#imagine having a four-year-old and being pregnant omg I would give up if this was real 😭

[aajjks]

pajamas!! https://pin.it/1d3Qfa2

TPOL!JK

“here hun, cut the vegetables for me” you say to jungkook while ji-ae decorates the home and watches jaemin, jia, and jin-sun. jungkook makes kimbap while you make kimchi gumbo, a recipe your mother made all of the time when you were younger and everyone in the jeon residence loves it especially jaemin who keeps begging you make cookies with him.

“can we make cookies now, mommy?”

“how about now? can we make them now?”

“NOW can we make cookies, mama?” jaemin begs and when you tell him later AGAIN he pouts and gives you those big puppy eyes that remind you so much of jungkook. like jungkook, jaemin can’t go 5 minutes without being attached to your hip and you find his clinginess so endearing that you can’t find it in you to tell him off.

“you wanna help mommy make the gumbo?”

“mhm. please?”

“okay min buuuuut what does my little chef need to do first?”

“uhhh WASH MY HANDS!! i have to wash my hands mommy”

“yes so go wash them okay? make sure you put your apron and chef hat on!!”

you say as you watch jaemin run to the bathroom and wash his hands. jungkook watches the encounter and is so endeared by your closeness to jaemin but there’s that jealousy again. he’s so thankful for the joy in his family despite all the things the two of you have been through, he’s still head over heels and he’s still happy.

after the fun time spent cooking and getting refreshments together, the party you all have is a pajama party and because jungkook has such an expensive taste, everyone is wearing matching armani pajamas including your twin infants.

“ouu, put there hair clips in hun. you’re gonna look so cuuuute” you giggle as you take the clips and apply them to jungkook’s hair to keep it behind his ears.

“you look so cute. i love you so much” you say as you wrap your arms around jungkook’s neck and pull him in for a sweet kiss, finally alone in your bedroom.

“what’s going on in that head of yours huh?”

“‘S just the other day.. Jaemin asked me a question about his birth and what was really my reaction? he’s so young, but he was so curious about that I was really surprised and I couldn’t help but not answer him because I got so lost in my thoughts, as I got flashbacks.” Jungkook confesses to you as the guests are still not here and you guys have a little time to yourselves so he decides to tell you.

Of course, the oldest one doesn’t know that you’re not really his birthmother, and Jungkook doesn’t plan on telling him anything about his actual birth giver. And he remembers what was exactly his reaction when he found out that Jaemin was born.

“Y-Yn that’s not my son.”

Those were the first words he said, after finding out about the news. So Jungkook closes his eyes and nozzles his face into your neck, “y-yn he’s still so young but I fear that maybe he’ll find out and he’ll be heartbroken..” jungkook confesses, but like the sweet wife, you are you just take him into your arms and try to calm him down.

“My baby can’t know.” He says weakly and you try to assure him that he won’t really find out even if he does.. that’s inevitable. And he knows that you love him as your own, you love him so much.

So he quietly whimpers into your neck and you both just spend some time together before you hear a commotion. “Ah the kids.. our friends are here.” Jungkook rolls his eyes because he was really enjoying being in your embrace.

“MOMMY DADDY! Loook!!” There’s Jaemin screaming at the top of his lungs when he bought his best friend, ahnjong.

And with the four year old boy, his father is also accompanying him. “Hey man! Hey yn!” There’s jungkooks best friend.

Eunwoo gives jungkook a wink, because as always he’s got a dirty mind. “You go kids, play in uncle jungkooks garden and don’t trouble your mommy.” The boys nod before they are running away.

“Yn can I have your man to myself now?” Eunwoo bows down, teasing you. You laugh and allow him to take away your husband. While you spot his wife and jorja together and they’re waving at you as you come out of your house, in the garden.

“HEY YN!!!” Alina enthusiastically claps her hands. “ it’s been so long last time I saw you it was at the time of the twins birth!” She remarks and jorja goes all in to hug you.

“GIRLIE WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. LOOK AT YOU GLOWING.” She teases you about your postpartum glow and it’s not like she’s not glowing herself because she also had a baby like a week after you.

Alina sits down and you go in to hug her yourself. “Aw so sweet thank you my feet are actually killing me.. and ahn doesn’t make it so easy either.” She rolls her eyes.

“also, I’m guessing the twins are sleeping?” She asks you and you nod, and then your attention goes back to your husband with the group of his friends.

It’s like you’re gonna have a really good time tonight.

“I’m sorry but I’m already hungry. Where is the food?” Jorja asks before getting up.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 99

The Song Remains the Same

“The Song Remains the Same”

Plot Description: The angels travel back in time to kill John and Mary Winchester before they can conceive Sam

Man…where's that "myth of consensual sex" meme when you need it?

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died.

Ok but if Cas is the one who originally said that the past can't be changed, all roads will lead to the same place every time, why ARE the angels trying to change it now?

Damn. I get where Anna's coming from but there is something TERRIFYING (not NOT in a hot way) of saying you're basically going to scatter every atom of someone's being across the universe.

I FUCKING LOVE WHEN CAS'S DEVOTION TO HIS CAUSES GETS TESTED, GETS TAUNTED, WHEN IT GETS THROWN IN HIS FACE HOW MUCH HE IS FAILING. and then i want to wrap him in a blanket and give him hot chocolate

Cas, baby, you didn't even know who Glen Close was ten seconds ago...

Oh, baby. One, good on you sticking up for yourself "I do not understand that reference," but two...you are not fine. You are not doing better than expected. You are coughing up blood and passing out. That's not okay

"You look a little spooked." Yeah, it's, uh, it's Sam's first time meeting his in-their-20s-parents. OMG. At this point in time, they are the Barbie meme "This Barbie is a hunter who made a deal with one of hell's most powerful demons." "He's just John."

WHY IS THIS FIGHT SCENE BETWEEN MARY AND ANNA SO SLOW???

I'm still curious about whether the angel banishing sigil NEEDS TO BE DRAWN IN BLOOD OR NAH

Oh god, John. I can't blame you for anything yet. You just found out mosters are real, your wife hunts them and has been hunting them her whole life. Chuck help you if you find out her "cousins" in the back seat of the impala are actually your sons.

Oh, so apparently it does need to be drawn in human blood. Nice of them to tell us NOW. I've only been wondering it since Cas broke Dean out of Zachariah's penthouse prison

Hey so yeah, this...um...this episode is hitting a little to close to home in mid April...

Ooooo Uriel's new vessel...wait...do...this isn't Uriel's new vessel. This is his old vessel but 30 years prior to the events of the show. I think I've just seen demons hop from vessel to vessel and Misha not age too much in the like four or so seasons I've seen him in to consider that the vessels will still age.

I can't imagine from either side what it would be like to be a party in a conversation where a child is telling their parent that the have to leave their other parent so that they're never born. Also to be in a situation where your mom tells you she can't leave your dad, not just because she loves him, but because she's pregnant with YOU?

Yo. RIP Anna. Michael's here? THE Michael? And using John as a vessel?

Dean, "Six Degrees of Heaven Bacon" is probably your best pun yet and I'm so sorry only Michael heard it.

AMAZING that Dean's telling Michael to get therapy for his beef with Lucifer. Bestie, do you hear yourself?

“Been On My Mind…”: Nope. Is it 8 now?

[supernaturalgirl20]

This Love (part two)

Pairings: Frankie Morales x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, p in v smut, cursing, fluff, fighting.

Summary: Months after admitting your feelings for each other, your relationship with Frankie is stronger than ever. Helena makes a decision that could tear it all down. All good things must come to an end. Right?!

*comments and reblogs appreciated*

You grab the sheet tightly in your hand, a moan escaping your swollen lips.

“Oh god….baby don’t stop…just like that.”

You move your hand to grab at his hair, tugging it harder as you near your release. Almost. Almost. Suddenly his mouth is off you and you sigh in frustration.

“Frankie, baby, I was almost there. Why did you stop. You can’t just wake me up like that and then leave me all wound up.”

He laughs, kissing his way up your thigh, over your stomach and finally meeting your lips in a searing kiss. He grabs his thick cock and strokes himself twice before lining up at your core. In one swift motion he is buried to the hilt inside you, filling you completely. You let out a loud moan.

“Shhhh baby, you gotta be quiet, don’t want to wake Sophia.”

It’s slow, almost lazy and you can feel every ridge, every vein on his thick member. God you love sleepy morning sex with Frankie.

“Didn’t……thrust….let….thrust….you come….before….wanted…ugh….come on…fuck…my cock.”

“Oh god Frankie….harder…please…..too slow.”

With that Frankie began pounding into you over and over. Hitting that sweet spot inside you every time. Your whole body was in ecstasy as you came loudly soaking his cock. With one final grunt Frankie spilled himself into you. He slowly pulled out and went to the en-suite to get a cloth and cleaned you up. Getting back into bed he lays down and pulls you into him.

“God I fucking love you baby.”

“I love you to.” You snuggle into his side.

“So what are the plans today?” He says as he runs his fingers up and down your spine.

“Well Santi is having that barbecue tonight, show off his new girl.”

“Damn forgot about that. Do we have to go?” He says snuggling closer

“Yes, or Santi will come over rip you a new one.”

There is a knock at your door before Sophia comes barrelling in. Jumping on the bed, she leaps on top of Frankie.

“Oof, bebita you gotta go easy, daddy is getting old now” he says tickling her. Once he releases her she crawls over to you.

“Morning baby, have a good sleep?”

“Yeah, am I staying with my abuala today?”

“Yeah baby and your going to stay for a sleepover, is that ok?”

“Yeaah” she hops down and rushes out of the room.

You turn to look at Frankie to find he already has his eyes on you, a look of adoration on his face.

“What?”

“Your just….so good with her, you’ve always been an amazing mother to her, it gets me thinking.”

“Oh no, don’t hurt yourself”, you say laughing.

“Oh you’ve done it now,” he says moving on top of you tickling you.

“Stop…..Frankie please….I can’t take it.” He stops and just stares down at you.

“Let’s have a baby!” Your shocked, having not expected this conversation today.

“Before you say anything, I’ve wanted this with you since that night at the bar. Your amazing with Sophia and she isn’t even yours, you would be an amazing mom. Imagine a mini me or you and Sophia would be the best if sister.” He was rambling now and you decided to put a stop to this, so you kissed him.

“Frankie…”

“It’s ok…we can talk about it again further down the line..” He goes to move off of you but you pull him back. You place your hands either side of his head, looking him deep in the eyes “is this what you really want?”

“Yes, I want it all with you baby.”

“Ok.”

“Ok? As in we’re going to have a baby ok?

“Yes Frankie we can try for a baby.” He plants kisses all over your face, “I love you, your going to be a hot mama, all swollen with my baby inside you.”

“Ok slow down there cowboy, our eldest is awake now and could walk in any minute.”

“Tonight,” he says wiggling his eyebrows at you. He’s dressed and out the door to Sophia before you know it. Lying back on the bed you run your hand down to your stomach, imagining what it will be like carrying Frankie’s baby. You can’t help the smile that spreads over your face.

****

Arriving at Santi’s that evening, Frankie is beaming, his arm wrapped around your waist.

“Hermano, glad you could make it, and Y/N, looking stunning as always.” He goes to kiss your cheek but Frankie stops him, “eh no funny stuff, hijo de puta.” They both laugh and hug each other.

“So where is this girl Pope? Or is she all in your head.”

“Nah, she’ll be here soon you’ll see.”

Walking towards the backyard, you spot the Miller brothers arguing over the bbq.

“You got to put it on like this..”

“Hey I know how to cook, back off benny.” Laughing at their antics you walk towards your sister.

“Hey, someone seems extra cheerful tonight”, she says nodding towards Frankie.

“Is he, I hadn’t noticed.” Smiling into your beer.

“You gave him a blowjob on the way over here?”

“He wishes, no we had a chat this morning about the future.”

“Omg…aah, he proposed, I knew it, wait until I tell Will.”

“What that’s not what…”

“Benny owes me 100 .”

“Wait what? You guys bet on this?”

“Ugh…yeah. Come on it’s you and Frankie, I bet he had the ring picked out years ago.”

“Oook, well as much as I would love to be engaged to Frankie, that’s not it.”

“Oh! Well what has him smiling like the cat that got the cream.”

“We’re going to try for a baby.”

“Aaahhhh, I’m going to be an auntie.”

“Keep it down, I’m not pregnant yet.”

Frankie makes his way over to you both, sits down beside you and pulls you into him.

“Hey Jen, how was Mexico?”

“Oh it was amazing, and the food, ugh, I’ve book it again for next year.”

****

Pope’s girl as it turned out, was Yovanna from that job in Colombia. It was a little tense at first but the guys warmed up. As the night was drawing to a close there was a knock at the door. Pope went to answer it and when he came back Frankie went stiff beside you. You turn to him and his face, it was like he saw a ghost. You follow his gaze to see Helena standing in the door to the patio.

“Helena what are you doing here?”

“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but I’m here to see Francisco.” If looks could kill she would be dead from the looks Jen was given her. You move your hand to Frankie thigh and give him a reassuring squeeze. He looks to you and his face softens.

“I gotta go talk to her baby, I owe her that much.”

“You owe her nothing Frankie.”

“Maybe not but I owe it to Sophia, she is still her mother.” Frankie stands and makes his way towards her.

Pope comes to sit beside you, “hermosa are you ok?”

“What if she wants him back Santi? I can’t lose him or Sophia, it would break me.”

“Hey, now you know Fish is smitten with you, your the love of his life, she may be Sophia’s biological mother but your her mom.” You curl into him trying not to cry.

Suddenly raised voices can be heard from inside. Pope turns to you, “hermosa I think you should go in there.”

You leave the group and make your way to Frankie and the closer you get you can make out what’s being said.

“Oh so your going to let that whore raise my daughter, I don’t think so.”

“No. You do not call her that, Y/N is not a whore, that women is my everything and she’s more a mother to Sophia than you will ever be. You abandoned us, don’t forget that, because I never will. If you want to start seeing Sophia, we can discuss it with a lawyer but don’t think for one second that there will ever be anything between you and me, because there won’t. I’ve moved on, I’m happy, I am going to marry Y/N and we are going to build a home together.”

“Oh come on, Francisco…..baby, your telling me you don’t want a piece of this anymore, you don’t want to fuck me again.” Having heard enough you open the door and Frankie pushes Helena off of him. He comes to stand beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Get out Helena, your embarrassing yourself.”

“Fuck you Francisco, this isn’t over.” With that she storm out, slamming he door behind her.

“Baby are you ok?” Frankie turns to you and pulls you into a kiss.

“Yeah baby, I’m fine, I love you.”

“I love you too. She can’t take Sophia away, what are we going to do?”

“Hey , look at me baby, I’m not going to let that happen ok. It’s me, you and Sophia against the world, always.”

“And maybe one more?” You stare at him lovingly and move his hand down towards your stomach.

“Well then we better get working on that then,” he says peppering kisses all over your face.

“Actually..” He pulls back and looks at you expectantly

“Are you…are we…”

“Yeah, we’re about to become a family of four”. Frankie lifts you up and spins you around. “You have just made this old man very happy. I love you, both of you, he says placing his hand back on your stomach.

“Wait until we tell Sophia .”

Previous part

Tagging:

@lunaserenade @asta-lily @day-off-inkyoto @librariantothejedi @anaaaispunk @elinedjarin @maievdenoir @kirsteng42 @loserrlauraa @thorins-queen-of-erebor @dihra-vesa @javierpinme @seasonschange-butpeopledont

*if you want to be added or removed let me know*

[uwuwriting]

Dabi w/ his kid

Request: Omg I just imagine how the reader gets a kid with Dabi (if possible) and the kid would always be like:”BURN THEM!” And try laughing like those cartoon villains to show how much of a villain they are. I can’t stand the adorableness- also tries to get attention from his father as much as possible and wants to join his work in the league 😂 (what am I even creating with this??) - @melmellimelon​

So adorableeeeee!!!! I’ll be using the name and gender of the child in those time traveling children hcs since we have the character ready. Oh I love imagining them with kids its so soft!!!!! Love ya.💖💖💖

rules

warnings: fluff, maybe one curse word

-Um so Kyro was a surprise. 

-You and Dabi were together, you were exclusive and you in fact loved each other. 

-Dabi made that clear when he wouldn’t let you go on missions without him or when he asked you to move most of your stuff to the small apartment he had in the city. 

- “Why do you look surprised? I don’t live with these dickheads 24/7.”

-Kyro um...happened way into your relationship. 

-It was around the time Shiggy started to put in motion his grand plan.

-He had talked to the league about his four month absence and how after he was ready they would strike. 

-Dabi had noticed how you zoned out and fiddled with your fingers whenever you guys had a meeting. 

-It was if you had something to say but always regretted it. 

-Then you started throwing up and avoiding him. 

-The last straw was when he came home one day and found the bathroom and bedroom empty, all of your stuff was gone. 

-He panicked at the sight and started calling and texting you. 

-When you finally answered, he was out the door and had already gone to two of the possible places you might be.

-On his third guess he was right. 

-It was a bookshop near your previous apartment. 

-He used to always find you here before you moved in with him. 

-Without hesitation he wrapped you in his arms, letting out a long held sigh and peppering your face with kisses. 

-He realized you were crying then, you soft sobs being swallowed by his hug as your tears wet his shirt. 

- “Doll, what happened?”

- “I’m s-sorry Dabi I don’t know how this .....”

-Your sobs were getting more intense so he decided to take you back to your apartment and then he would try to understand what was happening. 

-Once inside he sat you on the couch and wrapped you up in a blanket before sitting next to you and placing you on his lap. 

-He managed to calm you down enough to get some things out of you and you felt him physically freeze under you. 

-Pregnant.....he had gotten you pregnant.

-Well....shit. 

-He came back to his senses when he felt your sobs intensify again. 

-Rocking you back and forth he brought a hand to massage your scalp as the other was placed on you stomach. 

-You calmed down and buried your face in the crook of his neck, some sniffles escaping your lips as you tried to cherish what you believed were the last moments you would get to spend with him. 

-You were ready to tell him that he didn’t have to worry, that you would be out of his hair in no time but he beat you to it. 

- “You are NOT going on that stupid mission. I’m not having the love of my life AND my child run into danger like that.” 

-He kissed your forehead and pushed the blanket off your head, wiping some stray tears away. 

- “Now, what is mini Y/N craving?” 

- “You already think it’s a girl?” you laughed. 

- “Just a hunch.”

-Well his hunch isn’t worth shit because it turned out to be a boy. 

-You dropped out of the mission with the excuse of having some more important things to take care of.

-Toga and Compress my have had caught on to something, mainly due to the fact that Dabi wouldn’t let any of them get near you. 

-So, just like that, you disappeared form the face of the planet *and the eyes of the LoV and AFO* and stayed at your place, with Dabi coming and going trying like crazy NOT to raise any further suspicion. 

-You were already like one and a half month pregnant so when Dabi had to leave for the mission you were around your seventh month. 

-He didn’t want to go anymore and you didn’t want him to leave but he kinda sorta had to. 

- “And if anything happens don’t hesitate to call me, I’ll answer if it’s you.”

- “Yes baby.”

- “A-and don’t you give him my name if something goes wrong, stick to the name we decided.”

- “Shut up or you’ll jinx it you idiot! And if something does happen I’ll name him whatever I want, you won’t be getting a say anyways.”

-When Kyro was born thankfully the mission was over and Dabi was alive but in jail. 

-He made a plea deal since he had you and Kyro to care for and he swore to whoever was listening that he would get back to you no matter what. 

-Now it’s five years later and your little boy has turned into a mini Touya which freaks Dabi out. 

-Red hair, turquoise eyes and a blue flame quirk....a mini Touya I kid you not.

-He has tried to convince you to dye his hair black but you turn him down every time. 

- “I’m not ruining my five year old’s hair you lunatic!”

- “But why??? The black brings out the turquoise in his eyes. Besides look at me I’m smoking hot with black hair and-”

-He was hit by a pillow.......he stopped talking after that. 

-Now Kyro adores his dad. 

-When I say adores I mean it!

-He tries to be just like him.

-Since they have the same quirk he begs his dad to teach him new things.

-He even goes as far as to dress like Dabi, all dark and broody. 

-This is no news to you, you know your son is a daddy’s kid so you are not surprised when you come home to both of them running around the living room in matching outfits. 

-The TV was blasting some cartoon fight.

-That’s when you notice it. 

-Dabi is repeating what the cartoon hero is saying while Kyro is portraying the villain. 

-Everything is going according to script until the hero wins the fight over the villain.

-Your two boys look at each other before jumping on the couch and shouting, at the top of their lungs, “BURN THEM HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!” 

-You are wheezing and that’s when they notice you, leaping from the couch and tackling you to the floor. 

- “We caught you doll!”

- “Yeah you can’t escape us now mom!!!”

- “Sure you might have me pinned....but can you hold your ground?”

-You start tickling Kyro making him roll off of you. 

-Dabi is watching the scene unfold in front of him. 

-If someone told him five-six years ago that he would be here, happy, with a son that loves him to the moon and back and a woman who was most likely his soulmate, he would have laughed maybe barbecued you.  

-Seeing as he was missing out on the fun, he wrapped one arm around your waist and one around your son before lifting you both up and carrying you to the couch. 

- “I vote for a movie marathon and sushi take out. Those who agree say aye!”

- “AYE AYE AYE DAD AYEEEEE!!!”

-I think your boys are demanding sushi....

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​

[averyonelovesjack]

learning to raise a baby ~ daniel seavey

requested: yes:)

Can you please do an cute imagine about y/n and Daniel having a baby together and taking care of the baby and figuring the parenting stuff out together. Ur amazing

summary: follow a few different events in the life of daniel and y/n learning to raise a baby.

warning(s): baby, literally too lazy to edit this i’ll come back later lmao

word count: 2608

author’s note: i have such baby fever omg 

disclaimer: i def need to clarify that i am 18 years old and do not have a baby and i have no close friends with babies (in person, at least) therefore this is purely fiction. i watch a LOT (i mean A LOT) of family vloggers and like teen mom accounts raising their kids, so basically all of my knowledge comes from that. i hope no one takes offence to my depiction of it, but my intention is purely just to write this cute fic idea, and i don’t want to pretend like i know anything about parenting or raising a child or anything like that!! okay that’s all!!

I could barely see my feet as I painfully took in another breath of air and started walking forward. Awoken at 3am with terrible back pain and a pool of amniotic fluid at my waist, Daniel and I now rushed to grab our hospital bag and make our way to the labor and delivery section of our nearest hospital. 

everything went so fast. before i was actively having a child, it felt like my pregnancy would never end, but now that it’s actually happening and i’m having a child, it felt like pregnancy flew by.

just a few days ago, i was sitting on the countertop in my bathroom, impatiently waiting to see if i was pregnant or not in hopes that daniel wouldn’t get home from the studio early and find me. i had just given daniel the surprise of his lifetime when i woke him up at four am to tell him i was pregnant because i just couldn’t keep it from him anymore to do a fun reveal. i remember how we both cried, too excited to even go back to sleep. 

just a few days ago, daniel and i were sitting in my obstetrician’s office as we got to hear our eight week old fetus’ heartbeat for the first time. we both cried. it feels like just a day or two ago we cut into a pink colored cake and found out that our precious baby girl would be coming. all of the breakdowns about what stroller to buy and which crib matches the nursey best felt like just moments ago. and now, all of a sudden, i’m ten hours into labor and i’m ready to push.

pushing was painful, but the thought of holding a sweet babygirl soon just kept me going. daniel squeezed my hand tight, standing by the end of the bed watching our beautiful daughter make her way into the world.

i gave the final push and soon i heard a cry that made everything in the whole world worth it. they say you never truly understand love until you’ve had a child, and as soon as i held our daughter, i felt an overwhelming sense of truth in that statement. i never knew such a distinct moment could be the greatest day of my life, but as soon as i laid my eyes on her, i knew that i would never get a day greater than this one. 

our daughter laid on my chest for a while as daniel sat by my head, holding both my hand and hers. eventually, the nurses cleaned her off a bit and wrapped her tightly in a swaddle for daniel to finally hold his daughter. i watched the tears fall from his bluer than ever eyes that never left her little face. by the way she settled in his arms and fell asleep, i knew i was going to have a daddy’s little girl on our hands. 

it felt like forever, just watching daniel and our baby getting to know each other. soon enough, though, the doctors finished with the stitches and i heard a knock at the door. 

within seconds, both of our parents came into the room, bearing wide smiles. daniel sat in the seat next to me, both of us staring at the beautiful baby in front of us. 

“does she have a name?” keri asks, slowly walking up to the two of us, careful not to be too loud. 

daniel and i look at each other, and then i give him the nod to tell everyone. “callista avery mae seavey.”

“our little baby callie.” i smile at the name. daniel and i both loved the name callie, but wanted it to be a nickname. avery was after his bandmate who really helped us through this whole preparing to be parents thing. mae was a pretty nickname from my side of the family that was good to separate avery and seavey. our little callie mae. 

***

it was three am and both of us were awake to callie’s loud screaming. turns out that daniel and i had a very colicky daughter who, when awake, wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. daniel was in the nursery trying to grab more diapers and wipes that, out of exhaustion, we forgot to restock last night when we ran out. i held callie in our arms, rocking her gently and trying to get her to go back to sleep. 

“does she have a dirty diaper?” daniel asks, placing the diapers in the corner of our messy bedroom. a few days into callie’s life, we realized we should’ve left the changing table in our bedroom until she was ready to sleep in the nursey, but both of us were too tired to even think about moving the furniture around. so for now the corner of the room was storage and a changing pad on the bench was our late night changing table. 

“i don’t think so.” i answer, giving him an exhausted look. “her diaper isn’t heavy and i tried to feed her, but she doesn’t seem to be hungry. i think she just woke up and is being colicky again.”

“how long did the doctor say the colic will last?” daniel asks. 

“she didn’t.” i sigh, going to take a seat on our bed as i continued to calm callie. daniel sat beside me. “go back to sleep, i got her.”

“no, i know you’ve been awake all night. try to go to sleep, i’ve got her.” daniel says, and then takes callie from me. “did you take melatonin tonight?”

“yeah.” i say. “i know your body goes through a lot of changes postpartum, but i’m really not liking the insomnia.”

“okay, well, you lay down, and i’m gonna sing to you both, okay?” daniel says and then starts to rock callie to sleep as i laid beside them. and then he started to sing softly. 

***

callie was born a little over three months ago and daniel and i haven’t had a date night since then. when we fearfully realized that last week, jack and anna were both quick to offer some help. we hadn’t felt comfortable leaving callie yet, especially since she wasn’t always the easiest. we had lots of help and people offering, but neither daniel nor i were good at asking for help. that’s definitely something we’re both still working on, especially now that we have a baby. 

finally though, jack and anna convinced us. originally, we were going to leave them with daniel’s parents, but anna and jack were pretty convincing. jack had lots of experience since he himself is a dad, and anna was very close with gabbie when she had lavender. jack also decided to invite zach for some more company, which was cute.

daniel and i had a hard time saying goodbye to callie, even though we really were only going to be out for two hours at most. we knew neither of us could stay away for that long. 

the restaurant wasn’t too far from the house, which was nice because it cut down on our time away from callie. i think both of us were a little nervous to leave her. we both know that she’s three months old and other people are more than capable of watching her for a few hours, but it’s still hard to not be worried about all of the things we could be missing out on.

“oh my gosh, anna just sent a picture of callie.” daniel says in the middle of our dinner, holding up his phone to show up me the picture of our daughter in the adorable pajamas her aunt bought. 

“i miss her.” i admit, knowing he was feeling similarly. “do you think they had a hard time getting her to sleep? i hope she’ll be good for them tonight.”

“i’m sure she was fine.” daniel says, then later . “you know, maybe we should skip dessert. relieve them a little early.”

“she’s growing up so fast.” i tell him. “i’m not ready for her to keep growing.”

“we’re gonna blink and she’s gonna be cursing us out because we wouldn’t let her go out with her friends.” daniel continues. “not that we would do that, because honestly, i’ve always thought we’d be a little cooler than that.”

i laugh at his comment. “oh, we’ll definitely be cooler than that. we’re not gonna be the lame strict parents that doesn’t let their kids go out with their friends.”

“oh definitely.” daniel agrees. “except i will be strict about doors open if someone is over. i don’t care who she’s in her room with, but that door better be open. i am taking no chances.”

“i feel like that’s fair.” i add. “i know we’re parents, but wow, until i think about that future, i kind of forget.”

“i’m very glad that’s a long ways away.” he comments. “i’m barely ready for her to be three months old, we do not need to get ahead of ourselves. take this parenting thing one step at a time.”

“i could not agree more.” i smile, leaning over the table to kiss daniel’s lips gently. 

***

i walked out of my one year old’s nursery with her in my arms. we watched as daniel and anna hung balloons up around our california apartment. it’s just about an hour before callie’s first birthday party, and now more than ever, i could not be more grateful for daniel’s family’s offer to help us set up. 

rather than fighting with figuring out food for the party, we decided to get it catered. christian and tyler offered to go pick up the food at the restaurant for us, which was extremely helpful. his parents were setting up some decorations around the front of the apartment. 

i had just put callie in her adorable dress that i specifically picked out for this party. we weren’t the type to throw parties, so we weren’t 100% sure what to do or what to expect, but we decided to just stick to family and close friends. callie was too young for us to strictly invite her friends over. at this stage in her life, her friends were whoever was at mommy&me that week. 

the party was going to be small. daniel’s family, my family, daniel’s bandmates and close friends, and then my close friends. 

thankfully, we finished decorating and setting up with about thirty minutes left to spare before the party. rather than worry, i decided to just sit on the couch with anna and daniel. keri took callie from me, wanting to spend some time with her granddaughter, and giving daniel and i a brief break before the party started. 

“i cannot believe she’s a year old.” anna exclaims to me. “you guys have been parents for a year. that’s crazy to think about.”

“it’s definitely a little bit weird.” i giggle in response. 

“you guys make it look so easy, being young parents.” anna says. “i know i’m younger than you guys, but still, i cannot imagine having a kid anytime soon.”

“i didn’t think i would either.” i tell anna. “for me, i wasn’t really ready until i met dani. i realized that i was ready because i wanted to do this with him. it’s different for everyone, i’m sure, but at least personally, that’s how i knew we could be parents.”

daniel wraps his arm around me on the couch, kissing my cheek softly. “yeah, it’s the same for me. when you find someone you want to do everything with, it gets easier to imagine yourself parenting together.”

“that is really cute.” anna says. “this is what i mean, when i say you make it look easy!!”

“it’s definitely not easy.” i laugh. “but it’s a little bit easier when you work as a team. we talk things through and decide together, instead of just making decisions separately. it’s a lot easier to feel like you’re making the right decision when you talk things through.”

“and that is all the parenting advice you get, because while i am most definitely ready to be a dad, i am not ready to be an uncle.” daniel says, getting protective over his younger sister. 

“being an uncle is way easier than being a dad.” anna laughs. “but trust me, i’m not having kids any time soon. at least not intentionally.”

“well, i have to be the cool uncle. someone’s gotta bail the kid out of jail and hide it from you.” daniel jokes.

“first of all, why would my kid go to jail??” anna asks. “and second of all, you might’ve been first in the race for cool uncle before callie arrived, but since becoming a dad, you’ve fallen behind. the cool uncle can’t have kids, that’s not how that works.”

“well i’ll break that standard, because i’ll be the cool uncle.” 

“i just want to be the aunt that gives good advice at one o’clock in the morning.” i tell them. “someone’s gotta do it. i expect that for callie, anna, so i will do that for your kids.”

“oh, of course. nothing but the best for callie. and future kids.” anna agrees. “speaking of, future kids? any thoughts on that? mom wants me to scope that out.”

“eventually.” i smile. “sooner rather than later.”

***

daniel took callie on a walk. he’s been really adamant about spending at least thirty minutes a day on a walk with her. now that she’s getting a lot more balance and ability to take a lot more steps, he loves taking her to the playground a few blocks from our apartment. usually, i like to go with them, but today i made up an excuse about things i had to get done at home.

i felt especially grateful for that routine of his today, because i needed a few minutes to myself. i’ve been feeling particularly nauseated recently, and as soon as i woke up the other day, i could feel that i was pregnant again. in the past, i had always thought that when i was paranoid about being late, but now that i’ve actually experienced pregnancy, i can feel that there’s a little fetus inside of me.

daniel and i haven’t exactly been trying, but we haven’t been taking as many precautions as we were when callie was first born. now that she’s over a year old, we feel better about having another baby. we weren’t too rushed, because we lot spending time with just our little girl, but we didn’t want to wait too long and have her grow up without a sibling. having a sibling was always a priority of daniel and i’s. seeing as we both grew up with siblings, we know how important it is to have a sibling. 

my stomach fluttered with butterflies as i followed the instructions on the pregnancy test. after realizing i was pregnant with callie, i had bought a ton of tests that i didn’t end up using because it was so obvious that i was indeed pregnant. that was extremely helpful for right now when i don’t have time to go sit in traffic for thirty minutes just to go to the pharmacy. 

i sat on top of the counter, leaving the pregnancy test face down while i tried to scroll through tiktok and distract myself. it was probably the slowest five minutes of my life, other than finding out about callie. 

the timer went off on my phone. i take a deep breath and carefully lift the pregnancy test off the marble bathroom counter.

pregnant. 

[jackandjackiekennedylover]

Bill Skarsgård Twin Daughters

Imagine you being Keith Urban daughter and have one night stand with Bill Skarsgård and you end up pregnant with Bill's baby and you find out that Bill in a relationship and you posted a picture on Instagram and Bill sees it.

You are the daughter of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman and you did something that you thought that you would never do in your life.

You and your boyfriend Ben had broken up after four years of being together. So you had gone to a bar and drink away your sadness and hurt.

You didn't know at the time bc you were drunk out of your mind. You had slept with Bill Skarsgård and you were hoping that nothing will happen after that.

You weren't on birth control and you are pretty sure that Bill didn't wear a condom.

Shit, You said as you look down at the positive pregnancy test in your hand.

What the heck am I going to do now, You mumbled.

Are you ok, Your friend Kristen said .

No, I am not, You said.

What's wrong, Kristen said.

You show her the pregnancy test.

Fuck. What are you going to do and is Ben the father, Kristen said?

Not exactly. I was hurt and I had got drunk and I had slept with someone, You said.

Fuck. Who did you sleep with, Kristen said.

Bill Skarsgård, You said.

Kristen's eyes widened.

Shit. I hope that you know that Bill is in a relationship and has a daughter with his girlfriend, Kristen said.

I didn't know that, You said.

What are you going to do? Are you keeping the baby, Kristen asked?

Yeah, I am keeping the baby. His family just got bigger, You said with a smirk.

Oh uh. I don't like that smirk and what are you up to, Kristen said.

I am going to post the picture of the pregnancy test on Instagram, You said before you grab your phone .

Shit. What are you going to do if Bill sees it and comments on it, Kristen said.

I don't give a fuck what Bill does, You said .

One minute later .

You had got a notification .

Hey. Can you check that please, You said as you finish up your make up.

Sure, Kristen said as she checks the notification on your phone.

Fuck Fuck, Kristen said as she saw who the notification was from .

What wrong, You said.

Bill knows that you are pregnant, Kristen said .

How, You said.

He had commented on the post and said can we talk, Kristen said.

Shit. Let me see the phone, You said.

Here,Kristen said.

What are you doing, She asked?

I had messaged him on Instagram and told him yes that we can talk, You said.

This is going to be awkward, Kristen said.

Yes it is but Bill is the father, You said .

Woah. You are going to break your neck in those heels, Kristen said as she looks at your outfit.

( Coffee Shop)

Hi, Bill said awkwardly.

Hi, You said.

Thanks for meeting up with me, Bill said.

Yeah, You said.

Is the baby mine, Bill said.

Yeah, it is, You said.

Shit, Bill said.

I'm sorry if I ruined your life and you're relationship and you don't have to be in the baby's life, You said.

It's ok. I want to be in him / her life y/n, Bill said.

If you do. You and your girlfriend might break up after this and it my fault, You said.

It takes two to make a baby. I will just move on if Alida and I break up, Bill said.

I don't want to ruin your guy's relationship, You said.

Y/n, Bill said .

You two have a daughter together. I don't want to break up her parents, You said.

( Two weeks later )

Bill Skarsgård and long-time partner Alida Morberg have broken up after five years of being together and the couple has a two-year-old daughter named Oona together.

Is Y/N Urban the reason behind the couple breaking up?

Is Bill Skarsgård and Y/n Urban having a child together?

Knock.

I'm coming, You said as you open the door.

Bill. What are you doing here, You said .

Can I come in, Bill said

Yeah. Come in, You said as you watch him walk in .

I'm guessing that you had heard the news about Alida and I breaking up, Bill said.

Yeah. I'm sorry Bill, You said.

It's ok y/n, Bill said.

No, it's not ok. I'm the reason behind the breakup and it's my fault, You said.

You need to stop blaming yourself. It takes two to make a baby and I was about to break up with Alida anyway, Bill said.

Why. You two have been together for five years and you two have a daughter together. Isn't your guy's daughter going to ask why isn't her daddy here, You said.

I'm taking Alida to court over Oona anyway, Bill said.

Omg, You mumbled.

I want you in my life and I want oona to meet her soon to be brother or sister, Bill said as he lays his large hand on your stomach.

Oona might be a big sister to two brothers or two sisters or maybe both, You said with a smile.

Wait what, Bill said as he looks at you.

I'm pregnant with Twins Bill, You said.

Omg. I'm going to be a father to twins, Bill said with a smile.

Yes, you are, You said.

Wow. Three kids at the age of 30, Bill said.

You will be 31 when they are born, You said.

Don't remind me, Bill said .

Oona will be 3. When the twins are born, You said.

Her birthday is October 1st. Do you know when you are due, Bill said.

October 4, You said.

You could have the twins on Oona's birthday, Bill said.

I don't want to take away her special day, You said.

You wouldn't take away her special day. You would be giving her the best birthday present ever, Bill said.

Ik but I'm not her mother and I will never be, You said .

Alida was will always be Oona's mother but If Oona wants to call you mom only If you want to be called that, Bill said.

Maybe, You said.

It might be a little different since You are going to have Oona now and Alida isn't in the picture anymore and Oona is going to ask where is her mommy at and what you are going to tell her, You said.

I will tell her that Alida will see her on weekends, Bill said.

The next day.

In the case of Oona Elizabeth Skarsgård ( Idk Bill's daughter middle name ), I grant Bill Istvan Günther Skarsgård full custody of Mr .Skarsgård and Ms .Morberg's daughter, tthe case is Dismissed, The judge said.

No, Alida yelled .

Why didn't I get her? I'm her mother, Alida said.

Come on, Bill said as he had Oona on his hip and took your hand as you two leave the courtroom.

April 21, 2021

You and Bill are going to find out what the twins sex are today.

You were hoping that it was two boys. You want to give Bill two sons since he already has a daughter.

Hello. I'm Dr.Jackie and I will be your doctor during the pregnancy, She said.

So. You two are here today for finding out the sex of the twins am I correct, Dr.Jackie said.

Yeah, You said.

Just lay back and pull up your shirt a little for me, Dr. Jackie said.

This might be a little cold, Dr.Jackie said as she puts the ultrasound gel on your stomach.

You and Bill look up at the screen.

There are your babies, Dr.Jackie said as she points at the screen.

You look at the screen with awe.

Do you guys want to know the sex, Dr.Jackie said.

Yeah, we do, Bill said as he grabs your hand.

Congratulations It's twins girls, Dr.Jackie said with a smile.

I'm getting two more daughters, Bill said with a smile.

Here are your pictures, Dr.Jackie said as she hands you the pictures.

Your next appointment will be on May 11, Dr.Jackie said.

As you two walk out of the doctor's office. Bill had grab your hand in his and you two didn't see the paparazzi taking pictures of you two leaving the doctor's office .

[secret-rendezvous1d]

mobile masterlist.

ORIGINAL STORYLINE meeting and dating. - the coffee shop incident; harry and the missus meet for the first time. - hot-tub quickie; harry and the missus have sex in jeff’s hot-tub. - anal; harry and the missus experiment with anal play. - sunburn; the missus gets badly sunburnt. - clingy cuddles; harry and the missus lay in bed together on a rainy day. - anne’s icloud hack; personal photos get leaked online. - injury; harry comes home from dunkirk with a bad hand. - big toe tattoo; the missus makes fun of harry’s tattoo. - pool handjob; the missus gives harry a handjob in a greek pool. - surprise dinner; harry surprises the missus with a homecooked meal. - first time oral and ice play; harry eats the missus out for the first time. - another man photoshoot, 2016; the missus joins harry on his photoshoot. - red coat; harry wears a red coat during sex. - timing; harry cums prematurely.

- break up novella, part one. - break up novella, part two. - break up novella, part three. - break up novella, part four. - break up novella, part five.

- for when you’re missing me; the missus records something special for harry.

engaged and married. - getting permission; harry asks the missus’ parents for permission. - choosing the engagement ring; harry goes and picks an engagement ring. - proposing; harry asks the missus to marry him.  - telling the families; harry and the missus announce their news to their families. - telling the boys; harry and the missus announce their news to the boys. - early ideas; harry and the missus discuss their wedding. - first concert; one direction are back on tour. - walking around together; harry and the missus stroll around cardiff. - poolside loving; harry and the missus get intimate in a hotel pool. - sick; the end of the tour and harry falls sick. - bridal party and groomsmen; harry and the missus pick their chosen ones. - venues; harry and the missus talk about potential venues. - cake shopping; harry and the missus go cake tasting. - suit shopping; harry goes suit shopping. - dress shopping; the missus shops for a wedding dress. - stag-do and hen-party; harry and the missus celebrate before their wedding. - the wedding; part one. - the wedding; part two. - reception party; harry and the missus celebrate their wedding day. - honeymoon; harry and the missus honeymoon in santorini. - reminiscent; harry and the missus reminisce over the past. - simba; harry introduces the missus to what simba means.

pregnancy, labour and delivery. - talking about having a baby; harry and the missus discuss starting a family. - baby making; harry and the missus make love to make a baby. - “we’re pregnant”; harry and the missus find out they’re pregnant.  - news; part one. - news; part two.  - “did you know?”; harry talks about their baby. - twelve weeks; the missus hits twelve weeks. - bump; harry notices her bump for the first time. - award shows and fan greetings; the missus joins harry at the ama’s. - flights home and belly flutters; the missus feels the baby kick for the first time. - gender reveal; harry and the missus find out they’re having a girl. - names; harry and the missus discuss names. - cravings; the missus wants to eat weird food. - nursery; decorating the nursery begins. - protective; harry gets worried. - pregnancy frustrations; the missus doesn’t handle the heat well. - jamaican babymoon; harry and the missus and gemma and michal head to jamaica for a quick getaway. - “she’s not longer out little secret, is she?”; harry and the missus announce their pregnancy to the world.

baby (0-3). - happy birthday, missus; harry and persephone surprise the missus. - chewing daddy’s fingers; harry doesn’t mind alfie teething on his fingers. - ears; persephone has an ear infection. - newborn; harry changes persephone’s first nappy. - birthday boy; harry celebrates his birthday with his family. - valentine; harry and the missus go out for valentines. - insecure; harry feels insecure.

toddler to teens (4-19). - sick daddy; harry’s sick and persephone cheers him up. - fight; alfie walks in during an argument. - alfie’s eighteenth; alfie celebrates his eighteenth birthday. - a-level results day; persephone receives her a-level grades. - accidental accident; rose has an accident in front of connor. - kidneys; rose struggles with a urine infection. - sheets; harry catches rose washing her sheets in the middle of the night.

adults (20+). - welcome to the family; persephone introduces jack to her family. - great parents become grandparents; persephone and jack announce their pregnancy.

*

harry tags. - harry talk. baby love.

- 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018.

- gucci campaign, 2018. - gucci campaign, 2019.

- live on tour, 2017. my show - eventim apollo, october 30, 2017.

- live on tour, 2018. my show - london’s o2, april 11, 2018.

- bbc radio one’s live lounge, 2017.

*

au tags.

frat-boy harry. - broken promise. - party.

college dad harry. - “i’m pregnant, harry”. - ella.

divorce (completed). - settling for divorce. - “i miss you”.

soldier harry (completed). - letter. - home.

the missus and little mix. - apple music festival. - get weird tour. - the brit awards, 2016. - the brit awards, 2017.

single dad harry | harry bakes. - the one with the meeting. - the one with the first date. - the one where harry might experience more heartbreak. - the one with the third date. - the one where asher is sick. - the one where yn meets asher. - the one where yn meets harry’s family.

- best friend harry. best friend harry, single mum yn and elias.

- x factor harry. teen-dad/x factor harry.

- university student harry.

- big brother harry.

- teacher harry. teacher harry, single mum yn and isabella.

- professor harry.

- doctor harry.

- neighbour harry.

- gang harry.

- inexperienced pornstar harry.

- fifty shades.

- alex.

- the walking dead au.

- ceo yn.

- painter yn and photographer harry.

*

blogmas, 2017.

december 1st, 2017. P first Christmas

december 2nd, 2017. Omg please do more Persephone and jack for blogmas!! I am in love with them. Maybe something where jack and P are out shopping and they split up in a department store and Jack starts walking around and looking at engagement rings and H and the missus go over and have a little chit chat with him?

december 3rd, 2017. Maybe at Christmas Eve after being with H and his family for a couple of days the whole Styles family and the missus would be sitting under the Christmas tree and opening presents. There would be a little box with the name of our lady and inside of it there would be a promise ring and Harry would be the cutey he is and go up to the missus and tell her a little monologue then put the ring on her finger.

december 4th, 2017. Harry and the miss being best friends and he takes her home to celebrate Christmas and he takes her virginity on Christmas Eve.

december 5th, 2017. Harry and the missus and the kids spending Christmas at a vacation

december 7th, 2017. Alfies first xmas

december 8th, 2017. Oh but imagine harry giving his girlfriend a border collie or rough collie or a husky puppy (i love) for Christmas because she had dogs her whole life but now she’s away from home and miss them so he surprises her with one amd she’s crying (I would cry so much) but then she’s like “oh no I can’t have her at my flat :(” so he tells her to look closely and there is a key to his house around the puppy’s neck

december 10th, 2017. I just love the idea of them having a brand new baby around Christmas time

december 11th, 2017. btw, you should write one a about Uni Harry and Y/N spending Christmas with Y/N’s family for the first time and him begin all awkward at the begging and everybody asking them how they met and what his goals in life are and yeah I think that’d be reallyyyyyy cute

december 13th, 2017. Set in 2017. The missus Amelie and Harry spend Christmas with Gemma and Anne and Michal at Anne’s Home x

december 15th, 2017. for blogmas or regular hazza begs for a date night after one of the baby is born like 1 year old

december 17th, 2017. How about the missus and Harry spend Christmas at her home and Anne is really sad

december 18th, 2017. Maybe one where Darcy tells the family she is pregnant on Christmas Day after all the struggles she’s been through?

*

blogmas, 2018.

december 1st, 2018. someone else mentioned pubes talk, and I thought it would be hilarious if Harry was trying to do something romantic like cooking a Christmas Eve meal but naked and there was singe-ing (not singing!).

december 2nd, 2018. Are you doing Alex requests for Blogmas? If so, maybe his and Y/N’s first Christmas together since the war and he decides to propose to her?

december 3rd, 2018. what about pornstar harry making a festive christmas special w y/n?

december 4th, 2018. What if the missus gives Harry a gift on December 1st and it’s like an advent calendar but each day is a new position/place to have sex up until Christmas.

december 5th, 2018. Could you do maybe a sadder one after Ellie and Alfie’s miscarriage and for Christmas they all cheer him up

december 6th, 2018. Maybe they’re in la for Christmas one year because of Harry’s work when Persephone is like 4 and she’s missing the snow and does like being away from the UK for Christmas and harry just feels really bad like he ruined Christmas

december 8th, 2018. Did doctor harry having to work on Christmas

december 9th, 2018. First Christmas together and Harry is under the weather trying to act healthy.

december 10th, 2018. angst should be best friend harry! where they get in a fight about her flirting and being with someone else at a christmas party when she already kinda had an “unsaid” thing with harry where they’re friends with benefits but she didn’t know how he really felt plssss uGh

*

additional tags. - nsfw  - cockwarming - instagram prompts. - yn’s tour instagram prompts. - text prompts; 1 - 99 | 100 - 199 | 200 - 299 | 300 - 399. - what are they doing now? - who is most likely to? - would you rather? - gemma styles. - fionn whitehead | fionn talk. - louis tomlinson. - liam payne. - niall horan. - videos. - harry fantasies. - recommended writers and stories.

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#21)

Things are really heating up!! This is my post for 4x10 + 4x11~

Tami really is the Mother of Dillon; Tim brings Becky to Tami when he doesn’t know what to do about her pregnancy like damn 😭

Ah Big Mary finally came around to the field?! It’s kinda really endearing that a bunch of the old East Dillon alumni are sitting watching the practice now after how this season started

Ugh I recently watched when Karen thought Lucas got Brooke pregnant and slapped him on one tree hill; this Becky scene with her mom has the same energy. The whole teen moms not wanting their kids to make the same mistake trauma ahhh it’s A Lot

Ohhh no did Vince’s mom relapse?!?! Young Michael B. Jordan at his mom’s bedside is so good damn 😭

Fuck Texas law for forcing this doctor to tell Becky the age of the fetus. She wants the abortion! This doctor would be a true hero if he didn’t follow that law. “Supposed to listen to some right wing doctor?!” Same.

God fucking dammit the state facility waiting lists are too long to take Vince’s mom! The system is set up to fail Black and Brown families.

Eric Taylor’s friendship with Big Mary is so funny to me. “You’re telling me I can’t coach the kid because I’m not black.” Eric, that is certainly not what he said I can’t with you

The Riggins brothers are gonna BURY stripped car frames?!

Ew I hate Ryan. And Eric does too.

DEDDDD

Like I truly cackled through this whole scene omfg

Damnnnn Jess having some madddd feels about Big Mary treating Vince like a son 🥺 poor girl

LMAO Tami way to scare the living shit out of Eric waking him up at 3 am with a sentence that includes a hypothetical Julie pregnancy

“This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.” Gotta agree with you on that one, Tim. (Also they’re having a real ass talk while burying these car frames!!!!! Lol)

Awww it was Becky’s first time having sex with Luke? That’s so rough.

“Do you think I’m going to hell if I have an abortion?” “No honey I don’t.” Damn these women are so blessed to have Queen Tami Taylor in their Texas small town!!!

I’m glad Becky is getting the abortion and I’m glad she made sure it was her decision after all that pressure from her mom!!! woof

Ah Big Mary finally showed up to his son’s game and is yelling the same things on the sidelines as Jess?! 🥺

Oh I’m so glad Vince found a way to get his mom in rehab, my heart (do we know how he did it tho? Did the gang help him, given the cash?) ....and got it, oh babe are you indebted now 😭 noooo

OMG Buddy on El Fuego is tooo muchhh I’m dying

Uh oh Luke and these painkillers is creeping back in to become a problem...

HOLY SHIT we get to see Saracen in Chicago???? Oh how I’ve missed him! He looks so cute in a scarf! Awww he has a photo of Julie up in his lil apartment?!

Oh we love Eric listening to his interview about the panthers game while sitting in the car staring at the old field! This show is so gooood like damn

Is Luke’s injury finally catching up to him now that he doesn’t have the painkillers to help him work through the pain?! Man this dude is having a rough semester, he was just dealing with a pregnant sexual partner too!

O H N O I had a feeling Luke’s mom coming in to ask Becky about the abortion was not friendly....and yep now she wants to get Tami fired???? Ugh fuck anti choice conservatives

Saracen’s Chicago apartment is so idyllic wow

Omg can you imagine being Julie getting that call all those months later??? I get why she was so upset, he sounded so casual like BOY YOU GHOSTED

Landry’s mom asking what Jess thinks of Obama, so cringe!

Ew Luke Cafferty’s mom at his door like “don’t forget to say your prayers” as if she isn’t trying to ruin Tami’s life with her anti choice nonsense!!!

Yeeeesh Cheryl’s hitting on Tim?? did Cheryl not notice that Becky is clearly super into Tim 😬 this is so much, why is Tim stuck in a love triangle with a mother and her daughter.

W O W Luke doesn’t even know his mom went to talk to Becky, let alone is trying to get Tami fired...fuck, does Becky even realize what is happening??? She’s gonna be so upset when she realizes Tami is being attacked like this!

Yes go off Tami!!! “I gave her her options and I listened to her. That’s my duty as a principal and a human being.”

“Obama, really?” Lol same Jess

Yeah I’m sure this isn’t gonna get out even tho Tami is keeping her job. Im sure the anti choice nuts will take this loss graciously 🙄

Yes Luke, yell at your mom!! I’m so glad he’s defending Becky and Tami! That was not your grandchild, it was a bunch of cells. Relax.

Tami and Eric’s marriage is so pure. Tells her about her victory and he kisses her. “What are you doing tonight?” “Nothing.” “I’ll go get the wine.” “Okay.”

Oh noooo Luke is literally in Carroll Park asking random ppl for Oxys nooo. Damn this season has covered *so* many social issues so seamlessly! The fuckin opioid epidemic, check.

Also guess that whole cleaning up Carroll Park thing didn’t work Eric Taylor!! which duh

Oh Matt babe I’m excited for you but you should’ve maybe not taken off without telling someone you were dating for years?!

Oh the angst!!! “Matt, we were together for almost four years. I know almost everything about you.” DAMN she is really giving it to him!! ugh warranted even tho let’s be real Saracen looks like he’s thriving in Chicago! they’re better off spending this time apart to ~grow~

Aww tinker is really looking out for Luke! this is pretty heartwarming that they’re defying the coach’s plays just to protect Luke bc of his injury.

....Ugh I knew he’d push it too far, babeeee

“I think I’m moving out.” Yeah Tim probably a good life decision.

Oh fuck now Cheryl is making assumptions and going off??? Bitch he did not sleep with your daughter!!

After watching The Wire for four seasons, this operation Vince is indebted to looks so weak sauce. But yikes nooo his friend got shot!

...anddd here comes the press about the abortion controversy. Saw that coming!

Oooof bad timing to want to stay for another drink, Eric.

Omg poor Vince. his best friend died and his mom’s in rehab??? My heart 🥺

[tb5-hellbound]

here is a long ago conversation about talented amateurs, between me and a much better writer

if it’s of interest to anybody, here’s a long ago conversation I had with a very dear friend (and the best writer I know), about this story and the shape of it. it probably would’ve taken place around November of 2018, which is wild to remember. My daughter was 3. I was in the middle of moving house. TAG still hadn’t aired S3. I came to know so much about this story that it’s surprising to remember that I didn’t know when I wrote the first chapter that it even WAS a first chapter.

and not featured here, but still necessary to thank personally for putting up with similar ramblings over the course of the past two years are @space-baegel, @scribeofred and @drdone. 

Anyway. Here’s a behind the scenes glimpse at what I knew in November of 2018. Thanks for reading <3

Prelude 9:27 pm also i have another 2k in TA Kate 9:27 pm and you do not have enough hours in the day Prelude 9:27 pm and they are about to have a Big Talk Kate 9:27 pm OOOOH KHNDFKLVGERUILG i just got SO excited Prelude 9:27 pm no and I have a small person sitting on my lap yelling SUPER JUMP SUPER JUMP and not finishing her pizza Kate 9:28 pm hahshaaha she is my spirit animal except i would have finished the pizza in the first 30 seconds Prelude 9:29 pm hahaha yeah she got distracted by puppy games on her phone Kate 9:29 pm oh well then that is understandable Prelude 9:30 pm the problem is she still sits on my lap and she weighs forty pounds she is 3’6" and people think she’s a six year old Kate 9:31 pm she sounds exactly like my cousin sam she’s going to be TALL Prelude 9:31 pm oh yeah freakish Kate 9:31 pm are you and hubby tall? Prelude 9:31 pm oh yes Kate 9:31 pm both? Prelude 9:31 pm I’m 5’9", he’s 6’1" Kate 9:31 pm ahhh yess Prelude 9:32 pm I’m the shortest member of my family, although that may have changed Kate 9:32 pm but good height comparison between the two of you Prelude 9:32 pm My sister tells me she’s 5’7" I do not believe Kate 9:32 pm i would like to be 5’7" or even 5’5" Prelude 9:32 pm oh no kate are you tiny i write Penelope as very very tiny Kate 9:32 pm yes, i relate like in TA when you wrote that bit about gordon hovering above her i am her height Prelude 9:33 pm ehehehehehe Kate 9:33 pm so i could completely visualize it Prelude 9:33 pm niiiiice i love me a good height difference Kate 9:33 pm i mean anyone can visualize it but i mean i have been there lil lol i like guys at like 5’10" Prelude 9:33 pm Not Too Tall Kate 9:34 pm the 5’9" or 5’10" is great for my height YES EXACTLY Prelude 9:34 pm She wears like crazy high heels also like she’s wearing platform stilettos half the time. Kate 9:34 pm right i used to, i miss heels Prelude 9:34 pm i love a girl in Good Shoes Kate 9:34 pm i like opportunities to wear heels i haven’t in like a full year ME TOO! Prelude 9:34 pm (spoilers gordon is going to discover that he has a bit of a Shoe Thing) Kate 9:34 pm OH YES I AM READY Prelude 9:35 pm hahahahaha you just sit on the sidelines and cheer everytime I say these sinful things about this very good boy Kate 9:35 pm because i am the biggest, biggest fan of said sinful things Prelude 9:35 pm good, you keep me going Kate 9:35 pm really, just the biggest fan Prelude 9:35 pm It is very helpful Kate 9:35 pm i will be your cheerleader i am that peron person that wants the gritty stuff i want the details Prelude 9:36 pm bless your heart but also like I don’t think I’ll ever get to SMUT territory Kate 9:36 pm keeps me going Prelude 9:36 pm I just like writing like Kate 9:36 pm right Prelude 9:36 pm passions Kate 9:36 pm not that i would expect you too Prelude 9:36 pm not that I couldn’t either Kate 9:36 pm but you tow the line like where you are with TA is Prelude 9:36 pm I walk that tightrope Kate 9:36 pm perfect Prelude 9:36 pm the artful cutaway Kate 9:37 pm b/c then it’s really all left up to the imagination to fill in what you please yes! Prelude 9:37 pm the “oh by the way I can hold my breath for four minutes and I played clarinet in highschool” like Kate 9:37 pm i like that more than actual smut Prelude 9:37 pm subtle yknow Kate 9:37 pm LOL Prelude 9:37 pm see, you get it 😉 Kate 9:37 pm but you say things like"fuckfest" and it makes me happy b/c the deed was done, but again your imagination fills in the details Prelude 9:38 pm exactly and honestly the hardest thing about writing this stuff is writing what they’re both actually doing because I can’t just have the pair of them lying there but i’m very bad at visualizing I need like a pair of very bendy barbies artist doll things Kate 9:39 pm i like it when it’s right there, right at the edge, but then you (as the reader) take it there b/c we all have our own ideas and interpretations of events and what should happen and the way it happens Prelude 9:39 pm yeah! Kate 9:39 pm lol right Prelude 9:39 pm like, i will give you all of the bricks and all of the mortar you fit 'em together Kate 9:39 pm yes, love it! Prelude 9:40 pm ahhh but also like Kate 9:40 pm aw dang now i need more, prelude Prelude 9:40 pm well I mean also like, talking about the terms of their relationship and the fact that they’re going to have a relationship or at least see what happens Kate 9:41 pm i need it okay Prelude 9:41 pm oh man kate if I keep it going there’s gonna be So Much drama with Scotty Kate 9:41 pm like romance is also my New Thing okay like WAIT WAIT WHAT ABOUT DRAMA WITH SCOTT Prelude 9:42 pm oh yeah Kate 9:42 pm TELL ME MORE Prelude 9:42 pm if Gordon gets Penny pregnant, Scott is gonna rip him the fuck in half Kate 9:42 pm BUT LIEK like i don’t care i need it i need to see how it shifts the dynamics for all of them Prelude 9:42 pm oh yes it’s gonna be like, to the point of massive overreaction, almost for a Reason Kate 9:43 pm but that fits with scott i would expect that from scott does it have to do with age Prelude 9:43 pm well, i think for Scott the thing is that he like got a girl pregnant when he was in high school Kate 9:43 pm with scott stepping into dad role OMG YES keep going i am so excited Prelude 9:43 pm and she didn’t keep it, and that was for the best Kate 9:43 pm there are 5 boys in this family you can’t tell me an oops didn’t happen at least once Prelude 9:44 pm But he hates himself for being so irresponsible and stupid and impulsive and young Kate 9:44 pm yes yes yes the scott/gordon dynamic i am fucking HERE for it Prelude 9:44 pm me too But this is also just such a huge thing for Penelope because like her whole life and this was just supposed to be a sort of “well we’ll see” kind of a thing and the first impulsive night they have together, the unthinkable happened and of course she’s not on birth control, she hasn’t been in a serious relationship in a couple of years now And why would he have brought condoms to his grandma’s birthday party and they both should’ve thought about the potential for this consequence, but there’s such an afterglow and it seems more important to think about their relationship and neither of them figured this could happen Kate 9:46 pm right right and passion is like a real fucker that changes everything Prelude 9:47 pm no pun intended Kate 9:47 pm HA Prelude 9:47 pm and they were both looking forward to that courtship phase like Kate 9:47 pm but passion is a fickle bitch, it’s all about the moment she comes for even the most sensible Prelude 9:48 pm the thing that’s going to happen in this chapter is that she’s going to say “okay, let’s do this right. would you rather I took you out for valentine’s day or for your birthday?” “And would you rather go to Paris or Nice?” Kate 9:48 pm oh man grabby hands i’m super excited for the scott parts of this like i love the g/p part too obvs but what scott would go through would be a big Thing he is very emotitonal Prelude 9:49 pm oh yeah Kate 9:49 pm emotional Prelude 9:49 pm I think like Gordon doesn’t know about Scott’s thing And like john or somebody sort of has to take him aside and quietly explain Kate 9:50 pm also, you may not have ever even gone here, but due to my recent obsession, that then makes me think of virgil and kayo if they’re messing around too to be careful shit happens any of them, really, i guess Prelude 9:50 pm oH yeah Kate 9:50 pm i wanna be inside scott’s head when the news comes out Prelude 9:50 pm no they are fanatically careful and they are like Kate 9:50 pm so they are like straight up doing it though? Prelude 9:50 pm no, they’ve been doing this for like a year and a half No one knows Kate 9:50 pm like they are THERE Prelude 9:50 pm Oh yeah They are total fuckbuddies Kate 9:50 pm OH WAIT really? that long?! Prelude 9:51 pm oh yeah Kate 9:51 pm wow, that’s even ebtter better Prelude 9:51 pm no, they have a Thing They have a System Kate 9:51 pm also, i am super impressed that they kept it quiet for that long Prelude 9:51 pm Oh yeah Kate 9:51 pm which makes sense considering kayo Prelude 9:51 pm Yeah, entirely Kate 9:51 pm is special ops or whatever Prelude 9:51 pm I think Virgil’s just like I mean Kate 9:51 pm but like, i dunno, i love it Prelude 9:52 pm I think he’s the place where everybody else goes with secrets Kate 9:52 pm and i kinda like looking at the various dynamics Prelude 9:52 pm but he’s insanely good at keeping his own Kate 9:52 pm of what is and what isn’t YES i’ve always headcanoned virgil that way too Prelude 9:52 pm I think Somebody might know about Virgil hahahaha I also kind of I mean like Kate 9:52 pm wait tell me about the system Prelude 9:52 pm there’s a place I wanna go with Virgil Kate 9:52 pm i am sorry Prelude 9:52 pm haha I don’t know much yet Kate 9:52 pm i hijacked this conversation Prelude 9:52 pm but it’s like no no, it’s cool Kate 9:53 pm from pen and ink to virgil Prelude 9:53 pm No, I gotchu fam Kate 9:53 pm and kayo lol but i have thought lots about the first 2 Prelude 9:53 pm I think they have like Kate 9:53 pm and v/k is new and exciting for me lol WAIT THIS PLACE TELL ME MORE Prelude 9:53 pm hahaha well like I mean, it’s meant to be sort of an overall examination of relationships in the family Kate 9:53 pm yes yes Prelude 9:54 pm and how some of them know some things about each other and some of them know other things and some things are secret Like, Scott/Jane have a secret relationship, but I think like Alan knows or something Alan also still kind of has a thing for Kayo, but he’s aware that it’s dumb and he needs to get over it but he’s still gonna be really hurt if he finds out about her and virgil Kate 9:54 pm awww yeah Prelude 9:54 pm And then like I waaaaaant like Kate 9:55 pm poor ala alan just in general Prelude 9:55 pm like, there’s sort of two major ships with Virgil are V/B and V/K. and I kinda wanna go both places. I think Virgil is bi, but people tend to assume he’s gay. And I think maybe for a while he and Brains were kind of a thing, but also with that same sort of secrecy, and not like, in the fuckbuddy kinda way. I think they did more like traditional dating, just out of curiosity. But that hasn’t been a thing in ages, and they basically came to the conclusion that they’re happier as friends. Kate 9:57 pm hmmm would you try to explore both within this universe? Prelude 9:57 pm I think so. Kate 9:57 pm like the TA universe? wow! girl, you’ve got your work cut out for you! Prelude 9:57 pm Mostly just because I want Gordon to get mad as hell at Virgil, for having fooled around with the only two people on the island that they’re not related to, “you enormous lumberjack slut.” like, i want FIGHTS Kate 9:58 pm hahahahahha Prelude 9:58 pm “you beefy plaid whore” Kate 9:58 pm i don’t know why, but i have a hard time seeing brains in any sort of relationship with anyone Prelude 9:59 pm Yeah, that’s fair Kate 9:59 pm maybe it’s because i never formed an attachment to him? Prelude 9:59 pm I hear you Kate 9:59 pm or because he’s always like WORK SCIENCE OOPS Prelude 9:59 pm I mostly like the idea of Virgil being secretive about his personal relationships to the point that people assume he doesn’t have them. Kate 9:59 pm but also i LOVE the insults from gordon you beefy plaid whore HHAHAHAHA so virgil/kayo would end up coming out? Prelude 10:00 pm “you flannel strumpet” “there are two people on this island you don’t share dna with and you fucked both of them” (he didn’t, actually) (also scott knew about virgil/brains being a thing and this is why he thinks virgil is gay) Kate 10:00 pm like a total accident? how would gordon know? i wanna see this fight Prelude 10:00 pm Oh yeah, they’re in better shape than anyone else Kate 10:00 pm hahahaha Prelude 10:00 pm I think it comes out in one capacity or another Kate 10:00 pm hahahhahahaha the insults are amazing how would scott feel about that? Prelude 10:00 pm Either Virgil owns up for some reason, possibly to keep Scott from really tearing into Gordon Kate 10:00 pm with his whole secret jane thing oooh you know that is EXACTLY what virgil would do try to reason Prelude 10:01 pm i think there’s a massive blow out Kate 10:01 pm ooooh no i’m getting even more invested in v.k now Prelude 10:01 pm and Virgil grabs John and is like “okay, I’ll take Scott, you take Gordon.” Kate 10:01 pm like, what happens from there OOOH OOOH Prelude 10:02 pm i think V probably goes to Kayo and says “okay, i think I need to talk to Scott about us” Kate 10:02 pm KEEP GOING TELL ME MORE Prelude 10:02 pm And she’s like “MMMMMMM NOT SURE I DIG ON THAT, THERE IS LITERALLY A SMOKING CRATER WHERE GORDON WAS STANDING” “yeah but that’s why we gotta” I think John’s a bigger factor for Gordon vs the whole potential parenthood thing because I’ll always write him as aro/ace But he’s also the person with the closest analogue to a child, in EOS Kate 10:04 pm okay okay although, scott too Prelude 10:04 pm Oh yeah Kate 10:04 pm kinda assuming father role Prelude 10:04 pm Oh totally Kate 10:04 pm oh man oh man sarah Prelude 10:04 pm “I’m just telling you what Dad told me when I did this” Kate 10:04 pm you have no idea the kind of feels i have right now OH OOOH MAN Prelude 10:05 pm Gordon being like “excuse me, I did not knock up a cheerleader I’d known for three weeks in the back of Grandpa’s truck when i was seventeen” Prelude 10:06 pm “if the great state of kansas had an age of consent any younger than sixteen, what you did would’ve been statutory” then probably there’s some punching Kate 10:06 pm ooooh shit lol yeah yeah, there’s definitely some punching Prelude 10:07 pm hahaha oh man i just wrote a line Kate 10:07 pm OH DID YOU NOW Prelude 10:07 pm “Not much for sleeping late, then?” she inquires, curious more than she is critical. “Personally, I’ve got a terrible fondness for a good lie-in.”

“I get nervous when I don’t know what time it is,” he admits, a little sheepishly. “I mean—it doesn’t matter. S’just…I dunno, I’m all hungover. And we’re supposed to be outta here by noon. And—and I don’t mean to keep coming back to it, but my entire family, Penelope. Right outside your bedroom door. My grandmother. We weren’t supposed to get her anything, but like…happy birthday, Grandma! I slept with our London Agent.”

“Well, if it helps, it was well after midnight before anything of consequence actually happened.” Penelope tilts her head slightly (adorably), and seems bemused by the concept. “But then, it does beg the question—is that something she would consider a gift?”

Gordon shrugs. “There’s a reason Grandma rhymes with drama.”

On the topic of drama, her answering sigh is exaggerated, but tolerant. “Yes, because you’re an American and you pronounce everything incorrectly.” Kate 10:08 pm lol penny but seriously, i LOVE this and i love the direction it’s going and i love everything i know about the overall shakeup for the family Prelude 10:09 pm oh yes I’m very excited Kate 10:09 pm i can’t describe to you how excited i am for all of this!!! Prelude 10:10 pm hahaha good! motivate me! Kate 10:10 pm how?!?! i’ve done LOTS of screaming!!! lol Prelude 10:11 pm hahaha i mean you are! you are super motivating me Kate 10:11 pm YAYAYAYAY!!! i’m a sucker for relationships and analyzing them throwing wrenches into them lol Prelude 10:11 pm yeah! also Gordon and Grandma and “grandma i fucked up” and just like Kate 10:12 pm OH my gosh yes!!! Prelude 10:12 pm being so upset at how this changes what he thought was goign to play out like, he wanted the chance to fall in love with her i mean, more in love with her but like, to do it Right Kate 10:13 pm right, follow kind of the natural course Prelude 10:13 pm and to have to figure out how to make their relationship work out between their respective jobs because I also think she’s like “I don’t want an abortion” Kate 10:14 pm and the added pressure of distance Prelude 10:14 pm I kind of don’t think that’s in her nature Kate 10:14 pm or how to come together like at least v/k are on the same island Prelude 10:14 pm yeah, exactly Kate 10:14 pm i would assume too, for penny, there’s some sort of expectation of how things should be like, from a social standpoint from a name standpoint Prelude 10:15 pm Yeah, exactly she’s just like staring down the barrel of this scandal and like she’s run into a crumbling south american temple without batting an eye but this scares her Kate 10:16 pm yes that makes perfect sense things are going to change moving forward, forever but there’s really no way of knowing how things will play out Prelude 10:16 pm And their family is so private like so incredibly private she’s lived her whole life in the public eye and he just hasn’t aaaaaah and like man Kate 10:17 pm yesss there are so many factors at play Prelude 10:18 pm he wants so much to do right by her, and like, he already loves her enough to marry her but now he doesn’t know if he should ask or what she’d say if he did or if she wants that Kate 10:18 pm and emotions are so high that i’d think that’d impact a lot like as far as asking for marriage Prelude 10:18 pm also preggo hormones yeah, exactly and like Penny being told that she can’t do that secret side of her job any more she has to be just a socialite Kate 10:19 pm and i’d think maybe this might challenge the nature of their jobs? for anyone involved? Prelude 10:19 pm oh yeah Gordon’s gonna get benched Kate 10:19 pm yeeeep good thing they don’t need him for things like deep sea rig explosions Prelude 10:20 pm wELL not like Penny can do it either Kate 10:20 pm right but that’s what i mean they both do these kinds of things Prelude 10:20 pm exactly Kate 10:20 pm but now adding a child brings in a whole lot more to think about and i am thrilled to see how it plays out!!! Prelude 10:20 pm and now they both have each other on the sidelines Kate 10:20 pm ahhhhhh!!! Prelude 10:20 pm yeah!!! i gotta!!! write it!!! Kate 10:20 pm on the sidelines YES and the virgil/kayo Prelude 10:21 pm “go have a tea party with penny or whatever it is she does” oh yeah Kate 10:21 pm i hope you know you’ve created a monster and i will NEVER let this go even if it takes YEARS AND YEARS Prelude 10:21 pm I think v/k going like “…well should we try and be a thing now? like a real thing? like stuff is changing, should we take that opportunity?” Kate 10:21 pm i’ll always be there, whispering in your ear HAHAHA Prelude 10:21 pm “…what if we don’t work as a thing?” Kate 10:21 pm YES YES and it would be virgil that makes the proposition, yes? Prelude 10:22 pm Oh yeah oh man Grandma taking Gordon aside and being like “the only reason your mother and father got together was because Scott was conceived in a hayloft when your dad was twenty-one, he can get off his high-horse.” “And there are five of you and your parents loved each other more than anything.” Kate 10:22 pm was it intiially like, one of them that said ‘let’s just keep it where it’s at’ or like, very adamantly keep it as fuckbuddies on the dl Prelude 10:22 pm “this doesn’t have to be a disaster” Kate 10:23 pm YES Prelude 10:23 pm I think Kayo is a little bit scared to be caught keeping another secret from the boys. Kate 10:23 pm GRANDMA FOR THE WIN Prelude 10:23 pm and also being like “your dad never meant for IR to be your entire lives” Kate 10:23 pm at least she has virgil in it with her and if anyone is sensible in that family, it’s virgil yes 😔 ir really is literally everything Prelude 10:23 pm “you’re meant to have partners, you’re meant to have your own futures, you’re meant to grow up and learn how to make this a part of your lives and not the totality” And like Kate 10:24 pm impacts ALL areas of their lives Prelude 10:24 pm the core of the reason why any of them keep these secrets at all is because they’re afraid of how it would impact IR and Dad’s legacy Kate 10:24 pm oh my gosh sarah i am fucking here for it and fucking pumped!!! Prelude 10:24 pm and none of them want to be the guy to ruin that. hahahahaha ily kate you complete me Kate 10:24 pm <3 Prelude 10:24 pm i am down to talk about this always Kate 10:24 pm ME FUCKING TOO cuz see, you’re looking at what comes next, and what happens later, not just right now and i fucking APPRECIATE THAT Prelude 10:25 pm oh yeah I am a Big Picture Person and I am very much about the interplay of all these relationships Kate 10:25 pm ugh me too Prelude 10:25 pm and how these different connections form and also like Kate 10:25 pm YES Prelude 10:25 pm unexpected connections Kate 10:25 pm and they’re all getting older Prelude 10:25 pm Like Kate 10:25 pm and things change Prelude 10:25 pm exactly! like it’s so significant that Gordon goes to her intially because he’s like “i need to start getting over you” Prelude 10:26 pm and she’s like “well first you’re gonna be under me for a bit” Kate 10:26 pm and if they’ve found someone that they could make a life with, it’s important that those things happen Kate 10:26 pm b/c of fulfillment and everything Prelude 10:26 pm exactly! and like This is the break scott’s been waiting for, even if he doesn’t realize it And he’s gonna be in this massive funk and he’s gonna be like “I’M GOING OUT FOR SOME AIR” Kate 10:27 pm YES! KEEP GOING KEEP GOING Prelude 10:27 pm and he’s going to fly across the globe to whatever airport Jane is spending the night in and be like Kate 10:27 pm GOOOOO KEEP GOING Prelude 10:27 pm “my fucking little idiot brother knocked up an english socialite” Kate 10:27 pm omg omg Prelude 10:27 pm “let’s get MARRIED.” Kate 10:27 pm i love this Prelude 10:27 pm “that’ll teach him.” Kate 10:27 pm this is literally what i live for omg ahhahahahaha scott Prelude 10:27 pm “he’s not the only stupid impulsive idiot in the family” Kate 10:28 pm hahahaha i love it omg Prelude 10:28 pm And Jane’s gonna be like “slow your roll, babe 😃 " “ily but you’re dumb as hell when you’re mad.” like that Scott’s found someone outside the family who does what Virgil does for him in IR in like an emotional capacity Kate 10:29 pm YESSS omg beautiful i love love love these things Prelude 10:29 pm saaaaame Kate 10:29 pm and like, above all else, these boys DESERVE this Prelude 10:29 pm yeah!!! Kate 10:29 pm they deserve love and something to indulge in and get that ultimate fullillment outside of what they know Prelude 10:30 pm and also I want Penny to go to John first with the news that she’s pregnant because bffs and also I think he’s just who she calls when she’s in trouble Kate 10:30 pm that makes sense and i thought she would cuz bffs hahahaha Prelude 10:30 pm well and also because that was where she went when she first kissed Gordon Kate 10:30 pm right follows patterns Prelude 10:30 pm and i live for callbacks yes also i just like Kate 10:31 pm yes i’m like in my glory right now thinking about it all Prelude 10:32 pm really love that she would trust him and would be correct in trusting him and that he’d be the person to say “well, I will help you handle this however you want to handle this and no one else has to know” “but also please don’t keep this from Gordon, because if he ever finds out any other way he’ll literally die.” “i cannot explain the degree to which this would hurt him and i know you don’t want to hurt him.” Kate 10:32 pm yessss yes Prelude 10:32 pm also parker is going to be Furious Kate 10:33 pm ooh i never really even thought about parker! Prelude 10:33 pm yeah, I keep remembering him at the last second Kate 10:33 pm there are so many players involved and so many lines to follow so many people impacted Prelude 10:33 pm yessssss i live for that shit hwd is like that Kate 10:34 pm like, nothing anyone in this family does only impacts that person Prelude 10:34 pm so complicated so many relationships Kate 10:34 pm or that couple there are repercussions for EVERYTHING any of them do that impact EVERYONE else Prelude 10:34 pm Exactly and deep down at the core of it, it’s just that they all want to protect each other Kate 10:34 pm yes comes from a good place and i’ll never think they’re in the wrong for wanting something more Prelude 10:35 pm and also none of them can BELIEVE that they’ve all been keeping these sorts of secrets with varying degrees of success Kate 10:35 pm i did laundry today and i missed one half of 6 pairs of socks lol Prelude 10:35 pm hahaha Kate 10:35 pm right!?!?!?! Prelude 10:35 pm skillz Kate 10:36 pm like, the kayo/virgil one is kind of mind blowing based on sheer length and thought that goes into it and keeping sage safe Prelude 10:36 pm oh yeah Kate 10:36 pm and secret like shit Prelude 10:36 pm they’re both just like I think they almost get more satisfaction out of the secrecy of it than any other aspect Kate 10:36 pm it’s kind of daunting lol Prelude 10:36 pm Like the sex is fine and great and whatever But what’s almost more fun is that they’ve gotten away with it for so long they’re both kind of competitive and they work really well together as a team and Virgil likes getting one over on his brothers and Kayo feels incomplete if she’s not keeping SOMETHING secret like it probably started up shortly after they found out about her uncle like Kate 10:37 pm oooh Prelude 10:37 pm if that’s the way the context of their relationship changes like that whole sort of “well, at least now it’s easier not to feel like we’re the only family you have” Kate 10:38 pm oooh yes yes yes dude there is so much to explore Prelude 10:38 pm I knoooooow Kate 10:38 pm also like how the hell do they keep quiet? in the literal sense Prelude 10:38 pm it’s a big island Kate 10:38 pm on an island eh true i bet they have A Place Prelude 10:39 pm little huts on the beach TB2 is Pretty Big Kate 10:39 pm but also like, if something really tough happens, do they sometimes just NEED tht touch, that reassurance i think they got the best end of the stick Prelude 10:39 pm (hahaha Gordon: “IN THE CO PILOT’S SEAT. I SIT THERE.”) Kate 10:39 pm they’re both right there HAHAHAHAHAH hahhahaha i love it so much Prelude 10:40 pm “ALAN’S SAT THERE.” “YOU’VE TAINTED OUR BABY BROTHER.” Kate 10:40 pm i don’t understand how my laundry piles up so quickly HAHAHAHAHAHA gordon questioning literally everywhre Prelude 10:41 pm “in MY POOL.” “DRAIN THE POOL.” Kate 10:41 pm hhHAHAHAHA this is my favorite part of that relationship everyone else finding out and gordon with his insults SO ENTERTAINING and i wonder if virgil keeping that sort of secret, in light of gordon seeking him out for a similar type of secret, would lead to some hurt feelings or if he’d be like, i gotchya bro Prelude 10:42 pm oh man i think the thing with Virgil is that like everybody trusts him but he also tells Kayo everything Because couples just do that. Kate 10:42 pm right, which she even told gordon LOL Prelude 10:43 pm exactly and so the thing with Virgil is going to be less that he kept his own secret and more that he didn’t keep anyone else’s. Kate 10:43 pm and like, even if they’re calling it ‘just a thing’ if it’s been a year and a half, like, they’re invested Prelude 10:43 pm oh yeah no, more than either of them realize Kate 10:44 pm that’s the shit i am 100% here for gawd i’m a total slut for that shit Prelude 10:45 pm ehehehe man and like the idea that maybe the secrecy was the only thing that kept them going Kate 10:45 pm also like, friends with benefits is great in theory but i really think it’s more of a short term thing Prelude 10:45 pm I think he’d probably try to argue that they haven’t ever been that. they’re definitely more than friends Kate 10:45 pm and when you don’t see them super often Prelude 10:46 pm like, her being really vulnerable to people knowing something so personal about her Kate 10:46 pm yes yes i think so too that’s a super vulnerable position to be in to even open yourself up to someone that much and put that kind of trust in them Prelude 10:46 pm and him being like “we’re still your family, you can still trust us” “nothing’s going to change about the way they feel about you” and her being like “literally everything will change about the way they feel about me.” Kate 10:47 pm right and more than friends i think has a really high probability of leading to more over time i think it was bound to happen Prelude 10:47 pm yeah, entirely Kate 10:47 pm they’re both right Prelude 10:47 pm I think the best place she could get to by the end of it would be “willing to try with a high hope of success” Kate 10:47 pm but like not in the way they expect, i think Prelude 10:47 pm yeah for sure Kate 10:47 pm i mean, this is just me thinking about it obvs Prelude 10:48 pm no totally, I need thinking about it Kate 10:48 pm also, i had a friends with benefits thing that turned into something more and it was a fucking mess so Prelude 10:48 pm Ooh see like Kate 10:48 pm that kind of impacts, for me, the way i see this playing out Prelude 10:48 pm the thing with me Kate 10:48 pm also Prelude 10:48 pm is that i have been in one (1) relationship Kate 10:48 pm why i am so attached to this idea of v/k and it just happened to be with virgil Prelude 10:48 pm and it has lasted for 14 years and we have a kid Kate 10:48 pm but like, the relationship itself is what got me hooked right, which by the way is fucking amazing!!! Prelude 10:49 pm hahaha thank you we got very lucky Kate 10:49 pm from my experience, and that that friends have had, it’s never easy, and it’s rarely clean Prelude 10:49 pm entirely Kate 10:49 pm even if the agreement is made at the beginning that it’s a ‘whatever will happen’ feelings change damn, memories lol you did get very lucky i think, i am also at the age, the ripe old age of 28, where these things are making a much larger impact on me like, the idea of finding someone or something as the next step 28 is a Year, man Prelude 10:51 pm oh yeah what the hell you’re only 28 you baby you infant Prelude 10:53 pm I’m 29, and I’m going to be 30 so I can say these things Kate 10:53 pm i was about to sya i am pretty sure you are not much older than me lololol Prelude 10:53 pm no, i am not but like I think that’s where Scott’s at I think he had a FWB thing with Jane but it turned into “well, now you’re the person I want to talk to at the end of every day” “even if you’re on the other side of the world” “and even if this is the least physical relationship I’ve ever had” “And usually I rely on that more than I rely on the other thing” Prelude 10:56 pm I think Scott’s been waiting for his moment for like this big reveal and whatever and he thinks that “I have a secret girlfriend and today is our six month anniversary” is going to be a big deal but possibly Gordon swipes that out from under him with “I got Penelope pregnant.” Kate 10:57 pm yes yes, that was one of my first thoughts, actually i feel like, scott’s secret is actually the last on the OH SHIT reveal list like, in order: Prelude 10:58 pm oh yeah Kate 10:58 pm 1: pregnant 2: 1.5 years sneaking around IN THE SAME HOUSE 3: 6 month relationship, not so physical Prelude 10:58 pm but like! the shame of it is, Scott’s so damn proud of himself because I think they started out as like Kate 10:58 pm right!! Prelude 10:59 pm she was just someone he’d bootycall occasionally and then it just got to be more Kate 10:59 pm and it’s good for him to have found that anchor Prelude 10:59 pm and his relationships don’t usually get to the “more” stage I think that was the mistake he made in highschool Kate 10:59 pm it is all very exciting Prelude 10:59 pm like he was seventeen and ready to marry this stupid girl Kate 10:59 pm but even with him, there are more complications Prelude 10:59 pm and her parents were like “NOPE.” Kate 10:59 pm b/c they do not live near each other so as far as more goes that can be hard, i’d imagine! Prelude 10:59 pm yeah, entirely I mean, I did the LDR thing for a few years with the husband Kate 11:00 pm dude and he (scott) totally would have Prelude 11:00 pm entirely he was young and stupid and he thought he was in love it would’ve been a dISASTER though Kate 11:00 pm aww poor scott lol yeah he wouldn’t be where he is! Prelude 11:01 pm no! Kate 11:01 pm and like the dynamics of the entire family would have changed!!! Prelude 11:01 pm and he would’ve had a horrible marriage that lasted a terribly short time and would’ve ended in a messy divorce because he cares way too much like, the way it worked out is still the best way it could’ve worked out but like, he also got a vasectomy as soon as it was reasonably possible (aaaaugh but also Grandma and Gordon sitting side by side at the edge of the pool, and he is just DEVASTATED.) (because Scott came down on him so hard, and even in spite of everything there’s this tiny tiny tiny little part of him that wants to be excited) (that thinks this is new and amazing and wonderful and maybe it means something) (and maybe it could be okay) (but like, Scott pulled the roof down on his head and made him feel like a bad person) (for something that was a mistake/accident) Kate 11:04 pm yesssss yes i see all of that Prelude 11:04 pm (and grandma being like “you know, you remind me very much of your brother and very much of your father right now, because I have been right here with both of them, and Scott was the cause of one of those situations and the result of the other. so don’t worry kiddo. it all works out.”) ('i’m going to have a very very pretty great grandbaby. those creighton-wards have some excellent genes.”) Kate 11:05 pm hahaa yes Prelude 11:05 pm (“and don’t tell your brothers, but you’re the cute one.”) Kate 11:05 pm i do love grandma tracy HA HAHA Prelude 11:05 pm (“best possible baby. let me get my phone, let’s look at your baby pictures.”) Kate 11:06 pm hahaha yes the comedic relief that is very much needed Prelude 11:07 pm For sure Kate 11:07 pm but also proof that things will be okay or that they can be okay that it can work out

[totallytubulargirl]

Pregnant 💙

Universe: 2016

Characters: Leonardo X Reader

Rated: PG-13

Age of TMNT: 25

Authors note: I hope you’re excited for the rest of them ! I had lots of fun writing these since I just had a baby! Also would you like to see me tackle one about abortion and the other about giving the baby up for adoption or just these types. Let me know!!!

Summary: You and your husband Leonardo have been trying to have a baby since forever when you finally get a positive pregnancy test.

You had been trying so hard for so long to get pregnant and finally in this Target bathroom, you found out you were going to have a baby. Positive. You were positive. Tears sprung in your eyes and you jumped for joy, squealing at the top of your lungs.

“What, OMG WHAT!?” Squealed April from outside the stall. She slammed her ear against your door as if that would give her some intuition as to what was going on. You opened it abruptly and she almost fell in but you quickly helped her back up. You looked at her, silently smiling with tears in your eyes and she instantly knew. April screamed.

“Oh my gosh!” She yelled, crying. “I can’t believe this I’m so happy for you!” You hugged each other and jumped up and down in euphoria. You and Leonardo were so scared that you could never have a baby. You’d been trying for at least a year. Every time your period came, you beat yourself up, wondering what was wrong with you. Why couldn’t you just give him a baby? But here you were, freaking out with your best friend about the fetus growing inside you.

“April, April, April!” You said, attempting to calm her down. “You can NOT say ANYTHING.” You wagged your finger at her.

“OMG how are you going to tell Leo?” A sly smile spread across your face.

“Well,” you thought. “We are at target.” April raised her eyebrow. “We could pick out a tiny little baby outfit and get a card and wrap it and give it to him as a gift!” April looked at you for a second before you both began squealing again and jumping for joy. You eventually managed to calm down and leave the bathroom in search of cute tiny clothes. April bombarded you with questions

“Who do you think it’ll look like?” She asked. “Boy or girl?” She smiled. “Imagine if it has your attitude and Leo’s fighting skills!” It was so exciting to think about all of this but the thing taking up the most room in your brain at the moment was Leo’s reaction. He was going to be so happy. Would he cry? Would he faint? Would he lift you up and shout it to the world that you were pregnant with his child? Anything could happen. It was hard picking out just one outfit. All the clothes were so tiny and so cute but eventually you and April made it to the sewers.

“The smell is going to ruin our gift before we even get there.” She complained as you shifted around with your phone flashlights.

“I know I hate walking there without the guys.” A few years back you and Leonardo had bought a house together but tonight he was visiting his family. You two eventually were able to make it to their humble abode safe and sound, regardless of the darkness and awful smells. All four of the guys sat at the dinner table with splinter, slurping away at some chicken noodle soup. You rang the little bell they had put in the doorway as you entered.

“Hi!” April blurted, too excited to hold her tongue.

“Hey babe!” Raphael exclaimed , as April jumped in his lap. Leonardo looked up at you with sparkling blue eyes and glossy green skin that together reminded you of a restless ocean.

“Hey gorgeous.” He got up from his spot and walked towards you, grabbing you by the hips and kissing you like he hadn’t seen you in months.

“Woah, woah, woah,” interrupted Michelangelo. “Just because you’re a married couple now doesn’t mean you can just flaunt your happiness all over the place.” He waved his fork in the air. “I see what you’re doing.” Leo rolled his eyes,

“Whatcha got there?” He asked, eyes glowing at the sight of his gift.

“I actually got something for you.” You whispered, trying not to give anything away. “Can I uh-“ you looked over at all the glares coming from the dinner tables, “borrow you for a sec?” Leonardo looked at them and then back at you and could tell it was really important. After dating for two years and being married for 5, Leonardo could read you like a book.

“Yeah ok.” Leonardo led you to his old room. Splinter had left it alone, leaving anything that was Leo’s in its place. It brought back warm memories of when Leonardo was merely a crush. Your first hug and first kiss happened in his room, it would only be fitting that your first child be announced in this room. “Are you ok?” He asked as soon as the door closed behind him. You took a deep breath and smiled.

“I’m actually more then ok,” you pushed the present into his arms. “I’m super excited about the present I got you,” you pressed your hands together. “I really hope you like it.” You smiled.

“Ok?” He definitely knew something was up. Leo carefully undid the ribbon as you watched, afraid that whatever was inside could be fragile. The wrapping paper popped open and on top of the tiny little outfit lay a stick. He picked it up, holding it close to his face. Shock hit him first. He quickly unfolded the second item. Clothes, he thought. He quietly set the gift aside and calmly walked to the door. You watched and could hear him running as soon as he got in the hallway.

“We’re having a baby!” You could hear him yell from the kitchen, screaming to his family that his child was to be born in nine months. You laughed in the room to yourself, silently clutching the clothes to your heart, ready for the future in front of you.

[tvcrt]

♪ { PETE DAVIDSON. CISMALE. POST MALONE. } Oh shit. Is that FALL APART by VERT on the radio right now?! I stan, omg. HE’S that HIP HOP/RAP solo artist who’s TWENTY FOUR years old. They’ve been in the game for THREE YEARS and have TWO ALBUMS out right now. I think they’re very HUMERUS and LIGHT HEARTED, but for some reason they come off as DISINGENUOUS and IRRESPONSIBLE in the tabloids. You mind if I turn this up? admin jaz. 22. est. she/her. ‘’

AND NOW MY SON FROM THE LOINS OF MY BRAIN. this is trevor vega aka VERT. again like this or message me and ima be all up in your dms like it’s henry cavill’s house. 

tw: drugs

trevor vega reynolds. good ol’ trev. he comes from a rough neighborhood new york and usually doesn’t correct you when you assume it’s the city.i mean you think rough new york neighborhood and there’s streets and gangs and government housing and police buuuut, trev’s really from just outside of the city. specifically, a mobile home neighbood of shady pines where he was born. literally, was born in the house. totally one of those “i didn’t know i was pregnant” moments with his mom. or rather, “i refuse to acnkowledge im pregnant”

mama reynolds is a piece of work. came from a pretty strict background in the bible belt, but when she was 17 off and married some dude who took her up to new york. by the time she was twenty, she was divorced and pregnant and didn’t know who the dad was. well she knew who wasn’t the baby daddy. her ex husband. he was an ass. she did have it narrowed down to three guys though. maybe the married neighbor who lived three houses down. maybe that mechanic up in the city. maybe that police officer from a few towns over. 

his lineage was something he wondered about a lot growing up, always looking to see if he saw himself in any of the men his mother had any contact with. did they have the same eye color? the neighbor was tall and lanky too, but he was blonde. the police guy, he had the same hair, before he went bald. 

life was modest, simple. tv dinners more often than cooked meals, got lunch for free at school instead of those fancy ass lunch boxes with little notes from home in them. he let himself in after school, his mother usually working late shifts at the senior center. kinda raised himself, honestly. mom was always working or entertaining some guy or nursing a bottle of beer until she wound up married again. 

they moved then, he had more money, they lived in an actual house. trev got a tv and a nintendo 64, nicer clothes and shoes than he could imagine. more kids at school wanted to talk to him, he stopped hanging out with his old friends, moving up the social ladder. sort of. his mom was happier, if you could call it that, how she talked way faster, had these bursts of energy and then crashed, spending hours in her room. did her best to be super mom, even tried to leave him notes and shit, but would pass out before she could.

and as quick as it all came, the money, the shoes, everything- it was gone again. he kicked them out, called his mom a whore- cops got involved it was a big thing and they went right back to the trailer park. 

trev would rhyme and rap for fun, mostly with  his friends, mostly to be funny. had always had more of an interest in hip hop and rap, he would get old records and tapes from his neighbor. an older guy, who’s grandkids didn’t really visit anymore, would let trev come over for dinner when his mom was working, eventually taught him how to drive a stick shift. but school was stupid. he understood the material but it wasn’t like any of that mattered, as his mom said. being smart didn’t mean anything, people were still assholes regardless. eventually, he dropped out, started working a job in the city, random things here and there

he was cleaning and doing maintenance at some lower end studio on the weekends for extra cash, got to know some of the talent, was good with jokes, funny. people liked to laugh and once a producer found out he rapped, let him hop on the mic and produce a track. White Iverson was about his all time favorite player and released online as more of an afterthought, ended up getting some traction and attention.

so trev did a few mixtapes before getting signed and just like before, when his mom got married, a whole new world opened up to him, a world he wasn’t willing to let go of this time. success came quickly, getting interviews and attention, all of a sudden people giving a fuck and caring about what he had to say. it was addictive, the high of it all, the success, the attention. without a doubt, it went to his big ass head. 

trev loves his life. almost way too much. surrounded by yes men, anything is possible. he dabbles in this and that for the sake of it and has a sort of a complex reputation, he’s talented yes, and funny, but he’s also a mess? like an absolute fool with way too much money and influence than he knows what to do with. he loves a good time, a good looking girl, and isn’t too concerned with what other people say or think. 

[zoestagg]

Ironman Cairns 70.3: The Bike & Run...

He put his arm around me and leaned in, talking low.

“This isn’t me being mean, this is just what we need to do.” I couldn’t be sure, but I think I recognized him as the man who asked last year in the middle of a monsoon in Indonesia, if I had another lap left. He continued gently, raising his voice just slightly to compete with my sniffles, “You’ve missed the cut-off, we don’t make them to be mean I promise,” I nodded, miserably. “But look, love,” I’m 99 percent sure he said something like that, if not the actual quote — the sentiment. “You are welcome to continue. You will be an DNF, but the course is open. Get out there and give it a go!”

I nodded again and carried my squished, hotel-made onigiri to the Run Out.

He wasn’t the only angel in T2, but we need to struggle through 90 km of biking before we meet her.

Where were we? Ah yes, fresh from having our hopes dashed in the inky foam of the Coral Sea. I found out after that Ryan had dialed up my mom on FaceTime to let her watch me pedal out, and when he saw that I was in a full hysterical breakdown, realized that there is nothing about my performance in any given triathlon that is safe going live. In the weeks since the race, I’ve had a realization about my relationship with the sport.

Being pregnant and giving birth is like a universally horrific and painful experience, right? And yet, there’s all these people out there with more than one kid. I was told it’s because “It’s so worth it in the end, you forget how awful it is.”

GIRL.

I remember every last excruciating millisecond of those 257 days. For that experience, that old yarn does not add up. BUT. Apparently I can spend a whole race scared and crying, and FAIL in the strictest sense of the word and come home and immediately pick races on the two continents I’m missing. (Ecuador and Cape Town, I’m coming for you.)

ANYWAY. We’re on the bike. I’d heard in the little performance art piece about the course the day before, that there’s a dude who just travels the world doing every single IRONMAN event, and he’s declared that the Cairns bike course is the most beautiful.

Oh, you beautiful tropical fish.

You can look anywhere but at the pavement right in front of you while you’re riding? What is that even like?

Someday, I’m going to start a very important translation service: taking the official Course Description copy and making it REAL. Here’s how they described it:

The undulating, and winding course will take athletes past Thala Beach Resort and Hartley’s Croc Farm to the turnaround point, approximately 6km south of Wangetti, before heading back to Port Douglas.

Here’s what it is:

Undulating STRICTLY means up and down, but there’s an undertone of gentle that… let’s just say on an out-and-back loop, there is no rejoicing in racing a downhill, there is only knowing that it will soon be a grueling uphill. The constant hills were tough, but what really ripped me to shreds was the texture of the road and the headwind. In the course brief, we’d been warned that the roads were “county roads” and that we’d be best to try to ride in the left-hand wheel rut. Like the pioneers did. I did not know much about the types of pavement before this race, but I now know that peculiar specifically to asphalt, is a soul-crushing theft of effort. I could NOT get a leg up on it. I pedaled and pedaled and watched my speedometer and worried.

I managed one successful water bottle exchange while still moving and felt like a (slow and wobbly) boss. The road up the coast and back was closed, blessedly. It took 30 miles or so, but eventually I stopped cringing and remembering the awfulness of last year with every course monitor’s scooter that roared up behind me, and I pedaled.

On the way back, I crested a hill and saw a tent. By this point, I was already doing the complicated math as to whether I was going to make it to T2 in time, and a guy stepped out from the tent and motioned with his hand.

OH GOD. IS HE PULLING ME OFF THE COURSE? IS HE GOING TO MAKE ME GET IN A SWEEPER WAGON?

“I just need to let you know,” he started…

NO NO NO NO NO

“That this is the top of the last hill!” He looked triumphant and helpful.

I started crying. Again.

I don’t know, fam, but I’m probably going to need some kind of special warning vest for next race.

Eventually, I was out of the winding coastal road, and on back roads in to town. Then, the wind kicked up. Now of course I didn’t expect the race to be a glassy pool and a spin bike in an air-conditioned room, but DANG. When they say Australia basically just wants to kill you, you don’t imagine your death will be from all the effort needed to overcome inertia, but here we are.

I hit what had to be one of the last aid stations, and wanted water badly. I hadn’t done a great job of eating on the bike, because eating at 20 mph is freaking hard, but I’d been hydrating pretty good. I considered trying to exchange bottles and then just stopped.

“I’m not good at this usually, and I’m really not good at it tired.” I explained to the nice volunteer.

Those last five miles… were peak struggle. Everything was screaming, I was sick of the wind, and I just wanted off the bike. Eventually I started seeing people on the run course. Oh yeah, I feel like THIS, and I have a half marathon to run now.

Fun vacation.

Bike: 4:22:55

All I remember about getting to T2 is that it was full of bikes already. Suddenly, a lady in a volunteer shirt materialized next to me.

“You all right? Brilliant job, let’s get you to your spot.” She steered me through the racks as I walked my bike in a daze of tears.

“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m just going to… I’m okay.”

I was trying to tell her my dismal scene needs I must act alone, but she wasn’t having it. She stayed next to my spot, chatting as I wobbled to get my bike shoes off. “Here’s the good news!” She continued. “While the cut-off has technically passed, you have loads of time!” There it was, the official proclamation that I’d busted. “One year,” she continued, “I only made it with ONE minute to spare. Another year, one of my friends took 12 whole hours to finish the Half, but he did it!”

Wait, I might be crying again…now.

“Why don’t you see what you can do? Start the run and see how it goes.” I got my running shoes and visor on, and slipped on my fuel belt. “You all right? Good luck, you’ve got this!”

I headed out, and got the official okay to keep going from the kindly course director at the beginning of this saga, and gingerly started to trot. This is where I finally felt like there was a part of me that could do this. All of the running off the bike all training cycle kicked in. I’d been WRECKED on the bike, and now I felt…okay?! What’s even happening?

I ran past Ryan and Frankie and told them I was going to give finishing a go, and trotted on. I WAS DOING THIS. The run course was flat as a pancake and packed with spectators. I started to catch up on the fuel I missed on the bike, and relished the full-fat Coke at each aid station. I wouldn’t touch the stuff if I wasn’t trying to kill myself physically in other ways, but when you are? It tastes like heaven. I had it on my Fuji climb last weekend, and can confirm — Gatorade, who?

There were still tons of 70.3 competitors out there when I started, but as they dwindled, I was VERY careful to make myself as invisible as possible. I stayed well out of anyone’s way racing the 140.6, hugging the shoulder of the path and waiting at the aid stations until they were totally clear before I approached. (The run course was on an esplanade with splash pools, which Frankie took full advantage of.)

Omg those aid stations when you’re not the last one on the course? STOCKED. The run was two laps of the same loop, so the second time through — finally feeling like I was going to very maybe finish this thing — I thanked the volunteers handing out watermelon, “This is my favorite restaurant in Cairns!” I had a lot of time to think on the course, and while I spent a lot of time feeling bad about taking so long, it occurred to me that if the race was only the fastest people, they would miss out on a heck of a lot of entry fees from us back-of-the-packers. While it’s weird to do a sport with professionals out there at the same time, I’d like to think by virtue of it being inclusionary, they can offer more amenities and support to everyone.

I don’t know exactly when I knew I would finish, maybe after the first loop, when my feet were still dry, there was no monsoon, and I was kind of feeling physically… fine? Fine-ish? I was IN THIS. No, I didn’t strictly run the entire way, but I kept moving forward, every single step that much closer to the finish line. Finally, I could hear the announcer and the bells and drums and cheering of the end.

Here’s where I put my finish in humiliating perspective: The woman who won the FULL had a faster time that me doing the HALF. I don’t know what to tell you guys, I’m slow AF. But I have a heck of a lot of Don’t Quit. I ran down the finish line shoot, with the guy on the microphone announcing my name. I got to the end, and he said, “It’s all right to stop now, you made it!”

And then I cried a little more.

Run: 3:30:24

Total: 9:11:22

I did all 70.3 miles of it this time, and THIS TIME, I got a daggone towel.

Triathlon takes a LOT of time. Not just racing one when you’re slow like me, but training. This was Ryan and Frankie’s race too. They let me disappear for half of every weekend day, they helped me get my bike on four different planes, they spent all day figuring out where I’d be when to cheer me on, and hung out on the esplanade for hours while I struggled away at the last 13 miles. And my coach, who kept me honest and on track and encouraged me the whole way, I couldn’t have done this without them. 

Triathlon IS a team sport, if you do it right.

(So I think in the whole “you forget how bad giving birth is” is because babies are so delightful? I mean, talk to someone who has both given birth AND eaten their first meal the day after a long-course race — this is not a comparison that works out well for babies if that meal is artisanal avocado toast and a Bloody Mary, I’M JUST SAYING.)

Part 1: The Swim...

[heartbreakdolan]

Daddy Ethan

Requested by @tidsoptlmist

Sorry this took so long babe xxx

So when his child is born, I think he’d be really quiet and speechless and in awe that finally, after thinkin about having his own kids for years, and planning a family with you since you’d been dating, and going through everything for the nine months you were pregnant, this tiny baby was finally here. And it was completely yours and his together. An actual person. I think he’d really be in awe of that, like the fact that there was a real baby at the end of all that. so when he held your baby, he’d be really careful and so gentle at first, his eyes lit up and biting his bottom lip as he reached out to take the baby from you, a little awkward because he’s never held a baby that’s his before. He’d just look at it as he cradled the bub in his arms; the tiny nose, tiny eyelashes, thin dark hair on top of its head, spit bubbles being pushed through tiny lips, the tiny hand with tiny nails that reached out and wrapped around his finger. He’d melt at that. He’d come and sit on the side of your bed, and you’d sit behind him, arm around his shoulders, watching your perfect baby. You’d feel such an intense connection to Ethan now that you had a child, and such a strong love for him and the way he was handling everything. He’d love to just look at your child the first few weeks, still so excited and in shock and awe that this was all real.

Ethan with toddlers would be another story. So he’d be super gentle and cautious with his newborn, but as his kid grew up a bit, he’d be so so playful, rolling around in the grass, chasing your kid around, playing games like hide and seek. If you had a girl, he’d dance with her and like let her put her feet on his as they danced around the kitchen. He’d teach your kids sports like football and stuff from a young age too, just to throw the ball around with them. He’d also always be picking your kids up, throwing them over his shoulder and giving them piggybacks and letting them sit on his shoulders. And you’d melt at that I think. Seeing his strength as he effortlessly picked your kid up and hearing them squealing and giggling as he does. Omg and imagine if you went to the beach with your toddler, Ethan would definitley buy a mini surfboard for your kid and teach them how to surf, even at four years old. You’d watch and smile and take photos of Ethan holding your kid up on the board and him basically yelling with excitement when your kid doesn’t fall off when a wave comes (even though Ethan was holding them the whole time). He’d be a really supportive and encouraging dad. And after he’d be the one during the car trip home being like ‘babe, did you see our little champion out in the water today?’

That night as you got into bed together, he’d tell you how happy he was and how fun the day was. You’d agree and kiss him, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride in Ethan as the father of your child. “You’re a great dad” you’d say and he’d get all shy but grin, then say “I kind of want another one.” Your heart would skip a beat but you’d get right to business bc you couldn’t ask for anything better than having more kids with Ethan

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 5 2019 Rewatch

We’ve reached the season that made me rage-quit a show that had once been my absolute favorite back in May of 2015! That means I’ve seen about half of these once four years ago. So... here we go. 

5x01

1. WHY is Maggy the Frog sexy?

2. WHY is there no mention of the valonqar? Were they already planning Bran? Did they not think we could handle a word in another language? WHAT?

3. That scene with Jaime and Cersei at Tywin’s body hurts but SHE KIND OF HAS A POINT ABOUT JAIME KIND OF ACCIDENTALLY BEING A TEENY BIT RESPONSIBLE THO (on the other hand how could he have knoooooown Tyrion was going to KILL DAD?)

4. So... Varys is an immigrant who cares more about Westeros than most people born there, yes?

5. That poor Unsullied JUST WANTED TO CUDDLE

6. Missandei being to shy to say something to the tune of “whatever it is you can do I’d like to do it with you” to Grey Worm is... impossibly sweet.

7. HOW DID ALLISER LIVE THROUGH THAT? Slynt living is also not fair. What a waste of space.

8. Stannis’ offer to the wildlings is fair... underestimating how unlikely Mance is to kneel, but fair.

9. Brienne is MEAN to Pod here! I guess the losing Arya thing broke her a bit.

10. UGH SANSA RODE RIGHT BY THEM

11. Lancel’s actor BEEFED UP WOW

12. Margaery trying to watch out for her brother... what a good sister.

13. Daario 2 has a cute butt

14. Remember when Drogon got loose and Dany was worried that there was an ENTIRE DRAGON JUST FLYING AROUND SOMEWHERE?

15. Mance Rayder was a good person who cares about the Wildlings. All of them.

16. Jon putting that arrow into Mance’s heart while he was burning endeared Jon to me quite a lot.

5x02

1. Braavos is SO PRETTY! And the house of Black and White... so simple and stark. I love the architecture.

2. SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE FUCKING NIGHT?? Oh wait Podrick knows what Sansa looks like! What a sweet and useful boy.

3. Jeez Brienne intense much? Don’t frighten the girl.

4. “Why don’t you stay?  It’s dangerous on the road” is Littlefinger speak for “I am going to kill you in your sleep” and BRIENNE KNOWS IT.

5. So I wonder who in Dorne thought it was a good idea to send Myrcella’s necklace.

6. Jeez Cersei what do you want from Jaime? You wouldn’t LET HIM be a father to the kids.

7. Jaime offering to GO GET HER... and with Bronn! LANNISTER AND BRONN ROAD TRIP PART 2 HERE WE COME.

8. Today the part of Elia I will be played Doran and the part of Arianne will be played by Elia. it’s very confusing.

9. Doran’s casting is still SO GOOD.

10. ELIA DO NOT MAKE CERSEI RIGHT ABOUT HER LINE “EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD THEY HURT LITTLE GIRLS” 

11. I remember so little of Dany’s story from this part... Mossador seems cool but is he secretly loyal to the sons of the Harpy??? I remember something about her being ambushed? (I was right about the ambush, wrong about Mossador he was always loyal to Dany in his way.)

12. Barristan dropping some truth about the Mad King = GOOD

13. Varys being like DRINK LESS TYRION

14. Qyburn is more useful than ten Pycelles.

15. AND FUCK YOU TOO UNCLE KEVAN

16. Shireen teaching Gilly to read is SO CUTE. And... Greyscale can be cured? The spread arrested? I thought Shireen just had a very slow moving case. How is she CURED?

17. Lyanna’s response to Stannis... your favs could never

18. His face when Stannis asks Jon if he wants to be legitimized is like ????

19. No one likes you Janos sit down

20. Sam’s speech for Jon... what impeccable delivery. Making them laugh at Slynt, making them remember how badass Jon is... smart boy.

21. Good to see you again Jaqen-no-one!

22. Why so PUBLIC with Mossador’s execution? What kind of idiocy is this READ THE ROOM DANY. And execute him QUIETLY as your advisers probably told you was a good idea.

23. Drogon’s like “wow this roof looks nice oh hai mom”

5x03

1. That interior of the house of black and white with the pool and all of the gods... so cool and creepy

2. HOW OLD IS TOMMEN ANYWAY?? What a sweet kid though.

3. The Queen off continues... and Margaery shoots herself in the foot. That was CERSEI TRYING TO BE NICE FOR HER SON’S SAKE. And you can SEE the moment Cersei’s like FUCK THIS IT’S WAR

4. OMG pooR traumatized Theon and EW flayed men

5. RIDE THE OTHER WAY SANSA

6. Littlefinger has clearly not met Ramsay fucking Snow. Otherwise nothing he says to Sansa here makes sense.

7. At least they had the decency to admit that Brienne had been nasty to Pod and have them actually start to develop a sweet friendship. And Brienne tells him the story of the ball and Renly :(

8. I like that we’re getting some Jon and Davos interaction. So much good hearted gruffness in one place!

9. Sansa’s arrival at Winterfell just... no

10. TAKE LORD JANOS OUTSIDE YES THIS WAS SO LONG COMING

11. Ok that scene with the high septon and the prostitutes in the costumes of the Seven was kind of hysterical

12. Stay away from the high sparrow Cersei my love...

13. Wow, Jonathan Pryce, how did they get you for this? You’re better than this nonsense but getting to see you and Lena in a scene together is a gift.

14. Ok I jumped at Gregor rattling around on the table

15. So... Littlefinger hadn’t heard much about Ramsay, and the bastard is on his best behavior when LF comes to Winterfell. That answers some questions

16. Holy crap Tyrion is a child playing with the windows that roll up and down.

17. We get to see Volantis???? Coooool!

18. What is a red priestess doing preaching that Dany is the savior? Do they each have their own pet theories about who AA is?

19. Tyrion is terribly good at getting kidnapped.

5x04: Jaime and Bronn go to Dorne and there are some people pretending to be the Sand Snakes

1. The theme of this ep so far is “Lannister brothers on ships”

2. Jorah stealing the boat and throwing silver on the poor dude 😂

3. I... think I might not have seen this episode because I have NO MEMORY of that scene where Jaime tells Bronn he’s going to kill Tyrion if he ever sees him again. My heart.💔 (I found my tumblr archive form May of 2015, and I definitely HAD seen it. I think my brain just protected me from remembering this because it hurt too much. 

4. I want a million reaction gifs of Qyburn being done or clearly having Thoughts Not Expressed

5. Do you know WHY the Faith Militant was disbanded Cersei my love? Cersei who is the mother of three of her brother’s children? BECAUSE THE FAITH HAD ISSUES WITH THE ALL THE TARGARYEN INCEST. What in ALL SEVEN HELLS possessed you to rearm them that kind of power?

6. I still HATE that the show makes the Faith SO MUCH MORE HOMOPHOBIC than it is in the books.

7. I’m going full on Lannister here because me reaction to Margaery bursting in on Tommen was BACK OFF, TYRELL.

8. LEAVE. TOMMEN. THE FUCK. ALONE. (Sparrows, Tyrells, EVERYONE.)

9. Jon writing to the Boltons for men even though he HATES THEM says a lot about him.

10. Mel just does a whole lot of sex magic doesn’t she...

11. I LOVE that we get a scene between just Stannis and Shireen where it’s obvious he loves her. And it makes me hate what happens later even more.

12. Sansa honoring Lyanna in the crypts is sweet. And LITTLEFINGER is the one who tells her the story of Lyanna and Rhaegar at Harrenhal?

13. Also how is Littlefinger assuming Sansa SURVIVES Stannis taking Winterfell from the Boltons?

14. EW HE KISSES HER AGAIN GROSS GROSS GROSS

15. I DEFINITELY HAVE NOT SEEN THIS. (Narrator’s voice: But she had)  I would have remembered Jaime saying he wanted to die in the arms of the woman he loves. (Narrator’s voice: But she didn’t, which didn’t bother her as much as it might have. It was like getting to see shippy scenes for the first time all over again.) 

16. THAT ONE SHOULD BE SLOW ENOUGH 😂 ILU BRONN

17. Jaime being obsessed with not starting a war makes sense because he ALREADY DID IT ONCE AND THIS TIME DAD IS DEAD.

18. And on the other hand Elia wanting to START A WAR I AM SO ANGRY

19. Obarra getting tell the story about the spear is cool though

20. BUT WHERE IS ARIANNE? STILL ANGRY.

21. Poor not drunk as he would like to be Tyrion. He’s quick though with recognizing Jorah.

22. I’m trying to imagine younger Barristan protecting his idiot prince who liked singing in public and it’s kind of fun

23. Well this is clearly a trap. Also that many unsullied should have been able to WIPE THE FLOOR with those sons of the Harpy even in close quarters.

24. Barristan Selmy: WHAT A BADASS. He’ll be missed.

5x05: And now my watch was ended because D and D did something awful in the next episode. 

As I mentioned before, after I rewatched the whole season, I went back to my archive and found the last post where I talked about watching GoT when it aired first run, and it was about this episode. I just read it again for the first time and MY FEELINGS HAVE NOT CHANGED on many points. 

1. Letting Viserion and Rhaegar eat that Meereenese noble is something Aerys would have done and doesn’t make them love her any more likely to behave.

2. So... who is writing Maester Aemon about Dany?

3. Jon Snow, Breaker of Chains? I like that he frees Tormund and gives him reasons to follow him but lets the choice be his.

4. Grammar stickler Stannis is always good for a laugh.

5. Wait wait... Brienne was close enough to Winterfell to SEE IT OUT THE WINDOW??? What in all Seven Hells?

6. We needed a scene of Myranda and Ramsay talking about Sansa like I needed a dagger in the eye

7. Ok ok cool parallel of Sansa standing at the base of the tower looking a lot like Cat.

8. Holy shit did Sansa not know Theon was there before Myranda showed her???

9. Ramsay playing mind games with Theon making him think he’s going to hurt him... yikes

10. And forcing the two of them to interact in ways that he could control and make awful was... kind of smart

11. No Walda should not be telling people she’s pregnant... but how could she know that Ramsay was a danger to her unborn child? She seems a trusting sort.

12. Sam insisting that Gilly knows valuable things too is... so pure

13. This rewatch is turning me into a rampant Missandei/ Grey Worm shipper and I like it.

14. Dany’s outfit when she goes to see Hizdar in prison looks very Star Wars to me.

15. Jorah and Tyrion sailing through the Doom is still the DUMBEST shit.

16. The old city looks neat though. And that’s a fun poem.

17. AND A WHOLE ENTIRE DRAGON (are dragons homing pigeons?)

18. Tyrion’s face when he sees that dragon is still so great

19. STONE ZOMBIES ARE CREEPY and now Jorah has greyscale.

5x06: I want to just watch this episode and get it out of the way and at the exact same moment I NEVER WANT TO WATCH IT EVER. It’s Schroedinger’s Episode.

I know this is the episode with THAT SCENE. The reason that I finally stopped watching. Let’s just assume I’m going to be angry but also probably very affected by performances and extremely upset.

1. In the House Of Black and White, a curious child adores an open door....

2. Arya doesn’t hate the Hound. That she still does is a lie she tells to herself, and I THINK THAT’S INTERESTING. 

3. Well of course Jorah wouldn’t know about his dad’s death... :(

4. holy shit Arya making up lies on the spot to comfort that sick little girl before helping her KILL HERSELF

5. That is some SERIOUS MAGIC SHIT GOING ON with all those faces. That scene is exactly as creepy as it needs to be

6. Tyrion has some points about Dany having Targaryen crazy in her dna and how she hasn’t spent a day in Westeros...

7. Well... Tyrion found some people who think his cock is as magical as he does. To bad they want to sell it unattached.

8. Cersei is working out of Tywin’s office. Love it.

9. Wow Petyr... that’s a play for power. He gets the North, he gets Sansa...

10. Trystane Martell is SO CUTE. And I miss Aimee as Myrcella.

11. I LIKE TO IMPROVISE?? Like Indy??? Jfc Jaime

12. Wtf even was all that nonsense in the water gardens other than some cool fight choreography. (Have I mentioned how pretty the Water Gardens are? SO PRETTY.) 

13. The parallels between Cersei and Olenna and Tywin and Olenna in that office.... right down to the Lannister writing to make Olenna wait... fascinating.

14. Cersei did NOT expect the Sparrows to trot out Olyvar. Did she? She genuinely seemed surprised when he walked into the room.

15. Olenna thinks it’s Cersei’s fault anyway and that’s what matters.

16. Sansa’s dress is pretty and the Weirwood is pretty and everything else is awful and there was NO NEED FOR THAT SCENE. It didn’t tell us ANYTHING NEW ABOUT RAMSAY and what he’s capable of or shed any new light on Sansa or Theon it’s just gratuitous rape and psychological torture porn and it’s just gross.

5x07

1. Maester Aemon holding little Sam is the most precious thing. He will be missed. “Egg I dreamed I was old” 😢

2. Oof. That first scene in this ep between Sansa and Theon is ROUGH. She is so desperate and he is so brainwashed and the fact that she can be furious at him one moment and reminding him who he is the next... my heart was not meant to take this.

3. Is this scene supposed to mirror Sansa and Joffrey on the wall? IT IS only with more sophisticated mind games.

4. WHY ARE YOU POKING HIM ABOUT WALDA’S BABY SANSA DO YOU WANT ALL OF YOU TO DIE

5. Stannis being like THIS IS OUT LAST CHANCE TO MARCH SOUTH AND NOT BE STUCK AT THE WALL. But... don’t people bop up there all the time after this? D and D probs forgot. 

6. So... Ghost has just decided he likes Sam and Gilly? He has good taste in people.

7. Dany is with Daario for a LONG time. I hadn’t realized how drawn out their thing was.

8. I AM A QUEEN NOT A BUTCHER no Dany you’re a bbq-er. Sigh. 

9. Tommen being helpless breaks my heart a bit. And that scene between him and Cersei is... devastating.

10. Myrcella is Sansa part 2... pretty and naive and at the mercy of the adults around her

11. what is the point of sand snake boobs here

12. How did I not know that Jorah ended up in the fighting pits?

13. Tyrion is a gift indeed.

14. Fucking puritans I cannot stand them (ask me about how I cursed Oliver Cromwell’s name in England a lot.)

15. I cannot wait to see Cersei keep her promise to that Septa. I do not think that was what I was supposed to take away from Cersei getting thrown in that cell but I’m over here like PAY THAT DEBT MY BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN QUEEN 👑

5x08

1. Tyrion’s intro to Dany about why he’s valuable makes me so angry. Not because I think it’s badly written, but because Tyrion tells her true things that she apparently didn’t internalize about devotion and wisdom.

2. Poor scaly Jorah... tossed out of Meereen.

3. Religious people who try to starve and torture confessions out of those they think have sinned need to DIE IN A FIRE. I am so done with the Faith.

4. Arya “Lanna” selling oysters is cool and all but now I want oysters.

5. Qyburn is a darling atheist and Cersei’s best ally in that place.

6. I HATE SANSA TELLING THEON SHE WOULD DO TO HIM WHAT RAMSAY DID I don’t care that she doesn’t know the extent of what Ramsay did to him it makes her look cruel and the VIEWERS KNOW and UGH GROSS 

7. Holy shit Sansa didn’t know Bran and Rickon were alive.

8. Theon insisting he’s Reek 💔💔💔

9. Tyrion and Dany’s interactions have got my attention. I’m cautiously here for them.

10. Do we know how things are going over in Slaver’s Bay by the end? Does anyone care?

11. Yes but Dany THE WHEEL HAS A PURPOSE. What do you propose to replace it with?

12. The question Olly brings up of “why ally with the people who slaughtered peaceful farmers? What keeps them from killing people on our side of the wall?” Is a good one, and I wish we’d gotten to see Jon argue sensibly for his solution more.

13. Wow did Tormund just kill Rattleshirt?

14. The leaders of the free folk are an interesting group. What is the woman’s name I wonder? Also I hate spiders but WHY DID WE NOT GET ICE SPIDERS.

15. Tormund gets it and likes Jon. It’s kind of sweet.

16. So... I’m calling that cool wildling leader woman isn’t going to last the episode. Ladies without names don’t get to bond with their kids that much if they’re going to live. <--It’s an awful burden being right all the time. 

17. Shit these wights are a lot more active than the old ones

18. Jon and the Night’s watch and the wildlings fighting alongside each other to give people time 👍

19. VALYRIAN STEEL BITCHES

20. Of course she died because women are soft hearted and can’t deal with zombie kids.

21. Jon and the night king having an epic stare off before he raised the dead was kind of cool tho. Also I think Wun Wun the giant is nine kinds of awesome.

5x09: In which I am probably about to lose all respect I ever had for Stannis Baratheon.

1. So I forgot about Ramsay and thought Mel was lighting fires with her mind 🔥

2. Did... Alliser just give Jon a complement? A backhanded one?

3. Omg Stannis is GETTING DAVOS OUT OF THE WAY for what he plans to do YOU BASTARD YOU KNEW DAVOS WOULD STOP YOU.

4. Ok Show Ellaria pouring out wine rather than drinking with a Lannister is fun but NOT HER.

5. Also wherever they filmed that scene with Doran is SO BEAUTIFUL.

6. Meryn Trant is ON HER LIST AND RIGHT THERE

7. And he’s a fucking pedophile ew. Kill him good, Arya.

8. A girl thinks she just lied to Jaqen without him noticing.

9. You know who’s responsible for Oberyn’s death? OBERYN who volunteered and THE MOUNTAIN who killed him. Not Jaime or Tywin or ANYONE BUT THOSE TWO and anyone who actually saw it happen should KNOW THAT, ELLARIA

10. FEEL BAD WHEN SHIREEN ASKS TO HELP, STANNIS. that’s right feel bad

11. I can’t believe NONE OF THEM in that Baratheon army stopped Mel from BURNING A CHILD. Bystander effect?

12. Too little too late Selyse.

13. As of right now, he loses any moral superiority he ever had and I can’t wait to see Brienne shish kabob him

14. Jorah what is the PURPOSE of getting yourself in front of her at the pits?? (Dany’s dragon collar is badass tho)

15. And all of a sudden sons of the Harpy, who were apparently hiding those masks like guy fawkes masks at a protest...

16. TYRION SAVED MISSANDEI YES GOOD also that shot of Dany taking Missandei’s hand gave me feelings

17. LEAVE MY MOM ALONE AND ALSO I AM HUNGRY: Drogon pretty much

18. Ok DANY FLYING OFF WAS COOL.

5x10 I have SO MUCH WINE READY

1. The armchair theologian in me has questions about the reality of the lord of light given the timing of the snow melting enough that Stannis can movie his army. (My wife thinks Mel did some serious blood magic in this case that may or may not have involved any actual divine intervention)

2. FEEL BAD STANNIS YOU MADE CHOICES

3. I would feel worse for Selyse if she hadn’t been horrid to Shireen every single other second.

4. Yay they figured the Valyrian steel swords work. Sam is smart.

5. Jon’s “congrats on the sex, friend” face is priceless

6. Wow the sellswords took ALL THE HORSES. This means Stannis Baratheon, claimant to the throne, is WALKING.

7. YES SANSA PICK THAT LOCK

8. Wow that’s gonna be a masacre. Yikes. I’d call Stannis brave for standing and fighting but he probs knew he had no chance of surrender with the Boltons.

9. UGH SHE LIT THE CANDLE AND BRIENNE ISN’T THERE TO SEE IT

10. I don’t know what Brienne is going to say when she kills Stannis but I would like to suggest “Renly Baratheon sends his regards”

11. Ok that was much more honorable.

12. Me to Ramsay: 🎶 “You’re going to get eaten by dogs AND I’M NOT SORRY.” 🎶 (my sis in law snorted from the other room at that)

13. No one told me Theon kills Myranda for Sansa yes good

14. THEY FLEW

15. Arya killing Meryn Trant is a special kind of horrifying I’m just bloodthirsty enough to cheer for.

16. Wait wait she just STOLE A FACE? It works for her without any permission?

17. Oh ok I see that wasn’t creepy at all.

18. ...and Ellaria just literally gave Myrcella the kiss of death what

19. THE BAD PUSSY LINE GAVE MY WIFE A HEADACHE I AM NOT KIDDING

20. Jaime trying to be dad and bonding with Myrcella (or trying to) is SO CUTE and the look on his face when she says SHE IS GLAD HE’S HER DAD AND SHE HUGS HIM KILL ME NOW

21. I can hear book Ellaria screaming from here. And I just killed about half a glass of wine for Myrcella.

22. Of course Tyrion speaks Valyrian that’s darling

23. The meeting of the “Find Dany Committee” is fascinating. Daario is kind of in control here??? But what he suggests makes sense???

24. What an adorable triumvirate of Tyrion, Missandei, and Grey Worm!

25. VARYS! Hiiiii! Tyrion is going to need you I have a feeling.

26. Aww look at Drogon’s little dragon nest poor wounded thing.

27. Now... was this Khalasar just passing by? Did they see the dragon and come to see what was up?

28. SAY CONFESS ONE MORE TIME BITCH

29. A girl lies well. Good one Cersei.

30. AND HAIR GROWS BACK. (She doesn’t get to say it here but I was screaming it internally) I kind of can’t wait for her to wildfire the lot of them. The Faith and the high sparrow and all of the self righteous assholes can go fuck themselves

31. SOMEONE GIVE HER A CLOAK

32. THANK YOU QYBURN. When the necromancer is the most welcome sight ever... things have taken an odd turn (seriously though the genuine care he seems to have for her is touching???)

33. DOES DAVOS KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SHIREEN Must not because Mel would be dead right now

34. Happy Ides of Winter Jon

35. Congrats dudes you killed a kid (ok fine a man) that was better than all of you

36. Glasses of wine consumed: Two BIG ones.

[werenzki]

Chris Kreider #1

Anonymous said: Can I ask for a Chris Kreider imagine and can it be about him taking his kids to team practice and the guys making fun of him cuz there are like five or six of them and then the reader pops up and she’s pregnant again!

A/N: literally i was like ‘who is this guy again’ and looked up his tag and was like ‘omg its the guy who used to kiss talbys helmet!!!’ lol well i hope u liked it :) also writing this was a different POV was weird and sorry if it was weird to read or anything

Word Count: 1,730

The fact the Kreider family was big wasn’t new news. So knowing the four kids would be skating around the ice rink, the oldest three in their hockey gear, everyone was happy enough to have the little ones on the ice. With practice over, a few Rangers stayed behind and hung out with Chris and his kids. 

“Kaitlyn is playing next year,” Chris told his teammate, and friend, Derek Stephan. They were standing at the blue line, watching as the third oldest Kreider kid - and youngest girl - skating up and a puck to shoot at Hendrik. He was nice enough to stay behind and let the kids have some fun with a goalie in the net. 

“She’s almost six now, hey?” Derek questioned. 

“Yup, she’s almost as tall as her sister now though,” Chris stated. 

“That’s cause she got your height, while Izzy got Y/N’s,” the two men laughed. 

“It’s like the height gene always skipped a kid,” Chris noted. His eldest son, Michael, was tall for his age as well. He was turning 13 this year and he could pass as 16 most days. And everyone knew he probably had another couple inches to go too. 

“Poor Jamie,” Derek said, referring to the youngest of the Kreider clan. 

“He’ll get my good looks though, so he’ll be good,” Chris joked before skating off towards where his three oldest were skating around the goalie net. Each one was carelessly shooting at Henrik, he only saved one out the the many shots, and had the kids laughing at his ridiculous reaches and lunges for each puck. 

“Mikey,” Chris called for his eldest, “Derek said he’d go through some puck handling if you hurry your butt over to him,” 

“Sick,” the pre-teen said before skating over towards Derek. Suddenly Chris and the two girls were joined by Mats. He played with a puck, hitting it through Kaitlyn’s legs and causing her to nearly fall as she tried to watch him skate around her. 

“Heard someone’s playing hockey this year,” Mats smiled to the little blonde haired girl. They had been favourite of each other since she was born basically. Just like how Derek and Michael clicked pretty instantly too. 

“Yeah!” Kaitlyn cheered. 

“Gunna kick some butt, kid?” Mats asked, coming to a stop beside her now. 

“Mom said I’m not allowed to fight the other kids,” she said. 

Mats chuckled and looked up at where Chris was watching the two, “yeah, don’t go being like your dad, or you’ll get in trouble with your mom for sure,” he said. Chris rolled his eyes but then turned his attention to his eldest daughter, Caroline, who was playing with a puck and looking just a little lonely since Hendrik’s had left the net. Chris hit her stick, getting possession of the puck she was using. 

“Dad,” she groaned. She had just turned 11 and was already acting like a whiney pre-teen. Chris and Y/N weren’t looking forward to the teen years with any of your kids, except many Jamie cause he was a little angel - but he was also almost 5 years old and got away with a lot too.

“Come get the puck, Car,” he said while skating off at a slow pace. She started to skate after him, poking him with her stick as he managed to keep it away from her. He rounded the corner of the rink wide, getting around where Michael and Derek were hanging out, and that’s when Caroline got the puck back. 

“Ha!” She laughed and came to a stop, only to make a turn and start skating back down the ice again. 

Chris smirked and went after her again, picking up speed much easier than she did and was in front of her in an instant. Being the usual bully that he is, he pushed her into the board and then knocked away at the puck. He was surprised at first by the fight his daughter was putting up, but soon enough the puck was on his tape and he pushed it around the board. 

“Dad!” She groaned again but went after it while Chris laughed. 

“Chris!” Y/N shouted across the ice, causing his attention to fall on her as she had the youngest Kreider standing at the bench in a pair of skates. Jamie had only been on the ice a few times now, so he needed all the help to learn still. 

“Hey buddy,” Chris smiled at the chubby-cheeks, and his little baby, while staking up to where he was being held at his hood by his mother. “Ready to skate?”

“Yeah,” Jamie nodded and wasted no time stepping down onto the ice. Chris was quick to help him, holding his hands while he stood there and looked up at his wife. She was watching her youngest with worried eyes, probably checking that his helmet was on tight enough before she put him in full care with Chris. 

She had her hand resting on her swollen stomach, her gaze now on the rink where she took in the rest of her children on the ice. At 16 weeks pregnant, she was showing and glowing that was for sure. She could no longer hide her belly, instead it was hard to miss the growing bump as she got changed every morning. Today her grey t-shirt clung to the belly and she and Chris were telling people the good news. 

“How are they doing?” She asked, looking at her husband now. He watched at Mikey and Derek continued to play around with some basic practice drills. 

“They’re good,” he replied. She smiled and brought her left hand to his face, the large diamond ring shined under the lights of the arena and caused a flutter of butterflies in her pregnant belly. 

Each day she woke up feeling blessed. Well, some days she also felt sick due to pesky morning sickness - she only had it with her girls so it was making her feel as though the fifth Kreider kids was going to be a female. Another blonde beauty for the world, or Mats, to love. Chris thought she was just being silly though, but also he was just hoping for another boy. No matter the gender though, Y/N was simply happy. 

She was married to her best friend, and they were raising a pretty damn great family. Michael was showing lots of potential in his hockey, and getting great grade with he was at it. Caroline enjoyed the sport, but had joined her schools volleyball team and never shut up about her upcoming games during dinners. Kaitlyn was excited to start up hockey, saying she wanted to be just like her daddy, while her teachers were saying she could skip a grade because of how smart she was. And little Jamie, well he was always smiling or laughing and always slept through the night and ate his vegetables so Y/N wasn’t complaining one bit. 

“How are you doing?” Chris asked, his eyes soft as he felt a constant worry for his pregnant wife. She smiled and brushed the pad of her thumb on his cheek. 

“I’m good,” she replied. “I’m going to go sit up there with Stephanie,” 

Derek and Stephanie’s kids were right behind Y/N, going around the bench and to the other door to skate onto the ice. The two boys were closer to the Kreider girls ages, and that meant there was always teasing and taunting of how they were going to get married one day. Caroline and Max clearly had some sort of crush on each other, while Kaitlyn and Logan were more like cousins. Simply because of the many times Chris or Derek had to run into a room after hearing Logan crying, finding Kaitlyn either beating him up or that she had taken something from him. 

“Alright,” Chris nodded. He leaned forward and pecked his wives lips before turning his attention to the eager child in his hands. 

“Y/N is pregnant?” Mats asked while staking up to Chris and Jamie - who were slowly getting the hang of things. Y/N was walking up the stairs and taking a seat next to Stephanie, who was quick to give her a hug in greeting. 

“Yeah,” Chris nodded with a smile on his lips. 

“Wow, congrats man,” Mats smiled. 

“Thanks,” 

“Just can’t stop knocking her up hey?” 

“I mean, you’ve seen her right?” Chris questioned, his wife was gorgeous and everyone knew it. “Actually don’t answer that, don’t think about my wife that way,” 

Mats through up his hands in surrender. Chris laughed but then brought his full attention to the newest skater of his children. Little Jamie was doing well, even letting his dad let go of his hands a few times. Which Chris took as a good sign and was even able to go bug Caroline while Jamie skated on his own beside them. 

“Hey,” Derek skated up to Chris, making sure to not disrupt Jamie who was doing so well. “Congrats on another one of these hooligans, buddy,”

“Thanks,” Chris smiled. 

“Trying to make your own hockey team?” He joked. 

Chris laughed, “I think we’ll be done after this one.” 

“Well, I’m happy for you man,” he smiled. 

“Thanks,” Chris nodded and then skated up and grabbed ahold of Jamie. He lifted him off the ice and skated around as he laughed in his arms. “You’re doing pretty good, bud,” 

“I can skate like you,” 

Chris laughed and let put him down so his skates touched the ice agian, but kept his hands under his arms and skated fast. Jamie laughed as Chris skated them around the ice, he called out on each one of his siblings that he saw as the skated past them. Soon enough the whole clan was skating around the rink, trying to catch their dad and youngest brother. 

Y/N sat in one of the seats of MSG and watched as her kids skated around with her husband. She kept a hand planted on her belly while she smiled at the group of them. She loved all five with all her heart, and knew that having another was the right thing. She and Chris couldn’t wait to add another to their happy and health family. She was living a dream, with the best husband and best kids she could ever wish for.

[wingsporkhalo]

Through Burning Ashes-- An original (and bad) story

This was written by @mysticdelphox97 a long, long time ago, and since I was cracking her up with my commentary on this story late last year, she gave me permission to post it here with our comments. It’s a fantasy story, and it’s less than 15 pages even with all the comments, so it’s pretty short!

Anywho, let’s go! Short excerpt above the cut, the rest underneath it! I have to say, though, the best stuff is under the cut. I love this spork.

Mystic: on another note I found an old story prologue and I'm DYING BECAUSE Mystic: MY WORD CHOICES AND DESCRIPTIONS ARE Mystic: THEY'RE INTERESTING

Wing: TELL ME

Mystic: omg I gotta send it to you words cannot explain how INTERESTING this story "prologue" is omg

Wing: PLEASE DO

Mystic: I'm not even done reading it but holy shit

Through Burning Ashes

Wing: I mean aren't all ashes burning though Mystic: Well, except for the ones that aren't burning

Prologue:

Once, many centuries ago, a great fleet of ships landed at a vast country.

Wing: Just...picturing them falling out of the sky. THUMP

It was a magical land, untouched by man until the large, wooden vessels rode unto the beaches. Its beautiful grounds and astonishing maturity surprised the pioneers.

Wing: So what I'm getting from that second sentence is that the pioneers wanted to plow that land, ifyaknowwhaddimean

Mystic: the last time I touched this was apparently 2013 and I'm just??? I wrote shit like this back then?? jeesus Mystic: I GUESS I DUNNO

Wing: Not helped by the word "unto" in the first sentence

Its creatures and native residents were mostly intelligent beings, who were capable to communicate with the outsiders. The name of this great continent is Arybiana.

Wing: how do I pronounce Arybiana

Mystic: uh. yeah. Mystic: I have no fucking clue tbh xD Mystic: it's been that long

Wing: And who named it that tho

The fleet that approached this land was loaded with independent Humans, who fled from their nation that ran on tyranny.

Wing: Well of course. Can't spell tyranny without "ran." Also “tranny,” so make of that what you will???

By the time they arrived, they were very close to death, as sickness swept to and from the survivors.

Wing: sickness swept to AND from the survivors?? OH GOD

Mystic: IM PISSING MYSELF Mystic: it's bad its so bad

The intelligent race of Mocats,

Wing: Okay so I know it's probably pronounced moc-cats but I'm pronouncing it Moe-cats

Mystic: MOE-CATS Mystic: OMG Mystic: IM CRYING Mystic: I DIDN NOT THINKG OF THAT

small feline creatures that have the capability to levitate,

Wing: A FLOATING FELINE YOU SAY??

took the dying Humans into their care. One they were more peculiarly interested in was an ill, pregnant woman, about to give birth.

Wing: Aw ye dey into some freaky shit man

Mystic: PFPFFFFFFFFFFF OMG Mystic: MY STOMACH MUSCHELS OMG

The tribal healer was able to help deliver the infant safely. Although the baby lived, the mother perished from the raging virus.

Wing: The same one that kills Primeapes :'C [note: we had been discussing how the pokedex entries for Primeape in Sun and Moon say that Primeape can get so angry that it just drops dead.] R.I.P. Angermom

Mystic: well hot damn Mystic: I'm actually crying omg I can't sTOP THIS IS SO BAD

The Mocats saved the majority of the dying Humans. After they recovered, they listened to their story, and then gave them an undisturbed section of the country so they could thrive and prosper. For twenty years, the Humans lived peacefully with nature. After experiencing all that the country had to give them, they decided to become a part of it.

Wing: [sultry music]

It was actually the son of the ill mother that proposed an alliance to the Mocats, promising to come to their aid during dark times as they had done. The patriarch of the Mocatian race and the Human sealed the deal that day,

Wing: I'm sorry I can't see "sealed the deal" as anything but a euphemism

Mystic: that's ok, this is a really old story so I'm not surprised that that's there

which marked the start of the Alliance.

There were also other evolved creatures that they befriended, who also were sworn into the Alliance. The next race to be emitted was the Elves,

Wing: WHERE ARE ELVES BEING EMITTED FROM??? IS THERE AN ELF-EMITTING ORIFICE IN THE EARTH OR SOMETHING

Mystic: I think I meant admitted? Or.... something similar.... Mystic: i don't know

Wing: Probably admitted, yes, but emitted is hilarious as hell

Mystic: i didn't even catch that so good call there!

who are of the same DNA structure and proportions as the Humans, only their average height is taller. They also have the ability to practice magic.

Wing: So like...no pointed ears tho?

Mystic: pffffffff i think they still have the pointed ears idk why i added that their DNA was the same

Wing: It's to remind us that elves and humans are compatible ;D

Next to join were the Rabbijacks, rabbit-like creatures who have above-average IQs and are generally shy but natural peacemakers. They can use their hind legs as well as a humanoid, and can also be on all fours as well.

Wing: I mean so can I, but that doesn't mean I should

The same applies to the Wolverines, canine creatures

Wing: But...but wolverines are already real creatures...

Mystic: apparently not in this universe Mystic: wtf was my angsty high-school self thinking

with rather relaxed postures who are mischievous and sly,

Wing: RACIST

but are masters in the art of Weaponry, and they have a thing for setting traps and explosives.

Wing: The vagueness of the expression "have a thing for" makes me nervous

Mystic: yeahhhhhh, i cringed pretty hard at that

The Ty-Geirs

Wing: TY-GEIRS??

Mystic: THAT TOO

are a feline race, same as the Mocats, except they are about as tall as a Human, but they are skilled in the Battle Arts (it’s basically similar to kung fu, martial arts, and karate).

Wing: "ABOUT AS TALL AS A HUMAN, BUT SKILLED IN THE BATTLE ARTS" NAME INVOKES IMAGE OF A "TIGER"

IT'S INCINEROAR

Mystic: OH MY GOD IT IS Mystic: BRUH Mystic: I INVENTED INCINEROAR Mystic: AYE

Wing: I'M SO PROUD

Mystic: "skilled in the battle arts" Why couldn't I have just used 'combat' or something instead of trying to make some special snowflake thing

The Lynbaxes are also a feline race, raised in mechanics and electronics,

Wing: They are actually raised in the electronics. Like Pokémon being raised in a PC Box

and have a knack for building machines, whether for modern society or for military purposes. Lastly, the Twilitians joined. They are a humanoid race with light mint-green skin and neon markings.

Wing: ...Twilitians Well, it's a gentler term than "Twitards" anyway Wing: "Light mint-green skin and neon markings" Okay but what neon color were the markings

Mystic: they might not be loosely based off of Midna's race from Twilight Princess Mystic: yeah

They are considered the creatures of the shadow, which suits them because they can transform themselves into shadow.

Wing: Well I mean yeah that's pretty straightforward

Soon, the alliances began to expand on their technology, just as America had done in our dimension. In time, the country began to grow, from the most powerful cities to the leisurely towns and hamlets.

Wing: Leisurely? The entire town is leisurely Also "hamlets" omg what time period am I supposed to be imagining? LOL

Mystic: I have no idea honestly, and if I don't even know and its my own story (from millions of years ago) then that's kind of a problem

And the best part is that very little of the forests and natural areas were eliminated, since the small communities used and incorporated the resources to create their home district. Arybiana eventually became a profitable nation, involved with international trading and other overseas projects.

The Kingdom of Celire became the Capitol of the country.

Wing: Okay but how does an entire kingdom become a capital

It is ruled by two representatives, one male and one female, of each race partaking in the Alliance. These representatives are carefully selected by surveys submitted by the individuals of each community, and by the approval of the Shaman, their God. The High Rulers is the name for this group of delegates. They act as the government, where they try to make life livable for their people (at the time, meaning everyone that thrived in the country, not just their own race).

The Capitol of Arybiana is also directly connected to smaller Kingdoms in charge of multiple communities. Each Kingdom is required to watch over at least one major community and a few or several minor communities. The High Rulers are trained to closely hand-pick a “King” and a “Queen” to watch over them.

Wing: Are there quotations because everyone is secretly genderqueer???

Often, the King and Queen are selected from a single race, since there was no discrimination at the time.

Wing: Haha that's realistic????????!

Mystic: OBVIOUSLY Mystic: i can't even imagine that i actually wrote this Mystic: like Mystic: i actyualyl sat down Mystic: and wrote this Mystic: jesus

For example, in the Kingdom of Eidelvice,

Wing: "Eidelvice" I would like you to know that I first read that as "Evildice" THE KINGDOM OF EVIL DICE

Mystic: I think I was trying to spell Edelweiss Mystic: but uh Mystic: that is definitely NOT Edelweiss

Wing: No it's okay when I read it over again I pronounced it in my head as "edelweiss" so...mission accomplished??

Mystic: yeah kinda? i didn't know how to spell it at the time ^^'

it was often the Rabbijacks that ran the communities. Since the Rabbijacks are true peace-keepers by nature, and Eidelvice is a large interracial district, they were more suited to be used. The communities are also run by a mayor and a small council. It is their duty to report the functions to the King and Queen; and to smooth out any problems with the Community Council, then to the King and Queen if the issues are out of control.

It is allowed that, if the King and Queen are not married and in love, they can be united and have children. The Princes and Princesses live with their parents, and when they retire, they are given the choice to lead the Kingdom as a King or Queen (if they meet the requirements, that is), or to live a normal life as an average Arynan citizen.

Wing: "An average Arynan citizen" Yo where the fuck the "b" from "Arybiana" go Why is that so close to "Aryan"

Mystic: I Mystic: I don't know

It is through these methods of careful selection that have kept Arybiana safe for most of the Early Age. During this time, there were some imperfections. Every now and then, there was a sour apple in the hand-assembled bushel. But, the communities and the Kingdoms have the power to vouch for the replacement of the “sour apple.”

Wing: America 2k16 Mystic: OMG

Let’s say there was a mayor in one of the communities who mistreated the residents, and one of the other communities found out. They would inform their King and Queen about the situation. The King and Queen would then send a petition to the other communities for a vote to impeach him/her.

Wing: Yo you should print this up and just send it to the government with no explanation

Mystic: PFFFFFFF BRUH Mystic: omg I'm crying again omg omg

When it comes around again with the final tallies, the King and Queen address it to the Capitol. Only the High Rulers get to fully decide the result.

These techniques worked well with the country for nearly two thousand years after the Humans arrived. However… that was about to change.

It happened in the year of 1990. The habits of the races began to change. A portion of the Humans began to grow racist to the humanoid race of Twilight, the Twilitians. It was merely because of their light-mint skin and their attire that led to their argument.

Wing: America 2k16 [thousand-yard stare at the wall]...

Mystic: pffffffffffsjlekhdoikjedf

Then… suddenly, the Twilitians simply vanished. They became lost within the small opening between 1999 and the beginning of the 20th century. Everyone pointed fingers at the Humans, who retaliated and said they would never consider doing such a thing, even though parts of their population were acting rather idiotic.

Wing: PFFFFFFFF THE "RATHER IDIOTIC" AMONGST ALL THIS INFODUMPING JUST STRUCK ME FUNNY FOR SOME REASON

The searches turned empty-handed. It was as if they just simply melted into the mist…

Wing: What mist Did we establish that there was lots of mist

Mystic: I was trying to be mysterious I guess

Wing: Mist-erious

Mystic: xD

Because of the confusion, in 2001 the High Rulers (Humans included) turned to the Shaman for answers. The Shaman is a shadowy being, informally known as Shadow.

Wing: I...I thought he was known as Shaman And that's kind of an unoriginal nickname if he's a shadowy being. God, Humans aren't the only ones being idiotic here

Mystic: what was i thinking when i named him that good lord Mystic: what made me think "oh yeah Shaman is a great name!!!" Mystic: like Mystic: honestly

He is the God of Arybiana, who can spot the goodness and potential of each person as well as the darkness and mishaps. Shadow told the representatives about a growing evil, feeding off the greed and pride of each race and becoming stronger.

“What?” they asked, “what evil?”

“One that could sever the Alliance for good,” the Shaman merely stated.

“How can we save it?” the High Rulers pleaded.

Shadow pondered. Then, in a smooth voice, he recited:

“The Allies will be saved,

when the Race of the Silver Lining,

is united with the World of Light.”

The representatives pondered this. Silver Lining was the strip of twilight, which the Twilian race was born from.

Wing: "Strip of Twilight: the early years of 50 Shades of Grey"

Mystic: PFFF O H MY GOD

So if they could save them, then…!

“Wait a minute,” the male elfin leader questioned, “how can we save the Twilitians if we don’t even know where they are? They practically vanished, without even a trace! Who could ever find a race that disappeared from the very face of the earth?”

Shadow responded again:

“The Race of Twilight will be saved,

by each Member of the Alliance,

led by the Hero.”

Wing: Yo that's the most generic advice ever. I vote we elect a new Shadow. This Shadow sucks ass

Mystic: I have to agree

“A hero?” they gasped. What hero? The only heroes were in myths,

Wing: Well that's a depressing viewpoint.

dating back millions of centuries before the Landing of the Humans, and the Creation of the Alliance. Were they about to witness the backwash of another tall tale?

Wing: That's...not where the word "backwash" belongs

Mystic: yeah I also thought that was very out of place

The God of Arybiana felt their anxiety. He felt their fear of losing their relationships with the other races, carefully built on two millenniums of hard times,

Wing: "Two millenniums" pfff

depression, loyalty, happiness, and, yes, he could feel love in there too.

The Shaman cleared his throat.

Wing: Even Shadowy Beings got mucus

Mystic: yup xD Mystic: I'm still legit dying of laughter here omg

“What I’m about to divulge is a Prophecy, written in the ink of the Ancient People who predicted the fate of Arybiana. Now, as I pass this to you, you must promise me this: the words are exactly as they will be mentioned. If the message was passed on, misconstrued, then the demands of Destiny will never be met, and Arybiana’s expected turmoil will come quicker than before. Do you, as the current Rulers of this nation, promise to remember every drop of this information?”

Wing: "Only if it is in liquid form, your Incorporealness" "...." "...." "...You guys really are idiotic."

Mystic: BWAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GDO Mystic: your commentary gives me life omg

They nodded.

Shadow smiled.

Wing: ???????????What????am I supposed to picture???????????????

Mystic: i didn't think that through apparently

He took one large breath, exhaled deeply, and then claimed his older voice back.

Wing: Sure he just popped on down to the Pawn Shop real fast

He revealed the following of the Prophecy:

“The Hero shall emerge,

from a demise known by all, save They.

Wing: Oh, so they have to save Princess They, then.

"THEY'S IN TROUBLE, EVERYONE" "Why, Your Shadowyness. We thought you were more educated than that. Surely you mean 'they ARE in trouble.'" "NO I MEAN, YOU HAVE TO GO SAVE THEY." "Hahaha, oh, Your Royal Intangibleness!! Your jests are appreciated, but ill-timed. Please, share with us your wisdom!" "THEY IS DYING RIGHT NOW. LITERALLY RIGHT NOW." "Please, Your Duskiness!! We have need of your guidance!! Do not tease us so!!" "I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU."

Mystic: OH MY GOOODDDDDD Mystic: I AMN DEAD Mystic: THIS IS GOLD HOLY SHIT Mystic: SENPAI YOU ARE WESOMENE Mystic: *AWESOME

Wing: LOLLLLL OMG THANK YOU I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I'M GIGGLING TOO PFFFFFF

Mystic: i was legit crying and wheexing throughout your commentary it's WONDERFUL

The Hero shall arise

from the ashes of a White Blossom,

breaking from the caging inferno,

of their fears and desires.”

After he was finished, questions immediately popped up:

“When will the Hero be born?”

“What race will he or she be?”

Wing: It's like they're discussing Jesus Wing: AND YAY THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY maybe I can convert this into a spork and just make the contributor anonymous but ;las;lk I'd want your comments in there too so MAYBE WE CAN PRETEND SOMEONE ELSE WROTE IT Wing: (unless you're not ashamed of it)

Mystic: BRUH I TOTALLY GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPORK THIS

Wing: ??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mystic: I'm not ashamed at all man this has been collecting dust for a long time xD

“What do you mean by ‘a demise know by all, save they?’ and ‘arise from a White Blossom?’

“What catastrophe will we know of except for the Hero?”

“Quiet, quiet, my Children!” Shadow snapped. Everyone fell silent.

“The questions you ask, they are good ones. However, I am afraid I cannot answer them,” he said.

“Why not? Surely you must know exactly what’ll happen, if you can read off a freaking poem from your head,” the sassy female Wolverine snapped.

Wing: Uh, bruh, I've memorized a lot of song lyrics and poems and I don't know shit about the future

Mystic: I could recycle some of the plot and concepts but, obviously like 100X better xD Mystic: pffffft

“Empress Velma,

Wing: "Verily, I say unto my people, I hath lost my spectacles, and can see nary a thing without them."

I needn’t to make you upset, but that ‘poem’ is not only valuable, it is slightly cursed.

Wing: But only slightly. That's like saying “Oh, my great-uncle was only slightly murderous. He killed like, one...two guys, tops. Four. It was four. BUT ONLY TWO WERE EVER PROVEN”

I told you in the beginning—if the prophecy’s words were mixed up at all when retold, then the fate of Arybiana’s next Dark Time will come earlier then the predicted date. So let’s say, two years from now, Arybiana is doomed for a flood.

Wing: “[Sound of quills scratching on parchment]” "DAMMIT, GUYS, THAT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE. PUT YOUR DAMN PENS DOWN."

Mystic: PHFFFFFFF HAHAHAHA HAHDNJKDODFN Mystic: OMG MY BELLY OUW XD

If the word got around saying a hurricane or a tsunami was coming instead of a flood, the flood will arrive earlier than before, whether it was a day or a year.”

“That still doesn’t really make sense as to why you can’t spill the beans about this hero,” Velma retorted.

Wing: Jinkies!! Shaggy and Scoob ate the beans, that's why no one can spill 'em!!

“I cannot because of the all-too-real situation of misconstrued information. If knowledge of the Hero was mixed, then he shall arrive later—and by then, I am very afraid that Arybiana will be doomed,” the Arynan God stated.

Wing: Ohhh, so THAT'S why the Second Coming of Christ hasn't happened yet

Mystic: IM REALIZING JUST HOW STUPID THIS WHOLE SCENARIO IS

The Rulers were silent for a portion of the time.

Wing: I'm just imagining them taking a triangle out of a pie chart like "this is the silent portion"

Mystic: PFFFFFFF THAT'S PERFECT

Then, Rabbijack leader Kaylai spoke: “So, you are putting the pressure on us to get those very exact words out, correct?”

“Yes, I am indeed.”

“How about… we make a pact, then? So to keep true to the words of the Prophecy?” she inquired.

Her male counterpart, Rabbijack Emperor Freier, agreed. “I believe that is a splendid idea—that way, there shall be little doubt that the Prophecy will become lost within the mists of time.”

Wing: Look more mist

Mystic: its all a bunch of fucking misty omg Mystic: that's it that's all this country is

The fourteen other leaders nodded their heads and muttered their agreement. Then they turned to Shadow.

Wing: Just, bam. They were suddenly all shadows. Just like that

“I cannot see why not. I shall even put a slight enchantment on it as well, so you are even less likely to make that mistake,” he said finally.

Wing: "So should I just...should I just put this away?" said Emperor Jeff in the back, holding up his tape recorder, on which he had recorded the shitty prophecy. Wing: "KEEP THAT ANACHRONISTIC, SACRILIGEOUS WITCHCRAFT OUT OF HIS SHADOWYNESS'S PRESENCE," hissed some other royal or another; Jeff thought they all looked rather alike because everything was so fucking misty all the time. He wasn't really sure what his Empress even looked like. Too much damn mist.

Mystic: OH MY GODHSADFNM,KJAQWELBDJFGHJSAD Mystic: G\ Mystic: B R U H

With that, the High Rulers of Arybiana made what is now known as the Protection Pact,

Wing: Yo, I think high schools do that in Sex Ed classes

Mystic: PFFFFFFFFFFF Mystic: when i read that i was like "the fuck is it called the protection pact what are they protecting what the fuck"

meaning that no one could re-tell the Prophecy without knowing each detail of it. The enchantment was that, if the wrong words slip or a piece of the Prophecy wasn’t told, the Emperor or Empress that committed it will have their life cut short.

It didn’t take very long for that to happen.

Wing: Literally fucking why

Mystic: uh

Wing: Who was sitting in there rubbing their hands together evilly and thinking "heheheh I will endanger the lives of everyone by spreading false information at great personal risk to myself as well wahahaha!!!" Oh wait Everyone on the internet

Mystic: good question Mystic: BASICALLY Mystic: also another thing I noticed: apparently I really liked the amnesia trope back in 2013

The first to die after the Prophecy was Wolverine Empress Velma, who missed one crucial phase: instead of saying ‘from the ashes of a White Blossom,’ she said, ‘from the ashes.’ She passed away suddenly, the COD unknown.

Wing: The poor little fish had long loved her from afar, but his affections came to naught with the Empress's untimely death.

"I should have known that I could not dare to challenge fate," the cod wept, a tear escaping to join the silvery waters in which he lived, "for what time, what reason, would there ever come...for a Queen to love a fish?"

Mystic: Oh, right, I abbreviated "cause of death" to "COD".... which was pretty unnecessary xD

Wing: Emperor Jeff and Dear COD are my favorite characters now

Mystic: i am glad that you have found some love within my poorly executed story hahaha xD

After her mix-up, the rest of the Rulers began to die off.

Wing: Math class was forever changed, until the invention of calculators with built-in measuring functions Wing: And by the way:

"I shall even put a slight enchantment on it as well, so you are even less likely to make that mistake"

YOU SUCK, SHADOW. WORST GOD EVER.

Mystic: yeeahhhhhhhh, that probably wasn't the best idea there.

Aaaaand that’s all for now! Let me know if you enjoyed this spork of an original story. If it’s received well, I’d be glad to do it again soon!