#im very good at it though . like Mario Kart but if i press on the peddle at all i floor it 100 mph and die

[heartbeatbookclub]

inspired by the crying headcanons ask, how do you think the girls are like when angry? we do kind of see some of them get infuriated sometimes in the side stories but im curious if you have any extra thoughts on it

I'm just going to kinda rapid fire this because I don't like it sitting here, but I've been too busy and in a weird headspace to really take the time for it. If this ends up malformed or weird, I apologize. I've done a bit of thought on it though

Sayori generally keeps herself on an even keel. It's hard to really piss her off with anything which would typically anger someone, because she has a general kill them with kindness mindset (and if you do something like insult her, or try to start shit, she's more likely to assume that she's doing something wrong, so she'll beat herself up instead). That said, she does have her pet peeves (like when someone leaves the water on while brushing their teeth! you aren't using that right now, you're just wasting water!), and she does have certain buttons you probably shouldn't press.

Namely, Sayori really values other people, especially those close to her, and places a lot of trust in them. To be honest with her, to be good people, and to take care of themselves. If you fail the latter two, she will be disappointed with you, and maybe even a little angry dependent on the circumstance and how she learns about it. That disappointment hurts a lot worse, though. Of course, when it comes to taking care of yourself, she understands how that could be difficult, and will help you as much as she can, but she really wants you to value yourself as much as she does.

The former of the three, she'll get angry. Sayori isn't the type to go shouting mad (well, unless she's getting mad at mario kart or something), or the type to really share strong words. She's got that tranquil fury down pat. If you do something you know she won't be happy with, that's one thing. If you lie about it to her face, and take advantage of her trust, she'll take some time apart from you. She'll push you away until she can calm down and really think about how she wants to respond. She's not one to hold grudges; revenge isn't her forte, but when she faces that kind of betrayal, it's really hard for her to look at someone the same way.

Monika can be very passive aggressive. Yknow, that kind of backhanded, half-sarcastic passive aggressive. As a side effect of being a people-pleaser, Monika is averse to conflict generally, and would prefer to seek a more reasonable compromise in any given situation as opposed to some blow-out confrontation, and absent that, when she gets aggravated, she tries to be civil, but ends up being cattier than she intends.

If it does end up escalating to a more serious argument, if tensions are running high, Monika feels very uncomfortable. She's not one to escalate into a shouting match, she's not the type to start peppering her speech with colorful language adding with rage, she tries to keep herself under control as much as she can.

Still, she might slip up. And losing that control makes her feel even worse about it, makes her more emotional in general, and when she gets to that point, I think she'd probably say something she might regret. Definitely has moments where she cries from how angry she is about something, and realizes she needs to take a walk to get away from the situation.

Yuri tends to be strongly opinionated, but about some strange and specific things. She tries to keep from voicing these opinions when they aren't asked for or needed, just to keep everything smooth socially, but if asked, she will be blunt about her thoughts even while trying to be polite, because if they want her honest opinion, then being honest, she does feel that bluntly about it. The fact that she doesn't let on until asked makes it feel harsher than it actually is.

Yuri generally tries to keep herself under control in a similar vein to Monika, except that rather than trying to use some sort of conflict resolution, she prefers to just leave it as is. Just stop talking about it, maybe leave, whatever. Of course, she feels so strongly about her view and that it's correct that sometimes her mouth moves before her brain, and she feels the need to get the last word in, which often escalates the situation.

Yuri gets pretty easily overwhelmed emotionally, and her strong feelings about a given topic can quickly bubble over and force her to act in certain off-putting ways before she even realizes what she's doing or saying. She has a tendency to start yelling, to start saying a lot more hurtful things and use more caustic language generally. Without a mediator, she's wont to get into a loop of just continual anger and have it just ruin her day. Of course, after that, if she really thinks about it, she regrets it completely and feels terrible. (Unless they actually deserve it. Even then, she might think she could've gone about it better...)

That habit of bottling it up also has a tendency to create some outbursts if things become too overwhelming, though that's more likely to result in a combination of this sort of behavior and what I described when talking about them crying. That's da dawg in her ('tism)

Natsuki tends to be reflexively angry, or reflexively mean at the very least. I've talked about this at length before, but she pushes people away in general and tries to harden herself wholly so that nobody can ever hurt her. I've dwelt for a while on what I think that actually means about her life (namely her home life) but you can read my thoughts on that elsewhere.

She's got a tendency to just complain about a lot of different stuff which annoys her or makes her uncomfortable. She makes no secret of her opinions or thoughts on any variety of things, which might get her into trouble in some circumstances, but generally she's just very opinionated without much dedicated thought to it.

If you really get her going though, she has a lot of smart-mouthed comebacks and sharp barbs to lob back and forth. Also she starts swearing a lot more. She does her best to come out on top by keeping her anger in check, but she definitely indulges in it a fair bit. Sometimes too much. Sometimes she gets overwhelmed, and when she gets really, really mad, she also definitely starts crying, and she moreso than anyone finds that really embarrassing, because it's a sign of weakness in that kind of scenario.

[hollypies]

HI HOLLY I DIDN'T PLAY SKY TODAY I MADE A DRAGON INSTEAD IG YOU WANNA SEE IT OOPS????? ANYWAY THE OUTFIT IS VERY GENDER I LOVE IT IT'S SO CUUUTEEEE GONNA PLAY W YOU SOON!!!

OMG ME.... GENDERED.....

Also YESSSSSA SHKW ME THE DRAGON !!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

An yeah I hope we get to play together soooon agh agh agh!!

[rockyteriyaki]

TEAM BUILDING ACTIVITIES 👯

s/o to @powerful-owl for starting this meme and @disarmd for the insanely funny contribution, it’s such a delightful thought exercise! here’s my attempt:

MASCOTS!

american sports have hella mascots, so every team is tasked to create a marketable mascot that could represent them for u.s fans. they also have to build a little model to pitch the concept. there’s the williams whale sharks. the aston martin martinis. lando and oscar devise a walking papaya named penny who looks so much like a vulva oscar backs out almost instantly.

GUESS THE GRID based on clothing choices: drivers assemble an outfit they’d wear and then everyone else tries to guess who picked what. the catch is that the f1a girls did the same challenge and their answers are mixed in as well. everybody thinks doriane’s mercedes-themed picks are george’s and maya gets confused for charles even though there’s no ferrari branding to be seen. chloe’s picked a haas cap with a black skirt and we watch nico hulkenberg go through every emotion known to man trying to figure out why kevin would—???

(meanwhile the academy grid is absolutely ripping everybody’s style choices to shreds, accusing hamda of being the most basic bitch on the planet bc max chose to wear basketball shorts, etc)

PADDOCK SCAVENGER HUNT

5 teams are in on it and the other 5 can’t know what’s going on, otherwise they lose points. charles pretends that he’s too tired to walk when pierre catches him searching the top of a cabinet on carlos’ shoulders. oscar distracts williams while lando tries to get a picture of logan with red, white and blue objects in the background. yuki gets stranded on top of the rbr motorhome because daniel won’t stop using him for reconnaissance and the whole thing gets called off because max sees them squabbling on the roof and thinks the rapture has arrived.

GEORGE AND ALEX MAKE GRAPHICS

ib george’s natural talent for graphic design. the audience gets to see what a communications team actually does in motorsport (educational!) and george and alex get free reign of the entire library of press photos of eachother. george is hunting for a terrible picture of alex to edit onto a podium but ends up having a very verbal crisis about how none of the pap shots are appropriately bad and then spends the next half an hour digging himself into theeee deepest hole talking about how it’s just not as FUNNY if alex looks TOO GOOD on the podium! it would be UNFAIR! alex is squirming and trying to remember where tf he was planning on going with this zoomed-in great-gatsby-esque picture of george’s eyelids on his screen right now. george silently edits alex’s teeth out of his mouth and tries to erase the fact that he just called alex handsome like 47 times.

MARIO KART SIM RACING

im talking full immersion. sherbet land is ice fucking cold. every time they drive over some kind of giant clock or railroad or something the sim porpoises like a jackhammer. someone is standing behind them with a full tank of water for the splash sections. there’s a legitimate epilepsy warning at the start of the video. bowser puts the fear of god into lando norris.

MAX AND DANIEL DO TEMPORARY TATTOOS

i’m hesitant to allow them access to a bowl of water but i have an extremely clear vision of daniel slapping tats all over the blank spaces on his skin to the point where they overlap and he’s just got shiny plasticky tattoo skin everywhere. max would find this unappealing and also stupid until he realizes all the fake tattoos on his side of the table are replicas of daniel’s actual ones. cut to: daniel with a snake tattoo stuck in his eyebrow hairs hiking his shorts up so max can mirror the placement on his own inner thigh. daniel resembling a concussed post malone, watching max’s careful application of the ‘3’ tattoo. max does a horrible aussie accent and daniel looks like a chimpanzee seeing its own reflection for the first time. cinema.

[apricotgojo]

hello love! Can I please request a somewhat spicy sub!chat noir x reader? Maybe where the reader is kinda feeling him up and leaving him hickeys and he’s a purring and moaning mess? Maybe he’s begging her to keep going and who is she to say no to such a sweet baby kitty? If that’s not too much of course😌 tysm

Hello bb ! I hope that this satisfied your sub! Chat needs hehe (i know it satisfied mine so) I really love how this came out and maybe i’m willing on continuing another part from here) Thank you so much for this request ! <3

Pairing: Chat Noir X Reader

Warnings: NSFW, characters are aged up in college here :), swearing.

Tags: Sub!chat, Dry humping, begging.

This is how it all went down. He saved you from an akumatized villain. He flirted. You flirted back. Then you guys started hooking up.

You didn’t understand why Chat Noir would do this with a civilian but like every other person on this planet, he has his needs. He would knock in a pattern on your window so you knew it was him and you would let him in, you’d talk for a bit, ask each other about your day until one of you breaks and pushes the other on the bed or against the wall. He was good in bed. Very good. You knew you’d never grow tired of this affair. To top it all off after you both finished you’d sit in bed and talk about all sorts of things. Aliens, Conspiracy theories about the media, gossip about people and sometimes he’d even play Mario Kart with you.

There were no strings attached. You both made it clear from day one. There couldn’t be. You both didn’t have the time for a relationship, you both didn’t have the energy for one so you simply stuck to the title ‘fuck buddies’ until one of you decides to back out. This night was different though. A smile didn’t appear on your face when you hear the familiar knock on your window because you were stuck cussing at your computer screen and rubbing your head in frustration. You had an essay to explain Shakespeare and his works but for some reason you kept deleting all that you’ve typed because you couldn’t put your thoughts into words.

He knocked again, quickly this time. “I know you’re there, beautiful.” His voice was muffled through the glass.

You huffed and put your laptop on the bed before stomping to the window. You opened it and were met by the hero grinning at you. You, on the other hand, didn’t have a pleased look on your face.

“I’m not in the mood Chat.” You state and were about to close the window again but he held it to stop you from closing it.

“Ma Belle, did I do something wrong?” He asks, a frown on his face.

You shake your head. “No, I just have this stupid essay that I’ve been trying to type out for the past four hours.” You sigh and make your way back to your bed, rubbing your temples.

He follows you inside and closes the window behind him.

“Maybe I can ease your stress for a little bit.” He says, a smirk on his face.

You simply shoot him a glare and he chuckles nervously, putting his hands up in defense.

“Okay. No sex. Got it.” He sits beside you and looks at what you’re typing.

“You know you can leave right? If you’re horny you can go to your other side bitches.” You say as you type away, your eyes glued onto your screen.

Chat purses his lips, like he held himself back from saying something and shook his head.

“Maybe I came here for some company.” He says.

You snort and chuckle. “Yeah right.” You say sarcastically and look at him, but he wasn’t smiling. You gulp and your smile fades away. Did he seriously come over because he feels lonely?

His face was leaning closer to your and you were leaning closer too. No. You had to finish this stupid essay.

“Stop distracting me kitty.” You whisper and kiss his nose quickly before looking back at the screen.

He groans and falls back on the bed, playing with the pillow.

“I can help you if you’re writing about Shakespear, I wro-“ He stops himself from talking and you turn around, quirking your eyebrow at him.

“You wrote an essay like this?” you questioned.

He visibly gulps and shakes his head.

“Do you go to college?” You question further.

He chuckles nervously. “You know I can’t tell you that mon ange.”

You stare at him for a moment before looking back at your screen. You decided not to pry further, he seemed uncomfortable talking about his personal life and you decided to respect his wishes.

Your phone started to ring and you see that it’s your friend from college Marinette. You pick it up.

“Hey Mari.” You say as you type.

“The deadline has been changed to next week!” She exclaims happily.

You were filled with rage.

“what?” You deadpanned.

“Yeah apparently some students asked to change it because they were having difficulties so he changed it to next week instead of tomorrow morning.”

“I literally asked him to extend the deadline three days ago and he refused. I swear to god I want to kill this son of a bitch” You groan and clutch your fist in anger.

She sighs, “I know girl, but hey at least you’ve got more time on your hands!”

Marinette always tried to be positive when she could and you appreciated that but honestly you needed to vent. “Yeah, thanks for letting me know Mari.”

“No problem! Bonne nuit.”

“Bonne nuit.” You sigh out before you end the call.

You groan out in frustration and shut your laptop.

“What happened?” Chat asks.

You get out of your bed and start to pace around.

“I have been working on this essay for the past four days, knowing very well how stupid it was that the deadline was only five days for a two thousand word essay on fucking Shakespeare and when I ask to extend the deadline, the son of a bitch replies with an angry email saying theres enough time and that im just lazy.” You finally breathe and chat was about to say something but you cut him off.

“But when his privileged French pupil ask him to extend the deadline of course he agrees and you know what, I think it was Adrien fucking Agreste who asked him because hes the fucking pretty model boy who has everybody on their knees for him just because of his high status.” You sit down and without realising you start talking about a different subject.

“Yeah, I get it, everybody wants to fuck the pretty blond guy with money, I would too but at least I don’t look like a thirsty bitch every time he talks to me, some girls in my damn college have literally no chill and I swear to god one day I want to make him my bitch, make him weak for me to show those bitches what i’m capable of.” You were breathing heavily at this point and your face was flushed red.

You always thought Adrien was attractive, everyone did but whenever he talked to you, you responded normally to him unlike other people who constantly laughed at everything he said to try and get in his pants. He was a good guy but he was too well known for his own good and it made you uninterested in him. You thought he was out of your league, that’s what those french bitches told you at least. They belittled you just because you’re foreign - you knew they were just jealous that Adrien was always the one to come up to talk to you unlike them.

That was enough ranting for now. You look at Chat who was staring at you wide eyed, his cheeks glowing red.

“You don’t need to say anything, it’s just-“ You look down at his body and notice something. “Chat..why are you hard?”

He crosses his legs over the other awkwardly to try and hide it. “W-What are you talking about?”

You stand up and walk over to him and he walks back until he’s pressed against the wall.

“What? You get hard thinking about me making someone weak?” You whisper to him and he looks away from you. “You want me to do the same to you kitty?” You kiss his ear and he shudders, nodding slowly. Your hand moves down from his chest to his belly and your lips move from his ear to his jaw. Chat tilts his head back and a frenzy of purrs emerge from his parted lips. He was aroused, in a state of euphoria even with your small, light touches. Your hand moved lower until it reached down to the tent he had in his suit. It was painfully tight for him. Your fingertips lightly brushed over the bulge and he cussed under his breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered while you continued to touch his clothed erection and lick up his neck. He kept purring and moaning at the same time. You loved seeing him worked up like this. Your lips latched on to a certain spot on his neck and you sucked on it harshly, nibbling at it when you got the chance and putting more pressure with your hand against him.

He was a mess, grinding against your hand and breathing heavily.

“Ma Belle – merde,” he couldn’t even speak without stuttering. “I want more, please.” He begs and you look up at him, noticing the red mark on his neck and feeling very pleased with yourself.

“More what, kitty?” You whisper and remove your hand from where it was.

He groans in frustration.

“More – I-I want you to touch me more.” He pleads. “Please.”

You smirk at him and pull him to your bed, pushing him back on the bed and getting on his lap. Before he could react you put your lips on his and start to grind on top of him.

He moans against your lips and throws his head back, holding onto your hips for support. You could tell that he wanted to take his clothes off but you wanted him to come right then and there.

Your hips move against his, the friction pleasing you the same, causing you to moan but grin at the worked up blond beneath you.

“Shit, shit I’m close.” He whimpers and closes his eyes, moving his own hips with yours to get more pleasure.

It felt so good but you knew you couldn’t finish with him, maybe you could continue after but your hopes disappeared when you heard the beeping coming from his ring.

“Mon Ange I-“

“Shut up and come for me kitty.” You groan out and quicken your movements causing him to part his lips and hold onto you.

His body shakes and he spews out cuss words in French while he comes undone, thrusting his hips up and whimpering.

You’re both breathing heavily, looking at each other both dazed and tired. You were about to lean in for another kiss but his ring starts beeping furiously.

You hop off of his lap and watch as he groans while he gets up, uncomfortably moving because of the mess he made between his legs.

“I’m sorry I cant finish you off.” He says, pouting at you.

“It’s okay Chat, I think you’ve done enough today.” You wink at him and he chuckles bashfully.

“Until next time Mon ange!” He says and opens the window.

“Bye Kitty.” You blow him a kiss and with that he’s off.

Maybe you could actually finish yourself off to the thought of him being a mess for you but before you could even do anything, your phone beeps and you see a notification from Adrien Agreste.

 “Did you hear that they moved the deadline for the Shakespeare essay? Pissed me off tbh.”

It was like he knew you accused him of something and to top it all off this was the first time he’s ever really texted you. It was weird but maybe you shouldn’t think much of it. Right?

[lovemeleo]

A New Dream Come True

Well it’s almost 2 am but after a long writer’s block, I’ve finally finished the next part of my Nuny fic. I truly love them so much. So sorry for the long wait on this, but I hope you all enjoy. The SW world and all of it’s OCs belong to the amazing @lumosinlove.

@im-oknutzy-trash here’s your tag, hannah!!

Here’s the other parts of my Nuny series:

- Cuddles with Love

- Remus find out 

____________________________________

The day after getting caught by Remus, Jackson was still shaken. It was that easy. What if it hadn’t been Remus? Or someone they knew? What if someone had taken pictures of them like they did to Loops and Cap? His anxiety shot through the roof at the thought of walking outside.

He knew Zhenya could tell, could see the fear in his eyes when they were together outside of their home. He walked next to Jackson, close enough to be comforting but far enough away to not show anything was up. 

Right now, they were curled together in their bed. It was technically Zhenya’s bed but they both slept there most of the time so it became theirs. 

Jackson had his head resting on his boyfriend’s chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. It was during times like this that Zhenya wished his English was better. Nado always said he loved the way he talked, but it didn’t help him here. There were things he wanted to say without stumbling through his words. He knew the words in Russian, but his English failed him.

“Nado,” Zhenya whispered, running gentle fingers over the other man’s back. He could feel the muscles tense beneath his fingers, like he had to brace for impact. Jackson knew what he was going to say. It was what he had been saying since the night before, and even before that honestly.

They planned to tell the team tonight at dinner, which was at Loops and Cap’s house tonight. The problem was Jackson kept going back and forth.

Sighing softly, Jackson tilted his head up to meet soft brown eyes, “I know. I know we’ve got to tell them. I know they’ll be accepting. It doesn’t make it any less… scary.” He whispered.

Zhenya nodded, “I know. Big scare. But team support, always. Good people. No matter what, I got you. You got me, da?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, babe. I got you.” Jackson said softly.

When they got to the house later on, Jackson felt like he was going to shake out of his shoes. Dumo ushered them both in, leading them to the living room where everyone who had arrived was sitting.

His eyes automatically went to Remus, who was sharing a chair with Sirius. Seeing them helped a bit. Their team was so accepting, so supportive. Realistically, he knew it’d be fine. There’s just always that little part in his brain that has to disagree.

“Nado, Kuns! We were just about to start a Mario Kart tourney, you in?” Talker asked from where he stood by the TV. Leo and Logan were on the floor with a pair of the Wii remotes, Finn on the couch behind them.

Jackson let out a shaky breath before he decided this was it. This was the moment, now or never. Well… not now or never, but fuck, it felt like it. Slowly he reached back, intertwining his fingers with Zhenya’s.

“We.. We actually wanted to tell you guys something.” He croaked out, feeling Zhenya’s grip tighten on his own hand. It felt as though each pair of eyes was a laser on his hand, their hands, just burning them. Jackson almost let go. Almost. But the warmth of his boyfriend’s hand, just feeling his presence next to him, was comforting.

Zhenya pulled him closer as he looked at his team, raising an eyebrow as if daring them to say something, “Nado and I date. We good together.” 

Jackson couldn’t help the small smile that spread on his face as he looked up at his boyfriend. They were good together. 

There was a pause, a silence. Not awkward per say, it was more just everyone taking their time to understand. It was Finn who interrupted the quiet.

“How did we get so many non-heteros on one fucking team?” 

Zhenya let out a laugh, resting his head onto Jackson’s shoulder, “We just lucky.” He murmured, a soft smile spreading on his face. 

“I’d have to agree.” Cap said as he came over, pulling them both into a hug. “I’m so happy for you both. I’ve got your back, you know we all do.” Nado didn’t know that he had ever been on the receiving end of a Cap hug, but it was really nice. Especially at a time like this.

Jackson smiled, glancing at Zhenya out of the corner of his eye, “We know.”

“Dinner is ready whenever you guys are.” Celeste said, leaning the doorway with a smile. They all began making their way into the kitchen, chatting happily between each other when Zhenya held Jackson back.

Jackson leaned into him automatically, a smile spread across his face. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Sure, there would probably be more questions later, more people to talk to, but they had told their team. 

“Oh, Zhenya, you right. You sooo smart.” Zhenya teased in what was apparently his rendition of Jackson’s voice. 

Shaking his head fondly, Jackson laughed, “First of all, I sound nothing like that. Second of all, yes babe, you’re very smart and you were right. Don’t get used to hearing it though.” His arms went around Zhenya’s middle as he leaned in to give him a kiss.

Zhenya smiled into the kiss, “I love you.” He said before pressing kisses all over his boyfriend’s face. 

“Love you too, Zhenya. Always.”

When Jackson was invited to join the Lions, it was honestly a dream come true. From the time he put on his first pair of skates, all he wanted was to play hockey professionally. But now. Now he had a boyfriend who he loved, a team who supported them. It may not have been his original dream, but it was still his favorite dream come true.

[winterscaptain]

transfer request. part three.

read part one here and part two here

a/n: this one contains smut because im insufferable so if you’re not 18+, i love you but you gotta stick to part one :) i’m so happy i got the muse for another part to this. i have a request or two in my inbox that i’m working on, but feel free to drop some more!

AO3 | Masterlist | Requests Open!

+++

Y/N’s nerves settle as Aaron steps out of the assistant director’s office, closes the door behind him, and flashes her a soothing smile. He offers YN a hand. She takes it and rise, ready for her portion of the evaluation. 

“I’m going to get Jack from school, and we’ll be waiting for you when you get home.” 

She hums, and squeezes his hand. Her heart’s been racing all morning, and she’s barely been able to focus on the consults piling up on her desk. Didn’t people have better things to do than hurt women in their free time?

Sensing her anxiety, Aaron leans close to her ear and she suppresses a shiver. “I warmed them up for you. You’ll be great.”  He presses a quick, casual kiss to her temple. “It’s just a formality – they know everything they need to.” 

He releases her as their interim section chief opens the door. So much had happened in the four months between the transfer request and the hearing to address it. The most extreme of which were the death of Erin Strauss and their recent move to the newly-purchased house on the river between Quantico and D.C. It had been hectic, but they were happy to finally know whether Y/N would stay with their work family or not. 

When she steps in and sits down, the assistant director looks friendly, albeit tired. 

“Good afternoon, Agent.” The director flips a page on his legal pad, and she catches Aaron’s name among his notes. 

“Good afternoon, sir. Good afternoon, Chief Leon.” She acknowledges both men with a smile. The interim chief is new to Quantico, but comes well-recommended. 

“Thank you so much for coming in with your consult list so long. It is appreciated.” 

Not that I had a choice. “No problem, sir. I’m excited to get things settled after...everything.” 

“That makes two of us,” Chief Leon says. “Your fortitude and professionalism does not go unnoticed, and I’ve appreciated your welcome as I’ve settled into the interim role.” 

She’s not sure, but it sounds like he put a little too much emphasis on interim. Letting it go, she reminds herself that she’s not here to profile but rather to discuss a rapidly-approaching marriage to one Agent Aaron Hotchner. “I’m so glad, sir. I think I can speak for the team when I say the BAU is proud to be under your leadership, no matter how temporary or permanent.” 

The assistant director finally finds his footing in his notes and looks up. “Alright, to the situation at hand. How long have you been in a relationship with Agent Hotchner?” 

Over breakfast that morning, she and Aaron had bounced their answers off each other, just to make sure everything was lined up for the bureaucratic nightmare that was a formal hearing. “Just over two years, now.” 

“Did you disclose your relationship at the time of its inception?” 

“No, sir.” It hurt to admit the flagrant policy violation, but it seemed reasonable at the time. 

“You are aware that this is not bureau policy, especially seeing as Agent Hotchner is your unit chief.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

There’s a pause, and the two men look at each other. Interim Chief Leon takes over. “Because we have evidence that your conduct in the field remained unaffected, we have decided to overlook that policy violation. Your team has also advocated for you – Agent Morgan specifically remarking on your,” he checks his notes, “admirable dedication to the team and the support you offer to your unit and unit chief in high-intensity field operations. Agent Jareau spoke of your compassion and patience with the families of victims, and Dr. Reid emphasized the importance of your skillset with children and adolescent psychology. Agent Prentiss also complimented your cohesive work style and support of your unit chief, even in disagreements. Your team is very loyal, and you should be very proud.”

“Thank you, sir.” The tone and company in the room require short and simple answers, but she so wants to defend her decision to maintain the privacy of their relationship. She laces her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting. 

“I am continually impressed with the results of the BAU’s fieldwork, and desire to disrupt the team as little as possible so you may continue your high-performance in the field.” The assistant director’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Thank you, sir.” 

“You are to remain on assignment with the BAU until the re-evaluation of your contract in...” He checks the copy of your contract underneath his legal pad. “three years and four months.” 

Remain on assignment? “Thank you, sir.”

Everyone stands, then, and she shakes hands with both men before leaving the assistant director’s office. 

If I’m staying, and Aaron didn’t say anything about leaving, then who’s flying the plane? 

+++

When she steps into the house, she can hear Aaron and Jack playing video games in the playroom. The sun had yet to set, and she revels in the rare opportunity to share daylight with her family. 

Y/N leans against the doorframe as Jack continues to slaughter Aaron in Mario Kart. They’re both sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding the same posture right down to the slight tilt of their heads to the left. 

They still don’t notice her after about ten minutes, so she flops down and stretches her torso across Aaron’s lap so her head falls into Jack’s. Jack’s little hands immediately fall into her hair, fingers tangling in whatever he can find.

Aaron lets the controller drop to the floor and stretches his hands to cover a broad swath of her abdomen. His fingers reach from her hip to just under the underwire of her bra.  

“What kind of trouble are you getting up to in here?” 

Jack giggles and she smiles up at him. He’s upside down from this angle, but he’s still the cutest boy in the world. 

“Daddy sucks at Mario Kart.”

Aaron’s hair flops into his eyes as he releases her and reaches over you to tickle Jack. “Hey!” 

Y/N laughs and rolls over onto the floor, snatching Jack away from his father by the waist. “C’mon Jack! Run!” 

Jack grabs her hands and they run down the hallway, Aaron hot on their heels. Both she and Jack are crying with laughter at this point, and she stumbles as they turn into the living room, slipping on the hardwood in her socks. 

Aaron takes advantage of her momentary weakness and pounces, caging her in his arms as he tackles her to the couch. Jack jumps on the both of them, and they rest there for a moment, Aaron half on-top of her with her head pillowed on his arm and Jack clinging to Aaron’s back. 

The huge couch was a good investment. 

“Hey, Y/N, wanna know something cool?” Jack’s little head tips up and she brushes some caramel hair out of his eyes. It seems to get darker by the day. He needs a haircut. “Always! You know how much I love cool stuff.” 

“Dad said he got a new job and that he doesn’t have to go away so much and he’ll pick me up from Aunt Jessica’s every night before dinner.” 

She raises her eyebrows and brings a hand to Aaron’s hair. His head is burrowed in her shoulder, absolutely hiding from her prying gaze. “Oh?” 

“He also said he and Uncle Dave would help coach my soccer team and I said you can do that now because you have a ring like the other moms.” 

That draws a smile from her, and she pulls both of her Hotchner boys close, squeezing them and kissing their heads. “Let’s get dinner on, my loves.” 

+++

When Aaron tucks Jack into bed that night, she hangs back at the door. There is nothing quite like watching Aaron with Jack. They’re like different-sized versions of the same person, though there is a good deal of Haley in him. His smile, especially – wide and friendly – reminds Y/N of her often. The framed photos around the house are the strongest recollections of her. Y/N's favorite sits on the mantle with a dried rose from the funeral. It was the first thing she and Aaron unpacked, and Aaron spent many minutes standing before it, barefoot, with her tucked under his arm. 

“Do you think she would be happy?” Y/N had asked. 

He nodded, wordlessly. “She told me she was when I coded in surgery last year.”

She looked up at him, swallowing thickly when she remembered how close they were to losing him. 

Aaron snorted, changing the tone. “She also told me I’d be a fool and an idiot to let you go. She wasn’t surprised when I told her I already knew that.” He adopts her countenance for a moment, imitating her. “Well of course you know, Aaron. Knowing and doing are two very different things.” 

Y/N greets that picture every time she walks into the house. Haley, Jack, and Aaron from a decade ago smile back at her. It was their first picture taken as a family: Jack was barely three months old. The newest family photo sits beside it, Y/N’s eight-week (and most recent) ultrasound photo stuck haphazardly into the frame. 

As Aaron leans up, she crosses to Jack’s bedside and kneels. The boy reaches for her, and she gathers him into a hug. “How much do I love you, my Jack?” 

“More than the whole world,” he says, rote. She had shared that exchange with him long before she and Aaron started seeing each other, and they found it silly to stop now. 

She breathes him in, kissing his temple and tucking him back in. 

When she and Aaron finally rise and turn the light off, Jack is nearly asleep. 

Safe within the confines of the bedroom they share, she raises her eyebrows at Aaron as she removes her shirt to change into pajamas. His eyes catch on her lace-clad chest and she takes the opportunity to change the subject. “New job?” 

He huffs and flops on the bed, his shirt only half-unbuttoned, belt in-hand and slacks unzipped. “I didn’t expect him to spring that on you.” 

She sits on the opposite edge of the bed and slips her pants off, leaving her only in your matching “I’m going into a scary meeting” set of underwear. Today may have been the last day she could wear them for a while. She leans back, landing next to him and carding her fingers through his hair.

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

“They offered me the section chief position,” he mumbles into the comforter. 

“Aaron! That’s huge!” She shoves at his shoulder and he groans, rolling on his side. She’s almost distracted by the adoring, soft look in his eyes. “Are you going to take it?” 

“I asked for the week to decide, but it was just a formality. It’s time, I think, to be home with Jack more.” He reaches up, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “And I wanted to keep you on the team.” 

She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. 

“The pay increase certainly doesn’t hurt, either,” he adds with a laugh. 

She makes herself busy with the remaining buttons on his shirt, and ruck up the tails from his slacks. “Do you get to keep your office? Who’s the new unit chief?” 

He laughs again. So many questions. “No, Emily gets my office as the new unit chief under my recommendation. But I get to keep the furniture.” 

“Emily?!” Her rapid blush overrides the excitement for her friend. A smirk crosses her face. Aaron’s mirrors yours, and they’re both thinking of one particular late night on the desk a few weeks ago. “That’s good at least. I’d like to be able to sit at her desk and look her in the eye at the same time.” He kisses her soundly. “That would be useful.” 

She reaches for him and wiggles into the middle of the bed. “I’ll miss you.” She grins against his mouth. “I’ll miss you in that vest, too.” 

He rises fully then, removing the rest of his clothes. She lifts her arms above her head, reaching for him across the bed, looking at him upside-down. He roughly grabs her wrists and firmly tugs her closer to him. 

She finds herself quickly surrounded by him, not an inch of her skin left untouched by kisses and caresses. 

+++

When he’s finally inside her, and they breathe and kiss and laugh together, they can finally relax. She’s home, he’s home. The life they share together will be one marked with joy, with patience, with understanding. 

“I love you,” she says with a gasp as he pushes deep into her, her back arching under him. 

“There aren’t words, my love. None.” 

He pushes her to your climax with a thumb on her clit, buried deep within her. She sinks her teeth into his shoulder. He follows quickly with a few sloppy thrusts. He doesn’t move even after a few minutes, still completely blissed-out, and she laughs.  

She kisses his sweaty forehead, her fingers still tangled in his hair. “So do I get to call you Chief Hotchner when I’m mad at you now?” 

He laughs, but it’s cut short by his groan and her hitch in breath when he finally pulls out of her. He takes a moment to recover, pressing his forehead to her chest. “I think,” he says after a moment, “you can stick to Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Benjamin Hotchner, Juris Doctorate for occasions like those.”

At her giggle, he continues. 

“While a mouthful, it’s quite effective at getting my attention.” 

“I’m so glad to hear that. I would hate to know I’m losing my touch.”

They tuck themselves neatly under the covers, not bothering to clean up. It’s laundry day tomorrow, after all. When she curls against his chest, he covers her hand where it rests over his heart. 

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrry-ixn @ange-must-die

[thedancefloorsilly]

congrats on 300!! for the event: she/her, female. im smart, helpful, but i don't talk much. im 5'2, dark brown hair + eyes. i like watching tv, listening to ppl talk + ppl who smile a lot. i dislike hypocrites, repeating myself + ads. i like watching tv, reading + surfing thru the web. my f/o is shalnark (romantic). we both like physical affection, talking abt random things, and doing stuff at night like walk around the city. i steal his hoodies a lot, and we play mario kart all the time.

Thanks anon!! Thank you for the request as well hope u enjoy <33

Event post: here

character: shalnark

- Game nights between the two of you are very frequent and very competitive. If you think that Shalnark’s going to let you win that easily then you’re WRONG. Mario Kart is one of the games that you play that gets the most heated. Shalnark’s always has a knack for getting in first place. Plus, whenever you manage to be in front, luck is always in his favors as that man just somehow gets the best power-ups (blue shells, lucky 7′s, stars, bullet bills, all that stuff)!!

“Oh come on! You definitely cheated this round!” you shouted out playfully as you see Shalnark cross the finish line.

“Cheated?” he laughs out with a small smile, “It’s not my fault you’re just bad at this game!”

“How were you able to get in 1st place when you were all the way back in 7th?? Not fair, I call a rematch!” 

“I suppose we can have a rematch. Want me to go easier on you this time?” Shalnark coo’s with a teasing smile.

“Nope! This time I'm gonna win, just watch.”

“You’re on, _____!”

- Though your determination was enough to put you in first place the majority of that round, Shalnark somehow managed to cut right in front of you at the last minute, stealing that win from your hands. Damn he’s good.

- The fact that you both like affection is a big plus. He can be very touchy sometimes, and he loves that you reciprocate back!! One of his favorite things you always catch him doing is just simply resting his chin on your head. You could just be standing and all of a sudden you feel a weight pressed on top of your head, along with two strong arms wrapping around you body. 

- Ahhh more affection talk!! Some of his favorite places to kiss you is actually on the top of your head and sometimes on your nose, too! With his normal kisses, Shalnark will just cup your cheek with his hand, and then swoop down to peck you on your lips or nose!! 

- One of the most notable features about Shalnark is his smile, which is something you’re definitely not afraid to compliment how much you love it. His face brighten’s even more whenever you do (“guess I'll have to smile more, then!” he’ll respond with).

- Even though Shalnark is the one who usually leads the conversation’s with his own talking, you’re more than happy to listen what he has to say. You guys usually have the longest conversations during the night, especially when out on those walks around the city. Your discussions are always feel so natural and fluid as you pass around the topic you’re talking about. 

- He also likes to hear about anything that you have to say as well. Yes, sometimes Shalnark can be more of the talker, but he’s a very avid listener and often pays attention whenever you speak.

- All in all, there are many things that Shalnark loves about you, and there are many traits you guys both have that make you guys such a great fit for each other!! Shalnark always cherishes every moment you guys share. Those little night walks, long talks, the many times he’s beaten you in those games, and all the other stuff are things that he appreciates being able to have with you!!

[books-bring-you-to-wonderland]

im just gonna list ships i like and you can pick and choose (please dont write all of these that is too much). moohmtoonz, pandaohmcat, jiggly noss, daithi de vanoss, moogla, vantoonz, pandacat

Do all of them you said? Okay >:)

Moohmtoonz

-Buff, buff, n fluff. Brock and Luke are broad shouldered and big armed kinda dudes, and Ohm is very lucky for the eye candy and makes sure to tell all of their friends about it every single day

-Brock makes sure that there are fresh flowers on the table everyday, and Ohm doesn't have the heart to tell him that it makes his allergies kick up because the flowers make Brock so happy

-Ohm might not be the best cook, but he'll be damned if he can't be in the kitchen; he usually bakes bread, cakes and cookies and his boyfriends are all too happy to shower him with praise

-Luke usually sleeps in a separate room, since he knows how bad he can snore- but most mornings he wakes up with a boyfriend under each arm anyways, so maybe he doesn't snore as bad as he thinks

-Luther has to dress his boyfriends some days, it's not his fault they're both total dads and have not a lick of style between the two of them ("Ohm, those jeans make your ass look flatter than a pancake")

-Delirious can get pretty jealous that his best friend is busy with double the pretty boyfriends, so he usually ends up 4th wheeling on their dates

Pandohmcat

-Shoes. So many shoes. Between Ohm's boots and Anthony and Tyler's massive sneaker haul, there is no room in the house for anything

-In general, there's no room in the house for anything; there are dog toys, shoes, clothes, plants, figures, collectables, and posters everywhere. It's a very organized but still cluttered mess

-Ohm doesn't get why his boyfriends love cars so much either, but he still smiles when they gush about it and nods along as if he has any idea what they're talking about

-These three absolutely rock date night, and usually end up at their little local bowling alley or at a bar for some good wings and good beer

-Tyler gets a bit pouty when Anthony and Ohm play together all night, and usually ends up crashing one of their offices for some well needed kisses before bed

-Tyler's parents are more than happy that his son not only got one boyfriend but *two*; it just means Wilddad has more sons, and he pulls out the baby album everytime the trio come around for dinner

Jigglynoss

-The "we are never playing mario kart ever again" couple

-Anthony is absolutely astounded by Evan's music career, and more often than not he's in the studio with Evan just watching his boyfriend work and mix, and he finds something really beautiful about Evan's passion for his work

-Late at night (or early in the morning), Evan will stumble into their bedroom and wake Anthony up to have him listen to the latest edit of his song

-Evan isn't the biggest fan of crowds, and usually holds onto Anthony's hand or arm tight- Anthony always makes sure to give a reasurring squeeze or smile to calm him down

-No, Vanoss doesn't pay his gmod mapmaker to put in cute little love notes for Panda to find, that's ridiculous!

-When they're not in the mood to cook, Anthony's go to is a peanut butter and jelly- Evan used to not even like the sandwiches till Anthony started making them for him

Daithi de vanoss

-They're little shits. They're the kinda couple who prank each other- like replacing the sugar caddy with salt, or putting saran wrap on the toilet bowl

-Nogla is the softer of the two and definitely more romantic; he likes to play silly love songs on his acoustic when it's a rainy day or when Evan's come back from tour, and it never fails to make him melt

-That being said, Evan wants to do a collab with his boyfriend bur Nogla always gets so shy, and mutters something about wanting to get better at singing before they work on music together

-They're definitely a sight to see in public or in cons; Evan's always dressed in black, with skinny jeans and designer shoes and his ever present baseball hat- while Nogla usually looks like he's rolled out of bed and threw on whatever wrinkled clothes were on the floor

-Evan does not like chocolate milk, but he drinks it because it's basically the only beverage in the house

-These two kiss in bed all the time- it's where Evan feels most comfortable with the whole affection thing, and let's Daithi kiss him breathless under the duvet and hold him close to his chest

Moogla

-Brock kinda has a thing for being the 'housewife'- he likes cooking and cleaning and taking care of Daithi, and it never fails to make his chest swell with pride when Nogla tells him that the house looks nice, or that dinner was fantastic

-They probably only own comfy clothes, and only dress up for special occasions and anniversarys- and even then, Nogla always asks Moo if he can tie his tie (it's adorable everytime)

-If Nogla wants to hide a gift for Brock, he'll put it in the tallest cabinet or on top of the fridge; so far, Brock hasn't found out about his secret hiding spots

-They're both homebodies and would rather spend an evening in with each other than go out somewhere fancy

-Nogla loves taking Brock out to the fair however, and wins him the biggest prize he can everytime without fail. The collection they have in the house takes up a lot of space in the guest bedroom, but Brock insists they stay

-Oh these two sing Christmas songs together for sure, and they harmonize pretty well (even if David can get a little silly during the songs sometimes). It never fails to make Brock melt into a useless gay puddle when David sings to him

Vantoonz

-These two are a very busy couple; merch, streams, tours, recording, sponserships; they're both usually up far past bedtime, but they make it work

-Evan calls Luke his "trophy husband" and Luke honorably takes the title- he likes dressing up and looking good for his man, what can he say?

-They are CAT DADS and spoil the ever living shit out of their kitties. Evan bought a 300 dollar cat tree that has never been used a day in their life (they liked the box better)

-The only thing that they ever argue about is pizza toppings; Luke likes hawaiian, and Evan thinks it's a disgrace to pizza everywhere (they usually end up getting supreme and calling it a day)

-Luke can get kinda clingy believe it or not, and if Evan's busy recording he'll just wrap his arms around Evan's waist and press little kisses to his hair

-Evan did not like the beard at first, but it grew on him- even if Cartoonz wakes up looking like a dirty old pirate most mornings

Pandacat

-Anthony shares his absolute delight over Pokémon (cards and games) with his boyfriend, who usually returns the enthusiasm. They both think that Charmander is the best starter, but they squabble on which pokemon type is the best

-They probably play football (the american one) with each other in the yard, and things can get pretty rough. Tyler once apologized for a good two hours straight after he accidentally elbowed Anthony in the eye (Panda just laughed and kissed him to shut him up)

-Gym dates, though Tyler really just watches Anthony work out while he just kinda jogs on the treadmill the whole time

-Tyler's a little on the chubby side, and Anthony's all for it- he likes making hearty dinners and loves when Tyler gets second helpings ("You like my cooking? I'm shook, babe")

-Kino is Anthony's son, and nothing in the world can change that.

[all-hail-the-witcher]

one expensive can of easy cheese

crack head hours my kids

also inspired by a hot guy i saw at walgreens today

the walgreens chaos returns

______

ship: ralbert

genre: crackhead angst

words: who knows, not super long

warnings: mentions of a twine kink, easy cheese, concussions, walgreens, race thinks another guy is hot, uhhh, hot men in scrubs, minor bits of violence, new yorkers been new yorkers, albert is a dumbass, race is more of a dumbass

editing: nah

_____

Race was sat on top of the counter in his and Albert’s apartment, a piece of duct tape over his mouth and his hands tied together with kitchen twine. He sighed against his restraints, resigned to watch his boyfriend make their contribution to this year’s Thanksgiving gathering: mac and cheese.

Now, of course everyone and their mother knew that mac and cheese was not a Traditional Thanksgiving Food. But, Albert had won (best out of three) mario kart yesterday so he had gotten to decide what they would bring to Jack’s house. Had Race known that he had been planning to make mac and fucking cheese, maybe he would have tried a little harder.

Apparently, Albert was not pleased with Race’s reaction to his decision to make mac and cheese, and thought that Race might try to get in the way somehow (which he may or may not have fully intended to do). So he did what any loving boyfriend would: sat him on the counter, put duct tape over his mouth and tied his hands together so he wouldn’t interfere.

Race was beginning to wonder why he had agreed to move in with Albert in the first place.

With a violent shake of his head and one final spat, he was able to dislodge the duct tape.

“Albieeeeee,” he whined, laying down on the counter. “Can you pleaaaaaaaseee let me helllllllllp?”

Albert barely glanced up as he pulled the big wooden spoon out of the pot and gave it a thoughtful lick. “Hmmmmmmm. No.”

“But-!” He wriggled around to give Albert his best puppy dog eyes. “Can I make something else then? Ple-OW!” He glared at the spatula that had been hurled at his arm. “You apologize for that!”

“Nah.” He smirked and went back to stirring his wretched pasta. Well, actually Albert’s mac and cheese was quite good. Race was just salty that he was making it for Thanksgiving when it was very well known that he was the chef of the two and Jack was expecting something good not the mac and cheese Albert famously made at 2am in college when they were all high as hell.

“Can you at least untie me then?”

“No.” Albert even bother considering this time.

“Well.” If logic wasn't going to work on Albert he would have to try another method. “I know you know how to make a guy feel good Albie, but I never expected ropes to be a part of it. What’s next? Handcuffs? Whips? Chains?”

In two seconds flat Race was out of his kitchen twine bonds and flexing his sore wrists.

“Man Albie, who knew you had a twine kink.”

“You know,” Albert began loudly, as if thinking that his loudness would cover up his totally obvious twine kink, “if you want to do something that's actually useful, you could go to Walgreens and buy me another can of Easy Cheese.”

“Is that what you put in your fuckin mac and cheese?” Race swore he actually felt bile rise in the back of his throat when Albert nodded. “That’s it. I’m never eating your mac and cheese again.”

“But-!”

“I’ll eat you though,” Race winked, taking a moment to enjoy the startled, yet somehow pleased look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Not until after we’re done at Jack’s.” Albert said only half jokingly as he dug around in his pocket for a second before throwing a crumpled five at Race. “In the meantime though, be gone thot!”

Race barely managed to catch the bill without falling on the floor, but still blew a kiss to Albert before walking out of the apartment.

Who the fuck puts easy cheese in mac and cheese? He wondered for the millionth time as he stomped the three blocks to Walgreens. Albert claimed that he had chosen his apartment for its proximity to the store, but up until today Race had always assumed that he had been joking. The man did make a lot of mac and cheese and if Easy Cheese was an ingredient well….maybe there was some truth to that story after all.

Race pulled open the door to the Walgreens, pausing briefly to wonder why the absolute fuck it was open on literal Thanksgiving before remembering that it was a fucking Walgreens and why wouldn’t it be open to sell his dumbass boyfriend a can of fucking Easy Cheese.

In order to get to the Easy Cheese, or at least he assumed so because he had never bought a can of Easy Cheese in his whole glorious 25 years of life, Race had to walk past the Pharmacy section of the store. And, it just so happened that there was a guy sitting behind the counter at the Pharmacy. A very attractive guy. With a beard. In scrubs.

Now, of course Race loved Albert and nothing would ever change that, but he could appreciate an attractive man when he saw one. He thanked whatever deity was out there for the bit of man candy that he had been granted and went in search of his Easy Cheese.

“Mac and cheese, velveta cheese, microwaveable mac and cheese, where the fuck is the- oh thank fuck there we go.” He pulled a can of Easy Cheese off of the shelf, tossing it once and catching it before turning to go pay for the horrendous product, happy to finally be done with the whole ordeal when-

“Easy cheese? Really?”

Race whirled around to see Mr. Man Candy himself leaning against the opposite shelf. “Wh- who?”

“Oh,” he dusted his hand off on his scrubbs, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Brett O’Hare. And you, sir, are a disgrace to society. The very reason why so many Americans are in poor health in this day and age.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“The Easy Cheese!” Brett gestured wildly toward the can in Race’s hand. “Gosh do you even know how many preservatives are in that stuff? And all the cancers that it can cause? It’s terrible. We wouldn’t need free healthcare if people just stopped eating Easy Cheese!”

Race had lived in New York City his whole life, and he had seen some pretty strange things, but never had he seen a pharmacist in a Walgreens lecture anyone about the health benefits of Easy Cheese.

“So let me get this straight,” Race rubbed his head, trying to make sense of the situation. “You go around yelling at people about the ingredients in the things that they are purchasing?”

“Yeah.”

“You do realize that this is a Walgreens, right? Everything in here probably contains some kind of chemical.” New Yorkers never ceased to amaze him.

“All the more reason for me to inform them of their poor eating habits!” Brett pointed a finger at him. “And stop distracting me! You’re the one buying the freaking easy cheese here!”

“It’s not even for me!” Race shouted back. “It’s for my boyfriend’s fucking mac and cheese that he insisted on making for Thanksgiving even though everyone knows that mac and cheese is not a fucking Thanksgiving food and he’s only making it cause he knocked me off the goddamn rainbow road right before the fucking finish line!” Race was fuming but the time that he was done.

“Oh, man I’m so sorry, that's lousy.”

Race looked surprised. Of all the things that he thought he would get out of this Walgreens experience, a therapy session was indeed not on the list. But neither had been hearing a lecture about the preservatives in Easy Cheese from a pharmacist.

“But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still buying Easy Cheese!” Between one second and the next, Brett had grabbed the can of Easy Cheese out of Race’s hand, wielding it like a brick. “Buy some fucking vegetables!”

And with that, he struck Race over the head with the can of Easy Cheese.

Now, Race had definitely done some questionable things during his life. Once he had slept on the roof of his dorm building in January for a week because he lost his dorm key, and another time he had been tricked into making an entire wedding cake using salt. However, being smacked over the head with a can of Easy Cheese by a health nut in scrubs on Thanksgiving put any and all other situations he had been in to shame.  

He opened his eyes, suddenly blinded by the lights, and reached for his phone, muttering curses about man candy and vegetables. Squinting so he didn’t have to look at the screen, he somehow managed to dial Albert.

“Racetrack Higgins, where is my Easy Cheese?”

Race pulled the phone away from his ear and winced at the sound of his boyfriend’s voice. “Um, it may have been used to give me a concussion by a health nut in scrubs?”

Albert let out a loud sigh. “Ah man, did you run into Brett? That guy’s the worst.”

“Wait, you know him?”

“Race, I know every Walgreens employee in Manhattan, of course I know Brett.” There was the jangling of keys in the background. “I thought I told you to go to the one on 4th for this reason, ah, well. I’m on my way. I’ll take you to urgent care. Hang tight.”

Race’s head hurt too much to process what Albert had said except for the words ‘I’m on my way.’ “Okay,” he sighed.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Race’s eyes focused on the dented can of Easy Cheese rolling on the floor. “And Al?”

“Yeah?”

“This is going to be one expensive can of Easy Cheese.”

______

that was a ride

feedback is always appreciated hmm if you wanna be on the tag list

tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan

@well-the-kids-do-too

@racetrackcook

@ughwaitwhat

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@voice-foundshoe-lost

@stopthe-presses

@ridin-in-style

@pinecovewoods

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing

@getchapapes

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen

@stellar-alpaca

@saxoph-ella

@smolcanadiankid

@disney-princess-sized

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@insane-tomato

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@thatfancyclam

@myidkwhatmynameisblog

@legoflambwrites

@not-a-scab

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@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-ny

@mrs-higgins

@spot-me50-papes

@papesdontsellthemselves

@deathcast-s

@the-poodles-of-pulitzer

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

@humanracoon

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@nico-nat

@localfakeitalian

@carryyourownbanner

@warmwoolysweaters

@spot-the-brooklyn-pirate

@writing-makes-me-antsy

@racetrackyeetgins

[irwinkitten]

Laura I need daddy!ash finding out that you’re expecting a baby

For your new dad!Ash series, what about the daughter getting a sibling? I reckon that would be so freaking cute

for the daddy!ash series i would love to see ash talking to you about having a child of your own together!!!!

UAHSJSJSS ash and y/n dining out shes pregnant??? and trying to explain to princess shes getting a brother or sister im CRYINGG

Yo,,,,,,sooooo dad!ash finding out that you’re expecting a baby together. And you’re kind of scared because how is princess going to react? Is Ashton going to leave like Jamie did?

IF ASH AND BABY MAMA DON’t end having their own kid I’ll hate you forever!! Okay I wouldn’t hate you, but would very much curse Ashton never to wear red again.

ok but daddy ash getting a surprise from y/n and shes expecting and they have to explain to princess that shes getting a new brother/sister :-)

listen i am soft as fuck so i’m coming for ur hearts. 2.5k of fluff fluff and fluff.

masterlist is linked in the source

this is part eighteen

—

As you went around the various people, unable to let go of Anne for more than three seconds in amazed disbelief that he’d flown them all the way out to LA for this, your little girl was animatedly chatting with Cal, sat on his shoulders as she described how she helped Ashton pick out your ring.

“He took such a big risk getting all of you out here to celebrate a potential engagement.” You hummed to Anne whilst the two of you stood in the kitchen, away from the chaos. Ashton was in the lounge his laughter ringing clear through to the kitchen.

You smiled.

“When you’re sure about someone, you know it’s going to be a yes. The last time I saw him so sure of something was when they decided to really try it as a band. When we met both of you for the first time, and I saw how he interacted with you and the family, I could see how he fell in love so quickly with the both of you.” Your cheeks flushed a dark shade as you felt the tears build up.

“If it’s any consolation, the way you’ve accepted both of us, it means the world to me. You’ve made more of an effort than my own family, the same with the boys and it’s so overwhelming and I shouldn’t be crying.” You laughed as you wiped the tears that had fallen.

Anne wiped her own as she pulled you in for another hug, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she pulled away.

“It’ll be official soon enough, and I look forward to officially welcoming a new daughter and granddaughter to the family. Even when said granddaughter already calls me her nana.”

Almost as if she were called, Calum entered the kitchen with her sat atop his shoulders, a beaming grin on her lips.

“Look at the two of you!” Your phone was out fast as you snapped a photo of the two of them. Calum laughed.

“Nana! Uncle Cal helped me be taller than daddy!” You both giggled a Calum helped her down so she could give Anne a hug.

“You alright?” Calum’s voice was quiet as the two of you watched her wrap her arms around Anne’s waist and lean her head back, talking a mile a minute to Anne. To Anne’s credit, she nodded in the right places.

“Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely loving this, and thank you so much.” You leaned up, kissing his cheek. He smirked, throwing an arm over your shoulder as he squeezed you tightly.

“Hey, you’re officially family now.”

“Not till the wedding.” Calum shrugged.

“Your munchkin made us family the day she called Ashton her dad. And there was the pang once more, the wish for your mom to be there to witness it.

“I just—I sometimes wish my family didn’t turn their backs on me when I found out I was pregnant. She’d have been spoiled rotten. They would have loved Ashton.” The hitch in your voice caused him to pull you outside, Anne craftily distracting your daughter so you could escape unnoticed.

Pulling you into a tight hug, you allowed the tears to fall, just for a few moments.

It was times like these, big milestones in both of your lives that you wished you could share with your family.

But they’d taken the route of turning their backs on you when you had announced your pregnancy. Your mom had been a staunch supporter, especially after your little girl was born. The rest of the family actively ignored you both.

It was only when you’d come home to find your mom in tears, did you learn why they’d cut you off completely.

“They think that you were too influenced by a single parent. Should’ve married someone who would’ve treated you right enough to teach you family values. Said our line was cursed, single parents out of all of us.”

You’d called them that day, screaming about how dare they take their so called beliefs and turn their backs. But they’d come back with crueller insults.

As you pulled away from Cal, he wiped the few remaining tears from your cheeks and you sighed.

“Better?” You snorted at that.

“Not really. I miss my mom. I wish my family weren’t such dicks. I’m surprised they haven’t come knocking yet.”

“What would you do if they did?”

“Honestly? Tell them to get bent. I found a new family in Shay and Marc, in you guys, with Ashton. I’m good.” He grinned before glancing  up as the backdoor opened.

“Everything okay?” You turned to see Ashton, holding your daughter on his hip, smiles on both of their faces.

“Yeah, we’re good.” You returned the smiles with ease and Calum gave you another soft squeeze before heading to the backdoor.

You watched in amusement as your daughter reached for him and he lucked her from Ashton’s arms.

“C’mon cuddlebug, I think it’s time we try to beat Uncle Mike at Mario Kart. You wanna help me?” You could hear your daughter cheering as the door shut, muting the sounds inside as Ashton moved closer to you.

“I know you said you were good, but was that for her sake or mine?” His lips met yours in a soft kiss and it hit you that you were the lucky sod that got to marry this man.

“Just, slightly maudlin over family stuff.” Ashton sighed, his fingers lifting up, gently tracing down the side of your cheek. You leaned into his touch with a small smile.

“I hate that they did such a thing. I know it happened before I met you, but as good as you are lying to your daughter, you’re not that good with me.”

This caused you some soft laughter before he pulled out his pulled out his phone. You watched as he stuck on a playlist of soft songs before taking your hands within his.

“Dance with me?” You could feel your heartbeat pick up a little before it settled once more, a feeling of content washing over you as you slow danced with him.

“So I’m an open book to you, huh?” You teased playfully as your bodies moved slowly to the music.

“Not all the time. I think I’ve got it nailed down close though. Whenever she does something, your eyes are full of joy, but your smile isn’t all there sometimes. Especially her big milestones. Don’t think I didn’t hear you crying after her first day of school.” You knew that the comment held nothing but love behind those words.

“She’s growing up so fast Ash, and I’m scared that when she’s ready to leave, I won’t be ready for her to go.” His lips pressed against your forehead as the two of you swayed.

“I can’t offer great advice because I’ve only entered her life when she was already starting to grow up and when my siblings were growing up, I was already on tour and out of the house.” The two of you traded small laughs.

“I just, I want her to stay this age. Where she wants her days with us, and her uncles. And that Nana is the best thing since sliced bread because she listens like no one else does.” More laughter followed from the two of you.

It was easy to lapse into silence, your head resting on his chest as the two of you danced around the porch. Neither of you noticed the curtain twitching.

As the opening chords of Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling In Love began playing, you found yourself smiling as his head tilted down and he began to sing along softly.

You enjoyed the moment of peace that seemed to wash over the two of you, nothing but you and him, dancing together on Calum’s back porch and him serenading you.

“You best pull out all the stops for the wedding.” You finally murmured and he laughed, his lips meeting yours softly.

“You know I will.”

—

As you adjusted to being engaged, you found yourself almost brimming with a lot more confidence.

It was certainly noticed and appreciated by Ashton, especially on the days where your little girl spent the day with one of her uncles. They were god sends during the summer holidays, especially on the days that Ashton had to be elsewhere and she wasn’t able to tag along.

You’d had a sit down dinner with Shay and Marc to celebrate your engagement.

“So now that you’ve announced to the world that you two are engaged, are there any solid agreements on a wedding date?” The two of you traded small smiles and Marc chuckled.

“This is where they tell us they eloped.” You gave Marc a very scandalised look, prompting both Shay and Ashton to laugh.

“Not eloping, no. But the boys have an album coming out, followed by another world tour. So we’ve been looking at dates and realised that if we get married before or during the tour, it’ll feel like a rushed honeymoon.” You explained and Ashton smiled softly.

“So we figured, we’ve been together this long, why not a little while longer? So we’re looking into dates the following spring.” Ashton explained to the almost bewildered couple.

“So not next spring, but the following spring?” Shay clarified and you nodded. “Well at least they can’t say you’re rushing into the wedding.” This set off a round of laughter.

When you got home later that night, with the promise of another get together with Shay and Marc soon, you took advantage of the quiet house.

Or at least, you were going to until a wave of nausea hit you and had you running to the bathroom, that nights dinner showing up in the toilet bowl.

You knew then that the mood for the night was ruined, giving a pouting look to Ashton after you’d cleaned your teeth and gotten changed.

“It’s rare we get a child free house.” You grumbled at him, making him laugh.

“I know, but if you’re throwing up your dinner, lets not tempt fate, shall we?” And you knew you couldn’t argue with that.

So when you woke up the next morning, long after Ashton had kissed you goodbye, a sudden thought hit you as you scrambled for you phone, checking the health app.

Your period due date had come and gone. And instead of morning sickness when you’d been pregnant the first time around tended to happen in the evening.

“Okay, deep breaths. Buy a few tests, see if you throw up tonight and tomorrow. Once is chance, twice is coincidence. Third time’s a pattern.” A soft pang hit your heart at the words your mom had often told you.

You carried on with your day, locking away the internal panic as you added the pregnancy tests to the grocery run you did.

When you got home, you shoved them in the cabinet under the sink and distracted yourself from the way your thoughts were going.

The process worked until  you were throwing up again, and Ashton was running up the stairs in worry.

“Are you sure you don’t have any kind of bug, love?” His fingers pressed a cool, damp cloth to your forehead and you sighed in relief.

“Not too sure. Do you think Mike could keep her another night? If it is a bug, I don’t want her catching it.”

“I’ll text him now. She’ll be overjoyed she gets another night with him.” This made you giggle before the wave of nausea hit and your head was over the toilet bowl once more.

The next day, Ashton stayed home all day. He kept you on dry toast with lemon and ginger tea which seemed to be doing wonders for your stomach.

But when you were running for the bathroom once more, even after having only had toast throughout the day, you felt your heart flip at the possible reality of being pregnant.

So once you shooed Ashton out of the bathroom, you got the three tests out, taking a slow, deep breath as you peed on the sticks and waited.

“Babe, are you okay?” You opened the door, and pulled Ashton inside.

“I wasn’t too sure, but mom always say ‘first time is chance, second is a coincidence and third time’s a pattern,” you rambled to his confused face, “so I worked out that my period is late and I’m suffering with the same sickness I suffered the first time around and I went ahead and bought some pregnancy tests and-”

Ashton covered your lips with his hand and you stopped talking.

“Breathe, angel.” And you did.

It took a few times to slow your heart rate down and you could feel your heart and stomach flutter in nerves and anticipation.

“I’m suffering the same symptoms I had when I was pregnant the first time around. So I got some tests. I wanted to wait because, it’s stupid but mom always said-”

“First time is chance, second is a coincidence and third time’s a pattern. You wanted to be sure it wasn’t just food poisoning.” You nodded at his words.

“How much longer do we need to wait?”

“They should be done. Ash, I’m scared.” You finally blurted out and he took his hands in yours.

“We’re in this together. I promise.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Taking in a deep breath, you looked down to the test and you felt your heart stutter.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant with Ashton’s child.

“Baby?” You whispered, your eyes turning to him and you could see the tears gathered in his eyes and panic flooded you for a second before his lips curved up into the biggest smile you’d seen him wear.

His gaze turned from the tests to you and you couldn’t help yourself. You were grinning with him.

“We’re gonna be parents again.” He whispered and you couldn’t stop the sob of joy as his arms picked you up, laughter bubbling from both of you.

“We’re gonna be parents again!” Came from your lips this time, and as he danced around with you in his arms, you felt lighter than ever.

He placed you on your feet, immediately falling to his knees afterwards and his fingers pushed up under your bed shirt, caressing the skin softly, his eyes studying the soft skin with an awe like look upon his features.

“Hiya peanut,” he whispered so softly that you almost missed it, “your mommy and daddy are gonna take real good care of you.” His lips pressed against your stomach and you giggled through your tears, running your fingers through his hair.

He tilted his head back, a few tears falling as he took you in.

“You are an amazing woman.”

“I’m still the same woman, just pregnant.” You giggled again, leaning down to meet his lips with yours.

“That still makes you amazing. Holy shit, we’re going to be parents again.”

—

tag list: @cals-babylons , @plainwhiteluke , @calumspeachy , @wrappedaroundcal , @holidayhood , @mistletoemichael , @merryashmas , @hereforlukescruff , @astroashtonio , @catchinqcalum , @roselukes , @5saucewho, @babylon-uncrowned , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind , @therainydays4 , @asht0ns-world , @silverchainbee , @hidd3nfangirl , @doodleasouarus , @hemmomfg , @mylovehes , @songforhema , @kinglyhood , @youngblood199456 , @makecoffeenotwars , @5squash , @negative-love , @softboycal , @you-of-ghost , @dannisos , @balsamichood , @meetyoutheremgc , @lmao5sosimagines , @lietoash , @aw-hawkeye , @biggestslutforcalum , @drummerboy794 , @itkindajusthappenedreally, @mycollectionofnuts , @coreybryanttrash , @abitloudforanaccousticset , @boytoynamedcalum , @teampreator , @dukehoods , @hoe4hemmo , @calumhampton , @sassy-asht0n , @toofadedtofight , @gigglyirwin , @blue-skies-are-alright , @hearts-to-the-sky , @tiddlerrr , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you , @thesensationalcalum , @ashtxns-hxe , @cakeassx-blog , @hopelessxcynic , @5secondsof-im-so-dead , @baby-loba , @captivatingcal , @rosesfromcth , @esoltis280 , @cal-puddies , @rosecoloredash , @jpgluke , @cathartichaoss , 

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter eight: $192

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

holy shit do NOT expect updates from me this fast after november ends!!!!! i'm frantically doing nano as fast as possible and i am MAJORLY fucking myself over. after this is posted i'm writing 4 essays and catching up on readings (whoops)

this chapter has sooo much going on but a huge thank you to both sarah and flor for making it possible with your very different but very good ideas <3

warnings: depression, anxiety, references to suicide/past suicide attempts/self harm, some poor eating habits, a few mentions of drugs

enjoy and please read the end note on ao3~

High school is bulshit. Connor has known this since he first stepped into the annoyingly bright hallways freshman year because some asshole decided skylights were a good idea. It’s six hours of bullshit, with a bullshit twenty three minute lunch thrown somewhere in the middle.

It’s a lot of bullshit.

Somehow, having a friend makes it…less bullshit. A fake friend. Evan makes everything suck a little less. There’s something to look forward to when he shows up at ass o’clock in the morning. There’s a reason to push through the day, even if it’s just seeing Evan’s smile as he puts books back into his locker. Tuesdays are arguably the best because Connor gets a solid twenty extra minutes with Evan at lunch.

Which in and of itself is its own can of bullshit. A can that Connor should not have opened, but here they fucking are.

There are a few times where Connor genuinely considers telling Evan about his feelings. Platonic and romantic. And then he laughs at himself because no fucking way. On what planet would Evan Hansen like him in any capacity?

Connor is lucky that he’s been able to hold on to Evan as a fake friend. He’s not going to push his luck.

Every time he smiles at Evan he pushes his luck a little more. Every time he asks Evan to hang out without having a legit reason for it he pushes his luck. Every time he thinks about Evan—

Connor focuses on friendship. He focuses on friendship because he will settle for friendship. He would give anything to be Evan’s real friend.

It’s ridiculous but it’s true.

Connor is in way too fucking deep.

“Where have you been?” Larry asks from the couch when Connor opens the front door.

Connor rolls his eyes. “I was with Evan.” And Jared. It was weird but not the worst. Jared kept claiming he could beat Evan at Mario Kart and kept losing and had to buy the pizza. Even if all Connor got out of those three hours was the priceless look on Jared’s face when Connor rolled his pizza up like a burrito with the toppings on the outside, it was worth it.

“Hm.”

Connor shuts the door and pulls off his boots. He drops them by Zoe’s converse. “I told Zoe where I was.”

“So you’re talking to your sister again?”

Connor pauses. He was going to go grab a drink, but apparently not. “Why do you care?”

Larry lowers his phone. “Because she’s your sister.”

“…and?”

“How long have you known Evan?” Larry asks.

Connor frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer the question, Connor.”

Connor grimaces at the sharp tone. “I don’t fucking know—”

“Language.”

“—like seven months? Why does it matter?”  

Larry slides his phone into his pocket. “And how long have you known Zoe?”

Connor scoffs. “Seriously? Are you about to yell at me for spending time with my friend?”

Larry crosses his arms. “He’s always around.”

“Yeah, because he’s my friend and I like him? Zoe’s with her friends all the time, and you don’t say shit about that.” Connor walks into the dining room. If Larry wants to have this conversation, he either has to follow Connor or yell.

“Connor,” Larry says warningly.

“Maybe Zoe doesn’t want to spend time with me,” Connor snaps. Because Zoe doesn’t. And that’s fine. Connor has made her life hell so he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to have anything to do with him.

Larry stalks into the dining room and sometimes Connor forgets that Larry is where he gets his height. “That’s not the point.”

Connor throws his arm out. “Then what is the point!?”

“You have a better relationship with Evan than with your sister.”

Connor stares at him. “Why does this matter.” For some reason this hurts. It stings like he’s just submerged papercut covered hands in lemon juice. It hurts too much for fire to keep burning.

“You’ve known him for less than a year,” Larry says, voice low and dangerous.

“You think you’d be happy that I’ve found an actual friend,” Connor says numbly. The lie burns his mouth.

“You spend far more time with him than Zoe—”

“He actually wants to be around me!” Connor protests. Because he will listen to his father tear him down, but he won’t listen to him say anything about Evan. Not Evan. “Zoe—”

“Is your sister!” Larry yells. Connor feels his blood run cold. “When was the last time you were actually a brother to her!?”

Connor feels sick. The world cracks and crumbles around the edges and his insides freeze and shatter. He laughs. It hurts his chest. “When was the last time you were a father to me?” he whispers.

Larry’s expression doesn’t change. It stays hard. Cold and distant.

When was the last time— 

Connor holds eye contact as long as he can. But he’s broken and the world around him is numbing and dying.

So he leaves.

He pushes past Larry, dropping his eyes to the floor with his tongue heavy in his mouth. He shoves his boots on and throws the door open.

“Where are you going?” Larry yells. Because he can keep doing this. He can do this for hours.

Connor looks out at their driveway. The dying grass and dead plants in neat rows. Brown and wilted and dying and dead. “Why do you care?” he asks.

He slams the door behind him.

It feels good to have a door to slam.

—«·»—

His feet bring him to the playground. There aren’t many places to go in this town.

It’s getting dark. There’s a singular light by the school that still turns on with the other streetlights. It illuminates parts of the playground in a hazy glow.

It doesn’t look real.

Connor sits under the stairs that lead up to the slide. If he closes his eyes, he can bring himself back to elementary school. He digs his hand into the wood chips, cold and jagged and stabbing at his skin. He can pretend. He can hear screaming and laughter and kids running up the stairs trying not to slip. Kids hiding under here, whispering secrets to each other. Someone throws the woodchips at someone else and gets yelled at. They play clapping games and tic-tac-toe in the dirt. They pull up grass and throw it in the air and fall off the monkeybars and fight over the swings and stand under the trees and play in the mud—

Connor takes a shaky breath as hot tears run down his cheek. He scrubs them away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

He hates crying. He hates how it makes him feel. He hates how tears feel, he hates the runny nose, he hates the sobbing and the ragged breathing and how it makes him feel weak.

He sniffs and wipes away more tears. God, he needs to get high. But he refuses to go home and his stash is running out because he’s low on cash because he’s been spending it all on Evan.

Evan.

Connor flexes his hands — they’re cramped from the cold and from the fists he’s been squeezing them in — and pulls his phone out of his pocket. At least it hasn’t shut off from the cold yet, that’s happened to him before and it’s annoying to deal with.

From: Connor To: Evan      tell zoe im fine just needed to blow off steam      emphasize im not with you

He’s surprised he can type actual words let alone with no spelling mistakes. His hands are cold and shaking. He presses his phone against his forehead and takes a slow breath.

Fuck.

Every atom in his body wants to walk to Evan’s right now. He just wants to be near Evan. There’s something about Evan that’s undeniably calming, even though Evan could be described as nervous energy barely held together in a human form. Something about Evan that makes him feel less at war with himself.

But he already used up his time with Evan for the day. Even just texting Evan feels like too much.

His phone buzzes against his forehead.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok  j ust did!!      Is everyhting ok??? Do you need ot talk ??

Connor stares at the message. He kind of want to cry again, which fucking sucks. And he told Evan that he would tell him if something was wrong but— no.

From: Connor To: Evan      no not now      maybe later

Connor stares at their conversations.

He asked Evan about cats at four in the morning once. Evan hadn’t responded until he woke up two hours later — good — but when he did he had a bunch of random cat facts. And pictures of Jared’s cat to share.

It felt like friendship. That’s what friendship feels like, right? Connor doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. But he thinks, somehow, he’s broken things. Whatever they are. Because he’s too attached. He’s too involved. Everything is too much.

He digs his fingers into the woodchips again.

Connor can’t decide if it’s better if Evan likes him or hates him.

—«·»—

Zoe texts him. He knows because his phone buzzes and he looks down and he sees her name right above Evan’s. Connor’s phone is at 4%. He turns on airplane mode and locks it without reading any of their texts.

Connor rests his chin on his knees and stares ahead into the darkness.

He doesn’t want to walk home. He knows he has to or he’ll probably freeze to death but that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

No, that’s a bad idea.

Connor stretches his legs out in front of him. They feel weird, he’s spent so long with them pulled up against his chest. If he stands he might fall over.

He can’t feel his hands when he gets up off the ground. He climbs out from under the slide and holds onto the railing as his legs remember how they’re supposed to work.

He’s tired.

Connor squints into the darkness as he leaves the playground. The streets are so poorly lit in this area that he’s probably going to fall and break something. That’s what happens when people don’t use an area. They don’t care for it. And then some asshole teenager breaks his fucking leg walking home in the dark.

His phone would probably die before he could call for help too.

Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts walking. He knows he should probably pay more attention, but he barely pays attention to the few cars on the roads as he makes his way down the sidewalk. As he gets into a more residential area, it gets a little brighter.

He looks up to cross a street and locks eyes with a doe standing in someone’s yard. It stares at him for a long moment before bounding away into the darkness.

Connor looks both ways and crosses the street, stepping around a puddle that’s starting to freeze over.

He stops when he gets to the bottom of his driveway.

If Larry tries to talk to him when he goes inside, he’ll leave. Connor’s already decided. He doesn’t know where he’ll go, but he’ll leave.

Connor huffs. He really just wants his bed right now.

The door is unlocked when he tries the doorknob. He frowns and slowly pushes the door open. A lamp is on in the living room, though the rest of the rooms are dark.

He quietly takes his boots off and closes and locks the door as softly as possible.

“Connor?” Cynthia asks as soon as he takes another step into the house.

Connor sighs. “Yeah it’s me.”

She gets up from the couch and hurries over to where he’s standing by the front door. “I was so worried,” she whispers, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Oh, Con, you’re freezing.”

“It is November,” Connor tries to joke. The singular stings.

The crease in Cynthia’s forehead gets deeper.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Zoe said Evan texted her— were you with him?”

Connor pulls away. “No,” he says sharply. “I wasn’t. I don’t spend every fucking moment with him, god.” He walks toward the kitchen. His hands are still ice and he needs something to warm them.

“I never said you did.” Cynthia follows him. “Your father—”

“Don’t.”

Cynthia sighs. “Connor, we can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”

“I’m going to try.” He debates making coffee, but all that will get from his mom is a disapproving look. He reaches for Zoe’s mint hot chocolate instead.

Cynthia makes a frustrated noise. “Where did you go, Connor?”

“Out.” He grabs the first mug he sees. He resists the urge to drop it when he realizes it’s one of Larry’s, old and orange and so well used that the logo has washed off the side of it.

“Were you out smoking again?”

“No.” He almost wants to laugh. He wishes. He takes the milk out of the fridge and pours it into the mug. He’s too tired to do anything more than microwave milk right now.

“Are you sure?”

Connor sighs and turns to Cynthia with the mug in his left hand. “Mom, you would know if I had been high tonight. Weed smells? Remember?” He brushes past her and puts the mug in the microwave.

Cynthia watches him with sad eyes. She always looks sad and it’s Connor’s fault which is… It’s kind of shitty. “I was terrified,” she says softly.

Connor grimaces.

“I kept thinking… I was so worried that maybe you…”

If she starts crying— Connor doesn’t actually know what he’ll do. “I was fine,” he promises. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“Would you tell me if you were going to?”

Connor can’t meet her eyes. He watches the numbers count down on the microwave. He pulls the door open before it can beep. Cynthia sighs as he puts too much hot chocolate powder in the milk. Connor stirs carefully, trying not to spill all over the counter.

“You can always talk to me, sweetheart,” Cynthia says, squeezing his shoulder. Connor shrugs and she presses a kiss to his cheek. “We can talk in the morning. Sleep well.”

Connor stares down into his hot chocolate as she leaves the kitchen.

He has the strong urge to just sit on the floor and waste away.

He takes his hot chocolate up to his room and sits in bed and watches the Great British Baking Show on his laptop. It feels weirdly fake.

At some point he falls asleep. It all feels the same.

“Connor. Connor. Connor!”

Connor groans and rolls over so he’s not facing his doorway.

“Connor, if you don’t get up now, you’re walking to school.”

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter. “‘m not going,” he mumbles.

Zoe grabs his shoulder and shakes him. “Get up!”

Connor shoves her hand away. “Go away!”

“I’m not dealing with your shit—”

“I’m not going!” Connor twists to glare at her. “Fuck off, I’m not going.”

Zoe stares at him. She’s all ready. Her hair is braided over one shoulder, her makeup is done. Connor can’t even remember when she started wearing makeup. He doesn’t know when Zoe grew up.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps. “I’m not going to school.”

She takes a step away. “Okay. Okay. Fine. You’re not going.” She keeps looking at him. Why is she looking at him like that? “Go back to sleep.” She slips out of the room and Connor keep looking at the space she occupied.

He hears the front door open and close. He pulls the covers over his head and goes back to sleep.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up a little bit before noon.

His head hurts and his mouth tastes like death. He stumbles out of bed just to brush his teeth. He probably wouldn’t move other than the fact that his mouth is gross.

While he’s looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he mindlessly brushes his teeth, he realizes he never changed out of yesterday’s closes. He’s still wearing ripped jeans and an old sweatshirt.

His phone is still sitting on his desk with 2% left. Connor plugs it in and turns off airplane mode and puts on sweatpants that are a little too big and a hoodie that has old paint stains on it. Then he gets back in bed.

He watches videos on his laptop, not really paying attention to what’s on the screen. He looks away in surprise when his phone vibrates. He picks it up and skims through the messages. He never read the ones from last night.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok IM gonna hol d you to that ok??

From: Z To: C      Why the fuck did Evan just text me????      Where are you?      What happened all I heard was Dad yelling and then you were gone      Connor      Don’t fucking ignore me

Missed call and voicemail from Z

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Pick up asshole

Missed call from Z

From: Evan To: Connor      Umm Zoes freaking ou ton me?      Connr what happened wheer are y ou ?

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Fuck you      Ok?      Seriously fuck you      You’re killing mom      I hope you’re fucking happy      If we find you dead in a ditch somewhere I swear

From: Evan To: Connor      Pl ease answ er some on e

From: Z To: C      I heard you and mom in the kitchen. Fuck you. You can’t do this      You’re terrifying Connor      You scare the shit out of me      I know you won’t respond tonight. I’ll tell Evan you’re ok      This shit isn’t funny

From: Evan To: Connor      Zo ejust text dme Im glad youre ok but I wsih you answered your phone      I know thing s get hard but please let people know yoru esafe because otherwise peoplestart to think the wrs t and then they bother you and dont let you leave their sight      We just want the bes t for you we want you to be ok      Ill see you tomorrwo

From: Z To: C      Just told Evan you won’t be here today. I’m guessing you still haven’t responded to him.      Maybe try to be a good friend.      Or even just a friend.

From: Evan To: Connor      Zoe said you werent coming in today?? A reyou ok?      Thats hte worst question to ask IM so sorry      Please talk ot me Connor      Its importan t      Im coming over after school      I knw thats invading on your personal space but I need to know if youre ok andif youre not going to answer texts I don tknow how else to reach you      I have to help alana with stuco stuff because no on eelse wants to hang posters but Ill be there afterward even if its only for like two minutes can we please talk??

“I’m home!” Zoe shouts.

Connor glances up to the top of his phone to see the time. Shit. It’s already two. He doesn’t know how he lost so much time to YouTube. Which means Evan will be here…soon.

From: Connor To: Evan      ok

“Connor?” Zoe calls out.

Connor stares at her texts and feels his stomach turn. “What?” he yells back.

“Come get your boots! Mom wants us to move ours shoes!”

He scowls and lays back down. “Fuck off!”

She yells at him to get them again, but he just puts headphones in and ignores her. He lays in bed and stares at the wall and listens to music that is way too loud. It would be nice to feel something right now. He distantly hears Zoe yell again and tries to turn the music up louder. The volume doesn’t increase and he makes a face and does a silent eulogy for his eardrums.

Zoe shouts his name again and Connor sighs and yanks out his earbuds. He tried. “What?!”

He can’t make out whatever she says next, but then she shouts, “You’re a dick!”

“Not fucking news,” he snaps. He’s about to put his headphones back in when Evan appears in his doorway. He’s still wearing his backpack and his arms are filled with food and there’s something tucked under his arm.

Connor stares at him. “What the fuck.”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “No dishes in the sink. We realized you probably didn’t eat today.” He looks down at the food he’s holding. There are chips and a container of strawberries and a loaf of bread and he’s carefully balancing a bowl on top of the strawberries.

“Why didn’t you—”

“Zoe had to run,” Evan says. “Something about an emergency piano job?”

Connor squints. “I forgot she plays piano.”

Evan nods. “Someone’s accompaniment is sick so I think she has to fill in. Can you, uh…”

“Oh, right.” Connor gets out of bed and takes the bowl from Evan. It’s filled with leftover mac n cheese. He puts it on the desk and then takes the chips.

“A-anyway, Zoe had to run and two trips are for suckers.” Evan puts the strawberries and bread down on the desk.

Connor rolls his eyes. “Okay.”

“These are also for you.” Evan pulls a stack of mail out from under his arm. “Looks like mostly college stuff.”

“Fucking college board,” Connor mutters. “Never should’ve taken the SATs.”

“Yeah, same. They won’t leave me alone. Oh! And Alana gave me notes for you for english. She started saying something about like…chiasmic?”

“Chiasmus,” Connor mutters, looking through the mail. Nothing he cares about. Great. He can set it on fire.

“Yeah that’s it!” Evan takes off his backpack and puts it on the floor to take out a notebook.

Connor stares at him. “Evan?”

Evan looks up at him. “Yeah?”

“Are… Why are you wearing my boots?”

“Oh.” Evan stands up straighter and lifts one of his feet. “Zoe kept yelling at you to bring your boots upstairs. Figured if I was bringing you all this I just…take them too?”

Connor stares at him. Evan looks kind of ridiculous. Connor’s all too familiar black combat boots are paired with Evan’s usual khakis and a gray sweatshirt with a striped polo peaking out from under it. The boots go up a little too high on Evan’s shins which adds to the look and Connor is now noticing that they give Evan a few inches that he definitely does not actually have.

“Is this what it’s like to be tall?” Evan asks with a smile.

Connor snorts. “No, Hansen. It’s not.”

Evan shrugs. “I’ll take it.”

“Aren’t those kind of big for you?” Connor’s mind is still trying to process this. Evan is wearing his shoes. That’s definitely not something he’s thought about before. Or ever considered. He thinks his brain might be resetting.

“Oh god yes.” Evan sits down on Connor’s bed and unlaces one of the boots. “It’s actually a miracle I didn’t like…fall down your stairs or something. That would’ve been embarrassing.”

“And painful.”

“That too.” Evan pulls off the boot. He’s still wearing his old sneakers.

Connor opens and closes his mouth a few times. “Hey, Ev?”

Evan starts untying the other boot. “Yup?”

“You’re wearing…your shoes in my boots?”

Evan looks Connor in the eye. “I already told you, two trips are for suckers.”  

Connor laughs. It’s weird to laugh right now, like it’s the wrong emotion to feel. But he laughs and smiles at Evan because there is something about Evan wearing sneakers in his boots that’s ridiculous but also makes Connor’s stomach fill with butterflies. “Okay, Ev. Whatever you say.” He falls onto his front on the bed next to Evan. The moment feels too light. And then all of Evan’s texts come back at him in a crushing wave.

Connor grimaces. “Um…sorry for last night.”  

Evan glances back at him over his shoulder. “I…” He rubs a hand over his face. “You scared us.” He says it softly, like a secret, and stares at his feet.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Connor admits. “I just… Fuck, I just needed to get out. And then my phone was almost dead and I didn’t want to talk to people… I fucked up.”

Evan nods. He wordlessly pulls his sneakers off and then crosses his knees on the bed.

“I had a fight with Larry it was…” Connor rolls onto his back and sits up. “I needed to be alone, I guess. I wasn’t really thinking about other people when I left. I didn’t even bring my house key.”

Evan scoots further onto the bed. “What did you fight about?”

Connor searches Evan’s face. His eyes trail over Evan’s freckles. They dot his face like stars. “Nothing serious,” he mumbles. “It just got out of hand.”

Evan leans back on his hands. “Is that why you didn’t come to school today?”

Connor runs a hand through his hair. “I guess. I just… Zoe woke me up and getting out of bed just seemed like the worst fucking option ever. I think I yelled at her, but I barely remember waking up.” He grabs the bowl of mac n cheese off the desk. Food. Right.

Evan nods. “I… There are days like that. Where getting up makes me want to cry.” He holds out a hand. “Can I have the chips?”

“That sucks.” Connor hands over the bag of chips and continues eating mac n cheese. The sooner he finishes this the sooner he can go back to not being a person.

“Yeah, kind of.”

Connor sighs. “Aren’t we a fucking pair.” He pushes pasta around the bowl.

Evan tilts his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles.

Connor frowns. “What is it?”

Evan shakes his head. “Nothing. I thought of something, but it’s not important.”

“Are you sure?”

Evan nods and reaches for Connor’s laptop. “Let’s just watch something and pretend our lives aren’t horrible.”

Connor watches Evan carefully as Evan opens YouTube and scrolls through the recommended videos until he finds one that isn’t too weird sounding. “Yeah that sounds like a good plan.” He puts his bowl back on the desk— he only had a few bites but his stomach is kind of done with food.

Connor takes the laptop from Evan and scoots over so they can both lean against the pillows. He rests the laptop on his knees. Evan’s arm presses against Connor’s and Connor tries not to think about it. He tries to focus on the random video that Evan chose. It’s probably funny or something.

But he can’t. Because Evan is here.

Evan is warm and curled toward Connor and his hair smells nice and he’s leaning his head against Connor’s shoulder to see the screen better. And Connor’s heart is doing this weird thing where it feels like it’s being squeezed which is honestly so fucking rude.

Evan sighs and moves a little closer.

Yup. This is hell.  

—«·»—

“Connor!”

Connor’s heart races as he wakes with a jerk. He’s about to move when he notices the weight on his torso. He looks down to see Evan’s head resting on his chest.

Connor stops breathing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy—

“Connor?”

Connor groans and squints into the bright light of the hallway. When did he fall asleep? When did it get so fucking dark out? Why is Evan sleeping on him? Why is Zoe always so loud? “Wha?”

“You aren’t dead.” A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. Connor squints at her. “Get your ass downstairs, we’re about to—”

Evan sits up, rubbing his eyes.

Zoe stares at him. Her eyes go from Connor to Evan. Connor wants to go back to sleep. He wants Evan cuddled against him because fuck that was really nice.

“Zoe?” Evan asks, voice soft.

Connor is not mentally equipped for this.

“…thought Evan went home,” Zoe says slowly.

“No,” Connor says. “Nap.”

“Right. Right.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Cool. Okay.” She clears her throat. “We were going to…” She gestures over her shoulder. “You know…”  

Connor narrows his eyes as he tries to figure out what she means.

“Friday night? Shabbat?”

Connor props himself up on his elbows. “Oh. Right.” He looks to Evan. Evan’s hair is messy and sticking up in all directions and it’s making Connor’s heart do weird things.

Zoe follows his gaze. “Uh… Evan can…join us? If he…?” She gives Connor a desperate look. “Or stay here? Or sleep…? Um…” She raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor shakes his head.

“Uh…I don’t really…” Evan clears his throat. “My mom and I— we don’t really do anything for Shabbat at home…because… My mom works a lot so we don’t— I don’t really…know what I’m supposed to do?”

Tension seems to leave Zoe as she smiles at Evan. “Don’t worry about it, we can show you. Connor doesn’t know what he’s doing either.”

Connor flips her off and throws off his covers. “I won’t be insulted in my own fucking home,” he mutters.

Evan crawls over Connor’s legs to get out of bed. “You sure I w-won’t ruin it?” he asks Zoe, tugging on his shirt.

“Swear,” she says, drawing an x over her heart. “We haven’t set the house on fire yet, so you’ll be fine.”

Evan steps past her into the hallway and Zoe immediately raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor gives her a look.

“What is this,” she hisses into his ear.

“What do you mean?” he whispers back.

She gestures to Evan. “When did you two get together?”

Connor jerks away. “What?”

Zoe stares at him. “You’re—”

“No!” He lowers his voice. “Zoe what the fuck—”

“I don’t know! He gets you to eat and sleep what the fuck am I supposed to think?”

“Not that?”

“A-are you two coming?” Evan asks from the top of the stairs.

Connor and Zoe exchange a look.

“Later,” Zoe says.

“No.” Connor walks over to Evan and tugs on his sleeve. “Let’s go.”

Zoe squeezes past them on the stairs, flicking the back of Connor’s head as she goes. “Mom! Evan’s joining us!”

Evan grabs Connor’s hand at the foot of the stairs. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” he whispers with wide eyes.

“It’s fine,” Connor promises. “Just stand next to me and do what I do. But you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Evan looks toward the kitchen. “I… It’ll be fine. Yeah. I-I want to do this.”

Connor gives him a small smile and pulls him into the dining room. Cynthia places down another glass as they walk in and smiles at Evan. Evan nods and fiddles with his hands and Connor resists the annoyingly strong urge to hold his hand.

Zoe passes around her purple kippot from a drawer near the sink, and Connor wonders how long it’ll take before his falls off this time. He watches Evan read the inscription inside of the date of her bat mitzvah, before nervously pressing it on his head.

They stand behind their chairs at the table, small glasses of grape juice — or in Larry’s case, red wine — next to their plates. Connor watches as Cynthia lights the candles and waves her hands over them before covering her eyes so she can’t see the flames as she sings a short prayer for the candles.

Connor tries to concentrate on the Hebrew instead of the glow reflected in Evan’s eyes. Those are bad thoughts. And it’s also not the time for them.

Cynthia moves to her seat and lifts her wine glass. Connor nudges Evan as the rest of the family does the same. Evan shoots him a thankful look and a tiny smile. They keep the glasses aloft as Cynthia makes Kiddush, only awkwardly joining in at the end of the blessing.

Connor remembers Zoe learning the other parts of it for her bat mitzvah, but she probably feels too uncomfortable to sing along with Evan here. Not that Evan is the most awkward and uncomfortable part of their dysfunctional family. 

Everyone takes a sip of their drinks — Evan a little belatedly — and Cynthia removes the ornate cover from her handmade loaves of challah on the cutting board. Connor remembers when she used to buy challah for them, ordered specially from a bakery, shiny and with white flour. Sometimes on holidays they had raisins.

Now she bakes them gluten free and several weeks in advance, but at least he remembers the blessing for once (the food was really the part of Hebrew school he looked forward to), so he joins in quietly with everyone, trying not to focus on Evan’s wavery stuttering. The bread is sliced and the cutting board is passed around, and they all take their seats.

Connor hears an audible sigh of relief from Zoe. Evan looks to Connor and gives him a half smile. He’s gripping the hem of his shirt in his hands under the table. Connor smiles back.

Zoe is still right, they haven’t burned the house down.

Dinner is awkward. Honestly, Connor wasn’t expecting anything else. It’s awkward and quiet and the little talking that is done is done by Zoe and Cynthia. Connor does his best to just not look in Larry’s direction. He will ignore this as long as he possibly can. Next to him, Evan is tense and keeps his eyes mostly on his plate. Sometimes him and Connor make eye contact and Evan will give him a tiny smile and Connor’s heart tries out a fun new pattern. Evan keeps touching his kippah, sometimes adjusting it, eyebrows furrowing whenever he does. He’s probably worried about it slipping or falling into the soup or something and honestly, Connor relates.

They survive. That’s the important part.

“Told you it’d be fine,” Connor says as they go back up to his bedroom. Evan probably has to go home at some point but Connor is very pointedly not thinking about that.

Evan laughs. “I thought my kippah was going to fall off. I’d probably find a way to make it catch fire.”

“I’d be impressed.”

Connor eyes the stack of snacks on his desk before grabbing the carton of strawberries and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Connor holds out a strawberry and Evan takes it while saying, “You know, we just ate.” Connor shrugs. “Fruit is healthy.”

“I mean you aren’t wrong.” Evan drops down on the bed next to Connor.

Connor stares at him for a few moments. He’s probably got some sort of embarrassingly soft look on his face but it’s fine. Then he remembers that Evan is here. “Oh shit, I have money here some—”

“No,” Evan interrupts.

Connor shakes his head. “We agreed—”

“Fuck Jared’s list,” Evan says. He glances to the doorway and lowers his voice. “I wanted to be here, Con. I wanted to see you. D-don’t… You don’t have to pay me.”

“Are you sure?” Connor asks softly. He feels…like he’s using Evan but worse. Because this is not the agreement.

Evan nods. “I’m sure.”

Connor runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “Okay,” he says, stomach turning. It’s okay. It’s fine. “Okay.” 

[kiingmango]

11 questions meme

rules: 

1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

I was tagged by @notbrogues @thisbirdhadflown and  @embersofimagination  thank you! (under a cut because this will be looong)

notbrogues questions:

1. Describe your least favorite character

Okay so if I’m being completely honest, my least favorite characters all really come down to just plain irritating behavior. Daisy in Bones has a sort of insensitivity to her that bothers me, and Sophie in the BFG due to her almost blunt treatment of the BFG.

2. A go-to comfort meal/snack/treat

Noodles and Rice because I’m the most Korean to ever Korean

3. Describe a perfect vacation, with no limit on funds or how long you can stay there.

Honestly I would probably take a vacation in Europe, touring all the sites there and traveling between Germany and France and England with only a car (Is this how people travel between countries though? I feel as if Ive been misinformed)

4. Do you listen to podcasts? If so, what are you favourites?

I have to say that I do not listen to Podcasts. I actually don’t understand what a Podcast is exactly?

5. One widely accepted fanon headcanon that you just don’t agree with?

The name of Eggsy’s younger sister. When i first came in I thought it was canon but now I’m kind of eh about it. What if they change her name in the second movie? 

6. One story/movie/song/album/piece of art that resonated with you and that you will never be able to forget?

Really for me I have read multiple first-hand account stories of people experiencing an array of different situations. that I won’t forget that I probably couldn’t choose one. (I find it hard to emotionally connect with music, and I’m not really a big art person)

7. If you have a day off, no responsibilities or pressing matters to attend to: what are you doing for the rest of the day?

I’m probably playing some soft music, reading for a while with a comfy blanket. Alternatively, I’m hanging out with my family 

8. Favourite past trend that you are most nostalgic for?

When everyone had DS’s (I’m pretty sure this is a trend..?) IDK I miss when I could whip out my DS and play Mario Kart and then switch to message my friend to come battle me. Technically, I could do that on my phone but my DS was pink and I had a cute carrier for it

9. What’s a hobby/skill you’ve always wanted to learn?

How to defend myself. Like i can throw a basic punch, and fight off someone if I need to but I’ve always wanted to learn how to box, or do karate or something super cool. (Idk don’t ask me I’m strange)

10. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Done with school, and maybe with a family. I’ve gotten quite a few of my life goals done and now I’m ready to settle with someone :)

11. What was your first fandom? First OTP? First NOTP? Any memorable experiences from those early days?

My first ever fandom was Avatar the Last Airbender. My first ever OTP was Katara and Zuko, and my first ever NOTP was in the Avengers fandom, being Cap and Natasha. I just could only ever see them as friends, or in a brother/sister way

thisbirdhadflown’s questions:

1. We all did embarrassing things as teenagers. Share a story!

So there was a lot of fake piercings in sixth grade that I made from key chains and a nail file.

2. What is a headcanon for one of your OTPs?

Im going to go with Hartwin on this one. For them it’s a lot of lover’s squabbles about not wanting to do the dishes, folding laundry, and then kisses and smiles and deciding they would do it together. 

3. One book that had a huge influence on you?

I read this book called Wonder by RJ Palacio that I found helped me when I was younger to understand people who were different from me, and it opened some doors for me to understanding people’s disabilities and what they needed. 

4. Who is one misunderstood character?

Probably Natasha Romanoff. I feel like because people who watch the movies have such little information on her background that she’s easily misinterpreted. 

5. What are your pet peeves?

Lying. I mean, sometimes lying is necessary, but most of the time if you’re lying to me I’ll be very annoyed. 

6. One thing you wish you knew as a child/teen that you know now?

That I can wear what I want and it doesn’t matter what other people think. I struggle with it even today, but back then it was a lot of loose t-shirts and pants. Now, I feel more comfortable wearing dresses and crop tops. 

7. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

I’m comfortable not being famous, and really I have little desire to. But if I was famous I would have to say I would want to be famous as a movie producer, or script writer. 

8. Best part about getting older?

I’d have to say independence. 

9. One thing you really enjoy and one thing you really dislike about fandom?

So I am going to base my answer off Kingsman since that’s my main fandom right now. I really enjoy the talent and creativity, and the people in it are all friendly and so welcoming! I really love how simple things like how OTP’s spend their down time can bring people together. I also love how little drama this fandom has. However I dislike the occasional anon hate that we get, and of course like in every fandom we have the “we don’t have enough of this but I’m not going to do it so YOU have to do it” 

10. What makes and breaks a fic for you?

I think it’s the flow of the writing, I really can’t read choppy writing. It makes my brain go “huh? why?” 

embersofimagination’s questions:

1. Do you prefer tea, coffee, or neither?

Neither. I’m more of a juice person really. Although occasionally I’ll have some fancy coffee with my mom 

2. Do you go through “phases” with fandoms? Where you are all about one fandom for days, weeks, months, etc. then go onto the next or do you have one primary fandom you don’t stray far from?

I feel that I’m actively in multiple fandoms, but I switch my focus. If something is happening with Sherlock that’s where all my attention will be. I’m pretty much knee 

3. Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

A bit of both. I can really only handle one or two people at a time, but I will go out with more. I always come home from those days absolutely exhausted so then I spend a few days by myself. I love talking however, so yeah. A bit of both

4. Do you have otps? If so, name three.

Ah yes, I have many. Hartwin, Merwin, and Stony (from marvel)

5. Why do ship what you ship? Ex: they look pretty together, they compliment each other’s character, just for the lolz?

I ship Hartwin and Merwin for the same reason. Not only does Eggsy look good with both of them (ugh Merhartwin is swoon worthy also) but there’s so much to play with! Physical Hurt comfort? Emotional hurt comfort? fake/pretend relationship? Domestic fics???? #Blessed

6. What is one thing you learned/know that you wish more people knew about?

How to cook honestly. I get a lot of “I burn water” and sometimes people can literally not cook anything. But a lot of the times people just never had anyone to teach them how 

7. Are you a morning person or night owl?

Night Owl. Which in turn makes me hate mornings haha

8. Do you like tropes or trope subversion?

I think I enjoy both. I love a twist at the end but I also love when a scene plays out like I wanted it to.

9. What inspires you?

Other people inspire me. I think it’s the idea that other people believe in me and want me to succeed just as much that pushes me. Of course, I try my best to return the favor, and it’s that mutual system of support inspires me. 

10. Do you have an aesthetic? If so, what is it?

I think it would probably be rainy days and warm kitchens. Also, copper pots. (Oh god I love copper bottom pots)

11. Favorite season (if you have one)? 

Autumn! Sweaters make me so happy <3

Thank you guys for tagging me! I had fun answering your questions! Now here are my 11 questions :)

Favorite Character? Why?

What’s the weather like where you live?

Do you have a major goal in life you haven’t completed yet?

Do you have something from your childhood that you miss? 

Favorite memory from school? 

Any strange phobias?

Are you a hugger or a no touch kind of person?

Describe something that made you happy this week

Do you get motion sick/carsick/airsick?

Is there a special skill you have that most people can’t do?

What’s a phrase you say a lot?

I'm gonna tag people in the next post!

[tvgold42]

Nintendo Direct Recap

So for those who can't tell from my twitter (@alisdair42), I've become a bit of a fan of Nintendo recently. so I ended up watching yesterday’s Nintendo direct. since I did a big review of the switch trailer, I tried to do something similar. only problem, that took about an hour to make for a few minutes of trailer footage. this is a full half hour long piece of news, that went so fast, I couldn't press pause during the live coverage. aside from some small typo corrections and edits, this is exactly what I typed. heads up, it's a lot of content...

New Pikmin game for the 3DS coming out on July 28, along with an Amiibo more info on that coming later. another 3DS game called ever oasis on June 23. monster hunter stories look like a monster hunter: pokémon rip off edition 3ds, this autumn. YO-KAI watch 2 was just released, and it has an early day exclusive with A June 2nd to be the expiry date for some in game itemsspr@kl3s as a code Culdcept Revolt on 3ds game, some card/board game  September 1stRPG Maker Fes is now a 3DS is a thing there is a free player for that tooJune 23 Miitomo gets a sequel or DLC, I can't really tell, called miitopia release date is sometime this year.

 new fire emblem, NOW WITH DLC, because who doesn't want DLC it also offers seasons pass. because doesn't every gamer want to spend more money on a game that they already own, without knowing the quality, content, or even release date of the thing that they're buying?

It's the 25th anniversary of Kirby, which is weird since it seems like we just had 25 years of Mario. I thought that Kirby was a lot younger, oh well. how are they celebrating this? with a 2d fighter game, out now. Kirby blow out blast looks to be a weird 3d puzzle game, and I just can't wait for the comparisons to Toad treasure tracker, even if it's not deserved, it's coming this summer, e-shop only. there also something that there not telling us about for this winter, so I can't really comment on that at all...

you know how Nintendo love to play on people's nostalgia, WELL THERE'S A BRAND NEW BRAIN TRAINING GAME : DDDDDD

Devilish training: can you stay focused?

I'm not certain if devilish training is the name of some diet chocolate or a porno, and I don't want to find out personally...

Also, new amiibo for the system, but that went so quickly I couldn't get any details written down

For full disclosure, I have a pre-order of Mario Kart 8 from family relatives, but I have not spent money on it. Mario Kart8 has 11 players online, which is weird since its normally 12 players online mode.

If you're playing with friends, then you can customise the rules quite a bit, and tournament mode has now been built into the game, making it seem more like Nintendo want it to become an e-sport. are a thing too

Ultra Street fighter 2 is being re-released for the switch with 19 fighters, but I'm not certain if this is more, less, or the same amount of characters. some weird person also decided that a first person mode that uses motion controls would be a good thing, so that's in the game, along with this, you don't have to remember Combo's at all for the portable mode, with on-screen buttons, (opinion) which is stupid since street fighter is all about executing ridiculous combo's.

 Minecraft wanting more money is now getting a Nintendo switch verson, that allows an 8 player multiplayer mode, which is cute compared to the Java version, but this does also allow local co-op of 4 players, so you have that at least. It's getting a Mario skin pack as DLC, out may 12 e-shop, later for physical.

 sonic forces - a shit 3d one that looks dark and gritty, that has old and new sonic in it, winter this year.

sonic mania -a good fan version that looks awesome, summer this year

project mekuru looks weird, good weird though, has a bomber man feel in its gameplay, releases this summer.

fate Extella for  July 21'st, hate to say it but it kinda looks like a generic JRPG :/

Disgaea 5, has a demo to be released soon, release date may 26th, ill have to give that a look at, since anything that has a demo must be tried, seriousialy, its the one thing that i want devlopers to get back onto.

Puyo Puyo Tetris is amazing, I've played it, you have to try the demo from the JP e-shop if you can, don't go for the UK one, the voice actors just fall flat. it's coming to the EU soon, if you don't have a switch or another console to play it, this is why you need the switch. The demo is out now

monopoly for the switch, because you haven't hated your family over this game enough already Autumn 2017

Rayman legends: definitive edition, it's a 2d platformer, and you could have gotten it previously for free on PC, but this now has more DLC. out sometime this year

THQ Nordic are alive, apparently, i thought they died along with the hope of another good Saints Row. Sine Mora EX, its a 2d bullet hell game so im not touching that (unles it has a demo) to be released sometime this summer. battle chaser night war looks more interesting however, releaseing late summer.

PayDay 2 for switch, because if you've not played it yet, your me and you really should have, releasing sometime this year.

Namco museum: a glorified emulator for the console, probably not worth buying since you could find the rom files online, summer 2017.

change of pace now whilst i focous on somthing that works on a lot more meaty. 

This first big block is Arms, if you don't care, skip the first, long, paragraph.

Apparently, you can customise the arms in Arms, as if we didn't already know this, it does, however, reveal that each arm has an element. fire, electricity, wind, ice, stun, explosion, and more I couldn't read quick enough. It also shows that in the game, you can use currency to unlock the different types of arms. this doesn't appear to be real world money, and I don't think that Nintendo would do that, but I still don't like the idea of unlocks in an arcade game. We have a new character called Mminmin, who is based on noodles, no, seriously. if that wasn't weird enough, she has an ability, where she can kick people in a boxing game... quick question, why? why did that seem like a good idea at all? doesn't that kinda defeat the whole point of it being a boxing game? wait, she has dragon arms that shoot lasers? all is forgiven. Spring Man is a new person (i think) who has permanently charge punches IF he has low health. he also has an electric shield for very quick deflects of almost anything. and coming back to Minmin, she has an area based off of her, it's a massive ramen bowl... no comment. we also have team battles for a 2V2 mode, because everybody can afford 4 pairs of Joy-Con's, clearly. speaking of Joy-Con's there's a bundle that contains the console, the game, and a set of yellow Joy-Con's, that look like a set of slightly off bananas. and if you just couldn't get enough Switch action, there releasing a Joy-Con battery pack, which is odd since I personally have never had to worry about the battery for the Joy-Con's at all, I will say that I have been charging them and the console overnight every night, so that may be why I've not been having any problems. The full release date for the game, the bundle, and the Banana-Con's (yes that's what I'm calling them) is June 16.

 And now for the reason im here: splatoon 2, its not as long but still substatial, if you dont care, thats it for this article for you, good bye ^^ otherwise, onto splatoon 2, the main reason I wanted a switch at all.

 we start with a with a weird trailer, that has the music of a discounted Toys R Us instrument set. Feeles like its from the 80's in a parody way. the main purpos of the trailer is to introduce "Salmon Run", a wave based PVE mode, which had me in full caps in my notes, accompined by a ":DDDDD" or 2. the main purpos is to kill the enimies to get power eggs, which is your form of in game currency that can be spent on the splatoon shop for cosmetics. keep on going however, and bosses will appear, these drop golden eggs that too can be exchanged for items. if you have bad players in your team, and they die, then you can revive them by walking over to get them back. The game adds in 3 new Amiibo, that allow people to save custom data to for clothing, but the old splatoon Amiibo's will also work. the game, the Amiibo will be released on July 21st.

[aerifth]

 i am back from the private nintendo switch press event

i played all the big games they announced on-stream except for 1, 2, switch. i didnt play many of the “smaller” games either. they had skylanders, disgaea 5, just dance, etc but i mainly focused on games i’d be more likely to get

i played mario kart 8 DX, a little bit of zelda, snipclippers, arms, sonic mania, splatoon 2, super bomberman R, and i think thats it. details are after the cut

mario kart 8 DX is what everyone expected, its really fun and the new battle mode is great. im curious to see what new courses were gonna get, should we get any at all. it also wasnt exactly clear in the trailer but the boo item still steals an item from another player

zelda i mostly played to get a handle of the switch unit itself. i’m waiting to play zelda in full when it launches and it doesn’t seem like the kind of game that benefits from being demoed, as its huge and open world and you can go wherever you want whenever you want. that being said the controls were nice and combat was simple and fun. im glad swordplay got dumbed down a bit in favor of being craftier with how you fight by using different materials and items at your disposal

speaking of the unit itself, the switch is pretty handy. there’s little buttons on the back you hold down to “unlock” the joycon from the unit, and to put them back you just slide them back in. the joycon itself is pretty versatile, i like it way more than the wii remote in contexts where you have to hold it sideways. the pro controller was also pretty comfy, though obviously price is an issue as usual. ive got 2 extra joycon on the ready though because those i will have a use for

arms requires 2 sets of joycon to play local 2 player, which makes sense. arms is surprisingly fast paced and not as intensive as wii boxing which makes it overall easier to play. the mechanics are pretty solid and i’d like to see more of it

snipclippers is like a boyfriend/girlfriend game. if youre not really young its something that’d be kinda awkward to play with anyone else

splatoon 2 is neat, i mean its basically the same base splatoon game as of right now. i played a few rounds and tried the new splat dualies and i can’t really have an opinion on them right now since i was playing with the unit wired down, which made the gyro controls harder to handle

sonic mania is FUN, im glad its coming to switch. i was able to jump right in and found a bunch of cool new pathways in both green hill and studiopolis. no mirage saloon, though. the cool thing about the switch is that they joycon are 2 different controllers, so by default you can play co-op right out of the box

bomberman is bomberman. it was fun to see all the different colors have the unique personalities and things got heated even when playing with strangers. i forgot how fun a good bomberman match can get

when we left we got a spiffy pin and switch logo cookie. overall a fun time. didnt have to wait on very many lines, which i guess comes with it being a private event

[remembermemorablememories]

Monday, February 18, 2019

post #406

main points:

- wake up early to go to NYC

- turn in lease (officially signed an apt!)

- $1 pizza and gong cha

- come back home, get chipotle and go to target with sheena

- eat at home, watch bob’s burgers/help dad with the kitchen ventilation

- played smash online, getting lucina into elite and playing snake in elite smash

- dinner with fam, learn about dad’s childhood experiences with his mom in the hospital

- book tokyo housing, look into airbnb experiences/kyoto/osaka

- mario kart with deepak and sheena

writing this on tuesday feb 19

today i:

- woke up at 6:30am. i was so tired waking up. yikes. i mustered all my strength to get up and out of bed, grabbed a banana downstairs, then drove out in mom’s car to the trenton train station

i got there around 8am, then got on the 8:10am train. on the train i signed the blanks where i should fill out for the lease, then just listened to music and rested 

got to penn station and then walked 10 blocks to 43rd to meet up with marsha. it was wet out so i’m guessing it rained last night :s we went in to the broker office in the basement but before going in, marsha did one last pass on all of my paperwork, collect my checks, then we headed in

we dropped off the paperwork, everything seemed solid and that was it. the whole thing took like 20 minutes

marsha stopped outside to give me a bottle of champagne as celebration and we took a picture together. then we parted ways and said good bye :’( we’ll be in touch probably the next month to get everything sorted out logistically but it was good working with her

i stopped by the post office to try to get a refund for my remaining money order but the post office was closed cause it was president’s day :( i guess i’ll go tomorrow

- decided to walk back to penn station and just head home but i first stopped by $1 pizza to eat. it was like 10am lmaooo. while i was sitting there eating my pizza i also got a notification that my 4gb of data on my phone ran out :( it won’t renew until 3/5 rip. walked over to gong cha since it was near the station, got myself some milk tea and sheena some milk tea

hopped on the 11:14am train back to trenton. i watched white bear of black mirror since i downloaded it offline on netflix. then watched an episode on the stock market and then astrology for vox’s explained series. very interesting stuff

- drove back home, getting back around 1:30pm. idk why but i started getting a headache. i wonder if it was cause of the milk tea or if it was cause i was watching stuff on the train and maybe the light swaying caused me to be motion sick or something?

- once i got home, got settled down, i went out with sheena to target. she needed to go get sunscreen and some other travel sized stuff for her school trip to florida coming up soon. then we went over to chipotle and both got some burrito bowls. sheena stopped by wendy’s to get some large fries then we drove home and ate while we watched bob’s burgers S6E10. halfway through watching, dad went to the backyard deck to try to fix the ventilation for our kitchen stove. since it’s windy out sometimes the wind gets caught in it and makes flapping sounds. he stacked two chairs on top of each other to reach it and i was really concerned it was not stable so i went out to watch over it. i told him we should just use a ladder but it’s a bit buried in the garage since the kitchen renovations happened

he got a tentative fix with a spring and duct tape and then we went back inside. i finished the rest of my burrito bowl and the episode of bob’s burgers around 3:30pm

- i still had a headache so i was gonna do japan planning but played smash online instead. i played with lucina a bunch, then got her into elite smash. cutoff is around 3.81 mil GSP right now. then i played some snake in elite smash and did fairly well. there was this marth that i played really well against. but after 5-6 games he slowly started adapting to my gameplay which was interesting to see. (even though i still won :p). then i had to go eat dinner so i peaced out. i got snake to like 3.89mil... still can’t break 3.9mil GSP yet

- went to eat dinner with the fam. there was pork/potatoes, duck, and some veggies. yum :D i went to the bathroom and once i finished/came out, i sat back down and listened to some of dad’s stories from when he was a kid and living with his mom/visiting the hospital. the topic came up cause i mentioned my abdomen pain. he said he had a severe flu once and went to the hospital. they had to take a biopsy and mixed him up with the person next to him and thought he had cancer. but since his mom (my grandma) worked in the hospital, she thought it was really odd, especially at dad’s age (maybe like a teenager). fortunately they were able to do another biopsy and the people there realized it was a mistake. damn... these kinds of things are scary

- i cleaned up the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while dad cleaned up the kitchen table/stored food. we heard more flapping from the stove vent so dad went out again, this time with two chairs. i watched over him just in case, and he just stuck the screw straight through the flap instead of using duct tape this time. and it looks like it fixed it for good 

- went upstairs around 8pm and planned out some more of tokyo, mostly booking a hostel through airbnb. then also looking into airbnb experiences in tokyo, then kyoto and then osaka. i also looked into hostels for kyoto and osaka but i’m not too time pressed on it cause since they’re close to each other, i can figure something out. while i was doing this sheena was playing smash behind me. i told her about grab out of shield which helped her a lot. she was playing dittos against another zelda that was doing almost identically what she was doing LOL

- also i told deepak i’d play mario kart with him. so after taking a long shower, we played from 10pm-11pm. sheena also played with us (since she was already playing smash). we did shine thief battle mode for a bit (we got wrecked by deepak), then racing (again got wrecked) -- deepak 1st, me 2nd sheena 3rd. then we played teams to try to balance things out. sheena and i did better overall with CPUs/team so we won that one :p 

- hung out with sheena in her room a bit. browsed some instagram, watched some old videogamedunkey videos on smash, then went to sleep around 12:30am. i was so tired after waking up at 6:30 today

okay the end

[viralhottopics]

RIP Wii U: Nintendo’s glorious, quirky failure

Nintendo has ceased production of Wii U less than five years after its launch. What went wrong, and what will be its legacy?

In late January it was announced that Nintendo had ceased production of the Wii U console. The follow-up machine to the hugely successful Wii had sold fewer than 15m units worldwide since its launch in 2012. PlayStation 4 sold more in a year. Wii sold more than 100m in its lifetime.

What happened? How did Nintendo, one of the oldest and most respected companies in the video game industry, get it so wrong? And did anything good come out of the Wii U era? How will the machine be remembered, if at all?

Certainly, some believe the console was cursed from the start right from the first announcement at the 2011 E3 video game conference in Los Angeles. Before that, Nintendo had made vague references to Project Cafe, a new piece of hardware deep in development at the companys famed R&D labs, but the nature of the device was unclear. The E3 presentation was supposed to be the big reveal.

Then, there it was at the Nintendo press conference, in front of the whole games industry. Wii U. Reggie-Fils-Aim, head of Nintendo America, gave an obtuse introduction and showed the unique GamePad controller, with its built-in display. After this, came a showreel of gaming moments, then nothing. The crowd whooped, but when the lights went down, a few expressed confusion: was the Wii U GamePad an extension to the original Wii? Was it an entirely new console? That evening, in an interview with the Evening Standard, the late Nintendo president Satoru Iwata stated: Because we put so much emphasis on the controller, there appeared to be some misunderstanding.

The PS4 and Xbox One, high-powered machines arrived and changed the gaming landscape. Composite: Xbox One S v PS 4 Pro v PS4 Slim v Project Scorpio

A masterpiece of understatement. In some ways, that misunderstanding never went away. Even when it became clear that Wii U was a whole new console, with a unique motion-sensitive screen pad, consumers were nonplussed. There had been rumours that, with its custom AMD 7 series graphics chipset and IBM multicore central processor, the machine would be more powerful than the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 especially as it was arriving years after those machines debuted. But before the launch, developers were already whispering to news sources that this was not the case driving the second-screen would eat up the graphics processing power and the CPU wasnt that special. It was all academic anyway: barely a year later, PlayStation 4 and Xbox One arrived to completely change the technological landscape.

But Nintendo wasnt competing with PlayStation and Xbox, and never really had. Instead, it needed to convert the tens of millions of Wii owners whod rarely bought consoles before; whod been seduced by the Wii Remote controller and the immediate, social experience it promised. Those people were now quietly migrating to other platforms: smartphones, tablets, set-top boxes … Thats who the Wii U was aimed at.

In the months following E3, it was at least picking up interest from the development community. I had done work on the N64, Gameboy, GameCube and Wii and I still maintain they were my favourite systems to work on, so when the WiiU was announced it had me excited, says Byron Atkinson-Jones of Xiotex Studios I wanted to see how far we could go in game design terms with the two screen setup. Were we going to get new game paradigms like we did with the Wii and its controllers?

However, even before the launch, the games media was complaining about a lack of compelling first-party content. The machine would arrive with only two major Nintendo titles, the mini-game collection Nintendo Land, and New Super Mario Bros U, a decent side-scrolling platformer, but by no means a major Mario title with with little involvement from Miyamoto. There were intriguing moments: Nintendo Land has the clever asymmetrical multiplayer action of Luigis Ghost Mansion and the boisterous arena-battler Animal Crossing: Sweet Day. But there was also nothing as immediately compelling as Wii Sports or Wii Play nothing that completely crystallised the idea of the GamePad.

Veteran developer Rhodri Broadbent once worked for Q-Games in Japan, and met Shigeru Miyamoto while making Star Fox Command. He felt there should still have been a role for the Wii Remote in the new era. The fact that Wii U did not come bundled with a Wii Remote was really disappointing to me, he says. I felt that the identity of the Wii Remote was worth continuing, and that combining the jump to HD visuals with the jump to HD motion control of the Wii Remote Plus would have been a smart play. In terms of marketing, the Wii Remote was iconic from the get-go, whereas the GamePad sadly didnt really get to find its identity in either software, nor marketing. There were some truly excellent, best-in-class games released for Wii U, but very few of them gave life or character to the GamePad.

The GamePad, as a unique selling point, was also a unique curse, an albatross around the neck of the whole project. Designers struggled over its multifaceted nature: should they support it as a standalone screen, a second-screen for the TV, or as a device to allow asymmetrical multiplayer experiences (the player with the GamePad is able to have a different experiences to others using Wii Remotes). It was a tough business proposition too. Games publishers like to be able to transition their projects freely between different machines most modern game engines are platform agnostic making this process easier. But Wii Us controller demanded a different approach, so including the console on multiplatform projects was complicated and expensive even if they were just going to use the GamePad as a mini-map, which many did.

Of the third-party games available at launch, most were quick conversions of familiar PlayStation and Xbox titles: Call of Duty, Batman, Fifa… few of these exploited the GamePad feature-set in truly innovative ways. The best was perhaps ZombiU, a fascinating survival horror title with a neat permadeath mechanic, set in a post-apocalyptic London that made inspired use of the GamePad as both an environment scanner and a cellphone. With its tense, gory action, it also brilliantly subverted expectations of a Nintendo launch title. But it wasnt enough.

The problem is, mainstream game development is all about confidence. Console manufacturers have to be certain that third-party publishers will support the device; third-party publishers have to be sure that consumers will buy it, and draw confidence from first-party titles; and consumers wont commit until they know there will be great titles from both first- and third-party studios. Its a vicious circle of reliance, and it often all depends on that launch week. Nintendo just didnt come up with the goods to inspire consumers, and because of this, the likes of Activision, Electronic Arts and Ubisoft were all backing off right from the outset.

Meanwhile, Nintendo was trying to make things easier for independent developers, noticing the huge influx of excellent indie titles on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. After the success of the 3DS eShop in attracting experimental games, the company set out to improve its digital store for the home console experience. However, its legacy was not good. On the Wii, support for smaller studios was patchy: the submissions process was, according to some studios, extremely lengthy, and there were sales thresholds that made it risky to commit to offbeat projects. Even after these problems had been addressed, Wii U had no support for the important multi-platform games engine Unity until much later in the consoles lifespan, strangling its potential with the indie community.

[The Wii U dev kit] was clunky and far more difficult to setup than its predecessors, says Atkinson-Jones. I remember opening the box it came in and there was a warning saying it was very easy to brick the machine so getting it setup was a terrifying prospect. Id love to say I got further than this but the reality is that even though Nintendo had signed So Hungry to appear on WiiU, Unity would not actually be ready for another year its because of this my other game Blast Em! came about and thankfully that game has kept my studio running. Once you got past all the problems of setup and getting a working build of Unity, it was just that much harder than doing any kind of cross platform work – the big difference being the two displays of course.

Nintendos Wii and revolutionary remote. Photograph: Andrew Parsons/PA

So the Wii U had a lot to contend with: a poorly conceived debut, a unique selling point that was difficult to describe, and a hesitant development community unwilling to commit resources to a quirky machine. But it did provide moments of genuine brilliance. The defining first-party titles Super Mario 3D World, Mario Kart 8, Super Smash Bros, Splatoon and Pikmin 3 may not have been top tier Nintendo originals (theres no Miyamoto Mario, no new Zelda), but they were excellent games, filled with interesting ideas and classic moments of design genius.

Pikmin 3 is one of the greatest games I have ever played on any system, says Broadbent. Its mission mode is so tightly balanced, with so many tricks and techniques to optimise battles, find new routes and shave seconds off your time that I can and often did replay the same mission for entire days without noticing that the my weekend had disappeared. Im a big fan of the oft-overlooked, but to my mind never bettered, New Super Mario Bros U, especially the challenge modes. And keeping with Mario, Super Mario Makers musical, whimsical user interface is a masterclass in hiding complexity and infusing character into menus the way the sound effects harmonise with the background music as you place objects on the screen is endlessly charming to me.

There were beautiful third-party games too, sparsely spread out though the machines lifespan perhaps, but certainly there. Cult Japanese studio PlatinumGames, best known for its demanding brawlers, was an unexpected hero producing two masterpieces for the machine: the extravagant Bayonetta 2, and the kookie super hero puzzler, Wonderful 101. Warner Bros brought us the excellent Armored edition of Batman Arkham City, but also the ludicrously overlooked Lego City Undercover, a hilarious Grand Theft Auto pastiche, which is now rightfully being remade for current consoles.

More importantly however, there were indie developers who truly embraced the idiosyncracies of the system and its development environment. We enjoy letting the quirks of specific hardware inspire new ideas and features here, so from a design point of view, Wii U was a lot of fun, says Broadbent. Gyros, a camera, a touch screen there was a lot there to use. For Scram Kitty, I had the idea of making the titular cat appear as a sort of sports commentator on the TV while the player focused on the GamePad action, and although in the end that element didnt turn out to be an essential feature of the game, it was a great source of personality for the game, and one which kept throwing up new ideas throughout development.

Highlights included DrinkBox Studios crazed platformer Guacamelee!: Super Turbo Championship Edition, the lovely retro platformer Shantae and the Pirates Curse, and the intriguing puzzler Art of Balance. Most were multiplatform, but lots used the Wii U capabilities in interesting ways. A key example was the engrossing Affordable Space Adventures from Danish developer KnapNok Games. In this interstellar puzzle game, the GamePad was used to monitor and interact with your crafts primary systems, including engines, anti-gravity controls and scanner, providing a great Star Trek bridge experience.

There were also thoughtful conversions of iOS titles, including Dakko Dakkos translation of the spooky narrative adventure Year Walk. We took a much more all-in approach to the machines feature set, combining the gyros, touch screen, separate displays, and even subtly altering the audio between the gamepad and the TV, to create very satisfying controls and puzzles, says Broadbent. The end result feels uniquely suited to Wii U.

Its also worth remembering Nintendos unique attempts to create friendly online communities around the Wii U. The Miiverse is a family-friendly social network in which players can chat about what theyre playing, draw and share pictures, and seek gaming advice, all within a safe, charming environment populated with customised Mii characters. It was a much more warm, human approach to networked play than Xbox Live or PlayStation Network and, as Jennifer Schneidereit, co-creator of luscious historical adventure Tengami discovered, it allowed unique relationships between developers and players:

It was possible to post to Tengamis Miiverse from within the game, to show level progress or ask other players for help, she says. As a developer I was able to interact with people in Tengamis Miiverse and help with puzzles, answer their questions and listen to their feedback. Because Miiverse posts are not only textual, players can also hand draw and incorporate stamps, it was a real delight to watch players using our stamps to create artwork of their own.

Wii U had a difficult start, with a difficult idea in a difficult era. The E3 presentation blurred what the machine actually was, and the GamePad was never an easy proposition to market unlike the Wii Remote that people could see was fun, just from the adverts. Meanwhile, with Xbox and PlayStation continuing their graphics arms race, and competition coming in from smartphones and tablets, the gaming audience seemed to be stratifying into two groups: the sorts of players who bought consoles and high-end PCs, and the sorts whod quite as happily play Candy Crush Saga for free on their phones. The idea of a console as the central focus of a party or family event, which had peaked between 2005 and 2010 with both the Wii and the rise of music games like Guitar Hero, had drifted out of favour.

Nintendos Shigeru Miyamoto. Photograph: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Now here comes the Nintendo Switch, a regeneration of the Wii U concept where the GamePad effectively becomes the console, with its own built-in controllers. If anything, it is a more flagrant attempt to seduce casual players away from their phones, while tapping into the family living-room appeal of the original Wii. Broadbent sees Switch as a reconnection with that machine: Im very happy that the joy-cons have so many little tricks in them, and encouraged to see games like ARMS push forward higher-fidelity motion controls right out the gate. But Im mostly happy that Switchs identity as a home console thats not tied to your TV is being communicated so clearly.

Communication, it seems, is key. The Wii did its own communicating: you just watched people playing Tennis or Bowling and you knew it was fun. Nothing Nintendo has done with its hardware since then has been quite so alluring. But to write off Wii U as a creative failure would be a gross disservice. The GamePad actualised a lot of vague entertainment industry hype about the second screen, and lots of games truly illustrated the magic of the concept. And lets not forget that Wii U also saw Nintendos entry into the toys to life market with its Amiibo characters little figurines that could be placed on the screen to interact with games. They sold over 40m of those.

In years to come, people will pick up the console second-hand, with a few games Super Mario 3D World, Bayonetta 2, Mario Kart 8 and theyll realise what it was that Nintendo had in mind, theyll understand the appeal of the hardware. Much too late, of course.

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