#imagine THAT being your biggest problem
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ain’t no way someone on my snap told me i can’t be a christian because i’m a goth 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
#imagine THAT being your biggest problem#thatcreepydoll#buttons talks#third world problems#goth christian#goth#close minded people bro 🙄🙄
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if you define yourself by not liking “flop” characters then you need to go outside and check your chronic online energy because YIKES
#imagine that being your biggest problem#just say you’re privileged and bored and move on jfc#tw: discourse#kat rambles
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Many things were used to describe the mad hermit of Amaurot: a drunkard, degenerate, cynical, and even monstrous by those who stirred trouble for the newly appointed Azem. But nothing could prepare Emet-Selch for what he would see for himself, when offered a chance to meet the Sun's Shadow.
#ffxiv#ancients#endwalker spoilers#emet selch#lahabrea#azem#azem oc#apollo#dionysus#hemitheos dionysus because I like the thought that anyone with soul sight will look at him#and they get to be jumpscared by what i like to personally imagine as a winged embodiment of void or the abyss#I would say the moon but within the context of FFXIV the moon isnt actually a normal astral body#though like azem/apollo and the role of the sun#I write dionysus to be the astrological moon#a character who represents the subconscious and the self- who often sees and brings out the worst in those around him#how I basically describe as being around him will break you to your barest so you can remake yourself into something better than before#unfortunately for the convocation he is also an antithesis to their ways and their biggest critic- out of love- funnily enough#also dont mind the idea that magic (especially creation magic) is so deeply ingrained that the idea of manual work is surprising to people#dionysus has to constantly use his aether to suppress his power he's either doing things by hand or sleeping#ancient zenos does not get to escape the sleepy curse#weird vintner in the mountains found lounging off in the middle of his vineyard#emet expecting dion to be the problem out of the duo until he realizes that /apollo/ is the overprotective cryptic and chaotic weirdo#with the power to stop an active volcano#and dion is the chill and collected hardworking man who despite everything is more human than most#tbh this was mostly inspired by the scenes with thordan and varis and how they react to WoL and Zenos in those moments#for dion/zenos it is their being while on the flip side for WoL/Azem it is their choices and the expression of such choices
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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be mine.
billy sighs. rests his forehead against the cool metal of his locker. tries to ignore the hum of people talking around him. holding hands. cuddling. it’s a shitty day. it’s a shitty day and billy knew it was going to be a shitty day before it even started.
he knew because he had been the one to say it. yesterday. to tell steve that they’re not- that billy doesn’t need to be treated like a fucking girl. that they’re just screwing around. that he doesn’t give a shit if steve wants to fuck someone else today.
that steve might as well go crawling back to wheeler because billy sure as shit can’t hold his hand or call him sweetheart in the hallways. that he gets enough heat at home without the whole of hawkins high knowing how much of a queer billy hargrove is.
and then billy had walked off. slammed the door behind him and gone home. had picked a fight with neil just to top it off.
all because he was scared.
is scared. scared of steve harrington with his preppy fuckin’ polos and dumb hair. his pretty eyes and pretty smile and ability to tilt billy’s world on its axis just by looking at him. scared that steve will get bored of him. that he’ll realise billy isn’t worth the effort.
scared.
billy sighs again. shuffles back slightly and glares down as he twists the lock. the door swings open and billy is halfway to grabbing the book he needs when something falls out. a scrap of paper. no bigger than the palm of his hand. a note.
it lands on billy’s boot.
he looks around. wonders who had felt brave enough- dumb enough to shove a note through billy’s locker on a day like today. he bends down. picks it up. reads the words in front of him.
quarry, 9.
there’s a little heart scribbled on the top right hand corner. billy traces the familiar writing with a thumb. feels that all too familiar feeling in his chest. he clenches his fist. hears the crinkle of paper as he does.
then he looks up again. into his locker. really looks, this time.
a pack of marlboro reds lay on top of his books. unopened. new.
next to those, something smaller. candy, billy realises. a sweetheart, specifically. the words kiss me etched in pink.
billy smiles. can’t help it, really. it’s restrained. barely there. just a small twitch of his lips but a smile nonetheless. his first smile of the day. credit to steve fuckin’ harrington and his inability to leave well alone.
billy smooths the note out. places it next to the reds. next to the heart. tries to tamp down on the butterflies swarming in his chest. he takes a deep breath before stuffing the cigarettes and note into his pocket.
his hand hovers over the sweetheart.
“hey.”
billy pulls his hand back. fast. as if he’d been burned. he looks to his left. locks eyes with the boy now standing next to him. feels his heart stutter. “hey.”
steve gives him a knowing smile. “good day?”
“no.” billy frowns. you already knew that. “pretty shitty actually.”
steve leans. folds his arms. “that bad, huh?”
better now that you’re here. billy swallows. turns away from steve. back to his locker. “did you want something, harrington?”
“nah, just..” steve smirks. reaches out. billy feels his breath hitch. steve’s smile gets wider. he flicks billy’s earring. once. before turning on his heel with a see you around thrown billy’s way.
a promise. something deeper to them but. casual. friendly to anyone watching.
billy watches him leave. wonders if steve might be okay with them having to do things differently. wonders if this might be enough for steve. for them. wonders if he could be enough for steve. hopes-
billy jumps when the bell rings.
-
they meet up later. at the quarry like steve had said. neil under the assumption that billy’s seeing some girl. steve’s parents likely thinking the same.
billy feels as though a weight has been lifted as soon him and steve tumble into the back of the beemer. all cold hands and fumbling with belts. awkward limbs and steamed up windows. and billy lets it happen. lets himself be held. lets steve be sweet to him.
billy lets it happen. finds himself thinking that today might not be all bad. and that he might be more than a little bit in love with steve harrington. he pushes the second thought down. focuses on winding a hand into steve’s hair and sucking a mark into the soft skin just below his jaw, instead.
not all bad.
-
later finds them huddled under a blanket in the back of steve's beemer. sharing a cigarette. marlboro. red. steve nudges billy after a few minutes. doesn't say anything just. nudges him. billy tilts his head to the side. gives steve a look. steve just looks down as his hand finds billy's under the blanket.
then he presses something small into the palm of billy’s hand.
billy raises an eyebrow in question but steve’s already looking away. staring out into the night. cigarette glowing in the dark. billy rolls his eyes. wiggles his arm free and holds the object up to the window to get a better look.
be mine.
he laughs. loudly. tries to hide the racing of his heart. calls steve a fuckin' cheese. and a sweetheart. waits until steve turns to face him again before pressing the candy to steve's lips and pulling him in to exchange kisses that are almost too soft. too sweet for whatever this is. whatever they agreed for this to be.
steve pulls back first. whispers against billy’s lips “hey, baby?”
“yeah?”
“happy valentine’s day.”
“…yeah.”
almost.
steve grins and reaches out to play with one of billy’s curls. billy laces their fingers together under the blanket.
or maybe it’s just right.
#billy ��i’m too hard to love’ hargrove and steve ‘i’m literally so in love with you’ harrington#the queers are queering#billy hargrove#steve harrington#harringrove#my words#i was thinking of those love heart sweets we have here and found out sweethearts are a thing so here we are#i haven’t done my research so idk if they were a thing then but i assume they were#so#suspend your disbelief if you must#anyway#i think it’s fun to imagine steve’s biggest gripe being his sexuality crisis at the begging of them hooking up#but once that’s out of the way he’s just got billy on the brain#but billy’s problems come later when he has to be like#vunerable with his emotions#and he immediately tries to build the walls he knocked down back up#because it’s safer that way#but steve just won’t have any of it#yeah that#also he feels bad because steve can’t be all steve with him in public and it’s like#a thing#but steve finds ways to work around it
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Scenes in the McLaren garage after Fernando faked having engine problems:
+
#THANK YOU TO MIN FOR ENCOURAGING ME#i cant stop fucking laughing im actually so proud of these 😭😭😭😭#i wanted to make a meme after seeing that post abt nando faking problems#but i didnt know who else to put next to jense#BUT THEN I REALIZED FUCKING RON DENNIS CAME BACK TO MCLAREN DURING THE JENSE-FERNANDO YEARS 😭😭#can you imagine being ron dennis and you leave mcl in 2009 and youre like well thank god im dome with that#having had your biggest controversy in 2007 with that fucking maniac Fernando Alonso#and then you come back to Mclaren in 2014 and you end up signing Fernando the very next season#ITS SO HILARIOUS TO ME 😭😭😭😭#they're both probably like 'oh god not this guy again'#also the amount of ron dennis pics i had to save to find the perfect one is truly sickening#like min said even one ron dennis pic on your phone is probably too much#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#ron dennis#jenson button#we do a little bit of f1
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caved and watched the first 5 episodes of hotd and rn all i gotta say is i wouldn't even wish the fate of being a high ranking offical's daughter/wife in the GoT universe onto my worst enemy godddd
#YES I'M MAD LATE AND I SAID I'D WATCH IT A YEAR AGO....PLANS CHANGE STUFF HAPPENS but i always kept it on my mind#my least faves so far....otto and the cole guy.#not the biggest fan of daemon either rn. well it's more like whyyyy does he love to cause problems on purpose#all of this probs subject to change except otto i'm so glad viserys called him out on essentially pimping out his daughter#my thoughts on rhaenicent omfg........not for the weak and ik it's only gonna get worse#other thoughts. mysaria. lowkey queen i cannot blame her for getting a bag when she's just been screwed over#v interesting how even viserys is nottt above the system that allowed him to be king and HAS to take a wife + have kids#bc of his fucking council...and chooses alicent which i gasped at even tho ik it was coming obvi#like it was either her or his 12 y/o cousin when he's like. pushing 40??? mid 30s??? idfk#ick all around tho poor alicent her wearing that green dress. a statement. damn.#rhaenyra they can never make me hate you...never...am i always gonna be happy with her actions.no. am i gonna defend her. probs#srsly tho it's her birthright to be queen bottom line. i liked her seeing the white stag that was nice#rip to laenor's bf he did notttt deserve that at all ik cole thought he was being blackmailed and was mad paranoid atp but bro#imagine watching your secret lover die on your arranged marriage night if i was laenor u would have to drag me to that altar#um tldr i like it i'm scared acting supurb i like the tidbits at the end where they explain everyone's actions#hotd#my text
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I just wanna know why everyone who you disagree with is magically the worst person you can think of. Someone says something you don't like and suddenly you act like they are a frankensteins monster made of all the worst people you've met and you've invented a whole story about them when you have no evidence of anything you're assuming.
Speaking as someone who had to unlearn this, it's really blatant and obvious when you decide to stick a bunch of hateable traits to a stranger so you can feel good about being shitty to them. That anon was right. You have zero nuance man.
awww that sounds so rough and terrible for you!!!! I hope you can cry yourself to sleep about that and learn to cope with the fact a quadriplegic transgender on the internet doesn’t like you and doesn’t think they owe you infinite hand holding and cock sucking because you’re a stupid fucking pile of shit who makes their inability to read about anything except themselves everyone else’s fucking problem for some reason
genuinely I hope you get the fuck over yourself soon. this ask just SCREAMS that you’re a sheltered fucking prick who’s never been told “no” in their entire pathetic existence. your inability to accept you aren’t entitled to me isn’t my problem. go punch a mirror over it you stupid ass child
#lol. Lmao even#I feel bad for anyone who is friends with you#imagine being this fucking spineless and pathetic and choosing my attitude to be the thing you devote your time to criticize#news flash you dumb bitch: some people are homeless!!!!#just because they’re not you doesn’t mean they don’t exist!!!!!#YOU might think me being mean to YOU is the biggest problem ever but it’s simply fuckjng not and you need to grow the fuck up bitch
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#ok I’m so proud of myself bc this involves finance which is something I avoid at all costs but like I did it!!#my work failed to process my check which I should have received yesterday. I’m now expected to get it next week#and part of growing up poor is like. idk. this learned helplessness or defeatist attitude with money problems#like ohh it’s my bad I should’ve had more savings to cover waiting an extra week or longer for my monthly check#and historically I just shut down and panic while doing nothing bc this is my biggest possible stressor to come across#but!!! being around rich people? I’ve learned they negotiate!! and demand to not be inconvenienced!!#my work was like ehh I’m sorry too bad so sad about your check and I was like actually no#I explained how this impacts my ability to pay rent. my credit score. how they didn’t inform me in time to stop bill autopay#and asked what their detailed plan is to fix this#and within an hour admin was scrambling. four different people emailed me apologizing for the mix up#and they worked it out with finance to get me a $2000 loan to get me by until the check hits#but I was like actually no. I won’t be paying interest on this because I shouldn’t be penalized for your error#and so they GOT RID OF INTEREST#0% interest cash advance essentially that covers all my bills#I picked up the physical check for the 2k today so it’s legit thank god#I thanked everyone involved and remained extremely polite#and they said if there’s any other questions you have please let us know#so I was like actually you know what lmao#I explained that I’ve incurred fees for overdrafts and returned items due to bill autopay that I couldn’t cancel due to them informing me#basically the day of my check being late#and so I specifically said I’ve incurred $270 in fees at this point as a result of your error and I shouldn’t be expected to pay this.#and!! they just said… okay!!! I just got an email that they’ve processed a secondary check for $270!!#so like?!?! what?!?! is this what life is like when you don’t shy away from discussing money?!#im genuinely shocked. this is a life lesson. I never would have imagined this outcome#thank god I decided to not take it lying down
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I can't post it here cause it'l get my blog wiped but Wolfgang Tillmans has this really beautiful photo Nackt, 2 (Nude, 2) that is just this extreme closeup of some dudes butt and ballsack and it makes me want to shoot some beautifully lit high art nudes. I would love to do some Mapplethorpey photos shot on my big 4x5 camera on a really lovely film stock. Im just not much of a model myself so i'd have to find a guy to pose for it.
#the biggest problem is that type of image is so intimate that you gotta have someone you really trust and connect with#and you have to be careful with sharing the images around obviously because of that same thing#you gotta be very very clear about how the images are being used and where and getting consent for using them that way#i knew someone in uni who got a model to do a nude shoot for her and didnt tell her model that the photos were going to be printed large#and used in a gallery show at the university#which is a nightmare i cant imagine being that person and seeing your naked body plastered huge on a wall without your consent
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Seashell: Is that why you broke it off with them? Hibiscus: I guess it’s why all of my relationships ended. Like, I know I have an athletic and academic… reputation at school. But I’m just some guy, at the end of the day. I wanna hang out with my friends at the skatepark and play sports that I enjoy and have a really fun senior year. I’m not interested in becoming everybody’s golden child.
#ts4 legacy#ts4 storytelling#ts4#berry sweet sims#pastel rainbowcy#dream bpr#dream gen 3#hibiscus dream#seashell snow dream#imagine your biggest problem in life is being too smart and athletic and attractive
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going 2 bed byeeeee
#cupid.exe#currently imagining myself going back to school in jan and i am this close to crying omg its not that serious#tsk imagine youre biggest problem being highschool wait untill this bitch hears about taxes and debt and jobs
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You hate capitalism because you have to wait 5 seconds to skip the ad and I hate capitalism because I don’t have the luxury of hobbies, rest, hygiene, knowing what job(s) I’m going to have next week, or being allowed to even apply for an apartment I wouldn’t be able to afford anyway. We are not the same
#to be clear I’m not saying the ads aren’t a symptom of a larger problem or that they aren’t plain annoying#it’s just.. imagine that being your beef w capitalism. imagine that being one of your biggest annoyances#and before anyone is like ‘your stress levels are filling you with contempt for others and effecting your ability to connect w them’#yes I agree. that is another upsetting aspect of the problem I am describing. this is another thing I hate about capitalism#ppl who are like ‘remember not to burn out bc it affects how u feel abt everything in life’ are so close to getting the point#we all deserve better. *and* I feel extremely alone in my problems and the way ppl respond to them is tone deaf. two things can be true#mine#txt#vent post
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i really want to be all grown up and keep up with the news but
#seeing all these big horrifying things happen to so many people all over the world#i feel so small and helpless and dumb#it takes me back to crying in my moms car because my dad scolded me and her saying. well. other people have much bigger problems than you#so stop crying#this isn't even worth crying about he treats me worse imagine if i cried everytime he did something little bad like that#i couldn't even say anything. i was so young man i want to let go of that memory i have better people in my life now who love me#i know better about being sad dealing with being sad i now know that you can't compare problems with anyone#your smallest problem might be their biggest most hurtful and they could be as hurt as you are for your biggest problem everyone is just#built and raised different like that#but i just. i can't#who am i to cry about abstract things like not having enough love when people are losing their loved ones to a war they can't control?? who#am i to cry about not being passionate about my career when people who wanted to study who were already so happy and successful after#working so hard lost their lives out of nowhere??#idk it's like. i don't even want to live. and then all this makes me feel like i don't deserve to live#i know me existing or not existing won't make a difference to all of those people but still#okay straight up making no sense rn
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♡ slashers scenarios | sharing a bed
♡ fandoms; The Boy, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original + 2006), House of Wax, Dead by Daylight, slashers (general)
♡ characters; Brahms Heelshire, Micheal Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Vincent Sinclair
♡ reader; gender neutral
♡ cw; very suggestive content, implied smut
♡note; swapped out billy in this one bc i can’t imagine him sharing a bed with someone and not getting literally pornographic
•┈••��� ❤ ✦••┈•
Brahms Heelshire
> Once he decides he wants to share the bed, he finds the biggest guest room bed and brings all of the comfiest pillows and blankets he can to make it perfect
> For you more than him, but he doesn’t feel too hurt when you push half of them to the foot of the bed
> It was a lot even for a king bed
> You’re reluctant at first, not used to sharing a bed
> But you find he’s very hard to say no to once you’re in that deep
> He tries to give you space, but it’s not long before he’s wrapped around you, clinging for dear life
> And he almost immediately falls asleep like that, head tucked into your chest
> You sigh and try and relax, petting his hair
> And you fall asleep with your hand still tangled in his black locks, holding him close to you
> You wake up to him nuzzling your neck and practically whining
> “Baby…wake up…”
> You’d ask him what the problem was…if you couldn’t feel it against your leg
> You spend most of the morning still in bed, lazily fixing his predicament
Micheal Myers
> He doesn’t get why you want him to do this
> You know he doesn’t cuddle
> You know he usually gets restless and wanders at night
> But there’s no reason to say no, and even he can’t stand how sad your pout is
> You hum and stretch, tucking yourself in and look at him expectantly
> He takes off his boots and lays on top of the covers beside you, stiff as a board
> You have to coax him to even take the mask off, but he still won’t relax
> You quickly realize he’s used to high security psych ward bunks, not big comfy queen beds full of stuffed animals
> “…do you…wanna sleep on the floor?”
> He pauses.
> Shakes his head and closes his eyes.
> After you finally fall sleep, he sits up, intending on leaving
> But you look so peaceful…he can’t help to stay and watch you. Just for a little while.
> When he touches your cheek, you press into his hand. Maybe a while longer.
> When you wake up he’s still staring at you, hand long gone from your cheek
> But once you blink awake, it creeps somewhere else..
Thomas Hewitt
> He’s almost nervous of the idea
> Y’all are certainly intimate with each other - just as intimate as you would be if you were married like his mama was planning
> But what if the family noticed you were in there? He’d kill Hoyt for calling you anything nasty-
> When he sees you in skimpy PJs, he immediately forgets his worries
> He has a huge bed because he’s a huge guy, so when you curl up in it alone, it’s almost comical
> He’s staring at you as he climbs in after you, cautiously removing his mask
> His shoulders relax a little when you smile up at him, still so amazed you can stand to look at him
>“Hold me?”
> He grunts and takes no time in pulling you flush, spooning you. He’s more relaxed than he’s been in a while, sure he’ll fall asleep in no time
> Until you give a tiny sigh and shift your hips, innocently adjusting
> It doesn’t take much for you to set him off- he’s touch starved and obsessed with you.
> Along with feeling him against your ass, you can literally hear his breathing change.
> “…Tommy baby? Want me to take care of that?”
> It takes another two hours before you fall asleep, both sticky with sweat and sated, your head laying on his broad chest.
Bubba Sawyer
> He’s so happy to have a sleepover- even if you live right down the hall in the same house (I cannot imagine you dating him and being allowed to leave the farm tbh)
> He gives you an updated tour of his room- he’s very happy to show you the collection of polaroids of you he hung up.
> You were wondering where those went
> Finally he drops you on the bed, giggling quietly
> It’s old but comfy, and he has plenty of stolen pillows and blankets, and even some stuffed bears
> He strips right on down to his heart boxers, leaving his mask on for last
> He takes it off slowly, giving you that shy look he always does
> You grin and open your arms and he’s more than happy to scoop you up with a coo.
> By the time you’re settled, you’re curled around his back
> He loves being the little spoon, even if he’s a big brute
> When you wake up he’s bursting back into the room with some slightly burnt toast for breakfast
> It’s a sudden wake up call, but a welcome one
> And you repay him in tons of kisses, all over
Vincent Sinclair
> Like some of the others he’s hesitant
> But you want him to relax, he’s been working so hard- so you take him away from the studio, and into your room
> You’re not even letting him so much as sketch until he sleeps
> He tilts his head and is almost pouting, trying to guilt you - even more so once you help him remove his wax
> Until you coax him into his stomach so you can massage his back, that is
> You’re clumsy and certainly not a professional, but your hands on him is enough to melt away the stress
> He suddenly rolls over and grabs your hips as he hears you yawn
> It’s your turn to pout down at him
> But eventually you relent and let him cradle you close to his chest as he hums a nonsense lullaby
> You keep him trapped in bed the next morning as revenge, again straddling him before he can get up to leave
> But this time, you’re most certainly not yawning
#slashers#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#tcm 2006#tcm#bubba sawyer x reader#bubba sawyer#house of wax#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair#the boy 2016#brahms heelsire x reader#brahms heelshire#micheal myers#rz michael myers#micheal myers x reader#rz myers x reader#rz halloween#halloween#dead by daylight#slashers x y/n#slashers x reader#slashers x you#slasher imagines#gender neutral reader#g/n reader#cw suggestive#cw smut
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Bachelors ~ Stardew Guys x Male Farmer Reader
Imagines in a headcannon style (kinda) with the stardew guys: first meets, dates, pinning, SMUT Characters: Alex, Sebastian + Short bonuses of Sam & Harvey! Top!Characters x Bottom!Reader Word count: 4.5k Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI
Meeting Alex for the first time
The two of you met on your first day in the village. You had introduced yourself to his grandparents first, and as you were about to leave his grandma forced him to say 'hi'. Unlike the fairytales, you two were quite indifferent about each other for the first couple of weeks - Alex was his usual self whenever you'd see him, that being rude and arrogant, so you weren't his biggest fan. But since you'd promised to yourself that you'd make friends with every villager, you kept insisting on the brunette; chatting with him almost everyday and giving him gifts from time to time.
Alex didn't really get it, but he did feel weird the first time he met you; his heart beating faster and his words not coming to him. The jock of course brushed this off though, not even entertaining the idea of having some sort of crush on you, a man. On the other hand, you had come to terms with the fact that your want to be friends with Alex was partially driven by an attraction to him. Hey no judgment here! It would be hard for anyone to not get hot and bothered when you see the man shirtless on the daily; flexing his muscles and working out while he chats with you.
Mutual pining
It didn't take long for Alex to start catching feelings for you, but it did take long for him to accept that fact. After a month or so of knowing each other, Alex started to feel more comfortable around you, meaning his tough exterior started to crumble and the real Alex showed himself to you. The fact that Alex felt so comfortable around you made him feel some type of way, he'd never been able to be so raw and real with anyone; family or friend, girl or guy. It took many late night conversations with you, avoiding looking into your eyes too long and hiding his tan face as it turns to a pink hue, for the gridballer to come to terms with the fact that he had not only caught feelings for you, but he also had the MASSIVE hots for you! I mean, anyone with eyes with have the hots for you. You were a farmer, so your body spoke for itself, but your kindheartedness and way with animals made the bachelors of the village swoon for you! And as you and Alex hung out more and more, the brunette would catch himself admiring you a little too much; oh and this got worse as summer came by! The amount of times Alex would pop a boner cause he'd seen you shirtless was ridiculous... He couldn't help it! Your body, your arms, your chest, your belly UGH! Let's just say every inch of you had crossed Alex's mind when he would deal with the hard problems you'd cause him.
Pinning over Alex wasn't exactly easy for you. Up until the very moment the meat-head asked you out, you were convinced he was straight! So your very massive crush on the jock was kept on the low, reserved for late night fantasies and daydreams when you would spend time with him. But it would get harder and harder not to blush around the muscular man, especially since he was comfortable enough around you to just whip off most of his clothes! The amount of damn times you'd gotten hard from seeing Alex's sweaty, tan muscles as he works out; his muscular arms flexing, his six-pack tensing, his thick thighs bulging out of his shorts (and that wasn't the only thing bulging out of his shorts!). In short, more and more time with Alex was expanding your spank bank more and more!
The only reason Alex finally had the guts to ask you out was because of Haley! Hilariously, the both of you would confide in the blonde about your 'unrequited' feelings and worries, without knowing that the other was telling her the exact same thing! Eventually the girl got rightfully fed up, so she just told Alex to shut up midway through a 'woe is me' monologue and told him that you liked him back. The closet lesbian wished she'd recorded how quickly Alex had sprinted out of her room and to your farm! The moment was quite romantic to be fair to Alex, for it being extraordinarily spontaneous. He'd picked up some flowers from the village square (which the mayor later scolded him for) and knocked on your door then and there. Despite it being quite late at night, you opened the door, and was happily surprised to see a panting Alex standing in front of you, with a shabby bouquet of flowers held out to you. And after a very stuttery and hesitant confession, Alex asked you out - to which you didn't respond for a moment, which of course made the Jocks heart drop to his asshole! DID HALEY SET HIM UP???? But after a few moments, you could only respond to his confession with a chaste kiss; which the both of you will never stop thinking about.
Dates together
Dating Alex is extremely heteronormative to be frank. The man had an abusive and probably misogynistic father, of course he'd want to be 'the man' in the relationship despite both of you having dicks! So he's always the one to pay for things, always helping you around the farm in his spare time, and always insisting that he's the one to plan dates so that you don't have to worry. But hey, you can't really complain - he's doing all of the hard work! Alex is always there for you, helping you with anything you need; which is a real turn on, but you can't help but feel bad that he does so much for you. This leads to you trying to help Alex in other ways, which does unfortunately continue the heteronormativity of your relationship. You'll cook for Alex and always have him round for dinner, and you always offer to help him round the house if he ever mentions a job his grandparents have given him - very stereotypical behaviour, but you both don't really mind it.
Dates themselves can be anything with you two, you're both happy just spending time together. If Alex wants to treat you to a fancy date, the two of you will have a late night wine and dine at the saloon followed with a very spicy night at home. But the more regular dates include TV nights at your place or beach days and nights!
Time alone (smut)
Again, Alex's masculinity tends to be on the more fragile side, despite it significantly improving since meeting you, so he continues his manly shtick in the bedroom as well. Not only does that mean that the brunette is strictly a top (which there's no complaints about), but also that he prefers to have a more dominant role when you two get it on. But this isn't a big problem for your relationship, your dynamic already being very binary makes this dynamic easy to adopt. When it comes to what you two like to do, Alex is addicted to doggy style, he just fucking loves giving you backshots; watching your ass jiggle as his hips smack against it, the sound of your skin slapping against his turns the man on so, so much! That is to say, Alex isn't opposed to any other position, sex is sex! As long as he gets to hit it, he doesn't really care that much. His libido really does match his personality, the jock likes to have sex so much that you got a bit worried he had an addiction at one point! But in reality, Alex just fucking loves you so much that he needs to physically express it (we all know that words aren't his strong suit). Genuinely, you could literally smile at your boyfriend and he'll get hard. You two have fucked in coops and stables just because Alex couldn't help himself after watching you be so kind and cute with the animals!
Speaking of location, whilst you two are most comfortable in the bedroom, beach sex does sometimes happen; and you both fucking LOVE it. After an afternoon in the water and chatting in the sun, Alex and you love to stargaze after the sunsets; and laying next to each other in only swim trunks, having no one else around, silence except for each other's breathing and the sound of the sea, of course the romantic atmosphere and the closeness gets you two going! Riding Alex as he lays down on the beach towel, his strong hands on your hips as you bounce up and down on his dick, the moon and stars shining behind you making you look incredible; it's just perfect. And when the tables flip and Alex is the one with the moonlight shining on his muscles and gorgeous face as he drills into you missionary style, you can't help but get so fucking turned on!
Oh and when it comes to any specific kinks? You already know that Alex 100% has a thing for sports gear. Fucking you whilst you're wearing his varsity jacket or his gridball shirt makes the jock feel slightly possessive over you, and that just turns him on even more. Giving you backshots whilst you wear a jockstrap? Alex has never been more hard! And holy shit does the man look hot as fuck in his gridball gear, just sweaty after a little practice, his muscles gleaming as his white jockstrap becomes almost see through, his high-socks accentuating his calves - your boyfriend just looks like a fucking sex god. And just as a little tidbit, Alex has a huge thing for blowjobs. He just loves running his fingers through your hair and looking into your eyes as he gets the best, sloppiest head of his life~
Meeting Sebastian for the first time
It's no surprise that you first encountered this emo on a rainy evening. You had gone out into the mountain on a late night walk, umbrella in hand as you walked the dim path; that was when you saw Sebastian's hooded figure just standing on the cliff, smoking a cigarette. You swiftly introduced yourself to the taller man, checking that he wasn't about to die of hypothermia from the cold and offering to share your umbrella. The encounter wasn't awkward, it was silent, sure, but it was a comfortable silence - the sound of the rain and the soft drags of Sebastian's cigarette made you feel oddly calm. Though few words were spoken, you two got to know each other pretty well, well enough to hang out the following week.
Being friends with Seb was great! He liked his alone time, so you two weren't constantly together, but the times you two hung out were always good. It was just that... there was always this weird, light tension in the air whenever you and the emo were alone. Prolonged eye-contact, lingering touches on his arms and shoulder or on your thighs and hands, and complimenting each other would always result in beat-red faces. You were very aware of the fact that you were crushing on your very handsome friend, so you would jokingly, lightly flirt with Sebastian; you would compliment his piercings (cause YES he 100% has piercings), play with his hair and call him a hunk whenever he revealed his muscles. It was all playful though, it wasn't as if every single one of your actions was making Sebastian spiral more and more about his sexuality!
Mutual pining
Seb didn't take long to come to terms with the fact that he was actually head over heels for you, it was more his sexuality he was struggling with. But outside of his constant internal debates about how to label himself, Sebastian was more than willing to flirt with you and see how it goes. Sometimes, the two of you would smoke together, the taller man never letting you use one of your own straights and giving you one of his own - he'd even changed the brand of cigs he'd buy to the ones you like. He liked asking you to go for a smoke whenever it was windy, to make sure that you cling to him for warmth; and if Seb got lucky, you wouldn't be able to light your cigarette because of the wind, allowing him to swoop in like a saviour and light your cig with the end of his, bringing his face so, so close to yours. So close that he could feel your breath hitch from the proximity, so close that he could look into your eyes with no distractions. Sebastian would become more talkative around you, he still wouldn't chat as much as you did, but the emoboy would show more and more of himself everyday. Oh and as Sebastian became more and more desperate to share his feelings with you, his flirting would get just a little more intense; compliments becoming part of his greeting whenever you two would meet up, touching becoming more common, and a little jealousy showing whenever other guys would get a little too friendly with you. Your part of the flirting was less direct. You would often compliment Seb on his piercings (as already said), touching the cold metal on his face with a smile as you look into the taller man's dark eyes. The two of you would hangout in Sebastian's room a lot, just rotting in bed as you chat or he does work, and you would do your best not to blush at the pair of designer boxers left on his bed or dresser (which Seb defo didn't leave out to push the boundaries).
Dates together
This man asked you out in the most romantic way possible. He made sure that you both had the evening free and said he wanted to take you somewhere. THIS MAN takes you on a ride on his motorcycle, making sure your arms are tight around his waist, your head resting on his back, and he takes you to a small cliff with the most beautiful view of the city. Sebastian then gives you a somewhat long speech about how much he's changed and how much his life has changed since you'd met him, how he's never felt this way for anyone and how he feels so alive when he's around you, how he feels like his heart is on fire whenever he sees you around other guys. And instead of giving a conclusion to his speech, he just puts his strong, veiny hands around your waist and kisses you. Safe to say you were fucking smitten after that.
Ever since then you two have been kinda inseparable, visiting each other for hours at a time, going on dates every week; Sebastian is an incredible boyfriend. To form some sort of tradition, on every anniversary, Seb always takes you on a ride on his bike and brings you back to that cliff where you two made it official; having set up a candle-lit picnic, he's just so cute. Even though you've both limited your smoking, the way you've done so is in itself very romantic. You two are allowed one cigarette a day, one for the two of you, not one each! So whenever it's your turn to have a drag, Sebastian will take a puff and shotgun the smoke into your mouth, his manly hand holding your face close to his, your lips just barely a millimeter apart.
Time alone (smut)
HEY EMO BOY! You just know that dick is huuuuge. Long, white and veiny with a pink tip. Sebastian is uncut and you already know that man has a prince albert! You've teased him about his dick piercing before, but he flips the tables real quick saying how he knows that you love it - and he's not wrong. Holy fuck does his dick just feel so fucking good inside you, and ten times better cause of that fucking piercing! The cold metal rubbing against your walls, the hard material jabbing into your prostate from time to time, making you fucking writhe underneath your boyfriend. Oh and Seb has a sleeper build for sure! All he has to do is take that hoodie off and give a little flex, and his whole body becomes like that of a Grecian statue - just massive arms, wide shoulders, rock hard abs, thick thighs, and massive, pillow-like pecs. It doesn't help that the muscular man's favorite position is missionary, making him seem even more massive and strong looming above you as he fucks the shit out of you. Another hot thing to point out is the obsidian coloured bars going through both of his nipples, contrasting the soft pink of his flesh so nicely - He's just so fucking hot!
Sebastian definitely has the hots for public blowjobs - he's usually not the biggest fan of PDA or even being in public, but damn he just can't help but get so turned on when your sucking his dick in public! Just the thrill of maybe being caught with his dick out and down your throat while on some park bench. He also can't deny that he likes to see the nature around him, the gravel beneath you as you're on your knees in front of him, the trees around and the sound of the water - it turns Seb on but he also just finds it beautiful, he can't help that he's an emo at heart, just so emotional!
But if Sebastian had to admit, he'd say that his ultimate sexual fantasy is just fucking like some gross, incel. Don't get him wrong, Sebastian is like the opposite of an incel! His political views are obviously very liberal! But he just can't deny the fact that the idea of fucking in his room, door locked, just spending the weekend in his room, just fucking, chilling and fucking some more without worrying about work, friends, or even getting up to shower, that shit just really turns him on! He's often fantasied about how you'd look fucked out on his bed, body drenched in sweat and at least 10 full condoms decorating your body and his bed - the idea gets him as hard as a rock! And who knows, maybe Seb has already booked you two a little cabin in the woods for your five year anniversary to do just that...
Bonus: Sam
Meeting Sam is a moment you think about very often. You first ran into him near the mountains, just sitting on a bench and playing his guitar, humming and singing along - and you found that so so attractive. You were thirsting over this man since your first meeting!
You had been pining over Sam since your first meeting, so your view on the friendship which prospered hadn't really changed. You were happy being friends with the guitar player, but you would drop small comments here and there, flirting with the man ever so slightly - which the neither of you really minded. Sam on the other hand, he realised that his feelings for you were anything but platonic and couldn't really hide it; this man couldn't stop blushing whenever you were even mentioned in conversation, let alone when he was actually around you! And let's be so real, his feelings for you were of course very romantic, but also incredibly sexual, so of course Sam was straight up jerking it to fantasies of you on the regular!!
Sam's confession to you was real sweet though, and quite heated as well... He'd asked to meet you at his house one day during winter and immediately invited you into his room when he noticed your pink nose and ears. He was stuttering and blushing as he professed his undying romantic feelings towards you, and his body only increased in temperature ten fold after you responded to his confession with a kiss. Sam couldn't get enough of your soft lips and smooth hands on his face, which turned what was meant to be a short kiss into a full blown make out sesh! The two of you were on Sam's bed for like an hour, just making out and grinding against eachother fully clothed. But before the guitarist could take things any further, Sam's mother interrupted the two of you with a knock on the door. And hilariously, when asked why he looked so flushed and sweaty, Sam simply said he was doing push ups...
Ugh and dating Sam is just so wholesome. Good luck kisses before shows are a must, and its a tradition that the two of you have stuck to; from when Sam was playing small gigs to when the two of you had left the village and moved to the city after Sam's band had skyrocketed in fame. The blonde had even written you a song and played it at one of his bigger shows at the time, dedicating it to you and going on a small rant about how important you are to him and that the band wouldn't exist without you (how fucking cute is that.
Now on the more spicy side of the relationship, when the two of you were still living in the village, Sam would always dirty talk and fantasise about being famous and fucking you like a rockstar; and he stayed true to his word. The both of you are usually very horny after Sam plays a show, what? like you're supposed to watch your boyfriend get all sweaty on a stage as he plays guitar and sings a couple of songs about you and NOT get really fucking turned on??? And whilst not making him sound like a douche, the applause and the thrill of playing for a bunch of people really gets Sam going, so show nights usually end up getting real steamy. You do sometimes get jealous because of Sam's numerous fan girls' behaviour, your mood souring slightly and your clingyness decreasing. Sam always notices though, and he makes sure that you know that you're the only one he has eyes for by rocking your world; starting the night with making you cum just from eating you out and fingering you, and then making you almost immobile after a couple long, pleasurable rounds. You already know that the man is good with his fingers, he's a guitarist for gods sake! Oh and that dick is good too, it's average and perfect that way, he's cut and has one prominent veiny on the underside, and the carpet matches the drapes but Sam makes sure that his bush is nicely trimmed; to ensure that you have no inconveniences when blowing him (which you do a lot).
Bonus: Harvey
You met him briefly on your first day in the village, but officially met and hit it off as friends when you went to him as a patient. A small friendship did bloom, you would hang out with Harvey from time to time, but there was ALWAYS some crazy tension of the sexual variety whenever the two of you were together.
It was kinda obvious that the two of you were pining over each other, but the first move wasn't made until you finally had enough of small compliments and lingering touches. After you had gone to the clinic for some ointment after scratching your arm up on the farm, you and Harvey had a usual moment of sexual tension and silence, his face just a few inches away from yours. You finally had enough and just grabbed the brunettes face and smashed your lips against his. Your fingers gently griping the doctor's brown curls as the two of you held a prolonged, passioante kiss. After said kiss, Harvey was RED in the face, and the end of your appointment was a little awkward. But during your next appointment, Harvey had mentioned that you two shouldn't let that happen again, to which you responded by kissing the man again. Harvey couldn't deny that he wanted to keep kissing you more than ever, but he had to pull you off, grunting out a "(Y/n). NO." in a disgruntled, HOT voice.
Harvey couldn't stop thinking about you though, so the two of you did start dating soon after the whole kiss fiasco. Dates together are really wholesome, the doctor being a true gentleman, so you two regularly go out on dinner dates where Harvey will wear his best dress and wine n dine you; usually giving you some sort of gift and showering you with compliments. Late night cuddles whilst watching something are a must for Harvey, he likes the feeling of his arms around you, it makes him feel as if he's keeping you safe. Oh and dating a doctor has many benefits to it, the second you start to get suspiciously tired or sneeze one too many times, Harvey is putting you on a mandatory bed rest and he's in the kitchen cooking up a soup within seconds.
In the bedroom, Harvey is just as wholesome and romantic as you'd expect him to be. This man loves missionary! He's such a sweetheart, he just wants to make sure you're doing alright and feeling incredible. The brunette loves to have sex with you, he's constantly complimenting you and praising you, making sure you know how good you're making him feel. Lotsss of kissing with this man, Harvey just needs to feel even closer to you even though he's inside of you; and he needs to convey his love for you in a more physical way on top of literally pounding you like mad. You have such a thing for Harvey's moustache, ugh especially while he's muching!! It just feels so funny, the hairs tickling you as the brunette's eating you out like a starved man. And he just looks so cute and hot when you can actually see him eating you out; his moustache pushed up slightly, his glasses getting pushed up his face and crooked from Harvey smushing his face into your cheeks, a thick blush covering his face. He's a little bit of a sub sometimes, likes it when you ride him and take control, Harvey likes to keep his hand on your hips as you gently ride him, letting out breathy moans as you show him just how good his dick is. Oh and he definitely has a thing for roleplaying patient and doctor cause it reminds him of how you two met n started out! "Dr are you sure this is necessary?" "Of course it is, now spread you're legs just a little more for me, let doctor get his probe in deeper"
Hope you guys enjoyed! Back home for chrimbo, might post a little who knows! I do have an essay to do for uni tho... Love ya guys! Laterz!
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