#im yippeeing so hard rn you have to understand

[autism-corner]

wth

[stopthatfool]

thoughts while watching top gun cuz im a hater and it's been a while since i yapped. i've been quiet.. i must.. i must yap..

-80s intro montage. yeah exactly. this is MOVIE. like it's so MOVIE (TM). like it's THE movie.

-dumb fucking slowmo shot while goose and mav are inverted over the MiG still pisses me off (top gun theme starts playing loudly like a bald eagle cry-- AMERICA! WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER!)

-cougar turning in his wings stabs me in the chest as usual (ok lots of sweating cool cool cool)

-hollywolf scene ("this gives me a hard on" i know they fuck real nasty. what the hell foreplay in public during DADT is craaazzzyyyy)

-icemav eyefucking ok cool. ice twirling his pen and i am twirling my hair.

-casual misogyny drop thank u ice (alternate plaque) goose laugh so beautiful.. like an angel..

-o club scene (ANIMAL NIGHT sign yippee) shot of woman's thigh. okay. iceman ice cold no mistakes blah blah blah who cares. the icemav scene... still just as gay... why did they look at each other's lips.. i need them dead in a ditch.

-"carnal knowledge--of lady this time.." why does that need to specified.. god this is so gay what the hell. hello charlie. lost that loving feeling. ok cool. ok great. SOME ONE TAKE THAT MIC AWAY FROM HIM. hellish situation.. i'm so sorry charlie. i'll get u outta there.

-hello mansplaining callsigns and piloting... thank u mav.. god i hate his stupid face. "i can hold my own" oooooo foreshadowing for his downfall.. teamwork mav come on now

-mav entering the ladies room is still just as weird as it was the first time. "big mistake with that older guy" just after he tried to get her to fuck on a public bathroom counter.. okay sure.. yeah.. i need him dead tbh.

-DUMB FUCKING HAT!! JESTER IS WEARING THE DUMB FUCKING HAT!! wolfman wearing the cowboy hat.. they're in the dumb hat club together

-ice putting on his watch.. slutty waist i'm gonna throw him against the wall and smash his head in

-"u can run kid but u can't hide" ok cornball (i feel like i'm in a videogame) (do some of that pilot shit!) (plane shots. mav does something stupid. fork found in the kitchen. what else is new.) (bro why does he do a flyby why is he actually dumb) (YEEHAW!) yeah whatever

-dangerous scene. ya gay who cares. ice is chewing gum so dramatically like ok chew chew chew chew gnawgnaw gnaw gnaw. what's that Freudian theory... ice never got past his teething stage.. big ol fucking chompers or whatever. (should i study top gun characters through freudian theories.. just to be super fucking annoying)

-navy twink spills coffee all over navy bear (I WANT SOME BUTTS!)

-"I flew with his old man" do u guys think viper and duke ever explored each other's bodies. genuine question.

-sad goosmav scene (i just hope we graduate) goose puts mav on blast trauma dump for him like ok thanks goose (goosmav nation i understand u)

-"too aggressive.. i guess when i see something i go right after it." mav i'm gonna fucking kill you. shut the hell up. ur embarrassing me in front of my friends. "but u were tempted to ask me out to dinner" mav i need u to get so real rn. (tom cruise big ol fucking chompers)

-VOLLEYBALL SCENE! ONE OF MY FAV SONGS! i dont know a lot about volleyball,, but it kinda looks like they're doing it wrong tbh.. (bruce webber photography my beloved)

-take my breath away counter starts now.. lord im ready guys.. mav is late i hate him men can't do anything right.. why does charlie have a pet dog and a parrot.. "i'm gonna take a quick shower." what the fuck.. men r so weird why would he say that. like bro what.

-mav trauma dumping i love how much they just tell u things in this movie. like here let me tell u. show u? nah. i'll TELL you. straight up. then we get some wonky dialogue and i love it. so much.

-everyone in this movie has beautiful teeth. i wish to hold their teeth in my palms. inspect their teeth.

-butch lesbian charlie.. long hair mav cuz he was filming the color of money.. (vince hello hai hey hi) (but why is mav all sweaty in an elevator.. like where is he going.. are the showers up? down? where?)

-CAROLE! CAROLE! CAROLE! SHE'S HERE! MY LOVE! CAROLE! IM CRYING IM CRYING IM CRYING. CAROLE!

-idk what mav was expecting when getting involved with his teacher.. like come on bro r u stupid.. "i can't hear you!!!" (revs engine) like bro she has to keep up appearances.. she can't pick favs cuz she wants to fuck u like what r u dumb

-tom cruise yelling.. hell yeah.. act little man.. act for me.. ACT! ok they're kissing..

-WORST SEX SCENE EVER ALERT! YAAYYYY! (it's actually horrifying.. what is tom cruise doing oh my god.) (so much tongue???????? why????) taaaake my brrreeeaaathhhh awaaayyyyy

-i feel the need for speed. god shut the fuck up.

-shower scene. GUYS ITS THE POSTER! MY FIRST EVER TOP GUN POST! ITS THE POSTER! "Navy. it's not just a job. it's an adventure." who are u telling that to?? (other than the viewers obvs) but like they're already IN the navy. why have a navy recruitment poster IN the navy showers...

-hello ice ur so sexy. "it's ur attitude. ur worse than the enemy." god CORNBALL! CORNY! TOMATO! TOMATO! heart to heart in little towels.. okay.....

-GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! mav and carole... mav and carole... god their friendship.. im crying... mav and bradley.. stop stop stop crying. crying so hard.

-and the movie ends... it ends right at them singing together... ain't that weird... hmmm the movie just... ends...??? could've sworn there was more.. but hmmm. it's over.. and everyone is alive and well! cool! awesome!

fuck it watching top gun to feel something again