#im terrible at this... but i dont rlly feel like keep writing it when i feel like no one waits for it so. its only dui and oiptto atm. mayb

[souvenir116]

would you guys hate me if i say that i have... another fic idea while having 4 wips...

[starvity]

hi! i love your writing, im so shocked to find someone with the same ults as me ^ i was hoping you could maybe write a protective gunwook scenario? the idea of him always thinking he needs to protect you from others (even when he is a little scared himself,) is rlly heart wrenching.

like !;!!,!,! imagine him pulling you behind him slightly with a serious voice but you can feel him shaking a bit. 🥹 hes too precious rlly we dont deserve him.

— ☆ follow your steps

gn!reader x zb1 gunwook

genre: angst, student!au, fluff?, gunwook and you as the popular class presidents // warnings: bullying, blood, violence, jealousy

author’s note: i was originally going for a happy ending because angst makes me feel so bad but no i like to make us (yes, myself included...) suffer today :D (you'll be fine) also omg ult twins!!!! you’ve got insane taste btw hehe <3 (★ω★)/ [requested♡]

gunwook and you were two of the most popular students in the entire school. you two being the two class presidents, you can often be seen together to work on projects or just share ideas on future plans to improve your lifestyle. it had started with a pure academic motive. meeting up after classes at the library to talk about the recent complains from the students and how you could find a solution to those. after a few weeks though, you found it less and less of a burden to stay late at school and, if you dare to say, you were excited to do your duty as a model student simply and solely to spend some time with gunwook.

and the other students were quick to catch up that maybe you two had become much closer than expected and let's say people were not very happy about it. you were aware of how popular you were just by counting how many love letters would be squished in your locker on valentine's day and how many students would wait for gunwook to clean the classroom until sometimes 5 or 6 to hand them a cheap snack and hearing a few words from him, a simple hello and thank you. and you hated how that popularity made all your relationships feel fake and forced. but when you were with gunwook, everything felt so light and casual. for the very first time, you felt like you didn't need to keep a facade and felt like you could finally be yourself.

gunwook was already waiting for you at the quiet and empty library as he had finished his classes earlier than you. he took the chance to grab a drink for both of you, thinking that it could maybe cheer you up after this long day. gunwook noticed that you still hadn't arrived after 20 minutes and assumed that you were probably talking to your teacher or helping your friends with their assignments like you usually do. therefore, he starts working, his glasses resting on the tip of his nose, almost sliding off. his chin was placed on the palm of his hand, his index occasionally taping his upper lip and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. almost 45 minutes since your class ended and you still were nowhere to be seen. the boy starts to get worried and he goes looking for you, considering that a walk around the school would also empty his mind a bit.

"i already told you we are just friends, nothing else" you state firmly, glaring at the group of students circling you. the girl in front of you, who seemed to be the "leader" of the crowd steps on your foot, lasers shooting through her eyes. you wince in pain but keep your composure and replies calmly "have you maybe considered that your terrible attitude might be the reason gunwook doesn't want to have anything to do with you, with all of you guys? he wouldn't even befriend and even less date any of you guys." you suddenly feel a boy grab your hair from your right while another person twists your arm from your left. despite the pain you keep your head up, smirking at her while some blood from the punches received earlier was staining your lips "and what if we were more than that?" her eyes turn dark and you know you're about to receive either a slap or a punch, or worse, in the next 5 seconds.

but those 5 seconds were enough for gunwook to find you and quickly stand between you two. he takes a glance at you from over his shoulder and his heart aches seeing the state they left you in. he orders them to leave you alone with a shaky voice but the only response is a couple of chuckles. all of a sudden, the crowd takes a few steps ahead, slowly closing the gap between you. gunwook takes your hand in his, he was trembling and he could barely murmur a sorry with the tears building in his eyes. and the boy had never felt so much shame and disappointment in himself before this moment when he understood that he won't be able to protect you this time.

[luveline]

hi jade this is so very random but i justw anted you to know that i appreciate you a lot :< it must be rlly overwhelming to have such a large follower base especially when they start making very rude demands but you remain calm amidst it all and i admire that sm 😭 beyond the quality of your work i truly admire how it’s like you never tire of writing!!! u have such fresh ideas and i love seeing when you add a new character to your list even tho i have no idea who they are… sorry im just rambling at this point but i really truly do adore you and you’ve made such an impact on my life solely from your writing and kindness

ik this probably means Nothing when you receive so many kind words from your followers in a day but still i feel it had to be said… have a great day!!!

firstly I just wanna say that it doesn't mean nothing, it means everything! The shine of a compliment literally never fades and I'm so fucking lucky to be in this position and to recieve such kindness, please be assured that it means a lot to me every single time!

it was overwhelming at first, I mean it gets more overwhelming every day but in a different way? I had such a massive rush of new people last summer that i didn't know what to do and didn't know how to cope with demands being made of me nor what to do with so much positive attention! Things are much easier now because while the insane and frankly amazing (in the fullest sense of the word, I am literally amazed) support remains, I think there's been a big decrease in people trying to police me and also negatives in general. I still get hate and stuff but it gets easier to deal with because you learn how how sort it into credible criticism versus bait versus personal pref framed as something you've done wrong, if that makes sense?

I really do love writing and getting better and seeing the difference, plus I'm fortunate to have endless possibilities at my fingertips. I have "such fresh ideas"??!! I could lit kiss you that's so nice and super nice to hear😭😭😭😭 I really love getting to do this and knowing there's someone on the other side who's going to be reading what I've made and hopefully enjoy it! Plus it's an escape for me that I treasure because I'm not always very well and I don't talk about it too much here, but the impact that your kindness and the kindness of my other readers has made on my life is far from small. I can be having such a terrible terrible day and then someone tells me they liked reading a drabble I posted and I feel better because I feel like I've been able to do something for someone else !!

Im really sorry I think I've rambled too 😭 anyhow please don't think it goes unfelt for me, I feel lucky in a way I can't explain, I really can't understand the reactions I get sometimes and even hearing you say about the quality of my work is a pleasant surprise, I feel tacky saying I dont believe it but sometimes I really don't! But I hope I can keep deserving all the love and care that's sent my way ! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[cryptidclaw]

ik this is relatively irrelevant but i am really curious on how youre going to write stumpytail! in canon, he was abused by brokenstar during his apprenticeship (of which broken was the mentor) and i always thought he stayed in shadowclan after brokenstar's exile and was loyal to them, dying from the sickness or maybe other thing like that? but that seemed to be retconned in tigerclaw's fury (or maybe it just was always like that n i just didnt notice but. i just rlly Do Not Remember him being mentioned as one tigerstar's or even brokenstar's followers in tpb at all. im even almost sure the Only scene he had in it was actually him taking part on the shadow/wind raid in thunderclan camp when they were keeping brokentail as a prisoner so?? huh???) and then he was sent to cat hell alongside his. actual. murderer. dad, clawface, and the cat who abused him when he was a teenager with no real explation as to why

sorry for sending such a long ask abt a background/filler character !! i just love him so so much n wanted to know how youre going to write him as the erins didnt rlly.. do it very well, to say the least (and not only him but the broken n tiger followers in general tbh, they were a super important part of tpb yet we got very little info on most of them. so if u want to use this ask as an opportunity to talk abt them in general too feel free to lol!)

Ough yes,,, I feel like in a lot of ways the Broken and Tiger followers are kinda like the Dark Forest trainees from later arcs...

Like they are manipulated and traumatized and I feel like a lot of them could be redeemable??

Idk how in depth im gonna get in characterizing the background characters like Stump but, I dont think Im going to send many to the DF , they are just victims of Broken, Tiger and the fucked up society that the Orders have :(

I feel like a lot of them probably just followed these guys because that's what they thought they were supposed to do and also they feared the consequences of rebelling.

Then ofc there would be the cats like Vulturemask (Blackstar) who did some really fucked up things because they were fully bought into Broken and Tiger's bs ... I like Vulture bec he did some terrible things, bit i like the idea that he is plagued with guilt for it...

The whole of Shadow and RIver are made up of traumatized and guilt ridden cats tbh (reason #1 that i am mad they didnt get more pov in arc 2)

Though I do think that River and Shadow have a pretty high amount of conservative, xenophobic cats just from their history of leaning more that way politically. Which is also why they are the most vulnerable to being taken over be evil leaders heh... But thats also why so many cats are just forced to blindly follow these evil dudes, they have no choice, bec the majority already agree with these terrible ideals

hmmm Now im just rambling about the Order's political climate :P

[m1ckeyb3rry]

hii i have returned with my ramblings on SITH like i do every chapter lol :))

omg the mention of friedrich being “scary looking” reminded me of that time u said that only the mc genuinely finds him handsome & i still have not recovered from that /pos

I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABT THAT TIME FRIEDRICH BEAT HER UP DURING TRAINING, THE MEMORIESSS

i love how much falco looks up to the mc & how this chapter kinda showed her being a mentor to him, it was so sweet <3 falco being out of breath from JOGGING is so real, like he’s just like me fr we’re both terrible at running

I CALLED IT THAT FRIEDRICH WOULD INHERIT THE JAW, ALL THE SIGNS WERE POINTING TOWARDS HIM LMFAO

the irony of colt being the first of the trio to inherit his titan & also being the first who will die. idk if u plan on diverging from the canon plot & having him live or just sticking with canon plot, but the “i’ll be the first” line rlly hits hard either way, & it’ll hit especially hard if he still dies.

now that i think abt it, the trio rlly is just the found family trope & im gobbling that shit up bro, i love them with all my heart 🫶 i feel like they’re not only soulmates, but also the “our fates are intertwined in every universe” trope as well. so even if one of them dies & the other two have to live on w/o them or two of them die & the last has to preserve their memory, all 3 of them will meet again in another lifetime. they just can’t be separated (they come in a set LMFAO). that’s my take on their relationship at least.

i hope u like my theories & takes lol. when im super invested in smth, i always like talking abt it & going in-depth bc that’s just what i like to do. even if i get some shit wrong (when theorizing or analyzing), that’s ok, bc im just having fun & enjoying smth im interested in :))

hope ur doing well & taking care of urself!! remember to hydrate & get lots of rest. and dont overwork urself (even tho that’s prolly easier said than done). <3

— 🪐

HIII I love your ramblings I always smile when I get the notifications!!

LMAOOO I would like to slightly revise that and add that friedrich isn’t really considered ugly by anyone either he just always looks 0.5 inches away from snapping so people are too busy being scared of him to think he’s handsome. Ofc the mc knows him so well that she sees past that and can appreciate him for what he is <3

HAHAHA IT WAS SO LONG AGO THEY WERE SUCH LITTLE BABIES BACK THEN!! So much has happened since then 🙁

I wanted to somewhat show Y/N being a good person again since we’ve seen so many chapters of her struggling and overcoming her faults and traumas. She’s definitely not a perfect person but she can be very kind at times and she is canonically super good with kids so I thought showing her and falco bonding and her doing something for someone other than herself would balance out the heaviness of everything post-athyae. falco is so sweet I actually love him sooo much but I was lowkey dying writing him in this chapter because he’s just so hopeless 😭 I would like to add that in the running scene Y/N is the one jogging…my man falco is SPRINTING to keep up with her 😩 up to interpretation whether it’s because “slow” for Y/N is fast for like anyone else or because falco is just really not athletically blessed.

I feel like friedrich being the jaw titan is the most obvious choice. He’s way too slippery (does that even make sense?? Idk how else to describe it) to be the armored titan and way too independent to be the colossal, he could be the cart but tbh Y/N just exemplifies the cart to me I couldn’t see anyone else inheriting it, colt being the next beast has been a thing since like the first chapters of the fic, and he just…is not a girl so I can’t imagine him as the female titan.

I won’t spoil the trio’s fates, but writing that scene knowing their futures was definitely painful. I’m trying to write and update more often so you don’t have to wait years to find out what happens to them because there is SO much planned for the future of this story. I’ve been struggling because the past two mini arcs (which were titled return to liberio and warrior’s welcome if you were wondering) have been the hardest to write so far. They’re a lot more introspective and focused on Y/N’s mental development, conflict, and recovery, so it was a lot of just “people visiting houses” with inner monologues as opposed to plot and external conflict. The next mini arc is very different though so I’m excited to get to that!! One more chapter of warrior’s welcome and then I’m finally free 😭

I ADOREEEE FOUND FAMILY!! That’s why endure and SitH are my favs, I feel like they both have their own versions of the found family tropes that make me feel so 😫 but the trio and the endure crew are definitely super different. like the endure found family is just a bunch of siblings (case in point Y/N and Jean) but the trio defies categorization. They’re in love but they’re best friends but they’re somehow more than that?? Idk their dynamic isn’t something I’ve written before but it’s definitely one of the most interesting I think!! (I’d say it’s my favorite but my favorites are endure jean and y/n, endure eren and y/n, and promise y/n and tullia, with an honorary mention to endure y/n and tullia)

I LOVE YOUR THEORIES SO MUCH!! I won’t confirm or deny if they’re right because I don’t want to spoil but I love reading them and responding to them so much. It makes me sosososo happy that you’re so invested in this random story I decided to write on a whim one day and that you’re having as much fun with it as I am. Your asks motivate me sm because with a story like SitH it can sometimes feel like I’m only writing for myself (which is good because it gives me creative freedom but sometimes demotivating as there’s no engagement)

Thank you so much and remember to take care of yourself as well!!

[juicezone]

Hi hi! Here for rambling :D Babysitter being forced to play make believe and realizing, 'ah shoot, do I regress?...' meanwhile their poor caregiver is watching in the background like 'Do I need to be concerned? I think I need to be concerned' because their game of make believe is just a very much what happens when kids play through their trauma. Anyways just been working more on my own oc's and posting stories on my blog for them and yeah take a little sneak peak of my babies :3

“What are you three doing?” Their game is cut off by a disbelieving voice, three pairs of eyes whipping up to stare at the adult who walked into the room. Cassandra stares back at them, hand on her hip and confusion written all over her face.

“Umm… playin’ house?” May says, sounding less than confident. Lawrence nods- and Tristan… Tristan is pretty sure he wants the floor to swallow him whole.

“Dear Lord… I’m not dealing with this… I can't deal with this...” Cassandra mutters under her breath, not that it helps, she’s still loud enough to be audible. “You kids will be the death of me…”

Tristan can watch in real time as the elder woman gathers herself. He joked along with the others that most of the crew enter what they call ‘mother hen mode’. He’s never been on the receiving end of it. Never realized just how soft her features turn.

“Let’s play a different game for a while, hmm? One that isn't so..." She seems to struggle to find the right words. "I just don't think it's a good idea anymore.”

And where he’s fully expecting her to turn, ask for him to maybe help carry the other regressor, clean up the toys, something, even just to leave now that she's here- instead Cassandra's face softens, humming questionably as though to say ‘now how do you fit into this…’

The problem is, he doesn’t. He doesn’t regress, doesn’t need to, doesn’t want to. He’s no caregiver either, terrible with kids that aren’t his sister. There is no reason to be here and no reason that he isn’t saying anything. No reason as to why his heart is beating erratically, no reason why he feels so exposed.

And because his brain decides to betray him further, his first instinct is to tip his head forward, hide his face behind his bangs and the stuffed animal in his lap, not helping his case at all.

“I was forced against my will to be here.” He mutters, because maybe if he could just explain-

“Of course.” Cassandra says not missing a beat. Nodding seriously in a way you might to appease a child.

It's infuriating, because it's wrong, and it makes him feel, feel... small. He doesn't know if he wants her to keep being kind or to quit acting like he's included as one of her kiddos.

okay this was long- I am sorry >///< (hides away now)

NO DONT BE SORRY I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND IM SO EXCITED TO BE SEEING MORE AND HEARING MORE ABT YOUR OCS!!!!

literally always feel free to be like tl i posted a story abt my ocs or i posted an art of my ocs like in my dms and ill zoom over to find it as soon as i see it and this honestly goes for anyone who wants to share something idk i just. i rlly genuinely love seeing ppls creations and ocs (fandom ones count too idm if idk the fandom)

OKAY BUT

ive said it b4 i think one of my fav things abt ur writing is how quick and easy it makes it to grasp the context of the story, even just from a blurb, and how you write out the emotions with descrptions that its like. idk. its so understandable and clear cut to me at least, esp that last part of Not Knowing what you want

thank you so much for sharing mayliz i love it <:)

[snow-and-saltea]

ougjjffjfjfjh got back from therapy. ill write what i learned here while its fresh

- in response to me going: "i feel like its manipulative for me to say what i feel bc then im forcing people to change"

its not manipulative to talk about your feelings, and people can themselves choose to change, i cant force them. its only manipulation when you lie about what you feel or exaggerate in order to get a desired outcome / you have expectations of what you'll get when you express your feelings in such a way

- actions have a reaction, im going down the path of least resistance now (pleasing my abusers w some actions) but the aftermath is rlly bad (i start to hate myself and feel violated, angry, and resentful) so i should carefully consider what choice i should make bc they can lead to bad things.

- being aware of the social script and changing it so that im more in control and influence over the dynamics of a situation so im not just passively being talked unto by others

- should learn how to deal w the facts of the matter, or just try to do so, and avoid being caught up in other people's emotional baiting when they're being guilt trippy or melodramatic*

*i already have the capacity to deal w the facts of the matter but i just dont Do it bc i dont feel safe to do so. but doing it is the first step to feeling safe. orz

- its okay to be" inconsistent", to change depending on the day and mood, to act upset when you're upset and act happy when you're happy. i dont have to commit to being a certain type of way

- you don't have to feel terribly victimised to protect yourself and assert your rights to feel safe comfortable and loved. you dont have to swallow discomfort and push through bc you dont even NEED to push through.

- try and say No to people, to have your boundaries, and to have a small space of time in your house where you can just have space and safety to think and be yourself in

- deal w the Facts and Only the facts of the matter, dont get caught up in emotional baits and melodrama, reorient the conversation to get back to the facts when they try to guilt trip you

- assumptions, good or bad, are still just assumptions. you can keep them in mind but when the time comes, you should deal w the conclusive facts only and not reinterpreting yourself and other people to be in a positive or negative light

[drella]

i’m lips r chapped

[normal-thoughts-official]

About the Jace hate, I do get your point and it’s valid, Jace is an ass and arrogant and Clary makes some really stupid decisions.

In the first books they were pretty stupid but I do feel there’s quite a lot of character development for the both of them. I’m talking about The Dark Artifices series and not The Mortal Instruments of course. They grow up and they become adults with an institute to run so they have a responsibility now.

Jace is less arrogant and he kinda settles down with Clary because to him there’s nobody else anymore besides Clary.

The Alec hate I do not get at all. I mean, I know he gets the stereotypical jealous part but again, in the later books he’s just a badass. The whole red scrolls of magic and lost book of the white is just Malec being BAMFS. And Alec becomes Consul which makes him so powerful and he uses the title to change the Clave for the Downworld and for all the Shadowhunters like him.

Book and show Malec are just * chefs kiss *

i mean, look, ur entitled to ur opinion and all, but i rlly dont think this is something ur gonna change my mind on, so id rather not get into that discussion tbh ���� like u wont change my mind (and thats fine, like ive said before, my opinion doesnt actually matter unless u choose to care about it and that's why i throw it around) and i probably wont change urs, so

with that being said im gonna reply to ur points anyway because i cant fucking help myself and well, it is my blog after all. i tried to not be aggressive but i do have pretty strong opinions on this topic so there's that

u dont have to read it cuz like i said i dont think we'll change each other's minds and i think we're just gonna end up upsetting each other tbh, so im putting it under the cut

idk about becoming less arrogant but to me what drives me crazy about both jace and clary is that they are selfish and self centered and i just cant stand that. and the fact that there's no one else for him but clary is pretty much an extension of that. to me their relationship is just them joining forces to become an unit and be self centered together lmao

and the fact that they're running an institute doesn't inherently change that at all. tbh even if it did, giving them an institute to run when they are only learning to be responsible for other ppl is exactly the kind of shit i hate and can't stand about the both of them and cc's writing. if they aren't responsible enough, they should never have gotten it, and the fact that they did and accepted is just more proof that they only care about themselves and are entitled and have everything handed to them on a silver platter

as for alec, he became consul because jace nominated him, so i dont see that as a point in his favor. and even in the later books he is constantly incompetent at basic things and that is used as the butt of a joke, like him being literally unable to speak in other languages because he gets too nervous and doesn't know which language is which or that whole bullshit "hero of the war coming through!" "oh it's not jace herondale, it's just some guy" or alec's own kid liking jace more than alec himself lmao. and there's more i don't remember but like... i dont think book!alec is a badass in any way shape or form, he is incompetent and keeps being carried on everyone else's shoulders and also has positions i dont think he deserves or ever did

also him using his position to help downworlders and everyone loving him for it is a white savior narrative so it's gross for entirely different reasons, and the fact that that's pretty much all he has going for him is proof that cc can only make a gay character relevant if its a result of his whiteness (or in that case shadowhunterness which is really just magical whiteness), which circles back to other anon's point about her rep being terrible

most importantly tho, even if book!alec were a badass i still would never like him or book!malec solely because of the way he treats magnus

im not even just talking about the whole "trying to take magnus' immortality away" bullshit (which in and of itself is a complete dealbreaker for book!malec for me. they could have the best relationship in the world other than that and i still would never ever ever be able to ship a couple in which one of the parts is so openly selfish and disregards the other part's consent and literal LIFE like this. idc how young alec was, he was old enough to know exactly what he was doing, and if he's too immature to respect his partner he shouldn't be in a relationship, full stop) but also... everything else. if i wanted to see a white gay man being biphobic and racist to his brown bi partner i would simply go check out the closest abusive relationship in my area. the constant jealousy slutshaming and overall immaturity is just gross and annoying and the fact that magnus puts up with that shit at all makes me sad for him, even if he's also a creep so i don't really care about him either

and like this is not a book vs show thing, it's not a competition and in most fandoms of adapted works ppl like both and merge both together. i would be perfectly capable of liking both, and tbh the only reason i even tried picking up the books at all was because i liked the show and wanted more content. i don't hate the books because i like the show, i hate the books because.... of the books igrsssfhh

[myungie]

bye bye 2020, hello 2021 !!

happy new year everyone!! there’s a lot of people i want to thank for making last year so much more bearable so i tried writing some messages for some of my dearest mutuals this year as well!! (keyword tried because i absolutely cannot put my feelings and thoughts into words. i love you all though and thank you so so so much!!!)

@angelhyunjin : angi!! i know you’re not on here anymore (actually i just found out . i ran to twt to find u as quick as i could!!) but it felt weird not?? putting you on here because you WERE a big part of my year!! i was always excited to chat with you and i rlly rlly loved (still do) seeing your art and your dance covers i can’t believe how talented at both you are!! you are really really lovely and even if it’s been a while i hope you know i still think of you and hope you’re doing well!! this year might have been hard but i hope 2021 will be much nicer to you because you definitely deserve it!! i love you!! 

@cinanamon : stephie!! i think we haven’t talked in a while until we started suddenly bonding over minho but all is well that ends well because now we are the founders of a minho cult and that’s all i could hope for in life i think! we don’t talk that much but seeing your tags in all the minho posts is always a TIME i absolutely love reading them! thank you for being there to lose it over minho, always, but also for being there in general! you are really sweet and i do love to talk to u!! i also know you are a really good writer so i hope 2021 brings you lots of inspiration to write more!! (and i’ll finally catch up on your fics too! hehe) happy new year!! 

@cocogoat : puppy !! i think we haven’t been friends for long actually and that sounds fake because that would mean there was a time i didn’t instinctively check your blog when i woke up in the morning (or the evening let’s be real)?? you are so! adorable and for what!!!!!! i really do love seeing you pop up in my phone notifs and reading your posts even if i dont have any idea what they’re saying half of the time unless it’s dgrp (i cannot believe i have a dgrp friend now. amazing i think i won) u are so funny and so cute and i’m really glad i got to know you because!! you’re such a nice friend that i! love! times can be hard but i hope 2021 is gentle with you because that is! what! you deserve! gentle pats and tight hugs! (maybe that’s why i associate ab6ix’s heaven with you it’s the gentle vibes) <3

@glossiers : miss bri i am in love w u that’s it. no i’m kidding that’s not it i have much more to say . i am in lov w u though #brillie2k21 i think. i think it’s been a surprisingly short time since we’ve actually started talking?? which is kinda crazy if u ask me because?? how the hell did i live my life without screaming BRIIIII whenever i see u on the dash like for real how . that sounds like a life so empty like. that would rlly be missing . something?? anyways u are a dear dear friend that i really really love and i’m sure you know that but i will keep saying it anyway! i’m sure i’m pretty annoying so thanks for putting up with me! and for talking to me! i feel like i’ve said it before but! you are a delight to see on the dash and i lovlovlov talking to u (and sending u pics of my cats, thank u for appreciating them). i still cannot believe u managed to convince yourself i was a hyeongjun stan though. hope i can be convincing enough to clear that up and leave no doubts in your brain this year. anyways i love you and i hope we can continue to be friends and talk even MORE this year!!!!!! happy new year ilu <3

@hwacinth : miss dia my sweet sweet floral nymph real life shirayuki and queen of urls! i am? so so so so so glad that we are friends you literally have my heart it is YOURS i can’t even try to claim it back!! you literally are shirayuki i don’t even know how to elaborate i think it’s just self-explanatory but you are just. such a sweet little sunshine!! it’s like you bring spring everywhere you go!! we could be in a middle of a metaphorical storm but when you appear the skies clear up and flowers bloom wherever you step and i cannot help but smile when i see you online!! thank you so so much for being my little ray of sunshine in these tough times! i hope to see even more of your posts this year!! don’t hesitate to live blog anything you watch in my dms if you feel like you’re posting too much (but i hope you never feel that way because you’re not . love seeing u live post it is absolutely amazing i won’t ever get tired of it)!! happy new year and i love you!! ps only 1 more hour until your birthday HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA ILUUU <3 I HOPE YOU CAN HAVE A WONDERFUL ONE!! IM SENDING YOU CAKE TELEPATHICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@hwisgf : sorinaaaa! happy new year!! we don’t talk that much but it is always nice seeing you around! you are vv sweet and i really appreciate that, thank you for taking the time to talk to me sometimes!! you are also probably my only fantasy mutual?? which is terrible on one side because i think everyone should stan sf9 but that’s besides the point . i really do love the fact that i at least have u to talk to abt sf9 if need and i LOVE seeing u in love with hwi it is absolutely amazing. i am forever grateful for all the free hwi pics days too!! <3 i hope 2021 can be a year full of happiness for you!! (also that is also besides the point but @ fnc i want an sf9 cb announcement) ILY!! (and so does hwi)

@inkigayeo : miss vivi galaxy brain happy new year!! we only started talking recently but u do have my heart already!! i hope this year treats you well and that we can get to know each other more and be friends hehe!!!! <3 (my other wish is for u to stop breaking my heart with those fake titles. please . why should san NOT come back explain yourself .)

@jeongcheols : mimi . mimi mimi mimi im literally typing this as u are listening to that ten n dj stage ok now it’s kai ok anyways . ANYWAYS i am loving your sm concert live commentary . criminal is sounding amazing taemin is insane indeed (yes i took a break before coming back to writing this) i truly don’t know what to say?? n i have to keep watching the time so that i can scream HAPPY NEW YEAR into the mic in 14 minutes. but like?? i love you?? like. like for real i don’t know what i would’ve done without you?? also it’s weird writing this for tumblr instead of just in your messages (also i can’t focus with idea playing. idea soty). and i mean. you technically know all of this but like?? i can’t believe we’ve known each other for so long but also such a short time at the same time like. what. thank you for being my bestestest friend and my soulmat i don’t think i would’ve been able to remain sane this year (and last year too honestly) if it wasn’t for you?? thank you for always listening to my incoherent rants and i’m always so sorry for spamming you while you’re asleep i know you must wake up to like 150+ messages with absolutely no connection between them and they’re all just so random i truly don’t know how you manage to not get annoyed and to just stay with me all this time i’m- getting emotional. you had a terrible year, i know it! i really do!! and while it might not be looking too bright right now, i hope the universe hears me and treats you much better in 2021 because!! you deserve so much more!! you deserve the world, really!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i would write more really but like what is there to say literally i’m just (your emoji)) i love you for real;;

@nakyngs : ele <3 happy new year!!!!!! we haven’t talked much this year but i do think of u a lot daily i hope you know that!! and i love u a lot! even if i still need to catch up on all your aus </3 i hope 2021 can be a fun and stress-free year for you!! and we should catch up sometime too!! ps i hope your fish are ok

@ncityzen : dear spring fairy!! i already sent you a new year’s message earlier today like what. 6 hours ago but! once again!! i really do hope you can leave the hard times behind in 2020 and only get the best things possible this new year!! i’m always very happy to see you appear on my dash and curious to see your life updates and your random literature-related mini-rants in the tags they are always very interesting to see!! so! hoping to see even more of that this year <3 i hope you know that i love you and i really care about you!!

@woojjongs : MISS IRI! i am screaming this very loud so hopefully u can hear me all the way in canada! okay i had to leave this one for last because i?? don’t really know how to start i’m just a pink glittery puddle with lil hearts flowing in it that is how i feel towards u right now . how does one think and how does one write down their thoughts coherently give me a second. this is going to be a mess maybe u shouldn’t read it (‘accidentally�� forgets to tag u). just know that i decided to play txt’s wishlist to write this and u might be confused by that but all u need to know is that it means i love you very much. OKAY so miss iri you are . such a wonderful pal i truly don’t know what i would’ve done without you like . it would feel so weird not seeing you around tumblr would be so so so so empty i don’t even think you can begin to imagine how empty i’d feel without you around here ksdjbskbds i absolutely adore you but we already knew that. i’m always super excited to see your gifsets and your nonsense!! be it your love for woojong or u missing lim jimin (play m.. 🔪) or your snoo brainrot or hating literally anyone on smtm or whatever else it might be i love it all!! you are so cute and adorable and talented and sweet and funny i cannot believe you also happen to be the prettiest person on earth too. how does that feel! anyways i love you so so so so so much? i keep telling you to hold back from committing crimes but i absolutely WOULD commit a crime for u i really do adore you!! i mean . how many groups did u make me stan . (ok actually i don’t think there’s that many. but STILL) i know i can be super annoying but thank u for taking the time to chat with me nonetheless!! i’m all over the place but . there’s times i come online literally just to check your blog nothing else! i hope we can continue to be friends this year too n perhaps talk more (or the same amount idk please tell me off when i’m too annoying)!! happy new year, i hope it holds wonderful things in store for u!!!!!! and we really are starting off great since victon comeback is approaching <3 (this got way too long i’m so sorry i’ll cut it off now before i write 10 pages)

@xiaocity : miss siya hello hello hello first of all i’m just so very glad that you’re back i l o v e you!!! i love seeing you around be it your gifs or your text posts which yes. i cannot properly understand half of the time but google is my best friend after all! you’re such a wonderful person and i’m just?? really glad to have you around like?? you feel kind of like a cousin i don’t always get to see but am always excited to talk to when i can? this might not make sense but. you are vvv cool and talented and funny and feel very like. reliable? i feel like i am not making any sense so like ignore me. what i’m saying is i really really like you a whole lot and i really hope we can talk even more in 2021!! happy new year, i hope it’s a wonderful one for you!!

@yunwoo : miss anna we haven’t been moots for that long and we haven’t talked much but u are vvv cute and i hope we can become (better) pals this year!! i’m looking forward to seeing u on the dash more often, hopefully!! happy new year <3

[magickedhat]

!! hello i’m going to ramble bc fox appreciates wren so much but i ALSO appreciate wren and your writing a bunch!!! wren is such a unique and wonderful character in so many ways!! they’re a bundle of energy and mischief and trouble and chaos, but they have so much depth to them as well, and your writing rlly brings them to life. they’re the fantastic sort of character that makes me laugh and smile even tho they also sometimes hurt my heart, especially learning abt their backstory and their parents, and i just agsgd cry sometimes i guess!! and you write them super well!! bc the fact they’re chaotic but still lovable and fun to interact with and learn more about is so impressive!! their mannerisms and speech patterns are rlly charming!! also, the bursts of detail and color you include in your writing, in replies and headcanons and drabbles, are amazing and i appreciate them so much. it always feels like peeking behind a curtain into this whole vibrant, magical, brilliant world you’ve created, and even in little glimpses of it, the amount of care you’ve put into its development is so clear!! i also love learning abt the circus and the other characters connected to it!!! they’re each so unique and even if some of them are Terrible they’re still so interesting to read about agdgd and the circus in general has so much charm and color and magic woven throughout it aaa,,, and your lovely art,,,,, your portrayal is just rlly wonderful okay and your writing flows so well, and i appreciate u and your creations a whole bunch!! <3 <3

LAURA IM LAYING ON THE FLOOR AND CRYING A PUDDLE THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING ABJSBJSBIDIBDIB listen to me!!!!!!!!!! back when i began writing wren and the circus like a year ago i had NO idea they'd all evolve into what the are today and a large part of it was developing everything with u okay!!!! like, a LOT of wren's character development happened thru our threads and the relationships we've built, and sure all our kids STILL have a long way to go but they would not have come this far if it weren't for how wonderful of a storyteller u are!!! all the characters and places u create feel so vivid and real with many, many layers to them, and the fact that we Still have so much to cover in terms of backstory and character development says a lot about how well thought-out the triplets are! (ofc the fact they Keep Secrets plays a huge part too but u get what i mean abkdjsj) and just!!!! wren and fox,,,,, i lov them so much, they are BY FAR the longest slow-burn i've ever written which was so so worth it, and i just adore that their relationship continues to grow organically as they learn more abt each other and figuring out how to Relationship™. i rlly dont know how to end this other than i appreciate u so so much as a partner and friend and i hope we'll continue writing together bc so far its been an absolute BLAST and ily okok thanks for listening ABKXBKABJX

[pinkykitten]

Forest pt. 1

 Castlevania 

Alucard Tepes x female! reader

Warning: cursing, violence, gore, mentions of blood

Specifics: chapter fic, romance, angst, fluff, not requested, action, adventure, race neutral reader, human reader

People: alucard tepes, monster thingy from the show

Words: 3,338

Summary: Since Alucard lives in the forest now in Dracula’s castle he meets the reader in the forest and in that moment he starts to have a liking towards her and is very bashful, blushy and romantic towards her and she is a goofball and is very silly and lighthearted. From the moment that they met all Alucard wants to do is protect the reader no matter what is takes. 

Authors Note: god alucard is so sexy and so beautiful like god dang! lol sorry im a bit of a horny nerd. anywho its rlly late where im at andddddd i cant go to sleep cuz i slept the whole day so ayyyee. anywho i was inspired idk where but i was inspired to write this bc i think alucard deserves love and someone who adores him like i do. i loved writing this tho and rlly want to write for castlevania more but this is going to be chapters idk how many yet lets just see where the wind takes us i hate planning anyways. IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS THO I AINT EVEN MAD ABOUT IT!!!!! LIKE YASSSSSSSSSS

“Alright so its been almost a month and I haven’t died. That must mean I’m doing something right.” You used a piece of wood you made into a cane to help you get up the steep hills. You were voyaging alone in the forest. You had a family that were settled more outside the town that you lived near. You were a large family and your siblings came down with a sickness. You were determined to find a cure and determined to find medicine for them. As scary as it may have seemed you needed to put on a brave face for the dangers that lay out ahead. You knew those monsters walked around and as much as that terrified you, your siblings came first. At a young age, adventure excited you and you always wanted to prove to yourself and family that you were more than capable of doing things alone. 

You saw a river down below. The water rushing past rocks made you relaxed and with a glint in your eyes you smiled. “Aha!” You looked left and right, seeing if anyone was present. “Alone with just the woods and me. I knew mother was wrong. I can very much so take care of myself.” You threw your satchel on the floor alongside with your clothes. “I smell like a pig.” You chuckled at your joke. The cool, clear water was down below as you ran to it, looking forward to the coldness and the feeling of being clean. You jumped in not knowing someone was near. 

You dunked your face laughing. “And there’s fish!” You swam behind a light blue fish. Being at awe when you saw the way the fins shone from the sun. You picked it up skillfully and carefully you set it free. Your body delicately floated. “This is the life.” Birds chirped, the wind blew like a whisper against your cheek. 

But suddenly, the rustle of the trees alarmed you. You heard the snapping of a twig. Your head snapped to the noise. Fear bubbled inside you as you thought of all the possibilities. What if it was a bear? What if it were those monsters? Your heart sped fast as you backed out of the river. Your breathing was faster. You needed to get out of here. As you got out your back hit against fur. You quickly turned around as saw a huge demon, monster, you didn’t even know what but you knew it was from Dracula’s army. Its teeth were sharp and its eyes were bright and red. It was your worst nightmare. You erupted a scream as you sprinted around it, climbing the hill to where your satchel laid. 

“Oh my God! Oh my God! I’m gonna die!” You didn’t care about your nudeness, all that mattered to you was surviving. You tried to go as fast as possible but the creature landed in front of you, stopping you from escaping. It cornered you against a huge boulder and tree. With everything you had you lifted your cane high in the air and hit the monster. It didn’t even flinch. 

“What?” Your eyes widened in horror. The creature picked you up as if you weighed nothing and threw you against a tree. You cried out in pain as your back burned and ached to an extreme level. You then noticed that a tree branch stabbed right through your shoulder. The blood dripped down your arm onto your naked skin. You felt queasy and weak. Thoughts and last words echoed through your mind. The monster was about to devour you but a flash of blonde hair came into your vision and you saw, him.

This young man was nothing you’ve ever seen before. He was stronger than the average person, throwing the monster back and forth. He punched it high in the air and then threw it against the boulder. He was incredible. Full of power. Your eyes were starting to close and your vision grew blurry as the last thing you saw were the fangs that the man displayed. 

“Mother I had this terrible dream!” Your whole body shot up. That was a terrible decision as you winced in pain. “It was not a dream.” You breathed hard as you took in your surroundings. The fire was lit making the room comfortable as you were once shivering from being wet. It looked as if you were in the kitchen of somebody's house. “Hello?” Your throat was dry. You were in a stranger’s house. You were in a stranger’s house! “Oh dear.”  You were put high onto a table. You jumped off but were still too weak. You landed hard on your knees but caught yourself with your arms. Your shoulder pounding in pain. You became dizzy. You heard footsteps nearing. “Who are you?” You tried to stand up again but slipped into the arms of a man. 

“Hold on. You are still not well.” His voice came out almost like a whisper. He picked you up and sat you back on the table. “Also, I’m the man who saved your life.”

“That was you? That was, um, pretty amazing.” You curled into yourself. You were nervous around this man. He intimidated you and made you feel shy. He was very handsome and charming. “You kicked that things as* real good.”

The man chuckled, “thank you.”

You quickly looked at your nightgown. It was too big for you as the sleeves ate your arms and the collar was off the shoulders. Your eyes shot open. You were bashful. “Did you, um, see anything?”

He looked away, “I kinda had to. Sorry. You were naked when I saved you.”

“Great. That’s great,” you inhaled clapping your hands. Suddenly you sensed a throbbing pain on your shoulder and you looked to see a blood stain on the nightgown. “Um excuse me sir. Is that supposed to happen?”

The man looked worried as he laid you back down and pulled the nightgown down enough to see your shoulder. “It does not look good. It seems with that jump you reopened the stitches.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. God, this really hurts.”

He got to work on doing your stitches again as he got his items. “Bite down on this.” He opened his mouth to show the action and you saw his teeth. 

“Agh please don’t eat me! You’re a vampire aren’t you?” You flinched away. 

The man rolled his eyes as he shoved the cloth in your mouth but before he got started on you he said, “You are right. I am a vampire.”

You spat the cloth out, “I knew it. I also would like to know your name as this may be my last moment and I would like to remember who will either save me or take my life. My name is y/n l/n.”

“The names Alucard Tepes and this is going to sting a little.” With that Alucard poured some alcohol on your wounds. (im sorry i dont know how helping ppl w medical stuff works :( 

You shifted and tried pouncing up, fighting the urge to let out a blood curdling scream. But Alucard pushed you down with his hands, shushing you gently. “I know, this hurts.” You could almost sense some love and actual concern in his voice. His brows knitted, “I promise, you are almost finished.” 

You looked deep into Alucard’s eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. This man or vampire looked unreal. He looked made up, something from stories you read as a child, like a prince. You felt something go off within you. Not knowing if it was lust or something else but a fire erupted inside your soul as Alucard’s face inched closer to yours to get to work on your shoulder. His smell was intoxicating. Almost like a musk but yet something floral, fresh, mixed in. Your heart thumped faster at the contact. 

His plump lips quivered as they looked at your state. No way did he want this innocent soul as beautiful as you looked dying on his table. He already had to deal with a lot recently. He didn’t know why or understand but he had this inclination, this feeling, that he needed to keep you alive. He just had to. 

Unable to keep the scream at bay no more you let it out. Your veins protruding from your neck as you became dizzy and once again passed out.

Your eyes opened. Your body was aching. It felt like it went through war. You inhaled as you looked around again, but this time you were hoping things were not a dream as then Alucard would be fake. Remembering his name your head whipped to the side to see Alucard holding a wash cloth stained with blood. He was sound asleep. His head resting against his arm against the table. All the medical stuff was out and about as if he were still working on you. His back was arched at a odd position. 

“He must of fallen asleep while working on me,” you whispered to yourself. His hair sprayed out on his shoulders and table. Without a second thought you touched his hair lightly and you were shocked. It felt like silk upon your fingers! His golden eye lashes kissed his cheek as he snoozed so peacefully. You felt bad leaving him to worry for you and to be sleeping in an uncomfortable place. You felt you weren’t that deserving of such treatment.

You kicked your feet out and hopped off the table. Your feet pattered against the hard floor as you walked to Alucard. You snatched him a blanket you saw nearby and draped it over his tall, lean body. You smiled seeing how elegant and graceful he looked sleeping. 

You yawned, scratching your head as you looked upon the window and noticed it was raining. Surprisingly in this vampire but also a stranger’s house the rain seemed cozy and it made you feel at peace. It was dark in his house. The trees shook from the tiny wind and rain. 

“I must leave but I should thank Alucard for helping me with my wound last night. I probably wouldn’t have last without him.” Your mind wondered back to what happened at the river. Yes, Dracula was gone according to what the towns people said but why was his army still about, his monsters? It didn’t make sense to you. But what did you know? You were just a weak human living in a mysterious world you didn’t want any part of. 

You pulled out a chair and got to writing a thank you letter to Alucard, pulling out a pen, ink and a piece of paper.

“Dear Alucard. No, too direct. How about, to a savior? Too high and mighty.” Finally you had written your letter but it sounded very awkward and you were too much of a p*ssy to give it to Alucard. “Ugh this is hopeless.” You crumpled up the paper, throwing it on the floor by the garbage. 

You thought and thought and thought until an idea popped in your mind. “I know,” you snapped. “I’ll make him breakfast. My mother always says a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” You crossed your fingers, “lets just hope this man likes human food instead of hearts and blood.” You gulped. 

You rolled your sleeves up, washed your hands and brought out the pots and pans and butter. “I’m going to make toast, eggs, bacon, beans and mushrooms.”

You spiced up the food and placed them in a skillet. The sizzle satisfying your ears. The sun started to peak through the clouds as the aroma wafted through the house. You grinned, loving to cook and make a person happy with your hard work. “I hope he likes this.” You were almost finished when Alucard coughed behind you. 

You jumped, being in the zone. “Oh hi there,” you waved awkwardly. “My apologies if I woke you.”

“Uh, no I woke myself up,” his rough voice made your knees weak as it was still laced with sleep. He stretched, cracking some knuckles, yawning as well. “What I would like to know is what are you doing?”

“Well,” you started setting up the table cutely. “I wanted to say thanks for helping me back there. I was kind of a p*ssy to be honest and like a wuss so this is just a little thanks for all the help.”

Alucard didn’t know what to say so instead he just smiled. 

“Please, sit, sit, sit,” you pointed to the seats. “Breakfast is almost ready.”

Alucard awkwardly sat. Not ever having this type of service. He looked at you as you were preparing the finishing steps of your dish. The sun cascaded around you and you were illuminated like a goddess. You were breathtaking. Alucard blushed madly. You put everything on the table. Seeing Alucard’s expression you laughed, “are you alright?”

Alucard coughed, “yes, thank you for all of this. You really didn’t need to. It all looks beautiful.” He looked at the presentation. 

You took the seat beside Alucard. You could of sat anywhere else but you sat beside him. He almost couldn’t hear what you were about to say in that moment from how hard his heart was beating.  

“No need to thank me. I think we’ve done enough thanking and now its time to dig in.” You patted his hand. 

Alucard just looked at the food and he almost felt tears at his eyes. Nobody ever cared for him like this. 

“Is it okay? If its not to your liking I totally get it. You don’t have to eat it. I don’t even know if you like this stuff. I mean who knows maybe you only eat flowers and here I am serving you bacon and eggs.” You became flustered. 

“No, no, no this is lovely its just,” he choked back a cry. “Nobody has ever done anything like this for me, ever.”

You clutched onto his hand and gave him a beautiful smile. “Then that just means you have to eat double. As much and maybe more than what your stomach can hold.” You giggled.

Alucard blushed again as he started to eat quickly. Enjoying every moment of your company and food. “The beans are delicious.”

“Well I’m glad you liked them. Its my mum’s recipe, she always makes them like this.” You then recalled why you came on this journey in the first place. “My satchel!”

“Don’t worry, its safe.”

You raised your brow, “did you take a look?”

Alucard paused, “no, I would never.” He took a bite out of his bread. Chewing on the piece silently. “Maybe just a tiny peek.”

You pouted, “Nosy. I should of locked it.”

“Why do you have all those books in your bag anyways?” Alucard crossed his legs as he took a sip of his coffee. His light orbs staring intently at you. 

Seeing the rain start to become tiny droplets of rain you thought about your family and how you missed them. This was all for them. “My siblings you see are very ill,” your hand shook with anxiety. “My village is very poor and we are limited in resources, especially medicine. We’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work. They just seem to be getting worse. I’ve been researching and trying to find an answer and supposedly, I read that there is a certain flower that only grows in a specific area that may cure the illness. In the books there is a map and that’s why I was led to that river well more like I wanted to take a bath and that’s what led me to the river. But I’ve been on this trail for a while. I’m just, scared because it all depends on me. If I can’t find this flower, if I can’t find a cure and my family dies it will be my fault. I would have killed them.” You didn’t even realize it but you were crying. 

Alucard saw you were distressed and held onto your hand. He comforted you through your anxiety. Your teary eyes looked into his and he gave you a toothy smile, “I’ll help you find it.”

“What?” You rubbed your eyes.

“I know the place you need to go. I can guide you there. Besides the outside world is very dangerous for a beautiful girl such as yourself. I can see that this means a lot to you and I want to help.”

You dropped your fork and got out of your chair. “You mean it? You aren’t joking?”

Alucard chuckled, “I promise I am speaking truth.” Alucard flung his hand out to you. 

You quickly shook on it and shouted with enthusiasm, “deal!” You jumped up and down laughing as you hugged Alucard. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. Can we please leave immediately then?”

“We can leave today.”

You danced, “yes. I’ll go change and get my things.” You brought the empty dishes to clean them as Alucard stood up with a smile on his face. 

You were something else, something different. A breath of fresh air in his depressing life. Maybe you were meant to be here. Maybe you were a sign. Either way Alucard thought that these couple of days were to be very exciting. Alucard was about to get ready when a piece of paper in the corner caught his eyes. It was crumbled. “Hmmm, what is this?” He bent down to pick it up and read the words. With just the first word to the letter his smile grew bigger and bigger. 

Alucard coughed as he raised the letter you wrote to him earlier but discarded high in the air, “Dear Alucard, to my savior. I would love for you to know that I am extremely appreciative for what you have done for me in saving my life-”

Your eyes almost popped out of your head. That letter was not supposed to be read by him especially. It was embarrassing. You dropped a plate in the sink and felt your whole world collapse. You wanted to crawl in a hole and die. 

“When I first saw you I thought you were a prince-” Alucard kept going until you couldn’t take it any longer. 

You sprinted and tried grabbing the letter out of his hand. “Alucard, give that to me. Now.”

“Oh you want this letter?” Alucard smirked. “You do sound like an obnoxious romantic whore.”

You gasped, “I do not! That was supposed to be my thank you letter and I didn’t like it and you weren’t supposed to read it. So give it back!” You jumped for it but Alucard raised it high in the air. “Alucard, give it to me.”

Alucard’s face came closer to yours as he pinned you against the table. “Why don’t you come and get it?”

You practically climbed him, snatching the letter out of his hand. “Aha!” But Alucard’s footing was off and he and you fell with a thud. 

The birds chirped lightly as Alucard laid under you and you fell on top of him, your arm bracing for the impact. Alucard held in his breath with a red blush as he looked at you so extremely close. You both held that position for what felt like forever. You eyes were wide in horror at the compromising position. 

You quickly stood up and were flustered. Forgetting where everything was. “Um, um, um. I’m going to go put my trip on so we can get ready for the clothes.” You quickly ran away. 

Alucard breathed quickly as he brushed back his long hair whispering the words. “My savior.” He noticed you were in such a panic mode that you forgot about your letter. It was left and Alucard was not going to leave or throw away evidence that someone saw him in such a good light. He loved that letter because it was from you. 

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​​

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[toindeedbe-agod]

random hcs for the deeply complex modern au i still thinj abt sometimes

neil:

hes in keatings class n hes a peer tutor for one of his lower grade classes AND in mr keatings secret club (dead poets society)

dads still forcing him into a career path n he gets so stressed trying to stay on top of all of his classes n he started emailing mr keating late at night, first it was like Teacher Approved venting but now he sends him memes at 3 am. mr keating always responds.

he n charlie got "married" in kindergarten

endlessly watches howls moving castle. he pretends that he only watches broadway bootlegs or artsy gay films but he literally watches howls moving castle in class all the time

hes on good terms with all his teachers so sometimes hes allowed to just... leave and take a nap in keatings class. keating repurposed the classroom closet to be full of soft things n a quiet space for kids because hes a good goddamn teacher

unironically still listens to be more chill

has a secret tumblr account bc his dad only lets him have a heavily monitored instagram

adores rent but pitts is rhe only one who will watch it Willingly with him anymore bc when he made them all watch it they were all so devastated. charlie didnt talk to him for 3 days

todd:

just moved here, hes neil's neighbor. charlie also lives in the neighbohood, and knox spends more time around there than his own home

his brothers the all star american boy meanwhile todd won the spelling bee in 3rd grade and gets star stickers on his creative writing assignments

has had like 3 interventions from teachers and he has to be like im really not super depressed i promise im just quiet

draws on himself a lot. hes not a spectacular artist but like... neil loves it

unfairly good at soccer but was too anxious to try out for the high school team

rlly rlly likes samurai jack. he keeps it a secret but hes absolutely obsessed

has a tik tok n most of his videos are of the dead poets its very sweet. he manages to get on the weirdest sides of tik tok tho, involving prison tik tok, serial killer tik tok, cartel tik tok, glitchcore tik tok, and one memorable time, bdsm tik tok

half his playlists r full of hozier.

shares his spotify premium with neil

that cool guy at school whos parents dont care about him so he can do whatever but unfortunate hes lame so he does nothing about it

charlie:

tik tok famous

keating lets him grade papers, and doesnt say anything when charlie fixes his friends mistakes, and once let him get away with erasing cameron's name from his paper so he had to redo the assignment

adopts freshmen

advertises parties on his snapchat

throws parties but not at his own house

horror movie fanatic.

obsessed with the sonic movie

his phone is full of selfies and really cursed memes

all his contacts have emojis

calls mr keating mom with confidence

has a massive crush on jim carrey meeks thinks its the funniest shit in the world

on a first name basis with the principals

meeks:

ppl paypal him to do their work for them

goes randonauting with pitts n sometimes charlie

little witch boy, but on the downlow

rlly into bugs

has every single streaming service but also watches more stuff online than charlie does

teaches all the boys abt queer media and teaches underclassmen or anyone who needs to know abt actual sex education despite being ace

office aide so hes rlly tight with the principals

watches a lot of bad tv from the 80s

has a terrible taste in music

eats sticks and rocks and mud

has 2 pet rats. secret rats. their names are rice and piss

says he shoplifts to look cool but has never stolen anything more than 2 dollars

has a rlly overbearing mom like he loves her but jesus christ please get a life other than watching over ur child all the time hes trying to be cool

hosts all the dead poets on holidays when he can. halloween is a blast

cant drive. none of them are very good at it but he doesnt even have a license

pitts:

so mad that thats his name

owns 4 different radios

actually in robotics. all the poets try to come to his matches, despite meeks being the only one who even vaguely understands it

2nd best driver. picks up neil if he ever gets stranded somewhere by his parents. it happens a lot.

owns a car

has been hunting a lot?? he doesnt even like it

bakes for the poets

takes cooking lessons sometimes, he likes to be self sufficient

likes to get into what all his friends r into so he can talk about it with them :) pitts is such a good guy id die for him

always packs snacks n stuff to feed to the boys throughout the day bc neil is physically incapable of eating at lunch time and the rest of them forget a lot

has a respectable amount of twitter and tik tok followers. is unaware of the significance of this. he just likes giving ppl helpful advice

gives good life tips and has high grades but hes stupid. set his hair on fire on a dare but it was mostly an accident. crashed a car into a brick wall. consistently has a burn on his hand

knox:

twitter bio definitely has "sad boy" in it

no thoughts, head empty

disaster in heelys and a cute top

LOVES tik tok

hydroflask full of pepsi

wears skirts bc fuck toxic masculinity

either shows up to school in a fit meant for the met gala or a hoodie and pants that are half on. there is no inbetween.

has tutoring after school like hes not behind in class or struggle too badly but he doesnt grasp what teachers fucking say half the time so they cover what he may have missed. good teachers. ideal world with teachers who care. jk only keating and his math teacher do it meeks helps with science

watched a livestream of a tv screen with the little blue ray video thing bouncing around for 6 hours and missed it when it hit the corner and cried about it for a day and a half

broke his wrist sophmore year in a heely related incident

has a snap score of like 30,000 idk i dont use snapchat i just know ppl who dont shut the fuck abt their snap score being like 30,000

goes thrifting a lot! barely owns fitting clothes

he n chris are bffs she taught him how to skateboard. is skateboard a verb? taught him how to skate using a skateboard

oh yeah. skater girl chris.

has a lot of anxiety about the state of the world anyways hes a vegetarian and tries to be zero waste to manage it. like he knows its corporations but it makes him feel good

plays lacrosse!

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[serialxsocial-a]

✿ ❧ pour the salt on us, dani

SalTEA

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

Alright this is something I actually have wanted to talk about before but never knew how to bring it up so here we go.

Call out posts with actual evidence, proof, and genuine terrible people doing terrible things, not some petty bullshit with no real proof besides allegations, are valid and important.

It always makes me... Hmmm. When people in their rules say they will unfollow people who ever post a call out or dont participate in call out culture and shit because... It’s important? Like I get SO MUCH call out culture tends to be... ridic. But throwing the entire thing out the window? heeesh...

Like it sucks how I’m anxious/nervous to reblog a call out post warning of a someone writing smut w minors/writing smut with minor muses in an rpc cus i dont want to loose half my following/friends and be seen as a drama instigator (which was something that was a real thing like a year or two ago - there was a call out post for someone in the rpc who has had proof of this. fortunately i think they havent been on the face of the fucking earth anymore cus i dont see them anymore.)

Like it’s important to be critical and analyze posts and make sure if it is something valid and not fabricated - but people just throwing the whole basket out the window just gives people who are actually toxic and awful to feel safe and welcomed.

Like I hate the mentality of “I don’t want to participate and hear about callout posts/drama because I want to write with whoever and not wanna worry bout them actually being a horrible person” or whatever. It’s understandable if it’s a case of “i dont wanna deal with petty drama and flimsy allegations esp cus drama makes me stressed”, I get it cus Im the same way! but so many people have the prior attitude and just are like. i dont care what you have to say even if there is proof upon proof this is rp and im gonna write with this person anyway -

Basically my tl:dr is

It’s okay to be wary and okay to not have time or care for petty drama, but when there is serious allegations with actual proof and multiple accounts it’s important to take that information and do the proper consequences for it. You don’t have to spread the post, but least block the person and if you see someone else interacting be sure to give a warning I think. Again, if it’s serious allegations such as I mentioned of child predatory behavior.

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

Okay come for me - 100 percent honesty. Yes!

I do struggle with jealousy quite a bit for... Plenty of reasons. I won’t get into my sad life story but just a lot of things in my life and how I grew up I can’t help but get jealous and anxious over things sometimes!

It’s something I’m certainly working on and it’s something I definitely do my best keeping under wraps and to myself and smothering it. I would NEVER be snippy or rude to someone JUST because I’m jealous or be smothering cus Im jealous (that is saved for my muses LMAO)

but yeah. I think everyone gets a lil jealous SOMETIMES, yk? Human nature.

My jealousy is more so always a product of me comparing myself to other people and getting sad than rlly getting mad over it. Sad girl jealousy - but as I said it’s something I’m working on and have been very better about it over time.

I will be honest, again. When I was like. High school era? My jealousy was bad. Won’t get into details but I was fucking toxic. But! I have grown and changed and ever growing too so. Yeehaw.

[kimnjss]

for part 22 !! this is long im srry ahfduhdfu

“Now laying in his lap felt like a crime. As if you were stood in self-checkout, constantly glancing over your shoulder as you scanned an expensive pair of shoes as one of those 79 cent candy bars.”

said it a couple of times, i’ll say it again. the way you write is SOOOO SOOOO good. we can feel so much and see so much which are prolly like ,,,, the most important things in writing ?? also, poor y/n. POOR POOR Y/N . she cares so so so much for miju like bruh their friendship rlly b toxic like this huh :--(

“But you can’t shake the look on Miju’s face you conjured, watching the two of you with that pouty frown of hers, arms crossed over her chest.”

the fact that this whole girl bestie crush issue is sooooo shallow but bec miju has so much issues (she needs help), y/n finds the need to constantly feel guilty ??????????? i so so so feel bad. not @ me being a miju apologist before yIKES cant believe she made our girl try to drop out of ballet ????? fucking dumbass bitch im gonna slap her so strong

“As if he’d let it go. As if he’d pick up on the slightest abnormality in your mood and just let it slip. Let you drive yourself mad with your racing thoughts and not let him in, not let him take on some of the weight. As if.”

so this is where i started crying !!! i think it’s like the nature of people to just ,,,,, idk ask when they feel something’s wrong but they dont really care enough to actually CHECK up on you ??? if that makes sense ??? i’ve had my fair share of people doing this. they’d ask but then get sidetracked and forget you were someone to worry for. this is probably why this y/n and this jimin might be my favorite. they feel so real, the emotions are so raw. i’m rlly glad our girl has jimin by her side now. he’s exactly what she needs. not just as a lover but ,,,,, as a person. yknow ??? like someone to just ground her whenever she’s so high up her mind. someone to be with her as in WITH her. i love love love that.

“No idea what’s wrong with you, but safely relieved that it’s not him. That he could help you work through whatever it is.”

i hope u know my standards for ppl is so so so high bc of ur au-s i SWEAR to god where r the fellas like this huh ???? hUUUUH ?????

“’I don’t know… I just… keep thinking about Miju.’ Jimin lets out a scoff, rolling his eyes in a really exaggerated way.”

jimin, u, me, same

“You’re really thinking about a girl while I got my hand on your ass? Is there something I should know?”

I LOVE HIM SM PLSSSS *INSERT CRYING EMOJI IM USING LAPTOP SO* I LOVE HIM I LOVE THE HUMOR I LOVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“His face softens at the sound of your words, becoming serious for you.”

i nominate loy! jimin for best boyfriend PERIOD if he doesnt win, RIGGED

“That’s a terrible idea.” The door slams behind the new voice, your body instantly lunging from Jimin’s lap to the vacant space behind him”

like everyone else, i tot this was miju too HAUFHDIUHFUDHUF

and then we came to the part where jimin was having his crisis bc he wants The Sex but our baby is just not having it. i actually really like the way you portrayed it. whenever he’ll talk about wanting to fuck, he’d always say but he understands and he respects. that’s reality baby. he’s a man of honor but obv he has his ~hormones~ and i cANT STRESS ENOUGH how much i love you for writing that !!!!! they jus feel real ok like . how do u even do this ???? HOW IS YOUR MIND CAPABLE OF WRITING THINGS LIKE THIS YOU TALENTED TALENTED BABY

  // ok now that i just reread it, i jus found out that they talked abt the ballet thing in this chap LMAOOOOO i thought it was when they were in the dance room ajidjfijoifjafiodj //

“Can’t wait to fast forward past all this shit. Feel like I haven’t seen you smile in a while.”

cried to this too. like ,,, cried VERY HARD. i turned my phone off AHAHHAHAHA this is pAINFUL . y/n’s going through so much and i jus feel feel feel so bad (also hits close to home) . i feel like im always gon think of this line now whenever i feel a small inconvenience afiudhuihdui . CANT WAIT TO FAST FORWARD PAST ALL THIS SHIT . WANNA SEE MYSELF SMILE AGAIN

“Surprised that he even cared about the difference, but he did.”

when i read this, yes, i cried HARDER . we all need a loy jimin in our lives huh ?? . he's just ,,,, It. like It . jimin loy best boy !!!! also @ yn. DESERVE !! youve always been the older sis, the good good friend, with jimin, u can rest bby. u can lay low, u can do whatever u want :--( u deserve it

“Did you just call me your girlfriend?”

AFHUDSHFJKAHDFJKSHAJKDHFJKAHFKJDSHFJ THERE WE HAVE IT FOLKS BYE

“No.” There’s an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “I’ve only been referring you like that in my head for the past month for fun,”

im having so much fun imagining a jimin in my life FOAHDSIFHIDSHOIFHIO ihy sm for making me realize how dry my love life is CAN I PLS LIVE IN THIS UNIVERSE N TRY TO FIT MYSELF IN BETWEEN THESE TWO AJAJAJAJA (no i wont yn deserves this but whatever mom i wANT HIM)

“I want you to be my girlfriend. So that I can be your boyfriend. And we can be boyfriend and girlfriend to each other, together.”

look at them go :--( cringey babies idk theyre so so so so so so so so nd i cant stress enough SO SO SO SO ADORABLE

“Go ahead. I’ll protect you.”

IM FUCKING SCREAMINGAHDHUFDHUSHIUHAFUIHDSFUI I LOVE HIM OKAY MUM I LOVE HIM CAN I PLS HAVE HIM WHERE DO I FIND (but also, IVE BEEN SAYING IT but like thank thank thank thank fuck they found each other. though y/n has kook, jimin is jus different ,,, i mean obv right but yes im just so so so so glad. y/n doesnt need to always be strong and dependent now. she can just be her and jimin loves that. SIGN ME UP UHUH UHUH

and then we have this whole talk with the moon and y/n quoting him back. i think loy yn and jimin best couple ????? I WILL FRAME THE WHOLE MOON TALK OKAY BYE ,,,,,,,, but fr thats so wholesome and i feel so honored i get to read this FOR FREE. it’s just soooo *insert that aww-ing emoji the one w big eyes* . i love them so much im willing to risk it ALL. theyre so so so so amazing. YOURE AMAZING. i LOVE IT.