#im telling yall sumn was going on he looked too good this day

[1eos]

i say this all the time but it must fuck ppl up soooo bad when they see leo for the first time doing a monster role then they see him just on a random day and realize he just looks like a vampire for no reason. like? lestat WISHES

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[theormostat-terminator]

The essey I promised about the first chapter of book 2 of TAOB

@hella1975 here you fucking go;

Firstly, I wasn't expecting it to start off pretty much where it left off with Zuko. (just a thought, not part of the actual thing, just wanted that out there) 

You can just feel from the way how he's losing hope and as he said that "in the beginning he thought he could escape" like,, first he probably thought he could take the guards and blue spirit his ass out of there, and later when he knew that wasn’t possible he probably wasn’t sure the SWT gang would come to save him, since crappy self-esteem and self-worth, but he was hoping, maybe for weeks, that the others would come save him. 

I can just imagine the first time he thought he saw Hakoda, in his sleep deprived, starved, depressed state, he was probably so happy and relieved but then when he realized it wasn’t real... that’s probably around the time he realized no one was coming to save him. That in itself just breaks my heart.

Also I just love how he just takes Zi Se under his wing immediately. How he tries to protect him is just *chef’s kiss* but then also realizes that, even though Zi Se is small and LITERALLY FIVE (i thought he was gonna be older,, like 7 or sumn) he already has had to learn how to survive in literal prison. 

That fact also kinda makes me imagine how even though Zuko is an awkward little turtleduck, he woulda tried to make it easier for Zi Se. Like, if someone died or got taken and is getting beat up, he would just sing or hum to Zi Se to help him sleep or to keep him distracted from the noises and maybe try to play a game quietly to keep him from seeing unnecessarily traumatizing things, (bodies, bad wounds, I can imagine Chan eating another dead cellmate as well *shudder*) and he would like, teach him games or sumn. Trying to give him a chance to be a kid cuz for all Zuko knows, they could be dead the next day.

AND THEN HE WENT AND MENTIONED UNCLE IROH! He better get those swords from Iroh when they meet up again!!

But whenever there’s sumn bad that happened and the people who are currently in said bad situation start talking about happy plans or sumn that was supposed to happen before shit hit the fan... it always makes me sad.

AND THE FUCKING LOTUS TILE MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM AND BAWL MY EYES OUT OML-

Them the OTHER THING that broke me; Zi Se asking Zuko to teach him how to meditate and then him thinking of Nanook and Tomkin and how hard he’s trying to block out the memories because they hurt too much im- IM IN SHAMBLES

“It was almost impressive, how quickly they’d taught Zuko to fear fire.”

THAT LINE! Because it probably took a long time to get over his fear of fire the first time he got burnt. And now he would have to relearn to now fear his own element. I’m imagining again how when he reunites with the SWT gang and meets with the Gaang how they all know him as very eager to bend fire etc. But now he refuses to use firebending unless it’s the only option and how he’d only use his swords to fight and I’m just... I break my very own heart with these headcanons and thoughts of what could happen. 

AND NOW TO THE SWT 

 I LOVE HOW HAKODA IS LIKE “BRO WTF, YALL ARE KIDS WHAT YA DOING FIGHTING A WAR THAT SHOULDN’T BE YOURS TO BEGIN WITH?!” 

Also just the shock of the “last time i saw my kids they were small and Sokka was so scrawny and katara barely could make small waves. And now they’re soldiers in this damned war.” 

Also I don’t know what I was expecting but how quick the it went from, “yeet, to the north pole” to “DAMN BA SING SE FUCKING FELL WTF-” was not it.

And I can just feel the pain Hakoda feels from being separated from his kids again so fast.

And like, I gET IT, we’re supposed to like Bato and he didn’t have a chance to be emotionally attached to Zuko. BUT WHY IS HE MAKING ME SO ANGRY LIKE AJOJLKJALFJOPWJPAOJFOIHOF. GO KILL FONG IDC BATO DON’T STOP THEM ISTFG!!!! 

And when it switched back to Zuko I was lowkey waiting for Fong to be like. “Look at this prison we have. Look how secure it is. Look how hopeless we’ve got these criminals to be.” And then they like line the prisoners in the courtyard and Zuko’s like holding Zi Se and ready to whisk him away from danger and like he’d be looking at the ground cuz they weren’t allowed to look the warden/guards in the eyes without getting beat up and he doesn’t wanna put Zi Se in danger and then he doesn’t relaize Hakoda and the others are there and when he hears his voice he’s either like “this shit is another hallucination” or whips his head up and sees them and the SWT STILL HAS TO BE LIKE COMPOSED AND NOT CAUSE A FIGHT BUT ZUKO’S RRIGHT THERE AND-  okay i’m getting carried away with what i thought was gonna happen. 

AND I KNOW IT’S SAD AND ALL BUT IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY ZUKO HAS FINALLY FINALIZED HIS THOUGHT ABOUT OZAI AND HOW shITTY HE IS YES!

AND THE THING ABOYT HOW HE USED TO SCREAM HIS THORAT RAW WHEN BEING BEAT UP/BURNED BUT NOW HE DIDn’T JSUT TELLS VOLUMES, LIKE HOW OGFTEN DID THIS HAPPEN FOR HIM TO GET USED TO IT MY POOr BABY!!!!

The whole pendant thing was so sweet, in the middle of all that, JUST SO SWEET THANK YOU.

And it makes me sad how they have to fight for food and how Zuko is mostly doing it for Zi Se... HE IS SO SWEET BUT THIS IS SO SAD!!!??!?!?!?!

anD LASTLY THE FUCKING AUTOGRAPH THING.

THat was what finally broke me and made me cry cuz like. They were lowkey fighting(not really but kinda) and then he went to buy it but never got to give it and now he’s keeping it there and I can just feel how he’s like, regretting getting mad over something so trivial and now he won’t get to give the apology autograph (i honestly have bad memory so i don’t remmember if they made up or not so Hella if you could clarify that, then yey)

And like i’m just... There’s just so many emotions.

Your writing is amazing and really makes me feel things. I missed this so much and I’m glad you’re continuing it after THREE FUCKING WEEKS!!! I hope you don’t get tired of writing it and abandon the work, that’s my big fear when it comes to long fics that are good and unfinished, that the author doesn’t want to continue it anymore. :(

But yes, this is the end of this essey, sorry it was so long and uninteresting lmao. either way, Love your work, you have an amazing talent with writing, LOVE YOU OMFG.

[shytiff]

Small Dec Wins

i cant believe its December already tf?!?!?!

1 - poli KIA today. saw a mother who cant feel the movement of their baby. the senior midwife tried to find the baby’s heart beat but not finding it. she said she hopes she were wrong. fell asleep at 3pm-ish, woke up super hungry. ate. i swear i feel like my weight when i measured it this morning was ~52, but after eating its close to 54 lol. eating banana and chocolate nextar is yummm. dalbang today is hella funny as always and suuper endearing. fell asleep after dalbang, didnt study hufttt

2 - today im at igd but joined azkia at vk for a bit to see partus. its not that im scared (maybe not consciously) but when the mom was being stitched i felt lightheaded, nausea, cold extremities, and i even had to squat multiple times because i couldnt stand. But i felt better after the partus so maybe seeing it was the cause. I did not feel scared at all honestly ._. and i’ve seen multiple partus before. i dont know why. i can literally feel my symphatetic tone giving out lmaoo. tried matcha latte with Cy matcha powder. it tasted more milky and grassy. mom thought it tasted like nori. i prever cocodeli alll the way (although Cy is cheaper). i think it also has a bit of caffeine that made me feel awake like a normal person should be. 

3 - today is vk but there’s no patient so thank god i saw sumn yesterday. did some cicil ukmppd in the morning accompanied by matcha latte. tried to order dufan tickets and i couldnt find my damn ktp...... fell asleep after worrying about said ktp

4 - matcha latte in the car, swab at lmk, went to dufan by tj with willy, had quite some funn with atikah nila willy amel pupuy. first time trying kereta misteri, quite fun. it rained after ashar so we didnt ride anything after that. turns out my ktp was at barel’s fotocopy lmaoo thankyou ara for picking it. went to solaria ancol afterwards, picked up by mom. i didnt tell her in the morning that i was going to dufan lmao. plenary @ zoom 19 pm. rapat nemo. fell asleep.

5 - went to lmk by tj to surprise clara. went back home and fell asleep. didnt rly do anything afterwards because this ragged body gets tired easily and i dont eat much recently. i can feel the difference before and after eating and there’s actual energy after eating. its not that im hungry though, but i feel less energized. felt annoyed terrible and just wanna lay in bed (this is unrelated with the less food in my system). even though i met up with friends

6 - after LOTS of sleeping i feel somehow better but not to a ‘normal’ amount. watched kimbab family videos. did power vinyasa by doogether with fianti. took a shower and ate indomie and i felt quite normal, except i slept again wtf. i thought i would have the second half of the day but nah. did self tryouts with fianti, 150 FDI questions. I got 96/150 right. huft. such a great reality check

7 - poli lansia with dokter isip, matcha latte in the afternoon rly helps me not sleeping the day away, packed up for depok

8 - poli umum with dr gita (helped doing phys exam), packed the rest of my stuff, ate some risol and matcha lattteee in the car, took swab results, picked up hazmats etc, zoom discussion with FT PKM Kalideres (dr gita) on the way, and i finally arrived at tamel. dinner is granola with vsoy. Taste like a slightly wet granola bar, nutty fiber-y vibe

9 - walked in ui with ara, managed to jog from the trees near st ui until kuburan bikun wow. i reached that point where my leg and heart were going in a steady unburdened pace and my willpower to keep going on was tested. tried the signature steak in Double U Steak by Chef Widi, while ara tried ribeye. the ribeye was more tender than the signature. but the seasoning in the signature is quite delish, salty and oily without being too much (like futago ya). read poppyland fast pass from ara’s phone omg season 1 is finally complete! went to coftof (omgggg i miss this place), it looks different now. ordered matcha latte and it tasted weirdly like a soy milk although ara doesnt feel that way. the matcha tasted weird. wont repurchase. read chainsaw man, its so entertaining, funny and deep at the same time. denji mess around and be too naive sometimes but hes lowkey hot lmaooo. aki is lovvvvve.

10 - first day at rsud budhi asih. had moesli combined with granola + vsoy for brekkie. went back to tamel at 3 pm. it rained when i got back. bought warteg lugina worth 32k. walked to sbux for tumbler day its been a while since i had their matcha latte. it tasted quite good, but not as good as i remembered (?) maybe bcs i asked for non fat milk. sbux closes at 8 pm for now hikss

11 - left tamel at about 7:10 and arrived on budhi asih at 08:54 yalll the traffic. Icu. Bought eatlah double and ate the salted egg part. Nap. ICU discussion with dr Dedi @8pm. I presented from my phone to save data hehe,,

12 - woke up at 8, eatlah brown butter for brekkie, symcard, saladstop's caesar salad for lunch (quite 'eneg' because i didnt eat the cheese evenly so the chicken and cheese were eaten last after the vegs are out. The vegetable's not that variative, and the non vegs make the salad taste delicious (albeit maybe not THAT healthy). Evening jog @UI and i realized i can get wifi sitting near the lake n library. Stared at the night sky from my room, i swear the sky seems super clear. Saw tiny fireworks in the distance

13 - ate muesli and saladstop’s banana walnut cake, symcard, bought moon chicken and saladpoint. lunch was egg salad and the wings. the original tasted so good like??? maybe i havent had msg for a while. also tried big bang, not too spicy which is nice. cicil ukmppd. put my laundry at buih barel lmaoo. try out with fianti. got 70/100

14 - breakfast was salad and leftover chicken. today was bangsal with angga armand. the geriatric patient has a loud murmur yall (and scoliosis, so much that the heart looks distorted). went to margo city to see sales, but when i think about it id rather just thrift stuff lmao. bought lugina. slept through kuliah guru besar. writing this in yellow truck coffee, that had 2 customers on the 1st floor including me. tried banana milk. yall after trying to drink less sugar the beverage tasted super sweet. my headache just goes away. sugar is magic but unhealthy whyyyyy.

15 - igd siang with indah. This body sure is frail. Did cbd with dr afifah AND rescheduled pleno. Rip mobile data i have to use for hotspot.

16 - ok today. Inserted goedel and did bagging. I bagged the patient the wrong way at first (too much). Thankfully the nurses were kind and taught us a lot :) watched some bts content. I feel like after reading househusband my tiktok page is now immensely funnier. Dalbang is also hilarious as always. Put on ginseng sheet mask (smells quite strong)

17 - bangsal. snacked on fried chicken. matcha latte starbucks (turns out its quite full here) and liqo about keeping our tongues in check

18 - arrived at icu. And then opened line. Turns out hadin's swab is positive, so agung kak iman and me have to isolate and swab. So i went back. Ordered kanayam chicken and fish and tempe. Nasi liwet tasted goood damn. Sleptt in the afternoon. Pleno at 4 pm (entered the room 4:30). Had no motivation to do anything. Azkia is getting married! Spent 20 mins formulating words to congratulate her lmaoo

19 - osce simulation, kak nanu was so kind and encouraging. Did try out solid. Lunch is fish bite pasta with melted cheese (cause i had to reach the minimum amount for promo). It got cold so its not that good (pairing it with self made mentai sauce, mixing the mayo and chili, is way much better). Jogged in ui (and searched for wifi). Approached by someone selling haraus coffee (25k), saying that some earnings will be for charity. Its basically sweet. Can barely taste the coffee.

20 - had kanayam for lunch (brekkie is almost always muesli lately). The nasi liwet tasted much better the first time. Walked to yellow truck coffee in the pouring rain. Got banana milk. Saw webinar ksk (electrolyte correction and dr nadhira talkshow). What i got from it is that, dr nadhira is a different person from the first place. Shes visionary, knows what she want and not afraid to reach it. The mindset is different. Even if i try as hard as her, her propensity to growth is different. Cicil ukmppd. Try out with fianti (got 72/100). Talked for an hour about love and marriage and engagements (there are so much of it lately)

21 - leftover kanayam for brekkie, also ate roti salman in cikini st. swab today (met kris, nessa and others). muesli for lunch. i thought my body felt a bit warm, so i decided to find sumn to eat. tried kedai abu bakar’s spaghetti brulee. its okay. maybe because its not too cheesy or meaty, mainly bechamel sauce. the one pupuy made is much tastier. finished the whole 10x20 portion in 2 eating sesh. cicil ukmppd @ bed in the evening (somehow felt refreshed enough to be able to concentrate in bed)

22 - went early to icu to put dops form. lugina for early lunch. i feel like my metabolism is faster? or my body is not so much in calorie deficit mode anymore and it got greedier lmao i used to just ignore hunger but not now, for health. starbiiies tumbler day. ordered black tea latte with non fat milk and vanilla syrup (because raspberry syrup is no more). did cbd geri ppt. 

23 - finally knew the swab result bcs kak iman asked kak farras. thankfully negative. igd with jordi. quite a few chances to do iv line, but i failed 2 times. managed to do iv injection to insert 2 drugs. saw the worst cpr ive ever seen in my life. its too slow, with maximal interruption. fish bite for lunch. wasted the rest of my day

24 - originally intended to run but i cant bring myself out of bed. packed up my stuff. picked up by mom. got the paper result of swab, got ksk from kelvyn @ capitol. can finally drink self-made matcha latte again, but it tasted horrible. i know cy matcha doesnt have that much going on, but even this is low even for them. previously i was starting to get used to the grassy smell.

25 - my lil bro remarked “maybe shes depressed because she doesnt have her chair”. fuck yall. this “depression” that im in is caused by this very place and the people. and im supposed to still muster the strength to study for ukmppd AND get my face together for solid book photoshoot. that shit is too much. this is why the money that goes to cafe, and the bike ride there is worth it for my sanity. after showering, things felt a bit better. had absolutely no will to study today. ate muesli with a bit of matcha latte.

26 - muesli for breakfast. matcha latte is lyfff ive probably said this before but it ~somehow~ makes me feel normal and not in a slump. like im a regular person. with normal moods. and not wanting to sleep all the time. i try to do ukmppd exercises but the pace is so fucking slow, bcs im distracted by get rich haha,,,. the latest potn update (64) is omgggg the mixed feelings? love? hate? anger? everything and nothing? the ~tension and passion~? im obsessed. watched a ton of bts content today and yesterday lmao.

27 - nasi kebuli for brekkie. went to flavola, im the first customer lmao. tried kopi susu coklat, tasted quite close enough to janjiw’s kopi soklat. had the same ~improved mood and concentration~ effect. tried to read ksk. bought milky banana 1L from puyo to give dajen (its his bday yesterday) (i feel prompted (?) to gift people when theyve given a present to me) (because my love lang is not gift giving at all so i barely think abt gifts lmao). talked with sum 33 ipa guys @ dajens house. yay appropriate amount of social battery charging. tryout with fianti, padi this time. got 67/100. 

28 - ate muesli with matcha latte after breakfast. cicil ukmppd. Listened to yoongi's vlive until i fell asleep lol. 2 burger and salad for dinner. omggg hansol revealed his gf. 

29 - spent half of my day tidying up the mess that is my room. figured out what to wear for solid book photoshoot with fianti, ara. matcha latte terosss. phd for dinner. 

30 - breakfast is muesli with cimory choco hazelnut. mom made matcha chocolate brownies. tryna study. slow pace terosss. read some padi materials. dalbang.

31 - bought vsoy low sugar and multigrain. moved my body a bit to youtube videos. showered. felt better. it also rained (which i love). the pleasant mood only lasted til the evening. did nothing from 7pm even though im not sleepy. cant tell when did i start to sleep

and just like that, 2020 kkeut. its sad to say i dont rly remember much remarkable things this year. other than the trip and memories with minor rotation friends. i just remember wasting my life away in my house. i guess that’s the danger of living a monotone life. sometimes you gotta invest some time to have fun, to have motivation to live on and do things. not doing this makes it difficult to live day by day. and friends. meeting friends, seeing new stuff. that helps me live. 

[nyewclear]

i said that i was gonna post bits of my bakukami fics, didn’t i! i’m gonna make good on that and post sumn i’ve been workin on for the past couple weeks (such slow progress..... i get stuck on Every Single Damn Scene). it’s a sequel/continuation of this fic right here, but i guess you could read what i got as a standalone too :^)

the working title is “can i get a kiss (and can you make it last forever),” and that’s pretty damn cute if i do say so myself

oh, and also-- this is taken from the last part that i wrote of this, so basically a random spot in the middle LOL yall will have to wait until im Done With This Damn Fic to read all the stuff in between

the school building cast a massive shadow upon the ground as they came up on it, the air cooler than it was in the sunlight. bakugou’s friends were hollering amongst themselves, play-wrestling as they walked up the concrete steps to the doors. ashido had sero in a chokehold. kirishima and kaminari were laughing so hard that they almost fell down the stairs backwards. bakugou couldn’t help but smile. just a little. it was more of a smirk.

kirishima threw open the right door with a flourish, holding it open for the four of them as they tumbled into the school. the redhead clapped a hand on bakugou’s shoulder as he walked past, earning himself a dirty frown.

“fuck is it?” bakugou muttered, shrugging kirishima’s hand off of him. kirishima followed bakugou into the hallway, the door banging shut behind them. ashido, kaminari, and sero were goofing off a little ways ahead of them, enthusiastically talking about something or other. if they were any louder, class prez was gonna come out of nowhere and berate them with those weirdass hand gestures of his.

the look kirishima gave him was almost pitying. “bakugou...” he started. bakugou held up a dismissive hand, not wanting to hear what the guy was going to say next.

“don’t even start with me.” kirishima sighed. the sun cast radiant lines of sunlight through the windows, spilling onto the floor and the wall to the left of them. the light illuminated the side of kirishima’s face, his eyes glinting like rubies. his friend bumped his shoulder against his.

“bakugou,” he said again, bakugou rolling his eyes up to the high ceiling. “you should talk to him.”

“no.”

“he wants to talk to you. he told me.” bakugou’s gaze snapped back to kirishima’s face in a fraction of an instant. he squinted at him with scrutiny, trying to decide if he wanted to believe this bit of information. kirishima stared right back at him, his face an open book of plain and honest innocence. bakugou suspected that he wasn’t lying.

“he did not,” bakugou said anyway, his mouth turning down in a familiar frown. kirishima rolled his eyes.

“yes, he did,” he established, sounding a little exasperated. “told me a couple days ago.” a couple days ago! how long had kirishima been holding out on him?

bakugou swept his gaze back to their friends in front of them. they were rounding the corner of the hallway, getting close to the classroom. “well, i don’t want to talk to him.”

“i know you do.” god, bakugou fucking hated kirishima and his damn perceptiveness. he had to work on becoming harder to read. “you can’t keep lying to yourself like this, bakubro.”

“don’t fuckin’ call me that,” he grunted, shoving his hands deep in his pants pockets. “i’m not lying to myself. i don’t want to talk to him.”

kirishima sighed dramatically, sharp teeth shining in the light when he opened his mouth. “you guys practically make out with each other with your eyes. it’s, frankly, disgusting. i don’t know how ashido and sero haven’t noticed yet. you can’t tell me that you don’t want to talk to him. every time you look at him, you make this face. like... you’ve never seen anything more beautiful in the world.”

“shut the fuck up!” bakugou snapped loudly– louder than he meant to. he glared viciously at the ground in an attempt to keep kirishima from noticing the sudden flush of his cheeks. “stop saying shit you know isn’t true, shitty hair.”

kirishima barked out a laugh at that. “stop saying shit you know isn’t true, bakugou,” he parroted, socking bakugou in the arm lightly. “at least help kaminari with his piercings later. he’d appreciate the time with you. and i know you will too.” bakugou said nothing in response and, thankfully, kirishima didn’t continue, letting bakugou wallow in what he’d said as they went down the hall and into the classroom’s open door.

[likeadrug-ff]

F O U R

L O N D Y N 

After Loryns grand opening we waited for her to come back so we could go out and celebrate but this hoe never came home. So the girls and I went to bed while mama went back to work. Kaiden ended up sleeping over but left early to check on his brother. 

---

All this week I had my head in the books studying for my exams. It was definitely crunch time. I had just got done taking my exams and I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had a good feeling about my results so I called the girls after I got in the car. I leaned the seat back and got comfortable while waiting. 

“Waddup bitch?” I could tell that was Leilani stupid ass. Laughing at her I said, “what yall doing tonight?” 

“Wait. Can we make this a group face time?” I huffed and pulled the phone away from my ear. I clicked the face time option and seconds later their faces popped up. “Yall hoes aint doin shit.” I mumbled looking at them. 

“Girl I just left the shop. Im relaxing so shut up.” Loryn replied. “Speaking of the shop, where you disappear to last week?” Waiting for her reply, she looked away smiling hard, im talking dimples hard. “Must've been with Ace huh? I seen him sneaking in.” Leilani blurted out. 

“Girl,” Loryn smacked her teeth, “he came in there talking bout he had a gift for me in the car. I know yall seen me leaving with him. Anyway, we get in the car and this nigga hands me a duffel full of stacks.” My jaw dropped. “This bitch didnt say a stack. Her ass said full of stacks!” Lolani beat me to it. “Girl get out of my head!” I teased. 

“This the good part here, he also got me this Pandora bracelet,” she lifted her arm to show us, “and a Cuban link chain. Then gon’ come out his mouth and say, dont get fucked up out here. Remember who ya man is.” We all screamed and gassed it up. “Oh shiiiiit sus! My sista got a man, my sista got a man!” The girls and I sung. The only thing Loryn could muster up was, “I guess so.” 

After we all calmed down I repeated my question from earlier. They replied with basically saying nothing. “I just got done taking my exams, and I dont feel like going to work at that bargain store.” Leilani smacked her teeth. “They gon’ fire you yo.” I shrugged. “And I wont give a fuck. Anywho, lets go out tonight? Drinks on me cause I know I aced that shit!” 

“Free drinks? Hell to da yeah!” Lolani snapped her fingers and started dancing. In high school I had this friend that made fake IDs. I asked him to make some for us and he did it with no problem. It had our pictures on it but he just changed the birthday. “Thats what Im talking bout. Well Im on my way home so get shit popping.” I hung up on them and cranked my baby up. 

When I made it home and inside, the girls had Dreezy playing throughout the house. Mama was still at work of course. I went to my room and hopped in the shower before running the flat iron through my hair. “Let me use your foundation.” Loryn came in the bathroom looking through my cabinets. “Im almost running out now.” Shes been using my shit more than me. “I’ll get you some more.” She replied and walked out with the foundation in her hand.

“Are you ladies ready?” I glanced at the clock and seen it was hitting eight thirty. I had enough time to do my hair, a nice beat and get fly as fuck. I picked up my shoes and everything else I needed before turning the light out and heading in the living room. All my sisters looked good. Right when we were about to walk out mama walked in.

“And where in the hell are yall going?” She examined our outfits and shook her head. “Where the rest of yall clothes at?” I leaned all of my weight on one leg and sighed. “Ma c’mon now.” She kissed our foreheads and said, “please be safe and look out for each other.”

“Oh yeah, can we drive the Rubicon?” Loryn was fidgeting with her hands. Mama cocked her head to the side. “And who will be driving?” They snapped their heads in my direction saying, “Londyn.” She took the keys off the wall and held them to me. “Dont wreck it!” She yelled as we rushed out the house in excitement.  

Stepping inside of the club, I drug them to the bar and ordered shots of Hennessy. “Lets get fucked up!” I asked the bartender for another round of shots and after downed them, we went to the dance floor. “Girl dont look now, but I think I see Kaiden.” My head snapped in the direction Loryn was looking in so fast. Now why would this bitch even tell me not to look?

Kaiden and I made eye contact and he gave me a good overlook. When he noticed how I was dressing he got up from the table, whispered something in his brothers ear, who I just noticed was here, and made his way to me. “Wassup ladies?” He greeted my sisters. “You single now or sumn?” I was beyond confused. 

“I mean you dressed like you aint got no man so you must be.” I didnt see anything wrong with my outfit. I thought I looked good as fuck. “Fuck wrong witchu Londyn?” I jerked my head back. “Hey to you too, yeah my exams went well today.” I fired off sarcastically. His face softened. “Damn I forgot you had to take ya exams this week.” This nigga here. 

“I already know ya smart ass passed that shit so congrats princess.” He lent down pressed his lips to mines. His hands made their way to my ass. “Lets go to the bathroom real quick.” I pushed him back a little and shook my head. “Pause. What are you doing here anyway?” I placed my hands on my hips only for Kaiden to slap them down. 

“Working.” He responded nonchalantly shrugging. “With your brother here?” I could already see him catching an attitude. “We goin’ to the bathroom or what?” I rolled my eyes. “No nigga. Buy me a drink.” He pulled his pants up a little and grabbed onto my hips. Walking back to the bar I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Lolani and Karter was looking mighty comfortable, enjoying each others company and shit. 

“You tryna be a love doctor I see.” I slid into the small space between him and the bar. I looked up at him as he ordered two Hennessy straights. “Whatchu talkin’ bout?” I gave him my best nigga please face. “Your brother and Lolani?” 

Kaiden searched around for them then suddenly stopped. “Girl mind yo business. And for two, I aint even know yall was gon’ be here.” My sister is my business. “That girl is grown believe it or not,” he handed me my drink and I gladly took a sip, “she gon’ do what she wanna do regardless. She probably aint even gon’ give his ass a chance.” 

“Why you think that?” He opened his mouth but closed it back shrugging. “Just a guess.” Mhm, you think you slick nigga. Ima just leave it alone until shes ready to tell me about Karter. Downing the rest of our drinks Kaiden wrapped his arms around my waist, swaying our bodies to the music. “I've been missing you like crazy.” He left trails of soft kisses on my neck. “Shit. I cant tell.” I fussed. “I haven't seen you this whole week.”

I poked my bottom lip out. I was really missing my man and only wanted to be under him while studying. “My fault baby. Ive been busy wit work and everythang. Niggas short on money nshit like that.” He sighed looking down at me. I applaud Kaiden for being about his money, I just wished he went about it another way. “You got all my attention.” We were in our own little world. Not giving a damn who seen us slobbering each other down at the bar. 

L E I L A N I 

Seems like I was the only bitch single out here and the dj had some nerve. Playing slow jams all night. Loryn, who was holding the keys in her purse, handed them over to me about an hour ago. This hoe was ditching us again for Ace. Said he had “plans” for them. Lolani and Londyn were in their own little worlds so I made me way outside and to the jeep. 

“Where you been hiding at lil mama?” I knew that voice like the back of my hand. “I been here, just staying lowkey.” I could feel him burning a whole through the back of my head. “Oh yeeeeah, staying lowkey after you killed my child huh?” In a swift second I was facing him. 

“Dont,” I held my hand up. “we would've ruined that kid and you know it. You was running around fucking mad hoes.” Jamal took a step towards me and I held my breath. “You aint so innocent LeiLei.” I loved when he called me that. “I never crossed you! Anything I did, was done after you. I know you think I was wrong for killing the baby but I did what was best for us.” I refused to cry. I did enough crying after I aborted my child. 

That was something I had to do on my own; without my sisters. Without their comfort. My family was against abortion but I couldn't bring that child into this world knowing I couldn't raise it. “Are you happy without me?” Truth be told I couldn't answer that. “Ive changed LeiLei. And I know Ive said that many time but I mean it this time. Let me show you.” Jamal was never the type to beg. 

I met him in middle school and from then we had this love hate relationship. But when it came time for high school we hooked up, and boy we were fucking like rabbits. Everyone thought we were dating so played along not knowing that it would end up serious. The same day I found out about being pregnant was the same day his fuck buddy came to me. Also the same day Jamal got arrested, for damn near killing her. 

She wanted to be bold and let him know what she had done, and that was the reaction he gave her in return. “Lei?” He now had his hands on my waist. I missed his touch. I quickly backed up and handed him my phone. “Put your number in and I’ll hit you up. I gotta smoke on this shit.” Without hesitation he put his number in.

When I got my phone back I proceeded on my way. My leg felt like jelly and I was too geeked when I found the truck. I got in the backseat and immediately went for the weed and woods. I cant believe this nigga just popped his ass up on me. How? Why? After all this time you decided to just show up? Now? He just gotta be shitting me man.

It only took me five minuted to roll up and I sparked it with quickness after I was done. I sat in nothing but silence and a cloud full of smoke. Mama would kill me if she knew about me smoking in here but shit, oh well.

Lolani almost made me shit bricks when she knocked on the window. I unlocked the door and opened it. “Why you just aint use ya phone stupid?” I scolded. She shrug ans slid in beside me. “Why you aint getting lit?” I lifted the wood. “I am.” After snatching it from me she questioned,”I mean in there Lei.” She bent down to unzip her heels.

“Yall bitches left me and went after some dick. Loryn is with Ace, Londyn in there swallowing Kaiden tongue and you,” I looked over at her “well shit you here now.” She hit the wood a couple of times before passing it back to me. “Karter wont really bout shit ya know? It was like a one way conversation if you asked me.” 

“You could've fooled me.” Smoke got caught in my throat and coughed hard as hell. “You sound like a man.” “Fuck you. But anyways you do know thats gonna be your brother in law?” I took another hit and passed it to her. “Kaiden and Londyn really fucking with each other. So I think you should just let that go sus.” I only wanted the best for my twin. 

“Omari has a baby on the way.” “I just seen Jamal.” We blurted at the same time. Lolani quickly put the wood out and turned her body towards me. “Where has he been?” “Your guess is as good as mine. He just popped the fuck up. Scared a bitch too.” Be both shared a laugh. “Nah but listen, he went to jail for beating up a bitch he was cheating with and now he says that he changed. I missed him. A lot.”

I felt like venting so thats what I did. “It was like, during our relationship my whole world revolved around him. I did everything I could for him and it still wasn't enough. He just had to dip into something new.” I picked at my nails. “I ended up getting pregnant but aborted it.” A single tear fell from my eye. “Lei,” 

“I never wanted to do it Lolani. I swear! I still think about how fucked up I was for killing an innocent child, but..” Lolani slid close to me and hugged me tight. “Who am I to judge Lei? Im your sister and Im far from innocent.” She kissed my forehead and sighed. “Fuck Jamal. You dont need him. Shit we dont need these niggas girl. You can always find someone better who will literally worship the ground you walk on. Trust me, I know.” 

She continued comforting me until our phones chimed. It was Londyn letting us know that she was going on home with Kaiden. “Andrews?” Without saying a word we both jumped in the front. Might as well eat before we head home. “You better air this shit out.” Lolani reminded me. 

[shytiff]

May Small Wins

1 - lazed, went to racheel’s place and put my motorbike there, went to slipi jaya with silvi devi reza to watch seobok (it was fun!!), had iftar at the yumz green sedayu. It was raining when we get back. prayed maghrib and isya in some random mosque. went back and arrived at like 8 past sumn. showered, slept like a babyy

2 - lazed, slept and woke up at like 11, went to nila’s house, practiced doing eyeliner by borrowing nila's (focallure brand), iftar at green sedayu foodcourt (originally intended to go to the yumz but it enforces actual distancing) with angkot ppl minus tik will. Arrived home at about 9-ish.

3 - magang as usual. Went to rm. Took mrt to lebak bulus. My inaco salary finally came. My head kinda hurts after tarawih. Ended up skimming over bj alex lmaooo. Did not shower today lol,,,,

4 - added dr dafsah's revision to the excel database otw to rsf. Pak nardi took a while to arrive. Left rsf early to go to the bank. I (((finally))) activated m-banking lmaooo wow the features are neat wow im not jahiliah anymore. Found this method of just let it sweat anyway during tarawih lmaoo. Preferably with long sleeves bcs somehow you feel less of the sweaty feel compared to tshirt.

5 - sampling - data entry - RM as usual. Theres no new RM. Read a goood dramione fic by bex chan even if its not complete, its okay. Im okay :"))). Iftar was soup, salad, chicken katsu and french fries. Its been 2 days that i practiced sleeping-to-rain-sound. The first night was spent as a dreamless quick sleep (its over before you knew it), but tonight i dreamed abt almira's wedding lmaoo.

6 - no sampling today!! Still went to rsf tooo go to the mall w regen lmao. Did some data entry. Went to PP by mrt. Went back by going to halte gbk and thankfully the kalideres one arrived after only waiting for 5 mins. Its surprisingly quick, compared to lebak bulus - pesakih trip. Took abt 20 mins to jelambar.

7 - no sampling today too. Dr vera gave us lebaran cookies! Did gcp for bu suryati a5. Went to rm, finally finished the available rm. Went home early. Can finally relax since its the weekend.

8 - literally laid in bed til my body hurts. Rly want to read sumn but dunno what. Finally decided to read momoiro heaven. And rere hello. And after iftar i read lack of love. And just like tht, my saturday was gone. Cant bring myself to do things

9 - its another day of lazying (or self sabotaging, cant tell). Read spy family and its effin hilarious. Wasted my sunday. Cant bring myself to even move and i just laid in bed all day.

10 - last day of work in the weeekend lmao. Felt better than being in AR, but still not that much productivity. Went to RM. Phone call w fianti along the way to plan food in almira's bridal shower. Went back at 12-ish. Picked up my dress from risma busana. Walked to and fro halte kebon jeruk. Prayed zuhur close to ashar in kfc's mushola. Felt better after ~8k steps. Had homelab's green tea mixed with vsoy. It honestly made me feel better. Matcha, or caffeine, sure is amazing. At least i had a sense of normalcy before losing all the will to self-care

11 - consumed internet entertainment u til i was sick and tired of it. Watched a lot of cut videos. Granny came and stayed over. So i slept upstairs

12 - same as 11 but upstairs. More relatives came near iftar time so i excused myself to shower. Slept in mom n dads room at like 12-ish. Watched hp goblet of fire since keisha and karins newest obsession was draco. We squealed together over liking enemies to lovers trope haha,,,,

13 - Somehow all of dad's jakarta relatives came for lebaran. the last time i checked, there were some bridges being burned. prayed eid at home. watched perempuan tanah jahanam (which was surprisingly not scary). ate. napped. talked about personal things w keisha and karin. i cant believe the time has finally come where we talk about this kinda stuff. watched you’re next (it barely has any plot, just gore). they went back at about 8 pm and i just sleptttt yall lmao i didnt shower today. disgusting, i know

14 - cam barely get out of bed. Managed to shower at zuhur time. Watched dalbang and laughed like crazy bcs its just that funny. Read fanfics. Tiktok. Ate once and had greenfield yogurt at the evening. Fell asleep. Woke up at 1 and snacked on 1 pack of oat krunch

15 - run bts. Originally planned to go to flavola but it was still closed, so i went to dm's dunkin. Ordered orange juice and oeanut choco donut but somehow the price wasnt package price hhh. Turns out my clires account was somehow banned. So i contacted the admin. Instead of doing dr dafsah's excel i ended up taking off the makara sticker from my laptop. Bought some stuff for almira's bridal shower. Bought arirang at hari2 (its funny bcs yesterday i was seeing online marketplace, planning to buy it, but turns out hari2 the magical place had buy 2 get +1 deal for arirang.

16 - run bts. Managed to move my body a bit. Did 20 squats (ill elaborate on this later). That improved my mood. Tidied up some of my stuff. Saw the paper bag of random memorabilias by friends.

17 - went to rsf by tj. left kalideres 06:45 and arrived at RSF 8:15. sampling. went to RM (still no new ones). picked up by mom. went to salemba for almira’s bridal shower. originally planned to get padang at citra minang behind BK but it was closed. so we drove around looking for open ones. ended up buying it in a small (but crowded) padang place near a big padang restaurant lmao. was the first one to arrive at acacia. checked in, pulled the bed near the wall. showered. its hilarious sometimes with a bit more serious discussion anjayy. went home w febby who drove and clara

18 - went to mcd to get lunch (since everyone’s fasting) and tried to muster the will to do something. i didnt manage to do anything except shopping online (brought dusty pink hijab at hijup). got spicy chicken and iced coffee. (spoiler alert: tomorrow i got mencret2 lmaooo). read my suha and beyond the skidipapap its actually rly good

19 - went to RSF (with mom as usual. quickly snapped RM pictures while mom was waiting. went with her to mami’s house bcs she and uwak will fly to banjar. finally got to meet haekal, he’s such a smiley babyy its basically free therapy. planned outing with nisa lmao. from soekarno hatta we went to vintage vibes lmao since we’re already out. vintage vibes is more crowded now. and there’s less good findings now. went back emptyhanded. ate chicken arirang since there’s no food. fell asleep at like 06:30 until early morning lmaooo

20 - woke up at 2-ish am, played my phone, fell asleep at like 9?, woke up again at 11 lmaooo. went to sbux. had matcha latte. did some inaco work. todays the most productive ive been this week.

21 - went to gi with febby to also meet up with fi, bought falsies and glue (later proved to be of a horrible quality), siraman and pengajian almira (first time seeing an actual siraman), went to blok m w nes ren ara gen. Tried naruto takoyaki at little tokyo, went to daitokyo (i didnt eat anything), and got matcha cake, sakura and mango raspberry gelato at kebun ide. Picked up by mom. Renata gifted me bts 2021 winter package photocard 🥺🥺

22 - iluni internship webinar by dr naldo. Grabbed fried chicken master. Stupid time management etcetc made my start makeup at 12 (febby went out at 13:30). My falsies and hijabdo was done by herrr thank god for the help. Went to swissbel. Didnt take a pic w almira bcs time. Almiras wedding at damai indah golf pik. My skin was TERRIBLE at the wedding. The make up didnt stick prolly bcs of vitacid. Thank god for masks,,, went back home w febbyy. Made tiktok lmao

23 - lazed. Went to flavola. Its finally daytime caffeine again w kopsuscok. Did dr triya's translation work and finished it at home. She transferred the fee at like 11pm

24 - off to RSF with mom. no new medical records. wrote fuad’s name on the medrec borrowing form. continued to nisa’s place w mom. lazed, played w haekal, put some patient’s phone number on the inaco excel. Off to GBK with nisa and sarah. parked at abc field (shouldve parked near GBK’s H gate). saw moja museum 2.0, took lots of pics. mo paint (moral lesson: draw the background first!! not the foreground). finished at 16:30. ashar at masjid al-bina. nisa dropped me off at gbk tj station. prayed maghrib on the bus since the traffic was so ughh. met atikah in lippo puri. decided to eat seirockya so we walked to puri. talked about a certain someone along the way. we rly talked about it while walking until we arrived at seirockya. atikah treated me uyeyy since she and racheel will stay in depok for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. got the shoyu ramen and gyoza. took the taxi to atikah’s place. mom’s waiting there lmaoo i was like “noo dont wait at jco, just wait at atikah’s”. still felt energized that night in my bed. no sleepy2. like 100% awake. 

25 - woke up at like 9:30. i basically did nothing today. didnt even shower lmao (i showered last night). read the good teacher in one go. zoom meeting w dr eva. i rly need some structure in life, goshhh

26 - showered and went to mcd. got nasi uduk, breakfast wrap and milo for 26k (thanks mcd app promo and mcd duta garden’s menu machine, i dont have to interact with another human). planning to do dr dafsah’s excel after all the data is complete, and still no new inaco data, so i ended up.... online shopping at bobobobo....... (bought outer and white culotte). tidied up the writings on my stickies (plenty of words has accumulated). ordered onejai for emir juan (expensive!!! 79k no promo lolll but free delivery. i was baited by gojek’s 1k 2 week subscription and felt like hmmm i should get something since we live in the middle of nowhere and free deliveries felt significant at that particular time when im holding my phone lmao). fell asleep after drinking vsoy + matcha lol its soft caffeine no longer works i guess

27 - woke up late as usual, went to sbux at 1 pm. tried white peach matcha frapp. the peach overpowers and u can barely taste the matcha. tried to read something useful (in medicine) but skimmed 2 ppt and then i saw solid’s bitly for isip. finished reading banana fish. couldnt bawl my eyes out because im outside.

28 - checked out rsf. Still no new ones. Immediately went back. Lazed and wasted my time

29 - iluni webinar. Here comes the impending life crisis. Ate nasi uduk and mie goreng telor today. Tried vsoy golden grain with matcha. It has almond aftertaste. Line call with kris for almost 4 hrs until 11 past sumn pm.

30 - more iluni webinar. Dr Eric, SpPD, PhD was rly cool. Tried daily box (butter soy chicken). Quite tasty. Mkg w regen. Videocalled in the mall w silvi racil bcs its ale and nadaa's wedding today. Bought gooma 500ml matcha w gofood pickup discount. Ate sushi go (the shoyu has mirin btw). 50k+ you get 6 piece of sushi (2 salmon) and matcha cake and ocha. Quite a nice deal. Talked abt cryptocurrency lmao. Went back and forth w TJ. All hail tj

31 - planned to do at least some productive stuff at home. turns out nila is outside and had some time to spare. so we went out. i met her in citra 6. we went to pik’s white beach. its scorching hot since its 2 pm. spent like 15 mins there. we had wanted to stop by monsieur spoon but THERES A QUEUEEE even if its a hot afternoon. so we ate tom sushi at green sedayu. talked a bit afterwards in nila’s place and then i was picked up by emir. tried gooma’s matcha. its not sweet like sbux. approved by mom (who doesnt like sweets). but its more expensive than sbux’s 2L 100k promo lol. (45k after gopay pickup promo for 500 ml). reread bj alex lmaooooo found new tidbits