#imagine getting a whole ass resume for the last 25 years why they would make a good fat person??

[spikebhm]

Just gonna leave this here as a sticky for now:

if you dm me and just say "hi" or any iteration of this as a no effort starter to a convo, I will just block you from now on.

I'm not awfully active here anyway but I am glad to see the occasional dm here if you look for a convo!

But no one ain't got time to cater to you with attention.

Oh and I will also block anyone who sends me pics of themselves? Especially if they are like weight gain progression pics and then posting random big people with their head cropped off.

That's cringe. I also do not rate anyone here and I will never encourage anyone here unasked to gain weight. You gotta resolve that one with yourself, don't chase strangers attention.

Thank you for your time 😌

[diamondluxesugar]

His Money =/= Your Money

A while back I answered an ask about what I spend my money and I started thinking about how I manage my money as a young woman and how it can either make or break the future.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Let me start by saying that while I believe in being a kept woman, I don’t want to be 100% dependent on any man. I firmly believe in having your own AND having a partner that gives you everything you want and need. I’ve seen so many women change their lives completely because of a man, just to have his behavior change. He becomes complacent and stops providing, whether it’s financially, emotionally, or physically. Men will want to change you no matter who you are and what you do all to maintain their own ego and sense of dominance. A woman can be a neurosurgeon or a stripper and still find a man who wants her to quit her job because be a. feels inferior b. feels insecure or c. emasculated. Is that the woman’s fault? 

ABSOLUTELY NOT. 

Bill Clinton did it with Hillary. Sidney Poitier did it with Diahann Carroll. Joe AND Arthur did it with Marilyn. Offset did it to Cardi B. Men begin relationships with beautiful, intelligent, witty women and then try to get them to change who they are, to accept less than the best, to dim their shine so the man can be seen as having won her a prize. To be honest, I don’t even really care why men are like this. The simple truth is that they all are. But now that we all know this, the question becomes how do we combat it? How do we make sure that we’ll still be taken care of even if the men in our lives wake up one day and decide screw you over because you don’t fit into what and who they want you to be?

Answer: By having your own.

Have a job, have a volunteer organization in which you have an essential leadership role, have a successful blog or book or business. Just have SOMETHING that is more than just the spa days, hair appointments, and shopping trips. (Hell, if you’re really clever you can even turn that into a hustle, but that’s a conversation for another day) 

Having a job/transferable skills PLUS having an SD/boyfriend/sponsor(s) can be a lot to juggle, I know. I don’t know about you, but I put a lot of time and effort into my career. I’m constantly studying, developing new skills, reading the WSJ and researching anything that will give me a competitive edge. Yes, these things are time consuming and a lot less “fun” than shopping but it’s so important. I know I’ve mentioned this somewhere before, but you can’t put professional hoe on your resume. Having a job gives you security that you’ll be able to support yourself in case something goes left.

Trust me, things will go left in the blink of an eye. 

Look at the whole situation with Dr. Dre and Nicole Young. She’s trying to get $2M/month plus $5M legal fees as a settlement from him and part of the legal claim was denied. Why does she want that much? She is having trouble keeping up with her monthly expenses, Dr. Dre kicked her out of the house, he’s freezing the charges she’s making to cards, is saying that she’s embezzling money from him (and now she’s being investigated), and all types of foolishness. It’s messy and since she was “just a wife” how much of his $820M+ money is she going to get? Nicole was a lawyer before marrying him, and gave it up for him and for family. She adopted his 5 other children. How many nights do you think she was up having conversations with him about business, giving him advice, being a sounding board? Over 25 years?!

Seems like a lot of work just to be known as the devoted wife, am I right? Now since California is a communal property state, she’ll probably leave with something, but is it really going to be close to what she is accustomed to living on? Not to mention when you have that much money you KNOW he’s not going to part easily with any of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been moving things into secret trusts and oversees accounts since before the divorce paperwork was filed. However, imagine if during these years she built up a practice with her OWN contacts and clients, had her name plastered in the credits of everything he produced, had ownership stakes in all of the companies he created. Sis would be making out like a bandit right now. She’d be able to just pick up, take her lil divorce settlement money and ride off into the sunset with a hot buff pool boy. 

Instead she’s being dragged through the mud in court and in the press after dealing with Dr. Dre’s annoying ass for 25 years. How unfair. And if you aren’t satisfied with a celebrity example, I know women who got divorced and during the proceedings it came out that the man had an entire real estate company on the sly. Do you know how much money and how many secret deals it takes to have an entire RE portfolio on the side?

Ladies we have to play the long game. We have to have our own and whatever is being given to us needs to be the extra. 

No one can take your degrees or certificates (that his money paid for, but your brain received).

No one can take your career or professional experience(that you elevated using his money).

No one can take your connections and network (that he introduced you to, but you made your own). 

A person’s support can always be taken away, so the one thing you need to count on is yourself. Get those things that are valuable and will last you longer than this season’s designer..

-DLS

[invinciblerodent]

Oh spell ellie's name out for the nsfw ask meme B)

as if yall aren’t used to me going waaaaay too wordy huh

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) 

So I know this is mainly about sex, but I have some of her romantic history worked out, and fuck me if I’m not gonna use this opportunity to rant a bit.

The cornerstones of Ellie’s romantic past would be the Jesses; Jesse and Jessica, who both go by “Jess”. Jessica who was her first ever girlfriend (dated for about a year when they were like 16-ish, was her first in pretty much everything), and once they split up, her good friend and probably her biggest emotional support after her mom and brother. (Really, Ellie was maid of honor at Jessica’s wedding [to a lovely asari] when they were 25.)

Jesse she dated on-off, for basically all her college years. And yeah, they had a lot in common and whatnot, got along well (when not dating), went to high school together and started dating freshman year of college, but they were like.... not even like oil and water, but more like bleach and vinegar. Just very, very bad together.

Like, I could talk for hours about all the ways they didn’t work, about how many times they broke up with one of them storming out of the apartment they shared throughout grad school, and then ended up getting back together a few weeks later. But that relationship ended FOR GOOD when Jesse caught wind of the Andromeda Initiative and the role Ellie’s dad played in it. (He saw it as a colonialist shitshow just waiting to go wrong, and tbh, after that, Ellie kinda doubled down on it out of spite, and she would have rather bit her own tongue off than admit that she kinda thought he had a point.)

So Ellie’s pre-Andromeda love life (and sex life, by extension) was more or less just her.... navigating around her and Jess’ thunderous relationship, short periods of calm happiness, and a few rebound relationships lasting a month at best between spells of Jess. As a result of that, she’s pretty cautious and insecure in love, and for a 28 year old, she’s not very experienced either, never really managing to stick around with anyone before Jess swept back into her life and made her forget about whoever she was thinking about getting serious with.

..... that “sweeping” included a lot of near-violent makeout sessions in bar bathrooms, stumbling into her apartment already halfway naked, awkward, clumsy, kinda-drunk banging, having a soft and cuddly breakfast, and resuming the fighting over dinner.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Tbh, I’m thinking couches. Liam’s ratty, but oh-so-comfy couch. The weirdly angular and annoyingly slippery couch in her cabin. They joke about the comm room couches and having to time it right so nobody will catch them bare-assed.

There is just some kind of urgency about it that she likes. It just makes her feel wanted. So far they have not managed to watch a whole movie together, from beginning to end, and also remember it all over the cuddling/making out/having sex with a movie in the background.

Except for Earth Girls Are Easy. It’s her comfort movie, and she made him watch it with her when she was particularly bummed out.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

I imagine her to be giggly and playful, if given a chance. She’s kind of an awkward giraffe baby with those long, bony limbs and confidence issues, but it somehow just works with Liam’s own playfulness.

I mean, sometimes she’ll get on his lap, and he’ll just blow a raspberry on her boob. Or she’ll dig her oddly cold jesus christ why are they so COLD fingers in his armpit. Or they’ll take over the shower, and splash around while everyone else is on shore leave. Or he’ll take her base jumping on Eos and bang her in the dust without realizing that everyone in the control center can hear, which is canon and better than anything i could have come up with. Sex between them is almost always fun.

(Except that time after she found out that her dad was a lying scumbag who didn’t give a flying fuck about her, and also kidnapped her mother and made his kids bury her. I have a plan of writing that one out at some point.)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Now that I think about it, I... kinda see her as a little bit of a pillow princess? Sad as it sounds, for a long time, she had only really had sex with people she.... didn’t much like in the romantic sense. Or wasn’t happy with at the moment. So I kinda imagine her having gotten used to just giving in and letting it happen, rather than being a proactive and enthusiastic partner.

But, now that she is in a happy, loving, fulfilling relationship, she’s happy and eager to learn. Winkyface.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I actually thought about this and how it would work with the limited Ark luggage! 

So I recently remembered the quarian-made e-stim programs that were mentioned... I think in ME2? (and I’ve also been reading this webcomic, “Love Not Found”), and I’ve decided that fuck logic this is sci-fi, I’m sure it’s possible to install a sexy app on a standard omnitool. I mean let’s face it, as soon as something cool is invented, there WILL inevitably be a person somewhere whose first thought is “I wonder how I could get my jimmies off with that”.

And, I’m sure people were allowed to bring a personal data stick. So I’m pretty sure that was on Ellie’s: her favorite playlists, a lot of movies and tv shows, a lot of books, and in a password-protected folder, a small selection of programs for the e-stim application on her omnitool. Probably less sexy than the question suggests, but what the hell. (And, I mean, there are already toys that can be remote controlled by a partner through an app, so it could work. Also it could because I said so, but it’s good to know that it’s at least feasible in-universe.)