#im tired of trying so hard and ending up worse then i started
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With the help of my boss I might not be totally fucked, but I'm still fucked.
#trying not to give in to the negative thoughts#but i feel like a failure of a human#i feel disgusting and i just want to give up#its really not that deep#its a relatively simple fix#but the last few months have just been horrible and im tired of it#im tired of trying so hard and ending up worse then i started#if i didnt have two cats that depend on me and a partner right now id probably just give up to be honest#im so fucking exhausted#im just so done
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#ughhhh sorry 3am angstposting incoming#notes from the crypt#i just got back from teo weeks of visiting my parents and extended family#sometimes i wonder if it would be kinder if they just disowned me and were done with it#they arent even subtle about how little they care about me and my wellbeing and safety#every time i delude myself into thinking things can be repaired they twist the knife a little deeper#im just so tired#i try so hard#i give so much of myself and work so hard to be optimistic and kind to everyone and get back apathy or worse#i just don't know how much longer i can do this#my heart hurts so bad it feels like all my veins turned to glass and then shattered#i just dont know what to do#i dont know how to build a found family or neighborhood support system from scratch#im so tired of just surviving#is it really so impossible to find someone to cherish who will cherish you back?#maybe my dad is right and im just unloveable#i want to go home but ive bever really had one#and im honestly losing hope that i ever will#ill end up like ellenor rigby#or one of those people you hear about where no one realizes they are dead for months until they get evicted for not paying rent#or until their corpse starts leaking through the ceiling of their downstair neighbors apartment#i just wish someone out there cared#sorry for being dramatic ill be fine in a few days probably#and im not going to do anything drastic- i have my cats to think about#i just need to scream into a void and write these thoughts before they eat me alive#anyway im going to sleep#hopefully in the morning ill feel less like a moldy shoe left to rot on the side of the highway
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can someone can twist my arm behind my back until i sit down and eat an actual, full, nutritionally sound meal to completion
#ive had such a hard time eating lately and ive been getting sick again but eating is so unpleasant and difficult#and sometimes helps sometimes just makes me feel sicker but i know not eating makes it worse#and i know the more i put off eating the sicker ill feel and the more trying to eat will maje it worse but i !!!! cant !!!!!!!#i either forget bc my appetite doesnt exist or i feel so sick it takes me hours of barley sipping to finish a cup of broth#and even than sometimes i just get sick!!!! and start puking!! even when im good and when i eat and do everything im supposed to !!!!#ill just wake up and immediately have to hug a toilet until a) it stops long enough that i can keeps my meds down#b) i cant stop puking and i have to go to the fucking hospital to get an IV of anti neasua stuff so i can take my seizure meds#and than i end up there for days longer than i need to bc they ALWAYS find something secondary wrong with me to milk my medicade#sorry rant over for now im so tired of being sick all the time i cant even remember a time i wasnt at least a 2 on a 0-10 neasua scale#and thats a good day tbh#i fucking puke almost once a day and just the fact that it even stops is a massive improvement from last year#but god i just want one day where im not scared im gonna randomly start barfing like someone fed me epicat sryup#or how ever you spell the emergency vomiting drink stuff u know
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what to do when im obsessing and obsessing over conversations and interactions again but like the mistakes im finding are very real mistakes in a very real pattern that ive been trying to fix for years and keep getting worse about instead so like clearly the obsessing is warranted but also its eating my brain from the inside out
#definitely getting worse now that i have so few conversations with other ppl#but i just like...am so so bad at social rules and conversations and i cant seem to fix it or get better#and i used to be more unaware of how bad i was but now im so so aware and so i need to fix it#but no matter how much i think and think and think about it and plan how to do better i just end up fucking it up anyway#extremely frustrating and tiring and i really wish this wasnt so difficult bc i feel like for most ppl it just comes naturally#but for me like if i dont constantly obsess about it and think so hard i miss the mistakes and cant even start trying to fix the problem#anyway. sorry im just complaining again bc i had a conversation today and i fucked it up bad#and i wish i could just ask the person “hey did u feel like i was overbearing and selfcentered in our convo today”#but obviously thats like...not a thing ppl ask ppl so i really cant know if i really fucked up as bad as i think or not#so i can never really be sure and anxiety advice always says to assume ur brain is playing tricks on u#but then every so often someone says to my face that im selfish and a bad listener and shitty to talk to#and it becomes very clear that my brain is very correct when it says im fucking things up
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I've done it again (acted like an lovestruck fool infront of my friends)
#miranda talking shit#Im so embarrassed i hate myself i wish i didnt react this way im making people uncomfortable im making things hard#Had a looooong talk with Fabian#6... Hours? Its 3.30 am now jajfnxjskskdkcjkd#It wad great i talked way too much unfortunately but alas. And at the end ... I had previously mentioned that evening that i#Find it better or easier to see people so i can know how they react. I hate being seen but seeing others i like and it helps me understand#Them. So the last 30-40 min he all of a sudden turned on his cam and i couldnt deal. I cannot deal#A sudden change like that when its 3am? I cant be normal. So i was stuttering and giggling and just being unable#To talk. And he just ... Sat there and was chill. And when that happens i get worse bc i realize how much embarrassed i am so yes#And he just ... 'you became so giggly' YES SO DID YOU 'yeah true'#I hate this part of myself bc usually ... Its my ... My crush is around and ya know im embarrassed bc of that so i act weird#But now it was like... Im still embarrassed but its not the same but im acting the same basically and i... Youre gonna think about it too#I react so fucking strongly to everything and its weird like please! Anyone who saw or heard me would assume i have the worst crush on him#In reality i got an crush on another guy and i just got so embarrassed bc im tired and yeah... Doesnt help he is the calmest calm guy to#Ever calm. I know for a fact i react worse when i can see others arent bothered... Im scared... Fellas im scared ... I have fucked up#Hes going to be weirded out now ... I am screaming help#Its bad enough i have acted this way around people i genuinely have a crush on... At least i.. Mean if they can tell i mean i am at least#Honest. I understand people in my past who have bullied me in these situations it must be hilarious#Having a chick go from yeah ok we can talk and joke and be alright to... I-i-i-i ca-cannot ta...t-t-t-talk#I wish i could say i was faking it too. No I literally stop myself many times and try to start over but my voice just shakes and#My brain is like 'haha... Mushy mushy what do we say ' end me#Fabian#'vad fnissing du blev nu' JA DET BLEV DU MED 'jo det är sant'
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LOSS, JUDE BELLINGHAM
today jude had a game, you had stayed home because you were feeling slightly under the weather but you had promised him that you would watch from your bed.
as you watched you saw as the other team was aggressive and talented, as jude’s team fought hard they unfortunately faced a loss. the look of defeat etched on jude’s face made your stomach sink. you knew the stadium was a couple hours away, so you had to wait but in the meantime you texted him a short message,
‘good job today baby, i’m sorry you guys lost. you played really well i love you 💕’
as you sent the message jude immediately read it but never responded. you furrowed your brows at this, jude always responded. you turned off you phone and rolled over to blow your nose with the tissues on the bedside table. you hear the door slam but no jude.
you stepped out of bed your sock-clad feet tapping softly against the hardwood floors. you see jude standing in the kitchen, zoned out, eyes watery. “hey jude,” you start, placing a soft hand on his shoulder before he cuts you off “god yn! leave me alone!” he quickly storms off to your shared bedroom. the yelling had startled you and made your oncoming headache worse. you knew something was wrong so you weren’t mad, more concerned.
you softly walked over to the bedroom and opened the door slowly, you saw jude sat on the floor near the end of the bed. his shaky hands were pulling at his curly hair, he had tears rolling down his face as he struggled to breathe. “hey hey jude,” you sit in front of him and grab his hands out of his hair, holding them. he looks into your eyes “i- i- sor- can’t- breathe” “i know baby your gonna try to follow my breathing okay?” he softly nods his head in understanding, you place his hands on your chest. you take slow breaths as he follows “what happened baby?” you ask him as his breathing had regulated but he was still sobbing. “i-i played so bad and i knew you and jobe were watching. i disappointed everyone-“ you noticed as he started panicking again “jude you played great, you didn’t disappoint anyone, if anything you inspired jobe he has an amazing brother who although he was losing he fought his hardest to win for his team, that’s what makes a good football player, and you’re an amazing one i pinky promise” a smile broke out on his face as you held out your pinky he interlocked his pinky with you “im really sorry i yelled earlier” he sayed and he stuffed his head into your chest. “it’s okay baby it just made my heard hurt a little bit” he immediately shot up “are you okay? do you need anything? i’ll go get you-“ he rambles “baby im fine” “are you sure?” he grabs your hands, “positive” you confirmed “does this mean i can’t kiss you?” he sighs “not on the lips” you inform him, he softly kisses your forehead “can we lay down? i’m really tired after that.” he asks “let’s have a shower first jude, i’ll wash your hair for you.” he smiles “i’ll wash your hair for you too” he encourages rushing over to the bathroom and getting undressed.
“are you sure you’re okay?” jude asks while scrubbing the shampoo through the roots of your hair “yes, this feels nice, i just have a headache and stuffy nose.” you inform you “okay how about you take some medicine before we go to sleep” jude says grabbing the shower head and rinsing your hair out “i love your hair,” he compliments smiling as you turn around “thank you,” you blush “i love your hair too” you say kissing his cheek.
after your shower jude walks downstairs and gets you some medicine and water “here you go darling,” he hands them to you, “thank you” you kiss his nose. you guys then lay down holding jude to your chest. “i’m really proud of you jude, i love you” you kiss the top of his head “thank you, i love you more”
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𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐏𝐓.𝟑 — gojo satoru
synopsis. nobara is ill and what better way to spend your day off than trying to figure out who your teacher's high school girlfriend is?
wc. 3.5k
tags. gojo x reader, fluff, one suggestive joke, reader is in gojo's class, implied utahime x shoko, only half proofread
a/n. it's nearly midnight and im so tired and I have to be up at 6 tomorrow but I needed to get this done. I hope there's not too many mistakes <3 the ending is kind of shit but idc :) jk i do pls like it
previous part / next part / series masterlist
“are you sure you’ll be okay alone?”
nobara lazily lifted her head from beneath her duvet, orange bangs clinging to her sweaty forehead as she let out a series of harsh coughs. megumi winced from the doorway, inching back ever so slightly - he'd already brought in a couple bottles of water and a box of tissues, he wasn't looking to contract whatever flu-like disease she had caught.
she rolled her eyes at his not-so-subtle antics and raised a weak thumbs up. “go on fushiguro, i know how much you're dying to spend the afternoon with itadori and sensei."
“haha,” megumi uttered with the most sarcastic tone he could muster. on second thoughts, maybe being sick for a week wouldn't be so bad. with nobara gone, there was no buffer for his teacher and classmate to pester. “call me if you get worse, you know the second years are useless.”
nobara gave the younger boy a quick salute and small smile, “yes boss.”
she dropped her head back into her pillow and waited till she heard the door click shut till she slipped a little less than elegantly out of bed. whilst yes, there was no denying that she was definitely sick, she also had a mission she couldn’t give up on.
in the three weeks, four days and an unknown number of hours since she had found the dvd of her teacher in his youth, she had been putting all of her free time into trying to find you. megumi had been a dead end when she’d tried asking him about you again and, although nobara knew he had a soft spot for yuuji, she didn’t trust the pink haired boy to treat this situation sensitively.
initially, she’d even considered asking gojo about it but she decided against that pretty quickly. that could get awkward very quickly and she still had at least two years at the school.
then, she’d moved onto searching through the school for traces of the alumni. all she’d managed to find was a single photo; one that included both kyoto and tokyo students. you were tucked into gojo’s side with your arm around shoko. geto was there too: him and gojo side by side as they always were in their teenage years. all of you were grinning and genuinely happy. where had it all gone so drastically wrong?
nobara wondered if it was geto’s fault that gojo’s class had been all but erased – an effort to forget that the worst curse user to live had in fact once been an aspiring sorcerer.
her next plan (and one she hadn’t full considered the logistics of completely just yet) was to watch every single video on the dvd because surely at some point, there would be some clue of who you were or where you’d gone.
and even if there wasn’t, what else could she possibly do to amuse herself whilst she was on bed rest?
with a huff, she grabbed her laptop and dropped back onto her bed, tucking herself under the covers. opening up her laptop (her password being ‘12345’), she clicked unpause on a video she’d started the evening prior.
“–and that’s it basically.”
shoko waved her hands around, sat on yaga’s chair at the front of the classroom with a blackboard filled with scribbles behind her. it wasn’t anything legible, more like swirls and stars and nobara thinks that, if she looked hard enough, in the corner were two little stick men: gojo and geto. an unlit cigarette sat between her lips as she kicked her legs up onto her teacher’s desk. yaga clearly wasn’t in the room.
“that made no sense whatsoever but woo! shoko!” you clapped, out of frame of the camera but enthusiastically nonetheless. the aforementioned girl narrowed her eyes at you across the classroom.
“that’s why i made a video, for you to look back on duh,” she tsked, nodding her head towards the camera. “plus it is easy. i expected dumb and dumber not to understand but you?” shoko patted away a few non-existent tears, taking on the role of disappointed parent and their once star student.
except you’d never really excelled in a class with two prodigies and shoko actually loved having the upperhand in at least one area of sorcery.
shoko picked up the camera, holding it upwards to give a full view of her outfit and hair – like it was any different to any other day she attended school. she swivelled the spinny chair over to an occupied desk, slotting next to it and moving the camera so that it captured all of you in the frame. gojo was sat down in the seat, glasses propped up onto his forehead as you sat sideways on his lap, unsuccessfully trying to decipher shoko’s teachings on the board.
“understanding reversed cursed techniques is way harder than understanding cursed techniques,” you tried to justify, pointing to the board that showed the squiggles that ‘symbolised’ performing a reversed curse technique. stealing gojo’s glasses and popping them on your own face, you popped a quick kiss to the side of his head, “plus, why waste my energy? you’ll figure it out so i never have to.”
“the things i do for you,” gojo sighed happily, dropping his head down onto your shoulder as his arms looped around your waist. the orange-haired sorcerer could practically hear yuuji’s gasps at the simple displays of affection and she almost felt bad for watching some of the clips without him.
almost.
nobara was never one for romance – drama, such as the fight between gojo and naoya, that was her scene. but even she couldn’t help herself from smiling at the teenage love between the two of you. maybe she should give her teacher more credit – there was more to the six foot two man than just his over the top personality and questionable teaching methods.
“this is meant to be an educational video! be less couple-y!” shoko complained, scowling and shuffling away on her chair again.
“oh, we could make it very educational,” gojo wiggled his eyebrows, the devious smirk on his lips only widening at your flushed expression as you tried to hit his chest. failing, though, as he isolated his cursed technique to uphold a thin barrier between your hand and the material of his uniform.
there was the teacher she knew – keen to annoy even those he loved the most.
shoko must’ve ended the video out of spite after his comment, because nobara found herself staring at a black screen.
all that she’d learnt so far was that you couldn’t perform a reverse cursed technique as a teenager. maybe that was what killed you? if you were even dead, that is. but given the damage that curses can inflict on sorcerers, whether or not you were able to execute a reversed cursed technique could literally be the difference between walking away from a fight a little tired or in a body bag.
nobara coughed several times, picking up the open bottle of water from her bedside table and taking a sip to try and ease her scratchy throat. scrunching up her nose at the slight sting of swallowing, she clicked the next available video, not putting much thought into her choice.
it was you and nanami in frame in a library by the looks of it but if it was on campus, nobara didn’t know where. christmas decorations decorated the shelving units behind you – tinsels of gold, red and green, and hanging snowflakes. you were both wearing your usual uniform but you also had a santa hat on and tinsel lining your jacket.
“we’re the only two on campus,” you said quietly, “because everyone else’s parents loved them–”
“we couldn’t afford to go back for the holidays,” nanami cut you off, without glancing up from what he was writing. being from two non-sorcerer families was a disadvantage normally in terms of status and inherited techniques, but holidays were somehow worse.
gojo had offered to help you out with a ticket back to your parents and had even extended an invitation for you to stay with him but you didn’t want to leave nanami alone (and although he didn’t seem grateful, he was glad you were there).
“it’s fine. academic comeback time,” you held up a book to the screen. being in a class with three exceptional sorcerers meant that studies were often sidelined to try and improve and perfect your techniques. holidays were usually your opportunity to catch up on the missed classwork and homework you’d fallen behind on.
nanami less so – if anything he was reading ahead. tokyo had never been renowned for academic scores until he’d come along.
“i don’t get why the camera needs to be here,” nanami complained.
“to record us study! it’s motivational.”
“sure,” nanami hummed quietly, reading over your shoulder at the work you’d already completed prior to setting up the camera. “that’s wrong. this is simple mutipli–” he paused at the sound of rustling and his brows furrowed as he tried to peer round the bookshelves.
“merry christmas!”
nobara snickered as nanami jumped at the sudden voice and appearance of three people behind him. gojo and geto were capable of masking their cursed energy (and shoko’s) so that they wouldn’t be noticed slipping into the library. although gojo had nearly screwed that up by pulling out a chair trying to trip up geto.
“ieiri!” you slipped out from your seat, running up and hugging your classmate. in the process, the camera got knocked so it was facing the ceiling. nobara frowned as she turned the brightness up on her laptop as if though that would somehow bring everyone back into grame. in the periphery of the screen she could make out just the heads and foreheads of the student sorcerers.
“hi satoru, missed you too satoru, so glad you came to see me satoru,” the white haired sorcerer pouted at the lack of attention and nobara is sure someone responded to him but the audio is muffled by two voices closer to the camera’s microphone.
“here!” haibara slipped into the seat next to nanami that you had occupied moments prior and held up a small wrapped box with red ribbon tied neatly in a bow. “i picked it up on the way. merry christmas nanamin!”
“thanks yu,” nanami smiled softly at his classmate. well that’s what nobara thought he did anyways, his eyes lifted into half crescents but she wasn’t actually sure what his mouth was doing out of frame. she’d never seen the blond so happy from a simple gesture.
she clicked off the video even though it still had thirty seconds left to go. it wasn’t much fun just watching people’s foreheads and she highly doubted that nanami was about to fix the camera’s position.
so you were from a non-sorcerer family and possibly not able to use reverse cursed technique. it wasn’t much but facts were still facts.
there was a little more deliberation before she chose her next video, settling herself back into her cushions as she waited for it to load.
the screen was suddenly very bright and nobara winced, turning it down as the surroundings came into focus. it was the inside of an arcade and the camera was pointed directly at one of those claw machines. inside were different sized plushies of spiderman and haibara was the one controlling the claw.
nobara could vaguely make out everyone’s reflection in the glass – to the left of haibara was geto (who was also the one holding onto the camera), gojo and you, and to his right was shoko, nanami and maybe also utahime? shoko had her arm around a blue haired girl either way.
“no! so close haibara,” you patted the youngest boy on the shoulder gently as the plushie he’d managed to pick up slipped from the claw’s clutches before it could be dropped down the chute and retrieved.
“can i try?” gojo asked and, from the annoyed groans, nobara assumed it wasn’t the first time he’d interjected.
“no, he’ll get it this time,” geto encouraged and gojo flashed him a look of disbelief.
“if gojo wants a go he can have it!” haibara tried to step away from the machine but nanami halted him, slotting several more coins in the machine.
“take your go yu.”
“i’ll get you a slushie if you win,” shoko called out, clapping her hands together as he accepted his fate, hesitantly pressing down on the buttons as he peered through the side of the machine to get a better angle.
“haibara, haibara.” all of them were chanting his name now, and that was enough of a boost for him to finally get one of the plushies over the barrier and down the chute. the camera shook unsteadily as geto jumped and six of them crowded the youngest in a joint hug.
nobara could see yuuji in haibara and megumi in nanami and herself in shoko and she had to stop herself from tearing up. nanami and shoko seemed like strangers these days and she couldn’t even imagine waking up and yuuji not being the first one to greet her outside her room.
we’ve got a mission here, she reminded herself, shaking her head lightly before moving onto the next clip.
“utahime, say hi,” you lowered the camera to the kyoto sorcerer’s height. she was sat cross-legged on the floor with a jacket flung haphazardly over her head to try and block out the sun that beamed down.
“hi!” utahime waved, smiling as you dropped down next to her. in her hands was a partially made daisy chain that she’d started to entertain herself whilst she waited for the tokyo students. despite being in kyoto, she’d always chosen to join yourself and shoko at events over her own classmates.
“who do you think is going to win the exchange event this year?” you asked with a raised brow and utahime grimaced.
“don’t make me compliment him.”
“are you implying that our edge is not because of me?” you looked at the camera with a disgusted expression, like you had the power to outshine the gojo satoru, she rolled her eyes – gojo’s dramatics were rubbing off on you. “for that i’m telling ieiri. you may be her girlfriend–”
utahime hit your arm and her eyes darted around for anyone that could’ve heard (like you were not sat alone in a field together whilst the others warmed up), “shut up! we’re not like that…”
you nodded with a condescending hum. “then kindly could you please stop calling her till three in the morning, some of us need our beauty sleep.”
“you’re only ever up at three am because you’re sneaking back from gojo’s dorm,” she retorted with a pointed look. you opened your mouth to defend yourself
“true,” you jumped at shoko’s voice, swivelling your neck around to find the third piece of your trio standing behind you. shoko gestured towards your uniform jacket, “and if she pulls down her collar there’s a massive hickey i had to help cover up this morning.”
utahime erupted into a fit of giggles and you eyed the camera like it was some sitcom and you were breaking the fourth wall.
“you’re such an asshole.”
shoko pushed in between the two of you to make herself the middle. “you love me.”
nobara frowned as the video ended. while it wasn’t overly helpful, it reaffirmed the seriousness of your relationship with her teacher… but that was obvious from the lovesick heart eyes he constantly had in every video you were together.
although, she would have to show it to maki – the two had suspicions about the kyoto teacher and tokyo healer and this all but confirmed that they were right.
nobara scrolled down till she found a thumbnail of you, geto and gojo sat around a table of food.
“zenin naoya,” you started, chopsticks in one hand as you held a bowl of food in the other. gojo pretended to vomit at the mention of his name. “yes toru, appropriate response, but have you heard about him and the kamo girl?”
geto nodded with a mouth full. “the one who studied abroad?”
“yes! her,” you waved your chopsticks in his direction, “anyways, she cheated on him.”
the dark haired sorcerer made a sound of shock, “they were together together?”
you nodded enthusiastically, offering gojo some of your rice. “mhmm, they got together new years eve.”
“that did not last long,” gojo snickered. nobara peered at the date in the corner of the screen in a retro, yellow font; 15 january 2006.
“best part? it’s not even the first time,” you revealed, picking up some salmon sushi off of gojo’s plate and quickly eating it.
“stop,” geto gasped and nobara was shocked. this man was a war criminal now, and yet ten years ago he seemed so far from it, gossiping like he was a teenage girl.
“which like i don’t get,” you frowned. “i dont know why he’s trying to save face over some two week old relationship. especially if she’s already cheated multiple times.”
“he’s just desperate because it’s the first girl to ever want to actually be with him.”
“oh yeah she really wants to be with him,” gojo uttered sarcastically with a sparkle in his eyes. he would have a party at the downfall of the zenin.
“are they staying together?”
“i think so,” you nodded, holding a hand over your mouth as you spoke and finished your mouthful. “it’s what me and shoko told him to do, well shoko. he facetimed shoko.” you clarified following gojo’s less than pleased expression. nobara didn’t doubt that naoya had caused some tension in your relationship (though she refused to believe it was ever because you had been interested in him) and she wished that you’d switch the topic solely onto that. that was the sort of drama she was after.
“youre telling me he facetimed ieiri to tell her he’d been cheated on?” geto could bearly finish the question without laughing and he shot gojo a look. “odds on him trying to make yn jealous.”
you couldn’t stop yourself from snorting. “oh yeah because hearing all that made me want to leave satoru for that thing.” sarcasm or not, your words were taken literally by your boyfriend who draped all one hundred and ninety centimetres of himself across your body. “oh my god you’re so heavy.”
“it’s just my love for you in physical form. don’t be mean,” he whined.
nobara didn’t even have the energy to laugh quietly at the pathetic nature of her teacher as she felt herself drifting off. it was fine, she thought, only a quick power nap. she’d earned it, watching all those clips expended lots of energy.
“kugisaki?” gojo gently knocked at the young girl’s door. he’d left yuuji and megumi to do laps to check nobara was still alive and well. the illness had made its way through half the school already and while it obviously wasn’t something fatal, he knew better than to take any risks.
he knocked again and waited thirty seconds before he opened the door enough just to peek in and–
“satoru.”
gojo felt his heart drop at the sound of your voice. one he hadn’t heard in almost two years and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so unsteady and thrown off guard. the mere sound of your voice had startled him and gotten more of an upper hand than any curse he’d ever had to exorcise.
although his world had stilled, reality continued on and he was forced to hear himself hum in response. he didn’t have to see the video to vividly remember the day, to remember the smell of the grass and your perfume that were coaxing him into a nap that would make you both late to yaga’s lecture.
“do you think we’ll still be together once high school is over?”
“hope so,” he murmured, half asleep, and gojo wished his younger self was more aware, telling you how much he wanted to be with you, savouring every second he had in your presence rather than sleeping it away.
like that could’ve changed the outcome.
slipping into her room, gojo lifted the laptop off of her sleeping figure (definitely still alive and breathing). with a press of a button, the disk popped out and he set the device onto the ground as he contemplated what to do.
he could break it in half, make it seem like an accident that nobara hadn’t noticed in her ill state. or he could use his cursed technique and completely eviscerate it from existence.
or maybe he could keep it.
gojo gave nobara one last glance as he silently closed her door once more, grateful for the blindfold he wore as he headed back outside to his students.
taglist. @thefictionalcharacterssimp @hana-patata @mor-pheus @leathairs @sh0ek0 @maliakealoha @levisteeacup @g-kleran @stevenknightmarc @n1kimura @darliingyu @saturn-alone @splxtscreen @leah-rose03 @rinshoe @laurenzitaa @patricia142lilian @sabo-has-my-heart @wooasecret @dahliawarner @kysrion @dreamerdeity @mwah-chia @geromiegerald @arminsarlerts @maliakealoha @cherrypieyourface @k4romis @monsieurgucchi @bofadeezs @777userz @polarbvnny @chonkercatto @tenshis-cake @haitanibros0007 @ba-ks @liaurokodaki @urfavvirg0 @lofasofabread @r0ckst4rjk @vee-ai @aiikuraa @melileli0001 @rinshoe @vinivave @yell0wdreams @sukunasleftkneecap @malikazz243 @sad-darksoul @giannitaa @maliciousmace @name-insert @splxtscreen
this tag list is insane ty all for the support
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DODGE!!!!! god i want dodge so bad i want to lay between his stretched out legs and wrap my arms around one of them and rest my head on his thigh while he plays with my hair while we watch smth together but it's all background noise because his dick is so close to me mouf and i js wanna run my nose against the little outline from his washed out jeans IS THAT A CRIME IS THAT SO TERRIBLE please oh my god his strong rodeo arms i just wanna sit on his lap and rub my hands all over him im sorry i think im ovulating
(in lois griffin voice) whoever that was.. thank you….
NO because ur SO real.. like i audibly went holy to this, had to screenshot, send to council, and come back to re read again like that one sarah paulson video.
this was meant to be a tiny tiny blurb but it turned out way longer than expected so sorry lolz + f!reader
ALSO! if you sent an ask i am working on it, but i was on vacation so now im finally home and yupppp
send more asks. anything. i will try and match ur freak as hard as i can pls god, and anyways that being said:
like, get me; it starts out somewhat innocent. tired and lazy because of all the panic bullshit, you two decide to just stay home rather going out to all the random parties and events thrown between each game.
dayna and his mom don’t care that he has you over — they find it nice he found someone, a nice distraction from inside his head.
as for the show, it’s probably some random documentary or reality show: first thing he saw when logging into the streaming platform. he, genuinely, is probably engrossed in it, but you’re engrossed in him: how close you two are.
you’re laying between his legs, obviously, and his hands are strung around you messily, just wanting to have some sort of hold on you. how he’s holding you, you probably have no idea what, focused on the washed-out jeans of his — weathered from wear by rodeos or helping anne or anything else.
he’s probably yapping about something on the TV — “i don’t see how bestfriends could do that to eachother..” bla bla bla, you’re not really focusing in on it - humming, trying to sound interested in whatever it is he’s actually talking about. some “oh really?” and “i know..” are strung throughout the humming, but you have no idea if it’s actually appropriate to his talking.
he seems to catch on, though, unbeknownst to you. it’s hard not to notice his pretty girlfriend’s eyes focused directly on his crotch every few minutes, head shifting back and forth ever so slightly — making his dick twitch with need.
you wondered if his jeans are always this tight — wondering if you looked earlier you could’ve seen it, but the truth was, you really couldn’t. this only happened after the fact you got in the car — but obviously, you weren’t keenly aware of his crotch up until the minute you got in bed.
his hands run up and down ur back softly, and god it just makes the URGE to run ur face along the outline so much worse !!! he’s fallen quiet, so u slightly wonder if maybe something’s wrong or maybe he caught onto your disinterest in his words, so you glance up out of the corner of your eye, only to realize he’s been watching you for god knows how long.
he probably says something stupid, like: “you know the tv’s over there, right?” or “interesting?” something really dumb and smart-assy. you roll your eyes, probably say something back, and one thing leads to another and he’s nonchalantly trying to suggest you could do it if you wanted to.
so you do. and god !! does it feel as good as u thought it would. he twitches beneath u and tries to act like it’s really not turning him on as much as it is, but it’s hard not to, a sticky, wet patch is already forming at the tip of his cock; itching to bleed through the light jeans.
he ends up pulling you closer, forgetting all about the tv, bringing you into a hasty kiss, needy and desperate but still filled with tenderness.
you fix yourself on his lap, smiling into the kiss, glad you got your way, like it was ever a fight to begin with — it never was, he would give you anything you asked for whenever you wanted.
he’s so gentle when he touches you. his large hands wrapping around your waist as he pulls you even closer into his lap, his eyes closed, enjoying the kiss for a few more moments before pulling away, panting softly, breathless.
"you’re really not very good at paying attention." he mumbled breathlessly, a small smirk on his lips as he looked down at you.
he moved his hands down your sides, running them up and down your thighs, his thumbs brushing against the skin beneath the hems of your shorts as he shifted underneath you slightly.
“what’s going through your pretty little head, hm?” he mused, tilting his head slightly as he studied your face.
you hummed softly, looking up at him with a small, playful pout on your lips.
“well… i was listening,” you pouted, “kinda.”
he chuckled softly at your response, his hands continuing to run up and down your thighs, the touch of his palms warm and rough against your skin.
“you’re so cute,” he murmured, “but i don’t think you were listening at all.”
he leaned forward, planting a soft kiss on your nose, before continuing to trail his lips down your jawline and down your neck.
“i think you were too distracted by something else,” he whispered, his breath warm against your skin as he nipped at your neck softly.
he knew you far too well - he knew the way your body reacted to his touch. he knew how to make you melt.
he continued to nibble at your neck, gently, his teeth grazing your skin just enough to send shivers down your spine.
“can you even remember what i was talking about?” he murmured playfully, his hands still running up and down your thighs.
“of course,” you retort, clearly defensive. “you don’t get how best friends.. could do that to eachother.” it’s clear you were listening to him, but not the television.
he chuckled softly, his lips pressed against your skin as you spoke.
“of course you remember that part,” he teased, knowing damn well you were paying more attention to his jeans than the television.
he gently nipped at your skin, sucking on a small patch of it for a moment, before pulling away.
“you were paying more attention to something else, weren’t you?”
you flush. obviously you were — who could blame you ?? :(( he was just soo close to u and so there..
he caught the flush of your cheeks, a smirk playing at his lips as he lifted his head to look at you.
“aww, you’re so cute when you blush, you know that?” he teased, “especially when you realize you’ve been caught.”
he chuckled softly, his hands moving up to your waist, his fingers slowly slipping beneath the hem of your shirt.
you pull him into a needier kiss this time, hands roaming all over, as if trying to find the right place to grab: but all seemed so promising, that you couldn’t actually settle.
he groaned softly into the kiss, matching your neediness with his own. his hands gripped at your waist, his fingers digging into your skin, as he pulled you close into his lap.
he ran his tongue across your bottom lip, requesting access that you happily gave him. his tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring it hungrily, as his hands roamed across your body.
he trailed kisses down your jawline and down your neck, his lips leaving a trail of fire on your skin. he nipped at your collarbone, leaving small, love bites in their wake.
he slowly pushed himself back against the back of the bed, pulling you with him so that you were now laying on top of him, your legs on each side of his hips.
his hands roamed down to your legs, gripping your thighs as he shifted beneath you, his hips rolling up against yours.
he groaned softly as he felt the pressure against his lap, his lips still moving across your neck, leaving little love bites in their wake.
“you drive me crazy,” he mumbled against your skin.
you hum in response — too overwhelmed with pleasure to say anything other than jumbled messes, so simplify yourself with a hum.
his hands moved up, slipping underneath your shirt, and running his palms across your skin. he could feel the heat radiating off your body, and it only made him want you more.
he pulled away from your neck, looking up at you with his blue, lust-filled eyes.
“i want you,” he breathed, “so badly.”
your breath hitches — and you want to tell him to have you — right there, however much he wanted, but you can’t strangle any words out.
he moved his hands up to your hips, his grip tightening as he pulled you tightly against him, grinding his lap up against yours.
he let out a soft groan, his head falling back against the back of the headboard as he felt the friction against his straining jeans.
“you’re so beautiful,” he panted, looking up at you with a look of need in his eyes, “so damn beautiful.”
he slid his hands up further, pushing up your shirt as he did, exposing your stomach. he ran his hands up across your stomach and up to your ribs, his touch leaving chills in their wake.
he bit his lip as he looked up at you, studying your face, taking in your features as if he hadn’t seen you a million times before.
“i want you,” he repeated, his voice slightly hoarse with need, “all of you, darling.”
you leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before pulling away.
“well,” you said, your voice low and sultry, “what’s stopping you?”
he looked up at you, his eyes darkening with need.
“nothing,” he replied, his grip on you tightening as he spoke.
he shifted beneath you, pushing himself up so that he was sitting up properly against the back of the couch.
“except for these damn jeans,” he muttered, his hands moving to the button on his jeans.
you’re quick to help him — eagerly pawing at the button, undoing it with ease.
he let out a soft gasp at your eager touch, his hands moving to grip your waist as you undid the button on his jeans.
he lifted his hips as you began to pull down the jeans, a small, needy whine escaping from his lips as the fabric slid down his legs and hit the floor with a toss of your hand.
“so fucking needy..” he groaned softly, his hands running up and down your sides.
he pulled you back down onto his lap, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he settled you against his lap.
his hips bucked up slightly, his arousal pressed against your thigh as he moved.
“you’re so good to me,” he panted, his hands roaming up and down your back as he spoke, “i’m so lucky to have you.”
he tilted his head, his lips tracing a path down your neck, nibbling at sensitive spots along the way. he left a trail of little love bites, his teeth grazing against your skin in a way that made you shiver.
“i want to touch you,” he murmured against your skin, his hands running up your thighs. “please let me touch you.”
you could give him permission a million times over — and he’d still ask before doing anything else in the process, so gently; a contrast difference to his rough hands.
“please.” you retort softly.
he groaned softly at your response, his hands gripping your thighs tighter as he pulled you closer.
“always so polite,” he muttered, his lips still trailing down your neck.
he slowly moved his hands up your thighs, his fingers slowly sliding under the hem of your shorts.
“i need you so badly,” he panted, his hands moving higher, “can i..?”
you nod vicariously.
he let out a soft sigh of relief at your response, his hands moving further up your thighs, until they reached the edge of your panties.
he ran his fingers along the edge of the fabric, groaning softly at the realization that he was so close to what he wanted.
“you’re so beautiful,” he murmured, “so perfect..”
you hum contemptibly, smiling.
he smiled at your hum, his hands slowly moving up, slipping beneath the waistband of your panties.
he ran his fingers over your skin, his touch gentle and soft, as he slowly moved towards your center.
he could feel you shiver with each touch, his own hips rolling slightly beneath you as he grew impatient.
he slowly moved his hand down, his fingers sliding across your sensitive flesh, his touch sending shivers up your spine.
“you’re so warm,” he murmured, “so ready..”
he gently began to rub at your sensitive bundle of nerves, his touch light and teasing, as his other hand moved to your hip, holding you in place.
he groaned softly at the feel of your reaction, his eyes studying your face intently.
“so beautiful..” he repeated, his fingers slowly increasing their pace.
he watched as you began to move against his touch, your hips rolling in response to his touch.
he groaned softly as he felt you press against him, his own arousal growing more and more with each small movement you made.
“that’s it,” he panted, “just like that..”
he continued his movements, his fingers quickening their pace as he felt you growing closer.
he could feel your body shaking with need, your hands gripping tightly onto his shoulders.
“just relax darling,” he murmured, “let go for me..”
he continued to rub at your sensitive core, his fingers moving in a steady rhythm, as he watched you grow closer and closer to the edge.
he could feel your body growing tense, your grip on him growing tighter, as you began to whine and pant with need.
“that’s it, just like that..” he repeated, his own hips rolling up against you as he continued his ministrations.
he watched as you grew tense, your body trembling as you reached the edge, your eyes squeezing shut as you arched your back slightly.
he kept up his movements, his hand still rubbing at your sensitive flesh, continuing to bring you closer and closer to release, “come for me, please..” he panted, his own need growing stronger by the second.
he could feel you growing closer and closer to the edge with each second, your breath coming in soft pants and moans as you teetered on the brink.
and finally, you came, your body shaking as you reached your climax, a soft moan escaping from your lips.
he continued to move his fingers gently against you, helping you ride out your orgasm, as he spoke softly, “so perfect..”
he gently pulled his hand away from you, his eyes watching as you came down from your high. he studied your face, taking in your flushed cheeks and messy hair.
“that’s it darling,” he murmured, “just breathe..”
he moved his hands to your hips once more, holding you tightly in his lap as he waited for you to regain your bearings.
#mike faist smut#mike faist x reader smut#mike faist x reader#art donaldson x you#art donaldson x reader smut#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x reader#dodge mason x reader smut#dodge mason imagine#dodge mason x reader#dodge mason smut#dodge mason
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IF BY CHANCE ? | BND
-
p2
WHAT ? - BND AS EXES WHO WANT YOU BACK (bnd realizing they messed up after you end things)
WHEN ? - (warning) this is not a REAL display of the members im just doing this for weeping entertainment:) attempt to unconsented kissing in jaehyuns, drinking in sungho’s, mentions of throw up/throwing up in leehans, major angst 😒
WHO ? - (a/n) i love angst but not like death but yearning and groveling, pls tell me yall relate. lowk went hard on jaehyun and leehans from personal experience 🤔🤔
uncapitalization intended and not proofread
theres a theory that you will always meet the same person twice
-
P.SUNGHO ; he was too focused on his career.
! - you knew and understood thst sungho’s job was very important to him but it started to feel like you werent his partner anymore. you started to feel like decoration in your guys apartment that he would just ignore when he got home.
! - to try and help your relationship you made him dinner, cleaned up the place, asked him about his day to which he blew up. his cold demeanor suddenly dropped as he yelled at you about constantly bothering him when he just wanted to sleep. you knew your intentions and knew you didnt want to bother but help sungho. you then realize you werent valued in this relationship and were pulling the whole weight by yourself, so you ended things.
! - it took him about 4 days to realize that he messed up. those 4 days his mind was constantly fogged up about work, after those 4 days he walked into the house and how he realized was when he alerted you (or tried to) that he was home with a “honey im home”, only to be met with silence. a bit confused not realizing his brain hadnt catched up yet, he walked into your twos room, or use to be. only to be met with the mess he left for himself in the morning. there is when he realized you weren’t there anymore. to shake his mind off of it, he decided to eat before doing anything ,he went to the kitchen to heat up some frozen dinner. as the meal heated he realized the house was so empty, cold, and quiet. the only sound was coming from the spinning microwave.
! - it’s safe to say the soulless house took a toll on him. everyday he dreaded going home, which is funny cause he couldve said the same thing before he realized how important you were. his friends who were tired of seeing him so lifeless decided to invite him to go to the bar to hang out…he wasnt much fun there either. that was until he caught a glimpse of you from the reflection of his empty shot glass. his eyes light up and he turns around to make eye contact with you. .
-
L.RIWOO ; trust issues.
! - you understood where riwoo was coming from, you knew that trust issues are normal , but it got to a point where his trust issues started to make you question him.
! - and it didnt help that each time you did try to reassure him that it somehow made it worse. “ri, of course im going to stay late, my boss asked me too. you have my location, i send you photos of me working, what else do you want?” maybe your approach wasnt the best but the way he snapped was when you knew no matter how much you tried to protect both you and his peace, he will try to tear it down again. “oh, so now your getting defensive. i shouldve known, especially from you.” he said it with no remorse or thought behind it. and to him he thought he was winning this argument but in reality he was going to make the biggest loss of his life.
! - it took him 5 hours to realize he messed up. when you left and packed your things he thought you’d run back and it’ll make him feel better about himself. but after 4 hours it was already 3 am and he realized maybe…you wouldnt come back as soon as he thought. but that last hour before he realized he messed up, he had a dream of you and him. you two were living that exact moment, before you left. you standing pacing back and forth as he sat on the couch. except this time, he talks to you about why he thinks the way he thinks and vows to do better. in that dream he sleeps with you in his arms. when he woke up he stared at the ceiling, and it was like it was talking to him. thats when he realized you werent coming back. you wont be in his arms again, you wont tell him about your day, and you wont constantly tired of arguing with him because of his doubts.
! - after trapping himself in his house and thoughts he decided to go on a walk, but to his suprise once he opens the door you stand there staring at him with a box of his things in your hands. his mouth goes dry
-
M. JAEHYUN ; girl bestfriend
! - you were the never the type of partner to care too much about the opposite gender best friends as you were very secure in your relationship, but in this case it wasnt him but rather her. you knew from the moment she laid her eyes on you she was no good. but you decided to give her the benefit of the doubt as this was jaehyuns childhood bestfriend, and if you didnt like her you could at least pretend for your boyfriends sake.
! - you were always calm and reserved around jaehyun and his bestfriend even on those dsys you wanted to push her off him. but today it was like a flip switched. you walked home soaked from the rain after not being to reach your boyfriend to pick you up. you get it he’s busy, but your blood boiled when you saw both of them sitting on the couch peacefully. she looked up at you and grinned as jaehyun ran up to you worried. “jaehyun lets talk in our room please” you simply asked. he followed you to you and his shared room with a towel drying you off as you spoke. “i really hate to do this to you but its either me or her.” he paused his movements of drying your hair “you know i cant do that. ive known her for so long do you not trust me?” he said defensive. “i dont trust her” you said blandly, he stared at you and started lecturing you on how his bestfriend gave you no reason to not trust her. you didnt argue back, you were too tired for it you just said “she likes you jaehyun”. he paused and continued lecturing you about how thats ridiculous. you shake your head and pack your things “clearly i know your answer.” he continues on and on on how youre being ridiculous. once you leave the door he puts his hand in his face.
! - it took him like 5 minutes to realize he messed up (bye.) his friend came into your room and sat down by him as he listened to him rant. “you know…” she said slowly “y/n’s not wrong” his ears perked up at that “ive always liked you jaehyun, your just too silly to realize.” he freezes at her words, feeling his blood run cold he feels her fingers on his chin and her leaning in. he backs up and kicks her out despite her protest. once he locked the door and is left in the empty haunting house alone he scrambles for his phone. after finding it he opens it to all your messages asking if he can pick you up. it made him nauseous at the thought he left you alone and cold for his ‘friend’ that was the cause of your breakup. he calls you to which you dont answer, he starts panicking at this point and paces in the house as he mass text and call you just wanting a answer. he pauses in front of him at the only room he hasnt stepped room in since pacing. your bedroom. he walks in and lays down only to be reminded of your scent when he lifts the blankets over his head. thats when he starts crying and realized you weren’t there to hold him like you normally did
! - he didnt have his safe space anymore.
-
H. TAESAN ; distant
! - you hated to admit it but one of the things that drew you into taesan was the thing that made you end things. his cold demeanor was what made everyone so curious about him, fortunately or unfortunately you were the one he picked to be into his very small circle to which you became his partner. during this you learned he loved his alone time which you were fine with, what threw you off was the way he signaled to you he wanted to be alone. he would ignore you in public and not reply to your messages as if you didnt know each other. you were okay with it at first since you loved your strange boyfriend but after a while you grew tired of it. tired of breaking down his walls and when you finally feel accepted by him only to be shut out again
! - and clearly it was a mistake bringing it up to him because it lead him to being the loudest you ever heard him, arguing back and forth. “i dont get why you just have to pretend you don’t know me. im fine with you needing your alone space but why do you have to act like you hate me?”
“im starting to if thats how your gonna react to me needing my time every so often.”
you couldnt argue anymore, especially when he just admitted he was close to hating you for communicating your feelings. the room went quiet, taesan looks over his shoulder to see you staring at the ground before walking off. after that day you didnt text first or initiate anything to see if he would, unfortunately to you. he didnt.
! - it took him about a month to realize he messed up (sorry taesan lovers:c). but dont get me wrong, its not like he went on with his life like normal. everyday it felt like he was missing something but he could never put his finger on this feeling so he just dismissed it. until one day by instinct he sat at your twos spot alone and your guys song started to play in his headphones. he was never one to communicate his feelings too well but that didnt mean he didnt care for you. he would dedicate songs to you and one just fit perfectly with you two. when the song played he looked around and realized where he was with what song was playing only to see something is missing
you.
and thats when it hit him, he didnt get his usual messages, his hugs, or his sneaky looks from you. he was alone, but wasnt this what he wanted?
he wanted to be alone right?
he loved it.
right?
he then realized
he loves you more then he loved being alone.
was it worth it to lose one thing you love more to prioritize the other?
-
K.LEEHAN ; too friendly
! - from the beginning you knew dating leehan came with a price. everyone wanted him. some more bold than others that would go up to him and ask him out even when he had a partner. his reaction to these admirers was a stranger then how a boyfriend would react to girls hitting on him. he’d entertain the girls in front for you just to see your reaction. you knew he loved seeing you jealous which was cute at first but after a while it got old. it started to make you doubt whether he really loved you or not. if the girls would compliment leehan he’d start asking for details, “oh yeah? how much do you like me?” “my arms are pretty strong arent they?” or he’d start teasing “calm down my partners infront of me, maybe later” to which the girls, including him would laugh as he looked over to see your fuming face.
! - but this one time, you couldnt take it anymore. if this is what dating someone admired upon was like, you wanted no part. it was like normal. girls would swarm around you and leehan and start flirting, but his one comment ticked you off. “yeah of course we can hangout, im sure my partner wont mind” he winked, he looks over at you expecting to see your puffy angry face but is met with you leaving the table. he follows behind you calling for you. when he finally catches up to you thats when you spew everything youve been feeling. “i can understand if your admired i get it your handsome! but your taken and you should know that, no normal boyfriend flirts back with girls who flirt with him. i have to deal with this closing feeling in my throat and chest all because you want a little enjoyment for your day and im done.” he looked at you confused with a hint of being offended. “youre overreacting yn.” he said before being cut off with you walking away.
! - he realized he messed up 6 days later. its not like he didnt care, but he was in his state of mind that youll run back like any of his fangirls would. during those days he continued to flirt back with them now that his flock was much bigger now that he was single. but this time he flirted back much less enthusiastic as he would before, because he had no reason to, no reaction, no partner to coddle after. he now felt sick with the thought of flirting with anyone to start dating if it wasnt you. he got up from the table to which he recieved a bunch of whines and pleads to stay. he just needed fresh air. he continued walking around campus until he heard a familiar laugh. he turned his head over and seen you with another person, laughing and getting all close like you and him use too. now staring from afar he understood what you meant. he felt his chest and throat closing at the thought sight of you reliving what you and him would do with someone that wasnt him. and his words replay in his mind
“you’re overreacting yn”
“your overreacting”
“overreacting”
in fact you were not overreacting but he knew he had no right to be jealous, when his urge for you to be jealous tore you two apart.
he was on the verge of spilling his guts and you looked happy. not angry, and thats what you deserved
-
K. WOONHAK ; always mad at you
! - woonhak has always been very open about his anger issues and you knew that. he was just a teen living his first life and you acknowledged that. on certain days he would hold grudges against you and not tell you why he was angry, leaving you alone to figure out and trace back to see what you had done. and it was always something small like giving him only 2 hugs instead of 3 for morning, afternoon, and night. and forbid you try to get him to communicate why he is mad at you. he’ll turn into a big angry ball yelling at every reason he should be mad
! - this one day you were so tired from school. you just wanted to walk home with your boyfriend and hopefully cuddle at home. but he wasnt waiting for you outside your class, instead you already saw him walking out of the school. catching up to him you say hi and start asking him about his day to which you recieve a mean face ignoring you. deciding to avoid that you talked about your day to which he paid no attention to. thats when you snapped “hey im talking to you!” no reply “why do you always do this, you just get mad at me and expect me to read your mind!” he turned over to you and yelled back “i dont know why you can never just think, is it that hard to realize what you did?” “no i cant read your mind woonhak!”. he just turned away and started to walk “woonhak if you keep walking were over!” he paused, to which you hoped he’d come to his senses but he kept walking
! - he realized he messed up 1 days after. day 1, he completely forgot about the night before as it was so normal for him to go back to not being mad at you when he felt like it. when you didnt walk to school with him he decided that was his reasoning for being mad you today. and when you didnt run up to him or walk up to him after school to walk together he started to be a bit confused. here is when youd start to cave but as he walked home he retraced his memory with each step and remembered what you had said when he was being petty.
‘ “woonhak if you keep walking were over!” ‘
he just kept walking, and now you werent his to walk anymore.
-
“is it so wrong of me to hope she breaks your heart, is it so wrong for me to pray she tears you apart?”
#Spotify#serejae#bnd x reader#bnd jaehyun#bnd fluff#boynextdoor reactions#boynextdoor imagines#bnd imagines#boynextdoor#bnd#boynextdoor x reader#bnd reactions#bnd sungho#bnd riwoo#bnd woonhak#bnd leehan#bnd taesan#taesan x reader#myung jaehyun x reader#jaehyun x reader#woonhak x reader#sungho x reader#riwoo x reader#leehan x reader#bnd angst#boynextdoor angst
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The triplets are on stream and y/n is just laying on Matt’s bed (probably reading idk idk) and the whole chat explodes and begs for Matt to bring her to the stream.
He pulls her into his lap, wrapping his arm around her stomach and they’re being all cute for the rest of stream. That is until what happens after….
“come on y/n, we have to give the people what they want” he smirks but you just curl further into his comforter. your not one of those people that like being on camera and never have been. you’d kinda been in a mood the whole day anyway, and to your embarrassment, it was because you are so incredibly horny. matt has been so busy this week that you guys have almost had no time this week to do it. to make matters worse, today was supposed to be his free day, a day to spend just you and him, but him and his brothers insisted they do a suprise stream for the fans. so to say you could care less about what the fans want right now is an understatement.
“tell the fans i’m tired of their bullshit, matt.” you roll your eyes. “and im getting tired of yours too.” you roll over so your back is facing him and wrap his comforter over your head. he’s probably going to be a couple of hours, might as well take a nap.
you go to close your eyes when your phone pings with a notification from matt. you turn your neck to look at him, confused why he’s texting you when your in the room with him, but he’s just facing his pc. you turn back around and click on the message.
loose the attitude and behave.
then i might just give you what you want baby.
your thighs squeeze together at the thought of matt giving you exactly what you want. your practically drooling at the thought. when you go to respond to him, theres an image waiting for you already. its a picture of matts hard buldge encased in his sweatpants. his veiny hand rest right beside it and you want nothing more than to replace his hand with yours. all hatred for the stream aside, you practically skip to matt. he smirks and grabs your waist. he slides his chair out to give you room and you see his boner for the second time today. he gives you a knowing look and pulls you onto his lap right on top of it. with both your legs now straddling his hips, he thrust his hips up, and to the fans it probably look like he’s just trying to get comfortable, but you both knew it was just way to get you more worked up. at this point your so wet, it has to be leaving a stain on his pants, and he is loving every second.
“here she is.” he coos and the fans blow up the chat. you rest your head on his chest and prepare to relax because you know he’s still going to be a while. you sigh at the thought and he kisses your head in response. he mutes his mic for a second and he pulls his head down so his lips meet your ear. “being such a good girl, so patient for me. gonna take such good care of you.” you whine at his words and he grabs your hips to stop the onslaught of movement he knew you were about to make.
seeing how riled up you are makes him even more desperate to have you ride him into oblivion, so he relents. “hey guys, its been cool but i think i’m going to log off right now. see you guys next week, have fun with nick and chris” he says and immediately ends the stream. not even a second after he ends it, his mouth is on yours. the kiss is hot and passionate, matt bites your lips slightly and you allow him access into your mouth. you reach both hands up into his brown hair and tug slightly and he groans into your mouth. he pulls back and holds eye contact with you while moving your hips against him. the eye contact made everything more intimate and you loved it. with both of your mouths agape, he starts grinding you down on him harder and thrusting up slightly. your panties are ruined and you can hear the slooshing sound it makes against him. “are you ready for me baby? i can hear how wet you are” he whispers in the husky tone you loved so much. “yes, matt” you moan back in response. his pupils dialate and he picks you up and places you on the bed. he gently pulls your pants and panties down before rubbing your slit. you writhe against his hand and his breathing gets heavier watching your body move. “tell me how much you want it” matt mutters in a trance. “please matt, i want you inside me. i need you” you say batting your eyes at him the way you know drives him insane.
he groans and pulls his pants down, lining his huge dick to your opening. “who am i to say no to my baby?” he says as he slides into you. both of you let out a pornographic moan. he ruts into you at a fast pace, wasting no time and you can feel your cunt start to tighten around him. “jesus, keep squeezing me like that and im going to fucking lose it” he says breathlessly. he leans his head into the crook of your neck and inhales your perfume. he groans into your ear and you whine at the overwhelmingness of it all. his body on yours, his pretty blue eyes watching you, and his cock deep inside you. then all of sudden he pulls out of you. “matt- what?” you say tears starting to form in your eyes. you were in your submissive state and matt felt bad because he knew you needed him. so he wasted no time telling you what to do.
“don’t worry, im still going to take care of you sweetheart. just want you to ride me until your cumming and screaming my name.” he strokes yoir hair and places a light kiss on your cheek like he hadn’t just said the dirtiest thing he could think of. “that sound good to you?” he whispers with your faces inches apart. “yes, matt please” you say desperately as he lays down. he taps your thigh and you swing it over his hip. he helps guide you down on his dick and holds your hips there so he can get a hold of himself. once he lets go, you take that as a sign to move and you begin to bounce up and down on him. your tits bounce with you and your face gives off the pleasure your feeling as you bounce harder and faster. “so pretty, baby. i love seeing you like this” he groans and you sit all the way down on him. you start to whine on his dick and he whimpers which means he’s close. “cum with me, pretty” he grips your hips harder and moves you faster against him. with your clit rubbing against his stomach and his dick deep inside of you, its enough to push you over the edge. “matt- mm- fuck matt.” you moan louder than you have the whole night. “thats it baby. thats it” he coos as he fills you up and helps you ride out your orgasm.
after both of you wind down, you flop down next to him. he chuckles and pushes your hair out of your face. “what happened to you, kid. looks like you just got ran over” he jokes kissing you before grabbing a towel to clean you up with. he climbs back into bed with you, spooning you and placing soft kisses all over your neck. you look over and see his phone lighting up.
“nick’s calling” you say while giving him his phone. matt puts it on speaker and nick starts yelling immediately.
“YOU NASTY FUCKS, YOU DO REALIZE THE WALLS ARENT SOUNDPROOF, ME AND CHRIS COULD HEAR EVERYTHING. CHRIS LITERALLY LEFT BECAUSE OF IT, YOU GUYS SHOULD BE ASHAMED” he yells without pause
you and matt break out laughing and nick continues to yell at you guys for being nasty.
this is the good life
A/n- thank you for the request, loved it! if you want me to write something else im down, love yall
@bbernard-03
@sturnthepot
@hoeformatt
@sturtriple16
@faygo-frog
@sturniol0s
@katie-tibo
@l34n
@sturnslimited
@chrissv4mp
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo smut
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percy will a s/o that’s always sleeping🫶
BLUE - NOISE
a/n : this is so bad 😭😭😭
pairing : in love!percy jackson x hermes kid!reader
summary : in which percy jackson has his best birthday yet.
!!! : praying for more reqs, this one is so cute, i try my best 😞, maybe the plot was the friends we made along the way, unspecified demigod reader, book percy, ooc camp, i wanted it to be rainy in camp so ITS GOINF TO RAIN 🤬, the curse of never being able to write alot returns, THIS IS SO BAD
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
people at camp could’ve sworn there had been a mix up in olympus.
you. an hermes child? what a laugh.
you had to be a kid of hypnos. you slept so much, how couldn’t you? genuinely you couldn’t peel yourself off your bed like ever. everyone in camp knew, you were the person in cabin 11 that won’t get out bed if not needed. alcoholics had alcohol, gamblers had casinos but you… you had something far more worse.
you had the (in your humble opinion) the most comfortable bed in all of camp. sure, it wasn’t a 5 star hotel quality but shit was it good.
and more importantly it was the beds fault that you were oh so tired all the time and you just needed to sleep more than half the day.
everyone else couldn’t care less.. your siblings would just give you a small glance before ignoring you because honestly it was more surprising to see you awake! and trust me when you started dating percy.. did this get worse.
whatever you thought about having the best bed in camp was trampled on and thrown over a cliff edge the moment you laid in percy’s bed.
not only was his bed adorned with comfortable sheets and pillows his cabin was quiet.
-
percy didn’t understand however.
how on earth could you sleep when you have the most handsome and amazing boyfriend in all of the whole universe??
he has whined and frowned at you multiple times but you’ve slickly avoided his dramatics by lathering him up with sweet and sappy comments like “im dreaming of you~” that make annabeth and grover cringe at when he goes and boasts to them.
but today,
today you couldn’t avoid the dread of getting out of bed.
-
you stood at the foot of his bed holding a plate of waffles, blue ones. it was far too early for you, (it was 8am) but it was percy’s birthday. you weren’t going to neglect your boyfriend because gods you would never hear the end of it. so you decided to go against your force of nature and got up to whip up a batch of waffles for him.
despite it being the midst of summer rain pelted down against the hard exterior of cabin 3. it didn’t rain usually in camp, the rain would usually just pass right by but maybe the gods were arguing again and the storm was especially hard this day.
sluggishly you drag your feet to stand beside the bed in which percy sleeping.
you wished that was you.
the plate adorning the blue waffles are set down on his bedside table and you place a gentle hand on his shoulder shaking him. despite your (sucky) efforts he doesn’t stir awake.
you grab his arm now with both hands and you shake him harder than before and finally does he grumble awake.
he looks up at you, confused.
“happy birthday, idiot” you pick up and hold the plate of waffles up so he could see them a tired but sweet look on your face. he sits up on his elbows and a dopey smile appears on his face, a very common smile he shines when he looks at you.
“this all for me?” percy sits up fully now taking the plate from you and he smiles bigger now gaining his full conscious. he pats the empty side of the bed next to him and you basically throw yourself into the white sheets.
despite the innate need to sink further in and take ahold of the sleep thats so desperately trying to drag you down you sit up and watch him. “you’re up, today.” percy teases, his shoulder nudging yours.
“just shut up and eat your breakfast.” you laugh softly amused by his jokes.
he begins gobbling the waffles down, scoffing down the cream on top and cleaning the plate of any remains of food. it was actually very impressive how well he ate all of it.
percy’s eyes trail to the window of his cabin his eyes watching as the raindrops pelt down at the glass and the sound of the rain hitting the walls and roof echo loudly.
-
percy places the plate back onto the bedside and looks out the window. “say aye if your in to stay home all day?” he peeks at you, another dopey smile that you just couldn’t resist is painted on his face.
you didn’t even reply to him, your arm snakes around his collarbone and you basically slump him into bed. you both lay on your back and then percy starts talking.
he always did this. percy would talk and talk and talk while you laid next to him, even if you were asleep he would keep going. just the feeling of having you next to him was comfortable so he would talk about all different kinds of things and today wasn’t any different.
you however wanted to listen to him today but oh geez was it hard.
again it wasn’t your fault that his voice was smooth and calming to listen to even of he was talking about how he fell one time and scraped his knee when he was 7. it was like ypur white noise. you already slept a fuck-ton and having a boyfriend with the most sweetest voice was not helping you.
he held your hand as he laid next to you, his eyes tracing every detail of the ceiling as his fingers dance along your palm. he starts telling you all about how his first quest went. a story you’ve heard over.. and over and over again.
“when i started my quest..” blah blah blah.
your eyes shut and all you could focus on was his voice and the noise of water hitting the window panes. his hand was warm in yours and with his free hand percy pulls the covers over the both of you so only your heads were poking out. he slips his arm under your head and his other hand grabs yours again as he keeps rambling on.
before you could fully drift off you turn into him, you could feel his eyes on you as he watches you shift and his words pause for a moment.
“i love you.” he whispers, hoping that you were asleep. you smile into his skin, a clear sign you were still all there.
“i love you too, happy birthday percy.” you half open your eyes you pull his face down by grabbing his cheeks and you kiss under his eye before moving back down.
percy flashes his signature smile before his story changes from his quest to tell you about how on his 9th birthday his mom baked him a blue cake and how it was awesome. you make a mental note to yourself before drifitng off.
you dreamt of percy that night.
let me rephrase that.
you dream of percy.
you dream of him even though he is yours.
his pretty green eyes, his black hair, his sandy skin on the beach. but more often than not you dream of him like how you are now.
cuddled up beside you, warm under the covers as he tells you about all kinds of things like how he thinks the universe was made.
you dream about him dreaming of you which you know he does (since he tells you).
you dream about the way he wants you despite your sleeping routines, you dream about the way he calls you his sleeping beauty.
yet all those dreams are the reality you live. maybe missing a few hours off of slumber isn’t all that bad when your spending it with the boy you see when you close your eyes.
-
@yawneon
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𝗖𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗚𝗜𝗬𝗨𝗨
𝙨𝙮𝙣. ━ its late at night and giyuu feels safe in your arms.
━ 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. i just want to tuck him into bed so bad and give him lil forehead kisses. i won’t stop saying it I LOVE THIS MAN 🗣️🗣️.
━ 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. AHH IM SORRYYY ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ PLS i went on vacation and got the covid,, it was SO bad i couldn’t function. buuuut moving on — i’ve said it before but ill say it again, thank you soo much for all the love and support ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ seriously, all the likes and reblogs have me very humble. i only ever write for myself so seeing you all enjoy my little stories make me so happy !!
━ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. fluffy fluff. cuddles! probably v short, and v bad omg. gender-neutral reader. giyuu-centric. assumed but not mentioned, modern reader in kny. crochet mention ah! 0.9k words.
It always starts like this when Giyuu can’t think straight. His brain is fuzzy and worn out from the day. He often wonders how he gets into these positions, but he’s aware that you just know him too well. Probably because you do know him better than he knows himself.
He always thinks about the time before it became you and him. Where the thought itched at his brain constantly. He fantasized about it. It was so hard not to in every waking moment, he even wondered if it was going to be the death of him.
But here he was, nose buried in the crevice of your neck, laying onto you just enough that he didn’t crush you; but you’d never complain if he did. His free arm wrapped around your midsection just enough to allow his hand to grip your side. The pads of his fingers barely dig into your skin. You could probably feel the tension in his body, his hands are firm and rigid against you. Perhaps he’s just a bit nervous you’d disappear if he didn’t hold onto you tight enough. He might apologize for that, or the fact that his hair is definitely in your face.
Oh, but you might giggle. He can hear it. It’s soft and light. You're so amused by him sometimes. You might call him silly, or you might not say anything at all. You might give the sensitive part of his scalp a good scratch to shut him up. You might, and you always do. The feeling of your nails dig into his head makes him squeak. The way your fingers brush against the strands of his hair. It’s heavenly. He buries his head deeper because he’s so embarrassed. His face is hot, and after all this time he’s still so touched-starved. The smallest bit of your attention destroys any functioning brain cells he has left.
It’s just so good being in your arms. It’s just as good as when you're in his. It’s rare, but when that happens he loves the weight of you on top of him. It grounds him back down to earth. And you’re so cute. Somehow you always end up holding his hand, holding it close to your chest and nuzzling yourself against him more. He can’t get over that you want to be around him as much as he wants to be around you.
Giyuu lets out a sigh in contentment.
He’s so tired but he’s so excited. It’s not his fault that he views you as perfection and it’s also not his fault for taking advantage of the attention you desperately want to give him. You’re so generous, and Giyuu had been looking forward to this for days. His mission had been taking too long for his liking and he wondered if this was some sick torment the universe enjoyed toying at him with. All he wanted was to be at his estate, with you.
But you were such a night owl and that was something that Giyuu found out pretty quick. You spent more time awake in his presence than he did with you. Giyuu thinks, and he wouldn’t be wrong, that you try to savor as much time as you can with him. It’s true, you wouldn’t deny it. But you had sleeping problems long before being with Giyuu; though, it makes him feel guilty that he somehow makes it worse.
You were crocheting something, as always, trying to tire yourself out mentally. Your hands working on the project were raised just above his face, and your elbow could be found resting against his upper back. It was so soothing, the way he could feel you working your hook in and out of the stitches. And every so often a stray piece of yarn might’ve brushed against his cheek or nose, tickling him ever so slightly.
It felt nice. The way you had him caged in your arms. He felt so protected and Giyuu couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe.
He doesn’t know what you’re making; but he’s sure whatever it is will be perfect.
One day he’d get you to sleep though. Yes, he’d get you to drift off so peacefully and do the same to bring you just as much comfort that you do for him. He’d play with your hair. He knows you’d like that. He can almost see it now. The cute noises you’d make and the content, sleepy sigh you’d give as he has you wrapped up in his arms.
He’s in and out of sleep now, drifting off for a few minutes at a time. But he really can’t stay awake anymore. Even though he really wants to. He feels you put your crochet things to the side. However, he barely registers the mumble under your breath when the metal hook makes a ‘TINK’ sound when it’s placed.
It wasn’t too loud but it was too loud for you. You apologize, softly whispering to him but honestly, Giyuu doesn’t know what for. It didn’t disturb him, though he doesn’t worry too much about it when you give a little kiss on his forehead.
He snuggles closer, if that is even possible at this point. He’s on auto pilot as you bring the covers up more over the both of you. You tuck the material right up near his chin and the only thought he has is how cruel it was to make him get up tomorrow morning. Maybe you give him a few more kisses. They’re delicate and you even give him a gentle squeeze as you bring your arms around him; a small ‘love you’ is drowsily whispered through your lips as you rest your head on his.
And Giyuu is out, just like that.
thank u for reading, luv u (◍•ᴗ•◍)
#giyuu x you#kny giyuu#demon slayer giyuu#kny x reader#kny x you#no use of y/n#no y/n#demon slayer x reader#giyuu x reader#giyuu tomioka x reader#x reader#demon slayer#demon slayer x you#demon slayer x y/n#reader insert#oneshot#imagine#giyuu tomioka#giyuu tomioka x y/n#x you#kimetsu no yaiba#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x you#kny giyu x reader#kny giyuu tomioka#giyuu tomioka my love
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“Fit For an Archon”
— in which the Hydro Archon is fascinated by you
a/n- happy pride month to all my wlw, i wrote this for us <3 im sorry for how long it is (gasp)
word count (7.1k)
You are the worst seamstress in Fontaine.
You’re sure of it.
Your hands seem to repel fabric, your needle poisoning the thread in which you clumsily stitch with and leaving you with a truly horrendous looking frock.
Chiori, bless her soul, had hired you as a a request from your Father, who, in Chiori’s defence, was a fantastic tailor, renowned for his intricate stitching and detailed attires- Truly a renaissance for Fontaine fashion.
And so when he left Chioris business, set to start his own amiss the bustling harbours of Liyue, you found yourself tucked away, working in his place for Chiori, who was currently frowning pensivly down at your work, as if it had personally offended her.
“…It’s bad isn’t it?” You state, looking intensely at your boss who chewed on her painted bottom lip, head cocked, wondering how in Tevat you were your Fathers daughter.
“It’s not…Awful” She tries, although not very well, her gaze fixed on the uneven stitching and the deplorable match of colour.
“Better than last time?” You question, a terrible sense of hope clouding your voice, hopeful that maybe, just maybe you were improving-
“No, no, definitely worse.” Chiori mutters, and your face falls.
She sticks a hand out and touches the skirt you had presented her with, lifting it up.
The seams fall and the skirt halves in her grasp, and you cringe silently, eyes closing in embarrassment.
“Hm.” She ponders, turning to stare at you from over her shoulder, an eyebrow raised.
“It’s…Meant to do that?” You try, shoulders raising in contention, only to be silenced again at the shake of her head.
“Take a break Y/N.” Chiori says, tired under attempts to support your terrible creations.
You don’t argue with her, immediately fleeing the boutique as if you were being hunted down by the God King Remus himself.
The bell on the door dings as you exit, waving goodbye to your co-workers who scoff at your exit, whispering words under their breath that you chose not to render.
You just needed to stick this job out until you had enough income to quit.
But- with the state of your designs and the even worse execution of said designs, you doubt you’d ever make enough to follow through with your intentions.
And really…You barely make ends meet as it is.
Oh God.
You kick a stone and watch as it skims across the tarmac, bouncing up and down until skidding to a stop metres before you.
You hate being a seamstress.
Making it to the manufactured river, you slump down, lazily throwing your legs off of the sides, your boots delicately touching the water surface below.
The same way they always did when Chiori sends you away.
How ridiculously boring.
Fontaine’s a-lot quieter in the evening, most people finding themselves at the Opera Epiclese to watch a spectacle, faces tinged red with excitement.
You prefer it when it’s quiet, when the streets are empty. It means you can lie backwards on the hard ground without too much judgement from your fellow citizens.
Your legs still bent down towards the water, with your back on the concrete dock, you allow yourself a breath.
You hear footsteps somewhere off to your right but pay them no mind. After all, passing judgement is only ever passing, and you’re sure whoever it is will waltz past you, giving you a confused once over before immediately forgetting your face.
You stretch one of your legs and break the surface of the river, feeling the tip of your boot soak up the water briefly, before you’re lifting it back out, shaking it gently to dry it off.
Someone cleared their throat behind you and you sign with the frustration of interrupted serenity.
Can you truly not have anything?
Pushing yourself up with your elbows, you turn your face the perpetrator, eyebrows drawn down to a frown.
You were gonna stare them out until they left you to mope at this stupid river, politeness be dammed!
.
.
.
It’s Focalors behind you.
Lady Furina.
Every retort resting on your tongue is swallowed up, getting stuck in the back of your throat and you choke on your words, chest heaving in shock.
The Hydro Archon stares down at you, watching your struggle, her arms crossed over her chest and a smug smile on her lips.
Her hair sways in the breeze, tickling her leg and she seems to be quite fascinated in the dress encasing your figure.
A long ruffly mess of colour and mesh with a corset that one would barely call fitting, you look like a run away mannequin, pathetically thrown together before your God.
“Lady Furina.” You wheeze, propelling yourself to your feet, dropping into a bow, your skirt following comically behind.
Why is she here? Is she not fond of the Opera house? Archons people wait half their lives to meet her and here you are face to face with God through pure circumstance.
She waves a gloved hand in your direction, dismissing your bow entirely, eyes still drawn to the fabric of your gown.
“Your..attire is quite interesting.” She states bluntly, walking two steps to the left to capture your dress from all angles.
Your face flushes, “Thank you Lady Furina, it’s an honour to be complimented by-”
“Were you supposed to be in the opera?” She cuts you off, turning her body in the general direction of the Epiclese.
“What?” You answer before finding your manners, “I mean n-no it’s my….” You sigh, shoulders slumping, “I’m a seamstress.”
Lady Furina pauses, her head lifting you look at your face, studying it with such precision that you feel yourself bite back the desire to look away.
“..A seamstress?”
“Unfortunately.”
“Oh.”
The pair of you look at each other for a moment before she throws her head back and laughs. It echoes around the empty streets of Fontaine and reverberates right into your ears.
“I suspected as much!” She guffaws, clapping her hands together.
You cock your head, confused, “No you didn’t?” You reply, unable to stop the offence in your voice.
Sure you weren’t good at your job but you liked this dress! And you were definitely not apart of any play!
Lady Furina’s laugh trails off and she stares at you, her lip between her teeth, holding back a grin.
“Tell me!” She begins again, and you shudder at the volume of her voice. “Why is it that you look so sad?”
“Huh?” You question, eyes widening in confusion.
Furina smiles, it brightens her face, before pointing at you then back to herself, “As your Archon it is my duty to right the wrongs of Fontaine, and you appeared so gloomy that I had no choice but to journey off my path to check up on you!”
Shame forces its way through your body and you shake your head, holding out your sweaty palms to face her, “Lady Furina you do not need to trouble yourself with my issues, trust me.” And you shiver against her unblinking gaze, “Please, continue on your way..” You awkwardly laugh, gesturing to the street, dying inside.
Furina blinks at you, “You don’t want to share problems for me?”
You take a step back, bashfully shaking your head, “I mean no offence…”
It’s awkward.
Furina tilts her head, studying you, confused.
She is far too use to Fontainians requesting her opinions on trivial matters so much so that the blatant avoidance from you is baffling.
You scratch the back of your hand in the silence.
Lady Furina watches you, dissecting you with her eyes, trying to go over every woe that past Fontainians had brought to her omnipresent ears.
You chuckle, trying to force her gaze off of you before you melt and join the water behind you.
“You’re not watching the play?” You say, gesturing in the general direction of the Epiclese, pleading silently for her to stop looking at you like that.
She shakes her head, closing her eyes, “I’ve seen it before, it gets quite tiresome seeing the same thing over and over again.”
Oh
“Oh”
Lady Furina grins, her opposing eyes still gracing your face as if you were so easy to figure out.
“Do you…Hate your job?”
You gawk at her.
She smirks.
Jack pot.
“I’m right aren’t I? You can save your praise, I know I’m truly otherworldly when it comes to intuition.” She fans her hand up and down at you, throwing her pretty head back dramatically.
“Must be a gift from Celestia then.” You conclude, turning away from her and sitting back down at your river side.
You’re slightly peeved at her reaction and would rather not disrespect an Archon so early in your life, so you do not face her with your glare.
“Come now.” Lady Furina says, strolling over to you, “I only joke.”
The Hydro Archon was now sitting beside you, kicking her feet in the water.
This truly cannot be real.
You sigh.
Well, if she’s asking, you may as well answer.
What’s another sinner to an Archon anyway.
“Do you ever feel trapped by the wishes of another?” You ask, defeat clouding your senses as you speak.
Lady Furina stills, but you do not notice.
“My Father, asked me to keep on his legacy in Fontaine, he’s a brilliant tailor, I mean, it’s like he was born to be one…”
You trail off, and splash your foot into the water, “And I just- I’m terrible at being a seamstress, I can’t even pretend to enjoy it because I am so utterly rubbish at it.”
She’s watching you, you can feel it. It’s as intense as your emotions, you almost shy away.
“Sorry.” You mutter, “I don’t know why I’m asking. It’s not like you have to struggle with these “mortal issues.”
You laugh bitterly in the silence of your confession.
Lady Furina’s hand slightly brushes yours and you wonder if she notices.
The pair of you sit quietly for a moment, your face growing warmer in the seconds.
You’re about to apologise again, your words on the tip of your tongue before she speaks, ripping the pages from your mouth.
“I always find it fascinating to hear how Mortals think.”
“Hm?”
“How they can voice their feelings so freely, it has always struck me.” Her voice is a lot quieter, you almost mistake her for someone else.
You glance, taking in the side of Lady Furina’s face, her soft features seem burdened, you hope silently that you were not the cause of her worries.
“An Archon admiring her subjects…” You say, slicing through the quiet, “That’s quite comforting actually.”
Lady Furina tilts her head, narrowing her dainty eyebrows quizzingly, “Pardon?”
You smile, and hope it reaches both your eyes and hers. “You care. It’s kind.”
She’s watching you again, her chest rising and falling in tandem to the gentle swish of the water.
You place an arm on your knee and rest you head in your palm, feeling bold.
“It must be lonely being a God.”
And her eyes grow wide, for a split second, before she’s blinking and resuming her facade of impassive control.
“What ever do you mean?”
“There’s no higher being to think about you.” You reply, introspection fluctuating in your words before it slaps you back into reality with a cold hand.
“Uh- Pardon me, I don’t mean to call you lonely I just-”
“It’s quite alright.” Lady Furina says, straightening up, her hair brushing your shoulder and her hand moving from yours. “You did not mean any harm.”
She moves to stand, and you watch, perplexed.
“You have the freedom to quit.” She says simply, “There is no higher deity forcing you to stay.” And she smiles, “All will be ok.”
She leaves as fast as she had arrived and you’re left alone to think.
Strange you think.
You hope you didn’t offend her.
—
When it’s not raining, the sun has a habit of overstaying her welcome.
It’s absolutely roasting in Fontaine, and so when Chiori asked if you would stay behind to finish your garment after work hours, you jumped at the opportunity to relish in the cool breeze of the back rooms.
Besides, you feel less embarrassed working by yourself, with nobody around to mock your gowns.
You flinch as you pierce the skin of your finger, watching as a maroon red slides into your palm.
You wipe it on your dress, it clashes with the colour.
“Do you always make a habit of wearing the most..peculiar garments?”
You jump, dropping your needle onto the sickly pink fabric, you wince as it falls, sure to be lost forever.
“L-Lady Furina?” You gasp, turning your body towards her, your dress swishing in your movement as you try pathetically bow your head in her exuberant presence.
“Yes “tis I.” She replies, her arms opening dramatically but her eyes stay focused on your choice of apparel. “Honestly.” She muses, “It’s no wonder they keep you back here…”
Lady Furina glances around your cluttered work room, taking in the flurry of vibrant coloured ribbons dripping out from their boxes, half finished corsets falling apart at their seams and the tatttered fabric unevenly pinned to a mannequin standing just inches away from her.
You step in-front of her, your eyes wide as you try conceal her vision of your failures, a sheepish grimace on your face.
“Um, we’re closed today, it’s only me in- uh how did you get inside-”
“I am the hydro archon.” Furina’s voice booms out, the exaggerated drawl making you cower away from her slightly, “I merely walked in.”
“I thought I had locked the door?” You questioned, taking a step back from her.
“A locked door is no enemy of mine!” She laughs, regarding you with a look oozing with pride, her chest puffed out and head raised.
“Right..” You mumble, picking at the skin on your fingers, nervously swaying back and fourth.
Your fingers are adorned with pricks from your needle, they would bleed should you continue your childish picking, yet you persist, unable to stop your absentminded jittering.
Lady Furina watches your movement, satisfaction appearing to glow in her eyes.
“Now!” She exclaims, wondering over to the only empty surface in the room, an old blue chair, faded with age.
“I need a new ribbon for my hat.” The chair creaks when Furina sits, crossing her legs and staring at you expectantly.
You think the chair isn’t even worthy enough for you to sit on, let alone the God Of Justice.
“I can..Write an order down for a ribbon for when Chiori returns?” Your voice trails off, thwarted by the dull look she regards you with at your suggestion.
“No, no, no!” Furina shakes her head, her actions reminding you of a child, “I want you to make it!”
“I beg you pardon?” Your eyes widen, and you glance around, taking in all your terrible, terrible works of fashion.
“Me?” You breathe, “Lady Furina, if I may- I clearly lack the talent to create anything, let alone something in which an archon should wear.” You hands shake slightly as she stares at you, willing yourself not to blink or look away in her ever present intensity. “You know this.”
“But I demanded it?” She cocks her head, reaching up to take her hat off, outstretching her arms to look at it intently.
Her hair falls down, it cascades down her shoulders like water and you hold yourself back from counting the waves between each strand, instead choosing to look away.
Ribbons are simple, you remind yourself.
You’re not entirely deficient in the art of fashion, you’re just…Well- you’re just you.
“So?” Furina says, her voices drags you from the inner monologue whispering in your ear, she pushes the hat in your direction, twirling it so you can view its simplicity from every angle.
Your clasp your hands together, head tilted like a dog.
“I’m thinking.. here.” Her finger rests on in the space between the crown and the brim, “A blue ribbon thats doesn’t blend in with the rest of the hat but adversely will not stand out…”
You nod, it’s curt, Furina smiles, it stretches her face and she all but glows, cheeks flushed.
“You’ll do it then?”
You scratch your arm, and sigh.
“It will look horrid.”
“It will look like it was made by you.” She replies, sweetly, her voice like the silk in which she adorned, you take a second to truly feel the implications behind her words and suddenly feel yourself become quite bashful.
Your heart ticks within your chest and like clockwork you reach your hands out for her hat, avoiding her gaze.
“A blue that doesn’t blend in but also doesn’t stand out?” Your voice is whispered, trying to act assertive but failing all the same.
“Indeed, a ribbon fit for an archon!” Furina appears to get louder the more she reminds you of her status, you cringe at her volume but turn so she does not see.
“I’ll try my best.” You hum, glancing at the box you pathetically labelled “Ribbons”.
You reach out and touch the cardboard confines, pulling it towards you and shuffling some fabric under your finger tips.
Red, yellow, green…the most hideous shade of pink ever- Dear God did you supply this?
Furina sits, twirling a strand of her hair as she watches you, taking in the chaos of your dress and your work space respectfully.
You really had such a unique flare to you.
Your dress was terribly put together, fabric seemingly falling off the skirt, which, in Furina’s opinion, was much too puffy for an average day at work.
When she leaned closer, she could see how the seams were pathetically stitched together, a bundled mess of experimentation that clearly did not work, the sheer fact she could see the stitching was enough of a sign to tell her that you had made this dress yourself.
Furina raises a hand to cover her the genuine smile that ripped across her features.
You truly were fascinating to observe.
“You chose to stay here then?”
You look back at her, a small frown on your face.
“Yea.” You say simply, “It’s just easier.”
She scoffs.
“What?” You reply, indignantly, “I’m still getting paid.”
“You’re staying for the money?”
“I’m staying to save up the money.” You retort, “As soon as I have enough I am gone, you’ll see.”
Furina laughs, you can help but feel melodic, almost sad.
You don’t know what else to do, so you smile, watching as Furina breaks eye contact immediately, coughing into her glove.
“I hope I do.” You hear her say, and you try to ignore the giddy sensation that seems to course through your veins and into your heart.
—
“Lady Furina what an i-interesting bow.”
“I know, I know! Isn’t it just fabulous.”
“It’s um rather…big?”
“Yes? Is there a problem?”
“N-no! I was merely voicing that-”
“If there is no issue then I must bid you farewell. I have a meeting with a most important diplomat, I assume you have already placed the pastries?”
“Yes Lady Furina…”
“Good.”
—
On days when you aren’t in the boutique, you write to your Father.
You write pages upon pages of frustrated scribbles, voicing your resentment of his craft and the comparison to your own, writing furiously about how much you wish to be freed from your job and allowed to travel with him to nations far and wide.
In the end you send none of it, opting instead to write false truths about how honoured you are to work in the darkest parts of his shadow, and how gracious you are for his talents.
You lick the envelope seal and pop it thru the post office window, smiling softly at the old lady behind the glass.
It’s raining in Fontaine today, dark clouds pulsing in the sky, above you, soaking the fabric of your skirt.
It always seems to rain after a trial.
You shake your head. Damn, you should have brought an umbrella.
When you pass by a group of children you hear their yells, pitiful pleads of; “Hydro dragon, hydro dragon don’t cry!”
And you smile and whisper it under your breath as you look to the sky.
Your thoughts circle back to Furina, you hadn’t seen her as much, especially not with the growing fears of the flood of Fontaine.
You wonder if it’s true, wonder how she’ll solve it.
You have faith in her, you think.
There’s no way you’ll drown before you can leave to travel.
There’s no way Fontaine’s Archon would let you all perish under the power of Hydro when she herself is the embodiment of the element.
You have faith.
—
There’s nothing you truly dread more than presentations to the Archon and her people.
And there’s nothing you hate more than how Champvallon, who was standing in for Chiori due to her endeavours in Inazuma, was currently mumbling under his breath at your choice of dress.
You had been running late, quite literally, the ends of your dress stained with dirt, dying the pale blue fabric brown and green.
“You’ll have to stand in the back girl.” He grumbled, his moustache dipping slightly into his mouth, pushing your shoulders and making you move behind your fellow seamstresses, grey eyes pinched into slits as he chastised you.
You heard one of your coworkers giggle from behind her hand, whispering to another about your ill fashioned garments matching your deplorable creations of fashion.
You bit your tongue and glanced at the wooden floor beneath you.
She isn’t wrong, you think, thank Celestia that your tailoring would never see the light of day.
Lady Furina and her entourage enter the room moments later, you think Furina appears to glow and wonder if your eyes are playing tricks on you, or if this is some strange phenomenon one achieves when becoming an archon.
You shake your head and join your party’s collective bow.
You and Furina had grown closer, although, the margin of closeness was confined between her passing by the boutique window and waving in when she saw you, smiling cheekily as she took in your plethora of dresses that just appeared to get more ridiculous with time.
You had begun to crave these moments of seeing her, positioning yourself closer to the window, as to ensure you did not miss her.
You don’t understand why.
Maybe you just liked to see her smile.
…“Lady Furina, we at Chioriya Boutique thank you for allowing us to present our garments for you today.” Champvallon declares. You cringe at his sickly sweet voice that deepens in tone as he continues his speech.
The man behind Lady Furina is Neuvillette, you’re sure of it. High and mighty, his stature as impressive as his title.
And under your breath you repeat the pronunciation of his name, dragging out the syllables from under your tongue.
Lady Furina allows a moment to pass before she prompts, “Ah yes! Only Fontaines best is suited for your justice party.”
The presentation from the boutique takes hours.
Furina catches your eye a few times, and smiles, it’s subtle enough that you almost believe it’s not aimed at you. Ignoring the flutter of your heart everytime her eyes meet your own.
The final designs are being brought out when suddenly you see a creation that makes your heart drop.
Sitting on a cushion, is a broach.
An ugly, bedazzled broach that you were sure you had thrown out.
And it was being carried over to the justice team by a worker who stares at it confused.
“And here we have a broach for the Archon herself.” Says Champvallon, who is still yet to turn his head to view your horrendous work.
You’re paralysed, hands shaking trying to think of a way you can remove the jewellery without causing a scene.
“We hope you adore it as much as we adored making-” Champvallons voice trails off and he looks at the cushion, his eyes widening as he finally see’s what he’s presenting.
You hear the party behind Furina collectively stop their idle chatter and stare.
Everyone looks.
Nobody says anything.
“And who is behind the creation of this…thing?”
You want to die. Truly.
Your heart is in your throat and feel sick, raising a trembling hand as you step forward, your eyes stuck to the ground.
You’re sweating, palms clammy as you take a breath, preparing to be fired in-front of Lady Furina and her circle. Shame appears to drip off your brow and onto the crevices of your cheeks.
“It was me Sir.” You mumble, your voice weak, “But it was an accident I swear!”
Looking towards Lady Furina, you bow your head, pleading silently for her forgiveness, “I never meant to offend.”
“You foolish, troublesome girl.” Hisses Champvallon, his eyes narrowed as he walks towards you.
You bite your lip, and apologise profusely although you know it will not matter.
“Lady Furina.” Champvallon says as he reaches your side, plastering an ugly smile on his furious face, concealing his bitter dissatisfaction.
“I will send someone immediately to retrieve your actual broach, please, hand that one over to one of the maids, I will dispose of it as soon as possible.”
“No need.” Lady Furina says, halting the conversation instantly with a raise of her glove covered hand.
She glances at the miserable looking broach and then towards you, you hold her gaze for a moment before she smiles, recognition flickering across her decorated eyes, finishing her examination of your face.
“I’d like to keep it.”
“Lady Furina?”
Holding the broach in her hands, she raises it to her face, almost as if fascinated by the shameful stitching and the odd colour scheme.
“Lady Furina.” Champvallon stutters, moving away from you, “Your kindness knows no bounds b-but surely you would prefer something a little more..well pleasing to the eye?”
You stare at the back of his head as he leaves your side, counting the freckles on his neck to steady yourself.
“It’s unique, it’s different, Fontainians are known for their eloquence, and I as the God of Hydro must always be challenging these trends.”
Furina peers over her hands to stare at your boss, a dainty eyebrow raised.
“You wouldn’t dare to challenge an Archons will, would you?”
Champvallon splutters, his face warming to a putrid red, his arms rising up as if pleading to surrender.
“N-No I merely thought that-”
“Then it is settled.” Lady Furina laughs, leaning back in her chair and glancing at you.
In your daze, you barely register the tiny wink she sends you way, eyes too focused on the way you broach was now sitting snug, amongst the fabric of her outfit.
It stuck out like a thorn grips the side of a rose and you grimace.
It was ugly, inarguably so.
Neuvillette clears his throat, eyes sweeping over your trembling figure.
“It was you who made this?” He ponders, head tilted slightly.
Your eyes snap to his, and you nod, it’s clumsy and awkward and you hate yourself.
“Um, yes your Honour, I made it.”
“It’s very interesting.” His voice is light, as if trying to filter out the tension pulling the conversation to a standstill, “The yellow and the pink are an unusual yet unique combination, very bright to the eye.”
You breathe out a small smile, as Lady Furina nods her head. “Yes, yes, indeed.”
“Thank you Monsieur Neuvillette, Lady Furina.”
You’re bowing again, chastising yourself for never taking the time to learn how to properly bow for an Archon, and then you’re leaving, hands still shaking, but head lifted just a little bit higher.
Furina doesn’t see you leave, too busy tracing the colours of her broach, smiling down at the terrible stitching as if it were weaved in silk and gold.
The presentation finishes with an awkward finality, with all eyes subconsciously darting down to look at your broach on Furina chest, wondering what in Fontaine their Archon was thinking.
—
You don’t know how, but Lady Furina had became a regular in your life now.
Always managing to catch your eye when you’re walking the streets of your home land.
Popping up randomly behind you just to greet you before leaving.
It appeared she worked in patterns, as if she was use to working by a routine.
You almost assume she appears there on purpose, it’s always far too convenient for it to be by chance.
“Y/N!” You hear one day, you’re sitting outside enjoying your lunch break as Lady Furina approaches you.
You hear a bustle and suddenly Fontainians are flodding the streets, clamouring over to her, crowding her.
You smile as she appears to soak up the attention, flaunting her hands in every direction, acknowledging everyone, one by one.
The people don’t seem to think about the prophecy when Focalor herself is before them, too busy trusting her with their lives to care.
You catch her gaze after a moment, and she puffs out her chest, as if trying to impress you.
Your heart aches.
You blink.
…That’s a strange feeling.
“Now now, my faithful subjects.” She begins, “I must take my leave now, I have very important business to attend to!”
You hear the groans of her people, as they beg her to stay, but reluctantly they remove themselves from her and walk away.
It’s just you and her now and she gestures for you to follow her.
You grow nervous, knowing there are watchers.
You hear them whisper behind their hands, hear them questioning why the “crazy girl from the boutique was the centre of the Hydro Archons attention.”
You cringe, but follow her anyway, your steps timid under eyes.
You think you’d follow her anywhere, but that could just be your adrenaline talking, your heart thumping within the confines of your chest.
“Lady Furina,” You say when you reach an empty alleyway, away from the eyes of Fontaine.
You pause, taking in the cracked bricks in the surrounding walls. “This is…Well- I’ll be honest it’s creepy.”
“Huh.” She says, turning to face you, “It’s more private no?”
“It’s a dark alleyway.” You deadpan.
Furina laughs, taking your hand in a wild moment of humour.
Dear God you hope you aren’t sweating.
“Never fear!” She declares, “As long as I’m here, nothing can harm you.”
Her words draw out a feeling that you don’t allow yourself to delve into, choosing instead let her hold your shaky hand without pulling away.
“I never got to thank you.”
“Thank me?”
You blush.
“For saving my career the other day.”
You see Furinas eyes move, as if trying to recall.
“Oh! The showing.”
You nod, “Thank you for…being so kind.”
You smile at her, and her eyes drops to your teeth in one fast, graceful motion before travelling back to your eyes.
“Always.” She replies, as if it was the simplest concept to her, like washing your hands or falling asleep.
Your face is on fire.
Gods your hands are definitely sweaty now.
Lady Furina shakes her head, as if pulling herself together.
“Now! I’m inviting you to tea.”
What.
“Sorry?”
“Tea. With me, together.”
“No, no I-I got that.”
She smiles, “So?”
“Why in Teyvat would you want to have tea with me?” You question, hope blooming in your chest, overpowering your habit of avoidance.
Furina stills, her face filled with confusion that you don’t get.
“You don’t want tea with me?” Shadows seem to cover her face, and you pull your hand from hers to frantically wave them in front of you.
“No no! Don’t misunderstand me! I’d love to, oh my God there’s nothing I’d enjoy more it’s just that-”
“Just that what?”
“You’re an archon?”
Furina frowns.
“What does that have to do with anything? I’m asking you to join me as a friend, not as an Archon.”
Oh.
Oh.
“Oh.”
You know of your less than extraordinary appearance, and the simplicity of your life. You know that imagining anything more with an Archon is a fantasy so baffling that it even embarrasses you.
But you still can’t fight the disappointment resonating in your chest at the stupid word “Friend”.
Furina doesn’t seem to notice your deflation, instead probing you for an answer. Her hand reaching up to hold your arm, tugging you closer to her.
There’s a hopeful, cheeky look in her eye that you think could persuade even the most hellish of Demons to stand down.
“Well? You’ll join me?”
You sigh, and try to throw on a smile.
You feel like a puppet, your grin has to be ugly, repulsive, even so, you maintain it with cracked continuity.
“Sure.”
—
What does one wear to a date visit with an Archon?
You hate everything you own.
You almost rip your nails off in frustration after the fourth attempt to dress yourself fails.
This is terrible, everything is terrible.
Archons why do you own such ugly clothes!
You hear a knock at your door, and you jump, lifting your head to see Chiori staring at you, her unwavering gaze filtered with confusion.
“Chiori?” You ask, trying to hide the mess of your room.
Or well, her room, saying you were technically leaching off of her house until you could save up enough money to move.
She raises an eyebrow, a silent question of your antics, and you sigh.
“I have nothing to wear.”
“Hm.” Chiori responds, her lip going between her teeth as she takes in the mess of your clothing.
“And since when do you care what you wear?”
You scoff, offended.
“I always care!”
“Right…”
—
You think Chiori was sent by Celestia.
No really, you do.
Especially now when you’re twirling infront of your mirror, admiring her artistry on your body.
“It’s beautiful Chirori.” You whisper, your finger tracing the delicate stitching, enamoured by the sheer amount of detail on your gown.
“It’s hardly my best.” She replies, batting your hand away to finish the seam, “But all my other work is being used for the Fashion festival.”
You grin.
“I get the leftovers then.” You say cheekily, daring to wink at her.
Chiori shakes her head, “You get what I feel is right for you, and this…” She gestures to your dress, “Does look beautiful on you.”
Thank you Celestia you repeat in your head, Thank you for finally giving me a break.
—
You meet Furina at the Palais Mermonia.
She spots you as you walk in, and beckons you to a room across the hall.
Tiny Melusines greet you, and you smile at them, reaching down to pat their little heads.
Furina stills as she takes you in, fully looking at you.
“You look different.” She states, and you stop your movements entirely.
“You’re dressed…” Furina trails off, and your face warms.
“Nicely?” You finish, a teasing smile on your lips, “For a change?”
She shakes her head.
“You always look nice, it’s just jarring to see you wear something so well fitting.”
Her eyes trail along your figure, and you flush, your mind unable to comprehend your compliment.
Furina suddenly pulls herself out of her trance and smiles, putting out a hand for you to take.
“Never-mind that now!” She beams, “Desert time! Come, come!”
And you’re alone with Furina, your hand in hers.
She leads you over to a table adorned with confectionery to last over a hundred life times.
“Do you drink tea? Or would you rather Fonta?” She asks, turning her head to glance at you, and you rip your eyes away from your conjoined hands.
“Uh, tea, tea is good.”
Lady Furina looks at you, her eyebrow raised, “Alright, sugar?”
“Huh!!?”
“Sugar? As in, do you want sugar?”
“Oh! Yes of course!”
You pause, and Furina continues to look at you.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Are you taking sugar?”
Dear God, how are you so pathetic?
“Yes please.” You say silently, embarrassment morphing your face, forcing your head to fall to look at the floor.
Furina sets your tea in front of you, before pulling a chair over to sit next to you.
She watches the way your body seems to shrink in on itself, you hand fiddling with the loose fabric of your gown.
You nervous, and Furina scowls.
She doesn’t like this.
“What’s going on hm?” She asks plainly, and you restrain yourself from jumping at her forwardness.
“I-I’m sorry?” You attempt to delay, taking a sip of your tea, burning your mouth.
“You seem..off.” Furina says, her voice slightly drawn out, a frown on her features. “Have I done something?”
“What? No! Absolutely not you haven’t done anything…” You stammer out, a fake laugh breaking the barriers of your teeth as you try to compose yourself.
“Then why-”
Your eyes dart around the table, choosing to make eye contact with the bread than with her.
“It’s just a lot like wow I’m having tea with a God!”
Furina stirs her tea slowly, her eyebrows furrowed.
“I thought we were past this?”
“Sorry?”
“You seeing me as a God?”
You blink, and Furina takes a sip of her tea.
“You..You are a God though, you’re my God?”
Furina thinks the tea turns sour in her mouth.
“Technically, I suppose so, but I believe us to be friends?” She sets her cup down, and looks at you, her cheeks slightly red. “Am I mistaken?”
You clamour to explain yourself, your arms reaching out as if trying to slow time, ignoring the painful tug of your heart at that stupid word again.
“N-No of course we’re friends!” You stammer, “It’s just…Well I-”
“Then there’s no reason for you to be nervous.”
You nod.
And then something happens.
Something switches.
And suddenly Furina isn’t merely looking at you,
She examining you.
“Unless.” She starts, and you feel a truly dreadful sinking feeling within your chest.
“Unless there’s..Something else bothering you?”
And every facial expression you display is analysed before you, every twitch of your eyebrow, the way your eyes widen and the way you seem to stop breathing.
Furina leans forward, an emotion so humanly desperate flickering across her face.
An emotion she is yet to understand.
Your lips part and you truly do not know what to say.
It’s foolish, to ever consider yourself worthy to share a reciprocated love with your God you remind yourself bitterly.
You’re confused, anguished, disheartened by her referral to you as a friend and yet, you do not know what to say.
So you clear your throat.
And breathe in.
“I do not know what you mean Lady Furina.” You whisper, and it’s wrong, wrong, wrong.
And Lady Furina waits only a sheer second, before she’s leaning back in her chair and raising her head.
Somethings off.
“Then let’s us drink together as friends.”
You could swear then, that Lady Furina looked human.
You would stand trial on the fact that you saw her deflate with disappointment in the most mortal like way. You’d swear an oath.
But then you blink and the Hydro Archon blinks back.
And you’re sure you were mistaken.
—
There’s rumours in Fontaine.
There’s rumours everywhere, this isn’t a new concept to you.
But this is different, this rumour makes your blood freeze in your veins.
You heard it after you walked home from the boutique, a group of local Poisson men whispering under their breath.
“Lady Furina isn’t Fontaine’s Archon.”
You pause, turning your head as subtly as you could, creeping closer as to listen to their words.
You’re not a silent stalker and so they see you immediately.
They glare at you as they leave and you’re left confused as they made their way back to Poisson.
The next you hear of them, they’re dead.
Dissolved in the rising water.
You throw up when you see their faces in the paper, along with the heading “Fontaine’s Archon Fails Her People.”
You have faith.
You have faith.
You have faith.
—
Your faith dies with your Archon on the day of her trial.
You don’t go, you never go to trials.
But you know the happenings as if you were there to witness.
You find yourself running towards the Opera Epiclese, tripping over your own feet when the words “Death Penalty” reach your ears.
It’s silent.
Oh so silent.
And then the rain starts, and the tides grow.
And you can’t make it to the staircase of the Epiclese due to the water filling your lungs.
You’re drowning.
Screaming out bubbles of prayers to an Archon that isn’t yours.
Betrayal wrecks through your body and you’re drowning.
You’re drowning.
You’re drowning.
You’re drowning.
—
Furina cries on her watery throne.
Mourning the loss of her people, her home, her facade.
She thinks of you, briefly, thinks of your face, your clothes, your eyes.
Letting herself smile gently, she allows her tears to wash away her role.
It was nice to play a God.
If only she could save them.
—
.
.
.
.
You’re nervous.
You keep pacing back and fourth, pathetically trying to figure out a way in which you can knock on the door of Furina’s house, and speak with her like humans.
After the flood, you found yourself bed bound, your lips tainted blue and breath engulfing you so vigorously that you coughed until your eyes stung red.
The man who saved you kissed your hand when you woke up, crying out that he thought you wouldn’t make it.
You smile at him and thank him.
“I owe you my life.” You had whispered.
Lady Furina was no longer Fontaines Archon.
Gone into a state like hiding from the public, terrified of their outrage.
The nurse that cared for you, informed you of as much, recounting how the Iudex Neuvillette had saved Fontaine, saved you.
And you cried when she left you, tucked up in a hospital bed, weeping over the unknown.
You can’t face her. You conclude.
Not because you didn’t want to but because you had absolutely no idea how to begin.
Would she still regard you with such kindness despite you knowing everything?
How do you convey how you feel for her, when you truly do not know who she even is?
You heart sinks to your stomach and you walk away, hands dropping to your sides. Forcing yourself to move on, and to let fate guide you as far away from Fontaine as it could lead.
You hear a door open, but don’t make the connection until you hear your name being called from behind.
“Y/N!”
You freeze, glancing over your shoulder timidly, staring towards the very God woman you had grown so fond of.
Staring at you humbly on her doorstep.
“Lady-Miss Furina.” You reply, your hands trembling and voice shaking, turning to face her fully.
Her cheeks were flushed as though she made her way to the door in a hurry, eyes narrowed and yet you could not see a trace of annoyance in the depths of her pupils.
“You-” She starts, breathless as if realising that her action of following you would lead to confrontation for the first time, “I saw you.” She pointed up to her arched windows and your face flushes, mortified.
Of course she had.
You say nothing, trying to think of an excuse, anything to dissipate the tension you feel in your bones.
“…You weren’t going to come in?” She questions, her voice small, unbefitting for a woman who use to bellow to the masses with the unfiltered confidence of a Deity.
And you stare, and stare and stare . Your eyes moving over her face, her attire, the stupid bow on her hat.
You’re utterly speechless, profoundly so.
Unable to say anything of value to the woman in which you swore that you-
Furina sighs, her shoulders dropping, hat slipping forward on her head.
Taking your silence for resentment, she accepts your unfettered anger as atonement for her sins.
“I see.” She mumbles plainly, turning to go back inside her house.
And it’s said with such bitter regret and vile disappointment that you find words spilling from the confines of your lips, desperate to call her back.
“I quit.” You frantically say, voice meek.
And Furina stops so you continue.
“Working for Chiori.” You clarify, taking a step forward.
The sun appears to intrude on your conversation, the early morning light presenting itself from behind the brazen buildings of Fontaine, eager to listen.
It makes her complexion golden, the blue strands of her hair, now short, appearing to glow in its wake.
Furina opens her mouth, then closes it, shaking her head defiantly before he’s facing you again, and you’re so close yet so far.
“I needed a change.” You whisper, and she appears to lean closer to hear you, to read the way the words fall from your lips.
You don’t know why this is the first thing you wish to discuss with Furina.
There’s countless other things you could spew, the mirage of questions you have resting in the back of your throat, the confused, recount of events, yet you chose to say none of it for sake of talking about yourself.
You’re selfish, perhaps cruel, but God you just wanted to talk to her.
Furina looks at you, her eyes wide, the sun catches the blue and draws out the sparkle as she looks at you. You drown.
“I’m…I’m glad.” She whispers, “You hated it there.”
“I did.”
You step towards her, keeping your hands still, resting at your sides limp.
“You-” You start, clearing your voice, terrified to overstep, “I mean- Did you hate being an Archon?”
Furina doesn’t move, her cheeks painted rouge with the mention of her role.
Then slowly, subtly, she nods, once up and once down. You almost miss it.
You smile, your eyes crinkling trying to express your endless empathy through one look.
“Then I’m glad you stepped down.”
And Furina wants to kiss you.
She feels it in her mortal soul, amid the beautifully soft way you voice your smile, the desire to be human with you and to make you hers.
She breathes and you watch.
“I’ll miss your silly clothes.” Furina sighs, and you giggle.
“I still wear my silly clothes.” You bite back, and she shakes her head before moving a finger along the underside of your jaw.
“You’re beautiful.” She says, and you take her role of silence, stunned.
Furina lifts her hand, and places it on your cheek, looking down avoiding your eye. “And so boundlessly fascinating.”
“I can’t quite explain it I just-”
You cut her off when you kiss her.
Breathing in her confession and replacing it with your own.
Two mortal souls intertwined as one on her doorstep.
She responds by pulling you closer, trailing her hand to the back of your head and smiling against your lips.
You’re not a seamstress and she’s not an Archon and yet, in this moment that’s okay.
Everything is okay.
feel free to leave a request!
Masterlist <3
artwork credits
A/N- when i say i have been wanting to write this for MONTHS i mean it- i am just so BOUNDLESSLY sick of wlw fics being fetishised and the lack of like a good wlw comfort fic in any character x reader was bothering me ! so thank u to anyone who gives this a try and reads it ! i appreciate you so so so much !!!
ALSO when i say the reader’s fashion is strange or unflattering I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED with insane 19th century dresses so i made a collection of outfits PSA when i say she (the readers) fashion is questionable I MEAN IT <3 i imagine my lovely little failed seamstress makes her own clothes from time to time bc although she’s not good at her job, she still enjoys being creative
if ur interested i made a post of her outfits here :)
thank u so so so much for reading i love u i love u i love u
#furina#furina x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact#nuevillette x reader#genshin smut#genshin fluff#hurt comfort#hydro archon#wlw post#furina x female reader#AHHH
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Sex for grades (kind of)
was not particularly the smartest girl in school in university. so i had to do what it takes to graduate
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i studied computer science in university. looking back, probably not the best choice for a dumb bitch like me. chose it cuz my friends chose it too. and the bunch of nerds around me were just not it. creeps everywhere.
in my first sem, there was this particular project based mod and i could not understand anything the prof was saying. whats worse was my coding skills were close to non existent and my group mates were all experienced code monkeys.
i could tell my project mates were slowly getting fed up with me. they would assign me tasks that i would take so long to complete they end up just doing it for me. but i do try okayyyyy.
one night i was determined to contribute something. so i stayed late in school to work on one of the tasks assigned to me. i convinced one of my project mates to stay with me. he was the kind of an awkward looking nerd that wears specs. the only woman he ever talked to was probably his mom.
while i was trying to do my task, i would consistently rant out loud about how hard it is and why i keep getting errors. he heard me and came to sit beside me to explain the problems i had.
i leaned in to point at my laptop screen, acting like i was listening and got my boobs caressing his arm intentionally. i know he felt it as he suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. i could see his bulge starting to form. he carried on explaining the issues with my code but i wasnt even listening.
tbh, the plan was never for me to actually finish it. i just dont want to get complained for not contributing :)
"how about i do this and you do this for me?" i stretched out my arm to grab the big bulge in his pants.
he gave me the blank stare.
"come on, you do what youre good at, and i do what im good at. no one suffers"
"errrr"
i got on my knees under the table and started undoing his pants. it was just us there. i pulled out his dick and to my surprise, it was about 5 inches. for a nerd like him, his dick size was surprising.
"stop looking and keep typing"
he immediately looked up and continued working on my task.
I slowly pulled back his forskin to expose the dickhead and my warm saliva drip down on his sensitive virgin dick. he involuntarily moaned and squirmed as i started stroking, coating his dick with my saliva.
"fuck jiaqi, your hands feel amazing!"
"shhhh. less talking, more typing"
I leaned in to lick the head as i continued stoking. he kept moaning and the typing did not stop. without warning, his hands came under the table and forced my mouth into his dick.
"ohh fuck yesss jiaqii. i always imagined you as a naughty dumb slut. jerking off to your pictures when we were first grouped together. never thought it could be real. and now fucking your mouth feels 1000 times better. fuckkkk"
he held my head down for a good 10 seconds while he exposes dirtiest fantasies to me.
"now get up and let me fuck you over the table" he pulled me up by my hair and bent me over bent me over the table. he lifted my skirt and saw that i was not wearing any panties.
"wow seems like this was you end goal since the beginning huh. wanting that pussy filled quickly so you didnt wear panties?"
"nuuu..." he jabbed his dick into me before i could reply and started thrusting in and out.
"fuck you little dumb slut. its okay. i will do your homework for you if you continue being a good little cock sleeve. now call me daddy"
"yes daddyy... fuckkkkkk ughhh"
the thrusting continued as he added a few loud spanks on my ass as if it was not a public place. he was still an inexperienced nerd and just 2mins later he pulled out and shot his ropes on my ass and sat back down on the chair panting.
"heheh how does it feel to lose your virginity?"
"tiring... how was it for you?"
"heheh here is lesson 2. dont ask a girl that."
he was still trying to catch his breath while i started packing my bag.
"now get that task done for me alright? its due tomorrow", i whispered in his ear before leaving.
"yea sure dont worry about it."
I went home and when i arrived home, i got a text containing all the files required to complete the task.
from then on, he helped me do my work for the rest of the sem and i got an A. heheh
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Appreciate yall for reading my sexual recounts. Writing it gets me turned on as well. If you liked it, do give it a like and reblog!
Follow me on twitter at @jiaqi2602 for short snippets and uncensored content.
Till next time!
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Stress
AN: Requested by a lovely lovely anon💕 just a cute little blurb about jj making you feel better when your tired and stressed from work
warnings: smut, cursing, fluff, lots and lots of comfort, bad pickup lines??? 🤔I think that’s it I dunno? Lemme know if I missed anything😘
You got home late from work, you were absolutely tired and exhausted. You walked through the door seeing jj making some food, and he saw how exhausted you looked so he turned the stove off coming over to you.
“Hey babydoll you alright” he says coming to wrap his arms around you while you collapse in his arms “I’m soooo tired and exhausted, works kicking my ass right now” you mumble into his chest
“I made some pizza if your hungry baby, do you need anything like a massage or anything?” JJ asks rubbing your back for you
You think for a moment, while leaning against jj “I do need a shower” you say looking up at him
jj looks down at you smiling “Alright baby let’s get you shower going babydoll”
JJ goes down the hall to the bathroom starting up the shower making sure it was warm for you “Y/N, babydoll your showers ready” he calls out after getting out the body wash and shampoo and conditioner out for you
“Ok! Im coming!” You say heading to the bathroom, once you get in jj comes over kissing your forehead softly “do you want me to help you get in baby” he says smirking. You giggle nodding your head “Yes please Daddy” and jj looks at you wiggling his eyebrows “alright Mommy” he says which causes you to laugh
JJ helps you get undressed and he strips down too, and you both get into the shower. It starts out with slow massages on your back and turns into soft kisses that turns into getting handsy which ends up with you both making passionate love. JJ had you up pressed against the wall holding you up fucking you slow and deep as he worships your gorgeous body. His cock kissing your cervix, as he thrusts in and out. JJ looked into your eyes admiring how beautiful your face looked when you were all fucked out. He felt himself getting closer and you moaned leaning your head back against the cold tile wall feeling yourself near your orgasm. “Come on baby, cum f’me, cum for daddy” he rasps, you moan loudly, feeling yourself fall apart. “Oh fuck I’m cumming, s-shit” you moaned and jj picked up his pace chasing his high, while reaching his hand down to rub your clit, which causes your body to shake and the knot in your belly to release as you cum hard around jj’s cock. JJ kept going rubbing your clit working you through your high, then he starts letting out little whimpers and moans burying his face in your neck picking up the pace of his thrusts. “O-Oh god, I’m-I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna fucking cum” he slams into you three more times, as his body tensed staying still inside of you for a moment
after about a couple minutes jj pulled out, kissing your forehead and holding you close. He turned the shower off getting out wrapping a towel around his waist, then getting one out for you wrapping you up. He carried you into the bedroom helping you get dressed and then he throws on a pair of boxers and sweatpants. “I love you so so much babydoll, and I’m sorry that works stressing you” he says holding you close to him “it’s ok, jayj I’m feeling better now, thank you baby” you say hugging him “anytime baby cakes” he says
After a little bit you both were sitting at the table eating pizza with fries and you and jj were being goofy telling each other funny pickup lines “ok, ok, ok, I got one” he says clearing his throat “are you a parking ticket, cause you got fineeeee written all over you” jj says, which causes you to bust out laughing “that’s the cheesiest pick up line I’ve ever heard!” You laugh, and jj chuckles “alright then you give me one tell me a pick up line, let’s see if you could do any better, huh?” He chuckles “alright ok, here’s mine, are you a beaver, cause damnnnnn” you say trying not to laugh “ok that’s definitely worse that’s way worse than mine!” JJ laughs, you lightly smack him on the shoulder gasping, pretending to be offended “no it’s not it’s way better than yours!” JJ shakes his head “no no no yours is worse” he says kissing your cheek, but you throw a French fry at him “ok wow, that’s real nice” he says laughing “don’t worry I still love you” you say and jj comes over kissing your cheek “you better, or else there’s gonna be consequences babygirl”
Taglist: @kraekat29 @chimindity @nemesyaaa @echo-at-the-pond @echobx @rafeslittleangel
@maybankskiss @th3eternalersi @nemesyaaa
Send me an ask if you want to be added to my tag list!!!!!🚌🪐🏄🏼♂️🚬🏄🏼♀️
#jj maybank#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank x reader#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank smut#jj maybank prompt
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Insane how many TV show characters have incredibly traumatic backstories or go through a shit load of trauma only for the writers to be like “yea and then they became an asshole and ruined all their relationship for no reason whatsoever.” and then they’ll be like “what do you mean that’s so out of character? no it’s not i literally wrote the character.” LIKE YES BITCH and they used to be a GOOD person and friend??? they would do anything for their friends and family??? ANYTHING. they spent eons trying to fit in and they dedicated so much time making sure their family was safe. and now you’re saying that they’re just selfish out of nowhere???
OR EVEN WORSE. when they fucking forgive their abuser for no reason or because their abuser was on drugs or addicted to alcohol. and then they get sober and magically become a better person??? what??? you mean the person who neglected their child??? the person who abused their child??? AND THE SAME CHILD GETS HATED ON FOR BEING RUDE OR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE AND PEOPLE STILL DON’T TRUST THEM OR LIKE THEM EVEN AFTER THEY MADE CONSIDERABLE EFFORTS TO UNLEARN THE HABITS THEY DEVELOPED TO SURVIVE THE ABUSE THEY WENT THROUGH??? IM SO TIRED OF SEEING THIS HAPPEN IN SO MANY TV SHOWS. LIKE IF IT WAS ONCE OR TWICE I WOULD BE ANNOYED BUT ITS FUCKING EVERYWHERE.
Just to be clear I’m not talking about shows that have established characters perpetuating the cycle of abuse from the beginning, or progressively getting worse over time, because while I don’t necessarily like those plot lines, they can make sense when they’re done right. But I fucking hate it when it comes out of nowhere and ruins all the backstory the character had and goes against all their earlier motivations.
And while I don’t particularly like it in TV shows when a character forgives their abuser, I can understand it when the abuser actually realizes the weight of their actions, doesn’t try to excuse them, and makes efforts to do better. But almost all TV shows where the character forgives their abusers ends up with the one who was abused being labeled as a problem child or too much to handle/too difficult and the abuser gets to be forgiven without any real development or apology or effort.
Like there’s so many different examples of this happening - Jamie & James Sr. from Ted Lasso, Jess & Liz from Gilmore Girls, Buck & his parents from 9-1-1, Shawn & Henry from Psych (I said what I said), like half of the entire MCU, and multitude of other characters. Like all of the kids were emotionally neglected and abused (and sometimes physically as well) and then they “acted out” (they insulted people, were maybe a little bitchy, and acted immaturely) and then somehow them acting out and being immature or eccentric becomes a central point of their character, and other characters are often annoyed or upset with this part of the character. But then the adult who yk, abused their fucking child, is viewed sympathetically by the other characters because they “were having such a hard time” and “were really struggling” while they were abusing their child. And now that their kid is all grown up they “don’t want to have a bad relationship” and “only ever wanted what was best for them, they just didn’t know to how give it to them”. LIKE GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK MAN.
How is it the kids fault they were a bit immature or a bit of an asshole after being abused for their whole life but it’s not their abusers fault for abusing them???? like what the fuck??? Like it makes me sick to my stomach when other characters are like “wow it must have been so hard to raise them” when they literally DIDN’T raise them, they fucking abused them. Don’t even get me started on when they give the abused kid an actual parental figure and the abused kid opens up to them about how hard their life was and the parental figure does their best to support the kid only to turn around and encourage the kid to forgive their fucking abuser. Like what are these writers even on????
Anyways fuck forgiveness for the sake of forgiveness. You don’t need to forgive shit just because your abuser had a sad backstory. Womp Womp for them. Addiction doesn’t excuse abuse. Grief doesn’t excuse abuse. Divorce doesn’t excuse abuse. “Wanting what’s best for you” “being raised in a different time” or being “misguided”isn’t an excuse for abuse. Them having abusive parents isn’t an excuse for abuse. There isn’t an excuse for abuse. You don’t need to (and IMO shouldn’t) forgive an abuser just because they’re at a better or more stable point in their life than they were when they abused you or because they suddenly got FOMO and realized they’re gonna die soon and they don’t want a shitty relationship with you. And if they and other people are pressuring you to forgive them, then they clearly don’t realize the weight of their actions or how serious they were.
#child abuse#tw child abuse#abuse tw#ted lasso#911 abc#911 show#911 fandom#gilmore girls#psych#psych tv#mcu#marvel#marvel mcu#evan buck buckley#evan buckley#maddie buckley#jess mariano#shawn spencer#jamie tartt#emotional abuse#media analysis#forgiveness#this is coming from someone who was abused#also i didn’t mention this but also sam and dean winchester to an extent#sam winchester#dean winchester#spn#supernatural
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