#im very intrigued. tell me more about fireflies

[td-rarepairs]

fireflies… (this shipname is abt Lightning x Cameron x Dawn. I am not elaborating further)

.

[katsuumi]

Congratulations on 50 followers sweetheart!!! I haven't been following you for a long time, but I absolutely love your theme and I really hope I can get to know you more 😊😊

If you don't mind could I please get a bestie match up for JJK??

I've never seen anyone do a friend match up before and its really intriguing, I'm interested to see who I get, only if you want to though, you don't have to if you don't want to.

I don't really mind the gender, but a slight preference to male, but if you feel as though a female would be better than that's cool as well.

My favourite song of all time has to be either Home by BTS or Me and My Husband by Mitski and Fireflies by Owl City.

At the moment however I have Dandelions by Ruth B and Another love by Tom Odell stuck in my head.

As for personality im a very open person, very sarcastic to the point where my friends can't decide if I'm being sarcastic or not, also quite witty.

I love a good pun or play on words. I'd do anything for my friends like, anything.

I don't really have any incentives or motivation to do things for myself but if its for someone else I put my all in and do my very best.

I like to think I'm quite selfless as well. If I've known you for a long time then I can be very teasing.

That's how I show my love.

Oh and I have no idea who I think I'm going to get. Like honestly not a clue

Also I'll send in a separate ask with my face in it if you don't mind 😊

Yeah, thats about it really, thank you so so much for creating an event. Once again congratulations on 50 followers 🥳🥳

I hope that you have a lovely day and please please take care of yourself. Remember to put yourself and your mental and physical wellbeing first and make sure you're drinking enough water.

Take care love xxx 😘😘

🍧 ## — N0T3S :: WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SO SWEET ILY <3 tysm for participating in the event !! AND PLS YOU’RE GORGEOUS AND I’M NOT JUST BEING NICE- also, can i just say your music taste is *chef's kiss* pls enjoy !

. . . YOU'RE JJK BESTIE IS ::

## GOJO SATORU  !!

— ok ok, here me out !! i was going to choose megumi, but then i realized he may be your friend, but not your best friend... you know? 

— megumi would love to be around you, but when you spend time together it wouldn’t be half as fun as when you spend time with satoru. ( sorry megs )

— when you too spend time together you'll never get bored of the terribly bad and corny jokes you tell each other and he loves that you give off this witty energy every time you go out together

— best believe you guys can sit there and rock out to BTS and mitski together

— you will spend your days getting lowkey flirting ( in a platonic way, of course ) and you both can find joy in just listening to each other speak <3

— satoru can definitely learn a few things from you when it comes to being selfless and perhaps he will !! 

— you’re both incredibly intelligent and that helps with the bonding, just like you, satoru’s playful yet intelligent, he has a reputation of figuring out his enemies' plans with barely any information. sometimes you guys will get into debates, but that’s great because you’re both given a chance to exercise your effortlessly quick wit. learning about each other’s opinions and personality.  

— he is a hard entp and will give you loyalty and both needed + unneeded emotional support. more often than not, he’ll understand you and know exactly what you need in times of need. him wanting to argue all the time helps because now, he’s very familiar with how you communicate and knows exactly how to get through to you.

feel free to reblog !!

runner ups !

megumi f.

nobara f.

[alicemitch09writes]

beguiled (teaser)

People wouldn’t believe him if he told them that he had once met a cat that he wasn’t allergic to. Now, how could they? They weren’t there. Nor did they see just him happily intrigued by the creature with beguiling (eye colour) irises that drew him in.

But he was sure of it, that it happened and that it wasn’t fake.

Back then, he remembered playing with his best friend – Steven, and his sister, Rebecca.

They were running around the castle grounds, happily chasing the other.

But growing up in a castle can be suffocating, especially when you have walls up so high that you can’t see beyond the walls, walls that remind you of your place, keeping you away from all the wonders of the world.

However, life beyond the castle walls was something that he was supremely curious about and absolutely longed to sought after and sees.

And so, curiosity got to him – a trait that was his best and worst at the time, leading him and his best friend and sister to trick the guards, allowing them to slip right under their noses.

Together, the three ran as fast and as far as they could, feeling free with the wind against their skin, and the grass against their skin and clothes.

Finally, away from the castle, the children found themselves in a wide plain full of lush greens, wildflowers, and a grand view of the Great Lake. Racing towards it, they quickly picked up some rocks and began skipping, challenging the other.

They skipped for a while, Becca proving to best her brother and friend, when something caught his eye – a forest, on the edge of the land. Quickly, he got himself out of the water and headed towards it, Steve and Becca on his heels.

As he approached, he couldn’t help but feel drawn to its very presence. A thick cove of trees, tall and thick like the tower walls, yet more threatening as it seemed to loom deeper in, and if he looked closer, he swore he could feel life into it.

“Let’s go check it out!” he invited the two, not waiting for their reply and dashing straight in.

Steve and Becca, however, just stood back, scared and unsure of the forest before them. They’ve heard tales from maids, tales that frightened young nobles like them.

He, however, wanted to test that theory.

So, the more he fed into his curiosity, the sooner he found himself deep into the woods, Steve and Becca no longer by his side nor in sight.

Eventually, he realized, he was lost within the underbelly of the forest,

He was running around in circles, probably, for about an hour or two. And he was beginning to get tired.

There were far too many tales about the weird and absurd in this very forest, tales about trolls, monsters, and strange beings that lurk around. Surely, no place for a young noble like him. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so brave anymore. Suddenly, he felt weak and scare-

Crack.

His heart stopped at that, looking around wildly.

With the skies yawning, the darkness lurked around and trapped him in - defenseless, alone, and in danger.

All of a sudden, something gleamed in the darkening forest. A bright twin lights that seemed to call out to him - slowly coming to focus.

Before he knew it, he found himself staring at a cat. A big, black cat with beguiling eyes.

As much as he liked cats, unfortunately, he was deathly allergic to them.

However, as he placed a hand to his chest, he found that he was breathing just fine. His sinuses were clear, and he didn’t feel like he was choking in its very presence.

The creature tilted its head at him, almost curious, eyes not blinking once.

Reaching out a tentative hand, the cat instantly jerked its head back, as if afraid.

Bucky stopped, realizing his approach. Lowering his hand, he presented out his hand before it, like how Steve would do.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.” He tells it, with a small assuring smile.

Its ears perked at that, blinking once. His hand was still stretched out, the creature still stared blankly. Seeing its passiveness, he was just about to bring his hand back when the cat leaned over and sniffed his hand, deeming him worthy and allowed his fingers to trail over its dark fur.

Laughing breathlessly, relieved even, he began running his fingers over it.

“You’re a gentle little fella, aren’t ya?”

The small thing let out a gentle purr, its fur surprisingly soft and silky, smelling almost like milk and oats. All the tension and fear that he had felt, faded away.

Suddenly, the cat hopped off the branch it was lying on, landing just a few feet before him.

Bucky stared after it. The cat stared back and started to walk off.

“Hey, wait!” He called out, following after.

With every step it took, the distance growing bit by bit, it always made sure to look back.

Unbeknownst to him were the small flicker of light that illuminated the way, as though helping him out. He didn’t notice them at first, not wanting to lose the cat. When he did though, he thought they were fireflies.

Except, fireflies didn’t look like balls of fire, or conjured out of nowhere. Approaching one, he was tempted to see if it was really made up of some sort of fire before the cat yowled out to him.

Blinking once, before turning around, but not moving, turning its head back to him. Waiting.

He looked at the strange fire in front of him, then at the cat, before deciding to drop his hand and follow after the cat.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘im coming, hold on.”

Seemingly satisfied, the cat began to walk ahead. Bucky took a chance to peek behind him, but it was gone. Only when he looked back to the trail did he find more of them.

The cat, unbothered by the strange ball of flames, seemed to bring him deeper in the woods, turning its head back time to time as if to check if he was keeping up, leaves and twigs crunching with every step.

Then, it began to speed up.

“Hey, wait!” he called out to it, but it hastened its pace. “Please, wait!” twigs and branches thwacked at him, scratching his skin and clothes, but the cat did not stop one bit. “Wait for me!” Leaves began to get in his hair, the more he followed the feline, not that he was ever aware of such. “Hold on, you-“

“BUCKY!” a familiar voice called before he found himself wrapped in skinny arms, joined later by another set of arms wrapped around the two boys. “Bucky…”

Coming to, he found himself by the lake, just close to the castle, and in the arms of his best friend and his sister.

“Steve...Becca…”

When he looked back, the cat was gone.

When he told Steve and Becca of what happened, none of them believed him.

Because, first and foremost, he was terribly allergic to cats. Second, there’s no way there’d be a cat with – in his words, ‘beguiling (eye colour) eyes’.

... 

"I met a prince today.”

“Really!?”

“Pfft, yeah right.”

“I did!”

“Really? How can you tell it was a prince?”

“W-Well, he was wearing some fancy clothes, clothes that only them royals wear.”

“Did he have a crown?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Did he have a sword?”

“No! He was just a kid, our age, Pietro!”

“Was he handsome?”

“Ugh, Wanda please…”

“He was beautiful. He had soft-looking hair, like every strand was made of silk. And he had the prettiest eyes.”

"Like jewels?"

"Yes! Like the finest sapphire, aquamarine...or lapis!"

“Ugh, you two are gross.”

"Pietro, shut up!"

“So, did you talk to him?”

“Uh…no, I didn’t get the chance.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Well, I was a cat.”

[youmeanlove]

all of them for yusuke !!!!!!!!!

SCREAMS thank you SO much im bout to end this mans (my wish to keep answers short) whole career 

update: sorry this took so long i decided to become a novelistKJF LITERALLY its so long thank you soooo much for sending this ask i had a field day

fresh mown grass: what is your f/o’s favorite scent? does it remind them of anything specific?

paint is the obvious answer so ofc that but he rly likes the smell of a smoked out kitchen. probably because thats what happens every time he tries to experiment w food but it still makes him happy to hav fun with it

pastel sunrise: what was your f/o’s first impression of you? yours of them?

hehehe…he thought i dressed really weirdJFJF he was like one part intrigued one part ‘wtf ew’ but either way boy did he stare at me! for like, minutes straight because he has no self awareness. once we started talking he thought i was um..like, inspiring i guess. that sounds conceited but he just thought i was a cool ‘care-free’ model of life! i thought umm..he was very tall and kind of intimidating! i felt bad because the other students shunned him for being involved with his mentor nd thought he could do with like, literally any social interaction. i thought he was really kind, despite being very straightforward w everything! OH and i thought it was admirable how focused on his passions he was

blooming flowers: what is your f/o’s favorite part of nature? do they even have one?

the ocean!!!! we went to the beach once and he went ape over how the moon looked reflecting over the water

four leaf clover: does your f/o have any good luck charms or superstitions? do you? do the two of you share any?

yusukes really superstitious actually! unlucky words/numbers and stuff like that. one time he broke a comb on accident and threw it across the room lmao. we both go absolutely ham and wont sleep w/ our heads to the north bc we dont feel like dying young

ocean breeze: have you and your f/o ever traveled together? what is your dream vacation?

hoyah! we dont travel because we’re both poor ass art students but we do go to the park a lot! theres some really pretty ones near the schools so we’ll go stare at geese and flowers n stuff! we talk a lot about traveling to spain bc sexy

lemonade stand: what is your f/o’s favorite beverage? and yours?

yusuke my mans rly likes lemonade but like when its kinda bitter? he doesnt like really sweet foods but lemonade and tea are 👌👌. i really like cola uwu

fireflies: how do you light up your f/o’s life?

hehHEHE U///U show that boy how to have fun!! let himself go and chill out sometimes!! he’s always so hard on himself and i help him remember that he doesn’t need to be so focused and stressed all the time anymore!! lov that guy

music festival: what is your favorite type of music? your f/o’s? any overlap between your favorite genres?

yusuke likes chill out music like classical and stuff because hes a NERD and it helps him focus on work! i’m a speedcore rat. we both like swing music because we’re gay

pumpkin latte: what is your guilty pleasure as a couple? 

sometimes we drink juice out of the carton and put it back in the fridge because like who has time for cups..nasty nasty. also idk if this counts but we’ll take those stupid buzzfeed quizzes for like an hour and judge our results OH we stan ‘accidetally’ falling asleep in our day clothes bc we were too tired to change

costume shop: do you wear couples’ halloween costumes? what’s your favorite thing the two of you have ever gone as?

HELL YEAH WE DOOOOO yusuke was like dude remember that time i turned into a mouse can i dress up like a mouse and you dress up as a giant block of cheese and i was like (slaps the desk) absolutely babe

cozy sweater: how does your f/o make you feel secure and safe?

ahejegfahjkgehaheehaejh tall. hes vv straightforward to every1 so i know he’ll always have my back if someone does something to upset me! and he’s always like Bro You Are So Beautiful Dont Ever Say You Arent Bro I Love You Bro except he doesnt say bro ofc hes Fancy

bonfire: what’s one thing your f/o has done to warm your heart?

ONE TIM OH one time he told me that i was one of the few ppl that never rly seemed like i judged him for not being very good at social stuff and that it made him want to talk to even more ppl and like get his childhood back and im :”) also one time he let me hide a stray cat in his dormKJF

ski slope: do you and your f/o play any sports or do any athletic activities together?

lol no we both have an iron deficiency we dont do anything about. we do like to play hand clappy games a lot tho he can beat my ass in slide

snowball fight: how do you and your f/o playfully tease each other?

HONESTLYFKJF we dont tease each other that much bc like. yusuke literally doesnt understand teasing most of the time and i cant bring myself to risk hurting his feelings! i jokingly made fun of his emo bang once and he was like What Is My Hair Bad Should I Get It Cut Do You Not Like It and i was like OH NOOOO!! he doesnt rly know how to tease either but its okay we just compliment each other a lot! no room for teasing in this house

gift wrap: what’s the best present your f/o has ever given you? what’s their favorite present they’ve gotten from you?

OH MY GOSH eheh one time he gave me a winter coat and that sounds lame but it was the best thing to ever happen to me bc i had been talking for like 3 weeks abt how gosh darn cold it was and this poor fool bought me a whole coat!!! raaaaaa!! yusukes fave present i bought him would probably be okay this also sounds silly but a dvd player! he kept buying dvds that were interesting and then realizing that he couldnt watch them anywherejkhf

rosy cheeks: tell us about a time your f/o has made you blush!

hehHEHEEJH okay so at lunch we used to trade so that id give him like food and hed draw me something bc his foster dad be like (whips and dabs) financial abuse but anyway his sketches used to be like scenic stuff or still life or random stuff he happened to see outside while we ate but then one time he gave me a sketch of me!! and was like cause u looked rly nice today i had to draw it and BOYYY WHEN I SAY A BITCH WAS RED!!!!!!!

OKAYFKJF I WROTE WAY TOO MUCH THANK U SO MUCH LEGEND im in love with an anime boy

[fadedstarlight]

the stars will sing for you, one day. hope is what dreamers rely upon, so don’t lose it. even if it means the end of everything you know.

a crumpled tee shirt, plastered directly to her face. an exhausted arm brushes it aside with a disgruntled moan, the moan of someone who was having a terribly nice dream and was woken up by the most inconsiderate rays of morning grace. thanks, morning, she mutters to herself. comforter pushed aside, beads of sweat rolling off the bangs matted to her temples, may allows her body the respite of cool floorboards, chilling her aching body. wait, why is my body aching? where is my home? where am i? startled eyes, dizzy from the relentless waves of heat, burst open with fervor known only to the insane and the driven. there were a lot of questions, of course. that’s human nature. staring up at the ceiling, a small fan twirls daintily. this isn’t right, she keeps saying to herself. this can’t be right.

no answers can be fulfilled lying face-up on the floor, so in a flurry of movement, may was upright at last. tenatively, she made out the visage of fate that lay before her:

a half-eaten pizza. thrown lazily over a laptop.

why is there a pizza here?! i don’t even like pizza!

may took this opportunity of pure speculative confusion to observe the furnishings around her– a bed with no frame, laid at the end of the room with pastel flowers adorning the comforter; a small, yet thoughtful rug that looked incredibly soft if layed upon, if there weren’t a black cat sitting directly in the center of it, enjoying the sun; a desk with the aforementioned pizza laptop at the other end of the room; and a communist flag pinned to the wall with two small knives.

cool.

i need to find a fan.

PROLOGUE

1 maybe this is the beginning of something new.

maybe this is the end of something ancient.

maybe this simply is.

2 she can’t do it alone.

be strong, may. be strong. run fast, head high, legs pumping– as long as you are going away from what you once were. that, dear, was a fate worse than death.

i don’t think death itself envies you, to be honest.

3 if you keep walking, maybe eventually possibly you can wake up from this and it will all be better.

but you know, you can’t outrun fate.

fate has its own tendrils that operate on their own terms and own laws and own everything and it doesn’t give a shit if it hurts you. because it has a job. and it’s doing a pretty great job at that job, and it probably doesn’t like that job but it doesn’t have a choice because its fate bosses tell it to do that job or else it’ll lose its fate job in its fate cubicle making a fate wage so it can feed its fate family. and they have their own fates, too, forcing them into this fate paradox that never seems to pause or contemplate why it does that, as if that too has a fate that it was predestined for.

my head hurts,

i really need some coffee. when was the last time i had something to drink? it was a day ago, probably. it’s not like, out here, i have much to go off of in terms of resources. if the winter chill nipping at my fingertips could be as filling as they are annoying, i’d never have to eat or drink anything again. now i’m hungry too. i am kind of wandering the wilderness, so i suppose i’m not too surprised. but i still am. in an apathetic kind of way. like, i will be conscious of what is happening, think to myself, oh, well i should do something about this, and never actually act upon it. even now i feel like im just watching a movie of someone else who just so happens to be traversing the alaskan landscape in search of something that isn’t there, wondering what their motivations are. gnawing on popcorn, sucking down heaven’s nectar and in the calming embrace of separate souls, lapping up the emotional buffet such a connection offers to one so malnourished. certainly sounds good right about now.

but i’ve accepted that, after about the nineteenth mile of uninterrupted walking, i understood that my entire existence was to never be ‘good’. good is the term that people never meant for anything say to quantify their meaningless lives by trying to find purpose in purposeless things. they have to do something for 80 years before they kick the bucket, right? grass doesn’t have things to look forward to, to aspire to be, to discuss, yet here it is, frozen and pale in the face of winter’s countenance, tenderly caressing its neck with its white-hot temptation. and grass doesn’t hurt anybody, either. all grass ever did was be green and be eaten by things who like hurting other things. grass has feelings, too, but no one cares. because it’s grass. and we are people, but honestly, we’re so much worse than grass. grass deserves more good its life than we have ever had. grass hasn’t killed other grasses. grass just wants to be the best grass it can be and it tries so fucking hard to be that. its grass parents must be so proud of it.

i wish i were grass.

4 stars wink at me sometimes. their flirtatious personalities are intoxicating, which makes it all the more heartbreaking when i realize the distance between them and i. i wish i could be up there with them, and succumb to their allure, be subject to the countless stories and thoughts, their transcendental banter, their flaws and fears and fate all lined up for me to gorge upon with all senses in wide-eyed stupor. the stars have their qualms about the universe too, i’m sure. but to be a celestial body must have its perks, too. for one, you never have to worry about not having enough time. you’re the largest measurer of time, only trumped in its universal dominance by the ones who set them there at all. also, you’re friends with other stars, whether they like it or not. your galaxy would be, essentially, a set of unbreakable friendships. you’re all orbiting each other, invariably destined to meet in a cataclysmic reuniting. it’s poetic: tragic and moving and short-lived yet unmistakably important to those involved, for they are foreverchanged with unmistakablelove. those were books i was writing on before i began this wandering journey into eternal oblivion. i doubt they’ll get finished, but it’s the fact that i tried at all that makes it powerful.

5 now, as i wrap my cardigan around my knees and crush the life out of these frozen leaves with my weight it must bear, i contemplate the purpose of my existence as an individual among individuals. is it true that some are destined to live in the solitary confinement of their shadow, as a mere instrument of mimicry? that is all i have become. to serve the whims of another, willing to destroy the whole of my being just to catch another glimpse of him, to prove i have life worth living, pulsing throughout my chest. but now i sit, cracked, with my split soul, breathing life into these leaves, similarly cracked, and similarly dead, and similarly subservient to me. this is hope leaving my body. i can feel its warmth pour in drops at first, yet slowly collecting into a technicolor pool, paled slightly by my tears added to the mixture. i like pastels anyway.

it has been pouring since the encounter. whatever it touches lives again. my goal is to find the man. and hug him. and let the torrent of tears stain his jacket, and my soul to drench him in his ignorance, to heal him, for he is the broken one, not i. i am not cruel. i am not beyond help. neither is he. no one is evil. he is confused. i am confused. we are confused. i will heal him.

6 you ever have those dreams that seemingly go on for decades, that build their own narratives and relationships and struggles that become all the more important than your own as you reside within them for those few brief hours of rest? where you remember every detail of your fictional love’s morning routine, as it was your favorite part of waking up, watching them dance while brushing their teeth, and sing in the shower way too loud letting yourself join in and not caring about the fact that both sound like a duet of cats dying in the rhythm of california gurls? where you remember the pain of losing imaginary loved ones, those ones whom your entire being was poured into, that made you the best fictional person you could possibly be. where you wake up in tears because you died crying, in a hospital bed, not sure what would be on the other side, and it just so happens to be that this actual, tangible life was the alternative, even though you would probably prefer a legitimate death without this purposeless, lifeless existence you actually inhabit being a purgatory for the next 60 years. those dreams have been appearing to me more and more recently, and i’m sure there’s a reason for their occurrences. maybe its because of this crisp wilderness air constantly barraging me with endless strokes of its mighty wind, or the fact that i haven’t seen another person in three days, or eaten in almost two, or the fact that i’m kind of disintegrating before my very eyes. the puddle my heart has left keeps a nice warm patch on the ground where the grass has been reborn, but aside from that i am cold. very cold. i can see some lights in the distance, kind of like a hazy sea of distant fireflies, gracefully following their own solo lines while maintaining the integrity of the whole symphony simultaneously. it’s rather pretty. if it weren’t for this hypnotic flurry of flickering, i would pass it. but i am intrigued. what stories will lie here, who knows. i can only pray they will leave me more answers than questions.

7 as my eyelids rush to meet each other as soon as those faint, flickering lights form distinct rectangles, i find myself feeling oddly at peace with everything. as i give in to gravity and the earth whispers my name, may, may, lay your weary head upon my shoulder and allow me to bear your burden, all things become so very obvious. alike the situation that placed me here, skull against skin against upturned earth, i succumb to alluring temptation once more, with the knowledge that my limbs, although leaden, have lead me farther in this time alone than they ever had in the life i lead before, and that was a comforting thought. maybe this all was a worthwhile endeavor, as the crash of footstep berates my sensitive ears with their screeching calls.

if i had known he would be the stars, and the grass, and the earth, and all other things, maybe i wouldn’t have come here. it’s all intertwined, there’s no escaping this or that or anything or nothing because even absence leaves a gaping hole in my chest that leaks out like a starving child begging for sustenance, as tears flow and fears grow and lives are snuffed out, one by one. i would rather take their place, there. some of those starving people who will never have a chance could have a chance if i allowed them to have it. i’ve wasted my life, on things that never really mattered or cared, but they could have done something amazing, gone on to change the world forever, instead of having the soul sucked out of them as life pours out of their eyes like tears so similar. i wonder if anyone feels the same way about me, that i could be something great if i were only capable of and given the chance. i think about that a lot. the possibility of something else, of renewal, of happiness. it’s simply a thought, but it’s a thought worth thinking of.

8 i was asleep for a day, i was asleep for a thousand days. time is a petty quandary anyhow.

what was true was the tears – millions upon millions of tears begotten by the tortures of millions upon millions of demons locked away in one solitary skull. sleep was never my friend; sleep never attended birthday parties or called late at night to make sure arteries were intact or laughed at dumb jokes or anything like that. sleep was the listless vixen that cloyed at my mind, always tempting me to the brink of exhaustion but ever allowing me to partake, never allowing me anything but the utter agony of lack of control. but this was especially horrid, as the role had been reversed. now lady list had her tendrils firmly secured, her jaw relentlessly locked on my consciousness. left to her mercy once more, the agony poured from my eyes in steamy globs one after another as the pain throbbed in my temples because the temple of solitude within my mind had been breached ad neverendum. i was forced to play out the pain of my past as her poison passed through my porous brain, a catalyst for the horrors of the may that once experienced them to be rejuvenated with enthralled vigor once more. i was worse than dead. it should have left me there, to die in my own pity, convulsing and confused and scared. but that would be too convenient. eventually, her poison drained from the wounds i had inflicted myself, numerous and agonizing in their own right. i had to. it was required. i couldn’t stand the thought of it all anymore. you can only handle so much.

we’re only human.

well, most of us.

9 my eyes, shrouded with glistening stars that swirled around nauseously as i took in my surroundings, danced across this unfamiliar environment. scuttling feet enveloping my senses, in all senses but sight: no matter how hard i tried to focus on the brittle tile that sent shivers cascading through my body, no clarity ever emerged. i was left with a vague sense of the location i was residing within: the floor of a tavern. freezing, filthy. i was apparently dragged inside with no real thought as to my condition or situation: for if these fumbling buffoons were to realize the seriousness of my predicament they would surely be healing my every wound and bowing their head to the bobbing of mine, attempting to raise my upper body. neither of these conclusions were to be fully realized, though i thought myself a queen for a time: to control all things with but a mere breath, to flaunt one’s ability and status with crooning grace and fullness; capable of destroying the lives of those around me but being empathetic enough to allow their lives sustenance for another day, and letting the reaper grow thin and his scythe rusty due to my own diligence. i would be the master of mortality, able to move any single, simple soul to accomplish this countenance’s humble requests. one could actually compare these actions to those of

UP. AWAKE,. I, I FEEL, COLD. . WHERE IS MY HEART? ? IT’S BEEN BLEEDING ALL OVER THIS DAMNED FLOOR. MUDDYING UP THE BOOTS OF THOSE UNACCUSTOMED TO SUCH LOWLY TRIBULATIONS THAT ONE OF MY OWN STATURE MUST ENDURE. SO SORRY, , MADAME, MISTER, I SHALL ALL AT ONCE CLEAN MY PLACE AND PERSON AS TO BE AS TRIFLING OF A INCONVENIENCE AS POSSIBLE, I MOST WHOLEHEARTEDLY ASSURE YOU THIS IS COMMONPLACE FOR PEOPLE WITH ISSUES SUCH AS MINE OH YES PLEASE DONT TOUCH IT YOU’LL BURN YOURSELF. YOU’LL BE DAMAGED. WHYA RE YOU STARING/? AT ME LIKE HTAT? OH I MUST HAVE BEEN INTRUSIVE MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES I SHALL PACK MY BELONGINGS AND GO PLEASE SIR FINE SIR MOVE ASIDE, ,,, WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE, UNMOVING AND UNBLINKING AS IF THE WORLD HAS NEVER GRACED YOU WITH AN IMMOVABLE BEAUTY SUCH AS I? HOW RUDE OF YOU, I SHALL

run run run. run. run run? run, yes, yet my legs waver and mind shakes at the onset of actuality. this is not good. i must change course, find solace in the upstairs rooms, where i will surely pay for my intrusion into somehow. these awestruck peoples have been stagnant since my arousal, how peculiar– and this is coming from me! each step is as if my whole soul is to be thrust into the heat of a battle, and each cell inside my body are the unwavering yet unwilling soldiers who understand their demise is necessary and inevitable in order to protect those who admonish them on home soil as their greed stockpiles as quickly as complacency grows. i have been here for hours, it seems, attacking these cursed slopes that haunt my every movement, as i clamor up their taunting, unnervingly pearl-white faces. my chest heaves and my screams are apparent, but they are wholly necessary for the process at work here: yet still oblivious onlookers seem more interested in the past than present. the solid oak door moans as loudly as i: please, come inside me, come in and never leave, you are mine and always was. i was always one to give into temptation. the door swings with greased hinges, carrying me as momentum forces me to land on the bed directly in front of m-

ow. now i’m unconscious again, aren’t i? who knows how long i’ll be trapped in here. it’s pretty rank, too. i never much cared for it. i’d trade it out for a new one in a moment if i were able to, but those sorts of things are only what can come true in fantasy, and not reality, this reality of cracked and flowing hearts and polished white floors and hungry doors waiting to consume their next meal. this is reality. and i try so hard to convince myself that yes, reality is something worth fighting for, and here i am, at its mercy once again.

at least the floor is warm now.