#im the most unhappy with her eyes

[wyvernest]

Oh my god I saw your requests were open and I love eveything you write<33

I See many fics where Miguel is the one who is jealous, but what if the tables turned and the reader is the one who is jealous, maybe she’s a civilian and she feels like he’d be better of with a spider person who understands his work better? I’d love to see him feel sad that his love feels that way can you tell I like pain lol

Thank you so so much<33 wishing you all the best for your exam! I’m sure you’ll do amazing!

shameless

pairing: bf!miguel x f!civilian!reader

warnings: jealousy, fluff, suggestiveness, public display of affection

summary: you're worried that miguel might be better off with a spider-person, but he is eager to reassure you (and everyone else) that you're more than enough

a/n:thank you and i hope you like it! im thinking of making a part 2 with balcony sex above nueva york let me know if yall would want it<3

divider by @cafekitsune

You are aware of the so called disadvantages of him being your boyfriend.

He is handsome, no doubt. But that means a lot more than being able to watch him work around the HQ, swinging your legs and wondering how you landed him.

It means having unfamiliar eyes linger over him more than you'd be able to tolerate. Flirty looks and remarks thrown at him like he's magnetic, regardless of everyone knowing he's with you.

Even walking through the glassy hallways and cloud scratching towers of Spider Society is a stab in the heart. 

Noticing all the single spider-women look him up and down, eyelids heavy with the seconds that passed as they unabashedly stared at his physique; his broad back, the bulky arms and toned thighs, at the way the muscles underneath his suit rippled with every heavy step he took, not letting his weight drop lazily on each foot but rather walking with the energetic strength of a man with insane stamina.

You couldn't stop a venomous surge of anxiety mixed with the most sour amount of jealousy from dripping into your nerves as you met their gazes, seeing how beautiful and charismatic they all were.

How agile and gracious they were, swinging by just to blow Miguel a fleeting kiss.

And you certainly couldn't stop wondering if he'd be better off with one of them. One of his kind. One that would be able to swing alongside him, to practise with him, to accompany him.

One that would understand him better than perhaps you ever could.

You know he loves you, or else you wouldn't be together. But the idea that he maybe even once looked at all the women lining up for him and thought they'd be interesting to try is gutting you out.

And he starts noticing it.

Of course.

He isn't oblivious to how you straightened your back or curled your arms around his when another spider woman passed you with flirty looks or remarks. How you'd shut down and become awfully quiet when you two would get home following one of these encounters.

He couldn't bear to see you unhappy. Some of the times he even felt the sharp sting of guilt poking into his heart, knowing that he was the reason others were upsetting you.

More so, your bond.

You are heading towards his lab at HQ, walking beside him, heart pounding intermittently with anxiety and bubbling anger. Eyes darting around you swiftly, like those of a feral feline making sure no other animal is preparing to jump her and snatch her food from her.

Suddenly, two flowy silhouettes shoot mile long webs far up into a tunnel bridge, only to drop down and swing right past you and Miguel. 

Purring out a simultaneous "¡Hola, Miguel! Looking good today!", reaching their hands down to him while boasting perfect balance with their webs tied to their ankles, they disappear into the distanced skyscrapers of Nueva York, with echoing giddy laughters.

Miguel doesn't move his head in their direction, already way too familiar with such interactions, and already too interested in hearing only one particular ¡Hola, Miguel! - yours.

Only your focus isn't on him. Your mind is running wild with how talented they seemed to be, how flexible and enticing. Already imagining him, playfully swinging with them, his force and precision perfectly matching their grace and melodic rhythm.

A dance you could never participate in.

What you also fail to see is the frown on his face as he turns to you, intrigued and finally ready to catch you off guard.

"¿Qué pasó, amor?" (What happened, love?) He leaned into you, dragging you by your arm to stop you behind a glass pillar. 

You're hauled out of your reverie, eyes widening in panic as you think of something less pathetic and embarrassing to say than the truth.

"Hm? Nothing, I just think they're nice to look at." You motion with your head the direction the two women swung in, clarifying. "Everytime you bring me here, it's all so … breathtaking." You internally wince at the excuse, pulling the best poker face you could muster.

He takes a deep breath, annoyed but patient.

"You know you can tell me anything." He assures you, voice low and whispered so as not to embarrass you in front of the spiders passing by. He is aware that the place isn't the most fitting for the conversation, but any other time he'd tried to coax it out of you, you dismissed it with a "It's nothing. I'm just feeling off today."

Truth be told, he had his suspicions. He is by no means unacquainted with the ways of women, and without a single condescending bone in his body when it came to you, he wants you to spit it out so you could talk about it. So he could untangle the knots in your heart, the doubts about him and your relationship.

"I know." You reply shortly, something in you dying to snap out and tell him everything, but instead, you shut it down at the last moment and decided to leave it at that.

"Then why don't you?" He looms over you, unintentionally, but you start to feel utterly cornered. Your heart is drumming out of your chest, and you are more than certain he can at least hear it. His face reveals his disappointment, however hopeful and attentive he wants to seem.

And just like that, your fronts break down.

"I'm - Don't get me wrong," you trail off, not looking him in the eye. You feel his warm breath fan over your forehead, getting dizzy from the sudden proximity. "I love this place. All the work you put into it.." Your eyes meet his for a fleeting second. "But sometimes it reminds me of how different I am.", You pause, waiting for a response. When he doesn't interrupt, you continue, "How I don't fit in,... here, beside you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He looks almost pissed, as if you had told him he doesn't fit in. As if he was the one that didn't fit you.

"I mean I'm not … them. I'm not a spider."

"I'm aware of that." he retorts, ironically. "When did that stop me from loving you?". His tone is scolding. He is trying to maintain an unaffected demeanor so you would keep talking, but inside, his heart cracks at your words.

Your face heats up, surprised.

"It's not that." You have to actively stop yourself from leaning into his body and hiding into the warmth of his embrace, so that maybe all the jealousy and worry will wash away. But he deserves an explanation, now that you've admitted your feelings. "They know a side of you that I can only imagine. How it feels to be…like you."

His face softens, full of love and pity.

"I'm the odd one out here." You spit out, frustrated with his silence. "I can't give you everything they can!"

"I don't want what they have." He answers quickly, sincerely. You find it hard to believe, even though he's never lied to you.

To you, he's perfect. He deserves everything. Everything he could get.

And you're not enough.

"Escúchame." (Listen to me) He leans closer into you, his breath hot on your face. "Estoy enamorado de ti." (I'm in love with you.) "I only need you to be happy." 

You finally meet his gaze, full of consideration and fondness. You pray to whatever god hears you that he means it, because you're too far gone in your love for him to go back now.

"What will it take for you to just relax and stop being jealous, hm?" He whispers, smugly and amused. It's clear that he's flattered with your sentiments and possessiveness, but wants to nonetheless fix your issues.

You feel yourself getting immersed into the scent of him, his body heat radiating onto yours. You don't quite know the answer yourself. He grabs your waist right above your hips, sending shivers up your spine. Pulling you closer to him, he moves his head to your ear.

"What if I kissed you right here, right now? Let everyone know that I love you, and only you."

Miguel was very clearly overjoyed with the excuse to show you some public affection, especially if it meant having you so flustered and pliant beneath him.

"Would that make you feel better? Knowing they'll be the jealous ones now?"

You nod, more or less consciously, lifting yourself up on your tiptoes almost reflexively.

His warm and eager hands on your waist strengthen their grip, lifting you further up against his body as your feet lose contact with the ground, your chest meeting his. His lips are soft and tender against yours, dancing in a slow, passionate kiss. With your eyes still closed, you hear a few gasps near you in the hall; some happily amused, some offended.

But you don't care. All you care about right now is how he's tilting your head to the side with one of his palms at the back of your neck, slipping his tongue into your mouth and deepening the kiss. 

You continue to make out without a care in the world, just for the whole Spider Society to receive a much needed reminder that Miguel O'Hara is taken. 

His hands knead the supple flesh of your lower back, making your hum softly into his mouth, your own arms curling around his neck in a vicious hold.

When you least expect it, you feel one hand descend swiftly, leaving you no time to react as he grabs at your ass hard, so hard you jolt up against him, eyes snapping open in shock.

Without moving his hand, he presses his nose to your pulse point, exhales sultry on the sensitive skin.

"I have another idea."

[demiesworld]

"I AIN'T WITH THE MESSY SHITS, BUT I NEED SOME SLOPPY TOP"

☆ pairings: toji fushiguro x black!chubby!femreader

☆ synopsis: basically toji eating the pussy real sloppy. yes i got the title from glorilla's "lick or sum" and???

☆ contents: nsfw, oral (f. receiving), pussyeater!toji, pleasuredom!toji, daddy kink, dirty talking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, use of toys (clit vibrator; toys are our friends), pussy slapping, slight dacryphilia (if you squint), just the usual filth

☆ notes: reader is a female and she is black. she is described as being chubby but her weight is not numerically indicated. reader's pronouns are she/her. i wrote this for my big girls bc we need the content (yes im a fluffy mami in rl). i put my pussy into this and im not sorry for the mess i made.

Before you met Toji, you had never met a man that would willingly, and most of the time without asking, eat your pussy out before. Your previous exes didn't eat your pussy out when you asked, or they didn't satisfy you enough to lead you into a mind-boggling orgasm. They left you feeling dry, unhappy, and unsatisfied. It was a blessing and a curse for you to end up with a man like Toji. Someone who didn't take "no" for an answer, someone who will deal with your bratty attitude and fix that shit with his dick in your pussy, and who ate your pussy simply for his own pleasure.

"OHH FUUUCK!"

You were on the bed, laying on your back with your legs pressed against your chest. Toji was laying on his stomach and his face was in between your thighs, his mouth slurping on your clit while his fingers were driving into your cunt. The slickness of your juices were wetting up his fingers and making a mess on the bedsheets. He didn't bother to put a towel underneath you because in his words, "The way you squirt, that shit will just go through the towel anyways," so he didn't do it.

Toji had been eating at your pussy for who knows how long. He had already made you succumb to three orgasms by using only his fingers. This man was putting your body through the wringer. His tongue never faltered in flicking at your hardened clit. Those long, thick fingers of his were fucking into your pussy and making the most obscene, wet noises in the room. Accompanied by those squelches were your shrill, whiny, high-pitched moans. Your back arching up from the bed and toes curling when Toji would suck and nibble at your sensitive nub.

"Tojitojitojitoji!" You babbled on his name, and jerked your hips down towards his fingers. A trail of saliva was coming out of the corner of your mouth as you squirmed about trying to bring yourself to another climax. "Fuck, fuck, I'm g'na cum again! Oh fuck! Fuck!"

Your walls tightened around his fingers and another stream of your juices came squirting out right onto his face. Your man smirked while he pulled his mouth away from your clit and pulled his three fingers in your pussy out. Toji lapped up the wetness you had just made before pulling his mouth away and kissing fervently at your puffy folds.

You jolt from his lips, hips twitching, legs trembling and let out a whine, "Tooojiii, d-daddy, n-no more, I-I can't!" You had tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. Fat, warm tears that fell down your cheeks as you laid there on the bed. "I can't take iiit!! Too much, too much!"

He reaches out a hand to your cheek and wipes away a tear. "Ssh, ssh, baby girl you can take it. You always take it don't you? Hm?" His gruff voice was soft when he was speaking to you. When you were like this, a dumbed down mess from back-to-back stimulation, he knew he had to console you gently. You look at him, nose scrunched up and plump lips pouting. "You can take it baby girl. I know you can,"

Toji sits up from his position and kneels on the bed crawling above you. You were starting to think that your man was going to fuck you, but what he did next surprised yet scared you. He reached underneath the pillow you had your head on and grabbed the hot pink toy wand you had. Your eyes went wide as you stared at the toy then look back at your man. "D-Daddy p-please!! Please daddy!"

Your mind already knew that once Toji brought out the toy wand it was game over for you. He knew how to angle the vibrator just right for you to squirt all over him. Your hands flew to around his broad shoulders and shaky thick thighs wrapped around his small waist in an attempt to keep him from going back down on you.

"P-please daddy, y-you don't have to do that," you begged of him, and squeezed your legs tighter. You bring him down for a kiss to your lips, not knowing that Toji had already turned the vibrator on with a press of the button and was guiding it towards your clit. In between the messy kisses you were stammering, "S-See daddy? C-Can you juss- TOJIIIII FUCK OH MY GOD!" You were interrupted by him pressing the vibrator to your clit.

Toji circles the toy around your sensitive nub and his tongue licks at your cheek. He tastes the dried tears from earlier on your soft brown skin. He glances down at where the toy is rubbing at your clit then looks at the fucked out expression on your face. He smirks cockily at you. "I want you to give me a couple more before the end of the night baby girl." His scarred lip presses a firm kiss to your round cheek. "Then I'll stop."

You shake your head and claw your manicured nails into his shoulders. "Mm! Mm! Mm! C-cumming! Cumming!" You warn him, feeling your stomach tighten, your eyes rolling back when you cum again on the bedsheets. There's practically a puddle of just your bodily fluids soaking the blankets. The room stinks of the scent of musk and sweat, but it doesn't deter either of you from stopping.

"Yeeeeah that's it. That's how daddy fucking likes it." He growls, and places the wand to the side. His hand grabs your chin, turning your face to him and he kisses you roughly. You try your best to respond to the kiss, but your body is tired and your mind has turned into mush after climaxing for the sixth (?) time. Toji doesn't care as he sucks on your limp tongue after gnawing at your bottom lip with his canines.

Slap!

Slap!

Slap!

Soft, weak moans left from you when Toji was slapping his hand on your pussy. His fingers stroked your folds gently followed by another slap. You unwrap your legs from around him and let your arms flop to your sides. Your body no longer touching him as you become pliable for him.

"That's my fucking girl, my good fucking girl." He hooks his thumb on the corner of your mouth and stretches your cheek. "Open your mouth up for daddy." You part your lips and stick out your tongue, Toji laughs at this before he spits onto your tongue. With narrowed eyes he watches you swallow it then he returns to going back in between your thighs.

His lips kiss on your inner thighs, teeth bite down on your brown skin and leaving bite marks there. Murmurs of, "so fucking good for me", "going to make this pretty pussy cream some more", could be heard from the man between your thighs. Toji kissed and licked on your thighs some more until he got to your pussy. He reached over and grabbed the toy wand, turning it back on then holds it against your puffy clit. Your man had it pressed right against the nerve of your clit while his tongue was delving into your entrance.

You squirm shakingly on the bed, but you once again chase that one high that Toji is trying to give you. In contrast to your body wanting more your words say something different. You whine, "No more daddyyyy!!"

Toji ignores your cries while he uses a hand to keep your plush thigh spread open. He stops eating you out to say, "One more then I'll stop baby girl," He lifts the wand away from your clit to suckle on it. "Come on, baby, come on." He mumbles onto your nub.

He encourages you to cum for him one last time, and by the grace of whoever you did. Your wrecked out body, unable to release any more of your juices due to the constant stimulation, just writhed and clenched as you came for him. A lewd "pop" emitted from Toji when he plucks your clit out of his mouth. He kneels on the bed before you, rubbing his hands on your fleshy thighs and stroking the bruised skin that he caused.

"You did so good baby girl, so fucking good, I'm so proud of you baby." He leans down to peck your lips. When you start to whine and whimper from coming down he whispers, "It's okay baby, I'm here baby, look at daddy," He cups your face in his hands, directing your attention to his green eyes. "Look at me. I'm going to run you a bath okay baby?" You nodded your head and he continued, "You want me to carry you or can you walk?"

Again you shake your head and whine, Toji took this as a "no I can't walk" and he went on to pick you up from the bed with ease. He carried you with his hands underneath your thighs into the bathroom, gently sitting you down on the toilet seat before he went to the bathtub and ran the water. Your man returned back to you, since you were already naked he wrapped your hair up in a shower cap and used a damp towel to clean up any messes on your body.

"Mm, T-Toji... I... good?" You quietly ask him.

His eyes look up to your tired expression, and he smiles approvingly at you. "Yes baby girl you did good for me. You always do."

★ letter from demie: FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK. it don't make no sense why this can't happen to mee!!!! fuck i hate this!!! anyways!!! tell me what you think of this smut! i think i just let the faucet run on this one!!

[ktaerssoi]

just keep swimming

nika mühl x swimteam!reader

summary: being a swimmer for UConn isn't always easy.

notes: i did NOT mean to make this so angsty, i was literally thinking about something cute while i was writing so idk where this came form. please don't kill me! - kate

(1.7k)

it was hard being on the UConn swim team, not only were the practices grueling, but the meets took hours and hours. this wouldn't be a problem to most, because if you love your sport you would give up almost anything.

and you did love your sport, but you loved your girlfriend even more. which is what made swim meets so difficult. most of the time, it would be from eight a.m. to four p.m.. and it just so happened that nika's game schedule was also within those hours. meaning she usually had a game while you were at your meet, making it hard for you to attend her games.

not to mention she was missing your meets, which wouldn't bother you normally but when it's been happening all season long it sort of gets to you. what if she wasn't coming because she doesn't think it's important?

you knew she had time in the mornings, time that she usually worked out during, but why couldn't she make an exception to see you? you were stressed out, to say the least.

you finally reached your breaking point the night before one of your most important meets against Georgetown.

-

you and nika were curled up together in bed, watching a movie on your laptop. her hands were on your hips, and she slowly started to travel to your back, massaging different parts as you groaned lightly.

"tense for the meet tomorrow? you'll do great baby," she muttered into your ear as she stopped her movements, causing you to turn and face her, the lack of physical contact making you cold.

"you would know if you came to one," you didn't mean for it to come out so harshly, and you watched as her face quickly contorted to one of hurt. "oh im sorry, should i call off my game?" you knew you had hurt her feelings, but she didn't have to come back like that.

"nika you know that's not what i meant." you watch as she sits up a little, biting the inside of her cheek as she crosses her arms over her chest. "okay then, what did you mean? you know i want to go to your little events, i just don't have time."

you roll your eyes at the use of "little events," you knew she didn't value your sport as much as hers, but it still hurt. "little event? that's what i meant, you don't value my things as much as your own! you and i both know that you could make it to the morning part of the meet and keep me company but you just work out with KK!"

you didn't mean to let out your feelings like that, you knew you wanted to talk to her but you hadn't meant to yell. "i'm sorry okay? i don't know what more i can give you." nika wasn't breaking eye contact with you, she wanted to see your complete reaction to her words. it was not a good reaction.

"you're sorry? tell me what you're sorry for. i doubt you could." it's your turn to cross your arms as you stare up at her, her face never showing what she was thinking.

"i'm sorry your silly little pool tricks aren't as important to me as warming up. i'm sorry i have priorities." to say you were unhappy was an understatement. you close the computer that had been playing the movie up until that point, not even knowing how to react to that.

she thought your sport was "silly little pool tricks?" you took a deep breath, nodding. "okay, well then, you can leave then." you weren't slow to notice the scared look on her face. she knew she had messed up, she also knew there may not be a way to come back from this.

"no, c'mon baby, you know it wasn't meant to come out like that. i just, i have other things to be thinking about." you stand up, still heading to the door, opening it for her. "okay, then go think about them. somewhere else."

you weren't thinking, just letting out everything you had been feeling for months. you watched as she nodded, grabbing a few things before walking out of the room and right out the front door. you didn't cry until she left. she thought that little of you?

a few hours later, you got a call from paige.

"hello?" you answered the phone confused, paige never called you. "hey, um i heard about what happened, i wanted to make sure you're okay, nika is all sorts of mixed up." she seemed sincere, which led you to talk to her for almost two hours about the situation. you had felt bad taking up so much of her time.

"it's just, i don't get it, i mean i cheer her on in everything she does. this is the one thing i am the most passionate about, and she barely cares! i just feel shitty, like im less important to her." you had shed a couple of tears in the time you had been on the phone, not knowing who else to talk to.

"mhm, well, i think you should give it some time. don't go reaching back to her, let her come to you. let her know what she's missing." you nod, her words causing you to come up with a plan.

-

UConn won the meet over Georgetown the following day, causing you to go out to dinner with some of your closer teammates. durning your meal you got two messages.

paige 🏀: good job at the meet today! i wish i had time to stop by and watch

nika 😚: hey, can we talk, please? today was really hard and i miss you.

you replied to one message, thanking paige, and letting her know you appreciated her reaching out. you would text nika back later.

you didn't.

instead, you got one too many drinks at dinner and ended up calling paige. you didn't do anything too wild, just, you know, told her everything you had been feeling about nika for the second time. which, wouldn't be an issue had you let her talk when she first picked up. but, because someone is praying on your downfall, you hadn't been made aware that paige was currently with nika.

and nika heard you.

not that big of a deal.

-

it had been almost a week since your horrible phone call with paige. it was friday night, you were trying to wind down for the night, choosing to watch a random movie.

you had done everything to prepare for your swim meet the following morning, it wouldn't be particularly hard, the team not having the best stats by any means.

you fell asleep early that night, missing a text from paige.

"see you at the meet tomorrow morning, bright and early!"

-

you wake up the next morning by putting your phone directly on do not disturb, not bothering to check any messages. you needed to be in the right head space.

you arrived at the pool at 7, getting your events and warming up. your first event was at 8:15, 200 butterfly, it would be easy.

standing on the block, you look up to see paige and nika.

holy fuck. 

the whistle blew almost directly after, and you had a delayed start, causing you to start behind. the whole way back and forth you were thinking about paige and nika.

there was no way you had just seen them, they had a game later, they should be practicing? your thoughts had clouded your mind, and you were lagging behind on the last lap. you caught up quickly, barely pulling through in the last few seconds.

getting out of the water in a huff, you walk over to your teammates, taking off your cap and goggles. as you chat with one of your closer friends you see them again. no way it wasn't them.

you quickly excused yourself to go talk to them.

"paige?" she turns around with a smile on her face, nika not far behind. "hey! we decided to stop by and see what all the hype was about," you nod, looking to see nika holding what looked to be a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

"hype is a reach, but thanks. um, so you watched that?" you flustered thinking about nika watching you struggle so much in a simple 200. "yeah, you were really good, and like super fast. i had no idea it was so complicated, i think you swim faster than i run." you looked as nika stunned, you hadn't thought you did good, but to her it was amazing.

"really? that was like, my slowest time ever, i sucked." you laugh a little, noticing paige slowly slip away to find people she could befriend. "seriously?" you nodded, smiling at her shocked face.

"listen, im sorry about what i said, i was embarrassingly uneducated on this, seriously i thought you just did a little free stroke and left. oh! and here, these are um, for you." you watched as she held up the flowers, taking them with a smile on your face.

"thanks babe, they're beautiful." you take them from her, smirking as you see her cheeks flush. "um, i have another event in like twenty minutes, but if you want to come with me to put these in my locker you can." you guys chat the whole time up until your event, and then the whole time after.

"oh my gosh, what time is your game? and where the hell did paige go?" you grab her wrist as you get on your tippy toes to look around, causing her to laugh. "our game isn't for another two hours, we'll be fine, thought we should get going soon."

you nod, upset that she couldn't stay for the whole day, but understanding that she stayed as long as possible. she found paige a few minutes later, mingling with some other girls on the team. you rolled your eyes as you heard her complain about being in the middle of a conversation, smiling to yourself.

"okay, ill see you guys later. oh and hey, text me when you're done with the game, we can get dinner." you smile, kissing nika on the cheek and hugging paige goodbye as you watch them leave.

you guys would definitely be having a talk at dinner.

[tan1shere]

Slumber Party

Ellie williams x fem reader!

A/n: Hello my lovelies, first post on here (more active on wattpad) but thought I'd occasionally post here when I'm bored. If you have any requests at all they're definitely open! Also this is kinda short but I don't plan on making the next part as short. Enjoyyyy ☆°•

My masterlist

Summary: like the song slumber party. Ellie thinks she can treat you better then your shitty girlfriend

Warnings: smut, (not in this chapter) read at your own risk (mdni) Dom but soft, protective, ellie! Reader is quite innocent, is very soft also. Cunnilingus (duh- also not in this chapter) your girlfriend in this is an asshole. Abuse, somewhat angst, crying. Lmk if there was anything else!

Pt 2 here! ~ pt 3 here!

Ellie hated Isabel, your girlfriend. She treated you horribly, and Ellie really hated when you'd bawl your eyes out over the phone to her whenever Isabel would storm out of your shared apartment. She hated the fact anyone would make you cry. She never liked seeing you unhappy. Isabel shared this hatred. She never liked you hanging around Ellie, even if you have known Ellie almost all your life. She would scold you after everytime you and her would hang out. You'd come back to the apartment smiling. "What're you smiling about?" You just smile more happy to tell. "Ellie she makes the funniest jo-" "I don't like you being round her Y/n." You would always stare blankly at her, struggling to find the words, leaving your mouth open while you ponder.

Today was not off to a great start. Ellie had just been over, you two were having such a great time. "I should probably get going squirt." She would flash her smile at you, ruffling your hair slightly, as she stood to go to the door. Ellie was a bit older then you, and come to think of it so was Isabel. Let's just say you had a thing for older ladies. (Only by like 6 years) You also stand up, seeing her out and saying goodbye. But as you open the door you're met woth those dark brown eyes. Isabel had just arrived back from work. She glares at the auburn haired girl, making her way inside. "Well hi to you too." Ellie scoffs then looks at you. "Text you when im home." You give her a small nod and a smile before she leaves to her car. You turn around to be faced with a stern Isabel. "You know how I feel about her being in our home. Especially when I'm not here." You never really talk back to Isabel you always apologize and go into the kitchen to make food. She was truly a bitch and she started showing her true colors the moment you two moved in together. You never understood what you would do so wrong. You made every dinner. Every lil food she'd want. The laundry. Just to please her. And although it'd work, it'd never last. "I'm sorry Iz.. She just really wanted to show me this art she was working on and in person. Nothing more I swear." She let's out a scoff. "Why should I believe you it's almost every day you spend with her. It's sickening and pathetic." You stare at her as she says that. She would always make you feel stupid. When in fact you were quite smart you knew what most things meant. Maybe not so much bedroom stuff. But you were book smart nonetheless. Speaking of bedroom. You were basically a virgin. You've kissed Isabel many times done a lil something here and there but it was definitely not much. So you were certainly not confident on that subject. Although Ellie would tell you all sorts of stories about the girls she's been with. It fascinated you to learn all these new terms and what everything was. "I promise to talk to you before hand next time-" She instantly cuts you off. "Why are you still standing here. Cook, I've been working all day." She spits going to your guys shared bedroom. You sigh doing so. And that was your life.

It was maybe a couple weeks after, you had felt like you were coming down with something so you decided that bed rest was the best thing. It was now 3 in the afternoon. You were sleeping in your bed when the door busted open. "What the fuck are you still doing in bed it's almost 4!" Isabel was home and not happy. You sit up a bit. "Yes I know I'm sorry bu-" She drops her bags. "This place is a mess, there's dishes out. Foods not even ready. Laundry is still in the hamper. What fucking else." You look at her softening your look. "Iz, I'm sorry- I woke up feeling horrid so I decided to stay in bed." She shakes her head. "Even when I have the worst headache known to man I still get my ass up and work. You know all that sweet money, I work for that. And you work here that is your job." This was one of the moments were you'd feel bad for yourself. Weak. Weaker right now considering you're sick. You look down at the sheets. "Are you even listening to me? You spoiled brat." She doesn't do what she does next often but when she does you know you're in the shit. She hits you. Hard. "Wonder why I have a headache all the time. It's you and your whiney voice. Look at how pathetic you are." She glares down at your drowsy figure. You feel tears finally sting as you had held them in. Refusing to let yourself be so weak, but you give in. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions right now. "What the fuck are you gunna be like when I go away in a few weeks huh? You better keep this place spotless you know about the cameras. I'll be watching you." Yes. The oh so lovely cameras. They're only in the kitchen, living room and laundry. The only places you slave away at. "I will iz I promise." She hums. "I'll believe it when i see it. I needa go out and grab some stuff. Make sure dinners ready when I get back." She says before getting her keys and leaving. You then sob. Letting it all out as you shakily grab your phone going to the only person who knows how to comfort you. Ellie.

When she arrives not long after, giving a honk. You go outside and get in the passenger seat. "Off anywhere?" You shake your head. "No that's alright. I don't want to get yelled at.." Ellie sighs. "Bub, you can't keep letting her treat you like this-" "if I left I'd have nowhere to go Els.." She keeps looking at you. "Yes you do. Mine." You let out a small breath looking down at your hands. "Everythings so messy." She nods, even if you can't see. "I know angel but my offer still and will forever stand. I think you should take it." You just wipe the small tears forming at your eyes. "How was your day?" She hates how you change the subject. She always has. She wants to talk about it with you more. Comfort you more. "Pretty easy going. Do you want a hug love?" You shake your head. "Its best if you don't come near me right now-" "I promise it's not gunna affect me if you cry. You know that." You nod. "I know, but I'm sick- thats why she yelled at me.." She furrows her brows. "She got mad at you because you weren't feeling well? What a fucking bitch." You sigh, in the midst of a slight cough. "Angel you should go back in and rest. Let me help-" You immediately shake your head. "She'd know you were there. I- I couldn't risk that." You always felt awful. Not because you got yelled at but because she would want to pick a fight with Ellie too. Ellie was older then Iz too, more mature. Never bought into her crap. "I'll make sure she doesn't yell at you, you really need rest you work your ass off-" You stop her talking. "I don't want her to try anything with you Els." She shakes her head. "She won't. I promise just let me make you some soup and tuck you in. Please, just that." You contemplate whether or not you should but you nod regardless.

She was making the soup trying to be as speedy in hopes she wouldn't bump into Isabel. "Here you go. Say you made it for yourself. I also cleaned a lil." She sends you a wink. And when she says a lil she means the whole lot. "Els, you seriously didn't have to." She smiles gently. "No but I wanted to. I also made something else. Knowing grump would be hungry when she gets back." You look at her so thankful. "You have no idea how much I appreciate you." She gives you a kiss on the head. "Call if you need anything else. I love you." She says while looking in your eyes. "I love you too Els." You respond sweetly. Oh how stupid you were to realize how INlove she was with you. But she plans to show you sooner or later. As she's the one you should truly, be with.

[itsmarsss]

Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 1 - The Prince

How the mighty do fall.

(Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn’t exactly considered classy, Stolas.)

pt. 2 | pt. 3 | pt. 4 | pt. 5 | 1st bonus | pt. 6 | pt. 7 | pt. 8

Word count: 1,520

Warnings: I mean. depression. arranged marriage. this part doesn’t contain actual sex only mentions of it but others might idk, me taking myself way too seriously writing this, this has no dialogue but don’t give up on me im actually a pretty dialogue heavy person but this only works if this chapter has no dialogue

If you ever asked Stolas, he’d say he was never one to cause a scene.

If you asked anyone else, they’d say he’s lying.

Stolas had always been fond of a little drama and drawn to a bit of flair, akin to exaggeration and grandeur like no other. Be it in the way he speaks, acts or reacts to hell around him, be it how he expresses his emotions or his thoughts and even his feelings towards others.

Emotions, thoughts, feelings. Stolas was always full of those, ever since he was an ugly, pink, featherless little project of a bird. They have been all-consuming ever since he can remember. And he remembers.

Stolas can recall the confusion in his father’s voice whenever he cried as a kid, as if the action was strange and foreign, unfit for a demon like him.

And perhaps it was.

Stolas remembered many things, and yet he could not recall a single time he had seen his father cry- or show any sort of weakness, for the matter. Paimon was always stern and centered, and Stolas is sure the only thing close to weakness he’s ever expressed was his inability to be more than his status- to be an actual father. He doubted his father would consider that a weakness. What was fatherhood next to being royal, anyways, right?

It was disconcerting to grow up certain that, between his father and all of his brothers, he was, without a doubt, the weakest. After all, how could he not be? He was scared, of a many things, most of the time. He felt things too deeply in his heart and he worried too much and too often about too many things. He was aware of all of that.

But, as he grew up, Stolas decided he was fine with it, if he meant he got to genuinely feel things. Because Octavia had come to exist, and he could never in his heart find the willpower to act as cold to her as his own father did to him.

Yes, he decided he was fine with being weak, if that’s what being able to love unconditionally took. He was fine with being weak, if that’s what being loved took.

He may not have loved his father, or even liked him, for the matter. But he promised to himself he’d do anything it took for Octavia to love him.

And how it filled him with pure and utter joy to feel loved for the first time in his life.

He may not have loved Stella, either, but their union had brought him his daughter, and nothing in the entirety of the universe mattered more to him than her. And so he was grateful for their arrangement, after all, despite the bitterness of it all.

With Octavia’s teenage years came the flood, though. Stolas cried himself to sleep almost every single night for years to come as he was reminded of the fact that being grateful for what his marriage brought him was not enough to make him happy to be in the situation in which he found himself, unable to exist as he was inside of his own home without fearing the judgement of a wife who loved him just as much as he loved her - not even a tiny little bit- and unable to shield his daughter from the unhappy family he’d once feared she would have to endure.

Stella was never someone Stolas particularly liked. In fact, he quite disliked her, from the moment he laid eyes on her as his father told him they were betrothed to one another, at much too young of an age.

At first, it surely was purely the hatred for the fact that his fate was tied to her and there was nothing he could do to escape, and the sense of impending doom that came with every year that passed as he knew he grew closer to approaching the day there would be turning back, and watched the time pass as an expectator of his own life, as there was nothing he could really do but comply.

Royal life had its renounces.

When the day came for their marriage to be sealed, the moment finally materializing itself as real instead of bad news he’d try to push away and avoid dwelling into for too long, Stolas promised himself he’d try to get over those feelings and make an effort to know her better. If they would be tied to one another from this moment on, he could at least try to make it all not so miserable.

It was a task set to fail.

When Octavia was conceived, Stolas felt nothing but relief. After all, this entire situation was based purely on business, all-dependent on the birth of an heir. Which meant, in some way, they were a bit more free than before. However much that can be in the situation they found themselves in.

Relief came first, dread came second. At only 19 years old, what did Stolas know of parenting anyway? Logically, he knew this would be happening. Logically, he’d known that for almost a full decade. Logically, that should have been enough for him to be prepared.

But he felt anything but prepared. How was he, who felt lost at all times, who cried at the slightest things, who didn’t ask for all of this, supposed to be a father? What twisted parameters did he have, considering his own?

He only hoped time would ease those feelings.

Throughout the years, he learned those feelings never do leave you, and that parenthood is forever a state of worry. You never truly feel ready- there’s just not much more that you can do than try your best.

To be loved by Octavia was enough. Or… at least it should be, shouldn’t it? Was it selfish, or perhaps even inconsiderate, unfair to her that at times he found himself longing to be loved by someone who’s existence wasn’t bound to him? Wishing to know if someone would ever care not because they were betrothed to him and not because they were his own blood, but simply because they liked who he was? Enjoyed his company? Felt genuine attraction towards him?

When thoughts of the sorts consumed him it was to not punish himself mentally for thinking such frivolous things, for having such superficial wishes. But it wasn’t hard to figure out where it all stemmed from. After all, when the only partner you ever have ever had in your entire life hadn’t any say in choosing you, it’s only natural to wonder what it would be like to be with someone who did choose him.

When you’ve had no say in choosing the only partner you’ve ever had in your life, in turn, it’s only ever natural, too, to wonder what it would be like with someone you would have chosen to be with. Someone who excited you, who made you feel things. Stolas didn’t even know what exactly those things were supposed to be, but longed to feel them nonetheless.

The day Blitzo, someone he hadn’t heard of in decades, was caught trying to sneak into his palace, during the most depressing party ever thrown in all seven reals, Stolas felt excitement for the first time in a long while. It’s almost like his brain had a reaction before he even processed it. Like it was stuck repeating the same thing over and over and over: Friend. Friend. Friend.

Sure, Blitzo wasn’t his friend. They hadn’t been friends for, once again, literal decades. In fact, they had only ever been friends for about a day.

But Blitzo was his first ever friend. And you don’t just forget that. He never would, at least.

And that night they spent together, something in Stolas changed. That night, he felt wanted. For the first time in his life, he felt desired. For the first time in his life, sex wasn’t just business. It wasn’t just an obligation or a means to an end. For the first time in his life, sex was fun.

He knew it was supposed to be fun. He knew it was fun for most people. He had just stopped hoping it would ever be fun for him.

And, sure, he also knew what they did was wrong. But he couldn’t get himself to care as much as he probably should have, because, truth be told, Stella could pretend to have been hurt by it however much she wanted, but they both knew she never really was.

“That was the sound of a fucking divorce!”

A couple hours later, sitting on his bed in shock, he could still barely believe he had really just done what he did- what they should have done so long ago- and Stolas just started laughing to himself. The more he laughed, the harder it was to stop. He knew he just had to look like a maniac like that, but couldn’t possibly get himself to care, because, for only a split second did the thought of not being supposed to let his servants see him in that state pass through his mind, but it only made him laugh harder.

He’d just announced his divorce to the wife he’d been set to marry since birth, can’t be much more scandalous than that.

A/N: would you believe me if i said this started as an idea for what was supposed to be only a funny silly little oneshot with dick jokes and public embarrassment?

Requests for Blitzø and Blitzø x Stolas are open! I’m also SO hyperfixated on this show rn so if y’all wanna chat abt hcs or this series be my guest I’d be happy to talk and i don’t bite unless asked nicely luv y’all <3

[genderkoolaid]

something ive noticed as a very effeminate trans masc that dresses pretty androgynous & has been on hrt for many years is that the status of being a "dangerous man" can and will be placed on you (ime most often by cis white women) whenever expressing any kind of negative feelings. if i told friends of mine - even queer ones - that something they did hurt my feelings or made me upset, i was suddenly a dangerous man or a (man)ipulator or whatever - even if i didn't raise my voice. the very fact that i am unhappy combined with my proximity to manhood makes me a supposed threat in their eyes.

a couple years ago i had a group of cis girl friends. they would constantly pull me into women's bathrooms n such so i wouldn't be left behind saying its fine its fine bc im one of the girls (gender neutral) but then as soon as i was upset about something i was suddenly a dangerous man who needed to stay out of women's spaces,,,, despite the fact that of the 4 of us, the girl who joined after me was the one spreading this shit around my friend group so... how was i encroaching on womens spaces if i was there before her and i was invited in? luckily one of my friends told me that the other two were plotting to kick me out of my friend group on the sole basis of my proximity to manhood so i at least knew why they were suddenly treating me like shit

its just.. i cant understand why people dont think trans mascs and trans men are discriminated against when they literally said it was my "toxic man energy" that made them want me out WHILE ALSO being the ones convincing me to go into womens spaces bc they wanted to go somewhere and didnt wanna have to leave me behind & like i said im extremely effeminate and faggy and also NONBINARY so i dont understand what "man energy" they were talking about other than the fact that im on testosterone and thinking testosterone = man is just transphobic no matter how you try to twist it

but my taking testosterone was never a problem or made me evil or scary when they wanted me to go with them into women-only (&nonbinary too i guess unless youre amab (and they can tell) or been on testosterone for too long) spaces, it was only a problem when they wanted 1. a reason to criticise me relentlessly, borderline bullying or 2. a reason to dismiss any of my concerns or criticisms of their treatment of me

all of that, to me, is transandrophobia point blank. i dont know what else you could call it other than transphobia, but transphobia doesn't address any of the very blatant and obvious connection of how my transness affects their perception of my proximity to manhood and how that affected the situation

God that sucks. I'm sorry you went through that.

You make a very good point. This is why I don't want to define transandrophobia/ATM as just transphobia and misogyny directed at transmascs. I still think transunity theory is a really valuable way of looking at transphobia & its important to me that we are vocal about how masculine tropes are weaponized against trans people by cis people on the regular because of how we are positioned in relation to gender. Too many people think the that the only thing wrong with saying trans people have "dangerous male energy" is that its misgendering. So trans people who choose to associate themselves with manhood are left in the trash by the people who should know best how much being made out to be a Dangerous Male Invader hurts!

[delusionalmultifandomwriter]

Photosynthesis (fluff)

Luke Castellan x gn!demeter!reader fluff

Prompt: It's spring clean at Camp Halfblood and Luke wants to bath in sun with you

I feel like i haven't posted in forever because i was busy grinding Stardew Valley. But im back so enjoy!!

Spring at Camp Halfblood was always an event. It was time for a deep clean of all cabins and the big house, sweeping the arena and taking care of all the minor things before the majority of the campers arrived for the summer.

As the counselor of the Demeter cabin it was your job to supervise the campers that took care off the strawberry fields. They had to be in top shape before the next season.

Today was one of the first sunny days of the year, even though with the wind it was still a little cold. You were shooing some campers around, most of them being your siblings but Luke also spotted some satyrs and a few unclaimed kids. Castor and Pollux both leaned over rows of strawberries, parting the plants and placing the spare ones into buckets gently.

"Connor, Travis, put that worm down!" You shouted across the strawberry field. The two raven-haired boys where running across the field, stepping on some plants and pestering the other kids with some worms they found in the dirt.

Luke smiled at you as he approached you, taking in the sight of you. You were wearing the orange camp halfblood tshirt, blue jeans and green flipflops. You were giving the siblings a killer gaze which left Luke laughing. He approached you quickly and wrapped his arms around you.

"You need to teach your kids some manners." You growled unhappy. Luke kept you in a tight hug and rocked you around a little. "And you need to take a breath." He mocked, pocking your forehead and rubbing over the angry wrinkles on your forehead.

You huffed and bumped your head into Luke's shoulder before you raised your head and kissed him gently. Luke smiled into the kiss and rubbed his thumbs over your hips.

"You look very pretty today." He whispered. "The spring gives you a nice glow." You smiled in return and couldn't help but to blush a tiny but. "I'm so glad the winter is over." You groaned into his chest. The winter always left you feeling dull and empty.

Luke rubbed your back up and down. "Agreed. I hate seeing you so sad because of it. Now you are blooming again, that's way better." He laughed slightly and you could feel the laugh vibrating in his chest. You grinned up at him but suddenly, there was a distant scream and two laughs. "Oh for heaven's sake." You grumbled angrily and pulled away from Luke.

You jumped over a few strawberry plants and stormed over towards the source of the scream.

Connor and Travis where hiding behind the Athena cabin, a metal bucket with some worms in the between them. Annabeth Chase, one of the younger Athena girls, was ducking away as they threw worms at her.

You growled angrily and raised your hand. One of the closer apple trees bowed down its branches and picked up the two boys by their hoods.

"Whoa, oh no." Travis shouted as he was lifted a few feet into the air. "And what excatly are you two doing here?" You ask sternly but cracked a smile as you saw Annabeth giggling in the distance.

"We were spreading the worm colony." Travis argued quickly. "That's right. So all plants have enough worms and become pretty." Connor added.

You rolled your eyes and let the tree hold them a little higher over the ground. "I am very sure that Annabeth is pretty enough and doesn't need the assistance of some worms." You argued.

Luke appeared behind you and stopped next to you, standing tall with crossed arms and a smirk. "Luke, help! They're being mean." Connor said, suddenly very whiny and you had to hold back a laugh. Luke chuckled and nodded.

"Mhh, sure. Very, very mean. The most evil person we will ever meet." He joked and patted your hair.

"Can you please let us down?" Travis asked with big, innocent eyes. "No." You said unrelenting. "Please!!" They now whined in unison.

"Come on." Luke patted your back encouraging. You rolled your eyes annoyed. "No."

"What if you get a kiss for it?" Luke suggested mischievously. Connor and Travis groaned dramatically. You smirked at Luke. "You know what... it's a deal."

Luke smiled and leaned closer to you, kissing you gently which caused the siblings to make fake gagging noises. Luke pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours.

"You get another kiss if you let them go now." He whispered. You grumbled unhappy but dropped the Stolls on the floor. They both quickly got up and headed off in a swift pace, turning their heads a few times anxiously which made you laugh.

Luke wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder. He let out a pleased sigh and peppered your neck with a few kisses which caused you to giggle. "Brats." You mumbled and leaned back into Luke's embrace.

Luke chuckled. "Don't let them ruin your day. Instead i wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the beach with me and do some photosynthesis?"

You burst out laughing. "You know im not a plant?" You chuckled and turned around to hug Luke tightly. "But i would love to lay in the sun with you."

Luke smiled and hugged you back tightly. "Awesome. See? It's photosynthesis."

You rolled your eyes but smiled widely. "Whatever you say, love."

[tojisun]

sunnyyy!! omg omg okay so idk what you put in your toxic dbf series but im sure its crack cause i know its freaking hurtful but i love it!! ur mind is >>>>>

alsoooo, i have this idea that i plan on writing for miguel but idk where to start SO IM GIVINF IT TO YOUUU!!

so lets call her bunny in this one. say bunny is enough of his shit, won’t let him do her dirty anymore because she refuses to be stupid. she’s no longer cassie howard and moves on to another man. a man who knows what he wants and who isn’t afraid to let her know that he wants her. he’ll cherish her, he adores the fuck out of her, he shows her off and he makes a promise to put a ring on her finger,

but simon doesn’t like that. not even one bit. and it ticks him off because why is he like this? why is he so worked up that she finds someone who finally treats her better than she can? yet, he can’t let it go. he lets her know. she has to know.

and so, at two am he comes knocking at her door. flowers in his hand, nicely dressed for the first time to let her know that he’s doing it for her and only her. not erin.

and it takes a lot in her to not slam the door in his face because she’s happy right now,

“you look at him the way i wanted to be looked by you, sweetheart” he admits, swallowing the lump in his throat. “and i envy that.”

she stares at him with a deadpan look. not really feeling a single thing anymore, leading him to continue.

“i have no right to say that, i know but—“ he pauses to take a deep breath. “i want to be with you. i want to be your man and i want you to let me”

she doesn’t want him to

ANA?? ANA MY LOVE???? THIS MAKES ME VIOLENTLY ILL

thinking about this in the dbf!simon series??? oh but im absolutely sobbing // same timeline as this !!

thinking about how you cry and wail and mourn for the years wasted on simon. thinking about the way you crumple on your bed, curling underneath your sheets, your cries now having been reduced to silent tears—this doesn’t mean you feel any better. instead, you feel even more distraught, upset in a way that feels bigger than yourself.

thinking about the promise you make to yourself. how, when the morning breaks, you will move on. that no matter how painful it may be—and it will be—you will strive to let go of simon. truly and completely this time around.

and that’s what you do. you fall asleep in exhaustion, heart heavy and mind buzzed. in the morning, you blink your eyes open and lay in bed for a few more minutes, suspended above your heartbreak, before it all comes crashing down on you. tears trickle from the corners of your eyes but you stay resolute, strong grip corralling your grief into the corner of your heart, before you get your day going.

you start by throwing everything that reminds you of simon: polaroid pictures and framed photos, shirts and clothes and socks and lingeries, towels and bedsheets, trinkets and accessories from across the globe—little souvenirs he’s brought to appease you.

(in the long haul, many of them were actually donated, while some were sold. but today, as you submerged yourself in your heartache, you dumped everything in a black garbage bag. out of sight, out of mind.)

blocking simon’s number actually turned out to be last. you deleted the pictures you have with simon in your phone prior, and then blocked and deleted his number altogether.

you breathed in deeply once you’re finished and collapsed to your bed again, trying to ignore the bareness of the walls and the emptiness of your room (let alone your heart).

the tears come again—they will come more often than not—and you let them. you open the locked corner of your heart and let the grief out. you mourn for what was lost; for what could’ve been. but most importantly, you mourn for the ways you’ve let yourself be trapped in such an unhappy moment.

moving on comes slowly; it comes so torturously that you thought it would never happen. but it does, and it does so during one quiet afternoon.

on that day, you realize that not once did you think of simon. not once did the memories trickle in to rip you away from the jovial present. and as you stand there in your kitchen, the sounds of the microwave beeps piercing through mutedly, you feel remade.

you feel whole, once again.

-

simon noticed, of course. he noticed the way your messages stopped coming in, or the way you no longer use your dad as an excuse to meet simon, or the way you just fell off the radar.

simon tried to reach out to you once and realized that you’ve got his number blocked.

it’s whatever, he thinks. because simon has never known you well, has never tried to learn more about you, so he thinks that this—your silent treatment and your detachment—is all a ploy. something like you playing hard-to-get.

so simon doesn’t think much about it until days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months, and months are slowly building up to turn to a year.

simon doesn’t hear from you and, despite all his posturing, he realizes that he’s missed you. so he decides to drive by to pick you up for dinner and maybe apologize for whatever it is now that he’s done.

he gets to your dorm and rings your room. the intercom scratches awake, the person from the other side, your dorm mate he’s sure, asks who it was, and simon tells them his name. then, he tells them that he’s here for you.

there is silence for a while, almost loaded in a way that simon knows it’s not the intercom breaking up, and he gets his answer when he’s given a curt reply of, “she doesn’t want to see you. bye.” there is the distinct screech and then the line drops before simon could even ask why.

and simon feels lost. untethered.

-

john is a good man. that’s the first thing you realized. it terrified you, at first, how much you looked forward to meeting him. how much of being with him—simon’s friend—makes you happy.

you waited for the other shoe to drop, shoulders perpetually hunched as though that can shield you from the inevitable of john leaving you. of john using you.

but john is so warm. john is so gentle and kind and patient and loving.

john holds your hand and you know he isn’t looking for more. he drops you off at home, tells you to rest well and to say hi to your dorm mates, before taking off on his bike.

john kisses your cheeks and you know he isn’t looking for something more passionate. more heated. and you crave for his touch, yes, but there is something so special in the way john shows his affection—all crinkled smile and quiet chuckles; all whispered words and promises fulfilled; all soft and tender and secure.

it was a love so different, so beautiful, so really it wasn’t surprising at all when your relationship grows, thriving alongside your healing.

(he promised, you know? he promised, as he played with your hand, that he’ll one day put a ring on your finger. your lips wobbled and you told him to stop making loaded promises such as that, but john just turned to you with a soft smile and said, “i look forward to the day we share the same vow, bunny. if you would have me.”

you hiccupped sob and threw your arms over his shoulders, nodding because, “i would. john, i would!”

he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and sharing warmth with you. you burrowed your head on the crook of his shoulder, breathing him in, letting his presence wash over you.

john, you thought. johnjohnjohn.)

-

simon drives to you the day after he confronted john. he drives to you with all of his messy heart spilling from the ridges of his ribs, beating only one name—yours.

he’s never felt this way before. not with all the pretty people he’s gone out with, or his first love, or even erin. erin who simon once imagined a future with. erin who simon once loved. not even that could triumph over the expanding turmoil that simon’s basking in.

he calls on the intercom of your dorm again, begs your roommate that may you please hear him out, and then he sees you.

god, you’re just as beautiful as he remembers.

“love–”

“what’re you doing here?”

your words are soft, quiet, but simon isn’t fooled. he sees the anger in your eyes, the hurt having festered into resentment. he wonders how apologies could trickle from his lips—where to even begin?

“please,” you say when simon’s silence stretches on. “just tell me whatever you want and then leave.”

“this. this is what i’m here for. the anger in your eyes– it’s just–…” he breathes in sharply. “i saw you and john, you know? and the way you look at him, it’s how i want to be looked at by you, love.” he swallows the lump in his throat. “i didn’t know what i had until i lost you and i’m so envious of him, i am, so please.”

you stare at him with wide eyes even when your face is smooth of any emotion. simon wonders what you must be thinking but he bulldozes through, hoping that you can give him one last chance.

he promises this time, truly, he’ll be better.

“i have no right to say this, i know, but–” he pauses to take a deep breath, his fists balled tightly. “i want to be with you. i want to be your man and i want you to let me.”

a heartbeat passes, and then, “simon, you are a selfish, selfish man.”

your words are barely louder than a whisper but they scratch at simon’s heart. he looks at you, gaze turning desperate when he sees nothing but bubbling fury and disappointment in your own.

“how dare you,” you say. “you tell me that you saw me and john, and then what? instead of letting me go, instead of letting me move on, you come in here and demand that i return to you?”

“love, i–”

“don’t call me that!”

your anger tips over, now spilling out. he watches the way your eyes glisten, tears dripping to stain your cheeks.

“i’m not your anything, si! not anymore!” you take in a ragged rasp of air, choking on your sob. it tugs at simon’s heartstrings and he moves to comfort you but you pull away, sneering at him in your anger. you wipe at your eyes, scrubbing furiously.

“everything about what you’ve said just now, everything, was all about your wants. all about you. just like how it’s always been,” you murmur, the fight leaving you.

you looked small, hunching into yourself, and simon is hit with this feeling; something that lodges itself in his throat.

“lov–… i’m sorry,” he says because he is.

gods he is.

“just go,” you tell him, meeting his eyes for one last time because he knows that this is the end of it all.

you turn away from him then, closing the building door behind you. he watches from behind he glass doors as you disappear into the hallways and stepped into the elevators and, just like that, simon’s lost his chance of making things right.

ANA MY GOD THIS MADE ME FERAL!! i hope u would like this one bb :(( hope i gave ur vision justice

[inlovewithfictionalmen7]

I'm Sorry Mommy

this is my first attempt at writing smut so im sorry if its bad haha

Rafe Cameron x fem!reader 

summery: a day out golfing dosent end well when y/n over hears something the boys are talking about.

warnings: oral,sub!Rafe, Rafe crying, kinda mean reader, fem!reader, dom!reader.

word count: 1,807

————————————-<3————————————

y/n and rafe were at the country club golfing with topper and kelce. y/n isn't supper into golfing but she loves spending time with rafe so she's down for anything even if that meant standing in the hot sun while her boyfriend played his sport with his friends so be it.  

“Hey babe can you go get us some more drinks please?” Rafe asks her nicely while lining up for his swing. “Yeah of course.”she says, smiling at him and walking away. Before she can get to far though she hears topper and kelce laughing so she stops for a sec to hear what they say 

“Man rafe she's like your little bitch huh” kelce says slapping Rafes back then topper jumps in “oh bro i bet she's just worships you in bed and lets you use her” y/n narrows her eyes hoping rafe would change the topic because they both know whos in charge behind closed doors, but her hopes are proven useless as she hears “oh yeah man she's like the biggest slut in bed. I love it” leave her boyfriend's mouth. The boys let out some whoops. 

y/n finally goes up and gets their drinks, heading back to the boys, smiling as she hands topper and kelce's theirs, but when she turned her back to face rafe her smile dropped bringing his drink to her lips she takes a sip looking him straight in the eyes before spitting in his cup, smiling and handing it to him. The look on his face tell her, he knows that she heard him and that he was fucked.

The drive home was silent for the most part. Rafe looked over at y/n every once and awhile while she was looking out the window. He knew he was in trouble but he didnt know how he was gonna be punished and that scared him.

After Rafe pulled into his driveway and turned off the truck they sat there in silence for a couple minutes before he tried to speak “baby-” but he's cut off by y/n  “go upstairs to your room and strip.”  she turns to him, grabbing his face making him look at her. Oh god she does not look happy. Rafe thought to himself  “and dont you fucking dare touch yourself” she stated before shoving his face away and getting out of the truck. Rafe doesn't say anything as he gets out and follows her inside not wanting to make his punishment worse. 

As he heads to the stairs he notices y/n heading for the kitchen. “y/n? Where are you going?” he asks cautiously. She stops and looks at him over her shoulder “do as you're told and go up stairs rafe.” she says coldly walking away. Rafe gulps and walks up stairs. In his room he strips and sits on his bed looking at his hard cock, fighting the urge to touch it. Downstairs y/n takes her sweet time getting a cup of water and looking out the window some more just to mess with rafe some more. Taking the last sip of water she turns and heads upstairs 

Rafes head flies up when he hears his door close, he sees his beautiful girlfriend standing there with a very unhappy look on her face. “Now rafe do you wanna tell me why you're being punished?” she says slowly walking towards him. “I-i dont k-know” he stutters looking down at the ground knowing damn well what he did to deserve this, just not wanting to admit it. y/n grabs his chin forcing him to look at her, he whimpers slightly at the sudden movement. “Oh i think you do rafey” y/n says a smirk playing on her lips. Rafe shakes his head, tears coming to his eyes, and his cock twitching. “Something about me being uh, what'd you say the biggest slut in bed, and letting your friends say that about me?” she hums at the end looking at him. His eyes go wide knowing he has no way out of this.

“Im sorry” rafe whimpers before his hairs being pulled back. “I'm sorry what” she says getting so close to his face he could almost feel her lips on his. “I-im s-sorry m-mommy” he says as a blush rises on his cheeks. She smiles at him and pulls away. “What are you sorry for baby” she asks the man in front of her. “For saying stuff that wasn't true about us, a-and l-letting them talk ab-about you like that” rafe cries, “im so sorry mommy!” he says struggling to look and hold eye contact with the woman. 

y/n smiles at him and places a quick kiss on his lips. Pulling away and letting go of his face much more gently than before and instead gripping his rock hard cock, watching as he jumps at the sudden relief. “You've been a very bad boy Rafey” she says slowly stroking his cock making his hips jut up. “Please mommy, I'm sorry” he says before biting his lip. She starts stroking him faster, making him moan and cry. “Mommy can i cum please let me cum. I-ill do anything” he begs the woman as he reaches his climax. 

Right as y/n feels him twitch she pulls her hand away making he cry out in frustration. “Oh did you really think I'd let you off that easily?” She laughs at the poor boy “god you're pathetic” she adds, making him turn his face away from her. “Here's what's gonna happen baby.” she starts as she takes off her shirt and shorts, leaving her in her bra and underwear, while he looks at her with hopeful eyes. 

“I'm going to touch myself, you're going to watch me” she says, taking off her underwear so slowly just to tease the man. “And if you touch yourself i'll leave you like this, do you understand me baby boy”  she unclips her bra letting it slide down her arms exposing her breasts to the needy man. 

“Y-yes i understand” he says hypnotized by her breasts to notice he forgot an important word “yes. What” she says standing in front of him. “Yes mommy” he says looking up at her face with pleading eyes. “Good boy,” she says lightly tapping his cheek before getting on the bed, spreading her legs right in front of Rafe so he has a good view. Rafe lets out a loud whimper when he sees how wet she is. Not thinking he reaches out to touch her however his hand gets slapped away as she tsks at him. 

Bringing her hand to her core she collects some of her wetness before bringing her hand to his mouth. Rafe wasted no time in taking her fingers into his mouth, sucking the juices off them, while moaning. y/n pulls her fingers out of his warm mouth and brings it back to her core. She moans as she rubs her clit. Rafes cock twitches and he watches his girlfriend finger herself. 

When she comes she throws her head back and lets out a loud moan of his name. Causing him to whimper again. “Please mommy it hurts” he begs her as she catches her breath. y/n looks at the pathetic man in front of her. “Hmmm i'm not sure you've earned it yet rafey” she looks at him waiting to see what he says “please let me taste you again mommy please” he begs her just wanting to please her. “Come here sweet boy” she spread her legs again. Putting her leg on his shoulder when he's close enough to her “go ahead please mommy” she encourages after seeing his hesitation. 

He wasted no time in leaning down and licking up her slit gathering all her juices,hearing the beautiful girl moan when he reached her clit. Sucking it into his mouth just the way he knows she likes it. y/n runs her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to her and she grinds her hips into his face. Rafe groans looking up at her face. He loves pleasing y/n, he'd do anything to make up for what he did today. He could tell she was close to coming so he shoved two fingers into her wet core to push her over the edge. Hearing her loud moans he caused. He keeps licking and sucking at her until he feels his hair being pulled back. 

Rafes a panting mess when he comes up, looking at her like she's the most beautiful girl in the world, because in his eyes she was. y/n looks down at her boyfriend before chuckling which confuses rafe “you really are impatient huh rafe” when all she gets in return is a more confused look she continues “you like eating my pussy so much you came from humping your bed and making a huge mess” at that he looks down and sees the mess he made before turning bright red and burying  his face in y/n´s stomach “i'm sorry mommy i-i didn't mean too i swear” he cries scared shes gonna be even more mad and punish him more. Though y/n can tell that he's actually scared and upset so she's not going to keep going…. Tonight anyway. 

She shushes  Rafe while rubbing his head “it's okay, you're okay sweetheart.” when she tries to get up he holds onto her tighter “I'm not going anywhere my love, i'm just getting stuff to clean you up okay?” She asks him to which he nods and reluctantly lets go of her. 

y/n goes to the bathroom getting a washcloth wet after using the bathroom. When she leaves the bathroom she sees rafe hugging his pillow like how he was just holding her and smiles. “Okay love can you roll over for me” she asks rubbing his back, once he does she says “i'm just gonna wipe you down okay? That's it, we're all done for tonight” he nods at her with a small smile on his lips. 

Once he's all clean y/n changes the blankets on the bed and gets a pair of boxers for Rafe to put on, and herself one of his shirts and her underwear. 

Crawling into bed with rafe he grabs onto her and puts his head on her chest “thank you mommy” y/n rubs the back of his neck “not mommy right now my love. Were all done for right now” she kisses his head. y/n does bother telling him they'll continue this later. 

“I love you y/n” Rafe mumbles quietly 

“I love you too Rafey” she says, kissing his head again before they both drift off to sleep. 

[helplesslypurple77]

Day 3-Fukuzawa/Reader w/ Lingerie and Wedding Night

Notes: btw the lingerie im describing is the Lorna Lace collection in white. It's super pretty you should google it. Haha lol, and i also realized halfway through writing this that this is technically a rich CEO au, jumping on the hype train i guess

I actually have a healthy relationship with my father, but like any good woman i have a weakness for sexy middle aged men

You had always known this would happen. It was the oldest daughter's duty to marry a man and carry on the family line. This was the fact that had been drilled into your head since you could walk. A girl could not inherit the daily company no, that duty went to the male children, no matter how dumb they were. And you had accepted it as well. It's not like you liked it or anything, in fact you thought the entire rule was old fashioned and doomed to fail, but there really wasn't much choice in the matter.

And you weren't too unhappy, you yourself didn't want to run the company, but your second sister deserved to, not your arrogant, lazy brothers. Second sister had worked hard all her life, was intelligent and beautiful and kind and deserved to inherit the company over the men. Everyone knew it, the servants whispered and gossip was prevalent around high society, but father refused, so intent on tradition that he doomed the company to fail. All you wanted in life was to live a comfortable life with a handsome man who treated you with respect, and maybe have a child or two.

So that's why you were here, a newlywed woman to a man twenty years your senior, sold off like cattle with no choice in the matter. You had never even seen your new husband. The marriage talks had happened without your input obviously and the ceremony was shot down by your father who, ‘didn't want to waste resources on a stuffy event like that.’ All you had were rumors, for your new husband did not like public appearances, and there were suspiciously few photos of him.

Yukichi Fukuzawa, the president of ADA corp, and a man of high social standing and wealth. He was forty-five, apparently a ‘highly upstanding person from a highly reputable background,’ and very wealthy. And also your new husband. You supposed you were lucky to ‘score’ such a highly sought after man, even if he was a lot older than you but you had at least hoped to marry a man closer to you in age. But if you were lucky he would leave you to your own devices and let you live your life happy, if a little lonely.

A knock sounded and second sister peaked her head in, sending you a smile. You relaxed, sinking back onto the soft silk of the bed you were sitting on, and shot her a nervous smile. She slipped inside, closing the door behind her.

Second sister Helena was tall, and with her long golden hair and blue eyes she could have easily been mistaken for a model. She looked nothing like you, and it made sense, given that you had different mothers. Father had sired each of his children with a different woman in an effort to create the perfect male heir. And because father was a man of high standing many women were lining up for the chance to have a child support check. And of course, he picked only the most attractive women. Second sister’s mother was a Swedish runway model, while yours had been a movie actress. Your brother's mothers were also varied, from models to actresses to intellectuals, all with stunning looks and the brains to match. Your father might be a douchebag but his theory held water, all the children of your family were stunning beauties, and all intelligent as well.

She came to sit next to you on the bed, and passed a small box in your direction with an apologetic smile. “I missed your twenty-fifth birthday sis, so here.” You shoot her a grateful thanks, fingering the box in your lap. It's small, maybe five inches and perfectly square, wrapped in colorful polka dot paper. You carefully slip the sides open, trying not to make a mess. Your sister giggles beside you.

“You wanna hear something funny?” You stop, raising an eyebrow in her direction. Whenever that line excites your sister's mouth, she's usually talking about one of two things. Boys, or the most horrific thing you can think of. You'll never forget the one time she preceded that one line by telling you most gleefully that her ex boyfriend had ‘accidentally’ gotten run over then lit on fire then drowned in the ocean. She glares balefully at your expression. “What…it's nothing bad. I met your new husband, and girl,” She pauses, wiggling her eyebrows excitedly. “He's such a dilf! I'm so happy for you!”

It's about now when you get the paper off the present, and see the pink box with black letters scrawled across it that say , ‘Agent Provocateur’ in a pretty curly font. You choke on your spit, and start coughing violently. Your sister pounds you on the back in good spirits. When you finally finish your coughing fit, you turn to her with a bemused smile on your face. “I dont no weather to hit you or hug you, Helena.” She smiles. “Open it.” She says, excitement all over her face. “I just know you're going to love it.”

You do as she instructs, and from within the crinkly tissue paper you pull the naughty treasure inside. You shake your head with a smile, if nothing else your sister has always had good taste. Its white, befitting of a wedding/birthday gift, and the small amount of fabric it possesses is a pretty floral lace. The bra is a half cup, with little white bows at the spot where the strap starts. The panties are lace as well, with a diamond pattern line of holes going all the way around, leaving the embarrassing parts uncovered. It even comes with white lace stockings, and a garter to hold them up. You shoot your sister an embarrassed smile. “Thank you Helena, they're absolutely beautiful.” She gives you a small side hug in response. “I know.” She says. “Now try them on.”

All complaints are useless against her, she uses everything from pleading to guilt tripping and at some point you just give up and do as she requests. And as you gaze on yourself in the mirror, you can really say you're glad you did. You look innocent, but also sexy and powerful and you think that if you were marrying the man you loved you would wear this gift. You feel kind of bad that it's going to stay sealed away in a box for your entire life. The bra hugs your breast perfectly, shoving them up a little to provide the perfect amount of cleavage, and the lace panties frame your butt perfectly. The stockings and garter just add the perfect bit of naughty to the otherwise innocent(as innocent as Lingerie can get) picture. Your sister pokes her head around the bathroom door, grinning as you shriek in embarrassment and yank on the silk robe she had left you. Is suspiciously short, only reaching mid thigh but it's better than nothing.

She shoves you into a chair, and gets started on your makeup. You sigh. “Why do I even need makeup, it's not like anybody is going to see me.” She tuts threateningly. “It's to complete the look. Now don't move.” She starts on your base, and for a while the only sound is her gentle humming, and the squirt of makeup products.

It's not until Helena moves onto the hair that she breaks the peaceful mood. “And did father not tell you? You're supposed to ‘consummate’ the marriage tonight.” You open your eyes abruptly with a shout of surprise. “What?” She shrugs. “I guess he didn't, well anyway he should be coming…” Helena checks her watch with a glance, as she skilfully braids white and pink ribbons into your hair. “In about two minutes!”

Even with your shrieks of protest you're not allowed to move until she finishes her hair, and by the time she does it's already too late. She sends you a smile as she picks up her purse and kisses you on the cheek. You glare. “Helena! You took so long i dont have time to change.” She opens the door and you receive a playful grin. “I know,” She says, and you have the dreadful feeling you’ve fallen into a trap. “That was the plan. Have fun big sister.” And with that, she’s gone, leaving you a nervous wreck done up in lingerie, a honey trap just waiting for a man to fall right in. You rush to the bathroom, throwing a glance at the large mirror. You must admit she did a good job, you look very pretty with pink eyeshadow and gold glitter and your hair done up a sexy half updo, but you don't want to look good. You don't want to look like you were waiting here to seduce him. Hopefully you can just explain yourself and the two of you can just sleep. Of what if he thought you were trying to seduce him and got all cocky. That would be humiliating. Your pride would be forever tarnished and your dreams of a quiet life ruined. All because of Helena and her terrible ideas!

Your (probably too dramatic) spiral of doom is interrupted by a quiet knock on the door. You take a deep breath, steady your heart and tie your bathrobe tight, and answer the door.

The sight that greets you when you open the door is surprising to say the least and you suddenly understand what your sister meant when she said he was ‘a dilf’, for the man in the hallway is, quite literally, the quintessential dilf. He is tall, and oh so handsome, with silver hair and piercing gray blue eyes surrounded by the slightest wrinkles. He clears his throat. “Are you Miss Name?”

You thank your sister for making you learn a poker face and send him a small, blank smile. “Yes, are you Mr. Fukuzawa?” Those sexy eyes scan your face, catching on the gold glitter in the corners of your eyes before he nods. “May I come in Miss?” You open the door wider and allow him in, your smile never wavering. You take your seats, sitting across from each other conveniently ignoring the bed on the other side of the room. In horror you realize the box from your sister is still sitting on the table, but a sigh of relief escapes your lips as you see the top of the box is flipped over, the incriminating lettering hidden from sight.

It's hard not to notice how unfairly sexy Fukuzawa looks in a suit, and it makes all these really inappropriate thoughts of sitting on that lap pour into your brain. But still, you do your best to uphold your smile as you speak. “I'm sorry Mr. Fukuzawa, my father unfortunately forgot to inform me that you would be coming tonight.” Your father most definitely did not forget, it's more than likely that he didn't tell you in fear that you would escape. You cursed your father out in your brain, all while maintaining that smile on your lips.

He nods. “It is alright. I didn't intend to consummate this wedding in the first place.” This is what you wanted, but for some reason you feel a little let down. Maybe he doesn't find you attractive? You sigh, he must be blind then. Or gay.

“I see.” is all you say. The room falls into an uncomfortable silence. It's almost comical how your mood has taken a dramatic turn. Not five minutes ago you were lamenting the fact that your husband might be interested, and now you were unhappy that he in fact, was not interested in you. A slight glare entered your eyes and with your mouth still curved into that small smile you made quite the threatening picture. Fukuzawa spoke again, probably fishing for things to say in an effort to make you more comfortable, because of corse he was kind and able to read the room, and of course he didnt want to fuck you.

“The weather is lovely today isn't it Miss Name?”

“I suppose.” You know you sound curt and unfriendly, and you know it's not fair of you, but you're really annoyed. Fukuzawa’s smile wavers a bit at your curt attitude, but he still smiles comfortingly at you. This only makes you angrier. How dare he be kind and handsome and rich, and not want to fuck you. Life is unfair.

$$$

Fukuzawa feels very uncomfortable right now. Because of course his new wife is a beautiful young thing who deserved someone more close to her age, of course she was upset with the plan that had been forced upon her. He most dearly wished he had been born ten years later, so he may woo her properly. He had read the report he was given of her. Miss Name was highly educated, of excellent parentage and absolutely gorgeous. She probably had a young and handsome boyfriend she wanted to marry.

If not for this whole ordeal she could have been with the man she loved, not a stuffy old man like him. It's really no wonder she’s upset. He sends her a small smile, hoping to sooth her probably injured feelings.

“I'm sorry you had to be involved in this mess Miss Name, I know this situation isn't ideal for both of us.” For some reason, her expression doesn't change at all. Her smile is still in place, but Fukuzawa can tell from her eyes that she’s upset. Her voice is curt when she responds.

“Thank you.” The temperature in the room drops a few degrees. He shivers involuntarily as the room falls back to silence, forcefully keeping his eyes away from her legs, covered in pure white lace, and the hint of a garter peeking out from under that small silk bathrobe. She didn't wear those for him for heaven sakes, she didn't even know he was coming tonight. He has no right to fantasize about what she’s wearing under that bathrobe, she may be his wife, but she will never desire him like that.

He clears his throat. “There's something I must tell you, I have an adopted son.” She perks up, the collar of her bathrobe falling a little, revealing a small strip of tantalizing white lace. The room feels too hot. “Really? How old is he?” The cold tone of her voice is melting away and Fukuzawa congratulates himself on the change of topic. “His name is Ranpo and he's five years old. Would you like to see a picture?” She nods, and Fukuzawa pulls out his phone, and shows her the lockscreen. She leans forward, and Fukuwawa is treated to a flash of white bows and lace as she coos at the photo. “He's so cute!”

Fukuzawa wonders if god hates him. Because of course his new wife is a pretty young thing who doesn't mind the fact that he has a son, and is whose collar is falling more and more, treating him to a divine temptation of white lace, and who will never love a boring older man like him. He wonders why the hell he's acting like a young man with these dirty thoughts, and takes a deep breath as she hands his phone back. The ice on her face has melted a bit, and she looks a bit less like she wants to flay him alive, although she still looks a bit sulky. It's much too adorable. Her lips are in a little pout, and it only succeeded in highlighting how plump and silky they look. They have a pink gloss smeared across them, and all Fukuzawa can think about is those lips wrapped around— he almost smacks himself across the face.

Ok so, Fukuzawa can admit that he is very much in lust with his new wife, it's pretty clear and he feels quite like a degenerate, he just hopes she cant tell. It's clear that she doesn't want him, heck she doesn't even seem to like him that much. And he would rather die, than ever force himself on her in any way. He clears his throat with a cough, shifting a little in his seat. “If it would make you more happy, you could have a lover, if that is what you wish.”

Any ice that had defrosted with Ranpo’s picture is immediately incinerated by her burning hot anger. She sits upright, her spine straight and her eyes burning. “Are you implying that I will cheat on you?” Fukuzawa waves his hands anxiously in denial. “No, that's not what i—” The fire abates, then returns in full force. “Wait, do you have a lover?” Fukuzawa shakes his head. ‘No! I only thought that you might have a younger boyfriend you wished to marry instead of me. After all, this decision was made without your input.” Fukuzawa is relieved to see the fire abate, replaced instead with a sweet kind of thanks.

She leans forward a little, a small sincere smile curving across her pretty lips. “I have no one. But it was very kind of you to ask.” She says, as the ties holding the bathrobe come looser and looser. “And even if I had someone, I would never ask for something like that.” Fukuzawa is horrified by the spike of hope that rises in his chest, pillaging through the walls around his heart and stabbing right in, warming his heart with a futile hope. He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts and emotions as she speaks.

“Would you like something to drink? I have some delicious green tea.” He nods, hoping the soothing aroma and taste will calm him down. She stands, and moves to the small kitchenette across from the bed, starting the tea. She speaks as she works. “So, I heard you met my sister Helena? Tall, blond…” Fukuzawa vividly remembers Helena, a tall blond woman who barged into his dinner and in no uncertain terms told him that if he mistreated her sister she would ruin his life. “Yes, she said hello to me at dinner.”

“I hope she didn't bother you, Helena is harmless, I promise.” It's clear how much love she has for her sister, it drips from every word as she chatters on, excitedly telling Fukuzawa story after story of her sister. Fukuzawa hopes dearly that one day, she will speak of him and Ranpo so fondly. His thoughts are imputent, he knows that, but it's in his best interests to not deny them. He's too old for all of this.

“Here you are, Mr. Fukuzawa.” She leans down, placing a fragrant cup of green tea on the table in front of him. “Call me Fukuzawa.” She shoots him a smile and a nod. “Call me Name.” It's small really, but it feels good. The atmosphere has become pleasant, so different from the earlier tense and icy landscape, and Fukuzawa feels relief, until of course, disaster strikes.

She trips slightly, and the glass of green tea she is carrying spills all over her chest, staining the white fabric green. Thankfully it's iced, but she still panics, probably worried about staining. And you see, the thing is, Fukuzawa knows he should turn around, he knows she’s panicking and she forgot herself for a moment, and he knows he should clear his throat or turn around or something. But he still watches in slow motion as she undoes the ties, pulling off that bathrobe and tossing it hurriedly away.

It's somehow straight out of his fantasies, and yet a curse of his nightmares. It's white, and lace and see-through and Fukuzawa feels all the blood in his body rush south. Maybe it's that the slight glimpses were teasing him the entire evening, or maybe he’s just too pent up, but he feels just like a virgin again, discovering porn for the first time. And it kind of is porn, forbidden 3d porn and he's going to die. She looks heavenly, the lace hugging her pretty boobs, the panties hiding nothing at all, and the garter and stocking combo just straight out of any man's wet dream. He feels like a creep, like a gross disgusting perverted old man and he wants her to suffocate him with that pretty pussy all wrapped up in white lace, he wants those pouty lips on his cock, he wants those legs wrapped around his waist while he pounds her into the bed—

His dick is hard, his mouth is open, and then she looks up, meeting his eyes and Fukuzawa feels fear for the first time in a while.

$$$

You know what happened, you were panicking about expensive lingerie and green tea stains and all you wanted to do was get the stain away from the actual underwear as fast as possible. But as your eyes meet Fukuzawa’s own and you take in his state, you can't really say your sorry. He looks wrecked. His eyes are hazy, his mouth open in shock, and the most telling evidence of all is the bulge in his pants. You let a small smirk overtake your face. He wanted you after all. Elation and arousal are the confusing cocktail at work in your stomach as you saunter around the kitchen table, and sit yourself directly on his inviting lap.

This seems to snap him right out of his daze, and he gestures frantically, an apology on his tongue. “I'm so sorry Name, i didn't—” You press a finger to his lips, feeling sexy and confident as you grind down slightly on the rather large bulge in his pants. He lets out a gratifying grunt, as you lean down, running your hands through his soft silver hair. Your voice is a pur when you speak. “You wanna know something?” you know you look devastatingly sexy, and it makes you feel powerful. “I really like you Fukuzawa.” His cheeks flush all cute, and his dick twitches under you. You continue. “And I want you. Do you want me?” His voice is husky, but still slightly formal when he speaks. “Yes. But are you sure you want me?”

You let out a coy little giggle, and grind down again. His little stifled noises are unfairly sexy, you can feel wetness in your panties already.

“I want you so bad hubby. Now kiss me.” With no more words he grants your request.

Fukuzawa kisses just like he looks, gentle and deep, devouring your very soul with his tongue. It makes your pussy throb desperately, and it makes you feel rushed and hot and the whole thing feels somehow even more sexy. Your hands knot in his hair, tangling the strands with your sweaty fingers as you rut together, barely covered pussy on still clothed cock, cores together. You know your whining, letting out little gasps and breaths and as he hoists you up, draping you right across the kitchen table, hands carefully pulling the crotch of your panties away from your drooling pussy. Its so dirty somehow, here you are, about to be fucked senseless by your sexy new husband, right on your kitchen table. You can't wait. He steps back, shedding his coat and tie, and unbuttoning a few of the top buttons.

He looks so sexy above you, panting as he slips a finger into your pussy, stroking your inner walls slowly. “More.” You whine out, the needy tone in your voice embarrassingly clear. Fukuzawa chuckles, adding another finger as per your request. “Do you have condoms? I'm afraid I didn't bring any.” He speeds up his fingers, playing slightly with your clit, and your head falls back. “Don't care. Maybe you can get me pregnant, hubby.” You can tell it affects him by the way his fingers retreat, swiftly replaced by his cock. You moan loudly as he bottoms out, as he hoists your legs over his shoulder, still almost fully clothed. It turns you on greatly, the contrast from your almost naked self, and his composed, still clothed person. His cock is thick, stretching your walls apart and it pulses inside you. You want him to fuck you stupid senseless.

Your hands grip the side of the table as he begins to move, his pace betraying his sense of urgency. Each thrust is deep, hard, and it moves you back on the table, before his hand on your legs pulls you back. His hair is sweat soaked, sticking to his cheeks as he fucks you, his eyes locked on your own.

“Feel good baby?” He pants, his voice a groan. “Yes, ohh so good.” Your voice is loud, and slightly husky with panted moans and breathes. You're seriously going to explode. For the first time in your life you want to thank your father, for finding you a sexy husband who could fuck you crazy. You still hated the man, but he had done some things right in his life.

He's ruining your insides, and you can feel every pulse and twitch of his dick inside you, all berriors gone. You feel unimaginably full and hot and purfect. He stops to lean down, and grips your thighs in both hands, speeding up his thrusts. Your eyes roll back as he hits that spot, over and over and over again.

“Oh Fukuzawa!” He stops his thrusts, pausing deep inside you and you pant. “Yukichi.”

“What?”

“Call me Yukichi.” Your clenches, even as your heart rate speeds up and you gasp out his name, panting it like your last breath. “Yukichi!” The last of your sentence dissolves in a moan as he resumes, all pretense gone, slamming in and out and in and out, and destroying your insides. “You sound so pretty like this, screaming my name.” His voice is rough and full of pants, and so, so sexy. Your hands leave the edge of the table and reach for your breasts, playing with your nipples harshly. You can feel your orgasm building, that familiar heat in the pit of your stomach, begging to be released.

“ ‘m cumming.” You warn, as his thrusts stutter, losing their rhythm. “Me too.” His voice is deep, and as he slams in one more time, and a hot feeling shoots inside of you, you lose it. You know you scream when you come, and at some point he drops your legs and kisses you, his dick still lodged inside of you. And as you come down from your high, and you feel his strong arms carrying you to the bed, you feel hopeful for your future with your sweet new husband, and all the good fuckings that will come with it.

Taglist: @mulit05ho3st4n

[errorscriber]

what lies beneath the facade? an observation of kazui mukuhara's face

my attempt on trying to analyze kazui's feelings! (not sure if this has been pointed out yet im sorry if someone made a similar post. this post has very, VERY brief/minor discussion of sui btw)

im sure we all know by now that this is kazui's true feelings about his marriage; he hates it, and shows a self deprecating smile to the audience. i think, that the right side of his face where his bangs are longer is where kazui shows his true feelings to us. im gonna put some scenes where i think it's the most damning (while there are other pics I think applies, they may look like im reaching a little, so I won't share those). this is why in some scenes in half/Cat, you may notice that Kazui's expression can look unnatural where this observation is at play.

hell, even in the Cat album cover here, he covers the side of his face where his bangs are longer. this man is trying his best not to show anyone what he really feels. letting the door itself do the talking, so why should he? signifying that he at least, cannot wait what to show Milgram, to show us, what secrets are behind that door. (but also channeling an air of uncertainty doing so)

as well as in Undercover, i think it's very interesting that the creators make it a point to show both halves of kazui. when his mugshot gets taken, both of his sides are shown to us. one where he's smiling, and one where he's not. notice how his left side is where he's grinning and his right side is where he's serious?

we only catch his serious expression with one glimpse before he realizes he's being observed and quickly shows us a smile. (then during that scene where they show us which location correlates to which prisoner, the light is shining on the right side of his body. also, kazui is the only prisoner where they show both of his side profiles. the others show 3/4 of their faces)

before i continue, thank you so much for reading in advance!! >_< anyways keep marching on and keep reading this cool post of mine!

more pictures where they emphasise on his "right" being his true self in Cat, where his eyes are shown on the start and end.

half:

when I took a closer look at these images... was kazui more unhappy being around the long haired woman Vs him and his wife?

left is kazui with his wife, right is kazui with the long haired woman

this next one really gets me a lot. the most clear cut observation that tells us the other half of his face is where he expresses his true self.

he tears up for one split second, a ball of teardrop forming on his eye. what was something on that stage that made him so emotional?

then he quickly looks away to see something else catching his attention (which was the apple) after he stood up and looked forwards, kazui genuinely looks shocked/surprised.

knowing this observation can also give us a different perspective to some other scenes in half. like this one:

his wife touching his right side of his face. multiple questions pop up in my head when i see this scene.

was she ready to hear kazui out? was she catching onto him that he was hiding a secret/hiding his feelings? or was she trying to comfort that side of his face, as if she was saying "whatever it is you want to tell me, im sure i can handle it." to him?

hinako tries to understand him. tries to "grasp" his true face, his "true self". but kazui can only give a weak, depressing grin, as he gently puts her palm away, balling his fingers around hers. he doesn't know if she's actually ready for it. even though she's gentle with how she holds his "true side".

as we all know, before they zoomed in to this shot of kazui putting her hand down, their silhouettes were blurry. if you weren't close enough, you almost thought she was choking and suffocating him. not only kazui felt like the marriage made him feel like he was in a rut, he was afraid of hinako "suffocating"/disliking his true feelings (or side), even though she is holding it with care. hence why he was putting her hand down.

of course we know it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to turn out, from the next scene here.

kazui is clearly depressed towards the outcomes. at the end of half, his right side is not very happy at all, despite his left side making it look like he's grinning.

everything is all a mess now.

cat:

after finding out hinako wanted to "touch and caress", kazui genuinely seems interested in this thought and was sincere about what he was feeling here, so he pursues her in hopes those feelings are fulfilled. interestingly, the lyrics "so, it's wrong?" are on the screen when he shows the camera his right side.

when he proposes to her, he still remains looking at her in this direction, although we can't see how his expression looks like. unfortunately for hinako though, this is the last time kazui ever looks at her on this side.

during the confession scene, his right side is blocked by the cup, so we actually don't know what he was feeling completely when he asked the question.

after this scene, we can finally see his right side again, but it's well hidden by kazui blocking that side of his face with a hand and cigarette. giving us a sense of mystery of what transpired after he asked the question.

kazui is entertaining his wife with magic tricks while showing his left side to the camera. his "fake" side is what he wants to show to her and to all of us.

but his left eye squints as he realizes about his dream. his left eye squinting is telling us that his fake side is breaking apart. then, kazui drops down to his knees. take note of the rope falling down on his left lap. after getting back up (from what seems like kazui stumbling from drinking 4 cups of alcohol), he rubs the right side of his face. he is really frustrated with himself here.

with all of the information we have so far, we can interpret this as kazui desiring to remove his fake, other half of himself (this is the only object we don't see when kazui is showing off his magic tricks, and ropes can be associated with suicide). he is given a choice to remove his left side, his false side, which is why that rope fell down that direction.

as he's about to tell hinako the truth, he transitions from

> lighting a cigarette, his eyes hidden from us

> kazui facepalming himself. as a smoke in a shape of a noose is formed. remember the rope i talked about earlier?

even though the rope initially landed on his left lap, the noose is angled to his right side. he's grasping his right side of the face as well. this, here, is kazui being ashamed of his "true self". if he could, he would want to remove his true self if it meant having to keep lying to people, or if it meant making people happy. kazui is going through with telling hinako the truth, while this scene tells us he is hesitating to do so and is 100% expecting for it to hurt him and her.

> he lets down his hand.

showing hinako and us, the audience, a very unique expression where he's snide, mischievous... almost mocking, yet at the same time, really depressed and frustrated with it all. from hinako's pose in half touching kazui's "true side", this is his answer; she is not going to like it one bit.

a stark difference in feelings. kazui looks like he's going to say or do something harmful, but his other side tells us otherwise. he didn't want things to be like this. also, it contrasts with the final scene in half very well.

when he bites on the dove, he doesn't look that satisfied doing so.

in this climax, it seems like kazui himself doesn't know what's what anymore, letting the adrenaline of telling his feelings take over him. letting both his "true" feelings and his "lying" self beat him up, because at this point of no return, what difference will his fake and real self make anyway?

i really love how we can't tell if his bloodied lips are frowning because he's shocked, distressed, or if he's grinning ear to ear, happy and glad to have finally told the truth. even in this scene you can tell that the right side of his lips is less happy than his left where his mouth is more elevated and smiling.

what does he feel now after all of this chaos? well, let's look back at his right side of his face again...

the MV ends with this shot of his right eye, slowly zooming in.

empty, emotionless, forlorn, and distant...

it's almost like he's staring and watching something at the sky after something fell down.

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[mamawasatesttube]

Please tell us more about the Selkie au 👀

I wanna know everything. What’s the significance of the pelt being worn by Tim? What are the backstories?

YEAH!!!! okay so a bit of background: selkies are critters from celtic/norse mythos. they are seal-human shapeshifters, who can change form by removing or wearing their sealskins; the most common tales involve fishermen stealing a selkie woman's sealskin cloak to entrap her as his wife, despite her yearning to return to the sea.

SO, with that being said:

kryptonians are selkies!!!

kon is created by cadmus labs and lex luthor. he doesn't even know the significance of his coat; it's kept locked away except for when he gets it for promotional photoshoots. he doesn't realize it has anything to do with why he's always discontented and afflicted with varying bouts of malaise.

when clark finds out - when he can see this physical, material evidence of kon's mistreatment - he's beyond horrified and enraged. they're violating a child, so profoundly that he doesn't even realize he's being violated, and he cannot let that stand.

lois, fully human but VERY protective of her husband and by extension all selkies: LET ME AT HIM. LET ME AT LUTHOR IM GONNA RIP HIS FACE OFF

clark, holding her off the ground: dearest, please. i need you to stay calm... and write the most damning exposé the planet has ever seen.

lois: .......FINE. but then YOU better rip that bald fucker's face off, you hear me?

clark comes home with kon in tow, uncharacteristically quiet and subdued. his eyes are red-rimmed and his cheeks blotchy, but lois doesn't say a word about it. she lets him sit curled up in the corner of the sofa, clutching his pelt around himself tight enough to make himself look small, and thinks he looks more like a child than he ever has before.

fast forward a couple years. kon has found his place in the family; jon in particular adores him. he's gotten kind of jaded and unhappy about his whole history; he's seen clark leave his sealskin around the house, has even seen lois wear it, but he's kept his hidden away in his room ever since that first day, except for when he's wearing it himself. clark, lois, and ma never touch it; the only one allowed to is jon, and even he knows not to push if kon's feeling antsy.

tim is kon's bestie. all the core four are besties. but none of them know the selkie secret - it's very well-guarded. they just know kon is a weirdo who really loves to take long walks on the beach and gaze at the ocean.

one day, he is on a long walk by the marina with tim. tim, somehow or other, falls into the water in january. he gets out quickly, of course, but it's cold and he's wet and kon really doesn't want him to get hypothermia, so--

he shrugs the sealskin coat off his own shoulders and wraps it around tim's, and tells him c'mon, let's get back to the house.

they go back to the house.

they walk in the door.

tim is wearing kon's coat.

tim. is WEARING. KON'S COAT.

kon, who barely even tolerates his beloved baby brother touching his coat, because he was so violated and taken advantage of in his earliest days!!!!

TIM IS WEARING KON'S!!! COAT!!!!!

clark hold her coffee. lois is about to whip out her shotgun.

and that's how we get the scene @cowboysorceror drew <3 clark is extremely concerned; lois is 👌 THIS CLOSE to a mama bear rampage, tim is freezing, and kon is like. well. this sure is happening!

other quick notes, in part brainstormed with beckett and also with my bestie @adjit in various dms:

kon doesn't, like, LOVE this whole scenario, but frankly, he's more worried about tim than he is upset about his coat. he knows tim would never use it to hurt him, to control him, to own him; he trusts tim. simple as that!

it's kind of hard to communicate this to clark and lois in a couple of quick facial expressions over tim's head, but he manages.

they get tim bundled into a hot shower and warm, dry clothes, etc. he's coming back downstairs from kon's room, afterwards, and pauses on his silent feet when he overhears his name in conversation.

"no, it's not--i'm fine, i promise," kon is saying. "tim's not like--tim wouldn't hurt me. i know he wouldn't. you don't gotta worry."

huh, tim thinks. he's pretty observant, not that he needed to be to notice the way clark and lois stared at him and kon earlier. clearly, the jacket is significant; he knows clark and jon have matching ones. maybe it's a family thing?

sounds like kon had some kind of shitty ex, and... they got worried about him getting into a relationship again?

well. no need to worry about that! he immediately resolves that he will put their worries at rest. he Will be the best boyfriend kon has EVER had.

like, they aren't dating (yet), but, uh, you know. semantics. details.

(he doesn't find out the actual secret until later. when he finally realizes what this meant, that kon trusted him with his personhood, he. well, he's not crying, but he does get this funny tug in his chest and he really, really has to go hug kon for a long time.)

[stvrrlightts]

levi ackerman nsfw!

levi ackerman hated many things. but at the top of that list was tardiness

"eren hurry up"

y/n hated being late. she was known for always being early for literally everything, eren however, was the exact opposite.

"im coming, im coming" he yelled

the pair arrived twenty minutes later than they were supposed too. which was very inconvenient concerning today the survey corps were going outside of the walls.

the mission was nothing too serious but they needed their titan and his keeper.

y/n was ordered to take care of eren after the female titan incident. they have been inseparable ever since.

"you're late"

y/n knew the captain would be unhappy with their late-coming but she hoped that he would let it slide considering the girl is usually an hour early.

"my apologies sir, eren was refusing to get up this morning" eren complained about having to take the blame even though it was his fault. "it won't happen again" y/n finished with a smile.

levi however, was not amused. he tutted at you, which was something y/n had never see him do before, and turned his attention to eren. the shorter man spoke with a sour expression

"y/n is your keeper, not your mother jeager. this will not happen again" his voice was stern. levi turned to face you, still talking to eren "if it does, i will come over there and wake you myself"

y/n was confused. why was he looking at her?

"y/n come to my office later. i need to have a word about this."

________

why does he need to speak with me? she pondered to herself

a loud growling sound appeared from behind the daydreaming girl. a seven foot titan that was about to eat y/n for lunch.

y/n quickly snapped out of her dream and turned around. the titan was ready to grab her but it was too late and was already falling to the ground. behind it was levi

"first being late and now this" levi shook his head. "you better come to my office later y/n, or your punishment will be even worse"

punishment?

________

todays mission was rather uneventful. they only spotted a handful of titans, most of which were killed rather easily considering they were rather small. but there was still one thing that y/n just couldn't get off her mind.

punishment?

after changing out of uniform back into some more comfortable clothes. y/n finally gathered the courage to make her way to the captains office.

y/n hoped it would just be the usual run laps around the yard all day or clean the captain office from top till bottom, but    y/n had a feeling it was gonna be different this time.

she took a deep breath and knocked on the door "captain? you wanted to see me?" the door swung open leaving y/n started

"get in"

she nodded and entered the exceptionally clean office. she figured that cleaning levis office couldn't be the punishment considering there wasn't a single spec of dust to be seen.

to be completely honest with you, y/n didn't know what to expect. she was terrified. levi closed the door behind y/n and locked it. y/n audibly gulped. a million thoughts ran through her mind.

is he going to beat me?  y/ns heart began to race. or worse? levi turned to face her

"how are you feeling y/n"

y/n didn't know if she should lie or not. "im good" she replied looking down at her feet. y/n was an awful liar.

levi walked towards the terrified girl. his face was enticing yet terrifying. levi pushed y/n into his leather armchair.

y/ns breath was caught in her throat. he placed a finger underneath her chin and lifted her face up, forcing eye contact.

"i said how are you feeling y/n?"

it felt as if levi was staring into her soul. y/n took a moment to answer. giving the captain time to study her face. brushing his rough hands over her rosy cheeks

"im scared"

levi let out a quiet laugh. "don't be scared sweetheart" y/ns chest tightened "if you do as your told and take your punishment like a good girl then you have nothing to be scared of" y/ns shoulders started to tense. she was starting to become less scared and more curious. what was going to happen?

"close your eyes"

y/n did as she was told hesitantly. levi placed his hands onto her chest and slowly began unbuttoning her shirt. y/n finally understood what was happening. y/n was no longer scared. her shirt was not completely off but her eyes were still closed. levi ran his hands over y/ns bare skin. y/n melted into his touch.

levi moved his hands down to the waist of her skirt. y/n bucked her hips letting him remove it. he placed his hands onto y/ns thighs and whispered into her ear "are you ready for your punishment now sweetheart?"

y/n nodded a little faster than intended. levi liked how needy she was starting to become.

he pressed his lips onto hers, gently slipping his tongue into her mouth. the kisses start to become more lustful as his hands move up y/ns thighs to her underwear. levi removed his lips from

y/ns. she whined in detest.

he slowly removed her panties and before kneeling on the ground he spoke "don't you dare cum until i tell you to" y/n nodded in reply paying more attention to the thought of him eating her out than what he was saying.

levi got to the floor and spread y/ns legs. she was dripping already and he had barely even touched her. levi loved it. he was throbbing.

he slowly pushed a finger inside of y/n. she gasped but nodded telling him it was okay. he slowly pumped his finger inside of her while placing soft kisses along her inner thighs. y/n let out a few quiet moans but it wasn't enough to satisfy levi.

he slowly added another finger and began to speed up. y/n was definitely louder now but the captain still wasn't content. levi moved his mouth to y/ns clit, still fingering her. y/n was in heaven. moans were spilling from her mouth and a tightening feeling in her stomach began to form.

"levi" she moaned realising all over his hands and mouth.

levi stopped what he was doing and stood up. he looked amused. "you didn't do as you were told" he said. "what?" y/n was confused. levi shook his head "i told you not to cum" y/n looked down. "I'm sorry" levi smirked

"you will be"

levi yanked y/n from the seat and bent her over. he quickly removed his belt and his trousers. without any warning he slammed his cock into y/n as hard as he could.

y/n cried out, she had barely came down from her high and he was already fucking her hard enough to hurt. levi groaned smacking her behind leaving a nice read handprint. he imagined how good she felt but it wasn't nearly as good as the real thing.

y/n was practically crying from the overstimulation and was really to cum again. "levi please" she yelled. levi caved into her please. "its okay sweetheart" he said, slamming into her even faster than before.

"finish for me baby" they both climaxed at the same time. levi slowly pulled his cock out and turned y/n back around. he kissed her neck gently.

"don't misbehave next time sweetheart."

word count: 1298

im more active on wattpad @ stvrrlightts 🩷

[sunfyresrider]

Where love ends, hate begins.

Synopsis: You are the wife of an imperial minister (Aemond Targaryen), who creates a high-society scandal by an affair with Aegon Targaryen, a dashing cavalry officer in 19th-century St. Petersburg. Your husband, Aemond, offers you a difficult choice: Go into exile with Aegon but never see your young son again, or remain with your family and abide by the rules of discretion.

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x You Warnings: Cheating, scandals, time accurate misogyny, mental health issues, mutual pining, kissing oolala Word Count: 6k Note: LOOSELY based on Anna Karenina. I tried to do an AU but I couldn't do scene for scene since it is such a long book and movie. I'm aiming for a three-part series but at this rate it might be more. @beaconofthehightower you asked for this so long ago and im so so so sorry it's taken me so long.

Act 1

It was early in the day and your maid, Annushka has been taking her time to dress you. She’s a good girl, young, loyal, and modest. One you could trust not to sleep with your husband. It was quite clear when several different maids had tried their hands at him. Albeit failing, at least to your knowledge. Except for Alys, sweet Alys, the wet nurse who wooed her way into his bed successfully. It was something you never spoke of but stayed as a permanent stain on your marriage. 

At the very least this affair was never publicized to embarrass you like most others would. Aemond seemed to truly love you and your son… the best way he could under the circumstances.

Ah yes… the circumstances of your marriage. You were nearly eighteen when you were whisked away to St. Petersburg and sold off like a dog. He was older than you and had far more power in government than you ever could. Aemond did court you out of kindness and propose to you out of respect, but the truth was clear… you had no ability to say no. 

It was a fine marriage at first. You didn’t love him, but he had a great interest in you. Aemond was a good man, an honorable man, but a boring one. The marriage bed was not filled with pleasure except for his own… You doubted he understood how a woman’s pleasure was different. Your day-to-day life was not filled with fun and affection but rather duties and niceties. 

You gave him one son, Jaehaerys, a beautiful snow haired boy. Both of you believed this would change your marriage for the better and bring you closer… It did not. Aemond was far too busy with his businesses and the government to spend time with you or your son. It all fell upon your shoulders to raise them both, take care of them both, and sacrifice everything for them both… You were a perpetually unhappy woman.

You moved over to your dressing table once she finished and began trying to read a letter that had recently been sent. Though your face remains expressionless your eyes frown. Your head swirls with a distant memory. Jacaerys in a vertical embrace with a woman; still clothed. You shake it away and turn the page to read more, another memory soon plaguing you. They were still kissing but this time he hoisted up her skirts.

The more you read the more concerned you are becoming. Jacaerys comes in quietly and late from a night on the town, he enters his dressing room. He stops. He smiles a foolish apologetic smile. Baela is waiting for him, shocked, enraged, holding out a billet-doux on. It was a love note! 

You stood up from your place and immediately went to your husband's office to tell him the gossip. Would he care that much? Probably not. Did it matter to him? Not so much. Would he most likely block out the sound of your voice? Yes. 

“... and Baela found a note from the governess.” Aemond was draining his coffee cup as you were trying to explain the situation. He continued to transfer papers from his desk to his portfolio as you waited impatiently for him to say something, anything. “Well…?” His voice was unattractive and reedy. Aemond finally took his spot as a senior figure in the government, he became a very busy man, and your drama obviously didn’t amuse him. “He wants me to come to Moscow… to persuade Baela to forgive him.” 

“I'm to be deprived of my wife so that adultery may be forgiven. I can't excuse him just because he's your brother.” Your eyes pleaded with him, “It's for Baela's sake too.” Aemond stood up and started preparing to leave. “I have four committees today…”

“Aemond, do you think nine years of marriage and children should count for nothing against a . . . an infatuation?” He cracked his knuckles, a very bad habit he’s had since you met. Aemond finally conceded with your request, “No. Very well.” He lifted your hand and placed a kiss on it, “but sin has a price, you may be sure of that.” 

He left soon after and his words rang in your head like an alarm. Jacaerys didn’t necessarily deserve forgiveness for his sin, but this was nine years of marriage and several children later… It would be a shame to let it go to waste all because of one mistake. 

When you went to tell Jaehaerys of your travels you found him playing with his locomotive and its tender plus a carriage or two, with part of the superstructure--the whole kit and caboodle was a rich child's table-top model railway. It was the best gift Aemond gave because ever since Jae rarely left its side.

“I need to speak with you, love.” Jaehaerys frowned and moved to take a seat on your lap. “I’m going to travel to Moscow for a little while because your aunt Baela is not well.” Your son was a sensitive child, the thought of you leaving caused him to tear up immediately. “Why?” You brushed his hair out of his face, “because that’s where Aunt Baela lives.” He sniveled, “why?”

You patiently said it again, “I told you, she's not well and I must visit her.” A tear slid down his cheek, “why?” You sighed, “Don't make me cry as well. I'll be back before you know it and bring you a present.” He stared up at you with his big blue eyes and you felt your heart shatter. “Don't want a present. I want you to stay.” You were on the brink of tears, “Oh . . . my little dragon.” Jaehaerys calmed himself at the idea of a new toy. He raised his chin and stared up at you with, “What present?” You laughed as you dabbed your eyes, “That’s better… it’ll be a surprise!” 

-

Annushka, your maid, rode with you in the train car to Moscow. She carried your bags with all your belongings and never complained once, she truly was a god send. You brought a picture of Jaehaerys with you… As you stared, the tears in your eyes began to form again. He was your little love, your little dragon who was more of an image of his father. You weren’t happy to be leaving in all honesty but who else would mend your family’s marriage. 

Surely not Jacaerys because he was a damned fool. Your husband was a damned fool as well. It wasn’t confirmed that he too dabbled in adultery, but it would not surprise you, he was very talented at keeping things discreet and hidden. It seemed to be a curse that loomed over you, every man around you just couldn’t keep his hands to himself and his wife. You vowed never to be like them for your son’s sake… 

As you were unboarding the train you nearly ran into a man, he was tall, muscular, and had medium length, wavy, white hair flowing over his shoulders. You barely exchanged a glance before you moved your separate ways. He was handsome, strikingly beautiful even, just one last glance to confirm you weren’t daydreaming. You turned back just to catch a final glimpse and he did the same. You quickly turned away, but his eyes lingered on your back. 

You were proven to be a hypocrite. It was extremely wrong of you to even think about another man being handsome. You pushed the feeling down into the depth of your stomach and pressed onward to meet Jacaerys. The moment you saw him you flung an arm around his neck and pulled him in for a warm kiss on the cheek. He smiled and put his arm around you. “You don't look ashamed.” Your sibling looked like a sad puppy, “I am, I really am.”

When you pulled Jacaerys back into the train car you noticed the same man from earlier sitting next to the old woman you temporarily chatted with. She spoke with you about her son, Aegon, and you did the exact same. The countess was coming to pick him up for a visit almost exactly like you were doing with Jacaerys. You smiled, “There, Countess, you have found your son and I have found my brother.” The countess stood up to greet you,

“Madame — has a son, too. It's the first time they have been apart, so she frets about him.”

Your gaze barely left the man, his crystal blue eyes seemed to pierce through your soul. “Oh! You are my half-brother's wife, excuse me for not recognizing you before.” Your mouth gaped open, “I’m so sorry I did not realize! You must be Countess Alicent then. I’ve heard so much about you both.” In truth, you barely heard about his half-brother or stepmother besides the fact he had them. 

You went to speak but the countess intercepted, “What a lovely surprise! We passed the time telling each other about our sons without realizing we were basically family.” You nodded toward him with a grin, “Yes, I've been hearing all about you.”

“That must have been very boring for you.” You wished to speak more but the ringing sound of the wheel-tapper's hammer was faintly audible in your ear as you hesitantly turned to leave, “Au revoir, Countess.” She walked forward and placed two hands on your cheeks, “Au revoir, my dear. Let me kiss your pretty face.” Countess Alicent did just that, it was a European custom you never quite got used to. You turned to offer your hand to Aegon as was customary. He took your hand, then the train lurched and moved, unsteadying you both. 

Immediately after seeing you, Aegon was awed by you, he noticed some kind of inner light or maybe aura that was different from the rest of Moscow. There was also the fact that you were simply beautiful, too beautiful for a city like this. You also appeared too youthful to have a son in his mind. It enticed him to try and discover more about you. 

The first thing he really thought about was how mysterious you seemed to be. Who would be able to drop everything and come and visit their family? It must mean you were truly dedicated to them, which was beautiful. Then how sweet of a display you put on when you met your dear brother. Your heart must be bigger than the rest… Just as Aegon was falling in love at first sight, a major accident happened that caught both your attention. 

You ran out to the platform where Jacaerys was and noticed he -- and everyone still on the platform was shocked by a dreadful scream and shouting. The train, having moved a few feet, stopped. Jacaerys hurried towards the scene of the accident, right opposite the gate. The Station master overtook him.

The Wheel-Tapper lied between the wheels, mangled. You and Jacaerys joined the horrified onlookers after successfully pushing through the crowd. The Guards Officer arrived, with his bouquet. Then Aegon Arrived soon after. He turned to the Guards Officer, “Keep your people inside until this has been cleared up.”

The Countess, Aegon, you and Jacaerys, almost in tears, came toward the gate. A Porter followed with your large suitcase, hatboxes, etc. Annushka had the traveling bag. “The sole support of a large family, they say.” You nearly scoffed at Jacaerys but decided to focus on the family of the deceased, “Can't anything be done for them?” Aegon glanced at you, “Wait for me, Madam.” A wide smirk grew on Alicent’s face as she watched her son run off. The countess turned to you “I've you to thank for that.”

You had no clue what she had meant by that. Jacaerys peered back and noticed Aegon with the Stationmaster, taking money from his wallet. “What a good fellow…” You turned, was he paying them because you said something? Was this a way of impressing you? You pondered, at least he was trying to win you over by paying the family of a victim. However, you were married, and one simple act of kindness wouldn’t drive you to infidelity… You weren't like your family.

-

Jacaerys and you were riding in a coach on the journey to his home. You hadn’t spoken much due to the minor trauma you had just endured… And the man you had just met who seemed to fancy you. “Have you known Aegon long?” He chuckled softly, “Did you like him? He's in love with Rhaena.” You weren’t exactly sure why that felt like a nail to your chest. Rhaena was your sister in law's Baela, little sister. She was like a princess, sensitive, excitable, somewhat high-strung, beautiful, it made sense he would love her. 

“Oh…” you paused, trying to once again avoid your thoughts, “But we should be discussing you and Baela.” He groaned and you began to scold him like your son. “What have you got to say for yourself?!” He pleaded with you, “I've said it all--on my knees--in tears . . . Now I need you to say it. I'm going to the office, so you'll have Baela to yourself.” You rolled your eyes, “Don't be home late.” Of course, you had to be the one to mend their relationship. 

-

In your mind the meeting with Baela went rather well. You spent an hour comforting her and letting her cry into your shoulders.  She cried about how she could never forgive him, and she didn’t love him anymore, but you knew it was a lie. You successfully got that information out of her and made her admit it out loud. Jacaerys was rather satisfied with the outcome however, surely it was not going to be that simple for him. Of course, he didn’t deserve simplicity after he disrespected her in such a way.

After that ordeal, you were sitting with Jacaerys's children playing a game with alphabet letters. The peace you had with them was quickly disturbed by Rhaena bursting in the door overly excited about something. You push the alphabet bricks aside and sigh, well that’s the end of that.

“Will you stay for the Bobrishchev's ball, —?” You didn’t enjoy them anymore; it was for young fresh faces to excitedly learn about each other. You were only 24 and yet you felt absolutely decrypted, perhaps due to the fact you married an older man. “Oh… I always feel dull and old at balls.” She scoffed, “How can you ever be dull and old?”

Jacaerys arrived in the doorway and quickly the children bolted over to him. He had come to give you a break and take them away, how sweet. “Tell her she must come to the ball!” He smiled at you mischievously, he knew how much you loathe them. “Of course, she must!” When Jacaerys scurried off you turned your attention toward Rhaena again. 

“I know why you want me to come. You want everyone to be there because you're sure it's going to be your night,” You acted out mock-mysteriousness. “How did you know?” You moved the alphabet bricks around to spell Aegon. “I know everything.” Rhaena glanced down and began joyful nodding. You laughed at her genuinely happy she was still acting as a little girl. It gave you an excuse to reminisce on your old life. 

To be young again…surrounded by that blue mist, like mist on the mountains that clears slowly to reveal the terrifying, beautiful valley you must enter to become grown-up… you were eighteen too, when you got married. Back then, you had your entire life ahead of you and a skip in every step you took. Now, everything is dark around you, all the noise you hear is muffled, and the beautiful valley looks dull and dead. There was a quiet moment of regret that loomed in the air, but you decided to quickly dispel it. 

-

It was late at night, and you were still aimlessly playing with the bricks, too lost in thought to carry yourself to bed. The pleasant clicks are the only sound that remains in the dark home. Your thoughts whirl with the happenings of today, a deceased man on the tracks, a crying Baela whom you have to take care of and a man whose image looked like it was plucked directly out of a book. Were you just as bad as the rest for finding him attractive? No, just as long as you don’t act on it. Except there was something in the back of your head begging for you to. No, you’re too dull to catch his attention anyway… You violently closed your book and decided to sleep these thoughts away.                            

The doorbell ringing caught your attention. You made your way down the stairs in front of the entrance hall. Aegon was let in by a servant, he was completely splattered with snow. “No, Your Excellency. He's just gone up. The Princess retired early. Is there a message you wish for me to deliver?” One of your brother’s servants asked him. 

He glanced up at the top of the stairs and noticed you standing there. For a moment your eyes locked and nothing was said. Everything around you melted away and it was only you gazing at each other. 

As Aegon looked up at the top of the staircase, he saw you standing there, illuminated by the silver light of the full moon. Your hair was gently rustling in the cool night breeze, and he couldn't help but feel a shiver run down his spine. You were beautiful, and there was an air of mystery about you that made him want to know more.

You stood there with a grace that took his breath away. Your figure was draped in a flowing gown that seemed to shine in the moonlight, and the sight of you took his breath away. As he approached, he couldn't help but feel his heart racing faster with every step he took.

There was something about you that made him feel like he had known you for his entire life, even though they had just met. And as he looked into your eyes, he saw a spark that ignited his heart. He wanted to speak to you, to get to know you better.

Aegon felt himself lost in the moment, captured by the enchantment of the moon and the beauty of your presence. He knew that this feeling he had was something special. And with a deep sense of longing, he realized that he had fallen in love with you.

He was haunting you like a ghost. His very existence was temptation into sin, and you were no sinner. Aegon opened his mouth to speak but you quickly turned and ran up the stairs. His lightened eyes turned dark, “no, I don’t have a message.” 

-

As you looked at herself in the mirror, you felt a sense of disappointment wash over. The long black gown you had painstakingly chosen for the ball now looked drab and frumpy. Your hair, which you had styled into an elegant updo, seemed flat and lifeless. Even your makeup, which you had meticulously applied to highlight your best features, failed to hide the dark circles around your eyes.

But it wasn't just your appearance that made you hesitate. The thought of being in a crowded ballroom, surrounded by younger and more vibrant people, filled you with dread. You didn't feel like dancing or socializing, and the idea of making small talk with strangers for hours on end made you feel exhausted.

Despite your doubts, however, a part of you still longed for a touch of glamour and romance. You remembered how much you had enjoyed attending balls in your youth, twirling around the dance floor in a cloud of taffeta and lace. Maybe tonight, you told yourself, you could recapture some of that magic, just for a little while.

With a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and picked up your clutch. You knew the night ahead wouldn't be easy, but perhaps it would be worth it, if only to remind yourself that you still had a spark of youth inside.

Once you arrived you realized how gilded an affair it was. Each guest was welcomed by a hostess and dancing had quickly started, a waltz. You stood at the corner of the room observing the people dancing and chatting… people watching was an interesting hobby. Thinking of how other people had their own lives, experiences, thoughts, and dramas eased your own suffering. 

Rhaena entered last to make a big show of her arrival. For a moment the crowd ceased and watched her float down the stairs. She was a proper lady, it seemed everything had come together for her. Her hair, her skin, her dress, and her moment. She was practically radiating happiness so you couldn’t help but smile and nod for encouragement.

You continued surveying the room, casually scanning the crowd for any sign of the man you were seeking, with his striking silver hair and enigmatic gaze. Your demeanor was cool and detached, as if you were indifferent to his presence, but inwardly your heart raced with anticipation. As you searched, your thoughts drifted, pondering the possibility of love at first sight. Despite your brief encounters, Aegon had left an indelible impression on you, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were meant to be together… You were delusional and married, you told yourself. He was Rhaena’s and tonight was for her. 

“He’s here somewhere.” Jacaerys voice pulled you out of your daze. “Who is here?” He chuckled before raising his glass to his mouth, “Aegon, of course.” You scoffed, “his whereabouts matter not to me.” 

“They obviously matter to Rhaena.” He hummed by your side and watched her skip towards you both. Rhaena approached with a wide smile plastered on her face. “How are you, Jace?” He proudly stated, “Thanks to —, I am a changed man. Would you like to dance?” As he smirked, her face fell flat. “No! Ask your sister.” 

“I don’t… really…” Before you could finish your sentence, you noticed Aegon approaching. Your heart began to race, and the room slowly closed in on you. No! This was Rhaena’s lover not yours. “Come on then, little brother!” You snatched Jacaerys’s arm and twirled him onto the floor. 

Right as Aegon was about to bow you were whisked away from him once more. He doesn’t notice Rhaena staring at him like he is the king of Russia either. His eyes follow you all the way to the middle of the floor. “W-would you like to dance?” His attention is still on you as he answers, “Of course” With a fake smile on his face he takes Rhaena onto the floor and into the waltz.  

The entire waltz your eyes kept meeting with his. You could not escape him no matter how hard you tried. You successfully managed to avoid changing partners and dragging your brother along against his will. At last, you can no longer see him, so you relinquish Jace from your grasp and move out of the crowds. 

The night does not get easier for you. Your eyes peer up to the balcony where Aegon has escaped. You had hoped he wouldn’t catch you staring but it seemed he was already staring first. You turn and go towards the bar where Jacaerys has been talking to hostesses and further dishonoring his family, most likely. You gaze up at the balcony once more, but Aegon was not there. 

You look for him among the dancers until a voice from your side startles you. “Dance with me.” He demanded, Aegon didn’t have the restraint to pretend to be asking. Your surprise at his behest was not easily hidden. “I am not used to being spoken to like that by a man I met once at a railway station.” He let out a sigh, “I dare say, if you do not dance with me then I’m leaving and going to bed early.” You ponder for a moment, this is Rhaena’s crush, this is her night, this is her moment… “I’ll dance with you for Rhaena’s sake.” 

Rhaena was watching the crowd like a hawk waiting for Aegon to emerge. Until she saw it and was completely taken aback. You two were hand in hand waltzing across the floor. You said something and he laughed, he said something, and you covered your mouth to smile. You were blossoming in front of her eyes… He twirled you and you came smiling into his arms. There was no way this was happening… 

The room around you was elegantly decorated with soft, warm lighting that cast a gentle glow over everything. The sound of a faint orchestra playing waltz music filled the air, adding to the magic of the moment. The conversation between you two flowed perfectly as if you had known him all your life. 

As Aegon and you danced, your eyes were locked intently onto each other, and it would feel as though you were the only two people in the room. All of your surroundings melted away, leaving only you two standing in a quiet, intimate bubble. The sensation was both exhilarating and calming at the same time, like you were soaring above the world and yet completely grounded in the moment.

As you moved around the room, you felt completely at ease in Aegon's arms, as if you had been dancing together for years. You were smiling openly, feeling completely vulnerable and yet entirely safe with him. It was like a moment of complete surrender, where you allowed yourself to be swept away by the music, the moment, and the man holding you.

There was no need for words - no need for anything but the music and the twirl of your bodies as you moved together. It was simply a moment of pure joy and connection, where everything else faded away or frozen in time and nothing mattered except the two of you dancing in perfect harmony.

One of the hosts announced the time to switch partners and so you did unwillingly. Your eyes trailed back to him as he did yours. Whatever drunken trance you were in came to a halt when you looked at Rhaena. She was staring at you confusingly along with several other members of court completely sobering you up. As the partners switched again you felt panic set in and your breath became heavy. 

You ruined it, you ruined Rhaena’s night. The walls in the room started to close in on you, slowly suffocating you. Everything that left you in a daze now was making you panic. It felt as if you were drowning in a sea of people, noise, and lights. Your head began to spin and an ache that wouldn’t go away beat at your skull. What would your husband say? What if he found out you were enjoying time with another man? What did all the people of the court think? 

Your hands began to tremble as your partner spun you to another person. Your heart palpated to the best of the music. More eyes were on you, furrowed brows and questioning gazes blocking your vision. You forcefully broke free of the grasp your partner had on you and took off towards the exit. 

The cool air from the snow surrounded your body and took away its heat. The quiet sounds of the wind light blowing eased the intense beating of your heart. A few deep breaths pulled you out of your head and back into the moment… It was time to go home.

Except the man that haunts you wasn’t letting you go that easily. You glanced behind you at the sound of the door being shut. Good gods, there was no escape for you. His good eye was plastered with worry and his other had a subtle sheen to it. “Are you alright? Did something happen?” He took three steps towards you until stood right in front of you. The skirt of your dress touching his legs. “N… No, I just needed air.” 

One more step forward and your bodies were nearly pressed against each other. Your eyes widened and the racing of heart began again. Although this time it was not out of sheer panic. “I do not wish to see you so distressed after being with me.” You stepped forward and grabbed him by the wrists. Your thumb gently rubbing his hands, “No! Not you at all!” You spoke a little too loudly eliciting a smile from him. Your eyes trailed down to your shoes, “My apologies. I just meant my time with you was the opposite of distressing.” 

A finger to your chin turned your gaze back up to him. Your gut twisted around itself trying to keep your nerves at bay. “I enjoyed it too.” 

As you stood in the dimly lit balcony, the air electric with anticipation, your eyes locked in a silent conversation of mutual desire. Aegon took one step closer, inhaling deeply the scent of your jasmine perfume mixed with your natural perfume. Your nervousness was palpable as he gently reached out to lift a strand of your hair running down her face. With a slight smile, “your hands are gentler than I imagined.” 

As his lips drew closer, your breaths quickened, hot and labored. “Only to those I desire.” The world around you once again melted away while you were in his arms. Your eyes fluttered closed as your lips finally met, tentatively at first, then with an urgency that surprised you both. The touch of his mouth sent a shiver down your spine as you leaned into each other, deepening the kiss. Time seemed to stand still for those few precious, unforgettable moments, each touch and sensation seared into your memories forever.

Until you heard a gasp and turned to see the look of betrayal and disgust on Rhaena’s face. Accompanied by a supremely amused grin on your brother's face. It was as if he was saying ‘Good job! You’re just as bad as the rest of us.’

You didn’t say any goodbyes. You quite literally ran off with Jacaerys right behind you.  It was your greatest flaw; you ran when faced with conflict. Once he caught up to you, he chose to spend the night laughing and reveling in your mistake that was just as bad as his own.

 Though he did his best to reassure you. “It was nothing but girlish affections that weren’t reciprocated, she’ll be over it in a moon.” This was quickly followed by, “it is no wonder you seek out affections from dashing officers considering your husband is a dull cunt who doesn’t fuck you.” That gained him a slap which he quickly recovered from. “I'm just saying dear sister, unlike many you have more reason than most to make a little lapse in judgment. Do not fret over it anymore. I'll handle this like you handled me.” 

“You’re a horrible influence. This is precisely why Luke and Joffrey are no longer allowed to visit without mother.” In the eyes of many you had dishonored your husband and yourself… In the eyes of many you were a bad friend, sister-in-law, wife, daughter and mother. It was too embarrassing to stay here any longer. So, you did what you did best and ran away. 

-

The train carriage was dimly lit by a small lap you were using for “reading.” Your mind was unable to take in any word you read. You flipped the page back over and let out a sigh trying to focus. 

Your gaze moved to the window, a sudden chill creeping down your spine. You could not see the outside, only the betrayed face of Rhaena. The guilt was slowly eating you alive leaving no room for forgiveness. Why did you do that? A question you had repeatedly asked yourself and the answer your heart gave was not good enough. 

You did it because it felt good. You did it because you felt like yourself again. You did it because he was enjoyable to be around. You did it because you liked him. Your heart proved itself to be selfish and inconsiderate. It wasn’t right but it didn’t feel wrong until the end… Your emotional turmoil could no longer be chalked up to your “mental ailments”. It was just you this time, only — digging herself an early grave.   

The train clanked to a halt at a little station where you are to change cars. Everyone began to emerge from the carriage and into the fresh, cold air of Moscow. The wind blew snowflakes on your skin reminding you that you’re almost home. Here and there, people are talking, smoking and laughing and you feel a little better. 

Peace was obviously not something you could hold onto as a man in a greatcoat and military cap emerged from the gloom. Your breath hitched in your throat as he saluted you. With a genuine grin, “Can I be of service to you?” You breathlessly replied, “Aegon? I didn’t know you were… Why are you leaving?” 

“You know why. I have to be where you are.” The boldness of this man perplexed you. Your shock turned to fake anger, “This is wrong. If you're a good man, forget everything that happened, as I will.” He stepped closer, “I'll never forget a single thing about you, not a word, not a gesture—” You quickly spun on your heels before any more mistakes could be made. “Please behave.” You quickly ran into the train car and locked yourself in a carriage; alone.

-

You didn’t sleep well that night. Your thoughts were too focused on the man in a few carriages away from you. As the train pulled into the icy St. Petersburg train station, you peered out your window, anxiously scanning the platform for any sign of your husband Aemond. The snow was falling in thick flakes, muffling the sounds of the bustling station and adding an eerie hush to the air. As the train came to a halt, you scrambled to gather your belongings, your heart pounding with anticipation and a creeping sense of unease.

Stepping off the train, the frigid air hit you like a wave, and you shivered despite your heavy coat and scarf. Your eyes scanned the crowded platform, searching for Aemond’s familiar face amidst the throngs of people. Suddenly, you spotted him, standing stoically among the bustling crowd. Relief washed over you, but as you made your way towards him, an unfamiliar feeling of disquiet grew in the pit of your stomach.

As you drew nearer to him, you tried to push the feeling aside and embrace the warmth of his arms. But as you stood there in the chill of the St. Petersburg train station, your mind couldn’t help but wonder what other anxieties may lie ahead. “How is Jaehaerys?” You pulled away from him. He lightly chuckled to himself, “oh? is that all I get? Yes, he's quite well.”

“Brother.” As you embrace your husband, feeling safe and content in his arms, you suddenly hear a familiar voice coming from behind. It's the voice of the man you kissed, and it catches you off guard, sending a wave of anxiety and nervousness through your body. “Aegon. What are you doing here?” 

You try to maintain composure and behave as normally as possible, forcing yourself not to turn around and face him. Instead, you cling tightly to your husband's side, relying on his steady presence to keep you grounded. “My station has recently been moved. I’ll be staying here for a while.” 

“Hmm.” As you stand there, your mind racing with the possibilities and implications of the situation, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You know that you need to act carefully and avoid any suspicious behavior that might give away your secret. “Did you have a good journey Madame?” 

Despite the fear and discomfort that is coursing through your veins, you take deep, calming breaths and keep your gaze fixed on Aegon. “Yes, quite comfortable, officer.” Aemond tensed as he stared in his brother's eyes. “I have to get back to the committee… it was good to see you.” 

He turned to walk you back in the direction of your home and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “The pleasure was all mine, brother!” His grip on your hand tightened and you swore you saw his jaw clench. 

You glanced back one more time to see a grin you could only describe as mischievous gracing his features. He spoke no words, but his body told a thousand. Aegon would not behave so long as he was in St. Petersburg. 

[miametropolis]

My condolences for the containment breach I get how having thousands of ppl say the same joke over and over in the notes of your genuine analysis post can get annoying 😭 😭😭😭 I’m extremely down to hear more about the differences between the ninth and tenth doctors if you have any other insights you want to share though!!! I’ve been turning your post over and over in my brain like a rotisserie chicken ever since I read it it’s so good

omg thank you for your condolences...it really is the containment breach of all time...let me think!! I have a MAJOR tenth doctor video essay I may or may not make so here are the cliff notes:

-To begin. Anne Carson wrote that to live beyond the end of your myth is a perilous thing.

-in many ways, the 10th Doctor is cursed from his inception b/c he is born at the end of the Doctor and Rose's romantic arc (from a certain point of view) AND YET he is born sheerly out of love for her / to love her

-(we all know the fanon--or is it canon?--idea that Ten's face was subconciously selected to be one that Rose would like, and he's gone for her from the beginning...hello, The Christmas Invasion.)

-all that said, by the time The Parting of the Ways occurs, Rose and Nine have completed a full narrative arc:

-Nine whisked Rose away from the life of boredom and sheltered drudgery she experienced on the estate; she brought life back into the eyes of a hardened war veteran/The Last of the Time Lords

-more importantly, they complete a kind of mutualistic ultimate sacrifice (in a Shakesperian sense?) wherein Rose 'becomes' the Doctor by absorbing the literal heart of the TARDIS (we don't have time to get into that) and erasing the Daleks into dust, finishing the last of the Time War AND saving the Doctor's life

-he immediately returns the favor, absorbing the energy that's destroying her with a kiss (let it be known--the ONLY kiss between the Doctor and Rose Tyler proper--neither Tentoo or Cassandra really count imo), returning her to humanity, life, and safety

-all that said, Nine dies both saving AND being saved by Rose in a kind of unrivaled (?) parity between Doctor and companion. it's perfect synthesis.

-THEN 10 is born. uh-oh.

It is here that I would like to quote Michael Kinnucan's fabulous essay 'The Gods Show Up' on Greek tragedies:

The tragic hero is complete. You can call him unhappy (miserable, utterly broken) even before he is dead. For an instant he is something like divine. And then he dies, because there’s nothing left to do. The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking, someone whose face is a mask.

I think one of the most fascinating 10 v. 9 moments is that one scene that got cut where Rose says "I miss him." and the Doctor replies "Me too."

As many people in the notes of that original post point out (god help me) 10 is ALSO born IMMEDIATELY into heartbreak--whatever vestigal version of Nine lives inside him died with the despair of losing Rose

-TEN is the man that went sauntering away. perhaps that's part of why Ten is so terrified of/resentful towards regeneration. I think he's lived precisely the worst cost of it.

-The notion of 'talking after death' and 'wearing a face that's a mask' is a existentialist take on regeneration itself--ten EPITOMIZES this tragic hero archetype, esp. after Doomsday (literally! Doomsday!!)

-during his life, I wonder if Nine already considers himself lost in a sense? He's lived past the Time War, past the destruction of everything, and he's also the first NuWho Doctor. HIS ability to indulge in love (even in mortality, given his short lifespan) is different.

-TEN on the other hand has that INCREDIBLY frightening (for him) confrontation with Sarah Jane in School Reunion--knitting him back into canon continuum of Doctor Who, stitching him to the myth of The Doctor that has to live on and on and on in perpetuity--and seems VERY haunted by (im)mortality

-How much time does Ten spend running from Jack? A human being who CAN follow him to the end of time? Ten can't decide if he wants to be mortal or immortal, human or Time Lord. Think of the way he acts with Martha, with Wilf, with Donna. He is totally frozen inside of the space of his seasons. He has time paralysis (fatal, for a Time Lord)

-he is the first doctor that we see reallllly try to stave off regeneration

-That's why there's a certain frantic escapism to his adventures with Rose in S2--he knows, more than she does, that they are hurtling toward's disaster.

-he can't love Rose in a consumate way, even if he wanted to (he wants to) b/c he's trapped inside of his myth. he's like sisyphus. or that guy getting his liver ripped out by the eagle. Nine and Rose are lines that can cross. Ten and Rose are parallel lines. if they touch, the universe dissolves. hence why the narrative/God/Russel T. Davies had to lock her away in another universe

anways!

Ten once canonically carved a statue of Rose by hand with every inch of her body absolutely perfect, from memory, and I think that's crazy