#im very sorry a lot my answers are so vague

[fenmori]

ask game answers!

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated honestly i think a lot of my pieces are overrated/i dont expect people to be that into my stuff so i don’t really have a solid answer for this... possibly this piece because it still holds up but otherwise i get super critical of my old work. only move forwards and all that

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw big coats, hoodies, things that move and swirl. if u follow me on my side twitter you know i love drawing eli’s coat haha

3. What ideas come from when you were little a lot of dragons obviously, i was also really into making whole fantasy worlds when i was young (for some reason these centered around horses/unicorns?) i can’t say for sure anything specific because the illustrative work i do these days is a bit more abstract, but im still really enamored by complex worldbuilding and interactions.

4. Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw i draw most of the things i draw because they’re fun to draw! so again no concrete answer for this

7. A medium of art you don’t work in but appreciate by god i love all traditional media. ive dabbled in ceramics and would love to continue; block printing especially when layered, oil painting.... all things i want to try except i don’t have the time or space for the materials lol. oh also tattooing (ive done flash designs for a tattoo artist friend though which was so cool)

14. Any favorite motifs wings, halos, angelic themes (nothing to do at all with christianity i just like how it looks). obviously bea fulfills my need for all of these. also more abstract, but the theme of loneliness/being alone, sadness, and grief. i like seeing how differently people interpret my work also, one of the great things about the internet!

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways jp artists who do clean art with the wildest colors and intricate shading will always amaze me. goyagoat, mecchi, arboret, greycreature, a bunch of others that i cant think of rn!! i am devouring everything with my eyeballs

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy probably the most applicable thing is wings? lol i love drawing wings and feathers, they’re muscle memory enough that theyre relaxing to draw

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what yes! i have to have music or a podcast on or else i get bored out of my mind. gonna take this moment to shill joywave as usual. please listen to hdyfn

[quietwingsinthesky]

funniest thing about even is that if ten had taken them to a pride parade, because of their whole. Everything. they would have no idea what is being celebrated or why. but they would be so happy to be included

[gibbearish]

Yo this is a dumb way to do this but my brain is fuckin toast at the moment, so let not the medium distract.

I intend to respond to you properly, but barring the ability to string enough brain cells together to do that I just want to say: I'm sorry that my response came off as rude and condescending. It's not what I intended for it, nor how I wished it to be received.

I did take it to come from the very present context of specifically not wanting to support tumblr financially because 'the site is already there', and not as the context of capitalism is the scourge of humanity. I wish I were being reductive about that reason above, but I have very literally seen that exact take a few times. That is not what you explicitly said and it's my poor form to have presumed.

So, I will respond in full, because you took the time and I'd like to return the courtesy but I wanted to make my apologies more promptly than I'm able to engage on the topic fully

aaa thank you for sending this, i really appreciate it. to be fair i definitely made some assumptions there too, i thought ur angle was more like the "nothing can ever be free, everything must cost money forever, the free market is the lifeblood of the economy and capitalism is the nature of man" type stuff cause that's been the main response ive seen to general unhappiness with the state of the internet rn. and i will say honestly if i saw someone genuinely saying since the website has already been made there can't be any costs involved in keeping it up i would probably react the same LOL

[nulltune]

hakuno has received ... an egg!! that's right, this fragile-seeming, half-phantasmal pod that was nevertheless large enough to take two arms to lift and hold ... was absolute proof that anybody here was not human. a black fog rolls about in the murky, semi-opaque shell, like thick wildfire smoke encased in lighter cigarette fumes. was that nothingness drifting about the center an embyro? regardless, it was up to hakuno to decide what to do with it now. nobody would have blamed her if she handed it off to the authorities in the manner of a dutiful citizen, (after which, it certainly might not see the light of day ever again,) or fed it to a snake just to see what might happen. the enormous pool of blood is quite telling of an unfortunate mishap as well, yet the egg says nothing, its inhabitant fast asleep and subdued. who knew when it might wake up and be born again? who knew what, or even who, it would be born as, into?

unprompted,  always accepting !   @tenkoseiensei  ♡

there had been no issue in transporting the item to her quarters,  though to the unassuming they'd think it to be a workload ill - suited for a lady of her stature,  the size of it merely obscuring her sight,  but such a thing didn't matter when one had the route to their destination memorized perfectly.  there was no delay to her movement speed,  nothing particularly of note.  if anything,  it was the blood that was ...  unpleasant.  ultimately,  it was inconsequential,  but it lingered in the back of her mind faintly.  the scent of iron,  the knowledge that it must've stained her clothes,  it was so much.  that amount must've resulted from—

the plastic bag tied to a close,  the red color on the fabric still prominent against the translucent material, and hakuno tosses it into the bin.  she washes her hands afterwards,  a sigh coming from her as the water runs clear.  her mind is similarly calm,  no longer distracted by what shouldn't have taken that much of her time,  she returns to the task at hand.

temperature,  humidity,  gaseous environment  —  verified.  it is unclear what stage of incubation the egg is at this moment,  but these conditions should be ideal ...

❛   if there is anything not to your liking,  please let me know.   ❜      she blinks at her own voice,  uncharacteristic for her to speak when alone,  thoughts kept all to herself without an issue—  but,  oh.  vacant eyes turning to the egg  ( carefully kept in an impromtu and specially made area ) ,  cool caramel eyes blink once more.  to already be recognised as a presence by her should signify a sign of life;  at the embryotic stage,  at the very least. 

this was something she should've confirmed at the scene where she'd first stumbled upon it,  but even she could've picked up on the vague sense of a lingering threat.  ‘ instincts ’  had seemed to kick in at that moment,  and although bringing along this large egg was not the ideal choice to make in such a situation,  the thought of leaving it behind was out of the question.

and now that the two of them are within safety,  it seemed that she was able to speak with more ease;  that was the logical conclusion to be made,  anyway.       ❛   do you know what it was that caused that—   ❜       recalling that sight,  hakuno's mouth briefly presses into a thin line.       ❛   —blood spill ?   ❜       it may be out of her field of concern,  but she'll look into it.  though at this moment,  first priority comes to  ...  her guest.

it is ...   what is it,  exactly ?   it looks somewhat ominous,  if she were like a regular person  /  human,  perhaps that would be the conclusion made.  with how she is though,  she merely accepts that as an aspect of this creature  —  the murkiness of its shell covering what lay beneath,  she wondered if it was hiding.  idle thoughts don't last long,  thoughts turning to trying to find out just what this embryo was  —  as it was right now,  she'll have to make do with what little she knew and ensure that the conditions were right for its sake.

it's unlikely.  but,  the possibility of—  being able to hear the sounds and noise of the world around you,  being able to hear everyone,  yet to be unable to utter a single word.  that is ...  so unbearably lonely.  taking a seat next to it,  she faces forward in the same polite way of sitting,  hands folded neatly by her lap.  though her side gaze lingered upon the ..  individual.        ❛   i apologise,  if you are speaking right now,  i'm afraid i cannot hear you.   ❜       what is she even doing ...  well,  to bombard the egg with questions in the first place was odd.  ( not to mention,  rude .. )       ❛   if you would like,  please feel free to speak as much as you'd like when i am able to listen.   ❜

shifting slightly in her position.       ❛   and,  if you have the intellectual capability for it in the future,  please do tell me what it's like—  to be born.   ❜       how curious,  even without any ties connecting the two,  hakuno found that the outcome of the egg perishing was incredibly  ...  unsatisfactory.  could this be the miracle of a life ?       ❛   i wouldn't know.   ❜       i was made,  after all.  whether her creation brought  ‘ joy ’  or  ‘ sadness ’  or maybe nothing at all,  she wouldn't know.  it doesn't matter.  not anymore.

eyes crinkling just a bit,  hakuno resists the urge to pat the egg  —  contact is unnecessary,  lest she do so to turn it for the sake of the incubation process.  instead,  her mind wanders within her still frame.  who are you ?   what are you ?   even without the answers,  she tilts her head to face it fully,  a vague flicker of warmth in the still pools of her eyes.

❛   you have a long life ahead,  i hope you may soon hatch to live it.   ❜

[n0thingbutlov3]

need you now | 2 |

in which readers true feelings are revealed.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader warnings/tags: angst again (whoops) miscommunication (it’s short dw) fluff, reader is hungover lol, spencer is handsomely disheveled (moans) mentions of blueberry muffins being readers favourite type of muffin (sorry for not being vague but also if you don’t like blueberry muffins??? why) some tears, some swearing, some kissing, suggestiveness at the end of you squint (WHOOPS *evil smirk*) no use of y/n!! wc: 2.1k a/n: call me slim shady because i am back!!! i procrastinated writing this because i was scared everyone was secretly judging my writing and actually hated it and a second part would be a stupid idea but THEN i realised that was a little bit silly so im here B) part one got over 1000 notes (INSANE) all the support has been so so lovely—every note, reblog, and comment means the world to me, thank you!! i hope this part is okayy, feedback is always appreciated :) i hope you enjoy it you choose to read!!! <3 p.s kissing scenes are so difficult to write, i think i done absolutely awful!!!so let’s ignore that…. if you haven’t already and you’d like to, you can read part one here!

Your eyelids twitched as the early morning sun filtered through your bedroom. What was usually a calming wake-up call now felt like being blinded.

You burrowed your face into your pillow, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to dull the throbbing in your head. This is why you didn’t drink often.

Asides from the obvious headache and nausea, you always seemed to wake up with a sense of dread; ‘hangxiety’—a friend had called it once. It was creeping up on you now, and even though you weren’t sure exactly what you had done, you knew it was bad. You flipped onto your back, fixing your gaze to the ceiling as if it could tell you what irreparable mistakes you had made last night.

It couldn’t, of course. The only thing you had realised is that you should probably coat it in a new layer of paint soon.

“How’re you feeling?”

You shot up, eyes widening at the sight of a man in your doorway. A man whose sleepy voice and disheveled hair threatened to make you melt, but a man who should not be in your doorway, nonetheless; Spencer.

Your brain was quick to supply you with information then, your memory coming back in hazy remnants. You were upset so you…called Spencer for the first time in months. Yikes. He didn’t answer so you turned to a bottle of high end whiskey instead—yikes, again—and passed out on your couch, only to wake up to your ex-boyfriend in your apartment. Cue more sobbing, a pathetic attempt at asking—no, more like begging—him to get back together with you, and that was it. Well, mostly. There was also the promise of discussing your breakdown in the morning. The morning, which was now.

What the fuck.

“Like I’ve been napalmed.” You weren’t sure you were just referring to your raging hangover.

That prompted a raspy kind of chuckle from him and Jesus Christ—you really shouldn’t have called, because it was going to be infinitely harder to watch him leave when he inevitably told you you were sad loser who needed to get a grip and move on—except, he’d be a lot nicer than that, wouldn’t he? Because even if things were over between you, he was still the sweetest person you had ever met and he’d never say anything to intentionally hurt you. Maybe things would be easier if he did. If he wasn’t so sickeningly perfect—if he just insulted you in the way you were certain you deserved, then maybe you’d get over him quicker.

“So, I-ah-uber’d breakfast—“

Your inner turmoil came to a screeching halt at those words.

“You uber’d? You?”

He scoffed, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

“The team’s been very into it lately and I always finish my paperwork first so it only makes sense that I—stop laughing! I can uber!”

“Sorry! I just can’t imagine the great Doctor Reid stooping to the levels of a fast food delivery app. Do you ever order to the wrong place?”

“No.” he said, unconvincingly. “Well, only once—“

You were laughing again.

He whined, turning on his heel.

“Just take your aspirin and hurry up!” He grumbled petulantly as he left the room, but you could hear the smile in his voice.

After a quick freshen up and taking the pills placed on your bedside table—as per his request—you padded through to the living room, joining Spencer on the couch.

You gasped delightedly as he pulled out muffins from a brown paper bag. To be more specific, blueberry muffins; your favourite.

“Did you know that blueberries are good for fighting hangovers? They’re rich in vitamin C, which helps break down and metabolise blood alcohol. Muffins too, they—what? Do I have something on my face—“

“No! No, sorry,” You had been caught staring—ogling, more like. “I just missed…that.”

“What? My incessant rambling?” He was joking, but you could hear the insecure twinge in his voice—the one that told him he was too much. Over the course of your relationship, you had showed him that he didn’t have to think like that around you—that he was never too much; he was perfect in your eyes. You hated that he doubted that now.

“Yes, actually.” You tried to keep your tone light, unserious. But there was nothing unserious about just how badly you had missed the man sitting beside you. How you could hear his voice in your mind when you drove late at night, giving you statistics on accidents. Or how on other late nights, you swore you could feel his hands ghosting over your skin—only to find out it was your imagination.

If he could see how truthful you were being, he didn’t acknowledge it, turning his attention back to the coffee table.

“I’ll, um, save you the facts on how beneficial coffee is for hangovers, anyway.” He smiled awkwardly, shuffling a paper coffee cup to where your muffin sat.

“Thank you,” you mumbled, “for the coffee, not the withholding of information—i’m a real fiend for coffee facts…especially when they’re related to curing hangovers!” You said a little too cheerily, trying to alleviate the awkward tension. Although, that only seemed to make it worse.

Spencer just huffed out a little laugh in response, taking the wrapper off of his muffin.

The rest of breakfast went by in silence. Not the comfortable silence you always seemed to have with Spencer—when you were together, you reminded yourself—but a strained one. The kind of silence that occurs when there’s something left unsaid, and you’re just waiting for someone to spit it out.

Spencer broke first.

“So we should probably talk…about last night.”

You finished the remainder of your coffee, setting the empty cup down before turning your whole body to Spencer, tucking your legs up underneath you.

“Right, yeah…”

A beat passed, Spencer’s eyes darting around your face—assessing you.

For someone who had imagined this conversation in your mind countless times, you certainly weren’t saying much.

“I—uh…was very drunk.”

Something in him shifted, like he was putting up imaginary walls.

“So you didn’t mean…any of it?” His brow furrowed, his nose twitching slightly.

“Well no, but I—“ You what? Meant every word you said and more? You couldn’t just say that. You had just got a small part of Spencer back and you didn’t want to ruin it by coming on too strong.

He waited for you to add something, anything, to show him that maybe, maybe there was a tiny part of you that still wanted him as badly as he wanted you. But you didn’t. You just sat there, playing with the fabric of your—his—t-shirt.

He couldn’t do it.

He was so tired of loving people only for them to leave like he had meant nothing to them. Was that all he was to you? Someone you could call when your inhibitions were lowered, looking for comfort? He would do anything to be back in your life again, but he couldn’t be a person of convenience; someone you only wanted when you were lonely.

He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing down the tightness in his throat.

“You were drunk and you got carried away, I get it. I think I better go though—“

“What? No, I—“ You bobbed your mouth like a fish, trying to find the words necessary to keep him here. There were too many of them and yet none at all. None except for three. Three words that you wished you had the courage to say months ago, or weeks ago, or last night. But you never claimed to be a courageous person, and you weren’t about to spill your heart out again only for it to end up in rejection.

Spencer stood, making his way to your bedroom to grab his shoes and coat. He didn’t care about his other clothes, he could buy more—he just needed out before he broke.

You sat dumbfounded on the couch, willing yourself to do something, say something. It was like you were frozen. And you stayed frozen. As Spencer shuffled around your bedroom, as he returned to the living room—completely avoiding your gaze—even as he searched for his keys. You hadn’t realised he had driven over here. He didn’t usually drive unless he had to get somewhere urgently. Were you someone worth seeing urgently to him?

He picked up his keys, heading for your door and only then did you realise how dire the situation was. If he left now you weren’t sure he would ever come back.

“No—wait, Spencer!” You stammered, lunging off the couch to try and stop him. He unlocked the door, moving to leave when you grabbed onto his jacket sleeve.

“Please don’t—I love you!”

“What?”

He turned to face you and you noticed just how wrecked he looked—not at all dissimilar from how you had for the last few months. Had he looked like that the whole time?

You must’ve been staring because when you came back to your senses he was calling your name exasperatedly.

“Do you mean it?”

You were fed up living like this; harbouring so much love for someone and not being able to express it. Even if he didn’t love you back, even if he was over you, you couldn’t go another moment without at least telling him how you felt.

“Yes,” you heaved, “I love you—I never stopped loving you, I was just…” You knitted your brows together, unsure how to phrase what you were feeling.

“I’ve never loved someone the way I love you and that’s…terrifying. I thought the way I felt was wrong, like—when you were on cases, I missed you so much, more than I thought humanely possible and—well, I never wanted to be the kind of girl to base her happiness on another person because that’s how you get hurt. So, I thought the only way to combat that was by…distancing myself. I thought if you weren’t in my life anymore then I’d be able to get a grip and become more independent—“ you huffed, trying to stop the wobble of your voice. “but it didn’t work, because then I was just missing you twice as much, except I couldn’t see you at all—“

“You could’ve answered my messages, we could’ve—“

“So you could return your key? Then things would actually be over. Why do you think I ignored your messages?”

“Why do you think I kept messaging? Angel, I was never going to return that key—at least not willingly—I just wanted to see you, to see if you were doing just as horribly without me as I was without you. You know, I couldn’t even focus on cases—Hotch even suggested I take some time off.”

You frowned, your voice impossibly small. “I’m sorry.”

He took a step toward you, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

“Don’t apologise, you were dealing with your emotions in the best way you knew how. I just wish…” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I wish I hadn’t let you go so easily.”

His eyes were shining and—God, you wished you could take it all back. All the pain you had caused him, caused yourself, just because you were too scared to talk about your feelings.

“I wish I hadn’t left.” You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “Y’know, I read a book on astrophysics because it reminded me of you. I didn’t understand any of it but I couldn’t put it down. I still—“ you let out a watery chuckle. “still have it in my bedroom somewhere.”

Spencer smiled, swiping under your eye at a tear that must’ve escaped.

“Yeah? Maybe I can read it to you—help you understand it.”

“I’d like that.”

You didn't know much about celestial bodies or the ultimate fate of the universe, but you could've sworn you'd seen the stars pictured in that book in Spencer’s eyes when he looked at you.

“Say it again.” He mumbled, tilting his head down so that your faces were just inches apart.

“I love you.”

And then his lips were on yours, impossibly soft and everything you had been missing since you had broken up. He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed and all you could do was sigh into him because you knew the feeling.

He leaned back all too soon, resting his forehead against yours.

“Well, I should probably go—“ He smirked, but you cut him off before he could continue his teasing.

“You’re not funny.”

He narrowed his eyes, sucking his teeth.

“I don’t know, I—“

You pressed a firm hand on his chest, bunching the cotton of his t-shirt into a fist.

“Stop. Stay—we can have a pyjama day and maybe for dinner, you can show me just how tech savvy you’ve become and uber us some food—“

He rolled his eyes, kicking the door shut before pressing his lips to yours with more force this time.

“Stop talking.”

[littyhoney]

Right Person,Wrong Time. (part 2)

BIG SPOILER WARNING TO ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE!!

Earth 42 Miles Morales x Reader

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4)

Chapter summary: It has been a year and Miles can’t seem to move on from Gwen…how much longer can you take for always be in the dark? But little did you know someone is waiting in the dark for you..

Warning: Spoilers for the movie Across the Spider-verse, long chapter,heavy Angst

p/s: if some of you are confuse if this is Miles 1610 fic or Miles 42 its Miles 42 but the chapters are for build ups for extra pain hehe enjoy! also i try my best to make it gender neutral <3

You walk through the sidewalk making your way to Miles apartment with bluetooth headphones on both of your hand in your pockets of your hoodie to keep you warm from the chilling air, In your ears is blasting a music from the Weeknd-Call out my name.

It has been a year…for that whole year you have been there for Miles again and again and again… and every single time you fail to win Miles over. You been very vague of your feeling towards Miles but the boy seems to be too focus on someone else..Gwen Stacy. You have try to let him know that you’re there! Not her,whenever he is down you’re there to comfort him,not Gwen. Whenever he is in trouble you would cover for him, you become so selfless over him not wanting to see him get hurt..but who will care for you? Protect you? You just don’t know…

You walk over the steps leading up to the Morales front door and knock on it as you pull your headphones off. You hear the door unlock and open for you to see Mrs Morales “Hey mama Rio,is Miles here? He didn’t answer his phone”

“Really? Oh well he is in his room, come in dear its cold outside”The woman smiles as she close the door behind you  as you walk in, clearly you know where miles get such a warm smile from “Thanks Mama Rio”you smile at the woman taking your hoodie off.

“Oh dear I almost forgot that we be making a party up at the rooftop,its uh a celebration for Jeff becoming the next captain”You look at her with a big smile before let out a chuckle, you knew that Jeff is a good cop who always keeping the city safe “Congrats! Wow! Uh il make sure to come by the party, thanks for the invite Mama Rio”you walk towards Miles door “Anytime dear”the woman speaks before focus back to her Tv show.

You knock on the door to Miles room before a muffle come in speaks from inside the room,you open the door and lean on the door frame with a small smirk “Sup coco head”looking at Miles who is sitting at his desk with his headphones on.

Miles yelp when he turn around to see you by the door before he rip his headphones off his head turning towards you “Geez (N/n) I though you were my mom” Miles sigh before he slump back on his seat “Wait why are you here?”he tilt his head looking at you.

You sigh as you drop your head before push yourself up from the door frame walking towards Miles and pull out your phone showing him the miss calls and unread messages "You promise to hang out today at the park,remember? you told me over the phone yesterday for basketball?”you feel slightly annoyed now knowing he keeps forgetting his promises these past months but you still have sympathy over him,since he been over his head lately.

Miles sit up straigh before looking up at you,guilt drawn all over his face “I-Im sorry man I forgot it’s just ‘sigh’ a lot of things have been going on in my head lately”

“oh,what happened? don’t tell me you got in trouble again Miles”you said with a slight frown drawn on your face looking down at him. Miles head snap back to you shaking his head “noo nono”he laugh nervously as he try to convinve you,clearly he is in trouble.

“Miles..”you look at him squinting your eyes at him frow drawn on your eyebrows. Miles sigh defeated before he held his head in his hand on the table “I uhh..okay..the principal wants to see me and my parents tomorrow..”

You look at him in shock before you held your hand on your waist “But I though you aced the exam Miles,are the notes from me and Ganke not enough to cover it??” you ask him,still in disbelief. Since both of you are busy going in and out of the class for emergency moments,both of you mostly rely on notes to pass the exam,you mostly write your own notes but Miles always share Ganke’s notes with you.

Miles shake his head before leaning back on the chair “I don’t know (Y/n) clearly something is up and right now im in..shambles man. Nothing makes sense to me anymore,after wearing that mask everything is just on my shoulder”the boy is clearly burned out by all of his responsibilities..being a son,a student and a hero. He seems to think that everything and everyone relys on him while he can’t rely on anyone…but how wrong is he.

You shake your head slightly,moving near him as you lean on the chair looking down at him “Miles…youre not alone in this,I know that being a hero is such a big responsibility but…im here for you man”your eyes soften “You can rely on me anytime Miles…heck if you want I can do the patrol stuff for a week if you ask me to man” you let out a chuckle,this boy really have a soft spot on you.

Miles shake his head his face still frowning before he says “But you’re not her (Y/N), you’re...not Gwen”he look up at you.

You look at him…blink a few times letting his words sink in to you,you move yourself away from him,walking backwards before a soft chuckle escape your lips “are you for real Miles..? Gwen?”your brows frown mouth agape not believing what you just have heard..

Miles begin to talk again but you quickly cut him off “No man I heh…well she’s not here is she? Im here for you Miles,from the beginning to hear your problems a-and to cover your freaking ass everytime man..”your voice cracked as you try to talk out through the choking “im the one who is taking hits for you,the one who always have to sit there listening you calling for someone who is not here”you hiss out the word at him..tears building up making everything you see is blurry but you blink away the tears as much as you can..

“Youre not the only one who wears the mask Miles,but I put you above myself everytime so that I know you’re okay…but you’re here telling me that you want someone else to stand here….am I not enough for you Miles?”you point to yourself,your heart cracks at every sob that you try to surpress.

“(N/n) I..”Miles stand up trying to reach for your arm but you held out your hand stopping him. You rub your nose with your other hand letting out a sniff before your cracked voice speaks “No..no Miles..im just gonna go…tell your dad I said congrats”you said as you walk out of his room taking your hoodie that you put on the hanger walking out of the main door and close it.… you lean your back on the door as you finally let the tears running down your cheek…

To be continued.

(Woah what a chapter huh,part 3 soon..)

Tags:

@usernamepassowrd-blog @marimo331 @rinouko @chims-kookies

@rinisfruity14 @gasoline-eater @bath1lda @kiranishi @blep24

@dani111

[milkweedman]

hello! need help learning how to do a thing and it's your area of expertise so im squirrelling into your ask box (dad joke, sorry.) ANYWAY

i have a lot of jeans that i really really like. however, my most worn jeans tend to, uh. rip in the seat after some time. either near the ass, or at the crotch. this is super irritating, and i don't like tossing the jeans just because of that but i have no idea how to fix them or what to do about this.

i vaguely remember you posting on here about jeans wear and tear as well. sorry if im asking you something that you have already answered, but just wanted to know - what's a good way of mending jeans ripped in the crotch area?

better yet, how do i reinforce my jeans that are showing the warning signs of ripping at the crotch?

My jeans literally just ripped a couple days ago and ive been wearing sweatpants to work out if laziness, so you have good timing 🐿

There might be many ways to do this (and there's definitely NEATER ways to do this) but here's how I fix mine:

They just sort of wore right through. Luckily I was able to catch it before they started ripping too. The sooner you catch a hole the better--and noticing before it rips is best.

You will need a sewing needle (for jeans I like the shortest sharpest needle with a small eye but use whatever needle is comfortable), scissors, a strip of scrap fabric, and some thread. Ideally thread in the same color as your jeans, but I'm using one that will stand out so you can see the repair. Also, nobody will see this later so it doesn't really matter. Pins will also help keep things neat but aren't strictly necessary.

The strip of fabric should be big enough to cover the entire area that wears out, doubled over, on this leg. You can of course just patch the hole, but then you'll grow a new hole a centimeter to the left, so its less work to just do this now.

For preventative measures (sewing a patch on before there is a hole) the process is exactly the same. Just patch the area you know will wear out.

Step 1: turn the pants inside out. fold your patch and pin it in place. We want a doubled patch because a single layer might wear through as well. If you don't have pins, you can use a spare needle or just set it over the repair site.

Like so. If you want these to look nice, keep everything neat and straight. I just want these mended and don't care how it looks one iota, so mine will be messy.

Step 2: thread your needle with doubled thread. A single thread can and probably will wear through here.

Step 3: put your non dominant hand down the leg you're fixing. Your hand should be under the patch supporting while you sew. If you have an embroidery hoop or something leg-sized to put there to hold things taut, that's even better.

Step 4: start sewing the patch down. First we just want to secure it before we do any reinforcing. You could use any stitch here ( whipstitch would probably be good, backstitch is good as well) but I just use a simple running stitch. Go around the entire patch, removing pins if present as you go. Keep your stitches loose here, or at least not tight.

Step 5: reinforcing ! This part can be done on either side, and the front is going to look way neater than the back. If this is in matching thread I'd go ahead and work on the inside because the messy outside won't be seen. If it's contrasting thread you may want to work on the outside, so that at least you have a good pattern. I don't care either way, so I'll work on the inside as it's a little easier. Like I said, this repair really won't be seen when wearing the pants, so the aesthetics aren't very important imo.

To reinforce, I will stitch plus signs/x's over the entire patch. You can do them one at a time or sew all the horizontal lines, then sew vertically to intersect. It's up to you, I like doing them one at a time though.

Yes, they're very bad. Yes this will still extend the life of these pants several months at least. Yes it would be even more effective if I took the time to be neater.

On top on the right image is the patch I did on the other side when they started shredding 5 or 6 months ago. The fabric on the front is only just now starting to fail again, so they will need another round of mending. I will probably extend the patch down the leg a little but mostly just sew more. When you add a layer of thread over fabric, now you have to wear through all of the thread before you start wearing down the fabric again. That's largely how these patches work.

A much much neater and more aesthetic form of this basic idea is sashiko sewing. It's a great way to mend things like jeans (I just don't care about my jeans being anything other than usable so I save my effort and creativity for where I will enjoy it).

Here's the front. I highly doubt anyone will ever see the yellow but I sharpied it black (can also do blue on most shades of blue jeans) and now it stands out less.

One last thing--if, when you look at the front again, you see there are some damaged areas standing proud, sew over those until they have compacted back down and are smooth again. This is important--whatever stands the highest will wear first. So your repairs should be sitting on top, standing higher than the damaged fabric. Otherwise this is all for naught.

Some tips:

A canvas fabric is better. Go for something thick and with some weight to it if you can--immobilizing the repair site will also help some with how long the repair will last.

Similarly colored thread will render this almost invisible. Almost invisible means hard to work on... so make sure your patch is a different color so you're not mending like black thread on black fabric. Save your eyes.

Smaller stitches are better if you have the time/coordination. Large stitches can snag in the wash and also aren't as effective here.

That said, chicken scratch looking garbage will absolutely still make your pants wearable again, as you can see.

If the physical act of moving the needle is going terribly, it's because it's the wrong needle for the job. For jeans, you want a short needle as thin as possible with a small eye. I switched halfway thru this mend because I found a better needle and it was way easier after that.

That's all I got, good luck with your pants ! I usually can double or triple my jeans life this way

[marunalu]

Hey guys

I need to make a quick update of my whereabouts and why I havent answered any asks or messages lately. But first, I want to apologiese to everyone who worried about me. It wasnt my intention to make you worry, the last few weeks (months actually) were just quite stressfull for me and Im barely online anymore. I want you to know that you guys dont need to worry and Im really sorry if you did. Life is just quite difficult for me in the moment. I bother with some health issus right now (its NOT life threatening though!) both physical and mental and I have to take a few meds every day. These meds make me very tired and unmotivated to do anything Im not forced to do. I also had a lot of doctor appointments in the last few weeks and need to visit my doctor regulary. Again, its nothing life threatening but it tires me out and I dont feel very well in the moment. Most of the time I just want to be left alone so I can rest. Plus my private life is also quite messy right now and that doesnt help to increase my health. Since my health issues also have mental consequences I decided to stay away from any social media as much as possible, because the internet can be a toxic and stressful enviroment and I have realized that I feel worse if I lure to much on social media sites. I even try to avoid world news because they make me feel depressed. Even writing this short post is difficult for me, because I dont want to think or talk about my problems.

So again, Im very VERY sorry that I worried you guys, but it also warms my heart to see how many of you asked about my whereabouts and if Im okay! Thats so very sweet of you all! ❤️ And just a quick comment about mha. Im not lying to you, but right now Im not really invested in it anymore. The manga turned into a big dissapointment for me and I pretty much lost all my interest in it. I will still check out the last chapter and Im still positive about dfo to be revealed in the last chapter. But I already mentioned in the past that I dont think anymore that dfo will have an satisfying conclusion. It would be hilarious if it turns out the afo clone theory is indeed true though, because I was JOKING when I came up with it! I think its possible that hori will not confirm the theory right out, but just give very strong clues and hints like giving us a glimpse of the holes in hisashis hands. I heard, in a recent interview hori mentioned that he likes to leave things vague so people can come up with their own interpretations and conclusions, which I cant say is a smart move. Still, Im positive about dfo. I will eventually drop a post about the last chapter and talk about dfo if it turns out canon!

You are still welcome to send me asks but it will take me time to answer them. Im also not sure what I will do with this blog when mha is done, since its a mha/dfo centered blog. Eventually I just start a new one at one point.

A lot of hugs to you guys and see ya 🥰

[jules-ln]

I have a question, from where does the interpretation of achilles and patroclus as lovers come from. I know it did not start from TSOA, it has existed from ages and i have a very vague memory of reading that it was Plato who was one of the first ones who had interpreted the two men as lovers. But are there any other big names who also had the same interpretation. Im sorry if i am being annoying

You aren't annoying, and it actually is a very good question!

Sadly like any good question it doesn't have a simple answer

I've already said that the Iliad is a very old story, so old that even the ancient Greeks would've considered it ancient lol

The bad thing is that around that time writing things down wasn't very popular, so we just don't actually know what happened back then

Like, do you know those cool Mycenaeans murals? Most of them are actually reconstructions and we don't exactly know what they're depicting. There are educated guesses, but only that, guesses

So, in the same vein, where it started? Who knows. Maybe it was a very popular interpretation back then, or maybe it started to get popular in more modern times like Plato's (lol modern)

There's an essay I read some years ago (that for some reason I can't remember the name of 🙃) that proposed that Patroclus and Achilles might've been based on very old and now unknown figures

Why? Because the concepts of Akhos (Grief-Achilles) and Kleos (Glory-Patroclus) are actually connected and you need one if you want the other

So in that essay I don't remember the name of, it proposed that Achilles and Patroclus might be based on an much older pair that also represented the concepts of Glory and Grief (this is just a guess, not a fact)

Why Am I telling you this? Because there is the possibility that the interpretation of Achilles and Patroclus as lovers is old as fuck lmao

The thing is, there's a lot of queer erasure in history. It's not so much that they as lovers was explicitly said in the iliad (it wasn't) but more that people have been acting as if the possibility of them as lovers was completely ridiculous and absurd since the dawn of homophobia

Now there are some people that say "well, actually, they wouldn't call themselves queer because back then queer didn't exist as a concept-" shut. Just shut up, because then why are people still calling Hector and Andromache Husband and wife, even when the modern concept of Husband and wife didn't exist back then and is equally anachronistic to call them that

If you want names of people who have interpreted them as lovers, I would say, dunno, Aeschylus my man, Aeschines in against Timarchus, and Shakespeare are the ones I remember. Mind you, there had been people who also Interpreted them as friends since Plato's time too

But I wouldn't say we know when exactly this interpretation started lol

[kenphobia]

HEART STUTTER!

"you're the absolute most."

summary. wally headcanons with a gender-neutral who isn't good at talking, uses vague wording and confuses smiliar sounding words with each other. ( headcanons / rewritten / see end notes)

contents. fluff i think. possibly ooc too. barnaby teasing the heck out of wally. take the L, wallace, take it.

✦ Wally finds it oddly charming, for some inexplicable reason. He tries his best to understand you and somehow he knows what you're trying to say better than you could. He does let you explain for yourself, but once you turn to him with those pitiful eyes of yours, he couldn't help but finish your words for you.

✦ In some way, Wally understands how you feel. He is a charming little puppet but even so, he slurs his speech a lot which at times make him sound drunk and inaudible.

✦ Whenever you misuse and confuse words, Wally will use context clues to figure out what you're saying. To him, it's like a little puzzle game and he enjoys it very much. He does wonder how you can say typos out loud, concerning but he eats with his eyes so he can't complain.

✦ He'll always reassure you that your speech is fine and that you can take your time figuring what to say. You look better smiling than with your brows creased like that, so cheer up!

✦ Out of all of the neighbors, he understands you the most. You could refer to food as "Biting things" and he'll fetch some for you instantly, he makes a few mistakes at times and he apologizes deeply. Wally doesn't like making assumptions, especially if those assumptions makes you upset at yourself.

✦ Wally could pick up your vague wording the more he spends time with you. He wouldn't notice it until Barnaby mention it.

"And so, (Name) and I went to fetch the things from Poppy's place before coming to meet you all here." Wally vaguely gestured to the food laid on the picnic blanket underneath them, his eyes drifting you chatting and helping Julie fly her kite.

The larger puppet nodded his head, smiling almost teasingly. Wally quirked a brow at Barnaby's sudden weird attitude.

"Is there a problem, Barnaby?" Wally questioned.

"Oh no, it's nothing." Barnaby shrugged, taking his tobacco pipe from his mouth and into his large paw. He glanced over to you and Julie before turning back to Wally. "So, you and (Name), huh?"

"... Yes, we are an item, Barnaby. Is there something wrong?"

"Nope! It's just that you're so in love with them that you're already copying them." Barnaby chuckled. He took a breath in and blew out from his pipe.

"I'm—" Wally paused, his brows furrowed. "I don't think I follow what you mean, Barnaby. I do love them, in fact I am madly captivated by them, but I don't think I'd be so inclined to do the same things as they do."

"Oh yeah?" Wally raised a jesting brow. "Then, tell me what you were doing before the picnic." He gestured to the picnic set before the two of them.

"Well, that's easy!" Wally clapped his hands joyfully. "I woke up, finished some evenings, no, paintings! Yes, those things. Then, um, I met up with you all to talk about things and after cat— that! I went with (Name) to get the stuff from Poppy's and— Oh good lord."

Barnaby letted out a roaring of laughter and patted Wally's back. "You see what I mean now?"

Wally nodded silently, dumbfounded by how oblivious he was towards his speech. He was usually self-aware, watchful and cautious about the way he acts yet he managed you fumble over his words. Right in front of his best friend too.

"I guess they got your tongue tied?"

"Barnaby, kindly shut up for once."

author's note. i amr ushing, I am RUSHING!!!! this was requested by @ssvv-cc but i accidentally answered their ask with the wrong contents and i deleted it so um terribly sorry :')) i might upload the last one but for now, let me cry in shame

again, my requests are always open. do note that im not a welcome home writer but i do writer many other things <33 /nm

[foreststranger]

DAN HENG ∙ IMBIBITOR LUNAE - Colliding to Catharsis and Reigning The Clouds

ꜱᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ 『honkai: star rail』dan heng (imbibitor lunae form) x gn!reader

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ a sequel to my other post (read it here), basically meeting ur reincarnated lover

𑁍 ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 0.7k

ɴᴏᴛᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

↳ GUYS IM BACKK!!! SORRY FOR BEIGN GONE FOR 7 MONTHS BUT ILL POST MORE NOW I PROMISE. SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT. PLEASE SEND IN SOME MORE REQUESTS.

“Well, thanks for helping me out, Trailblazer! I’ll be sure to visit you and the others on the Astral Express. But, uh… before you go, do you mind if I asked you something?” You take a step closer to them. Their soft grey hair rustles in the wind, swaying with a quiet solemness. The same way Dan Feng’s did the last time you saw him; when he told you of his departure and some grave sin he had committed.

“Would it be alright if you could… tell me more about this ‘Dan Heng’ you mentioned?” When they had first said his name, you felt an odd sense of familiarity. A cord deep within your being was plucked, playing a wistful song that has remained in your mind ever since it left you. This was who your heart has yearned for all these years. Dan Heng. Is that his new name?

Do you really even want to see him again? After you discovered what he had done? A traitor of the Xianzhou, a disgrace to the Vidyadhara. A sinner. But most of all, a man who had betrayed you and your future together.

“There’s not much to say about him. He doesn’t talk a lot but he means well.” It was a vague answer and didn’t give you much insight. Though, if you stretched it, it would sound similar to how Dan Feng was.

“What does he look like?” It was a shot in the dark. Reincarnations don’t always look like their past selves, but you had to at least ask. After all, that name…

“That’s a weird question. Why?“

You shrug.

“He has black hair, about this tall,” they reach their hand up to slightly above their own height. “and blue eyes. But recently, his appearance changed.”

You were too busy thinking to catch their last throwaway sentence. From the description alone, you could already feel Dan Feng’s presence in the air. It was as if the fateful string that bound you two together had finally lured you to him.

It was him, it was really him. He looked a little different — more meek, colder eyes, odd posture — but you could tell that it was him. He stared you down with a strange look, something between confusion and embarrassment.

“Dan Feng…” You can’t help but murmur, a hand reaching out for him. He was a sinner, but he was your lover too, once. He jolted at the sound of his name. Why? Why was he so scared of himself? He brushed your hand away, now avoiding your gaze.

“I’m… I’m not Dan Feng. He’s been gone for a long time.”

“But it’s still you… deep down, isn’t it? I can feel it. You’re still you.”

“I am Dan Heng.”

You frowned at this, unsure of what to say next. Who else could it be? Even reincarnated, you knew it was him. And he knew it was you, didn’t he?

“Do you know who I am, Dan Heng?” The name felt nasty on your tongue, leaving a horrid taste of longing.

“…I know that you must’ve been important to him.”

Tears well as you grab for him, when he makes contact, it’s a burst of emotions. Relief, a catharsis of sorts, but also a horrible feeling of mourning. This wasn’t him. It wasn’t Dan Feng. Like he said, Dan Feng was long gone.

Soft hands lay on your hair. You could tell he was unsure of what to do, having a stranger cling to him like this.

“You… he… he made a promise to me. That we’d meet again in his next life… and that we’d live out the future we never got to have. Do you… remember that? Do you have his memories?”

“I… maybe. Nothing is very clear.”

“I promised him that no matter who he was, where I’d find him, I’d love him all the same. But… he’s gone now, isn’t he?” Sure, this Dan Heng was his reincarnation, but it wasn’t really him. He didn’t have his memories, or his love, or that spark in his eyes, or the fire in his heart. And… that was okay. You pulled away from the hug, finally content with this ending as you wiped away tears.

“I’m sorry, really. I’m sorry that he couldn’t keep that promise to you.”

ask before translating, taking inspo from (not copy), reposting, etc. my work. remember to credit me and if you’re taking inspo from it, please @ me as I’d like to see what you do with my ideas!

[reegis]

Yo! Do you have any notes/tips for your coloring process? I've always had trouble with that part of drawings looking good lmao and I really like yours! If not for your specific style, do you have any tips with that in general?

Iv gotten a few asks about how I color but iv always avoided answering because

A) I am absolutely awful at explaining things, and

B) I am a very Very lazy artist you should probably Not do the things that I do

BUT i feel bad gatekeeping(?) my horrible technique if it helps anybody ig ill try and explain so

✨✨✨Welcome to Reegis’ Probably Not Reputable (But Very Long Winded) Art Advice✨✨✨✨

line art of a random character for the example, just pic whatever colors you have in mind for your base colors, you can try using palette generators or basing it off of existing palettes/characters/whatever I have absolutely no idea how color theory works (& this is why you shouldnt listen to me) so im solely going off of vibes. but it is Rough so onto step 2 & 3

(edit to add i usually start off with the skin hair & clothes on separate clipping layers and merge them together towards the end.. i think i forgot to say that at all here oops)

I abuse the hellll out of layer blending modes. overlay, saturation & multiply mainly, but also difference, brightness & screen. (just doodle something & try all of em out to get a feel for them honestly ik theres a Lot and they can be intimidating) for this i just wanted a more cohesive warmer tone to start with so i added a peachy overlay & a slight ombré to the hair to add a bit more interest to the character.

then just the most basic of rendering, some blush & highlights just wherever i think theyd go.

Another thing they tell you Not to do, my next step is to block out all my shading in a vaguely purpleish multiply layer!!! i cant be assed to do it any other way im sorry…. once i have the basic shading down, i lock the layer & go in with air brush eraser & also airbrush in other colors wherever I think the purple is maybe too harsh/clashing

still wasnt 100% happy with the colors so messed around with some more layer filter/modes/whatever you call them then colored in my line art! i think this is honestly the saving grace for all of my art shshsdhhf color your lines people. doesnt have to be all (i dont, i like the contrast) but it usually helps to make some at least a little less harsh

then with a little more color tweaking im done! one random sleepy dude, fully colored (by my standards)

and then if a piece needs more dramatic lighting you justttt

im so serious play around with layer settings! these are just basic multiply & add(glow), there as so many others you can abuse the shit out of & nobody will know or care in your finished piece.

was this?? in any way helpful???? I hope so.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 31

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

pt 30

pt 32

A/N: Please remember that until further notice ALL of these chapters are FLASHBACKS that take place BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF FIXER UPPER! Just clarifying again because I’m tired of having to explain it 😭😭

warnings: lots of death, animal death, Kurapika gets drunk again lol, Reader’s suicidal thoughts/urges brought up

taglist: @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @sweetstraberrybear @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @nenggie @wicked-binch @jamayah @themanicwriter01

If you’d like to be ADDED to the taglist, please comment a red heart ❤️, make sure you’re able to be tagged/mentioned, and have your age in your bio(IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TAGLIST, YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK TO BE ADDED AGAIN!!)

(Name) stood in her apartment after reaching York New city, packing more essentials now that she was more prepared for the trip she was going to be taking.

They were headed to NGL, a country where people lived alongside nature. Apparently that’s where Kite assumed the chimera ant queen claw came from.

As she was about to leave, her phone began to rang.

“… Melody?” she answered as she walked out of the door. Melody sounded frantic on the other end, blubbering.

“It’s Kurapika, he got himself drunk again and won’t stop crying! I’m trying to coax him out of the bar, but he won’t listen to me.”

(Name) paused, standing outside of her apartment, her key hovering over the lock. “… he what?”

“He’s incredibly drunk, and won’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid he’ll make himself sick.”

(Name) paused, rubbing her temple. ‘What has gotten into him? Why is he acting like this when he’s always been so calm and collected?’

“I’m about to leave for another country. Leorio should be the second closest person to your location, I’ll text him.”

Melody sighed in relief over the phone, and (Name) could vaguely hear Kurapika slurring his words and the sound of objects being thrown around.

“Thank you, (Name). I know talking about him upsets you, I don’t mean to burden you-“

“No, it’s not a burden at all. He… he may have done and said some bad things, but I still love him with all my heart.”

She sighed softly, calling Leorio shortly after. He picked up almost immediately. “(Name), how are you doing? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you, I’ve been-“

“Leorio…”

He paused, immediately going silent at the sound of her voice. “… what happened?”

(Name) locked her apartment, looking at the address Melody sent her. “It’s Kurapika. Apparently he’s drunk and won’t listen to reason. I can’t go for various reasons, but do you think you c-“

“No.”

She blinked, taking a moment to think before responding. “… no? What do you mean?”

“(Name), do you seriously expect me to help him after everything he put you through? For gods sake, you nearly killed yourself!”

The air grew thick and tense, and she could hear Leorio sigh over the phone. “I… I shouldn’t have said that. But my point still stands. How can you even think about helping him after that? The things he said to you… I care about you, (Name), but you need to think of yourself for once. I know you love him, but… there’s only so much you can do for someone that’s stuck in the past.”

She teared up, trembling. (Name) knew Leorio was right, she really did, but she couldn’t just leave Kurapika to potentially hurt himself or others. It wasn’t right. “Please…”

Leorio felt his heart leap into his throat when he heard how desperate she sounded. He knew just from the sound of her voice that she was crying. He slapped a hand over his forehead, cursing himself mentally for snapping at her. She was still in a very sensitive stage of healing, it wasn’t the right time to be saying these things to her.

“For me, Leorio… I couldn’t live with myself if I knew he got hurt…” she pleaded. He could picture the tears falling down her chubby cheeks, and her hands trembling as they held onto her phone.

He groaned, rubbing his temple. “Alright, alright… but I won’t be nice about it.”

She sniffled, and he was relieved when he heard a little laugh escape her lips. “Haha… thank you, Leorio. Be safe, love you.”

“You be safe, got me worried to death over here. I’ll come running if you need me, don’t hesitate to call my phone if you run into trouble on your mission.” Leorio said, his eyes softening as he looked at her contact photo.

“And… I love you too.”

She smiled, her finger hovering over the end call button. “Goodbye, Leorio.”

“Bye, sunshine.”

Leorio glanced at the address (Name) texted him before signing heavily. ‘He never thinks about how his actions will affect others, does he? There’s no way I’ll be nice to him about this.’

He put on his coat and made his way to his car, placing his cup of coffee in the cup holder. Leorio wasn’t going to let this slide.

Not at all.

———————

(Name) met up with the others at the airport, spotting Gon and Killua sitting together. As soon as they noticed her, the two boys perked up, Gon waving his hand with a big smile on his face. “(Name), you’re back!”

She put on the best smile she could. (Name) had tried her hardest to wipe away any evidence that she had been crying on her way to the airport, but Killua still raised an eyebrow when she got closer.

Gon was the one to point it out, though. “(Name)… are you alright? You look like you’ve been crying.”

A sigh left her lips before she could stop herself, the (h/c) haired woman waving her hand dismissively. “I’m fine, where’s Kite?”

She nearly jumped when Kite walked into view, almost as if he was summoned. Killua and Gon turned to face him as he began to speak.

“It may be a bit late to ask, but are you sure you want to come?”

“Of course!” Gon answered immediately, wearing his usual smile.

“You’re my nen teacher, I don’t have much of a choice.” (Name) said, folding her arms.

“You weren’t kidding about the “late” part.” Killua replied with a smirk.

Kite glanced at them before looking ahead. “We have no idea what the situation is like inside NGL. There may very well be a swarm of giant Chimera Ants already, hunting humans down. If that turns out to be the case, my priority will be saving them, so I may not be able to help any of you. You must be able to protect yourselves. If you want to come, that’s the requirement.”

With the last line, Killua spared (Name) a glance, his expression changing only enough for his closest friend to notice. “Okay, got it.” Gon agreed to Kite’s requirements, gently squeezing Killua’s hand. It was his way of saying that they would be okay, that (Name) would be okay.

“We’ll be fine.” Killua said, relaxing slightly with Gon’s comforting touch. Again he snuck a glance at (Name) who was looking intently a kite. Killua didn’t think she was weak, but he knew she wasn’t on their level of strength at all. Although he worried, he was confident that either him or Gon would be able to protect her if push came to shove.

This thought made the young assassin pause. ‘When did I come to care for her so much?’

He thought back to the Hunter Exam, remembering when she stepped in front of the woman who planned on killing him and got hurt in the process, or when she covered him and Gon in her cardigan to keep them warm during the Third Phase. She even let the boys stay at her apartment when they came for the York New auction, feeding and housing them for free. It wasn’t often that people showed Killua genuine kindness.

Unfortunately, Killua was used to working with a guve and take sort of relationship. ‘If I keep her safe during this, it’ll more than pay back for all the nice things she’s done. Then I won’t be in her debt.’ Killua thought to himself, trying to shake off the feeling of dread he had about her coming with them. Caring for too many people was a recipe for disaster, especially going into a dangerous situation like this one. The more you worried about others, the more likely you are to get yourself killed.

“Don’t worry boys, I’ll keep you safe.”

Killua felt his stomach sink at (Name)’s words. A soft, but firm hand was placed on both of their shoulders as she spoke. “I won’t let anything happen to you, not on my life.”

His chest hurt, it felt like he was having trouble breathing. Why was this woman that was obviously so much weaker than them so determined to keep them safe, when it was them who should be protecting her? Why did she put herself in harms way when she didn’t have to, when it didn’t benefit her? Killua didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand.

But… it made him feel strangely… happy. Someone in this world was determined to keep him safe, to keep him happy and warm and fed. No one had ever given him that type of security before. Sure Gon was his friend who he loved and cherished, but he couldn’t give Killua the type of love (Name) did.

The love a mother had for her son.

‘Mom…’

Killua looked at her a little differently, staying silent as Kite spoke up once more.

“And if I’m the one who’s in danger, you should escape without me.” Kite finished, looking between the three of them. “Got it?”

None of them answered, his words leaving them uneasy.

As they flew over York New city, the sun began to set before they knew it. (Name), Gon, and Killua watched as the sun set outside of the airship.

“What did you just decide?”

“Remember what Kite said before we left? That we should escape without him if he’s in danger.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it was a choice.”

“Yeah. That’s why none of us answered, but I’ve been thinking. Is it possible for Kite, who earned Ging’s respect, to be in that much danger?”

(Name) frowned, leaning against the wall. That was a question only a child would ask. Of course, regardless of skill, one could always be in danger given the right circumstance. There was always a bigger fish, someone was alway stronger than you.

“You said that Ging had a reason for bringing Kite and me together…” Gon said, glancing to Killua.

“Yeah.”

“You’re probably right. I don’t know the reason, but I can’t give up halfway, no matter what’s going on. Otherwise I’ll disappoint Ging. Of course, I could never forgive myself, either. So I won’t run away. Thats I’ve decided.”

Killua sighed. “Man, you had this totally serious expression, so I was expecting something big. But it’s just business as usual.”

“Huh? I thought about this a lot. I even ran a bunch of mental simulations…”

(Name) tried not to laugh imagining Gon trying his best to think of possible situations that may happen in the near future.

“Think all you’ll want, but you’ll still be Gon. If someone said you should abandon them, you’d never do it.” Killua replied, unable to keep himself from smiling:

“Mmm… you make it sound like I wasted my time considering it. Then what about you?”

“I’m a spontaneous guy, so I’d think about it when the time comes.”

“You mean you might run away?”

Killua paused for just a moment, his eyes moving from (Name) then back to Gon. He exhaled, shrugging his shoulders.

“Depends. I can’t say until it actually happens.”

“Say for instance…”

“I can’t tell you what is do in a hypothetical situation. I don’t decide until it’s time.”

The air ship carried the group heads for the Mitene Union, still unaware of the cruel fate that lies in wait for them…

————————

Seeking the giant Chimera Any, Kite’s group has arr he’s in the Mitene Union. Now, they travel from the Republic of Rokario to the neighboring GGL Autonomous Region. “NGL, huh? They believe living naturally is always better. They may be weird for living there, but you guys are weird for coming to visit, too. No idea what’s going on, but I’ve already driven in about ten similar groups today alone.”

“Ten groups?!” Gon exclaimed, turning to look at the man driving them.

“Yeah.”

“Then it sounds like we’re among the last to arrive.” Kite said, gazing out the window.

The all exited the van, (Name) groaning as she stretched lightly. “Ugh, my legs fell asleep. K-Kite!”

She held onto his arm, her legs shaking like a newborn giraffe as she tried to regain her balance.

“I told you to not sit on your leg, but you wouldn’t listen.” Killua teased, poking her leg. She yelped and nearly fell over, but was kept steady by a firm hand on her lower back.

“Those two huge trees serve as the checkpoint and embassy,” the driver said, pointing to the large trees ahead of them.

“Those may be the biggest trees I’ve ever seen in my life. Hmm…” (Name) walked towards them. “These probably hold so much history. Do you think they were around before the people living in this country?”

“Probably long before.” Kite answered, smiling softly as she waddled on ahead with Killua and Gon flanking her in case she stumbled. “Stay alert. The ants are a concern, but the NGL is more than a nature loving organization.”

“Got it.”

Two men met them at one of the trees, smiling in a vaguely friendly way. “What brings you here?”

“We’re on a hunt. A quarantined organism may have invaded this country.”

“If you are pro Hunters, then we cannot deny you entry. Follow me.”

They walked inside, where men were typing away on computers. “You’re using computers to and machines.” Killua said, staying near (Name)’s side.

“This place isn’t within NGL’s borders. This area is used for foreign relations and information exchange.”

“Are there any facilities similar to this within the country?”

“No, not a single one. No machines of any kind are allowed inside NGL. Naturally, visitors are also not allowed to bring any inside. Which means you’ll need to remove all metallic, petroleum, glass, or other such goods on your person.”

“D-Does that included my glasses?”

“Yes. If your clothes, belts, shoes, or underwear contain any plastic, chemicals, or metal you must remove.”

(Name)’s face heated up, and she took a step back. Both Killua and Gon didn’t seem very pleased, but stayed quiet.

“You’re kidding. You’re telling us to strip naked?” Spin said, popping her bubblegum.

“Don’t worry. There is natural clothing for sale upstairs.”

“Also, if there are any bolts inside your body, dental implants, gold, silver. Or silicone enhancements that cannot be removed, you will not be allowed to enter.”

(Name) accompanied the others upstairs, looking around the racks for suitable clothing. She was disappointed to see very sparse options in the plus size section. ‘Well, at least there’s something.’

She walked out, wearing a tanktop and baggy sweatpants. It wasn’t super flattering, but the clothes were strangely comfortable.

“Miss, you can keep your cardigan. It’s made with wool and died with beetroot juice.”

Killua and Gon watched as she happily donned her signature cardigan. “Ah, that’s fortunate. I really didn’t want to leave it behind.”

She walked down the stairs, joining the others. Kite watched as she smiled softly, gently patting her cardigan. “Only six of us are left?”

He glanced out the window. “I want you to stand by in the closest town. We’ll return here within two weeks and contact you.”

“Got it.”

The group was taken across to the other tree. “The checkpoint is over there. There will be a physical exam and interview as well as metal, x-ray, and ultrasound scanning.”

Kite sighed, surveying the area. “The security is rather strict.”

“Some people have smuggled in guns by hiding the parts inside their bodies. It’s common for people to hide cameras or cellphones in their rectums. Some people even trained animals to bring them laptops once they are inside.”

After thoroughly checking them, the woman gave them a friendly smile. “All of you are clean.”

(Name) sighed, looking as they stored away her medication, even her inhaler. Killua and Gon glanced at each other then to her.

“(Name), are you sure you should come without your inhaler? Leorio said it was very important that you keep it on you at all times…” Gon said, tilting his head.

She shrugged, buttoning her cardigan up slightly. “Meh, I’ll probably be fine… I just have to take it easy.”

“This isn’t exactly the place where you’ll be able to take it easy, dummy.” Killua replied, lightly smacking her head.

“Owie…”

She held her head and followed them as they were guided towards the entrance to the NGL.

“Thank you for your patience. Please pass through,”

The walked out, (Name) nearly being blinded by the bright light.

“Welcome to the NGL!”

The looked out across the landscape, being somewhat unimpressed. “Okay, let’s begin the hunt.”

———————

(Name) held on tightly to Kite’s waist, her face buried into his back. “I didn’t know you were scared of horses, (Name),” Killua teased from the back of another horse.

“I’m n-not afraid of horses, I just don’t like riding them!”

“They’re gentle creatures, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Gon, I said I’m not afraid of horses! I’m afraid of riding on the back of a galloping creature with little to no way to stay secure!”

Kite glanced back at her, his hand gently taking hers. “I won’t let you fall, so don’t worry.”

She paused, her cheeks beating up ever so slightly as she buried her face further into his back. “Thanks… that might make up for you forgetting to teach me.”

He snickered. “I still intend to teach you, when we have the time.”

“Uh huh.”

Killua’s watched the interaction, his eyebrows furrowing. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, he felt strangely protective over her, and he wasn’t as sure about Kite as Gon was.

They took a short break, Killua pulling (Name) over to sit with him and Gon while they looked over a map. “Woah, slow down. You’re pulling me too hard.”

“Sorry.”

He didn’t sound very sorry. She huffed, kneeling beside the two as they went over the map. As they spoke, she rummaged through her bag to hand out some water and snacks.

“They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Gon said, making (Name) look up. Killua nodded.

“Yeah… they claim to be here in case we encounter unknown tribes and require interpreters or intermediaries, but they’re obviously here to watch us.”

“Well, I never expected the people here to be of any help. My gut tells me that it’s here.” (Name) jumped slightly when Kite walked over.

“You really think so? The air does seem… off.”

Kite nodded, walking back towards their horse. “Yeah, let’s get going. We’re burning daylight.”

They continued on horseback, (Name) finding a bit of courage to look around. The area was desert like, so quiet a bit of dust was kicked up by the horses. She squinted her eyes, spotting a small dot of yellow approaching them.

‘Is that… no, it can’t be…’

“Kite, we have to stop!”

Kite brought the horse to a stop, the others following suit. As they looked to her for an explanation, one of the bees landed on her finger, a piece of paper stuck to it.

“This… this is one of Ponzu’s bees.”

Kite took the paper, reading over it before handing it to Gon and Killua.

The note read: “Help!! Chimera ant nest! Rocky Area, notify Hunter Association!!” along with a small drawing of said rocky area.

“It’ll be dangerous… but could you accompany me?” Kite asked looking to the three.

“Of course!” Gon said immediately, the bee landing on his finger.

“We’re pros…” Killua agreed, glancing (Name)’s way. He was hoping she would turn back, but when he noticed the expression on her face, he knew there was no way she would be leaving.

“Yeah… I’m going. I want to know if Ponzu is okay.”

Killua helped (Name) off of the horse, holding onto her hand. “Are you sure? Like Kite said, it’s going to be dangerous.”

He was hoping he could persuade her, but knew he couldn’t. When she wanted to do something, she would do it. “I’m sure. Thank you for worrying though, Killua.”

Killua felt his face go red as she ruffled his hair. Although he usually wouldn’t let people get away with treating him like a child… he didn’t mind if it was her. It wasn’t done to demean him or put down his accomplishments, it was purely because she cared about him, and he was beginning to realize that.

“Miss Interpreter… sorry, but we’re in a hurry.” Kite said to the woman that had been following them.

“Yes. The horses can move a bit faster.”

“They won’t be fast enough. I want you two to return to the border, find the others, and get word to the Association. These creatures are dangerous.” Kite said to the others.

“Got it.”

“Be careful, Kite.”

(Name) began to stretch with Killua and Gon, lacing up her shoes again and tying them extra tight. She wasn’t sure how long she could run for, but she knew she could keep up with them for a good bit.

“If you can’t keep up, I’ll leave you behind.” Kite warned, getting off the horse. Killua huffed.

“Right back at you.”

“All ready to go!” Gon said, smiling.

(Name) stood beside them, feeling a bit nervous. She looked between the other three, holding the straps of her backpack tight.

“Let’s go.”

She ran beside them, keeping up pretty well. As they raised through the desert area, Killua and Gon both kept an eye on her to make sure she was still following behind. They didn’t doubt her skill, but did worry over her due to her asthma. Not only were they running quite a bit, but they were kicking up a lot of dust as they did.

She was relieved when they came upon a forested area, the group stopping a bit ahead of her. Thinking it was for a break, she took out her canteen and took a swig, only to spit out her water almost immediately.

On the ground in front of them was a puddle of blood, along with torn bits of clothing… clothing that (Name) recognized. “No…”

Gon grimaced beside her, his hand reaching out to squeeze hers. It was a bit too tight, but she didn’t say anything, she was in shock.

Killua bent over. “This… is a bullet casing.”

(Name) turned to see him holding up just that, the bucket casing glinting in the light that shined between the canopy above. “Nothing mechanical is allowed here, right?”

“So the underground rulers of NGL were manufacturing guns in addition to drugs.”

“But, judging by this…”

“It wasn’t done by a human. Most likely, it was a Chimera Ant. If the Chimera Ants are using guns… I hate to consider the possibility, but it’s possible that NGL’s underground rulers have already been fed to the queen…”

(Name) was still in shock, dropping to her knees to tenderly pick up Ponzu’s hat. Her fingers traced the fabric, brushing away the dirt.

“What will happen if Chimera Ants are both with their genes? NGL and Chimera Ants… the worst combination imaginable. This could create an unprecedented biohazard.”

Killua watched her from a distance, feeling some strange heartache when he noticed tears falling down her cheeks.

“Do you think she’s… alive?”

Her voice cracked at the work alive, as if it was hard for her to imagine a world where Ponzu wasn’t alive. Killua and Gon shared a glance, preparing to speak but Kite beat them to it.

“It’s unlikely.”

It was like time stopped, the air around her growing too heavy to breathe in. She stared at the hat in her grasp, her hands trembling. “No… no she can’t be dead, there… there has to be-“

“(Name).”

Kite placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “We can’t sit here and speculate. If we don’t keep moving, the death count will keep rising, and your friend’s death would have been in vain. If seeing death is something you can’t handle, you should turn back while you still can.”

It was a bit harsh, but he wasn’t wrong. The road ahead of the would be full of death and destruction, and if she chose to walk that road she would have to be strong enough to keep moving, despite her losses.

She wiped her tears and stood up, pocketing Ponzu’s hat. “Sorry, I’m ready.”

Kite nodded, and they all began their journey again, this time in complete silence.

————————

In a town a few hours away from York New, Leorio drove down one of the winding roads as he glanced at the address on his phone. It was nearly midnight, and he had an important exam he’d have to take in the morning.

“You’re doing this for her, Leorio,” he mumbled to himself as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

(Name) never asked him to do things for her, no, she only asked for favors when it came to helping others. Sometimes he wished she would put herself first and let him be there for her more, but he knew that it would take some time for her to open up more.

Leorio stopped the car and peeked out his window, surveying the bar the address had led him to.

“Where is he? Melody told (Name) he would be-“

He stopped, his eyes landing on a slumped figure sitting on the sidewalk. Leorio knew exactly who it was, even though their face was covered by their long blonde hair.

“Kurapika.”

Leorio stood in front of the blonde, waiting as he slowly lifted his head. “Leorio? Why… are you here..?”

The man crossed his arms, staring down at Kurapika with the look of a disappointed father. “Come on, you can’t just sit on the sidewalk drunk. Where’s Melody?”

The blonde blinked slowly, his eyes half lidded as he looked up at Leorio. “Had to go watch Neon…”

Leorio’s lips formed into a tight line. “I’m assuming she took your shift to save your ass?”

Kurapika didn’t answer, instead hiccuping before sipping on a bottle of water that had been left beside him. Leorio knew it had to be Melody who left it behind for him, to help Kurapika sober up a bit. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

The blonde didn’t protest, stumbling to his feet and nearly falling on his face before Leorio caught him. “Fuck, Kurapika, you’re wasted. What the hell has gotten into you?”

He didn’t answer, the smell of alcohol on Kurapika’s breath making Leorio grimace. Even through his anger, Leorio could sense something was wrong, that the person he had considered his friend needed help. “Whatever, come on.”

Leorio placed him in the passenger seat of his car, grabbing (Name)’s cardigan from the backseat and tossing it to Kurapika. It was cold, and Leorio’s car didn’t have heating, so that would keep him warm.

He just wasn’t expecting the reaction Kurapika would have to the soft clothing.

Kurapika’s eyes went wide, tears falling down his cheeks as he buried his face into the fabric, sobbing into her cardigan. “(Name)… oh, (Name)…”

This act made Leorio pause, his brows knitting together. He knew Kurapika had pushed her away for her own good, but he had still been unnecessarily cruel to the only person that had given him unconditional love since his clan was massacred. In Leorio’s eyes, he didn’t have the right to be sobbing into her cardigan and whimpering her name. Kurapika didn’t deserve to mourn her as if she was dead when she was still alive.

But Leorio still helped him to his hotel room, still held back his hair when he threw up, and still brushed Kurapika’s teeth for him so he wouldn’t have the taste of vomit in his mouth when he woke up. Leorio was a doctor, he couldn’t just leave him without something, so he tucked Kurapika in and set a glass of water and some pain relief medicine on the nightstand. It was all he could do, he had to leave so he could try and get some sleep before his exam in the morning.

As he left, he remembered that Kurapika still had (Name)’s cardigan. Leorio was about to take it back, but he watched as Kurapika snuggled into the fabric, the scent helping to calm down his racing heart. Leorio was far too kind, muttering under his breath as he closed Kurapika’s hotel door behind him. “I’ll just ask Melody to wash it and send it back tomorrow…”

Kurapika wouldn’t remember any of this encounter when he woke up, but he would be pleasantly surprised to be wearing (Name)’s cardigan in the morning.

Neither Leorio or (Name) would get that cardigan back, unfortunately.

————————

“It’s safe to assume that the Chimera Ants have assumed control of NGL’s interior. The question is if we can reach their nest before the Queen births the King.”

(Name) was having a bit of trouble keeping up, her chest was heavy with grief and regrets. Could she have saved Ponzu if she had come with her and Pokkle instead?

“Hindsight is always 20/20. Thinking of what could have been will change nothing,” Kite stated, as if he could read (Name)’s thoughts. The woman frowned deeply.

“I know… but… if I had just-“

Kite cut her off by holding up his hand. “But you didn’t. You’re here now, let’s focus on trying to honor your friend by saving as many lives as we can.”

She didn’t answer, simply allowing Gon to squeeze her hand gently. (Name) didn’t have the words or energy to properly respond to Kite. Her absence in her friend’s time of need weighed heavily on her chest, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive herself.

“There’s still hope, (Name),” Gon said softly as they continued towards a small village. “You said Pokkle was with her, right? Maybe he’s still alive.”

She tried her best to smile. “You’re right, there is still hope. Sorry if I scared you, Gon.”

She knew better than most that Gon didn’t like seeing his friends lose hope. It was something that made the boy a bit anxious, and he’d often do as much as he could to make the other feel better. (Name) tried to keep her aura neutral as calm, to make sure he didn’t feel the need to comfort her too much. Gon was just a child after all, a child she wanted to protect. She couldn’t let her feelings of grief potentially put him in harm’s way.

That’s why, even as they walked through the abandoned village, she remained silent, a cold anger washing over her at the sight of torn and bloody children’s clothes and beloved dollies left behind in the dirt. No child would willingly leave their previous toy behind, and the clothes being the only thing telling them humans had been there was very similar to the state they’d found Ponzu in. Or well, what was left of her.

“No one’s here.” Gon said softly as his fingers traced the splintered wood of a destroyed door. Whatever had been there before them had the strength to tear down homes like shredding paper. “Hey… something smells. Coming from over there.”

The group followed a trail of blood, Killua instinctively sticking very close to (Name). It’s like his body could sense that she wasn’t as well equipped as them to handle the threat they would soon face, and he would need to have her at arms length in case something came at them.

They found several horses impaled on tree limbs, the sound of flies buzzing around they corpses and the smell of death becoming more pronounced the closer they got. (Name) covered her nose, gagging at the pungent odor hanging around the area.

“It’s like a morning sacrifice.” Gon said, making Killua and (Name) tilt their heads.

“A ritual practices by birds called bull-headed shrikes. They impale their prey on sharp objects such as branches.” Kite explained to the two, before they all turned their heads.

“HEY!”

Killua threw his arm in front of (Name), fueled by pure instinct. She yelped slightly, he hadn’t had time to hold back, so the blow to her belly stung quite a bit. She didn’t complain though, the sight of the creature appearing before them made her pain dull in comparison to the overwhelming fear she felt.

It was tall, possibly taller than Kite with a human-like appearance. The thing that set it apart was the strange legs and wing like limbs, along with rabbit ears, nose, and whiskers. The thing about it that scared her the most was the fact that it had been able to conceal its presence from them.

“What!?”

“Wh-what is that thing?”

(Name) pushed away the urge to pull Killua and Gon behind her, knowing that one wrong move could have that thing attack them within seconds. Her eyes didn’t leave the creature, not for a second. She had never felt so afraid, not even standing before the Phantom Troupe. At least they had been human, but she had no idea what this was, and the unknown was more frightening than anything else.

They were all on high alert, watching as it raised a hand to point at them. “Trash. Those are mine!”

It seemed to be angry that they were near its prey, the horses. That thing must have been what impale the poor things.

It launched towards them, so fast that (Name) could barely follow it with her eyes. Kite was its target, and when he easily dodged it, it came after them. It hit her, Gon, and Killua out of the way, the blow causing them to fly backwards several feet. (Name) nearly puked, and even Gon whined from the pain.

That sound made (Name) tense up, her aura spreading out to cover the two as she got into a fighting position. She didn’t have as much experience as Killua and Gon, but she would fight regardless.

The creature seemed focused on Kite, as he was the biggest threat, but he didn’t give the creature the time of day, instead disappearing from sight before reappearing behind the three. “Gon, Killua, (Name). You three must deal with him yourselves. This is a chimera ant soldier, we will encounter many more like him. I won’t be able to help you during combat. If you can’t defeat it, you’ll have to leave. You’ll just be in my way.”

The two boys nodded, their auras spiking as (Name) bit her lip. She knew Kite was right, he usually was, but she feared what may happen to them.

“Weren’t you listening, Kite?” Gon asked, his gaze focusing on the chimera ant.

“We’re also pros!” Killua added as they began to advance towards their opponent.

“Don’t treat us like kids!”

(Name) jumped slightly, holding a hand over her heart. She wanted to listen, but in her heart there would always be children to her. But she knew that babying them wouldn’t accomplish anything, so instead she stood by their sides, ready to fight with them.

(Name) attacked with them, barely dodging a hit that would have knocked her head clean off her shoulders. She used her nen to protect her body from another blow before reinforcing her fists and focusing all of her nen into her fist to punch him in the face.

The creature was dazed just long enough for Killua and to land a lightning based attack on him, paralyzing it so Gon could get a hit in with his own nen attack.

It was launched into the air, and before the could continue, it was scooped up by another Chimera Ant. It growled and roared, struggling. “Bastards! I’m gonna eat you! I will! Remember this!”

“Our attacks…” Gon whispered, his eyes still on the Chimera Ant.

“They didn’t work.” Killua finished, giving (Name) a look over before frowning.

Kite approached them, his aura calm. “That guy’s smart. He let his soldier do the fighting, so he could learn our abilities. Are you coming?”

They all turned to look at him, eyes wide.

“There’s no need to feel down. Your attacks weren’t that bad. You just need experience now. If you wish to become stronger, this is a perfect opportunity. But if you aren’t prepared, you won’t be able to endure the ordeal. Whether we win or lose, hell lied ahead of us.”

They glanced at each other, and (Name) knew that she couldn’t leave. Not when things like that chimera ant existed.

“We’re coming.”

“Yeah.”

————————

As the sun began to set, they came across the corpses of several NGL workers that ran the hidden drug factory. Although they weren’t good people, (Name) still said a quick prayer, hoping they would find peace after being slaughtered like animals.

“This is ugly… the stench alone would guide us to the corpses.” Kite said, looking over the devastation caused by the chimera ants.

“Look at this. So this is the hidden side of the NGL.”

Killua held up a gun, frowning. (Name) took it from his hands and set it back down, then took out her handkerchief and swiped it over his palms.

“I suppose so.”

They looked up when they heard Gon call them from the hill. “Killua, Kite, (Name)…”

The silence of the Drug factory overtaken by the Chimera Ants further intensified the chill in the air. There was no doubt that every human that had once worked there was now dead, the smell confirmed it.

(Name) sighed softly as they set up camp for the night nearby. It was far enough away that they could actually rest for a bit in shifts. As Gon and Killua slept, Kite turned to (Name).

“You did well during the fight, but I did notice you only used your basic nen practices. Is there a reason for that?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s because I don’t really know all that much about nen. I’ve got the basics down, but when it comes to anything more advanced, I’m not that knowledgeable.”

Kite winced, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, I have a feeling I’m to blame for that.”

(Name) smiled, glancing back at the two boys sleeping before giving Kite her attention again. “Mmm, I didn’t want to say it, but yeah.”

They both shared a laugh before Kite leaned back and sighed. “Alright, I guess this is a good opportunity to teach you some things, but let’s start you off by retaking the water divination test.”

She watched as Kite prepared the test, her fingers tapping nervously against her leg. “Relax, you took it once before, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… but I was alone. I… I was pretty sure the volume of water increased.”

Kite hummed in thought. “Well, with another person here to inspect the results, maybe I can pick up on something you didn’t.”

“Yeah…”

She held her hands over the cup, gently emitting her aura. Again, it seemed like the volume of water in the cup raised, but Kite seemed to notice something she didn’t. “Ah, so that’s what it is… I had a feeling you weren’t an enhancer, and I was right.”

(Name) tilted her had as he lifted the leaf in the cup, and was surprised to see roots stretching down to the bottom of the cup. “The reason the volume of water rose was because you were making this leaf sprout roots. You’re a specialist for sure, possibly with some kind of time ability…”

“B-but I thought… my ability was to heal…”

Kite shook his head, placing the leaf in her hand. “Keep using your ability and don’t stop until I say so.”

She nodded and continued, her eye widening as the roots continued to grow, and then shrivel up in her hand before turning to dust. “You have the ability to speed up time. It can be used to heal, but it can also be used to hurt.”

Kite tried to hide his concerned expression. This was quite the ability for an inexperienced nen user to have. As her teacher, he would have to report this to Chairman Netero for safety reasons, but as her friend… he was impressed.

“(Name)!” Gon whisper yelled, crouching next to her. Before telling her what he wanted to, he let out a yawn and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “It’s… your turn to sleep.”

“Ah, okay.”

She got up, but Kite caught her arm. “(Name), don’t forget what we learned tonight. I want you to try using your ability in your next battle.”

“Yeah… I will.”

She laid down in the sleeping back Kite brought, getting some much needed rest, feeling a lot more confident in herself, now that she knew what she was capable of.

————————

Kite, Gon, Killua, and (Name) had advanced deep within NGL, in search of the Chimera Ant nest, and have arrived at a cliff with peculiar openings.

“This is the Chimera Ant nest?” Gon asked, looking upon the former weapon factory.

“No, they don’t make their nests in holes. They use mud and feces to build them.” Kite replied, making the three wince in disgust. “Let’s go. You’ll understand once we’re inside.”

The lights along the tunnel flickered as they travelled through it. (Name) wrapped her cardigan tightly around herself, feeling the slight cool breeze blow past them as they ventured in further.

“There’s no telling when or from where they will attack. Be on your guard.” Kite warned.

“Yeah, got it. That other chimera ant completely concealed his presence.”

Killua’s reminder made (Name) shudder. It was frightening, thinking of beings they had considered animals being able to conceal themselves completely.

“Is this place…”

They entered a room with various numbered large vials stood, some shattered. Body parts were scattered on the floor, presumably belonging to the now fed NGL workers.

“Yes, it is NGL’s hidden side.” Kite confirmed.

“A drug factory.”

“Exactly. This factory produces the ingestible drug D2 which is spreading throughout the mainland. There are probably bila trees nearby, which produce its main ingredient. Ironic given their claims as preservationists.” Kite said with a scoff.

“They’re making more than drugs. Look.” Killua opened a box containing various guns. “It’s the same as the others.”

“I assume that only the NGL leaders know the truth of this place. The other members joined because they honestly loved nature. “

“So this facility is the center of NGL’s underground. If it’s empty…

Then Chimera Ants have wiped out the NGL underground. And a bunch of amateurs with guns won’t suffice to deal with them.” Kite finished Killua’s thought.

(Name) tuned them out for a moment as she inspected the guns, but was quickly stirred from her thoughts when Kite spoke.

“Shh, a few are around.”

She was immediately on guard, her body tensing as she stood among Killua and Gon. “They’re slowly approaching through the middle tunnel. There are more in the right and left tunnels.” Kite warned.

“En… how far can you search?” Killua asked as the approached the room.

“Everything within a 45 meter radius.”

“45 meters!?” Gon exclaimed, glancing around the room.

“Depending on physical and mental condition, I can increase that by a few meters. Here they come!”

(Name) prepared herself for the fight ahead, ready to test out her abilities for the first time.

[corviiids]

ok wait im back for the kira game. bc i feel like its remiss to ask about goro and not ren. but also is it cheating if it's not just ren it's the phantom thieves as a whole

let's do the phantom thieves because i don't think ren has a chance on his own. sorry ren i love you but it's not gonna happen.

verdict: grudging maybe using the anime powers of friendship and being a protagonist and futaba's anime hackerman skills, but in my heart it's a no, at least not unscathed

could the phantom thieves intuit the mechanics of the death note

no. no normal person could intuit these mechanics. this answer 9 times out of 10 is gonna be a no, we've just been dealing with a lot of oustanding fictional detectives. makoto or futaba might notice that kira needs a name and a face. ren maybe, maybe, but it's not very likely given early game phantom thief (annrenryujimorgana) investigation tactics were literally completely useless running around fetchquesting scenes. ren sometimes has good ideas and is pretty insightful, but he makes more of an excellent watson, not a sherlock. this isn't really his forte. no one else is getting close. this isn't because i actually think makoto is a super smart detective type, it's just that the game always gives any deductive dialogue to her because the game has decided she's The Smart One and futaba is The Computer One and yusuke is The Art One etc etc etc, and smart at book means good at detective, and we honestly do not have time to go into all that bull shit.

once they ID light, further investigation into the metaverse + using futaba's skills might get them closer, but they wouldn't figure this out on their own.

could the phantom thieves identify light yagami

yes, but im saying this grudgingly. the phantom thieves' method of investigation drives me crazy. they identify madarame by breaking into his house, they (makoto) identify kaneshiro by demanding random thugs drive them to kaneshiro's house, they identify futaba by breaking into her house, they. hm

what im saying is they're gonna find light by getting very vaguely suspicious of him and then checking the metanav for his name. after they've got his name they'll be like a dog with a bone.

i think futaba would be able to use Fictional Hacker Abilities (where anything with a computer is possible) to work out that kira's been accessing the police databases and makoto/MAYBE ren might be able to work out from there that he's connected to the police. that might point them to light. once they get his name, they'll be able to question him in the metaverse to get the info about the death note mechanics.

could they survive (/ could they win)

im bundling these because both will depend on whether the pt are smart about this. if they do literally anything to tip light off (like breaking into his house) then they're all gonna die. also, to flip things a bit, if light works out that they're the phantom thieves, they are also gonna die, because as soon as they leave him a calling card he's gonna write their names. so it's all going to depend on whether they can change his heart before he becomes suspicious of them. if they manage to infiltrate his palace before he tries to kill them, they should make sure they're in the palace and lying in wait to grab the treasure before they leave the calling card. that way as soon as light reads the card they can get in and get out instead of giving light an entire battle's worth of time to write all their names down. but seeing as they literally never do that i do not think this is going to occur to them

to be honest. i think at least some of the phantom thieves are gonna die. they lack subtlety to a fatal degree. it is not difficult to figure out who they are. light has really any number of ways to work this out. manipulate and kill one of ren's confidants, utilise police contacts to see if there's a list of suspects, literally be in shibuya while the pt are at their 'hideout' (random walkway). i think at least some of them are gonna die unless they make up a really extremely stupid counter-gambit which works because of anime. can you tell im still bitter about some of the stupid shit that happens in this game

so yes i think they could change light's heart but i think at least a couple of thieves are gonna die about it

[pseudowho]

good afternoon from myself as a good evening to you, lovely haitch 🖤

i began watching the show Fleabag last night, and i don’t know if it’s because of the content of the show or because its ‘english’ (i throw this guess out, as an only mildly-multicultural american) but she reminded me a lot of you, especially down to the cadence and syntax of the way you write. i wanted to know if you knew about this show at all, and what you’re thoughts might be on it? (crossing my fingers you haven’t talked about it already)

i also wanted to ask about your works, and just vague questions about your own opinion on them - are there any you are particularly proud of and cheeky for? do you know the favorites of your friends/husband, or if they have one? do you reread some, or think about rewriting any in particular? what about content you might ache to write at some point?

you’re very introspective (to me, at least, mustn’t assume) and i take a lot of interest in hearing your opinions and thoughts on things. you’re a big inspiration and motivator for me to continue writing my book! feel free to skip over any questions you wish, im aware it was a lot. much love! <3

I do know of this show! I'm so sorry behind on TV, I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen Fleabag, even when I should have. I think it's Phoebe Waller-Bridge, off the top of my head, unless I'm very much mistaken. I promise you I'll have a watch, and see what I think.

R.e. my favourite cheeky fics...I adore Deliverance, Fire and Iron, Calamus et Gladius and The Stacks. My husband's favourite is Bedlocked, though he hasn't read many. None of my irl friends know that I do this, so that's a pass. Of my lovely Tumblr friends, perhaps @delirious-donna, @musubi-sama, @starsinmylatte and @self-aware-ape can answer which, if any, are their favourites if they wish.

I'm probably a bit too introspective. I try to take a multifaceted approach that strips away any ego I may have. It's hard, but it's cathartic.

Thank you so much for thinking I'm an inspiration. I just try to present myself as I am in person. I wish you the absolute best for your book; amazing job, keep writing, and I'm sure you're doing fucking brilliantly.

All my love,

-- Haitch xxx

[catholic-academia-aesthetic]

hello! i resort to this since I don't have access to a catholic church/guide to ask this type of things. So, here's whats happening: since i was little i always had this admiration towards the Virgin Mary, i always thought that she was beautiful and kind and nowdays i still do, she's like a mother figure for me. But, in the other hand, im extremely scared of God and Jesus. i dont know why, and i feel ashamed to confess it, but I don't feel the same safe and loved with the idea of them like i do with Mary.

Also, im a lesbian, and im even more afraid because of that since i know that religion usually has something against it.

Am I a sinner? Is there a way for me to be less scared of God and Jesus? only beliving in Mary is an actual religion?

Im sorry for bothering, but i really need to start beliving in something because my life is falling apart and i don't want to lose it all. Anyways, I hope this isn't uncomfortable, and i wiah you have a lovely day, afternoon or night! 🩷

hi, thank you for reaching out and sharing all this! I'm sad to hear your life is falling apart, that must be an awful feeling. I'm here for you for whatever it's worth.

There's a lot here so my anwer will obviously be a CliffsNotes version, full of shortcuts and simplifications.

First of all, of course you are a sinner. We all are. Every human in history apart from Mary and Jesus was a sinner. Every saint was a sinner.

I see that you feel close to the Virgin Mary, that her beauty and kindness speaks to you, you admire her. But it doesn't lead you to God, on the contary, you're very afraid of Him.

This makes me wonder where did you learn about Mary? How have you come to know the things that make you admire her? How did you learn she is kind and motherly? What were your sources? Was it genuine Catholic teaching, or maybe some private ideas passed on by someone you know?

Is the person you admire actually Mary, the Mother of God, or is it some vague idea of her built in your or someone else's imagination?

We Catholics admire Mary because of her devotion to God. We admire her courage in agreeing to be the Mother of God and her humility in raising her Son who was God. We admire her because Salvation was made possible through her response and sacrifice.

If you take God out of the picture, what is there left to admire about Mary? Without God there is no Salvation and all of her life choices look rather sad and uninspiring. She's a young woman who had a baby in weird circumstances, then watched him grow into a preacher to be mercilessly tortured and killed for nothing. What's admirable about that? Many women's children were unjustly persecuted but that doesn't make these women worth our admiration. Compassion, yes. But not admiration.

So if you don't want to know God and Jesus, if you're not interested in God's plan for your salvation and in Jesus' sacrifice to bring your salvation about - what do you admire about Mary? If you don't think she did all that for God - what was the point?

Obviously you can't answer me so I'm just leaving all these questions here for you to think about.

The answer to have these things sorted out is good Catholic teaching. It'll take some time, but to really love someone you need to first get to really know them. If you want to love Mary, you need to learn who she is. And if you learn she will eventually point you towards her Son, because that's what she always does. Start with Bishop Barron's videos on Mary on youtube. Word on Fire channel and website has tons of videos and articles to explore. Take a peak at the Catechism. Whatever you do, look for legitimate Catholic teaching, stick to the mainstream. If you learn enough about Mary you'll see Jesus in a new light. Let her lead you to Him.

On a completely different note, this can be a psychological issue. When you say you're 'extremely scared of God and Jesus' it makes me worried. These are very strong words and very strong feelings to be had about this. What makes you feel this? Did someone tell you God is scary and you should be afraid of Him when you were young? Is there something in your life that makes you afraid and distrustful of men in general? Is this a case of bad, fear-based religious teaching you were subjected to? Or is it a case of independent mental issues bleeding into your religious life? Sadly, both happen often and many people share these feelings with you.

If I was your friend, I would advise you to have that looked at by a psychologist-type person. If you're clear on that front you can move to learing and Marian theology with a peace of mind. Whether you decide to do the psychological consultation or not, I would also advise you to find a spiritual guide. It can be a priest but it can also be nun, I imagine that could make you feel more comfortable. If there aren't any where you live you can literally find 5 or 10 female religious orders online and just shoot them an email. Just copy what you wrote to me if you don't feel like writing an new message. Ask for help, guidance. Maybe you can go visit them for a few days. See what they say.

You can always message me, but in your difficult situation you need more support, you need irl people to help you through this. You need them to be smarter and better at this than I am. Again, thank you for sharing all this vulnerable stuff. I hope my answer was helpful. I will be praying for you through Mary's intercession!