. You moaned softly as he pumped his fingers inside you a few times before replacing his fingers with his waiting cock. Gasping feeling his length slide inside you. It was bigger then you expected as he gripped your neck softly making you look at him as he watched your reaction too taking his cock. He pushed. A few times slowly too. Let you get use too it as you eased he slowly started thrusting fast you looked at him as he reached back kissing you.

Being pinned against the door being fucked. You couldn’t believe this was acturally happening and as if he could read your mind he kissed you deeper. Softly whispering into your ear as he groaned softly, “I can’t believe we are doing this” As he reached down twisting your nipple as he picked you up. You instantly wrapped your legs around him as he carried you too his couch as he sat down as you gripped his shoulders as you started thrusting onto his cock. Riding it. As he kept his lips on you. Your neck, your shoulder, down too your chest.

Klaus hands cupped your breast as he soon shifted you too lay down on the couch as he towered over you as he kissed you deeply before thrusting faster. You moaned softly as he loved hearing you moan. It made him push deeper inside you as you leaned your head backwards. ‘Fuck.” You uttered as he reached down kissing you again.

“language miss y/l/n “

Rolling your eyes hearing his smart remark he chuckled he’s voice was so Soft and musical that you smiled weakly even those. It was slightly annoying. Feeling his hands gripping your neck softly as he pulled you into a kiss again, he’s hand lasted a second on your neck before he traced his hand down your body. Reaching too your pussy As he started playing with your clit with his thumb as he plunges deeper inside you. Feeling the new element. Your body started tensing up as he reached down kissing your neck as he moaned softly. “Cum for me baby.”

Hearing his voice was deepin your body agreed too his request as you turned your head reaching your arm up biting into your arm so you didn’t moan out. Klaus grinned weakly watching your back was arched, your breath was heavy as your legs, pussy and body clinched onto him as he hit his limit seeing you in pure bless as he hit his climax. Burring his face into your chest trying too muffle his own moans as you both.

A few minutes passed without either of you moving or even talking. Klaus stood up as he spoke, “that was incredible. Shall we do it again after work?”

You nodded your head weakly smiling getting up as you notice your shirt. “Shit! Klaus my shirt! You completely destroyed It!”

“I have a spare shirt you can borrow.”

Well at lest it’s better then going partly nude in the office.

[eleanorbloom]

When You’re Ready Ch. 21

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: Angst, mentions of anxiety and guilt, smut, mentions of child neglect (medical).   Rated E

Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations  @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268  @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @freckles-spangledvampire​@mercury84choices​  @curiousconch​ @thegreentwin​​

_______

Chapter 21: Keep On Loving You

And I meant every word that I said

When I said that I love you

I meant that I love you forever

 For the first time in days, she’d had a blank dream.

When Eleanor opened her eyes, there was no knot on her chest, no exhausting sensation of being pulled, no maddening sensation of wanting to die. No. This time she simply woke up.

She woke up well-rested and with a warm sensation enveloping her: his arms around her waist, his breath on her neck.

Home.

She turned around and found Bryce still asleep. It was a rare experience waking up before him and have the chance to see him sleeping. So she just observed him.

Couldn’t he be any more gorgeous while he was sleeping? Even with his open mouth, his lower lip slightly separated from the upper, his oblivious look, his hair a mess; he was beautiful, and Eleanor still couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to have him.

She bit her lower lip. The temptation of touching him was too irresistible, so she just surrendered and brought a hand to his cheek and stroked it. He was soft. Even with the incipient stubble, he was so soft.

These are the perks of being alive, she thought.

Tenderness invaded her remembering the conversation they had the night before.

The way he looked at her. The vulnerability, the candor. The pain, the rawness.

The truth about him. About his love. About his heart.

Bryce had opened his heart and her, without hesitation, dived in. And without hesitation, she would dive in a thousand times more.

That’s why she fell in love with him in the first place. That’s what made all the difference to make her fall for him. Knowing what no one else did and wanting to stay no matter what.

“Like what you see?” He muttered, with his eyes still close.

Eleanor chuckled, then pinched his cheek softly and playfully with her fingers, “Very much.”

His eyes smiled instantly the moment they reached hers, “How are you, princess?”

“Right now, grateful for being with you. I can’t promise how I’ll feel in the next minutes or hours, but I feel the progress.”

“That’s amazing, babe.”

She beamed and then leaned to kiss him, a soft caress on his lips, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For pulling me back and talk me into my senses. I know there’ll be times I won’t be thankful, that I’ll relapse, but last night you made me see there are a lot of reasons to keep living for. Being with you is one of the most important.”

“Babe…” He frowned, looking somewhat ashamed.  

“What is it?”

“I feel like an ass.”

“What? Why?”

“Because last night, at the end I made it all about me, when you were the one who needed comfort, not me. But at that moment I just couldn’t…”

She shook her head softly, “No, no, don’t say that. This whole thing is not just about me. You suffered too. My family, our friends suffered too. You made me realize that. I was the selfish one just focusing on my pain, on my guilt, on my mistakes, and I didn’t realize that this was bigger than me. So… thank you for that. Thank you for opening up to me.”

He nodded, “I’m glad you can see it now. And please, whenever you feel like you don’t deserve to live just remember all the good you’ve done. All the lives you’ve enlightened with your presence, with your kindness, with your give. As a person and as a doctor. Not just mine, but your friends, your family, Keiki. Everyone around you. You do more good than any bad or any mistake you thought you made.”

She shook her head, amazed, “I’m so lucky to have you,” she whispered, looking adoringly at him, lost in his eyes.

“But I’m luckier to have you,” he clarified.

She arched a brow, defiantly, “Oh, now it’s a competition?”

“Nah, that’s a fact.”

Eleanor rolled her eyes, “I don’t wanna argue, but I strongly disagree.”

Bryce smirked and pulled her into a deep, searing kiss. She sighed the moment he pulled apart, “And you just keep proving my point.”

He kissed her again, but this time he pushed her against the mattress, “Yep, you’re not helping your case at all,” she giggled.

“I disagree, this just points how lucky I am of being able to do this,” he looked down at her with a bright smile, relishing in the sight of her smile, of her happiness.

“I love you,” she whispered, caressing his cheek softly, her eyes glimmering with adoration.

“And I love you,” he replied, brushing her lower lip with his thumb before leaning down to her lips.  

A warm sensation started to build inside her. Euphoria. An almost irrational feeling of happiness for being alive. And want and need, as never before. After feeling dead inside for so many days, this felt like an awakening.

She locked her arms around his neck to stop him from parting from her. At the evident gesture, he deepened the kiss, opening his mouth to grasp her lips with his teeth and then softly suck them with his own lips. The warmth kept building, now raising her heartbeat and breath.  

Then he continued down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses while a hand sunk under her pajama. She couldn’t help but gasping at the feeling of his warm fingers caressing the contour of her waist, and her breasts. At the hearing of her own sound, she pulled apart, “Wait, what about Keiki?”

“She’s not here,” he replied instantly, his lips now against the skin of her clavicle.

“Uh?”

Bryce parted from her and propped in one arm by her side, “She’s at the hospital with Kyra.  She doesn’t want to be here when I… When I call my parents.”

“Oh, okay,”

"You want me to stop?"

Eleanor shook her head, staring deeply at the hungriness of his eyes, and hearing attentively his want with every breath, “No. I want you,” she sighed.

Bryce smiled and then kissed her hard again, this time cupping her breast fully with his hand, while the other was roaming over her hips and tights, “if you want me to stop, just tell me, okay, babe?” he muttered, tenderness in his voice, looking for her approval.

She nodded, and at that moment, that warmth, that want melt into something else. Something new. What she wanted, what she needed was like never before.

Why he was always so considerate towards her? How could he be so gentle with things that she would never expect?

As her heart was swelling with this new sensation, she pushed him against the bed and straddled him, tenderness still set on her features. Bryce looked up at her with curiosity, but the moment he read the way she was looking at him, inquisitive, but sweet, and almost melancholic, that curiosity faded. It was replaced with vulnerability and yearning.

The door was still open.

Her thumb caressed his cheek, down his jaw, and up to his cheekbones, every inch inspected with earnest adoration.  

How could she not be the luckiest woman on the planet?

Bryce lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek. Eleanor nuzzled in it closing her eyes for a brief moment, softly brushing the back of his hand with her lips.

He gulped at the feeling of her touch, at her eyes piercing him completely, studying his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips like never before. Discovering. Relishing.

She was exploring beyond that desire and that want, beyond the surface. She wanted to dive in deeper and decipher his vulnerability as if she knew she would find the most beautiful pearl at the bottom of all those layers incessantly built with the years.

Drove by instinct, she cupped his cheeks gently, and leaned down to kiss his forehead and temples, slowly and delicately; each peck as a precious promise, a gentle introduction to something he’d been missing all those years. Then placed a kiss at the tip of his nose, then over his lips, Bryce returning the peck with equal softness. When she parted from him, he was with his eyes closed, and a dreamy smile on his lips, lost in the sensation.

But when he opened his eyes and found her staring, a glint of fear crossed his face. This was new to him. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t use to show this side to anyone. He had never shown this side to anyone before.

She brushed her knuckles over his cheeks, and he closed his eyes instantly, the ghost of a smile creasing in his lips.

That’s when she knew. She had found him at last.

What she was seeing, wasn’t the Bryce that everybody knew, his persona. No. She finally was seeing him under the surface, diving deeper and deeper, past his self-assurance and cockiness, past under his warmth, and niceness. Even under his caring nature.

At the bottom, all that was left was the desire to be loved, loved unconditionally and with no bounds.

That was Bryce Lahela. Raw and real.

The only thing his heart wanted, was to be loved.

And Eleanor couldn’t help but wonder: How is it possible that no one had loved him like this before? How? How no one kneeled to his kindness, to his generosity, his selflessness? To his loving nature? How could no one see him? How could people be so blind? How no one had been willing to give him the world?

Her eyes glimmered at the sight of him vulnerable, opening completely to her for the first time in his life. Imagining all those years by himself, dealing alone with his traumas and lacks. Convincing himself that he’d always be by himself, that no one could love him.

And Bryce looked at her scarer than before, panicking. As if he was sure that Eleanor couldn’t give it to him, as if it was too much, as if she doesn’t love him enough as she thought.

He trembled.  She felt his stomach quivering down her tights.

For Bryce, it was so easy to love, but so difficult to accept being loved. He never thought he would be worthy of being loved. Especially not this way.

He had been so broken. He had been so unloved. Rejected. Bullied. Ignored. Abandoned, even. And yet. And yet he was the most wonderful man she’d ever met. The most loving and caring. The man who gave her his heart expecting nothing in return.

Of course he deserved to be loved. Of course she would give everything in her to love him as he always should’ve been loved.

A tear streamed down her face before she could find the strength to talk, “You’re so beautiful. So kind. So generous. And loving. And caring. And cute, and tender. And compassionate. And clever. And I love you so, so, so much Bryce. So much.”

His eyes glistened. His lip quivered. His breath sped up. He was unrecognizable. There was no even a shade of the Bryce she’d know for more than a year.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I promise you I’ll spend my whole life showing how much I love you.”

He gulped. His eyes were full of tears. It was like her words broke him somehow. His past self. Or maybe broke something inside him. Something old and damaged. A shield.

Eleanor wiped the tears off his face and kissed him sweetly, trying to dissolve the pain in his heart, trying to fill that void with the love that was bursting inside her again.

Perhaps that’s why she was so full of love. It was never too much love. It was just that the void to fill was too big. For too many years of waiting.

And she kissed him again and again until the desire was stronger than the pain. Until the lump in his throat dissolved into a groan of pleasure.  

Until the desire grew stronger enough to make Bryce pinning her against the bed. He wasn’t back yet, the overconfident and expert Bryce, his features still showed vulnerability, but his eyes were studying her. As if looking for a hint of betrayal, of a lie, of faking. God, no. How? She could never. “Te amo. Te amo, Bryce. I love you so much” she reassured, staring deeply into his amber eyes. There weren't more certain words than those.

That was fuel. Because a second later he’s frantically kissing down her neck, while his hands were trying to get rid of her pajama. Her skin tickled and burned with every kiss, with every touch.

The sensations were intoxicating.

But there’s no hurry once he had her skin. He savored her, and she savored his touch. She and he got lost in the other, none of them craving for more touch or release. They’re loving every second. They’re happy with the connection.  With the unspoken.

Some things happened in a blur. A golden haze numbed them from everything. Love was intoxicating enough to make them miss the track of time, but not to miss a single bit of the sensations. Of how the other made them feel. How the love is so palpable with every caress and kiss, with every look, with every moan and sigh.

When their bodies connected, the haze simply turned into a warm bliss. As if what they’d been living was the best thing, the pleasure building inside proved them wrong. This was.

Bryce looked up at her, beautiful and powerful like a goddess, establishing a pace, panting, her body shaking with every thrust. “Oh my god, you feel incredible”, he groaned, and then sat up to envelope her in his arms and kiss her because he couldn’t get enough of her.

With his hands on her hips, he pushed her even deeper into him, “Bryce…” she purred, looking at him with a mock of desperation on her face, her cheeks flushed and her whole face glistening in sweat. She is glowing.

“Eleanor…” he gasped, losing himself in the honey of her irises. In the pomegranate scent of her shampoo, in the sweet scent of her skin. There, at that moment, he realized. He finally had what he always wanted, “You’re mine, you’re… Mine.”

“Yes," she sighed, her hot breath against his mouth, "I’m yours, and you are mine. You’re mine and I’m yours, love.”

“Say it again”

“I’m yours, Bryce, I’m completely yours," she promised.

Bryce had never been possessive. He was very far from that. But there was something about the fact that she was finally his. His girlfriend, his partner, his lover. That she had chosen him. That their love was mutual and reciprocated, and probably everlasting.

And Bryce never had anyone. No one who could hold him, who could love him, and now he had her. Those words were a simple sense of belonging.  

He kissed her hard and a groan crashed against her mouth. The shared moment electrified her body from head to toes, making her feel how her brain was slowly melting, shutting her down from any coherent thought. There was just one thought.  She needed release.

As if he’d read her, he started moving senselessly.

“Bryce” His name was sugar on her lips. The most exquisite elixir causing the most beautiful feeling inside her.

The pain. Sadness. Distress. Fear. Guilt. Everything was gone at that moment. It was only him and his touch, and his love. And everything him.

“And I’m yours. Damn, I’m yours, Eleanor, all yours” he groaned. It was only her and her touch, and her love. Everything about her. It had always been about her. It had always been her. It would always be her.

The way he spoke. His voice. Like a plead. Desperation. Like it was beyond him.

It was so intimate, pure. But at the same time so sensual. Carnal.

Eleanor pulled his hair on the back of his head, purring for the last time, “Bryce, love!” as her back arched, her whole body shuddering with the most divine sensation she’d ever felt. Buzzing, pure, sweet, warm.  A few tears had escaped her eyes, the sensation was overwhelming and healing.

A few moments later, one last grunt escaped his mouth. Visceral. Primal.

He remained with his forehead against hers for a few seconds before hurling himself over the bed with Eleanor on top of him. Then she rolled to the side to regain some coolness, their bodies were almost unbearably hot and sweated.

After a while, Bryce turned to her, smiling contently, and slid an arm under her neck and pulled her against him, her face barely inches apart from his. “Thank you,” he said, a hand cupping her cheek.

She frowned, “for what?”

“For loving me.”

The look he gave her broke her again. Open doors. But somehow… the void didn’t look empty. Not as empty as it was before.

It was glowing.

*

The moment shared that morning worked like a destressing charm for what was coming. Even if momentarily.

As if he hadn’t dealt with enough that week, now he needed to do something unpostponable. Call his parents.

He had planned to call them on Monday, after Kyra’s surgery, but with Eleanor’s accident, he prioritized other things, and Keiki was honestly grateful for that. Even if she agreed that Bryce had to call their parents, she was scared of what could happen. That’s why she preferred not being there when Bryce called them, and instead, decided to spend the day with Kyra, with whom had found a good friend despite the age difference.

After lunch, Bryce and Eleanor were sitting on the couch, waiting for Bryce’s mother to pick up the phone. After a few seconds, a feminine voice was heard at the other side of the line, “Hello?”

"Hi, mom."

“Bryce? What a surprise! How are you doing? How is Keiki?”

“She’s fine.”

“Is she there?”

“No, she’s with a friend.”

“A friend?”

Bryce rolled his eyes before continuing, “Mom, I called you because we need to discuss something important.”

“What would that be?”

“You really don’t know? Or you just simply prefer not to give a damn about your daughter?”

“Oh. You want me to go for her? Did you get bored already? You two lasted more than I thought.”

Bryce breathed deeply, containing his anger, “No, that’s not what I meant. I… I want to be Keiki’s legal guardian.”

A laugh was heard on the other side of the line, “You got to be kidding me, you, in charge of Keiki?”

“What’s the joke here? What I’ve been doing this time, then?”

“I guess just keep with your life with the only difference that there’s a teenager in your house when you come home.”

“Oh, are you talking about when Keiki was with you? Or when I lived there too?”

“What do you want, Bryce? Money? A ticket flight so you can send her back?”

Bryce's ears turned red in anger, “I want to be her legal guardianship, mother. School started here, I can’t enroll her in any place without your and dad’s authorization. I’m sure you don't want me to be annoying you every five seconds to make a decision that affects her, so that's why being her legal guardian would simplify things."

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not? You seem pretty comfortable with her being here, you didn’t even bother to come here to talk. You give a shit about Keiki, mom.”

Silence, but Bryce would tell she was resisting a snarl, “You really want to take care of her?”

“Yes. I want her to live with me, she’s not happy there.”

"Oh, Bryce, you should know better. You yourself were a teenager and everything seemed bad to you. We were monsters.”

“I’m 28 and that hasn’t changed.”

“You haven’t changed a thing, have you? Always with your drama and victimization. Now I understand why Keiki doesn’t want to come back, I can only imagine the things you’ve said to her.”

“Not very much different from what she’s shared with me.”

“And she wants to stay with you? She’s okay with being alone all day? You’re a doctor Bryce, you barely have time for yourself.”

“Well, I’ll make the time. I’ve made the time to be with her. That’s what we do for the people we love.”

Silence again, then, she stated, “I need to discuss this with your father, we can’t just let you take care of her.”

“I think you already did it.”

“I’ll call you in a couple of days.”

“Okay.”

The woman ended the call.

Eleanor stared at him. His face was unreadable, but it didn’t feel right.

“This doesn’t look good,” he said after a few seconds contemplating his cellphone.

“Do you think?”

“Yes. She feels… threatened. I guess they never expected that I’d ask to be in charge of her, they thought I’d give up after a month and I’ll send her back. But I won’t do it. Now more than ever, hearing all the shit mom said with just a call.”

“It’s like she doesn’t care about it, like she never did anything wrong with you, or with her. Like this is all a tantrum.”

“She’d always been like this, blaming me for the things they did, never take any responsibility with anything. Apparently they've been doing the same with Keiki.”

Eleanor saw the fear in his eyes and couldn’t help but reach out his hands and held them between hers. “You’re doing this for Keiki, love. And I know you’ll do whatever it takes to have her with you for good.”

“Yes, but what if it’s not enough? If for some reason, life keeps protecting them, keeps helping them and they get away with everything?”

“Let’s hope things with children are different than with insider trading criminals.”

“The lawyer with whom I spoke told me they had to be really miserable and negligent to lose Keiki’s custody, that my best option, in this case, was to obtain an agreement. But if they won’t agree with it, I will go to court if that's what it takes to protect Keiki from them."

That evening, when Keiki returned, Bryce told her about the conversation. Anxiety grew in both of them. In the three of them, actually, Eleanor was concerned too.

This situation felt like an escape from her own mind, something new to think about, something worthy to spend neurons in, instead of sulking all day in guilt.

The following days were odd. Eleanor and Keiki spend most of the day together, watching movies, silly videos, or just talking about life. Some other times they'd been on their own, dealing with their problems in peace. Eleanor didn't want to contaminate Keiki with her bad mood when the guilt was coming for her again.

Four days since the call, Eleanor was still sleeping when heated voices in the living room woke her up.

“You what? No!”

Eleanor got up and dressed up in a matter of seconds before sprinting to the bedroom door.

When she opened the door, she found an elegant woman standing in the center of the living room. She had black hair styled in an updo, sharp cheekbones, and pristine makeup, making her look younger than the age Eleanor knew she had, a couple years older than her mother. She was wearing an emerald green jacket over a black dress and matched heels. What she was wearing probably costed more than her intern salary, probably even more.

A few feet from her was Keiki, who gave her a pleading look when she noticed her presence. She was panicking.

“What’s happening here?” she asked, walking towards the woman.

“Oh, I thought you were alone, Keiki. And you are?”

“Eleanor Bloom, I’m Bryce’s girlfriend.”

“I’m Rebecca Lahela, nice to meet you, Eleanor. And Bryce?”

“He’s at work.”

“Oh. So he lets you in charge of Keiki when he’s not here?”

“No, I’m not in charge of her, I’m staying a couple of days so I can recover from an accident.”

“Oh, sorry to hear about that. So Bryce has you as her carer, Keiki? That’s why he doesn’t want you to leave?”

“Mom…”

“Excuse me, how do you speak to your daughter like this?”

“This is not your business, Eleanor, so stay out of this” She replied, dryly. “Get your things done, Keiki, we are leaving at 3 pm.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Does Bryce know about this?”

“Of course, he called me to take you home.”

“No, he called to ask if he could be my guardian, he wants to enroll me in school here in Boston.”

“What he really meant, is that he wants you back in Hawaii.”

“Don’t lie to her” Eleanor snapped, serious.

“Pardon me?”

“I was there when he called you. I heard everything you said, everything he said, and Bryce said loud and clear that he wants to be Keiki’s legal guardian, that he doesn’t want to send Keiki back.

“Well, I won’t let that happen, so it doesn't matter what he actually said. I won’t let you keep this rebellious behavior another second, Keiki.”

“I said I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not going anywhere.” Keiki insisted in a mir voice.

“You have no opinion in this. I’m your mother, I know what’s best for you.”

“Oh, so now you’re my mother. After two months of giving a crap about me, now I’m your daughter and now you remember your obligations as a mother? A little bit late, don’t you think?

“Don’t talk to me like that, Keiki.”

“But it’s the truth! I left almost eight weeks ago. You could’ve come seven weeks and a half ago, even just the day after I left Hawaii. But no. You just assumed I was with my brother and that I’d come back soon, and gave a shit about me. You did nothing but call me a couple of times and then you did like I didn’t exist.”

Rebecca’s eyes widened before giving her a guilty look, as she noticed Eleanor was observing the whole exchange, “We let you do your thing, darling. You wanted to reconnect with your brother, that’s okay but we thought you wouldn’t last two days. You wouldn’t tolerate the loneliness because your brother is working all day and you wouldn’t connect, since you haven’t seen him since you’re six.”

“Loneliness.” She repeated, her voice trembling. “Do you think I don’t know anything about loneliness?”

“Do you?”

“Do you even notice when I’m home? Like, really notice me? Not to dictate my life or ask about my accomplishments, my grades, or with who I hang out at school. Do you know who I am, what I like? What do I want in life? No, you don’t. I’m alone in that house all day. I’ve spent the last three years locked in my room for holidays because I have no friends while you do your life and pretend that I don’t exist, so, mom, I think I know a thing or two about loneliness.”

Rebecca snorted, ignoring the tears that were streaming down her duaghter’s cheeks, “You’re exaggerating things, Keiki, we do care for you, but you just don’t like whatever we say.”

“You almost let me die. You do not care about me.” Her voice was enraged.

Eleanor froze in her place, unsure of what she’d heard, “Keiki, what are you talking about?”

Keiki turned to her, her eyes full of tears, looking somewhat ashamed of what she had just admitted in front of her. She cleared her throat before speaking, “a month before coming here I had some stomach pain, it didn’t stop with anything. My beloved mother didn’t even bother to take me to the hospital, she thought it would pass with some Bentyl. One afternoon the housekeeper found me drenched in sweat, almost unconscious, and took me to the hospital because none of them were at home. At the hospital, they had to make me an emergency operation. I had appendicitis that turned into peritonitis. They should’ve done the appendectomy two days before, and if I had taken one more day, I might have died, or at least had major organ failure.”

Eleanor’s heart sunk at her words, and probably then it just broke, “oh my god, Keiki.”

“We didn’t know it was that severe. She just downplayed her pain, she was going to school as normal.”

“Because you forced me! Because you minimized my pain and thought I was just trying to get your attention and have an excuse to not go to your shitty dinner...”

“Watch out your tongue, Keiki”

“You see? You care more about my vocabulary than what happened to me.”

At that moment, Eleanor ran to the room to pick up her phone, hands trembling and her eyes blurry with the tears. She called Bryce but he didn’t respond.  He texted him. Left voice messages. Nothing. Then she sent a message to the group chat. "Please, if you see Bryce tell him to call me ASAP”

A minute later her phone rang, it was Sienna, “Ellie, are you okay? I saw your text.”

“I’m okay, but I’m in a situation with Keiki and I need him to come home. It’s urgent.”

“Heavens. Okay, I’ll check the board.  Did you know if he had surgeries today?”

“He told me about one at 2 PM, he had only preops in the morning.”

“Okay, I’ll tell a nurse in case he’s at the OR”

"Thank you, Si."

When she came back to the living room Keiki was still arguing with Rebecca, “Keiki, I apologized for what happened, but that doesn't justify this behavior of yours."

“Why did you come now? Why now that Bryce called you, why you suddenly care? If he hadn’t called you, you would’ve not given a fuck, would you?”

Rebecca didn’t respond.

“Now, leave, because I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“I’ll give you the afternoon, Keiki. I’ll wait for Bryce’s call. If he doesn’t reach out at 7PM, and you don’t come into your senses, I’ll bring the police if it’s necessary, you hear me?”

Rebecca shouldered her bag and got out of the apartment.

The moment she closed the door, Keiki burst into tears. Eleanor ran to catch her in her arms, “Keiki, oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

The girl just sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. Incessantly. Like everything she had inside was flowing like an avalanche. All that she had kept for how many years, and all she had to repress after such horrible experience, “I don’t wanna go, Ella, I… I can’t go back there, now you understand why… why I can’ go back there?”

“Of course, but… why you never told us? Keiki, this is terrible.”

“I don’t know, I always tried to tell Bryce, but I knew I would start crying, and I’d lose it and I don’t like to feel like that.”

That story seemed familiar. Eleven years apart but they were cut from the same cloth. The same scars. The same behavior.

Eleanor couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t blame her. Keiki, like Bryce, had no one. She didn’t trust anyone, she barely trusted them. Saying something like that was too much for her.

“I’m tired of being strong, Eleanor,” she confessed after a while.

“You don’t have to be, not with us. We’re here for you, Keiki. Bryce will do whatever it takes to keep you with him.”

She didn’t know how much time passed, but Keiki had fallen asleep on her lap when Bryce arrived home. He knew his mother had been home but didn’t know any details.

As Keiki didn't wake up with Bryce's arrival, Elanor took a pillow and put it under her head, and covered her with a blanket before leading Bryce to the room, where she told him everything. The fact that her mom came to take her back to Maui, what she heard in the conversation, and all the things Keiki had told her after Rebecca left. The real reason why she decided to ran away and why she didn’t want to come back.

“I… I can’t believe it. She… could’ve died, Elle.”

Bryce was devastated. For her sister, for all she’d lived, and also because he was seeing the consequences, new unknown consequences, of having left Keiki in the past. If he’d been more present, she wouldn’t have lived that. “Do you realize that… that if I’d been closer to her, if we had spoken daily, or frequently, none of this would’ve happened? I would’ve told her to go to the hospital? She wouldn’t have been in danger. The fucking irony.”

“Love, you can’t blame yourself for this. It was your parents' responsibility.”

“But I know perfectly well how irresponsible they are. I should’ve at least doubted that they would treat her the way they did with me. But I assumed that things would be different with her, that they’d take care of her, that they’d care for her. But I’m realizing she’d been a ghost like I was.”

Bryce was livid with himself. Even if Eleanor tried to calm him down, there was just so much anger, so much guilt, that simple words or reassurance weren’t enough. Even if he’d been dealing with the guilt since Keiki was with him, there was still a lot more to unfold. And it’d be so much more after the bomb he received that morning. This was much worse than he thought.

“Babe, I’m sorry, I need to be alone now. I… I need to deal with this on my own.”

Eleanor gave him a sad smile before standing up from the bed, “okay, but if you need to talk, if you need anything, please tell me, you’re not alone in this, okay?”

Bryce nodded, his face emotionless, “I know. I just need some space to think.”

“Of course,” she whispered, stroking his hair before leaving the room.  

Bryce knew he wasn’t alone. Not anymore.

______

A/N: Keiki, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doing this to you. I don’t know if Bryce’s parents are this crappy in the game, maybe we’ll never know, but they’ve been totally been neglectful with Keiki when she was at home, and after she left and they didn’t even bother to come to talk to her. So I think they’re not very far from being that shitty.

(This is just rambling, you can skip it)

Also, I’ve never been more nervous about posting a chapter as this one, and that’s thanks to the first part. (that’s why I moved it from ch. 20 to ch. 21, trying to delay “the inevitable”). Even if I loved writing it, I’m afraid you’ll find it too much? Like, too intense, like Bryce wouldn’t reach those levels? Personally I think he would. Well, the Bryce I’ve been writing all these months would, I don’t know if the game Bryce, because PB hasn’t gave him so much deepness unfortunately.

I’ve been meditating this scene for months, deliberating if it’s something he would do, if it’s too much, and most of the time my instinct told me he would react that way but under very specific circumstances, as it is to be feeling emotionally vulnerable (the conversation they had the night before, when he opened up to Eleanor like never before), and being in the presence of a very loving and passionate partner as Eleanor. I mean, people who had been alone, unloved, have a strange reaction to intimacy. Bryce doesn’t have problems with intimacy per se, but certainly it shocked him the way he was receiving love, that’s why he was scared. If he wasn’t that emotionally vulnerable he wouldn’t have shed some tears, but he had been very passionate, just as he was after that brief moment of heartbreaking vulnerability.

I don’t know. If I’m honest, I’m really proud of what I did there, I even cried, but I also know that not everyone has to agree with my interpretation of Bryce. I know I made him unrecognizable, and I explained why. This was just for that moment, it’s not that he’s gonna cry all the time now, or every time they have intimacy.

Maybe this explanation wasn’t necessary but I’m gonna leave it just in case :)

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you so much for reading! ❤

[deja-you]

âmes soeurs | part two

m. de lafayette x reader

Summary: Lafayette and Y/n Howe were childhood best friends. It’s been years, but somehow they’ve both ended up in revolutionary America. On different sides of the war.

masterlist | part one

BOOM!

A gasp escaped Y/n’s lips. Did she really just shoot someone? And just because he wore a blue coat instead of a red one? What was he guilty of, fighting for freedom? The flintlock pistol in Y/n’s hand billowed smoke still and felt hot to the touch. Her shaking hands dropped the pistol on the forest floor, but they continued to grip the sword she held. 

Looking up at the rebel in front of her, Y/n saw that he was still standing. Had she missed? He was only a few feet away from her and the flintlock was known for being incredibly accurate. Y/n reasoned that she couldn’t have missed her mark, and that the rebel would collapse at any second. But he didn’t.

The soldier whipped his head around to face her, looking more surprised than pained. He patted down his torso as if he were looking for a gunshot wound, but he never found one. He stared at Y/n’s silhouette in bewilderment, bristling when he saw the sword at her side glimmer in the moonlight. The soldier muttered some kind of disgruntled word and drew his own sword. He advanced toward Y/n, and she began to panic.

Y/n took a few steps back, but quickly found her back pressed to a tree. Going backwards wasn’t an option at this point, and the soldier was gaining ground quickly. Adjusting her grip on her sword, Y/n held it up to her opponent, and soon there was a clash of metal between the two.

This soldier was clearly a better swordsman than Y/n. In fact, it had been years since she had even held a sword. As she did her best to parry his attacks, the soldier came back again and again. His hits weren’t brutally strong, but they were fast and in just the right places, proving further that he must’ve been an experienced swordsman. 

With sweat running down her neck, Y/n did her best to hold her sword tighter when the soldier delivered a powerful blow. She didn’t have much time to recover when he attacked again. This time, the soldier was successful in disarming Y/n and knocking her to the ground. The forest beneath her hands, Y/n scrambled backwards. She wouldn’t be able to outrun him. He raised his sword, and Y/n was only left thinking this is the end. The sound of metal cutting through air could be heard, and then --

Nothing?

Y/n was expecting to hear the sound of his sword cutting through flesh. At the very least, a sharp pain in her side. There was nothing. Was she dead? Is this what dying was like? Just quick and painless? No, Y/n could still feel the leaves and dirt beneath her and the chill of the evening breeze in her hair. She couldn’t be dead. 

Daring to open her eyes, Y/n saw that the soldier seemed just as confused as she did. Upon noticing that she had not been effected, the soldier regained his purpose. He raised his sword again. Y/n flinched. And again, there was nothing?

“Why can’t I kill you?” Asked the soldier. He wasn’t angry, more confused.

“I... I don’t know,” Y/n replied honestly.

He cocked his head to the side and pointed his sword at Y/n once more. “Who are you?”

Not seeing the point in lying, and being too exhausted to continue fighting, Y/n raised her hands in surrender and slowly removed the hood of her cloak.

“I’m Y/n Howe.”

The soldier immediately lowered his weapon and took a step back from her. 

“Y/n?”

“Do I know you?”

Stepping into the clearing, moonlight lit up the soldiers face. He was taller than she had last saw him, he looked much older, too, but Y/n would have been able to recognize those eyes anywhere. Even after all these years, she could have never forgotten them. And Lord knows she had tried. 

“Lafayette!” She gasped. “Is it... is it really you?”

Now sure that this was Y/n, Lafayette dropped the sword in his hand like it burned him. It clattered to the ground, and Lafayette couldn’t believe that he had nearly killed Y/n a few moments ago. He had really tried his best...

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he admitted.

“Disappointed?”

Lafayette laughed. Oh, how she missed the sound of his laugh. “The opposite. When I heard you and your mother had accompanied General Howe to the colonies, I was hoping I’d get to see you again. But then I heard he was leaving back to England, and well...”

“You thought you’d never see me,” Y/n finished for him.

“Yes,” he nodded, “I thought I’d never see you. But I’m so glad I did.”

“I’m glad to see you, too. Although, it could be under better circumstances.” 

There it was. The realization of where they were and who they were. She was only here because she was General Howe’s daughter. Y/n couldn’t overlook the continental uniform Lafayette was proudly wearing. And there was also the fact that Y/n had tried to kill him moments earlier.

“Did you...” Lafayette asked incredulously. “Did you try to shoot me? Did you really try to kill me?”

Y/n tensed. “You tried to kill me, too! And you nearly did!”

“Yeah, because someone had followed me from a British party and attempted to shoot me! It was self defense.”

“How did we end up on different sides of this war? We were best friends.”

Lafayette immediately felt guilty upon hearing Y/n’s defeated tone. They really had been best friends. Even if it was all years ago, he had failed to meet anyone like Y/n. He didn’t even want to. Lafayette sighed and tentatively sat next to her on the forest ground.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I always wanted to seek glory on the battlefield, you knew that. Fighting for the Americans seemed right. If they can win independence from a tyrant, so can France, and every other nation.”

“Tyrant? That’s my king you’re talking about.”

“Y/n, you’ve always been the smart one. You must see how King George treats the colonists is unfair. Everyone deserves equal--”

“—you don’t need to lecture me about what is fair and what isn’t. I read Jefferson’s declaration, and I know all about his philosophy on ‘unalienable rights.’ I don’t really buy into it,” Y/n said firmly.

Lafayette was surprised. “You don’t? I thought... I thought this would be something you support.”

“It’s not that I don’t support equality and justice. It’s that I don’t believe these revolutionaries truly believe in equality and justice.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re selfish. The men who wrote the declaration? Most of them are wealthy slaveholders. Do you understand how terrible it is that they talk about freedom and liberty, all while they buy and sell other human beings? That’s not what equality is. And if they can’t even get that right, what else are they wrong about?”

“Those men—”

“And that’s the second thing! They’re all men. They don’t care about equal representation, they just care about representation for themselves. Lafayette, you’re right, I have always been the smart one. I have spent hours reading and studying while you would go out for long rides on your horse. I’ve dedicated more time than most men to my education, but that still wouldn’t matter. I couldn’t get a job, I couldn’t get a position in the legislature, I couldn’t vote. All this on the account that I was born a woman. And you revolutionaries? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

Y/n was out of breath at this point. Years of pent up anger had finally been unleashed upon Lafayette. She almost felt bad. This wasn’t Lafayette’s fault, it really wasn’t. But it was cruel to champion equality and freedom when you didn’t really believe in it. 

“I’m sorry,” Lafayette said. “You’re right. We revolutionaries are hypocritical.”

“Hypocritical? Your english has gotten much better,” she muttered. 

“The men who wrote the declaration are wrong to own slaves and exclude women. I know that. I will dedicate the rest of my life to fixing that wrong. But right now? Right now I have the chance to fight the injustice that is the British government. It’s a revolution, Y/n. And if we succeed, we’re going to be changing the world for the better. This war is just a start. But everything needs a start.”

He was right. Y/n knew he was right. God, she hated it when he was right. 

“Maybe I was being too harsh,” Y/n conceded.

Lafayette shook his head. “No, it’s good. I love that you hold me accountable. But I also believe this revolution is worth supporting.”

“I know.” She said it so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. “I know you’re right, and you know why I can’t support this revolution.”

Lafayette did know why. Y/n never had much of a choice, and she was always loyal to those she loved. He couldn’t even imagine being in her shoes.

“Can we just not talk about this anymore? Can you just hold me like you used to? I just want what we used to have, even if it’s just for a little while,” Y/n said softly.

She didn’t have to ask twice, Lafayette’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her to his chest. 

Lafayette and Y/n were both so deeply flawed. It was all they knew how to be. But this moment they shared together? It could only be described as perfect.

How good did it feel to be in his arms again? It had been so long. Being without him was like living in a barren field covered in snow. Y/n had been content with her life without him in it, but that was when she couldn’t remember what life was with him. It was golden sunbeams and turquoise streams. It was stolen kisses on hot summer nights. It was music and flowers and everything wonderful. Life with Lafayette was all that and more. 

The rain started coming down in droves. Maybe it didn’t want her to have to fall alone.

tags: @ballerinafairyprincess @dannighost @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[teamrawr]

Reflection of the Neglected Reality

MacArthur is a novel with a combination of comedy and neglected reality here in the Philippines. A group of friends named Cyrus, Voltron, Jim, and Noel. All of them are deprived and not wealthy. Cyrus is the youngest member in the group, and he is good at stealing, doing strategies and has a lot of criminal records. Amadeus Denver Kantuyan, better known as Voltron is the skinny robot-looking person in the story and has suffered a lot compared to the other members. Jim is the oldest member in the group at the age of 23 years old. He has a family to feed. Noel is a college student that came from a middle-class family and stopped studying due to financial problems. The struggles of Filipino youth in dealing with the issues of today such as drugs and vices, unemployment, education, and family expectations. The novel is notable for applying a bold and realistic look at life in a Philippine community. Roberto “Bob” Ong, is a contemporary Filipino author born in February 1975 in Quezon City. He was known for his pseudonym “Bob Ong ” that came from a follower of his satire website from the ’90s called ‘Bobong Pinoy’ that mistook him for a certain ‘BobOng.’ Bob Ong. BobOng Pinoy, it was uncanny, he stated. He was also known for his conversational writing technique, creating humorous and reflective depictions of Philippine life. In 2001, Bob Ong published his first book entitled “ABNKKBSNPLAKO,” it is said to be the book that closely states his life story as he frankly retells his student days in a way that could make any person laugh while reading. After 16 years, he has published nine outstanding and insightful books entitled – “Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino?”, “Ang Paboritong Libro ni Hudas”, “Alamat ng Gubat”, “Stainless Longganisa”, “Macarthur”, “Kapitan Sino”, “Ang mga Kaibigan ni Mama Susan”, “Lumayo Ka Nga Sa Akin”, and “Si”. There is no such thing as right or wrong decision, it already depends on how other people perceive it, is the main concern of MacArthur. This can be observed throughout the novel with how the main characters made their decisions in every struggle they encounter.

Given the scenario when Noel stole Lyla’s stethoscope. Lyla was wearing her uniform, then she couldn’t find her stethoscope. Lyla knew that Noel had stolen it. Noel stole the stethoscope because he wanted to sell it to buy drugs for his vices while Lyla needs it for her nursing course. In the following few parts, it is shown that both Noel and Lyla are arguing and choosing their decision because of their situation. Before she said the quote, Noel’s mom kept calling him to eat because it was almost time for lunch, but he still hadn’t eaten breakfast. In front of Noel’s room was Lyla’s. She was already wearing her uniform and getting ready for school. Lyla then noticed that her stethoscope was missing and immediately knew that Noel had stolen it from her. Lyla started banging and shouting at Noel’s door, forcing him to return it back to her, but he denied stealing the stethoscope. Lyla went through Noel’s bag, and it turns out Noel had already sold it. “Kinuha nyan ang stethoscope ko.” (argument between Noel and Lyla). The reason why Noel took the stethoscope and sold it was because of his situation, Lyla on the other hand, needs it too for her studies. In their eyes, it is the right decision to argue so they will be able to get what they need. Everyone has priorities and things that are important to them which cause them to make decisions that seem to be the right choices, even if a part of their decision would not result in any good outcome. These choices satisfy them and let people live their lives the way they desire it to be.

“If I had only been given the chance to change my life.“ The group of four friends wanted to change their life, but they lacked hope. Their habits cannot be changed since they have chosen their path. Education is not the answer to a successful life. There are many educated people, but not everyone was given a chance to live a good life. Cyrus mentioned having a new life with his friends, but one of his friends disagreed since he had already tried and failed to change his bad habits. Cyrus wondered whether his life would have been different if he had only been given a chance to study. Would he and his grandfather live a happier and better life? Then Noel answered that not everyone who has studied has a successful life. Jim had thought of selling movie discs as their business after their conversation. To improve their situation, they all agreed that selling movie discs was a good idea. The friends celebrated their success in selling their movie discs. They were at the same place where Voltron’s mom was drinking alcoholic beverages. Aling Seding was the one who was talking about the child that she had sent to study. Her dialogue "Etong si Denver , tong batang to pinag- aral ko dati, sa sabungan naman pala tumutuloy, sabi ko huminto ka na lang wala ka namang pakinabang! hahahahaha!” is an evidence in which the thesis statement that was formulated by the students were connected. Denver was given the chance to go to school but he still chose to go to the cockpit. This proves the thesis statement itself that the choices people make will affect the situation they are in. The future of oneself depends on the person. If the person does not want their life to succeed, their choice will lead them to their end. No matter how hard the person forces themselves to study hard, if the person is not determined enough, they will not be able to achieve success. Being successful is not based on education. It is the person’s will and devotion that will lead them to victory. It is always the person’s choice that will lead them to the path that they have decided.

Voltron was last seen having a conversation with Edwin and his colleagues. Voltron died due to being beheaded, and Edwin might be the one behind this. Edwin is a popular hoodlum known for offering illegal tasks that were so cruel that no one can imagine. The jobs he offers are for those who want to earn large amounts of money quickly but darkly. During that time, Voltron needed cash to survive his daily life. So to obtain what he needed, he sought Edwin for help. This suggests why Edwin was behind all of his death. Knowing Edwin’s capabilities, Voltron primarily did not want to seek help. However, his problems seem to lead him back to Edwin. “O,” kumuha ng higit limang libong piso si Jules sa mga perang pinapatungan ng telephone directory sa mesa. “Pamasahe!” “Hehe!” abot tenga ang ngiti ni Voltron. “Pasko na!” “(a conversation between Jules and Voltron) In connection to the statement, Voltron sees Edwin as his only opportunity to escape from his complications.

Noel’s decision was the best initial step to start a new life. In his situation at that moment, it was the most applicable decision he could make. It can be noticed that he chose to go home, did not feel bothered with how the community would perceive his decision and the way his father forgave him. Due to being accused as a thief, Noel reacted violently. As a result, Mang Fred or Noel’s father drove him out of their house, so he had to stay in his friend’s house for a short period of time. Noel was the only one left out of the four friends, so he felt urged to go back home. He doubted in the beginning. However, once he stepped home, Mang Fred whispered and invited him to eat breakfast. Which meant at the end of the day, his father decided to forgive him. “Kumain ka na.” By the time he goes out, the individuals around him could criticize how Noel was driven out of the house. It proves the thesis statement in a way where Noel made a decision to go home and did not feel troubled with how the society would perceive his decision. Since Noel was the only one left after Voltron was executed, Cyrus was imprisoned for unintentionally shooting his grandfather, and Jim went home to Bicol with his wife, so that is why Noel chose to go home, wherein his father accepted him again. And that is how the author concluded the novel.

The novel MacArthur educates the readers that there is no right or wrong choices. It depends on how or what one’s perspectives, thoughts, or opinions are. These choices that have been made, the people could not tell if that is a good or wrong decision. All decisions that an individual makes are what he/she is surrounded or influenced by. The environment with a different set of people, set of friends, and the changes in the society could affect one’s decisions. Having more options could lead them to much better choices and realize more about the mistakes that they have made before. Sometimes, they will be making bad decisions, but they will learn from the mistakes they have made. The author shows how poverty truly affects people’s lives and also wakes individuals from the reality of life that he/she must be ready for the ups and downs that will happen. In life, there will come a time that they will encounter unexpected situations. Situations can lead to challenges and may mislead their plans, but the author does not mean that it will fail the individual as a person. It tells the readers that they always have the choice to renew their life or start over again, thinking about the wrong decisions they have made before. Being prepared in life, being prepared for what people are going to conquer could make one’s life better and make his/her plans happen. Plans that a person wanted to happen for their life to make it better. Every decision a person makes could be right. But always remember to consider the decisions he/she has been making. Consider it for about ten times and make sure the choice that one makes is what he/she wants and is fully sure about it. The author wants his readers to reflect that everything happens and comes for a reason. One will always realize and learn from every path they take. This story could also tell the readers that an individual can be successful with his/her own will and determination. How will one be successful without doing anything? It is not that a person should always be on top. It is the way he/she sacrifices to achieve one’s goals. All things should be done with perseverance and not taken for granted. An individual must have patience and determination to make one’s goal happen. Having an educational background is not what a person can call living a successful life. Defining one’s purpose in life is the true meaning of success and it is a realization that the reader should make. A successful life does not mean he/she needs to graduate college and have honors or be on top. Sometimes people become successful in the way they perceive it, other people only graduated high school but those people still believe in themselves. Having determination, motivation and sacrifices could lead a person to what he/she defines success as. Try to push oneself to his/her limits and accept things that happen in one’s life. Always remember that there are no wrong choices, choices would only be wrong if an individual cannot stand them. References: https://soberandtipsy.wordpress.com/2017/09/24/bob-ong-the-phantom-of-filipino-literature/ https://www.philstar.com/entertainment/2016/01/10/1541198/how-mysterious-bob-ong-got-his-penname https://bongbongbooks.wordpress.com/2015/09/28/my-thoughts-about-macarthur-by-bob-ong-book-review-53/

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Request: Embarrassment (Alec Volturi x Reader)

Seeing as an immortal was remarkable. Nothing like a humans sight. Alec could only watch as you put an unknown balm of sorts across your lips, whilst he didn’t know what it actually was. He could see your lips glisten from the light and re-hydrate. Whenever you applied eye shadows, he could see every bit of pigment. Glitter particles burst away from your brush gliding across your eyelids and land on your lashes or into the air. It was magnificent. 

Of course, Alec would never let you know that. You were not what he planned for himself. You scared him and so he fought to find the courage to lash out at you and he did. He couldn’t allow you the time to accept him because that meant he’d have to accept you and that was proving very difficult to fight off. He didn’t want to say the words but he felt them, he didn’t want to say that he loved you. 

"I don't want you here." Alec snapped. “You’re disgusting and pathetic.” Alec made you feel like a problem. He made you seem malevolent and perhaps that’s really what he thought of you as a human but it was wrong. Alec was cruel, it made his words ironic. What became worse was that he only did it in front of Jane and never stopped until you were close to tears. He laughed with Jane but you weren’t sure if he really found it amusing.As always, you turned away from the twins, using your arm to block direct sight of your face. You bit your lip lightly, swallowing back tears. This was how it went for weeks, three to be exact before Alec felt he’d lose his mind. 

Somehow you crawled into his brain, he couldn’t get you out of his mind. It made him angry. It was only a matter of time before he confronted you. “When will you give in, hm?” He backed you into the wall behind you.  “I’m not doing anything.” You said hurriedly and Alec smirked. “I don’t know who you’re looking for but i’m not them.” You were looking for the good side of Alec, the nicer version of him. The one he hid from the world. “What? because i see the good in you? That’s what has you upset?”  “You’re annoying. You cling to me like a lost puppy and it’s sickening, making everyone around you feel sympathy for you. You’re pathetic.” He sneered. There was silence for a moment before you spoke up. "Perhaps you're not so sure if humans are so replaceable anymore and realising we're all just water that slips through your fingers. Even if you want us to stay." Tears welled in your eyes. Your jaw locked tight. You moved away before walking away, tears building in your eyes. 

Alec was in turmoil ever since. He hated to say it but he enjoyed having you at his side, it was like the final missing piece of the puzzle had been out in place. There was truth in your words. Every human was irreplaceable and he was aware that he could lose you at any moment. It scared him and he despised that you, a human, ever had such a hold on him. 

Somehow all of that emotion drove him to Marcus’ study. "You know, people say falling in love changes you and I don't want that. Jane and I... we're just fine. I can't leave her behind." Alec said with a stuff jaw. Marcus tilted his head. "Alec, you wouldn't be leaving her at all. Falling in love is normal. It happens to everyone you open your heart to someone who you can trust and-" "but I don't want that!" Alec snapped, shaking his head. "I don't need change. I don't want it." "No one does." Marcus drawled. "Change happens every day and if I were you, I'd learn to get used to it because this is what life is. Think about (Y/N), how many times have you turned their world upside down? So why don't you tell me how you you're feeling whilst knowing there is a human in this castle who has learned that vampires do exist and they are falling in love with one of them." Marcus sent a pointed look to Alec, making him see from your perspective. "You don't need a lecture from me because you know what you're doing. Yourself and Jane. You both know the torment you're putting that human through and I'd rethink it because in time you'll regret that and (Y/N) might not be here to see it." Marcus said flatly. "If they're my mate- they'd be changed." "Yes, but only if they could bare to be around you. Would you wish to spend eternity with someone who doesn't show you respect and enjoys tormenting you?" 

Two months passed and you were willing to force yourself to finally let go of Alec and move on. Yet somehow he seemed to sense that or just had perfect timing because he got you alone one night and decided he was ready to talk. You crossed your arms over your chest, feeling a slight chill in the breeze. ”I can’t imagine going across the world to save someone.” Alec said, his mind on the human girl who rescued Edward Cullen. It was madness to him. You sighed, although it would have been exasperation you were too tired of the situation to even fully project exasperation. Your words barely escaping. “I think the only person i’d ever travel across the world to save is you.” You said in thought. Alec turned his head to look at you before looking back at the entrance. 

After all this time, he thought he’d have to be told who to love and how to do it but Alec’s gaze softened as he realised that he knew even after all this time. He knew how to love and he knew he loved you. Alec didn’t know what to do with his new revelation.

You entered the room to see Alec sit on a couch, his back to you, deep in thought with his hands covering his mouth. Silently you said nothing, knowing he knew you were there but you didn't want to ask him what was wrong. That didn't seem to be what Alec needed in that moment but you didn't want to leave him. Alec jolted slightly, taken by surprise as you sat next to him, leaving no space between you and wrapped an arm around him. You put your head on his shoulder, saying nothing and somehow it comforted Alec. He felt safe. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes but allowed you to hold him. Alec was struggling and you both knew it. Although only Alec knew why. He wasn't used to having such strong feelings for others like love. He held love for his sister, love for Aro to an extent but neither was love like this. His love for you was completely different in form and he didn't know what to do with it. He didn't know how to feel about it.  

"I'm angry at them. Your village." You finally said quietly. Alec's face contorted to slight confusion but he remained silent. "I'm angry anyone could ever do that you. I'm angry at what they made you. I get angry at you for letting them turn you into such a cold, hurtful person." You swallowed back tears. "Despite you and despite me, it doesn't change that I always find myself coming back to you. My anger towards you...it always fades and I'm left with the want to come back to you." You shook your head. "It's not fair but...that's it. I can't change it. I don't want to change it." Alec turned to face you. "Truth be told Alec..." You paused. “You are like no one I’ve ever met.” You said and he was quick to respond. “You are like no one I’ve ever met in my many many years of existence.” It seemed like he couldn’t believe just how unique you were and how you always drew him back in. “I’m not supposed to care about you.” He mumbled. His gaze turned pointed, piercing into your eyes. “Yet I do.” 

Ever since you comforted him that night, he was back to being cold and distant towards you. In fact, he was worse than he had ever been. It hurt you badly. It hurt to be treated so badly by someone you loved. You hated that you loved Alec, now more than ever. "Do you enjoy hurting me?" You asked finally. "Or do you just want to continue your fueling your pity party?" You didn't even wait for an answer, storming away in anger and hurt. You would never be enough for Alec. He'd always be embarrassed of you, pushing you away from him and all because you were human. It was tiring. He was tiring. 

This time, he got you alone and into the plaza, it was in the dead of night, only orange hues of lamp posts lighting the streets. You sighed. "I really liked you." "That was always the problem." Alec said. "Because I really loved you." He shrugged. "Neither of us can pretend we even stopped either." "What?" You asked. "You really like me and I really love you." Alec corrected. Slowly, you shook your head. "No...no you don't. You hate me. You...you never want to be around me. You're embarrassed of me. I'm not enough for you." You said hurriedly and a look of contorted Alec's face. "No!" He grabbed your wrists firmly, tugging you to look at him. "Listen to me." Alec pleaded. "I couldn't face it. I couldn't. I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to grow so attached to you but I couldn't stop it! I tried so hard to keep you away but I couldn't do it. Before i knew it, I didn't want you away from me and it scared me but now it terrifies me that I could lose you. Please! Please, believe me!" Alec was borderline hysterical as you felt a tear run down your face. "You are not perfect...but you are my whole world!" Alec cried. "No, I don't need you but I want you more than anything. My heart is cold and dead and completely yours." As though to prove it, Alec grasped your shirt lightly and tugged you towards him with only three fingers. You looked up at him before nodding slightly. In one quick motion he moved again but didn't create any more distance. Alec's hands on either side of your head, held you to him. "Listen, no matter what anyone tells you, promise me you'll remember I love you. No matter what anyone tells you- not even me." Alec said firmly.

[georgemackayhey]

Rules For Falling In Love: #4

summary: In which George wants to get married. But… you’re not dating. Why should you say yes?

a/n: Hey yall! There were some interesting predictions mixed among the super sweet feedback from the last chapter and all I can say is, I hope you dig this one just as well! There's only ONE MORE chapter left after this one. Can you believe it? Thanks for everyone who've stuck with this sweet little story so far ♡

w/c: 3k

───※ ·❆· ※───

Finally, for once, you had no worries. No work, no award ceremonies, no pending run to the market you were dreading. You threw all the things essential for a weekend getaway into one big bag and watched out of the passenger window as George drove to the little beachside town where Dean, or rather, his lady, had invited you to stay.

You met Dean and Claire outside of the town's main drag, where markets and buskers and icecream stands gathered along a winding boardwalk that looked out over the distant ocean. Introductions were hurried as Dean had his eye on a paper map, with a bistro circled. Food driven as always, you chuckled to yourself.

The four of you strolled along the wooden path that creaked under every dragging step. The wind tousled your hair as families of all kinds crept past, laughing, and posing for photos in front of pop up shops and the view of the roaring ocean in the opposite direction.

George threw on arm round your shoulder as you both soaked up the sights, listening to Dean tell a story. He walked backward to watch your smiles crack into laughter when his punch lines hit. Claire lingered by his side, looking to him with a wide grin, leading the way all the same.

She went well with Dean, you thought. Her dark hair and her bright eyes contrasted his own in perfect harmony. The sun to his moon... Claire kept her sights on Dean, clearly love-struck. And even when she spun around to answer one of George's long-winded questions, Claire glanced to Dean as she spoke, and he watched on with a similar grin. If there was any question of the girls fitting in with the group you and the other two men made up, her clear adoration for your friend was answer enough.

When you made it to the bistro at the end of the walk, and a tired eyed host informed your party would have a bit of a wait, none of you seemed to mind. You settled on a bench in the crisp shade, watching Dean pull Claire into the sun for a round of selfies.

"They're made for each other, aren't they?" George gushed, watching your friend and his lady from across the way.

"A good match indeed." You chuckled, nodding approvingly. You joked for a while how it felt like you were both watching Dean grow up and bring a date home for the holidays. And when you finally got to sit around and enjoy a meal together, it seemed as if Claire had been a permanent fixture long before now. She asked about your life and listened on with care. She gushed over George's talent in the film he and Dean had just finished promoting. And Dean babbled over her, telling the story of how he'd met Claire and what kind of a fool he made of himself in his attempt to ask her out.  You all laughed and ate and kept on laughing when it was time to roam around the main drag once more.

Then, you all darted after window displays that caught your eye, stopping to greet a very excited dog who couldn't help but sniff your shoes on it's trot past. It was the perfect afternoon full of simple fun.

You split up inside a bookstore that seemed to sell little bits of everything besides rows of novels. Dean and George were taken by a large collection of war-torn photographs, huddled together to turn the pages and spout facts. You shook your head with a chuckle as you floated on past them toward a wall of fake flowers and handcrafted bookmarks.

As you reached out to admire some of the trinkets, Claire floated closer to do the same.

"Dean's told me you and George have only just gotten married. I thought surely you'd been together for years, the way you two go together." Claire turned her pleasant smile in your direction. You couldn't help but let out a laugh. This was a different version of the same type of question you always got. But it didn't make you nervous as it had the first couple of times, all those years ago. You'd come to expect it, now.

"Yes, we've known each other for almost ever." You shrugged, pulling a marble toned bookmark from the shelf out of curiosity. "Only now I suppose we're 'official'."

Claire gave you a slow, sage nod, grimacing at a gaudy display of paperclips as you sauntered through the aisles.

"I feel like I've known Dean for decades." She smiled, and you did too, coming upon a row of children's books under an entrance of paper planes hanging by string you couldn't see. "And I can't imagine being with anyone else, but the idea of marriage has never settled with me." The girl shrugged, speaking toward her risen shoulder as if making a confession. It was your turn to nod, understanding more than she probably knew.

"It's a hassle to change your name." You let out a soft laugh, glancing to notice George and Dean pointing to another book in the same section you'd left them behind in. "And you don't need a piece of paper to prove anything, but... it is nice." You seemed to decide. Claire listened, watching the wheels turn in your head as you spoke your thoughts aloud. You spun off into some ill rehearsed monologue about how seriously George had taken his commitment to remain a team with you, how valued it made you feel. All while forming your thoughts into words, new thoughts nagged you in the back of your head. You and George had only ever agreed to get married for convenience, what gave you the right to preach the value and meaning of the tradition you'd gone through with so unconventionally?

"Shit, that was beautiful." Claire let out a stunned chuckled, looking to you as if she'd just met you for the first time all over again.

"I really don't know how I got so lucky." You spoke, realizing that if you'd failed to see the importance of the decision you'd made until now, you must not have been worthy of the title that linked you to George. You realized just how deeply rooted your connection with him was. And you were suddenly wrought with nerves that the foundation on which you built your promises to George, weren't valuable enough to make your marriage last. And you suddenly realized just how desperately you wanted it to last. And that was a scary new thought.

///

Claire had found the perfect cottage in the hillside near the ocean, up and away from the bustling beachside town. She raced up the paint chipped the front porch and waved you all into the front door, as the sun started to set through the dense leafy trees that surrounded the place.

"Oh, it's so perfectly cozy!" Claire exclaimed, skipping through tight doorways. The dull white trim and narrow wooden hallways were charming as could be. The living space was complete with a stone fireplace, and there was a massive patio out of the kitchen that managed to overlook the distant ocean, inside the gated confinement of the lush back garden.

George insisted his friends take the master bedroom since they were the hosts. The small spare would be just fine for the two of you, wouldn't it? You'd been on more than your fair share of trips and surprise sleepovers where you'd had to share close quarters with George, before now.  

But until the time came to fight over which side of the bed to stay on, everyone found themselves out back in the comfy cushioned patio furniture, watching the sun turn the beach golden while dense clouds turned the sky dark overhead. You all stayed there for a while, chatting about the places you'd wound up earlier in the day. Laughing about some of the people you'd met in passing. George insisted you tell some old story he knew the details of just as well. Dean already knew most of your stories, together and apart, but he still laughed along as you told them to Claire.

When it was her turn to speak, she mostly spoke of Dean, how he'd charmed her family, how some of their adventures together panned out. He kept his moonstruck gaze settled on her, as you and George exchanged knowing glances to one another.

When the air grew misty and cold, you headed in to start a fire in the living room. Claire said something about having brought along drinks to mix and headed to the kitchen after you. George went in search of a sweater as a chill sent Dean in too.

You listened as everyone flutter about the rented space, spouting lose plans for the next, and the last day you'd spend on the mini getaway. You managed to spark the perfect fire in the stone place, as someone chose a record from the vintage player in the corner. How lovely for the renters to leave some albums for their guests, you thought.

Dean soon stole your attention by creping into the room and clearing his throat. You whipped around from studying the flickering flames to see Dean giving you an expectant glare, as if you were the one who'd approached him with something to say.

"What?" You worried.  Dean only grabbed you by the elbow and led you closer to the crackling fire, away from the open kitchen doorway.

"Is something... going on?" He asked in a nervous hush, glancing back to where George had taken to help mix drinks.

"Oh God, why did George say something? Is he mad at me? He'll cry if he sees me cry and so he'll go too long without telling me if-."

"No..." Dean laughed unbelievably, stalling your rambling. "No, that's the thing. You've always been a convincing couple. But this is- you both seem... different. Has something changed, at long bloody last? Are you, ya know... down to one-bedroom, back home?"

"Dean. Nothing has changed. George and I still have never slept together, and I can't believe you're asking, after all this time." He was always supposed to be the friend who understood, who was the only one saving all the dumb questions people at parties would always ask.

"First of all... you said never have, not never will. See? Secondly. You're married. Things obviously aren't the same as they were when I met the both of you."

"You are reading in between lines that aren't there."

"No, I'm looking across the room right now and watching George watch you, and as his best friend I can tell you that there are lines you're not acknowledging."

Another voice cut through your frantic whispered argument with Dean.

"What are you two up to?" George quirked a brow, holding out two perfectly mixed drinks for either of you to take.

"Nothing." You responded to George, but looked to Dean, more so making your point clear that there was nothing to argue about any further. He pursed his lips, rolled his eyes, and turned to smile and thank George for the drink.

Your group took to the cozy living room, around the warm fire as rain started to pelt at the windows. As you sat, like usual, unfamiliar thoughts crept out of the shadowy dungeons of your mind. A few dozen "what if's?" floated about your head, growing louder every time George locked eyes with you, asked you to remember a certain story, told his own on your behalf. You watched him speak, sipping your drink as you silently studied George. You watched his hands fan about as he spoke, before his fingers rested on your knee. Was it just a reflex? You felt him sink lower into the sofa at your side, leaning toward you to rest his drink on the coffee table, letting his shoulder stay pressed against yours while Claire told a crazy story about her time at Uni.

You caught Dean's glances, the question in his eye. He was silently asking you what he dared to address earlier. The question that hadn't left your mind since he'd brought it up.

When the fire started to die, and the rain became more than just background noise, you decided to call it a night. Everyone went their separate ways, parting with quips about how excited they were for the last day of roaming about the quaint seaside city.

You sat up in the warm, blanket dense bed while George took his turn cleaning up for the evening. You opened a book in your lap, but you didn't read.  You totally zoned out, lip trapped between your teeth as your brian drifted completely away from the lines on the pages.

Only when George eased into his side of the bed with a stretch were you broken from the daze. You turned to him with a question you hadn't realized was on the tip of your tongue

"What did you think of me when we first met?" You recalled the very day you moved across the neighborhood, how Georges parents were the first to offer your family baked goods and a friendly smile. You didn't meet George until school began, but when you realized he belonged to the neighbors your family had become accustomed to chatting with at the end of the block, it all made sense.

"I thought you'd be a big bully." George teased, settling under the covers as you scoffed in reply. "Really, you were too pretty. I thought surely you'd torment the school like in all the pretty girls do in American teen dramas."

"Well, you looked like all the boys on the rugby team, so I supposed I thought the same." You jeered, shutting your book. "I was truly shocked to learn there was a big brain inside that lovely head of yours."

George smiled, nearly rolled his eyes.

"Remember bonding over being little teenaged nerds, together?" You asked with a breathy chuckle, setting your book aside. George seemed to study you seriously for a beat before responding.

"Course I remember. Just because we've spent every day together since then doesn't mean the details blur together."

"So then you haven't blocked out that embarrassing New Year's Eve party, then?" You laughed, watching George bite back a reluctant smile.

"Unfortunately, no I haven't managed to forget." He grinned. "There's this girl who likes to remind me of it every holiday season, and sometimes more than that." George playfully glared your way. You'd both been keeping each other secrets for so long, there was no worry over using them as blackmail. Your only fear was the day you and George stopped keeping tabs.

For another few minutes, you rambled over the silliest times you'd spent together. The time he got so scared in the middle of haunted house maze that he let out a shriek, that you took the blame for when your friends stalled ahead to make sure you two were alright. Or the summer you had a reoccurring dream about meeting Robert DeNiro that ended up coming true when George introduced you to the icon at some award show.

George laughed along as memories kept popping into your mind. You chattered about them until your heart grew heavy, for reasons you couldn't begin to understand. When George started telling some story about Dean, you remembered your friends suspicions from earlier. You were no longer questioning how George might have felt. You've moved on to wondering exactly what it was you were feeling.

You were zoning out again, Georges rambles sounded distant and muffled as you tried to process what was going through your head. Why your throat was going dry? What was going on? And right when you felt the threat of tears burning the backs of your eyes, you snapped out of it, and determined you were being utterly ridiculous.

"Hey, what's wrong?" George turned toward you, worried, noticing your glossy eyes. You were quick to suck it all back in, shove it all way deep down.

"I... I really don't know." You shrugged because you didn't. You reached over to flick the bedside lamp off with a pathetic sniffle. When you turned back to settle in for the night, George was there, reaching out to you. You couldn't help but follow his lead, as he nudged you toward the pillows, leaving a warm comforting hand splayed across your shoulder as his ocean colored eyes searched yours.

"For better or worse, right?" George asked in a hush. His way of assuring you could tell him anything. But you didn't have words for feelings you didn't understand, yourself. You just gave him the nicest smile you could muster and closed your eyes for the evening.

///

You woke up early, you could tell by the way the sun was peaking over the frame of your window. What you couldn't figure out, though, was how Geogre had stayed so close to you all night long. You were pinned under his arm, close enough that you debated staying there to relish the comfort. But your eyes wouldn't close again, and you didn't disturb his peace on your silent mission to get up. So you did, headed for the kitchen to fix some tea and try and sort out your jumbled thoughts in the blip of time you had so quietly all to yourself.

But you mustn't have been as clever as you'd hoped, because no sooner than you'd started the kettle and found some breakfast to cook, George was up. He looked like he'd rather be sleeping, as he shuffled in the room, musing his flaxen hair and holding back a yawn.

You gave him a hushed good morning, in case the others were still down for the count. George hardly greeted you. Instead, he sauntered closer to peer over your shoulder at the food you'd found to cook, and wrapped his arms around you in a loose hug. Maybe he thought you were still upset. He was always quick to comfort...

"It's very hard to make breakfast this way." You laughed, all the while savoring the contact like you hadn't been touched in ages. Geogre hummed, reluctantly letting go when the kettle rang. He went about fixing tea for the both of you when Dean shuffled in.

The dark-headed fellow traded chipper good mornings and gave Geogre strict instructions on how to fix his tea. While Geogre spun around with a chuckle, he brushed past you and letting his fingers trail across your arm before he was too far away to reach for another cup. That's when Dean shot you a look reminiscent of the one he kept flashing you last night. You gave him the smallest shake of your head to confirm you hadn't gotten a better idea of what was going on. In fact, you were more confused than ever.

You and Georg always discussed everything. Game planning was your best combined talent. From what to watch on movie night, to how to deal with disasters and destruction, you'd always talk through everything as it happened, together. But you couldn't talk to Geogre about this... you tried last night, and look what kind of confused mess that conversation made you into. That's when you realized how easily you settled under his quick comfort. And that you longed to cuddle just as close for no good reason... That's when you realized that you weren't very confused at all. You realized exactly what you were feeling. Now you just needed to accept it...

───※ ·❆· ※───

taglist: @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @andux @imaginationandlove @velvetgoldsilver​ @queen-bunnyears @maria-josefin @dearevansamham @belledamsceno@nilletellsstories @loulouloueh @visionsofmelodrama @haileymorelikestupid