#im surprised nobody drew this idea yet (not this one)

[written-in-the-clouds]

Hiii, I was wondering if you would be able to write this request I have. So, it's a platonic Diluc and child reader, where Diluc takes in a child, and despite his best attempts not to, he grows attached to them, and decides to train them, in order to help them keep themself safe, however, one day, he pushes them too far and accidentally scratches them with his sword during their training, causing them to run away.

Please add comfort at the end, I can't handle all angst no comfort/j!

yeah, i kinda took this and ran… child readers are difficult for me to write but i think this one came out okay! im considering making a part two!

warning for diluc + kaeya backstory, but it’s vague mentions~

The stray kid lurking around the winery had blue hair.

Diluc was suspicious, at first. But when he caught them just trying to take a few apples, nothing more - he offered them a place to stay without thinking about it. They were a child, how much of a threat could they be?

That’s what they thought about Kaeya.

Still. He had made up his mind. They were allowed to stay.

They were skittish for the first few days, and Diluc didn’t know what to do to help them be more at home. He made sure they had food and clothing, and were able to roam freely, but he wanted to be able to talk to them.

Unfortunately, he only had one idea of where to go.

—

“Kaeya.”

“Master Diluc,” Kaeya greeted, and Diluc clenched his teeth at the title. “Whatever is troubling you?”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“You’re talking to me unprompted, so something must be wrong.”

Diluc sighed, then lowered his voice. “When you—“ he hesitated. Kaeya raised an eyebrow. “When you were adopted, what was the thing that made you the most comfortable?”

“…what?”

Diluc scowled and straightened up. “Never mind. It was a stupid question—“

Kaeya made a sharp gesture, and Diluc shut his mouth. Kaeya turned his face away for a moment, then said softly, “Being allowed to have my own space, but offered a spot if I wanted it.” He paused. “Why are you asking this?”

“Our dear Diluc has a child,” Venti cut in, sing-songing, and Diluc went bright red while Kaeya started to laugh.

“You—?”

“They’re not mine. They showed up around the winery, I wasn’t going to let them starve,” Diluc snapped. “We shouldn’t be having this conversation in public.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Absolutely not. They need to get comfortable.”

Kaeya blinked. “Huh, that’s actually a good point. I’ll be over in a few weeks, then.”

—

Diluc still didn’t see much of them, between working at the bar and them hiding in their room for most of the day. Every evening, he extended the offer to eat at the table, and when they didn’t, he sent the meal to their room.

On the ninth day, he walked into the dining room to see them sitting at the table quietly. He paused in the doorway, briefly surprised. It had taken Kaeya a while longer to get fully comfortable.

They turned to him before he spoke, and quickly stood up from their chair. “Thank you for letting me stay here,” they said, stilted. It sounded rehearsed. “I’ll be leaving tonight or tomorrow so you don’t have to worry.”

Diluc’s eyebrows drew together. “Where are you going?” If it turned out they had parents somewhere…

They shrugged. “Wherever doesn’t mind me. Heard Mondstadt City is a good place for strays.”

Diluc frowned. “You can stay here. Aren’t you eight?”

“Twelve,” they corrected, scowling, “and I’m not dumb. Nobody wants me around for long.” Diluc hesitated for a moment too long, and they rolled their eyes. “Come on. Don’t act like it’s not true ‘cuz it feels mean. I don’t care.”

“You can stay here,” Diluc said firmly. “I can’t let a child go alone.”

They made a face. “Sure.” They started to leave the room, but Diluc stepped in front of them.

“Do you want to have dinner here?”

They hesitated.

“You don’t have to.”

“…Okay. I’ll eat here tonight.”

—

Two days after that, Diluc catches them admiring a claymore he had left out to polish.

When they saw him, they jumped. “Sorry—“ they started, but Diluc interrupted them.

“Do you know how to use a claymore?” He paused and glanced at their smaller form. “Or a sword?”

“No,” they said, “but once I saw someone with this really pretty sword, like how your claymore is so detailed, and I want to lear—” They stopped themself and bit their lip, watching his reaction.

“Do you want me to teach you?” It was good to learn self-defense, Diluc reasoned. Besides, it would be a good chance to bond with them.

They hesitated, then nodded.

“Tomorrow,” Diluc told them.

—

They picked up the techniques fast. It was only a few days before they could properly spar. Their small size and penchant for dirty tricks nearly made up for their lack of experience. They used fake weapons, of course, and Diluc fought Vision-less. It gave them an opportunity to learn to fight properly and it gave Diluc the chance to practice fighting without his Vision and to defend against tricks he wouldn’t expect. Both of them learned from each other.

One afternoon, clouds gathered quickly above the sparring ground. A raindrop landed on Diluc’s nose. “We should stop for today,” he said. “Fighting in the rain and mud is difficult.”

“I want to try,” [Name] protested. The rain came on quick, faster than Diluc thought it should. “It’ll be fun!”

“No,” Diluc said firmly, lowering his sword and stepping towards the building.

A flash of blue hair brightened the corner of his eye, and a wooden sword swung towards him. It had been years. They were younger than Kaeya had been. Diluc was older. But the rain, and the blue-

He swung before he thought, and they hit the ground. Thunder rumbled overhead, and tears welled in their eyes. Before Diluc could react, could apologize, they scrambled to their feet and ran.

Diluc put the wooden sword away and trekked into the rain. It came down in sheets, drenching him in minutes. Thunder rumbled overhead. “[Name]!” he called, struggling to be heard over the rain. “[Name]!”

The winery was large in of itself, even if [Name] had stayed on the land. They shouldn’t be out in this storm. Hopefully they hadn’t gone far.

Suddenly, a loud caw came from the trees. Diluc startled, put his foot down too hard, and promptly slipped and fell face first into the mud.

Giggling came from a bush nearby, heard even over the rain, and Diluc looked up to see [Name] quickly cover their mouth.

Diluc sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Can you come inside so I can apologize properly, when I’m not covered in mud?”

They grinned. “No.”

Diluc pushed himself into a sitting position and tried to wipe some of the mud off of his coat and his face. The rain let up slightly, a lull in the storm. “I’m sorry that I swung without thinking,” he said. “That’s one of the things you learn not to do when you learn sword fighting.”

“Then why’d you do it?” [Name] frowned.

Diluc hesitated. “It… reminded me of something.”

“Of what?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Diluc said firmly, and [Name]’s frown deepened.

“I hate when grown ups say that.”

“I know,” Diluc said. [Name] shivered. Their clothes were soaked through. “Do you want to go inside to warm up?”

“Okay,” they agreed.

[worldssmallestlizard]

i want to ramble about panjura from path of titans a bit because it made me have interesting thoughts about map design in games

ok so for context everyone Hates this map because it is a big sprawling forest. the moment a map with more condensed/defined areas came out (gondwa) the majority of the playerbase moved to that

im not even really fond of this game anymore. like. i realized the combat aspect is not really for me and nor is the playerbase really (i pretend global chat doesnt exist its so tense). but what drew me in was that (1.) i had no idea that a game's map design could have so much attention to detail and (2.) ON TOP OF THAT BE SO BIG?? apparently the size of panjura is 8x8km. i heard through someone else that it also took 2 years to design

and i just find it really immersive in the way that you can come across a clearing of shallow trees over a brook or a rolling hill that like. stops to make you appreciate it if youre not focused on "man im fucking bored i gotta kill someone." because my friends advertised this to me 2 years ago as a game where you could just be a dinosaur lol. ive been trying to get some mileage out of it but havent found my niche yet really ive considered quitting the game a few times

and i guess like. gondwa (the alternative) does a good job at being more game-friendly. it funnels players into interactions a bit, and the ocean surrounding it shrinks the area you can wander, heightening your chances of coming across someone to fight. (when i was a new player it used to surprise me that everyone enjoys fighting) the land is divided up by rivers and cliffs, so most people are coming off of common bridges or shortcuts. you could also point to a specific area on the map and say "oh thats [region name]" because the borders are so defined. which is something you can't really do with panjura. thus, gondwa is a bit more palatable and is understandably why so many community servers use it to encourage interactions instead. EVERY area is considered a "hotspot" in its own way.

so you can sort of see why like. most people found panjura boring. the larger lake is probably one of the most notable features here, and even then this cuts off the bottom half of the map which does follow more of their uniform use of forests, cliffs, and occasional brooks/ponds. aside from some steep hills, you can otherwise make a beeline for any area you want to migrate to though. it is comparably "too big"

but thats what i fucking love about it so much. there is so much space that like the map has a kind of private aspect to it to the point that if you DO come across another player by some insane stroke of luck, it's way more memorable? and it has a feel to it like youre just going for a walk. but nobody opens a game to just take a walk. which makes it so hard to describe why i love panjura. its just very quiet and gives you more options if you want your own space to roam. theres also more freedom to be able to enter and leave areas at any point. i'd also like to make a note that people only play for the handful of designated "hotspots" around the center of the map

and after panjura got "replaced" for lack of better word there's not always much attention given to it development-wise; a lot of the regions could be redefined bc they've just always been circular (for context you get quests based on the region youre in. gondwa has irregular-shaped regions) and some of them are very incomplete, like some used to have missing quest items or currently have no quest items at all. meanwhile i wouldnt be surprised if gondwa got a bit more polishing over the year it was released. and that could very well be attached to gondwa just being newer/easier to tweak compared to panjura sticking with the game since the beginning

and thats just. it. panjura is comparatively more realistic and immersive in a careful way but thats all it really has going for it. and with the perspective of game design, palatability, guiding, consideration for the player, etc., you dont 100% know when someone is going to attempt to create something similar to it again. which makes me think about this a lot whenever i play it. it just sort of opened my eyes to what art in games COULD be versus what they thrive as

not even to say that gondwa has no aesthetic aspects to it, it just jams so many of them together though (i took none of these photos):

and like. hearing about it was really exciting. but even if you find an area to be very pretty, the awe stops for me when i roam for a bit and realize how small it is. most of these tend to abruptly end where another region begins. to enjoy a map i want to feel dwarfed by it like as if i could run in it for hours, not just enjoy a small spot and say "that was cool! next drastically different biome please." and i wonder if there are any other games that give you the freedom to roam like panjura does. it makes me sad sometimes how people just straight up call it bad/boring map design and it always made me want to dissect why

[linkrockeater]

fun-size: link x reader oneshot

hey hey hey! im finally posting something! but please read this author’s note first!

this story originated from a request by an anon:

“Hello HoneyDoodle! I saw in your bio that Link is short, lol.So, can I please ask for a drabble with {Before calamity BotwLink} (when all the champions were alive). Then a [After calamity Botw Link] (When the champions are all dead and he needs to save Zelda) x tall, devoted, travel companion, fem reader?Please and thank you. ( ^ w ^ )“

of course, i loved this idea, so much so that i took way too many liberties and actually somehow ended up straying from the height-based focus. yes. though i mention the height disparity a few times, it doesn’t actually play as big a role as i wanted it to, like at all, and for that i deeply apologize for essentially not following the prompt!!! to make up for it, i will post a set of headcanons after this goes up that focuses on the prompt better and is much more lighthearted, as this gets kinda angsty??? basically link has a memory of the calamity and yeah. 

anon requested one whole drabble of the reader and link’s relationship both pre and post-calamity, so i tried to blend the two in a way that makes sense.

warnings: VERY LONG POST, mentions of blood/injury, general terror caused by the calamity (buildings falling apart), mention of food/cooking.

again, you have been warned: EXTERMELY LONG POST UP AHEAD!

please let me know if i need to add any more warnings!

fem!reader; 4.4k words. NOT PROOFREAD.

shortly after making his clumsy exit out of the shrine of resurrection, link was able to spot her cautiously wandering on the outskirts of the forest of spirits from his cliffside vantage point. she glanced around timidly, yet the stick she held in her hands was poised up with a somewhat determined fervor; her clothes, from what he knew, were similar to his in make and size and unfit for combat. link made a mental note to try to catch up with her as soon as possible, for she seemed to be just as unfamiliar with her surroundings as he was, and he couldn’t attempt to reach her from the height he was at anyway. not wanting to disturb her, he moved on, turning to his right and eyes immediately settling on a fire in the distance.

as the boy approached, he focused on a figure sitting just beyond the fire, a natural stone awning situated directly above the camp. the old man, as link had determined the figure to be, glanced up at him with no indication of shock, as if anticipating his arrival. he drew in a breath as if he were preparing a mighty speech, then paused.

“well go on, boy,” the man said after a few dull moments. link’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, finally making eye contact with the mysterious hooded figure. the man only chuckled softly. “i can see you eyeing those baked apples as if they were meant to be yours. so go on, take them. perhaps you could use such a succulent treat,” the man commented, idly tossing a few new apples over the flames to replace the ones link timidly grappled for.

link cleared his throat. “who are you?” his own voice shocked him; for what reasons he did not know. he felt ashamed to think he hadn’t a single clue as to where or even who he was, let alone this man that bore no apparent shock to his sudden appearance. keeping his eyes trained on the man, however, he could see that he, too, was taken aback at the sound of his voice. quickly shaking off his own surprise, the old man continued. 

“me? i’ll spare you my life story. i’m just an old fool who has lived here, alone, for quite some time now.” he began to stand, and a low grunt could be heard amidst his brief efforts. the odd cane he held upward in his left hand, which link hadn’t noticed until now, was now aimed at the forest behind link, the one where he had seen the girl wandering. he turned, expecting to see someone following the trail to the small hollow of the mountain, but saw nobody.

“before we continue, i must ask you a favor. i believe i saw someone enter the forest here not too long before your arrival. if you could go fetch her for me, i would be delighted.”

the golden-haired boy glanced behind him, eyes trailing the somewhat steep forest entry. looking back at the old man, he studied his figure.

“i don’t know who you are,” he murmured after a brief silence. as usual, the old man merely chuckled, unfazed by link’s bluntness.

“i am aware, my boy,” he explained, “but i bear no ill-will. you haven’t any reason to fear.” he used his cane to nudge one of the straying apples closer to the fire. “besides, i wouldn’t let your efforts go unpaid.”

link eyed the red fruits, feeling his mouth water as an innate desire washed over him. almost without hesitation, he nodded, making a beeline towards the forest entrance. the old man shook his head, a knowing smile adorning his weathered features.

—

the forest wasn’t so big when he got to exploring it – mostly to find the girl he was tasked with bringing back to the old man, but he found that he also enjoyed foraging around for mushrooms and plants as he looked. he was nearing a decent-sized pond excitedly, almost forgetting why he was in the forest of spirits in the first place, until he heard animalistic, pig-like snarling emanating from the other side of the water.

he instinctively took cover behind a tree, eyebrows furrowing as he scanned the area ahead. almost instantly he found the girl, quivering as she held her stick up defensively. decent-sized red creatures were approaching her at a rapid rate, much larger, sturdier weapons in hand. one quick glance to the right and he could see one standing on a makeshift lookout post aiming an arrow at her. if he was going to act, he needed to do so immediately.

he stumbled away from his cover, running towards the pond. he reached the edge a skidded to a stop, waterline stopping at his ankles, but that wasn’t the most important thing on his mind; he quickly raised his arms, whistling and using his hands in an effort to make it louder. 

the pig-like creatures whipped their heads around to see what made the noise, and audible sounds of surprise were heard. he and the girl made eye contact – the fear was evident in her expression, though confusion now occupied her gaze – and he gave her a nod, almost as if to say i promise to protect you right now.

he turned his attention back to the swarm of monsters nearing him at a quick pace. realizing that he had nothing to defend himself with, he grabbed a low-hanging branch from the tree he had hid behind, plucking an apple off and letting it hit the ground. it wasn’t the best weapon, but he acted on impulse.

as one creature caught up to him, raising its clunky wooden club as a valiant screech left its mouth, link hopped to the side. he paid no attention to the buzz of familiarity that came over his body, tensely avoiding the swings it made as he took to hitting it with his branch repeatedly. having broken it off a tree, one end was splintered and fairly sharp, and as he slashed at the creature it let out howls of pain.

“hey! you!”

eyebrows furrowing, he spinned around to meet the voice, but found it was only the girl at the other side of the pond. she shouted something else, but it was drowned out as it suddenly dawned on him that the rest of the pack had him surrounded and was ready to attack. having limited time to react (and being admittedly quite intimidated), he grabbed the end of the branch that wasn’t splintered and held it out like a rod. using all his weight he began to spin himself around, hoping the branch was long enough to hit at least a few of the creatures, dropping it as it snapped in half. his tactic worked; 3 of the monsters had been completely knocked down, and he took this opportunity to sprint across the pond before they got back up.

nearing the girl, he grabbed her arm, only now realizing how tall she actually was. he found he was shocked having to look up at her, but her gaze was fixed on something else. “what about the other ones?” she asked nervously.

having a firm grip on her he took off, maneuvering in between the trees (and making sure he wasn’t dragging her like a ragdoll) to the edge of the forest where he met the old man. he found that she was almost running faster than he was due to her height, so he let her go and pointed in the direction he was taking her.

when they both finally exited the forest, the man was sitting at his little camp expectantly. much like before he bore no shock to their expressions, of which they were clearly fazed by the forest encounter, and he merely chuckled before standing. “you’ve both made it. i hope you two didn’t run into any trouble, yes?”

“who are you?” the girl asked, though link stepped up before the man could offer an answer. 

“what did you need her for?” link was slightly skeptical as to why this old man would have any business to do with a girl randomly wandering the forest, especially after hearing that she had no clue who he was, though deep down he had a feeling that this man truly meant what he said about bearing no ill-ill towards them. 

“i was hoping to talk to the both of you, actually,” the old man stated calmly. “i have a favor to ask of you two.”

—

link came to know the girl as (y/n). both of them had been absolutely floored to hear that the man they were talking to had been, in fact, the spirit of the king of hyrule himself, and that link was the hero chosen by the goddess hylia to defeat the atrocity occupying the castle. (y/n) had a clear expression of shock, but was surprised to find link standing there with a growing determination apparent in his gaze. after they finally got to leave the great plateau, as their new map had called it, they took some time to talk to each other to clear the air of some confusion.

“you know, i may not be THE chosen hero, but i feel pretty lucky to be the chosen hero’s accomplice.”

link raised an eyebrow. it had been about a day since they first met each other, but she seemed to not mind the sudden mission that had been thrust upon them and acted as if they were close friends. “doesn’t it bother you that you have to basically just follow me around while i do my work?” he felt a slight sense of guilt wash over him. knowing that this girl could take off whenever she wanted and pursue a life much better than the one she was just told to live made him almost hurt for her, and he didn’t want this mighty title of his – being the chosen hero of hyrule – make her feel obligated to stay.

“not at all,” she said firmly, shocking him. “i may not know you well, but there is absolutely no way i would allow anyone to do this alone.” she glanced at him, already having realized that she would have to look slightly down at him to meet his gaze. she wasn’t taller by much, but it was enough to make him blush whenever she looked at him, which didn’t go unnoticed by her. “and besides, both of us are here without any memory of this place,” she suggested, referring to the kingdom of hyrule as a whole. “this will be a learning experience for the both of us, so i think it’ll be beneficial if we stuck around to help one another out, being the only people who can understand each other’s situation anyway,” she rambled.

link gave the idea a thought, a pensive sigh escaping his nose. he admired already how she seemed devoted to her cause, more so because she’s doing it by choice and reason. he nodded, looking up at her again, making him wilt a little in embarrassment.

“then i agree,” he stated quietly. goddesses, the height disparity was intimidating him. not only that but she seemed to be incredibly strong-willed too – he was the chosen hero? 

(y/n) noted all the times he seemed flustered by having to look up at her, a smirk forming on her lips as she watched. “oh, but you seem bothered by something. i didn’t say anything wrong, did i?”

“no, you didn’t!” he reassured her, quickly fixing his demeanor so that he didn’t appear as pensive as he actually was. “it’s just…”

“just what?” she failed to hide her amusement, and by the way she was subtly leaning down to match his height, he knew what she was getting at. “we’re going to be spending a lot of time together, you know, so there’s no reason to not tell me about anything that’s bothering you. we are in this. together.”

link huffed. “maybe i’m a little intimidated by how much taller you are than i am.”

the girl smiled, happy to hear her thoughts confirmed. “don’t worry about that, fun-size,” she comforted, though the amusement couldn’t be entirely hidden by her tone of voice and her giggle at the nickname. “there’s a reason you’re the chosen hero and i’m not. there’s nothing i can do that you can’t – in fact, i’m willing to bet there’s much more than me you can do,” she explained, link’s cheeks remaining a flushed color, though they were calming down.

“except, you know, being taller than me.”

his cheeks flushed again.

—

4 months after the two adventurers met (or reunification, as king hyrule had made clear), they had an expanded arsenal and newfound cooking knowledge. link handled the meals, extraordinarily talented at cooking and whipping up something new, while (y/n) found that she had a superb understanding of elixir brewing. in terms of fighting, link had an extremely innate ability to fight and handle them well, a skill that was probably buried deep in his soul despite losing his memory and physical likeness the 100 years he slept. neither of the two questioned it as they knew he used to be a knight, and he liked to boast about it quite a lot.

once he got past his contemplative state after hearing the news the first week or two, he was much more lighthearted than he came across. neither he nor (y/n) had any recollection of what he was like 100 years prior, though the latter figured he must’ve been pretty popular among not only the order of knights, but to castle staff as well. she, at least, knew that he was her favorite.

standing in the empty and abandoned hateno house, (y/n) gazed at the loft, wondering if they’d be able to fit two beds up there or if one was going to have to go underneath. the prospect of having beds of their own excited both of the travelers, their only sleeping areas having ever been the cold ground or beds at stable inns – not broken in and unfamiliar each time. she could hear link speaking to the construction workers outside, the ones who, thankfully, offered a discounted price on the house as well as a hefty amount of wood to compensate for the damage they’d done destroying the house in the days prior.

after making the exchange, link looked into the house curiously. “hey,” he started. (y/n) smiled him softly.

“how’d it go, fun-size?”

the boy groaned. “i wish you’d stop calling me that.” he placed his hands on his hips, something he did when he was becoming engaged in a conversation. “for all you know, your shrine-of-whatever just gave you extra benefits for some reason and made you taller,” he argued.

“that’s impossible, short stuff,” (y/n) quipped, using one of her other nicknames for the hero. “it would make sense if only i was taller than you or than anyone else for that matter,” she reasoned. “but everyone is taller than you, or is at least your height.”

a soft “hmph” could be heard as link crossed his arms, looking away in a pouting manner. “the village children are not taller than me,” he said quietly.

“they don’t count, bite-size!” the two laughed, though link more playfully defiant than his friend. 

—

link was in the middle of receiving his first memory. (y/n) stood close, holding him, as she was under the impression that was about to faint. he appeared to have fallen asleep, his eyebrows furrowing from time to time, but he seemed stable otherwise.

link, however, was unaware of the worry he was causing his friend, a new, vivid scene playing before him.

—

she sat at her pot, mixing slowly as her worried gaze met his. he said nothing, nor did his exterior expression falter; he acted as if he wasn’t involved in such a huge fight.

zelda had come to her frantically, a severely wounded link at her side. “mipha is not responding,” she stated, worry evident in her voice as it shook. hyrule’s princess dealt with a raging storm of thoughts in her mind, one of a completely different caliber than the one that was ripping up the land outside the shop. with mipha’s status unknown, her next best option was at the brewery, where a close friend of hers resided. “(y/n), this hearty elixir needs to be one of your strongest. there’s been another attack – the calamity, waves of horrible monsters, and…” zelda quieted, looking at link. the knight only looked at her as if to say i am okay. he was not.

(y/n) knew the look. this wasn’t the first time she’d seen her friend and appointed knight come in, though other times had been either to stock up or to handle minor injuries. this time her heart sank to her stomach, a deeply unpleasant and nauseating feeling rooting itself in her core. there was a visible gash in his stomach, of which fabric torn from his sleeve failed to cover. the blood had seeped through, staining his tunic and his hands that gripped it. he said nothing. he was dying.

“i promise i’m going to make something that saves him,” (y/n) stated firmly. she had her moments with the blond-haired boy, times where she had simply gone to visit her friend in the castle but had to wait around while she carried out her royal duties or training. if (y/n) was visiting and zelda was both unavailable and separated from her knight (for very rare but important enough reasons), the two found themselves spending time with each other. although it was often silent – link was never ever really talkative, not did he ever show any sign of vulnerability – she felt a very strong sense and sworn duty to keep him close to her heart.

link looked up at (y/n), the girl who stood doing her job in the midst of chaos, the calamity mere miles from her home and shop just outside of hyrule field; the girl who was the first to make him laugh in a garden walk only a few months prior, the girl who remained patient with him as he struggled internally to accept his fate; the girl who demonstrated true love and care for him when he tried his absolute best to be impenetrable. it was as if the goddesses were allowing him one last moment with the people he cared about most – zelda, who’d he’d learned to care about and admire as he protected her through her own struggles, and (y/n), the holder and protector of his own heart, who held him up under the stresses of having to be the one to uphold everyone around him. 

the ground beneath them rumbled, elixir spilling from the pot of goods (y/n) had been frantically but carefully crafting. quickly finishing up the brew, she transferred the liquid into a large glass jar, a size she never sold to customers and only used to keep large batches of liquid in. she grabbed her travel pack and dumped its contents out in a panic, shoving the jar inside.

an echoing screech could be heard from outside, accompanying the second rumble that rolled across the land. the walls of the shop shook, knocking wares and frames off shelves and tables. link groaned, overcome with exhaustion.

zelda grabbed (y/n)’s travel bag, careful in handling it despite her frantic state, as she had often helped her dear friend whenever she could at the castle. (y/n), i’m taking link to the shrine of resurrection,” she stated, link in such a disheveled state that he couldn’t oppose. “i don’t want to leave you here. please come with us.”

“but what would i do?” (y/n) asked. “i… have lived a fulfilling life. i do what i am best at,” she pondered. “there is no reason i should follow you and stunt your route to the shrine.”

“(y/n). i’ve finally unlocked my powers. it happened mere moments before we arrived. i can hold my own now… but i can’t do it without link. we will have to seal him away, while i–”

part of the roof broke and fell in, luckily away from the trio and closer to the entrance, but it scared the girls nonetheless. zelda’s breathing became uneven.

“there’s a shrine of preservation. it’s not complete, but i think it’s functional enough that you can safely spend the time needed for link’s revitalization in there,” she asserted. (y/n) blinked, beginning to make her way out of the building. 

“what are you suggesting?” she picked up link, her height allowing her to do so with ease. without interrupting zelda, knowing that she was entering a highly analytical state, she gestured towards the exit so they could make their escape now.

“if this works and link can be successfully kept alive by the shrine of resurrection, then i want him to have a companion when he wakes up,” she said, the two of them hurriedly evacuating the area. “i will have to hold ganon back at the castle until then. my power allows me to do so.”

the alchemist’s eyebrows furrowed in thought. everything felt so overwhelming, happening all too fast. “are you sure you’ve thought this through?”

“i have been dreading this moment for years, (y/n),” the princess stated firmly. “i’ve worried about every possible outcome to a day like today. it’s one of the reasons i asked purah and robbie to develop sheikah technology advanced enough to preserve someone’s life in the first place.” 

it was quiet for a while while she led the way. they seemed to be heading to the great plateau, link fading in and out of consciousness as he picked up on their conversation.

“you really think i’ll be a worthy enough partner for link?”

“yes,” zelda said, not a single moment of hesitation in her response. “it’s subtle, but i’ve noticed that you two have a close bond too. knowing that you’d be there to protect him puts me at ease.”

“but i’m no special goddess-chosen being like you, zelda… i have no powers that could protect him from injury.”

“you’re the best alchemist in hyrule,” your friend assured, “and i choose you to be the chosen hero’s protector.”

the words surged through (y/n), a deep impact made upon her heart as if zelda’s words carried a hidden prophecy on them. she finally nodded, the two making their way up the slick staircase leading onto the great plateau. 

“i’m going to make sure the shrine of preservation is in a stable state,” zelda explained. “please take link to the shrine of resurrection immediately.” she took off, leaving the travel pack with the elixir with (y/n), showing no trace of hesitancy.

the (e/c)-eyed girl pushed her way up to her destination, the slightest sense of intimidation washing over her. this was all so soon. her friend was dying in her arms.

clumsily using the sheikah slate to open the shrine door, she wasted no time in rushing inside. past the grand entrance of the room, which still contained boxes indicating that the shrine wasn’t yet complete, was a tub of sorts, shadowed by a massive and powerful chandelier. what it did, (y/n) was not sure.

she carefully placed the knight in the tub. upon doing so, the chandelier began slowly secreting drops of blue liquid, of which the girl could only assume was the magic substance that would save link. this cannot be enough, she worried, concerned about the rate at which the liquid was dispelled. taking the large jar of hearty elixir out of its bag, she frantically dumped the lot of it over her friend, careful to prevent any harsh currents from hitting his wounds. the boy coughed.

“link, everything will be okay.” she was reassuring herself more than she was reassuring him, but her thoughts stopped cold in her tracks when his blue eyes met hers.

like before, he said nothing, but his gaze was soft. she placed a hand on one of his own.

“you’re going to be okay, fun-size,” she said, her emotions finally washing over her as she used the goofy nickname she’d given him. the world was ending, but she could’ve sworn she saw the faintest hint of a smile on his face.

“you’re going to be okay.”

—

link gasped, recovering from his dream-like state and shooting upwards as he stood. he was covered in sweat, hands grappling for his torso, which was not bleeding and was in fact fine. he whipped around to see (y/n), who looked shaken up.

“are you okay?!” she nearly yelled, reaching out to feel his forehead. “goddesses, you work so hard, we need to take more breaks–”

link pulled her close to him, holding her like he was going to lose her, his heart pounding in his chest. he said absolutely nothing, much like how he did in his memory, except now he wasn’t dying, and his dear friend was still with him.

“i remembered,” he started after a while, voice quiet. “i just remembered the day the calamity hit. it came to me like a vision.”

by now (y/n) had returned his embrace, though she was still worried. “you remembered? like you were just reliving a memory?”

link nodded, pulling back to give his friend a small smile. “yeah. and zelda was there, and so were you, and…” he couldn’t feel more grateful for his friends than he did in this moment, though he did feel it was overdue. he almost felt like crying, having just relived such an emotionally intense moment, but he held himself together.

“and…?”

“and…” he began again, looking for the right words to describe the experience. “and you were still taller than me, and you still called me fun-size,” he said, smiling at her more. (y/n) couldn’t help smiling herself. 

“i told you! there were no alterations in those thingy-majigs.”

“yeah… those thingy-majigs…” he looked around at the area surrounding them, then back at his friend, who he had a newfound appreciation for. “hey, can we just take a weeklong break or something? i kind of just want to hang around while the house gets renovated.”

the girl smiled at him, their friendship as strong as ever.

“of course, fun-size.”

[cheri-translates]

Hello cheri! How is your day? Im a fellow gavin stan but recently there is a guy stealing my attention and its shaw hahaha bt i still love gavin my 1st love on game. anyway on your opinion how did mc fell for shaw? And when shaw finds out he likes mc? Thank you ❤

(´･ᴗ･ ` ) Hello Anon! My day is great after receiving this interesting yet challenging question~ The development of a relationship requires the involvement of both parties, so I ended up discussing both questions simultaneously!

Here are the short answers to your questions, but do note that these are just my personal opinions:

1. She uncovered and accepted his complexities

2. Exciting Moment Date

A summary of the Shaw x MC dynamics can be found in these lines from Exciting Moment Date: 

Let’s dive deeper into each line.

-

1. “Emboldened by the straightforward response, I couldn’t help but move closer to him.”

For this, we have to chart the development of MC’s impression of Shaw across the dates.

Shaw’s first event (i.e. Night Fire) took place one week after MC entered the Winter World. In a world where nobody else recognised her, it was perfectly natural for MC to gravitate towards Shaw despite not knowing him well:

At the same time, her instincts cautioned her to stay away from him. After all, how good could a person be if he seemed to dye his hair in a flamboyant colour, wore a riveted jacket, and handed out fake identities like it’s nothing?

Her instincts also warned her that he was the one who attempted to strike Victor in Ch 10 of the main storyline:

At this point, she was likely experiencing two conflicting emotions. On one hand, she was very dependent on him and filled with gratitude for the emotional and practical help he gave her. 

In a world where she had no idea how to proceed, Shaw’s straightforwardness and self-assured nature likely provided her a huge sense of comfort.

At the same time, her instincts sounded the alarm bells in her head.

But being the kind and good-natured MC she is, she continued sticking around with Shaw and was even concerned for his well-being. 

Within the span of one day in One-Day Date, she didn’t just move closer to him physically, but also learnt that he’s actually a graduate student in Loveland University who takes his exams seriously. She also learnt that he’s a talented bass player, and also talented in graffiti. 

She learnt that perhaps there’s greater substance to this young man than she originally thought. And this led to her curiosity being aroused - what more could she uncover about this mysterious man?

One glaring commonality in Shaw’s early dates is that MC asks A LOT of questions. Just as Shaw was intrigued by MC, MC was equally intrigued by him, and actually expressed it even more clearly.

There are too many questions to list down, so here are Shaw’s reactions to them instead:

In the Rosa Rubus event:

In the Genuine or Fake Call from Seeking Date:

In Exciting Moment Date:

MC can’t help but draw nearer to him.

-

2. “The music was being played at a low volume. But because Shaw was wearing only one earphone and the room was quiet, I could still hear the sound of music coming from the other earphone.”

As mentioned at the start, both parties needed to take a step for the relationship to develop successfully. Hence, it didn’t matter if MC barraged Shaw with questions if he wasn’t receptive to them. 

He needed to take the initiative to “wear only one earphone” so that MC was able to understand him through the other. At the same time, MC needed to listen carefully to the “low volume” of Shaw’s genuine feelings.

To elaborate on the above paragraph, we have to understand the way Shaw operates.

In a recent Ask where someone asked about his personality, I mentioned that he’s straightforward like Gavin yet mysterious like Lucien. This might come across strange because how could such a contradiction exist?

But that’s exactly how Shaw is. The reason why Shaw behaves like this is due to a mix of nature and nurture. 

He’s naturally impetuous (e.g. drawn to adrenaline-stirring activities such as skateboarding, performing rock, sneaking into places he shouldn’t be sneaking into). But he was taught by experience and in the study of archaeology to be patient.

Basically, this mixture of nature and nurture results in push-pull dynamics when it comes to Shaw, and a beautifully crafted slow burn where Shaw has to grapple with his feelings for MC. I’ve done a post on his early feelings for MC which you can check out here!

[PUSH] In One-Day Date, he asked her out yet left her to dry:

[PULL] Afterwards, he invited her to indulge in his hobby, and even asked her keep her art on the wall even though he insulted it 5 seconds ago:

[PULL] In Exciting Moment Date, he wanted to spend time alone with MC:

[PUSH] But he didn’t have a concrete plan on what they’d do:

[PUSH] He made it seem like holding hands wasn’t a big deal:

[PULL] But he vehemently refused to let go:

[PUSH] In Exciting Date, he closed himself off:

[PULL] But relented soon afterwards:

Remember how I mentioned before that MC tended to barrage Shaw with a ton of questions in his earlier dates? Interestingly, Shaw didn’t actually mind them.

We see this in his Genuine or Fake Call from Seeking Date:

And also in his Future Bass Call from Exciting Date:

Deep down, Shaw wants to be understood. He wants to be heard. But he needs someone who’s thick-skinned enough to handle his sharp tongue, and to care enough to understand the hidden meaning behind his words, whether said or unsaid. I’ll return to this point at the end.

And at the same time, MC listens. Aside from asking questions about his present motivations, she also wanted to know about his past, and about him as a person:

Anger reveals a lot about a person’s true concerns, so let’s break down this particular line when MC went off on a little rant about Shaw:

In other words, “You’re a contradiction and I can’t comprehend how your mind works. I’m feeling frustrated because I can’t seem to understand your thought process. I wish you would stop disagreeing with me because I want to be on the same wavelength as you are. I really want to understand you."

-

3. “To my surprise, it was an instrumental - slow, deep, soft, mixed with the sound of rain.”

While Shaw engages in this this pull-push tango with MC while she tries to understand him, she is surprised when she sees that there’s more to Shaw than his bravado.

In One-Day Date, she notices his vulnerability:

In Seeking Date, she gets a glimpse of -

His seriousness:

His quietness:

His kindness in the way he kicked the stone away to prevent others from tripping over it:

His meticulousness, albeit slightly delayed:

In Exciting Date (including the prologue), she guesses that there’s more depth to Shaw that she realised:

She is also a recipient of his kindness:

Again and again:

-

4. “Gingerly, I moved another step toward him for a clearer listen.”

These traits drew her closer to him. She started trusting him without even realising it.

In Seeking Date:

In the prologue of Exciting Date:

She also picked up the way he speaks in the Rosa Rubus event and Exciting Date (and even more so in future CN content):

How did Shaw respond to MC’s incessant drive to know him more? He imbibed the words of his mentor:

He was very patient.

He tested her tenacity in running errands as his informant. He tested how well she kept to her promises. He tested how much she cared about the Dragonfly Eye bead he gave her. He tested how much she cared about not making a fool of Isolated on stage.

He also took his sweet time grappling with why he was inexplicably drawn to her, which manifested in the form of the push-pull dynamics mentioned earlier in Point 2. 

Was he simply an observer toying with MC? Was he simply deriving amusement from MC’s reactions?

And after all that testing and waiting, he finally knew for sure:

Shaw not only offered to let MC into his world. 

He also carved out a space in his world for her.

And that’s when the Shaw x MC ship sailed.

[goldenhypen]

oml i completely forgot i was gonna do this so here i am before i forget again sksjs

heeseung -> love at first sight. claimed since day one. don't tell him i constantly got him mixed up with jake tho 😔��� jsksjs no but fr idk what it was about him that drew me to him above the others and i still have no idea what it is but i adored him from the very start and that hasn't changed yet! c:

jay -> i feel like he was one of the only ones i could confidently pick out above the rest for the longest time jsksjs i thought he looked like the intimidating member who nobody would mess with but- well... 🤡 poor jay sksjjs i love how unintentionally funny he is though.

jake -> i kept getting him mixed up with heeseung and i ksjsjs felt so bad but his cute smile always stood out to me. 🥺 i don't really remember what my exact first impression of him was but he's now one of my permanent bias wreckers so-

sunghoon -> ah yes, i'd heard from my friend who loves enha about this majestic human on ice. 😌✨ all she had to do was send me like two vids of his skating performances and my jaw was on the floor istg. i was so impressed by him and i... kept getting him mixed up with jungwon and occasionally sunoo 😭 iM SORRY HOON ILY !! i love how lowkey and nonchalant his humor is though like he just says the goofiest things with a straight face until he can't hold it in and starts laughing at himself pls he's adorable 😭 "eating miso soup makes me so happy" —park sunghoon

sunoo -> i adored him at first sight too oml it was the cute squishy cheeks for me 🥺🥺 i've always had a soft spot for him and i still do to this day. i saw him as this cutesy lil bean (which he still definitely is) but that sassy side of his that i discovered 👀 iconic.

jungwon -> uhh okay for some reason i remember being able to pick him out sometimes by his eyebrows sksjsks 😭✋🏻 don't ask why. so yeah, he was eyebrow boy for a while aND HIS DIMPLES TOO !! i loved them, in such a sucker for cute dimples on cute boys :c i've now adopted him and he is 1/2 of my sons, the other being park jisung ofc 😌

ni-ki -> *me, seeing niki for the first time* "oh he's cute! who is he?" *insert keyboard typing sounds* "oh! oh- oH... 😳" *me, squinting at my screen* "this boy, no this CHILD, is 15 ??" *cue me throwing my phone at my wall* end scene. ksjsjs no but fr i was so shocked to learn how young he was ?? or how young all of them were really- but lowkey i was so excited bc i'm finally a noona to an entire band let's gaurrr!! i love how he's grown to be such a menace, for some reason i tend to like those types of people a lot (as long as they're not targeting me 😌). *looks at haechan*

ari omg i love this pls- honestly heeseung,, he never fails to effortlessly capture anyone’s heart so yeah,, i don’t blame you 😔 heeseung bestest boi <3 yeah honestly your first impression of jay is similar to mine. we thought he’d be the member who ppl wouldn’t mess with, but little did we know,,, skdjsjjdjd 😭 but yeah he also has such a fun and soft personality. i love him 🥺 and for jake and hee, considering the time you got into them, i’m not surprised you got them mixed up skdjdjd even after stanning them for a while before that, i still got them mixed up 😭✋🏻 and so did the members,, so- sksjsjjd but jakey rlly does have such a precious smile 🥺 i love him sm 😭 sksjsjd getting sunghoon mixed up with sunoo- sksjsjs i think you probs told me about that before but i- 😭 i understand jungwon tho. they still look like brothers to me a lot of the time lol. and pls the thing you said about hoonie’s humour,, i was literally smiling at my phone, unintentionally trying to hide it like hoonie does with his own jokes skdjjsd help he’s so cute pls. and yesss for sunoo i always adored him too and at first i never saw his sassy side skdjjdd and for jungwon being able to tell him apart by his eyebrows sksjsjdj that’s a talent in and of itself ✋🏻 also aksjskdj that was literally me when finding out how old niki was too pls he’s so young it still amazes me to this day.

tell me your first impressions of enha!

[cinebration]

Playing Games (Victor Zsasz x Reader) [One-shot]

Anon asked: Soo an idea.. maybe one where you’re romans assistant and you’re kind of prudish so he has victor flirt with you and get you to open up?? Super flirty/angsty maybe??

I know I said I wasn’t acepting requests, but when I received this one, I saw it as a challenge. I wondered if I could write it without the interaction turning into sexual harassment.

I don’t think I succeeded. I hope anon likes it.

Zsasz headcanons:

1. Like in Choose Where, he has no sense of personal space, and he’s touch-oriented.

2. He can’t flirt worth a damn.

Tagged: @im-just-one-of-the-avengers​​​

Warnings: mentions of sexual harassment, language

Roman Sionis didn’t realize until after he hired you on as his assistant that he had a prude on his hands. It wasn’t necessarily that you were a real prude, but whenever you overheard his exploits or his leering comments toward men and women alike, your face colored. Without fail you would flee as soon as possible.

Roman loved it. Seeing you squirm and flounder in the face of blatant sexuality tickled him in all the right places.

He noticed after the first month you became particularly flustered and embarrassed around Zsasz whenever the man flashed his lupine smile in your direction. Roman didn’t blame you. Zsasz dripped animal charisma, sex in a scarred, lethal-eyed package. Roman himself had fallen prey to the man’s magnetism.

Roman pulled Zsasz aside one evening. He was making you stay late to finish busywork.

“Zsasz,” he murmured into the man’s ear, “I have a job for you.”

Zsasz’s lips pulled away from his teeth as Roman explained his plan.

~~

You knew it was busywork meant to keep you late. Practically elbow deep in it, you looked helplessly at the time. The cusp of midnight arrived with a tolling of bells in your mind.

Why was Roman keeping you late?

The door of the office swung open silently but for the turn of the door knob. You glanced up to see Zsasz slink into the room, a curious look in his dark eyes.

You tensed. What Roman had taken for prudishness was in fact skittishness. Both men oozed sex and desire, even when they weren’t trying. Navigating between them was hell, your mind so befuddled with pheromones you were honestly surprised you could walk straight, let alone string a coherent sentence together.

You knew better. You had learned your lesson.

Zsasz sauntered over to the desk, lips pulling back into a feral grin.

Shit.

“What’re you doing?”

Everything the man said sounded like a threat. That knife of his was somewhere within reach of his hand.

“Coordinating invites to Roman’s party,” you answered, looking away from him.

He came around the desk and leaned over your shoulder, invading your space. The man, you had learned, lacked a sense of personal space.

“Hmm,” he purred above your head. “Why aren’t you here?”

“I don’t get an invite. I’ll be working.”

He sat down on the table, crowding your elbow. “Do you work all the time?”

You glanced aside at him without really looking, avoiding eye contact. Familiar unease slithered down your spine. Nodding, you stared down at the list printout in front of you and the computer monitor. The check marks you place beside each name were suddenly shaky.

“Have a drink with me.”

“No.” The word jumped out of your mouth.

Zsasz’s smile fell. “Lighten up.”

Fuck. It was happening again.

“It would be inappropriate,” you managed to say.

“I’m not the boss.”

He had a point. You hunched over the printout. “Still, aren’t you Roman’s?”

Zsasz smirked. “It’s his idea.”

You suddenly went cold, panic gripping your throat. The words flung out of you in an almost strangled shriek. “I’m not doing this again!”

Zsasz frowned, scarred brow furrowing. “What?”

You couldn’t stop yourself, not with the panic driving control from your mind. “I left my other job because of this behavior.”

You hadn’t wanted to lose your job, so you had endured the harassment, gritting through it until it had almost been too late, until things had almost gone too far.

“My boss,” you hissed, “blacklisted me, all because I quit so I wouldn’t have to sleep with him. It’s the only reason I’m working for Roman. He was the only one who would hire me.”

You pushed away from the desk, putting space between yourself and Zsasz. He watched you with that curious expression of his, the frown deepening.

“I need this job,” you said, forcing yourself to look him in the eye. You couldn’t tell him that if you lost this job you might as well starve to death. Refusing him and Roman would at least guarantee a quicker death. “I’m good at what I do. I can do a lot for Roman and his business, if he’ll let me. But I won’t play games.”

“We like games,” Zsasz said, flashing his teeth.

“Not this one.”

You fled from the room before Zsasz could say anything, hurrying down the corridor and out the back door to freedom.

Roman emerged from the other room where he had been watching on cameras. His pretty face pulled into a petulant frown. “Well, that was disappointing. She didn’t want to play.” Raking a hand through his hair, he announced, “I guess I’ll have to fire her. It’s a shame. She was the best assistant yet.”

Zsasz fixed his attention on his boss as the man threw himself into your desk chair, muttering to himself. His first bitter thought was that someone had sullied your innocence before him, that he had been denied the chance. He loved corrupting innocence, was practically drawn to it.

The panic on your face, in your voice, stuck in his mind. He couldn’t shake it.

“Roman,” he said quietly, walking over to him and placing his hands on the man’s shoulders, “I think she should stay.”

Roman made a flustered sound of dissent.

Gently massaging the man’s trapezoids in the way he liked it, Zsasz continued, “You said she was the best. You shouldn’t get rid of her. She’s done good work so far, right?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“If you fire her, she might go to one of your enemies.”

Roman frowned. “I wouldn’t want that.”

“Then she has to stay.”

Roman sighed, shrugged Zsasz’s hands off him. “If she won’t play—”

“I’ll get her to trust us.”

“You better.”

~~

You returned to work the next morning, practically walking on tip-toe. Nobody stopped you. Roman was probably still asleep, loathe to give up his beauty sleep so early.

Creeping into the office, you straightened the desk and drew up the list of invites again, your attention focused on sounds outside the office.

The door opened just as you had started to relax.

Zsasz entered. You tensed.

In his hands was a sheathed knife.

A shudder of fear wracked you before cold resignation set in. You sat up straight, face set.

Zsasz paused before the desk, turning the knife in his hands. “I brought you something.”

He extended the knife to you.

Frowning, you glanced between the weapon and his face. You gently took it, arching an eyebrow in question.

“You wear it in your waistband,” he explained. “Try it on.”

Watching him warily, you stood and tried to slide the clip onto the outside of your pants.

“Not like that.” Coming around the desk, Zsasz reached out, both hands empty, and said, “I’m going to help you.”

You nodded slowly, eyes fixated on his hands.

Taking the knife, Zsasz pulled on your belt loop and slid the sheath against your skin. His fingers brushed your hip, sending delicious sparks up your side. Palpable body heat radiated off him, clouding your mind. Clipping the sheath into place, he relinquished the belt loop, his fingers lingering for a moment on your skin.

He imagined with sudden clarity you accidentally missing the sheath when resheathing the knife and slicing yourself, leaving a fine scar on your hip. The thought made his breath stutter.

“With this,” he purred, “you can hurt anyone who takes things too far.”

“Even you?” The words slipped past your lips.

His lips pulled back into that feral smile. “I like new scars.”

You nearly quailed beneath his intense gaze. “Thank you,” you said slowly, taking a step back.

“I can teach you how to use it.”

“That…would be nice.”

Nodding, Zsasz opened his mouth to say he was free whenever you wanted.

Roman’s voice barked your name. You jerked your head toward the closed door of the office, panic surging.

“Am I fired?” you asked.

“No.”

Smiling weakly, you strode from the room to answer roman’s summons.

The moment the office door closed, Zsasz went to the filing cabinet, searching for your hiring file. He flipped it open, looked for the name of your former employer and his address.

He had to pay the man a visit.

[29-pieces]

Whumptober day 24 - The Musketeers

Day 24: Blindfolded Fandom/Setting - BBC’s The Musketeers, early S1 before d’Artagnan is commissioned Read on AO3 Read on FF.net

~*~

"Filthy cowards!" d'Artagnan raged, squirming with all his might in an attempt to get back up on his feet. The thick rope that had been wound around his middle kept his arms trapped down at his sides, preventing him from drawing a weapon or throwing any punches. It also made it harder to keep his balance. Between that disadvantage and the blindfold wrapped over his eyes to keep him from seeing which direction the next attack would be coming from, d'Artagnan had no opportunity to defend himself.

The red guards who had waylaid him all seemed to find this terribly entertaining. Their jeers and taunts circled the unfortunate recruit, as did a heavy kick every time he tried to clamber back up.

D'Artagnan gasped as another blow came out of nowhere, driving the wind from his body and leaving him to double up and wheeze for precious oxygen. The insults levied at him fell on deaf ears. As soon as he got free of this, he thought with fury, he was going to beat each and every one of them into the ground, single-handedly.

"Shouldn't have thrown in your lot with that Musketeer rubbish," one of the guards snickered. The statement was followed by a hand fisting in his hair, pulling him halfway up off the ground. "Everyone knows they're sorry excuses for soldiers."

D'Artagnan felt blood dripping from his nose over his lip as he bared his teeth and snarled blindly back, "One of them is worth ten of you!"

His loyal declaration was paid for with a punch to the cheek. What was one more bruise to add to the myriad he was rapidly accumulating? Reckless and outraged, the Gascon added, "None of you would dare face one of them one on one! You aren't fit to even speak of them!"

More blows rained down on him and he couldn't see to brace himself. Pure stubbornness (and the fact that they probably couldn't hear him anyway over the shouting and jeering) was all that kept him from any audible sounds of pain. For crying out loud, he wasn't even a musketeer! ...Yet! But when he was, oh, he would make them pay for this...

"One of 'em is worth ten of us, didya hear that, lads?" one of them asked with a loud guffaw. "Well, there are ten of us, aren't there? An' one of you. Which means... you might want to recalculate that, little pig farmer."

"You'd think all his time wrestling pigs would have made him better at this," another hooted.

D'Artagnan's blood surged hot at the insult, and he snapped back, "You're saying you're no better than pigs, then?"

A beat of silence followed; he could just imagine their collective brains trying to work through the statement, which eventually one of them did. An angry shout preceded more kicks and punches that d'Artagnan couldn't evade, try as he might to anticipate the next shot. Surely they would tire of this soon, he thought frantically. Despite the Red Guards' ongoing rivalry with the Musketeers, they couldn't actually kill him... could they?

"Wait, I know what'll make him squeal," one of the men suddenly called. "Where's Bruno?"

D'Artagnan had no idea who Bruno was, but the excited agreement from the others left him with no doubt he wasn't going to enjoy finding out. Multiple pairs of hands grabbed him by the arms, hauling him up to his feet and dragging the blindfolded recruit along. He struggled and shouted, doing his best to wriggle free of the rope around his middle, but they held him firm. Somewhere nearby, he heard a gate or door being opened, then he was pushed forward. Tripping on the cobblestone, d'Artagnan ended up sprawled on the ground again, only to freeze at the sound of throaty, furious barking.

"Shit," he hissed under his breath, trying to scramble back from the newest threat, knowing that he had no chance at fighting off a dog without the use of his hands. "Bastards!"

"Bruno, you hungry?" one of the guards closest to him asked. Footsteps retreated, leaving d'Artagnan alone.

Bruno, and he sounded huge, started barking and snarling even louder, sounding desperate to get at d'Artagnan's throat.

Heart pounding in his chest, d'Artagnan said his mental goodbyes to anyone who had ever known him.

"Get 'im, Bruno!"

D'Artagnan felt something huge barreling forward, heard the sound of heavy paws and enraged growling; he curled up to make as small a target as possible and finally gasped in fear.

Having finally achieved the reaction they'd been hoping for, the red guards dissolved into laughter.

.o.O.o.

Athos wasn't sure what he'd been expecting. Since d'Artagnan's first, rather memorable moment barging into their lives, he'd proven himself something of a magnet for trouble. Athos recognized it; he had two other brothers who were just as bad. What he was not expecting was for the Red Guard to have gotten themselves involved with the newest recruit.

Though, he was quite sure it would have taken nothing more than a snide comment about the musketeers in general, or one of the three Inseparables in particular, and d'Artagnan would have been trying to duel the entire complement of Red Guard. Athos shook his head in spite of the silent affection. Loyalty was commendable. Perhaps once they taught him to temper it somewhat...

In any case, even Athos had not been expecting a full squad of red guards to have waylaid the boy. Cowardice was one thing, but surely this was beneath even them. Coolly, the swordsman drew a pistol and fired it into the air. It worked to make all of the guards duck and spin around in fright, though it had also made d'Artagnan flinch violently from his spot on the ground. Not what he'd been going for.

"Restrain that brute," he ordered calmly, nodding to the dog they'd been using to taunt d'Artagnan. The beast was still wearing a collar and lead; he suspected they hadn't been planning to actually let the animal attack d'Artagnan, only wanting to get a frightened reaction from him.

"Athos?" d'Artagnan asked shakily. "Is that you?"

"Mm," Athos assented, directing his coldest glare at the Red Guard lieutenant, the one who should have been above this childish game. "Porthos."

"You lot," Porthos growled in disdain, dismounting from his horse and storming over towards d'Artagnan with his dagger in hand. The red guards scurried to get out of his way. "Pathetic, that's what you all are."

"The next time you get bored, we'd thank you to find your entertainment elsewhere," Aramis added flippantly, his own pistol idly resting on his leg but pointed right at their attack dog in case any of them had the bright idea to loose the beast after all. "And leave our recruits alone."

Athos watched as Porthos cut d'Artagnan free and pulled the blindfold away. The lad was quick to jump to his feet, and he was a mess of bruises, but Athos was pleased to see he appeared only furious and not scared. Good. It wouldn't do to let the bullies know they'd obviously gotten to him. He was also glad to see Porthos merely offering d'Artagnan a hand back up without fussing over him too much, none of them wanting to give the guards the impression that d'Artagnan needed coddling or protection. Lifting his chin, Athos turned his attention back to the lieutenant.

"Although," he went on. "If you're so anxious to prove yourselves against a musketeer, any one of you may challenge me. Right here. Right now. Any takers?"

His eyes slid from one to the next, daring each and every one of them to try their luck against a musketeer who was ready and able to fight back. To nobody's surprise, each of the guards looked away as his eyes settled on them. By now, Porthos was back on his horse and given d'Artagnan a lift up behind him. Athos nodded in satisfaction and glowered around once more, just to make sure the message had sunk in.

"The captain will hear of this," he growled, before wheeling his horse around and charging out of the Red Guards' courtyard.

He led the way back to the Musketeer garrison at the same clipped pace, but immediately swung down from his horse to grab d'Artagnan as soon as he dismounted from behind Porthos. Without a word, he took the lad's chin in his hand, turning his face this way and that to see what damage had been done.

"'M alright," d'Artagnan assured him, wincing and bruised, but as fierce as ever. "Next time I see one of their sniveling faces, I'm going to-"

"Whoa there," Aramis chuckled. He stepped over to the recruit, draping a casual arm around his shoulders. From his unconcerned grin, only one of his close friends would realize he was getting in place to grab d'Artagnan if he collapsed. "Don't get me wrong, I do love the idea of those tontos getting what they richly deserve."

"An' the captain would feel the same," Porthos said with a smirk, only barely masking the vengeful ire Athos knew he felt at their recruit being picked on. "But then he'd have to reprimand us..."

"And then you're mucking stables..."

"And most importantly, there's no sense giving the Cardinal reason to convince the King not to give you the commission you deserve," Athos finished for them. From his assessment, the lad had come to no real harm, nothing worse than some bad bruises and injured pride. "Now go see Serge. We had him save some supper for you when you weren't back in time."

Clearly still raring for a fight and unsatisfied at the lack of vengeance, d'Artagnan nevertheless nodded and headed for the mess. Athos watched him go, rubbing his chin broodingly.

Aramis crossed his arms and smirked. "There's some fire in that one."

"He's gonna make a great musketeer," agreed Porthos. "If he can stay outta trouble long enough."

Yes, Athos mused with a silent nod. Yes, he was quite sure d'Artagnan was headed for greatness. And they would be behind him every step of the way.

[hardyshoe]

benefits- a roger Taylor series

par five

warnings- language

a/n-this isa bit of a filler chapter but chapter six is the one I'm most excited about writing so expect that very soon. thank you all xx

*phone ringing*

“darling I know your there, I need to speak to you don't hang up” finally one of them called, it wasn't Rog but you were so glad to hear Freddies voice.

 in the last few weeks you'd started to feel really quite down, not leaving the house was really starting to take its toll. however the fear of people knowing kept you holed up inside. seeing how easily Mary had figured it out you couldn't risk having people knowing and the information somehow getting back to him. he still didn't know, not at all. it felt weird that he didn't to you because by now you'd gotta used to the thought of the babies, which at the last doctors appointment were confirmed to be a boy and a girl. you were more than exited to meet them and the weeks just kept going past and your belly kept growing. that was another reason you hadn't left your flat, it was so much effort.

“oh Freddie, I have missed you”

“I know dear and I've missed you too, but we need to talk about roger”

 shit did he know? no there was no way he could Mary had sworn not to tell and you'd seen her just last week.

“oh?” you tried to keep calm but it didn't work and you could only muster a questioning sound.

“hes been off for the whole tour and I know the two of you hung out a few days before we left, did something happen. oh my god! the two of didn't shag did you?!” he didn't know, thankfully.

you sighed and tried to explain, “no we didn't shag Fred, we had a fight actually. he decided not to tell me you guys were leaving until two days before the tour started and anyway I've been too busy to forgive him,” this was partially true, in the last few weeks you had begun to buy things for the babies and set up your old study space as a bedroom. however you were so big it was taking quite some time as you constantly needed to sit down.

 “are you serious? he told us he wanted to tell you when we found out about the tour, we agreed seeing as you two are quite close. so we kept our mouths shut but two days is not enough time.”

“nice to know someone agrees, he seemed surprised when I told him to leave after he dropped that on me. it broke my heart Fred, he knows how proud I am of him, of all of you. and he also knows I don't have any other friends except you guys and Mary. god its been lonely Freddie” 

 Freddie started to apologise on rogers behalf but soon resided to slagging him off for his behaviour. it made you giggle and your hand fell to your rounded stomach where the babies were kicking. “I know, your daddy is a dumbass isn't he?” 

 “what did you just say?” shit had you just said that out loud? 

“...” you were frozen where you were, unable to form words from the incoherence in your head.

“y/n your gonna need to explain that. by the sounds of that you've got a baby. WAIT ARE YOU PREGNANT?” this was not good, so very not good.

“you can't tell anyone Fred, I mean it. you and Mary are the only ones who know and I would like to keep it that way”

“holy shit your pregnant. how far along are you?” he hadn't asked THAT question yet, how you'd get around it this time you didn't know.

“seven months on Friday” that was something you hadn't gotten to terms with yet, in four days you'd have three months to go and you felt anything but ready.

“sorry dear I don't think I heard you, I thought you said seven months.”

 it was that that made you realise how absurd the whole situation was from his perspective, you'd spoken with him once at the start of the tour for a few minutes but that was before you found out about he babies. so for him he was speaking to you again for the first time in half a year and suddenly you’re nearly seven months pregnant. “I did Freddie”

“so you mean to tell me you knew about this before we left and you didn't tell me? I'm offended” he feigned sadness in his tone but you could tell he was a little concerned.

“uh no actually I didn't find out until about 11 weeks”

“oh okay, that does make me feel better. but wait you said...” he paused for a minute, here it comes “oh my god! is it rogers?”

“Freddie please don't tell him I couldn’t live with myself if I wasn’t the one to tell him. Im just so scared he won't want me”

“I won't tell him darling its not my place. your secret, despite the fact it is very large and very shocking, is safe with me. so this means you and roger did shag.”  he laughed to himself after saying that and you to chuckled, it was a bit wild.

“look you lot get back on Saturday right?”

“yes dear”

“come and see me when you get back i’ll fill you in on everything then okay?” as much as you wanted to talk with Fred all afternoon, you were exhausted he hadn't quite thought about the time difference and with all your current expenses you couldn’t afford the phone bill.

“alright sounds good, I cannot wait”

 somehow him knowing was relieving and soon you'd have him to talk baby stuff with. you'd spared Mary from your endless talking about the twins. but now it hit you that in less than a week they would be back and then there was no hiding it.

-Sunday morning-

 “y/n darling I'm here” he called from the other side of the door in a singsong voice and you jumped up, well it wasn't really jumping in your state. you swung the door open and fell into Freddie’s arms, longing for the physical contact.

after a minute he drew back and looked you up and down. “my god your huge!”

you chuckled, “yeah that does tend to happen Fred, can we sit down?”

“course darling” the two of you sat down on the beat up couch and he started asking questions.

“y/n I don't want to sound rude but you’re like really big.”

 you shot him confused look, “well there are two babies in there I'm not exactly gonna be little am i?”

“did you say two? you mean your having twins?” had you not told him over the phone, it was unlike you to leave something like that out.

“yes I did, a boy and a girl” hands on your stomach again you smiled down at your belly.

he gasped “you have got to stop dropping this on me my heart can't handle it”

that lightened the mood and you chuckled at the look on his face. you gushed about the babies and how big they were, told him of how you found out and how brilliant Mary had been the whole time. he could sense your nerves about the topic of roger so he avoided it, though he was curious. 

“do they ever kick?”

“oh you wouldn't believe how much” you giggled and put his hand on you tummy where a few little kicks where coming from.

“how roger could turn away from this is beyond me,” he clamped his hand over his mouth and began apologising profusely.

“its alright Fred, I wish he was with me it is hard sometimes. and it kills me to go to the doctors and see all the happy couples doting over their babies and knowing I'm never going to have that.” again you felt the tears welling in your eyes.

“don't say that, rogers a good man he’ll understand, it was just a one night stand right?”

you shook your head and stared at the floor, almost guiltily. “no, not even close. it was about six months of casual sex. friends with benefits at best”

“I had no idea, well your chances just got a lot better, roger usually doesn't even call a girl after sleeping with her let along keep it up with her for six months. he must be in love with you thats the only explanation”

“I wish he was Fred” you choked out between sobs, this was something nobody knew not even Mary. if anyone should know Freddie should, he’s know what to say.

“you love him don't you?”

you just nodded. not quite able to explain.

[bigskydreaming]

hi, im new to reading actual comics and i just read the court of owls. this was the first time id ever seen bruce actually hit dick—does that happen a lot? i was honestly shocked at it. and bruce never apologized. im trying to understand why bruce would do that—why do you think? i dont think the comic was glorifying it at all but it was still there and im a little dumbfounded as to why the writers thought that was appropriate to put in there. what are your thoughts?

Its shitty writing. That’s the ultimate answer. Every instance of Bruce’s kids ever has been an instance of shitty writing, because it never gets addressed or followed up on, and its not like there’s EVER a good reason to write a father hitting his kids unless you’re specifically centering the kids and trying to write a story of abuse and learning to recognize and accept that yes, this is actually happening to them now what do they do with that awareness and understanding....and let’s be frank, that’s not a story that DC has ever desired or intended to write with Bruce in the position of that father.

So flat out, no equivocation, every instance of Bruce hitting his kids ever, has been shitty, unacceptable writing, no matter the context or the follow-up, because the end takeaway at the heart of the matter is always, always, always, that whatever each writer’s actual intention when writing those scenes, they definitively did not ‘intend’ for it to be seen as abusive.

But that means jack shit in terms of whether what was actually shown on the page, was in fact abusive. Which has been the case, more than once, and with more than one of his kids.

So unfortunately, he has been physically violent with Dick on more than one occasion, in which there was no chance of it being spun as mind control or like, them fighting as equals because of some story position or whatever, where it was just definitively, a father hitting his son for his own emotional reasons or whatever. It happened after Jason’s death, it happened in the Court of Owls arc, it happened after Dick briefly died and was resuscitated in Forever Evil and Bruce was trying to get him to go undercover without anyone else knowing he’d survived yet. There have been a couple other times where the two of them have come to mutual blows in a fight that started as just a verbal argument, but I tend not to focus on those for a number of reasons but tbh, mostly just because its an uphill battle getting people to address even the times when its most clear that Bruce is without a doubt unjustified and dishing out abuse that is in no way reciprocated. There’s no real chance to even get around to the scenes that are complicated by additional layers.

And again to be clear, this kind of shit writing isn’t just limited to Dick. Bruce has been physically violent with Jason ever since he came back as the Red Hood in more than one altercation, with there being the flimsy justification in some of these stories that well, technically Jason is ‘the bad guy’ and Bruce is just doing what he has to in order to stop him....but with more than one instance of Bruce being overly violent with Jason in ways that he isn’t with even some of the worst criminals or villains in other stories, thus making it impossible to interpret as anything other than Bruce’s aggression being heightened by his emotional turmoil at Jason’s actions, the fact that he’s fighting his own son, Bruce’s own issues, etc, etc....

Which ultimately all just boils down to...Bruce is violent with Jason and to degrees that he isn’t with even his most notorious villains, and his own emotional state is the only explanation possible, which makes the over the top nature of Bruce’s violence in these scenes outright abuse, no matter the existence of the ‘well Jason technically was doing something that Bruce was trying to stop, it was more of a hero vs antihero thing rather than a father vs son thing’ attempt at spinning it otherwise. Notable and notorious instances of this are Bruce’s way of ‘finishing’ things in UTRH, RHATO #25, etc.

With Tim, the only real instance so far has been Batman #71, the King written bullshit I spoke of, and tbh I’m still so steamed at his attempt at justifying that, like, just read the latest issue to see the full story there because I refuse to even dignify that particular bit of abuse apologism with a paraphrasing.

And unfortunately, Bruce has definitely been written being emotionally abusive with all his kids at various points or another, with again the real culprit usually being dumbass fuckferrett writer assholes who wouldn’t know how to write a healthy parent/child interaction if your Higher Power of Choice directly appeared in their room, shining with benevolence and full-on “Do Not Test Me On This”  wattage, and then handing them a script that word for word laid out how to write out a healthy parent/child interaction for the scene they were beginning....like, they’d STILL find a way to fuck it up, that’s how bad these particular writers are at recognizing This Is A Good Action and This is A Bad Action, Bad, B-A-D, DON’T DO IT.

And the thing is, that’s not Bruce Wayne at his core characterization. I don’t believe it is anymore than even the most die-hard Bruce fan, which I most decidedly am not. I’m here for his kids, he can stay when he’s doting and on his best Dadly behavior, but he’s always on thin ice with me at this point and on his own, I’m usually just like meh, wouldn’t adopting an orphan right about now be a better use of your time?

But for sure, Bruce absolutely has been written as a good parent in canon as well, and has everything he needs character wise to constantly have that portrayal of him upheld and prioritized instead of his worse traits but like. We have definitely gotten Bad Dad Bruce in canon, and more frequently than any of us would like....which is where we usually turn to fandom, for fix-its.

And there’s lots of Good Dad Bruce Wayne in fanfics. Its even its own tag. And I have no problem with most of those fics in spirit, or the concept in general, I’m just very opinionated and knee-jerk about abuse apologism across the board, so I mean...if it were up to me, I’d much rather normalize tags like “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Good Dad” and “Bruce Wayne Can Be A Bad Dad.” I don’t generally like broad-sweeping declarations made about characters that no one person can ever ensure consistent characterization for, so no matter how understandable the intent, I object to the idea of Good Dad Bruce Wayne protection squads or tags on the basis of like...how easily that can lead straight into abuse apologism, with people making the claim “Bruce would never do what he did in canon story (x)....because Bruce is a Good Dad and good dads don’t do that.” Well no, they don’t. In theory. Cuz problem is in reality, supposedly good dads do things like that all the time, because nobody IMO is truly good or bad, they just do good or bad things and even a person with a track record of doing mostly good things can occasionally surprise people, even themselves, by doing something horrific.

 And like, when we’re talking about fictional characters I’m all for arguing that something was out of character because with fiction you CAN actually consider a writer’s intent and compare and contrast it with what’s on the page, like you CAN technically say well, the writer SAID in this interview here, that they did this because they were thinking x, y and z....and then you could feasibly point to the actual on the page depiction of that scene and say okay but look at x, y and z here...what we actually got clearly isn’t what they claim they were actually going for, so they fucked it up, it wasn’t even their own intention, so like....I argue that this was out of character and shouldn’t be given too much weight. 

You can’t do that in reality. Impact is what matters. The effect. Not the cause. The intent. No matter how uncharacteristic an up until that point  ‘good dad’ striking their kid is for them....they’re not a character. They’re a person. It CAN’T be out of character, its them that did it, their action that caused the effect of their kid being abused, with no take backs for that, no rewind that will ever undo whatever effect that has on the rest of their relationship from that day forward, or whether they even have one at all.

And people have trouble setting firm boundaries on what they will defend in fiction versus what they will defend or call out as indefensible in reality, it isn’t nearly as either or as a lot of people try and tell themselves it is, IMO....like, my stance tends to be that if you can’t even condemn a fictional character for doing a clearly abusive thing, how do you think you can definitively say you’re sure you’d be able to condemn a loved one for doing a clearly abusive thing? Y’know? Its not as easy to separate as people like to make it out to be, so I’m hugely against abuse apologism in fandom because I think a lot of times....the way we react to these things in terms of favorite fictional characters can potentially end up a training ground for how we react to these things in real life, if they end up happening at a later point.

So I’m very critical of Bruce in a lot of my posts, but its not because I don’t want him to be good for his kids or don’t think he can be written that way....and not even because I don’t get the thought process behind ‘well I don’t view his character as being capable of that when he’s written the ways that drew me to his character in the first place, and this kind of behavior isn’t what I’m here for, it isn’t escapism for me and it just depresses me so I choose not to interact with or acknowledge these specific parts of canon.’

My issues arise from the specific ways a lot of fans attempt to write around these instances of canon, in order to not have to factor it into Bruce’s character and their view and depiction of it...while often times failing to apply similarly transformative energy to the characters Bruce hurt in these instances of canon. And when that happens, its a problem, IMO....because you end up writing Good Dad Bruce Wayne....and his kids who are at times resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary...as they are shown at times to be in canon....largely BECAUSE of those moments in canon where he’s written at his worst and does fucked up things. But without acknowledging those parts of canon at all, AND without similarly rewriting the course of events in his KIDS’ lives as much as you do in Bruce’s himself.....the end result often ends up being that you have Good Dad Bruce Wayne and a bunch of stubborn brats that according to this narrative spin have no reason for being as resentful or bitter or argumentative or wary as they’re being here...since THEY’RE still being written according to their full, overall canon characterization, with no specific chunks chiseled out.

And then of course, my other major issue with abuse apologism in fandom arises from how often fans seem willing to tackle the possibility or instances of Bad Dad Bruce Wayne in order to write fix-it fics and headcanons and meta for the times he’s hurt Jason or Tim or Damian, etc.....but then selectively erase or ignore the instances he’s done similar shit to Dick...because so much of this fandom insists on this take that he’s specifically favored by Bruce and has received special treatment that justifies the others’ occasional resentment of him, and the resentment of their fans for him. So there’s this kinda thing where you end up with a lot of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledging some fairly pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That, He’s A Good Dad.....AND then on top of that you have a lot of the rest of fandom ignoring or refusing to acknowledge some equally pivotal canon events because Bruce Would Never Do That To Dick, He’s A Good Dad To Dick...Its Just Everyone Else He Fucks Up With.

And that kind of selective acknowledgment of abuse for reasons of personal character preference like...get under my skin, BIG TIME. *Shrugs*

[restlessmaknae]

Walking on thin ice // I. (Im)possible

Baleful powers and icy hearts collide and no one knows what would come out of it. A girl who doesn’t want to be seen and a boy who desperately wants to be seen.

❄ Pairing: Jack Frost!Yoongi (BTS) x Elsa!Joohyun (Red Velvet’s Irene)

❄ Supporting roles: Joonmyun (EXO) as Santa; Kibum (SHINee) as Easter Bunny; Hayoung (APink) as Tooth Fairy; Mark (GOT7) as Sandman; Yerim (Red Velvet) as Anna; Myungjun (ASTRO) as Daylight

❄ Basics’ post: setting & long summary & cast

❄ Genre: angst, drama, fluff, fantasy

❄ Chapters: I. ❄ II.  ❄ III. ❄ IV. ❄ V. ❄ VI. ❄ VII.

Look what you did to her! You can’t do anything but to hurt people. You are a monster.

Said the loud, intriguing voice in Bae Joohyun’s head and even though she tried her best, she couldn’t shake off that unwanted feeling that was slowly engulfing her. It was like she was listening to her thoughts through an earphone without being able to hit the ‘stop’ button. The words were haunting her, whispering into her ears wherever she went. She couldn’t get rid of them, the voice got louder and louder as time went by.

What have I done? She gulped as she rose from her seat beside the bed and shifted her gaze to the pale, tiny body in the giant hospital bed. The young girl’s eyes were closed, looking like a baby as she was sleeping safe and safe. Her breaths were steady and uninterrupted. The sight of her little sister unharmed made her relaxed for a few minutes. Yerim is okay. For now.

She looked at Yerim for the last time, her eyes going over every single detail of the girl’s growing body. The long, chestnut brown curls of her hair, the usually blushing red cheekbones that were paler than ever, the little freckles on her nose and the bracelet around her wrist which represented their strong family bond. Only two little letters were written on the material; A and E. Anna and Elsa – their childhood nicknames.

She looked at her own bracelet and made an attempt to take it off. She didn’t want Yerim to be connected to her in any way anymore. How could she hurt her little sister? She had no idea how to control herself when was panicked or even slightly anxious and it was only a matter of time someone would get hurt. Joohyun would never ever hurt anyone on purpose, especially not her beloved little sister. She couldn’t risk another outburst. She had to leave her behind. She had to protect her and only by being away from her, could she make sure that she was safe.

First, it seemed that Joohyun wouldn’t be able to get rid of that oh so familiar bracelet that she hadn’t taken off ever since they got the pair of jewellery from their parents. However, as she strained harder, she managed to succeed in a matter of seconds. Then, she put it on the bedside table with trembling hands, still trying to cling onto for a few seconds. But as Yerim suddenly snored louder, she knew she had to go.

She can’t see me. She sighed heavily as the thought nestled into her mind. She glanced at Yerim’s sleeping figure one more time and hurried out of the room as quickly as she could. She didn’t want to imagine Yerim’s heartbroken expression when she finds out that her sister was no longer there with her. Yet, Joohyun tried to reassure herself that it would be the best for both of them if she left.

You are dangerous. You can’t be around people. You need to hide. These words wormed their ways into her thoughts more and more frequently; she wasn’t able to escape from the sneaky voice in her head. It was stronger, louder and more malicious than ever.

Small wonder she trembled like a leaf as she left the hospital, hoping that she would never need to come back. She hated hospitals and everything that was related to hospitals – the horrible smell, the blinding white walls, the lip nibbling of the patients and the unpleasant memories that chained her to the place.

She was wandering around for minutes, not knowing where to go to find solace. How could she find a shelter when she was her own enemy? When she was a ticking time bomb that could explode any minute? How could she remain calm and composed? How, how, how?

In the end, she decided to sit down on an abandoned bench near the Han River. Luckily, nobody was around, she was completely alone for the time being.

Joohyun sighed with relief and watched the crystal-clear water in its usual peace and tranquillity. Gosh, how much she wanted to have her old life back! She wasn’t the happiest person on Earth but she was fond of her ordinary life as a twenty-one-year-old college student. Now, everything was falling apart. Her life changed in a blink of an eye and the glass bead of her old self fell to the ground and scattered into tiny pieces. What was she supposed to do? Was she even able to fix anything? Or should she merely start a new life and accept her destiny? Be ready that worse was still yet to come?

She was so lost in thought that she could barely notice that someone sat down on the bench beside her. She didn’t look sideways but hoped that the stranger would leave soon. She was craving some time alone because she was terrified that she would hurt more people after her own sister. Yerim was in the hospital because she couldn’t control her power and it was the cruellest way to pay a price for having such an ominous ability. Freezing things was supposed to be fun, most people would think this way. However, unleashing powers by accident and striking your little sister in the heart is not fun at all. Joohyun almost died of shame and regret when Yerim collapsed in front of her. Her feelings were totally out of control and the more she was afraid to hurt her, the more pain she had caused.

Suddenly, the stranger got to his feet and Joohyun drew another sigh. Although she thought that he would leave, he started walking back and forth, right in front of her. She noticed that the young man wasn’t wearing shoes and had light clothes despite the chilly weather of an afternoon in November.

“I give up. She can’t see me.” He muttered in a low, manly tone which surprised Joohyun because she imagined a much more gentle and youthful voice to the odd-looking boy. He looked like an innocent teenager with his pale skin, blonde hair and shabby clothes but sounded like a grandpa. Was he dressed up as a character from an anime? Was he going to a roleplay?

Joohyun looked up from her intertwined hands, furrowing her eyebrows in question. She didn’t know if she should speak up or not but there’s no way the boy was talking about anyone else considering that they were the only two people around.

“Are you talking about me?” She inquired indignantly, tilting her head in contemplation.

To her surprise, her question almost scared the hell out of the boy. He visibly bounced a little as he realised that she was talking to him. He seemed to search for the right words to say as he hesitated for some seconds. Though those seconds were more than enough for her to check him out.

He was indeed a young guy, probably around the juvenile age of twenty yet there was something really peculiar about him. At first, Joohyun couldn’t pinpoint what it was, yet she almost facepalmed when she realized the most interesting feature about him. Apart from his bare feet, the most striking thing about this guy was his icy, ocean blue eyes. They were so cold and lifeless, stern like winter itself and deep like the Pacific Ocean. His eyes looked old like they kept hundreds of years of horror and wisdom in them. It was scary. Plus, why was everyone so fond of dying their hair almost-white-blonde these days?

“Look…” The boy started awkwardly as he ran a hand through his messy hair. There was an undoubtedly embarrassing pause after his sudden exclamation. “Me and my friend, Tooth−“ He continued quickly but bit his lower lip as said Tooth’s name out loud.

Joohyun gave him a frowning look, not sure who the hell was he and what on Earth he might have wanted from her. She was certain she had never ever seen anyone like him before. She would have remembered such an odd figure. He was already suspicious looking like a homeless kid, he didn’t have to mention a friend whose name was Tooth to make her regret her choice of striking a conversation with him.

Though the continuation was more than enough for her to make her move.

“So Hayoung and I saw what had happened.” The white-haired guy confessed absent-mindedly, shrugging like he was talking about his grocery list, not the fact that he and another person had seen what Joohyun could do with her unwanted power.

Bang. Saying that she was shocked would have been an understatement. She was thrilled, her heart almost missed a beat. But as soon as she got back to her senses, she jolted up and started running away from the boy as fast as she could. If he was going to hurt her, she could still use her power to stop him. Even though she didn’t exactly know how to control it, the guy probably didn’t know about this little detail.

“Please, let me explain it!” The boy shouted after her as he tried to catch up with her. Unbeknownst to her, he was much faster and appeared exactly in front of the terrified girl a second later. He looked like he was trying to plead but Joohyun had no time for solidarity, nor silly questioning. She needed to get away from him as soon as possible. If he knew something, she was up for no good.

That’s why she turned around right away and started walking in the opposite direction. Nevertheless, the boy was pretty fast, so he was by her side by the next second.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay?” She exclaimed furiously, furrowing her eyebrows in a not-so-subtle way. She was already on the edge due to the events a day before, so he wanted nothing else but to hide away from the world and herself. Yet, it seemed that if the accident wasn’t already enough, she also had to deal with a clingy stranger. “You can report it but I’m not going to jail.” She stated fervently, her voice shaking a bit.

The boy looked puzzled for a moment but still maintained the eye-contact, looking like the type who would examine her by looking fiercely into her eyes.

“No, you don’t get it. I’m just trying to help.” He raised his arms defensively, making an attempt to clear the tension in the air. The fierce sparks in his eyes proved that he was speaking the truth yet she couldn’t believe any stranger who witnessed what she was capable of. She knew the situation too well. I’m just trying to help. Sure. But was he even able to help her? Was there anyone out there who could help her?

“Oh yeah, sure.” Joohyun snorted way too mockingly. “By taking me to a mental institute or something like that? Or using me as a weapon for the government? No, thanks!” She grumbled angrily, rolling her eyes at the boy’s intentions.

She already felt the anger boiling up inside her and her heart rushing dull. As she noticed the frustration rushing through her body and uncomfortable chills running down her spine, she stiffly put her hands into her pocket. She didn’t want to strike the boy in the heart, even though he was kind of getting on her nerves. She wouldn’t be able to live with more blood on her hands.

“No, you really don’t−“

“I’m warning you!” She immediately cut him off because there was no use of listening to a weird stranger’s misinterpretation. Maybe that white-haired, icy eyed guy was crazier than ever. “Go away or I’ll use my power to make you!” She blurted out without giving much thought, yet she tried her best to sound as confident as possible.

However, the anime-like guy didn’t seem to take the threat too seriously. He raised one of his eyebrows in question and stated out of the blue:

“You can’t even control it!” He scoffed like he was belittling her power. Joohyun was taken aback by his behaviour. Who was he to talk so casually about something so mysterious and inexplicable? Who was he to know about such things? Was he a specialist in supernatural powers? Was he even aware of the seriousness of the whole situation? Or did he think that it was fun because it was only a game for him? If he attempted to piss her off, he definitely succeeded.

“What makes you think that? Are you a stalker or something?” She grunted at him, trying to scare him away. What if he was just toying with her to see if she was responding the way he wanted?

“Do you really want to know?” He snapped back, nervously massaging his temples. Oh Lord! No, obviously not, that’s why I asked! She glared at him, edgily gritting her teeth. What on Earth could he want from her?

“What? You know what? No, I don’t want to know. Just get lost for God’s sake!” She cried out in horror and was about to break down in front of that weirdo. After all, she was just a twenty-one-year-old girl who had previously discovered that she could freeze things and create icicles and snowflakes with her bare hands. Unfortunately, she couldn’t figure out how to use her powers safely. For starters, she hurt some innocent pedestrians who slipped on the frozen puddles which she had created when she was trying out her unknown abilities. After that, she hurt her own sister because she wasn’t able to control the explosions. It was too much for her at once. It hadn’t been even a week or so that she found out about her ability and she had already caused so much pain.

On top of that, there was that anime-like guy with his constant questioning who was slowly driving her crazy. Half of what he had said didn’t make any sense. Or at least, not to her and she was too tired to make an attempt to understand what he was trying to do with her.

“My name is Min Yoongi but most people know me as Jack Frost.” He announced flatly, looking incredibly bored like he had said the exact same introduction for the hundredth times already. He even yawned in annoyance!

Joohyun couldn’t have been more dumbfounded. Did he really expect to know any Min Yoongi? Let alone a so-called Jack Frost? Was he really going to a MondoCon as she assumed? Was Jack Frost an anime character?

“Well, it does ring a bell but I’m not sure. Are you a famous therapist?” Joohyun guessed with a shrug of her shoulder. That Yoongi guy was more than hurt by her response. He gasped like he was some world famous superstar that she hadn’t heard of. Oh please, she had enough drama to deal with lately, she didn’t need to deal with people like him.

“No.” He shook his head after he got over his sulking. “I’m a Guardian.”

“A what?” She yelped, trying hard not to laugh out loud. Yeah, sure, that boy was a guardian. But a guardian of what? The British Queen? And what was that supposed to do with his offer to help her?

“A Guardian.” He repeated impatiently, pronouncing the world slowly and clearly like he assumed that she was merely too stupid to know the meaning of the word. She rolled her eyes in response. “Along with Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Sandman and Santa Claus. I believe I don’t have to introduce them but I’m the Guardian of Fun and I’m capable of manipulating ice and snow.” He added with a mischievous smile and Joohyun had to realize that this was the first time she saw him smiling. She couldn’t deny there was something far too attractive about the small curves of his lips but when she noticed she was staring at him, she shifted her gaze to the ground instead.

“So… you’re like me?” She whispered coyly instead of making a total idiot out of herself for gazing at him. There was an uncomfortable pause after her sudden question and when that Jack guy finally spoke, his voice came out hoarse.

“Well, we’re still not sure what are you and why do you have the ability to freeze things…” He suddenly stopped, probably not sure what to say but then, he cleared his throat and continued. “But yeah, we’re quite the same. Except that I’m more than 300 years old and exactly know how to control my power.”

Joohyun nearly fainted after the jaw-dropping confession. She had to close her eyes for a second to straighten her thoughts. It was too much for her. It was all too much. She wanted to reassure herself that all he said was a big, fat lie. There was not even a bloody person on Earth who could have been more than 300 years old! It was just too surreal and unbelievable. On the other hand, everything seemed to be possible after she had realised that she was able to freeze things and create snow. That seemed impossible a week before but now she had to come to terms with her newfound power and all its downhills.

“Prove it!” Joohyun spoke up abruptly, wanting to see for herself if he said the truth or lied the whole dawn time. “Show me what you can do!”

The Guardian didn’t seem to mind her request yet he carefully looked left and right before he reached his hand out and pointed at a puddle which slowly froze. If it wasn’t enough of an evidence, he walked one step closer and created tiny snowflakes above Joohyun’s head. She stared at him open-mouthed, not knowing what would be appropriate to say in such a situation. She was ready to confront him if he was bluffing but she wasn’t ready to face him if he told the truth for real.

“O-okay…” She murmured embarrassedly while looking into the boy’s eyes which were full of mischievous playfulness. He enjoyed it, she realised. He was capable of such an ominous thing and he was smiling! How could he to do that? To know that he can hurt others with his power? Still, he remained totally calm and reassuring. His eyes had these bright sparks which looked like little shooting stars hovering on the sky.

“Well, I know it’s a little too much but I’m really trying to help. Once, I was in your shoes and I know it’s not easy.” That Jack guy explained suddenly much more patient than ever, however Joohyun suddenly felt cornered. It was all too much at once. It was all too sudden.

“I don’t need help, guide whatsoever Frost−“ She said ironically, it was her way to defend her. She started building defensive walls around herself, so that no one would get in. After what had happened to Yerim, she knew she shouldn’t get close to anyone. She wanted to persuade herself that she didn’t need help but obviously she did. She was just too afraid and headstrong to admit it.

“Excuse me!” The boy looked puzzled after her sudden change of mind but at the same time he seemed more worked up because of his new nickname. Joohyun knew that she was probably too much but she was more than devastated by the fear that she could hurt him. She didn’t in the least intend to do so even though he was confusing her more than ever. But she really didn’t know how to deal with her power and that’s why she tried to push him away.

“I’m serious. Get lost!” She tried to dismiss him while she ruffled her hair in frustration but immediately put her hands back into her pocket. She was almost pleading because she didn’t want to take more shame and pain.

“You really want to learn the hard way?” The Jack guy looked at her, making his doubt clear. A half-knowing, half-confused look came into his eyes while his voice was full of clumsy fondness.

“You really don’t get it?” Joohyun yelled agitatedly, her voice slightly shaking. She couldn’t hold herself back, not anymore. Everything that happened to her in the previous weeks was weighing down on her and she wanted to shake off those painful memories so badly.

“I’m dangerous, I can hurt you. Well, I don’t want to but I still can. Look what happened to my sister! I didn’t want to hurt her but I freaked out and that thing just came out of my hands and it stroke her in the heart. And now she’s in the emergency room and doctors are still trying to save her life…” She freaked out, her whole body trembling with great fear. The sudden outburst wasn’t intended but under the pressure of the boy’s demanding gaze, she couldn’t help herself. She needed to let it out.

When your biggest enemy is your own mind, it’s hard to fight it. She also wanted to tell those voices in her head to shut up but they wouldn’t listen. So, she wanted to push him away before things get even more out of control.

“I appreciate your effort but it’s for your own sake. Believe me, you don’t want to be by my side.” Joohyun shook her head decisively but Jack looked persistent. He seemed more than confident, hands still tugged into his pockets, looking straight into her eyes.

“It’s up to me whether I would like to be by your side or not.” He declared stiffly and dropped a sigh in insecurity. Joohyun assumed that she scared him enough yet he didn’t show any sign of fear. He didn’t even budge.

The more she stared at him, the more her heart started to thump. She felt the blood running through her veins, the voices in her head screaming even louder and more furiously. Her hands began to shake. She couldn’t take it anymore; the fear overcame her confidence and before she could realise what she was doing, she defensively held her hands up in front of her face and felt the usual energy which came when creating something icy. Oh no!

She shifted her attention to the boy who was holding an icicle in his hands, eyes widened in both surprise and relief. Joohyun brought her hands to her mouth, not sure what to say or do. However, Jack Frost seemed perfectly calm and unharmed, thus he was the first to break the silence.

“You see, I can take care of myself.” He admitted with a smug grin, throwing away the already melting icicle. When their eyes met, his gaze wasn’t resentful, not even a little but her heart wasn’t at peace. Even though she didn’t hurt him this time, she could still have. “Come on! I’ll take you somewhere and teach you how to control your power.” He offered matter-of-factly but he didn’t even show sympathy or care. He was just a boy who tried to help but not even in the least intended to get emotionally closer to her. Well, that’s good for me, right? No emotions, no doubts.

Jack Frost reached his hand out to her and she only hesitated for a moment before she took it. When you think that you’re a monster, you feel that there’s no one whom you can trust. Not even yourself. So how you can trust someone who’s just as distant and cold-hearted as you are?

The answer is pretty easy: you can’t. But you still have to.

[linguisticswithlester]

Let Me Memorize Your Eyes - Chapter 5: Empty Name Tag

Rating: Not Rated

Word Count: 2734

Warnings:  VERBAL/MENTAL ABUSE MENTIONED AND A BREIF MENTION OF HOMOPHOBIA

Note: So sorry for no upload on Thursday. I have so much stuff going on with school and work that uploading twice a week is not a good idea. So instead, ill be uploading every Monday (or I'll try too). I hope you all enjoy this chapter, its a little longer and I actually enjoy this one. Im going to try and speed things up from now on in the story so prepare for that because im ready for the dnp angst.

Summary: Phil is a struggling artist with bruised trust and Dan is a talented baker working in a coffee shop trying to forget his smoldering past. When their paths cross will Dan end up being Phil’s new muse? Or will he be the one thing keeping Phil from putting brush to canvas ever again?

[Read on AO3]

[Read from the beginning] 

    Phil was laying on top of his unmade bed trying to fall asleep in the heat of summer but, sleep wasn’t going to make its appearance tonight. Rolling over, Phil let out a sigh; today was rough. It started out with an email that may change his life, he actually drew something so that was a start; he saw a cute boy and didn’t completely make a fool of himself. So that was an upside. That café has been in his life for a while so it’s just about time something embarrassing happen. Phil’s just waiting for it to hit.

   Phil has been going to that café for just around two months. His coffee maker broke around that time and going to the shop to replace it wasn’t on Phil’s list of most important to-dos. He always passed by it on his way home from work throughout the week anyway. So he figured he’d give it a go after day three without coffee.

    He knew Becca and Will, well he knew their names but, that still counts. He would talk to them from time to time and they had his order down to a science. They were the only two employees that have worked there since Phil started going. The other employees always end up leaving after a few weeks for reasons Phil had no idea about.

    The café was cute and quaint. It had a homey feel to it; it looked as if a grandma decorated it and the owners never bothered to change it. It reminded him of home, with his parents, before he decided to move out and move in with Andrew all those years ago. That move was the spark of his creativity but, it also was the destruction. Everything that made Phil, stemmed from Andrew. The way Phil wore is hair, the clothes he wore, the shows he watched. Everything that Phil knew was because of him.

    They had met when Phil was right out of high school. Phil was naïve and still figuring stuff out but, Andrew swept him off his feet and never set him back down. He was a sweet talker and made Phil feel things that no one ever has. He made him feel safe and secure and when people would pick on Phil for his sexuality, he stood up for him and made him feel like nobody matter but him. Until, that trait made a turn for the worst. Everything Phil did had to revolve around Andrew. When Phil woke up, when he went to bed, how he did the laundry. Andrew wanted everything to be perfect, even Phil. He would scold Phil if anything was out of place.

    And that was the thing, Andrew would say the meanest, rudest things to Phil, yet he thought he deserved it. Andrew was Phil’s first love and Phil wanted to keep him as long as he could. After fights, Andrew would come back and apologize; making Phil feel special again. He would cry and say sweet things trying to make up for what was said previously.  Phil tried his best to be everything Andrew wanted but, being something you’re not is a lot of unnecessary work.

    Towards the end of their eight-year relationship, Phil finally saw what Andrew was and everything he had done to Phil. Andrew would never lay a hand on Phil in a violent manner, but Andrew tried his best to ruin Phil’s brain. Phil wasn’t a puppet, where one could grab his strings. He wasn’t a science project that needed revision. He was Phil. He was imperfect and messy; he made stupid puns that no one laughs at and cries watching animal planet. But that is okay, because that is Phil. It took him such a long time to realize that but, once he did. He knew he had to leave.  

    A single tear fell from Phil’s eye landing on his pillow in princess fashion, wiping away the trail it left on his face, Phil dug himself out of the hole that he crawled himself back into. It was hard not dwelling on memories that took up so much of your life. It took Phil so long to realize to that he was worth fight for. He began seeing a therapist that helped him through some of his doubts after he left Andrew. Phil still sees her from time to time, when he thinks he needs to. Five months isn’t a long time to get over an abusive relationship, but it was a start and that’s all Phil needed; a start. Painting used to be his release because he could see the light at the end of the tunnel but now, the light is gone and all there is grey. He can still make out shapes and some memories but there is an overcast refusing to move. Picking up a paintbrush was hard but, letting the dark memories of his past control him was harder.

    Refusing to let another memory cloud his eyesight, he got out of bed. Leaving the covers ruffled and the pillows thrown about, Phil slipped into an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts he didn’t really care about and set out on a mission. Five months may not be a long time to get over an abusive ex but it sure was enough time to lose everything you once thought you could place. Checking under the bed, the bathroom closest, the lounge, and finally on the top shelf of the hallway closet, Phil found what he was looking for; his canvas.

    Grabbing one down from the shelf, he also grabbed his easel that was propped in the corner, and headed back into his room. Phil laid down an old sheet across the floor and set up the easel placing the canvas delicately on top. Rushing about, Phil, gathered up paintbrushes, paint, his color tray, and anything else that he thought he might need. Grabbing his apron that hung with his jackets that he hasn’t needed in months, Phil loosely tied it around the back.

    Staring at the blank canvas, with a paintbrush in hand is something Phil hasn’t done in months but, to back in this position felt right. It was like everything that he had been suppressing and hiding away was diminishing. Every swipe of the brush that touched the canvas erased another memory of Andrew yelling. Every changed color made every foul word that Phil ever thought about himself because of Andrew, vanish. Every time he blended and added dimension to the picture, his past blurred and a brighter future came forward to say Hi.

    Furiously brushing the paint back and forth; blending here and adding shadows there, Phil had finally finished his painting. Taking a step back to see what became of his sleepless night, Phil gasped. He didn’t really pay much attention to what he was painting, or more like who he was painting. His thoughts had taken over and his hands did the rest.

    The mystery boy with no name became what the canvas was showcasing. A chipped smile, unruly Hersey curls, and an outdated purple apron filled the once empty piece of fabric. It was beautiful for only having seen the man for a brief passing of time just that morning. Was Phil really staring at him? He could have sworn he only glanced up occasionally… right?

    Inspecting the portrait, the boy was looking down at his right shoulder, curls flowing over his eyebrows. On the right side of his chest was an empty name tag tugging on the strap of his apron that had been worn by many. The boy was sporting a smirk that showed his top teeth but, his eyes just weren’t right. There was something off about them. Phil tried remembering how the boy looked at him handing him his coffee that morning but, all Phil saw was a missing name.

     How could he have memorized that boys face so well but, not memorize his eyes?

                                                          ______

         Dan has been at the café for a little over a week now and it’s not as bad as it was in the beginning. He is getting along well with his coworkers; Becca still talks a lot but she’s running out of new information to gossip about and Will, well, Will’s still an idiot. Dan clocked out of his shift a few minutes after he was supposed to; they always have a rush right at four o’clock. He can’t seem to understand why April always has him leave at such an odd time. It gets a little chaotic trying to switch over current orders to the next person.

    Dan hung up his apron and walked to his locker. There wasn’t much he kept in there; just his phone, wallet and, keys. Grabbing his belongings, he headed for the door. Shouting goodbyes once again to other workers he could finally call acquaintances, he pushed open the old wooded door making the bell above it chime in goodbyes. Turning left out of the building, Dan clicked the home button on his phone, lighting up the screen. No new messages.

    He didn’t know what he was expecting but, something at least would have been nice. A text or phone call, just to let him know she was alright. Dan’s girlfriend had been on vacation for the last few weeks and he’s only heard from her a couple times. Her friends are better at letting him know she’s safe than she is. She can update Instagram just fine but, sending a text to her boyfriend was apparently too hard. Dan punched in her number on the dimming screen and raised it to his ear.

    Ring.

   We’re sorry but, the person you are trying to reach right now ca-

    Click.

    Wow, how surprising…Shoving his phone into his back pocket, Dan let out a breath. Relationships were hard but, they were even harder when one half of it forgets they’re in one. Thinking of all the things he was going to say to her when, if, she calls, Dan pulled down his long-sleeved shirt he had rolled up by his elbows and wrapped them around his hands. It may have been summer, and it may have been hot but, Dan was going to wear whatever the hell he felt like wearing.

    Scrunching his hands into fists to keep the sleeves in place, Dan picked up his speed. He didn’t live too far from his work place; just a few blocks down actually. He recently moved to the area after what had happened back home. The memory still burned but, he was healing, mentally and physically. Clinching his fists tighter, as his hidden scars started to sting as if on que, he looked up.

    Just when his eyes started to focus after his quick head lift, he spotted a fringe. It was black and looked smooth to the touch. Headphones around the owner’s ears with the cord running over the man’s chest, splitting in half the yellow star that took up most of his red shirt, created a ruffle in the otherwise tame hair. He wasn’t walking particularly fast, nor was he walking slow. He was walking with a sway of his hips and his hands twitching to what Dan assumed was with the rhythm of the music he was listening to through the headphones that canceled out the rest of the world.

    “Do I know him? Why does he look familiar? Those glasses look too big for his he-” Dan thought to himself as the man walked right past him without adverting his eyes anywhere but to right in front of him.  

“One L!” Dan said out loud, quickly reaching up and putting a hand over his mouth, thankful that the man was wearing headphones. It was the man from earlier in the week. Dan hadn’t seen him in the café since then. In all honesty, Dan was kind of disappointed. There was something about how focused and committed that man with one “L” was about what he was working on that inspired Dan. And he wouldn’t mind seeing his face again…

    Dan glanced back to get one more look at the man that put a trance on him for some reason. He has never seen someone that looks quite like that man. He has a unique face, one that Dan wanted to get to know. Before Dan started his in depth analysis of a stranger’s face, his phone started to vibrate. He took out his phone and looked at his screen.

Incoming Call: Carol  

Shit.

    Dan rolled his eyes, swiped right and, answered the call just as he was throwing open the door leading into the building leading to his flat. Stepping carefully up the stairs, Dan said, “Hey Carol! How’s your vacation going so far?”

“Oh my god! It’s been so much fun! The beach is amazing and I never want to leave.” Carol replied, although it was hard to hear with the loud music playing in the background. “Although, Kristen said you’ve been messaging her all week. Can’t you just let me enjoy my vacation without having to check in on me every second of everyday?” Dan heard a squawk of girls in the background all chanting in agreement to what Carol had just said, as she let out a giggle to make what she said not seem so spiteful. He could tell they have already started drinking.

    Dan’s eyes dropped and his head followed. Right outside of his flat’s door, dropping his keys from the now unlocked brass handle, Dan laid his forehead against the off-white door.

    “Yeah, Okay Carol. I just wanted to make sure you were all right and that you were having a good time. I care about you and wanted to make sure you were safe. But it seems as if you would rather talk to literally anybody else than your actual boyfriend. What’s up with that?”

    Dan had been having doubts about his relationship for a few months now. Carol never seemed to care what Dan was up to and never asked how he was anymore. Movies were painful to watch, dinner was always half eaten, and anything past a pat on the back was uncomfortable. They didn’t have a falling out; there was no mention of cheating. Carol changed though and their interests contradicted each other.  

    She became more herself and for that Dan was proud. He had been trying to get her to see her worth for years, even before they started dating. However, unfortunately for him, her new found self didn’t leave time for an outdated Daniel. Dan did his rediscovery, now it was her turn. If she wanted space, he would give it to her.

    Before Carol had a chance to get defensive and place the blame on Dan, he said, “Hey Listen, I know that you want to have fun and enjoy the beach. I understand that; I just want you to know I love you and I want you to be safe. I’m a phone call away if you need me. Love you and I’ll talk to you when you get back. Bye Carol.”

Click.

    He hung up before she had a chance to reply. Her new found self wanted to do all these new and adventurous things that Dan would never dream of doing. She held a little bit of resentment because of it. She wanted this fun life full of Instagram worthy pictures with Dan by her side but, Dan was okay playing Mario-Kart in the living room until 1am and talking walks through the same parks. He tried to be what she wanted but, his dreams kept him in Manchester. Everything he had ever worked for was there.

    Pushing his unlocked door open, a cool breeze coming from his flat brushed past him. He was one of the lucky ones to find a flat that had AC. He threw his keys on the breakfast bar in the kitchen and headed to his bedroom. Not bothering to take his shoes off, Dan fell face first into his bed, letting out a sigh. Dan’s eyes started closing and his head started to clear when –

Bzz-bzz-bzz

April: Hey Dan. Sorry to bother you after work but, I need to talk to you about your schedule. We have had somebody else quit and I need to move you to our evening shift.

Ugh.

[lance-brady]

shut the front door she finally wrote an intro in a timely fashion

the paparazzi have spotted lawrence brady, the twenty-eight year old actor who’s currently working as dr. jake bishop on paloma general. the tabloids have called them formidable and ambitious, but also calculating and stoic. during their time in the spotlight, they’ve been dubbed the tempest.

(tw: death, violence, gambling addiction, guns, general assholery)

i need to stop winging these but whatevs

okey dokey so this time we have lawrence james brady

he was born in bel-air, california, to super rich parents arthur and helen brady

probably won’t realise you’re talking to him if you call him lawrence – lance or brady is probs your best bet

he’s the oldest of three kids, with a younger brother and sister (who he’s super protective over)

okay now for the fun part (or not so fun?? depends whose side you look at it from)

so the brady bunch are absolutely nothing like the brady bunch. think more the peaky blinders

the brady family are incredibly well-off, but they didn’t exactly come about their money in the most legitimate fashion. there’s a more in-depth backstory at the bottom of lance’s bio page here but tldr:

papa arthur was involved in gambling and owed a lot of money to the wrong people. by dealing with the issue and disposing of the problem, he gained a reputation for himself. there was one incident after the birth of his 3 kids, when his wife was shot and killed by a bullet intended for him, leaving the kids without a mother.

his youngest son is serving a stretch in prison for multiple counts of grand larceny, extortion and assault. whilst arthur’s daughter remains on the right side of the law, for the most part, lawrence has had more than a few run-ins.

frequently through school, he was involved in fights and was suspended on more than one occasion.

as he got older, lawrence learned to deal with matters while keeping his own hands clean. he’s the literal definition of ‘it’s not what you know, it’s who you know’. dirty cops, drug dealers, contract killers – you name it, lance probably knows a guy. that way, he keeps his hands – and more importantly, his reputation – clean, but still gets the job done. it’s a side to him that almost nobody knows, except for his family.

the side of him that everybody knows, however, is the rugged, stoic actor.

acting for lawrence began when he was essentially forced into being a stage-hand for a school production as punishment after being suspended – a sort of community service, if you will.

he found that he actually enjoyed it, but was more intrigued by what was happening on the stage than backstage. the next time around, he auditioned and surprised everybody with his talent. drama was his outlet in a way. it was a place that he could express himself and forget about his own life for a moment. towards the end of school, he used it as an escape from confrontational situations, knowing that he needed to pass and couldn’t afford to keep being suspended. he kept his head down and kept himself to himself.

choosing to forgo college, he headed straight for an acting career. like most, it began with minor roles as extras, and then secondary characters in tv shows and movies, but it didn’t take long for his career to kick off. he was starring in commercials, music videos, tv shows and movies left right and centre.

between (roughly) 2009-2014, lance found himself working as drew erickson on a show called afterlife. the attentive ones of you will recognise this as the same show that our very own addie was also in. the pair were (and still are) super super close, having been in a pr relationship for multiple years during filming.

fast-forward to now and lance finds himself working with addie once again, this time as dr jake bishop on paloma general.

for the perfect idea of lance’s personality, just think of tommy shelby from peaky blinders. that’s literally lance.

he’s stoic, calculating, and super ambitious.

super selective about who he chooses to let into his circle. like, you should be honoured if he actually attempts to make conversation with you

famous for his signature eyebrow raise and frosty glare that he gives when a) he thinks you’re talking bullshit or b) he couldn’t care less about what you’re saying and is asking whether you’re done

he’s secretive and seems quiet – it’s only because he knows that the less people know about him, the better strategic advantage he has over them

despite all of this, he’s incredibly loyal and would literally take a bullet for his closest friends

intimidating, powerful, assertive and domineering are the most appropriate words to use to describe lance

he’s the kind of guy who you could hold a gun to his head and he’d be like ‘i’d take off that jacket, if i were you. my blood will stain the fabric, and it looks expensive’.

he def has this silent look (probs accompanied by the eyebrow raise) that basically means ‘i could crush you like a bug’.

he does actually smile sometimes? if he doesn’t hate you, you might actually get a smile

also a flirt. he’s a flirt #confirmed. except he doesn’t like, smile and wink, he just drops some dry, flirty comment and you’ll have no idea if he’s joking or not because he doesn’t smile, or laugh, he just says it and walks away

the press are always surprised bc he’s super grumpy with them but quite nice to fans and will 99% of the time take a picture or sign something for them

probs has dozens of articles written about how he can make people go weak in the knees or how he’s a lovable bad boy or some shit, idk

kids love him. idk why, idk how, but they do. he’s just surprisingly good with kids

can play the guitar!! rly well!! he frequently takes himself off somewhere to play but like. not many people know that side of him??

despite being this super badass guy he’s terrified of flying and needles. will probs pass out if he has to have a blood test (but he’s mostly okay with tattoos)

couple of connections that are definitely the same as always because i’m uncreative as hell:

enemies. probably a fair few of them

exes left right and centre. definitely broke a few hearts

all of the one night stands

someone who knows about his mad guitar skillage and has heard him strumming some sad melody or something idk

that one person who doesn’t stop making an effort with him and being nice to him, despite the fact that he’s a massive arsehole to them

the honorary younger sibling who he takes under his wing and doesn’t hate entirely

current pr relationship to try and make him look less like a heartless fucker

flirtationships!!

neighbours! def rich enough to afford to live on his own but maybe someone lives rly near to him?

idk just come love us and we can brainstorm!!

this got so long im so sorry but there’s a bio page here and i havent done a connections page yet because i’m a loser but hit me up xoxo

[bakugold]

Study Date. Pt.1 (Izuku x Reader)

A scenario in which Midoriya is helpless over you. He is completely head over heels for you, and you know it- everyone knows it. Bakugo- being Bakugo gives Midoriya a tough time about it. As soon as you show the slightest affection towards Midoriya, it's game time for Bakugo. And it's not pretty.

(Ahhh okay im not sure if im liking the way this is turning out so far, and im contemplating on deleting! Idk heres a preview of it. P L E A S E let me know what you think, and if i should continue! I just dont know if i want to continue, but i will happily continue if i receive some feedback! im not trying to be needy! Ok ok im done but enjoy!)

Word count: 2,000+(ish)

PART 2 can be found on this link!

           (Y/N). Her voice was soft, calming. She was beautiful. She knew how to use her words, she was delicate- yet fierce and strong. Her strength was the most admired thing about her to anyone, really. She knew how to fight, and was always determined to win one. Her determination was another thing that was greatly admired about her to her peers. She was going to make an amazing hero. A legend. Everyone knew it..

 “Midoriya!” Ochako chimed, waving her hand in search of Izuku’s attention. The boy snapped his head up that was once dug deep into his journal. “Yes!” He exclaimed, slamming his journal shut, in which made a sharp slapping sound. “You were so into writing, i didn't think i was ever going to get your attention,” She smiled, in a chagrined manner. Izuku chuckled, in a forced-like response because he couldn't find any words to say, as his eyes awkwardly shifted to the other students across the room, surrounding (Y/N)’s desk, asking her questions.

   “Amazing! That really happened to you? How did you even make it out alive?” “You weren't scared?” “Ah- if that were me i would have ran away and gotten help!” Questions were being thrown to her like there was no tomorrow, but this was an often occurrence, especially after she finishes explaining yet another one of her adventurous stories. “You are quite brave, (Y/N).” Todoroki nodded to her, which made Izuku flinch in reaction. Ochako tilted her head questioningly, and turned around, only to see what Izuku winced at. She sighed once she connected the dots- (Y/N).

 “She's never going to notice you if you only stare at her from the distance!” She exclaimed, crossing her arms firmly. “W-what!” Izuku jumped at her statement, responding a little bit too loudly. The class drew silent, and peered their heads into Izuku’s direction, his cheeks grew into a reddish cherry shade, and he slowly sunk into his desk in embarrassment. Quickly after, everyone proceeded with whatever it was they were doing. Izuku chucked his head in Ochako’s direction, whispering sharply, “What did you mean by that!” he questioned, loud enough for only her to hear. She giggled, covering her mouth, “It's so obvious! Seriously!” she continued to giggle, in a friendly manner. “T-tell me!” Izuku whined, pleading her by shaking her hand. “(Y/N)! I mean (Y/N).” She whispered in his ear, covering her mouth with her hand to prevent anyone from reading her lips. “Eh? What about her!” He jumped, once again. Ochako cocked her brow, giving him a smug smile. “You're being w-weird. I don’t even know her that well.” He slouched, turning his head in your direction.

“I can help you talk her if you want!” She happily implied, leaning closer to the embarrassed, flustered boy. “You'll what?” He tilted his head, in confusion. Help him.. as in, talk to (Y/N)? There was no way he could agree to such a thing. If he wanted, he could easily muster up his own courage and talk to (Y/N) himself, but he knows that he would be a stuttering mess, and only leave himself in more embarrassment than he already is in. “I could..” Ochako furrowed her eyebrows, and tapped her chin lightly with her index finger, figuring out a way to help Izuku strike up a conversation with (Y/N).

“I could ‘accidently’ bump into her! Knocking out her notebooks out of her arms! And then you come in, and help her pick them up! And then you save the day and ask her how her day is going! Ask her if you want to go grab a bite with her..” She beamed, continuing explaining the possible series of events that could occur if only Izuku would agree to do so.

Izuku scratched the nape of his neck, “Ochak-” he started, only to be interrupted. “I got it!” Ochako pointed to him, “This weekend, i could invite (Y/N), you, and a few others to my house and have a ‘study date’, and you could get to know (Y/N) more!” She excitedly clapped her hands, feeling quite astonished and accomplished with herself for coming up with such a genius plan. “I-i’m not sure about this, Ochako-” He nervously waved his hand, attempting to shut down her idea, but was once again, interrupted, yet this time he was interrupted by a nosey Kirishima, “Study date?” He questioned, “Mind if I join? I've really got to get my ducks in a row before the final exams! This could really help me!” Kirishima pleaded, as Ochako rubbed her elbow, eventually giving into the redhead’s plee. “Yeah, sure..” She nodded, giving Kirishima a thumbs up.

“Hey, did someone say ‘Study date?’” Mina turned her attention from (Y/N) to Kirishima, as Kirishima nodded vigorously. “Gravity girl is having a study date at her place this weekend!” He announced. Izuku- once again sank into his desk. There’s no way i’m getting out of this one, he mentally  complained to himself. “Yes!” Ochako gleamed. “You're all welcomed, if you'd like! Aoyama, Momo, Mina, (Y/N),..” She listed, on and on. Izuku’s heart stopped at the mention of (Y/N). He was so.. average. And well.. she was beyond that. He didn't even want to talk to her because he didn't want to make a fool out of himself. What if he did talk to her? Would she think she's better than him and just ignore him? Does she already like someone else? What if she already has a cooler, older boyfriend that nobody knows about? What if she's not even a real person and she's just a robot who's secretly a villain and is eventually going to take over the city- “I'd love to go!” (Y/N)’s voice completely snapped Izuku out of his rambling thoughts, peering into her direction. “I could use the extra study. These exams aren't going to be easy.” She nodded firmly to Ochako, whose face was beaming with joy. “Y-yes! See you then!” Ochako waved, immediately facing Izuku after their encounter. “Now you have to come! She's definitely going to be there!” Ochako whispered to Izuku, who was completely at a loss for words. “Can we talk! Privately!” Izuku sharply questioned the overly excited girl.

The pair walked outside of the classroom, before Izuku could even speak, Ochako immediately began, “Don't worry about it, Midoriya! It's just a study date! You don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with.” She patted his left shoulder. He sighed in relief. “I know you're trying to help me with (Y/N), but it's not that simple- And! I really appreciate your help! I do!” He exclaimed, as his face fell into a frown. “It's...impossible for her to be into someone like me, though.” He muttered, dipping his head in embarrassment. “You haven't given it a chance!” The girl stated. “You never know, (Y/N) could find you really cute!-” She explained a little too loudly.

From the corner of the hallway, Bakugo approached the pair, walking towards them only to enter his classroom.

“K-Kacchan!” Izuku nearly screamed, realizing the spikey-blonde headed boy may have heard everything he and Ochako were talking about.

“(Y/N), eh?” Bakugo lifted his chin, only to reveal a deathly grin. “Where did you even come from?!” Ochako questioned, clenching her fists. She was not about to put up with Bakugo and his child-like antics.

“I had to take a piss.” He replied bluntly, turning his head back to Izuku’s direction, who was trembling at this point. “And you're right, Deku. It is impossible for a girl like (Y/N) to ever be into someone like you.” Bakugo leaned into Izuku’s face, giving him a long, cold stare. “Just drop whatever fantasies you have about her. It's pathetic.” Bakugo turned his head to Ochako, tilting his head and began to chuckle. “And you're in on this? Helping this dumbass get with a girl who's clearly way out of his league!” He shook his head, slowly walking back into his classroom.

“You're wrong!” Izuku shouted, surprising himself. He was used to Kacchan’s hurtful words, his childish banter. But.. this was different. Kacchan was talking about a girl Izuku had strong feelings for. Even though Izuku would never admit it. Even though they’ve hardly spoken in the past. Izuku- being an extremely observant person, has gotten to know (Y/N) through her mannerisms, the way she acts around others, and with herself, by just observing her throughout the long hours of class.

Bakugo snapped his head in surprise, due to Midoriya’s unusual back talk.

The ash-blonde boy towered over Izuku, attempting to threaten Izuku with their height difference.

“G-get away from him!” Ochako yelled, in helpless attempt to break whatever conflict that was going on between the two.

“What was that? Huh, Deku?” Bakugo’s voice was the deepest it's ever been. Izuku stepped a few feet behind him, trying to give himself space.

Izuku stayed silent, just to avoid getting pushed or punched in the jaw from the boy hovering over him. He looked up at Kacchan with his chin dipped to his chest, Izuku opened his mouth to explain himself.

“That's what i thought.” Bakugo spat. He turned around and walked inside of the classroom, giving a ‘tsk’ sound, before he rolled his eyes and entered the room.

Ochako and Izuku fell silent. They didn't even know what to say to each other at that point. Bakugo simply left them at a loss for words due to his harsh words.

Izuku looked up at Ochako, who was already staring at Izuku, with a tense and concerned expression on her face.

“I-” Ochako begun, holding her hands together tightly behind her back.

“This is stupid. I knew this whole idea would be stupid.” Izuku stated, his heart sinking as he realised Ochako lightly winced at his words.

“No! N-Not you! I mean.. Bakugo. He.. sure knows how to tear my confidence.” Izuku tried to lighten the mood by chuckling at his last remark, which wasn't intended to be funny at all.

“We'll show him! Once you win (Y/N) over! He'll regret he ever said those mean words to you!” Ochako gripped Izuku’s shoulders, which took him by surprise. He only gave her a firm nod, not wanting to speak any further on the matter.

“We should go back in. Before Aizawa notices were gone..” Izuku stated, opening the door slowly for Ochako to enter before him. “Yeah.” The girl nodded, walking into the classroom.

The words that Bakugo spat at Izuku couldn't stop replaying through his head.

She would never be into someone like you.

Izuku was already aware of the fact it was impossible for him to win over you. This was old news to him. However, for Izuku to listen to someone verbally say it to his face like that broke him. His heart sank deeper and deeper for each time he replayed those words through his brain. He knew Ochako was just trying to be a good friend, and encourage him to speak to you, but he couldn't help to feel annoyed with the whole idea of even trying to talk to you. Bakugo was right. She would never be into someone like me. Why even attempt? It would be useless. But, because he knew deep down Ochako went through the trouble of inviting their classmates over to her home for a ‘study date’, Izuku felt obliged to at least attend that. After all, she did say he didn't have to do anything he was uncomfortable with, and after all, they are just studying. That was the only reason (Y/N) was going to Ochako’s house in the first place. Nothing more or nothing less. A study date.

[tomhsparker]

new rules - tom holland imagine #5

about : tom hates your ex boyfriend. like really hates your ex boyfriend. 

warning : very cheesy dialogue, angry/sad tom, a lotta swearing!

notes : so dua lipa’s new song, new rules, really got me feeling like i miss an ex i never had. hence, i decided to write this. it’s really cheesy and im not v proud of it, but im gonna post it anyways. enjoy!

----

“Talkin' in my sleep at night, makin' myself crazy.”

You gasped, sitting up in your bed. Sweat rolled down your forehead, your back, everywhere. Images of your dream came running through your mind and your heart dropped.

It had been about five weeks since your breakup with your ex boyfriend. Back then, he seemed like the perfect man to you. He was charming and funny. His chocolate brown eyes and his radiant smile practically drew you in. If someone told you six months ago that he would break your heart, you would’ve refused to believe them. In your mind, he was a perfect angel.

An angel just for you, and not anyone else.

Or so you thought.

On the day of your six months anniversary, you had planned a wonderful home-made dinner at home. A bowl of spaghetti sat on your dinner table, which eventually grew colder as the hours passed. You told Eric to come over at 7, but it was already nearing midnight and he was nowhere to be seen.

Exasperated, you poured the remainder of the red wine bottle in your cup and downed it in ten seconds. You couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t going to come. Tossing your phone aside, you gave up on texting and calling him. It wasn’t like he was going to reply anyways. You stood up from the dinner table and grabbed the spaghetti bowl. Stomping over towards your trashcan, you threw it into the bin furiously. Your head was at a disarray and anger bubbled in your heart.

You were livid. What was he doing that was more important than you?

Grabbing your smartphone and a coat, you walked out of your tiny apartment and into your car. If he wasn’t going to come to you, you were going to him. This wasn’t the first time he had ditched either, so you were even more pissed off by the fact that he did this to you.

You reached his house in a matter of minutes, but what you saw made your heart shatter into a trillion pieces.

There he was, standing outside his apartment building, with a beautiful blonde girl in his arms. His lips were hungrily attacking hers, along with his hands intertwined in her hair. You soon recognized the girl as your best mate, Alice.

You weren’t sure what you were feeling, but you knew you had to get out of there as quick as possible. Reversing, you sped away from the heart-wrenching scene.

Somehow, you weren’t very surprised by the sight. You knew deep down, he was going to find someone new.

“My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else

But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself.”

After that night, you broke off all ties with Eric. Although you knew better, a small part of you still missed him. And it seemed like Eric did too, since he kept trying to call and text you. You almost caved in several times, but you were grateful that you had someone to always stop you from doing so.

Picking up your phone from the nightstand, you unlocked it and scrolled through your contacts. You put the phone against your ear after clicking the ‘call’ icon.

“Hello?” A groggy voice came after three rings.

“Tom, can I come over? I don’t think I can sleep,” you asked, slipping out of your bed.

“Y/N? Yeah sure, come over. But you do realise it’s literally 3 am in the morning?” Tom groaned, some shuffling from his own duvet filled your ears.

“I know, I’m sorry. But I need a nice Holland hug right now,” you chuckled.

Tom merely hummed and told you to stay safe before you hung up. Throwing on a hoodie, you wore your trainers and in a few minutes, you were out the door. The cold London air made the hair on your arms stand even though you were wearing a hoodie. Jogging over to your car, you unlocked it quickly and drove off.

One, don't pick up the phone

You know he's only calling 'cause he's drunk and alone

When Tom opened the door, the first thing he did was envelop you in a hug. The cold winter weather made you shiver, so the Holland hug was super helpful. You melted into his arms, sighing in relief. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you snuggled your head into his chest. His head rested on top of yours and the both of you stood outside his house, in complete but comfortable silence.

You broke out of the hug first, enjoying the welcoming yet tiring smile on his face. Tom took your arm and led you into the house, letting you walk in first before locking the door. You slipped off your shoes, making sure to be extremely quiet. The Holland household was so eerily silent since everyone was asleep.

“Want a cup of tea?” Tom sleepily asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Nah, I’m good. Let’s just go to bed,” you said, already walking towards Tom’s room.

“G-go to bed?” Tom stuttered, jogging after you.

Turning the knob to his door, you nodded.

“I can’t sleep so I wanted to sleep with you.”

You froze and cringed, realising how awkward that sounded. Turning around slowly, you were greeted by a blushing Tom.

“T-That’s not what I meant. I meant,” now you were stumbling on your words too. Tom hid his face behind his hands and you could feel your own cheeks turn pink. You started to feel dumb as you entered his room, falling face first onto  his bed.

A soft giggle sounded beside you and you groaned, using Tom’s pillow to cover the back of your head. Soon, the both of you were laughing a bit too hardly and too long for a joke like that. The bed sunk in beside you as you simmered down, finally stopping your laughter. You were about to ask him to scoot over when you felt the phone in your pocket vibrate. Flipping over, you took the phone out from your pocket and looked at the screen. The smile on your face instantly vanished and you could feel your heart palpitating.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You showed him your phone and a glare replaced Tom’s worried look. Snatching your phone from your hands, he pressed the decline button. Almost a few seconds after Tom hung up, Eric’s name flashed through the screen again.

“Tom, I’ll just - “ you were trying to take back your phone but Tom held his other arm out, blocking you from taking it back. He stood up and pressed the answer function. You gasped and hobbled over the bed, whispering for Tom to hang up.

‘Hey, asshole. Listen to me, you piece of shit. I’m saying this once and once only. Call Y/N one more time and I promise, you’ll never see daylight ever again. You didn’t deserve her, and you never will. So stop calling,” Tom spat, his voice dripping with venom. He didn’t even give a chance for Eric to answer as he hung up.

For a moment, Tom stood beside his bed with the phone clutched tightly in his hand. His chest heaved with heavy breaths and his jaw was clenched. The muscles on his arms protruded and you could see the veins on his neck popping. He was pissed.

You kept quiet, not knowing what to say. Without thinking, you spoke softly.

“You didn’t have to do that. I was handling him well enough.”

Tom laughed humorously, “what did you even see in him?”

Staring at your hands, you shrugged.

“He was nice,” you answered pathetically, refusing to look at Tom. You could feel his stare piercing through your skin.

“So was I.”

“Two, don't let him in

You'll have to kick him out again.”

“What does that mean?” you questioned, finally looking up.

Tom let out another humourless laugh, putting down your phone on his desk while pacing up and down his room.

“How do you not know? God, I dropped so many hints,” Tom said, his voice quivering slightly, “and you don’t have a clue.”

You watched him walk about in his room, feeling your heart thumping in your chest.

“I don’t understand,” you mumbled.

Tom stopped and let his hands fall onto his sides, a defeated look on his face.

“I’m fucking in love with you, Y/N. Always have been. And it hurt watching you fall in love with someone who clearly didn’t love you back. Do you know how it feels to see you cry over some dick that never loved you? When all along it was me who loved you?”

By this time, he was panting. His soft brown eyes that you had grown to love were filled with unshed tears, threatening to spill. You stayed silent, completely stunned.

“Do you have any idea how much it fucking hurt to hear you talk about Eric and how much you want him back even though you knew you shouldn’t? Every day I have to tell you that you deserve better than him and it stings. I have to control myself whenever I’m around you, because I know you will never love me back.  I can’t,” he stopped and wiped a tear rolling down his cheek, “I can’t believe that even after three years of knowing you, I’m still in love with you. When you clearly don’t feel the same.”

“And it doesn’t matter anymore because you love Eric. I don’t even - I don’t even know why I try. I guess I’m just not good enough for you.”

You rose from the bed, walking over towards Tom. His eyes were trained on the ground as he cried silently, more and more tears falling. Your heart was sinking at the sight of the usually bubbly and happy boy crying. Holding his face, you whispered for him to look up.

When you looked into his eyes, it finally hit you like a tidal wave.

It made sense now.

The hugs that would last too long, the ditzy smiles, the frequent flowers he got you, the lingering stares and the constant compliments.

You always thought he did it because he was your best friend. It was his duty to love you. You didn’t know he loved you like that.

And you were fucking glad for that. You always felt the same way.

You hid your feelings for Tom because you knew you weren’t good enough for him. Tom was an actor, on his way to becoming a well-known celebrity. Thousands of girls were also in pursuit for his love, so you tried to get over your feelings for him by going out with Eric. You were so scared of loving Tom, in fear of rejection.

He needed someone who was as successful as him, so he won’t be dragged down. He needed someone as beautiful as he was, inside and out.

You were none of that.

But after hearing his own confession, a weight finally lifted off your shoulders.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, your voice above a whisper.

Tom smiled sadly, “because I couldn’t. You loved someone else.”

“Tom,” you breathed out, “it was always you.”

He frowned, looking at you through his eyelashes.

“What?”

“Why do you think I dated Eric? Look at him. He looks like you. I only went out with him because I was trying to get over you,” you admitted, “I thought I was only a friend to you. So I started dating Eric to get you off my mind.”

“And for some reason, you still popped up in my head everyday. It’s you, Tom.”

You wiped a tear with your thumb, slowly caressing his cheek. He leaned into your hand, shutting his eyes. Closing your eyes, you leaned in and collided his lips with yours. Tom made a noise but quickly recovered, holding your neck gently as he kissed back.

This kiss felt different from any other kiss you ever had. It was sweet, gentle yet full of passion and love. All of your repressed feelings were flowing, making the kiss more meaningful.

Tom pulled away, his hand still on your neck. He opened his eyes slowly and peered at you with his doe-like eyes.

“This isn’t some rebound thing, right?”

Shaking your head, you smiled sweetly and pecked him on his lips.

His lips tasted salty, probably from the tears that he cried. Yet they were extremely soft and you knew you were gonna get addicted to kissing him.

“I’ve been waiting years to do that,” Tom grinned, his smile widening by the second.

“Ditto, Holland.”

He let his lips touch your forehead and kissed it, before leading you over to his bed. The both of you laid down as Tom tossed the duvet over the both of you. You cuddled into his larger figure, letting him wrap his arms around you.

“I’m sorry I made you wait three years,” you joked, feeling his chest rumble from his laughter.

“For you, I would’ve waited more.”

You couldn’t help but snort at his reply, “that was cheesy.”

He rolled his eyes, “you love it.”  

“As much as I hate to admit it, I do.”

[sushi-ro-ll-blog]

Comforting sex (Fell!Goth x Palette)

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT MAY HAVE SOME INAPPROPRIATE STUFFS IN IT, AND IT’S ALSO GONNA BE GROSS! WE DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR ANYTHING IF THE READERS ARE EITHER GROSSED OUT OR TRAUMATIZED! VIEWER ADVISED! THANK YOU

Characters included:

Fell!Goth (is going to be called Cupcake)

Palette

Goth (is mentioned)

Fell!Palette (is mentioned)

Reapertale!Sans (is mentioned)

Aftertale!Sans (is mentioned)

Fell!Goth’s POV

Cupcake was walking along the streets, grumbling from frustration and the fact that he was being played around like some toy. Still heartbroken, he remembered that smirk his Palette gave him as he continues to thrust into his alternate version, Goth.

Still silently crying, he went into a park, where he always go to calm down after a fight he’d had with his Palette.

Palette’s POV

Palette was in the park, sitting alone by the bench nearby a lake. His parent had been away to work again now, so he was alone. He sighed a bit, tearing up slightly. He didn’t like the feeling of being alone, not one bit. Especially when his best friend, Goth, had been missing lately, and his parents had also helped trying to find Goth, but mostly they’d be at work. Palette had also tried to search for Goth, but with no result or clue where he had gone to. He began to whimper, he missed Goth and his own family. He missed seeing Goth’s bright smile and his adorable blush whenever he’d gave him a hug. He missed his dad’s creativity and his mom’s positivity. He missed all of them. He could’ve go talk to Geno and Reaper, but then he didn’t want to be a bother to them, seeing how stressed out Reaper is even though he doesn’t express it and how worried and afraid Geno had been lately, he just didn’t have the HEART to make them more worried (Ro: Get it? Cuz he’s a skeleton and skeletons don’t have a heart ;D)

“I-I missed mom a-and dad....” Palette mumbled as his tears silently slides off his cheeks

Fell!Goth’s POV

Cupcake was also sitting on the bench, dried tears still slightly visible on his cheeks. He grumbled at how sticky and itchy his tears had made his cheeks felt. He saw a taller skeleton who’s sitting on a bench in front of him. Knowing who he was, Cupcake didn’t felt alarmed. But normally, he wouldn’t give a fuck about this Palette, but somehow he wanted to see what he was doing. It took him a minute or two to make up his mind to whether see what this version of his Palette was doing, or just let him do what the fuck he wants and continue to mope.....

Making up his decision, Cupcake stood up and quietly made his way towards Palette.

.

.

.

As he started to get a clearer look at Palette, he heard some small sobs from the younger skeleton.

“... Palette?” Cupcake called

“Y-Yes...?” Palette answered as he turn around, meeting the gaze of the other version of his Goth

“G-Goth?” Palette whimpered, but there’s a slight shine of hope in his eye sockets

“Yes... but not yours (Ro: That’s what she (he) said ;) )” Cupcake coughed slightly

“Oh.....” Palette replied, dissapointed

“.....Were you...crying” Cupcake asked

“... Y-Yes.....” Palette nodded, only now noticing how much tears he had let out.

“... Why?” Cupcake asked, thinking Palette was a crybaby, only to mentally slap himself because he was the one crying a minute ago

“M-My parents had been working a-a lot lately....b-but they had been g-g-gone for 2-3 days now after their l-last trip...” Palette stuttered slightly, almost on the verge of tears again

“Oh...” Cupcake sighed a bit, this kid... his parents only had been gone for a couple of days, and he had already been crying? While Cupcake had been living his life with no recognition, no attention and no love from his own family in his entire childhood. Yet he still managed to live to this very day. But i guess he couldn’t blame Palette because of his childlike attitude, he didn’t live in a universe like Cupcake did...

“Oh toughen the fuck up kid, just because your parents were gone for a couple of days doesn’t mean they’re dead or anything.” Cupcake rolled his eyes

Palette bit his “lips”, feeling the hot tears starting to swell on his eye sockets

Cupcake sweat dropped slightly, having no idea on how he’s going to calm Palette down, or why the hecc did he want to in the first place.

“H-Hey... Why don’t you come over to my place until your parents are back?” Cupcake suggest, mentally slapping and nsicursing at himself for leading someone who’s similar to his Palette back to his home.

“O-O-Okay......” Palette agreed, and followed Cupcake (Ro: PALETTE DEAR! DIDN’T YOUR PARENTS TOLD YOU TO NOT FOLLOW STRANGERS BACK TO THEIR HOME WITHOUT AN ADULT FAMILY MEMBER?! oh well he’s getting laid anyways  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Cupcake and Palette walked back to Cupcake’s apartment. Yes, you read it right.

Cupcake had recently moved out of his parent’s place and rented his own apartment without telling Fell!Palette (Ro: Unless he wants to get laid all day and night long all the time, you know what im saying? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Cupcake unlocks his apartment door and swtepped in with Palette following close behind

Cupcake’s place doesn’t seem that bad actually, there were red flowers and some yellow ones in a glass vase on the tables, there were couches that looks comfortable to sleep in and a flatscreen TV as well. There were other places in the apartment that Palette hadn’t yet to find out yet, but he’ll take a look later.

Although so, Palette couldn’t help but cry harder because  how homesick he’s now is..

Cupcake noticed this and began to feel annoyed. He groaned in frustration, if only he could just end Palette's life right now, but then it would end up with a vengeful Goth that would chase his ass around and try to kill him, which is impossible but he would rather be alone with a whiny Palette then having a Goth chasing after him with a scythe threatening to make him suffer.

Palette suddenly stopped crying, and was just staring blankly at the floor (Sushi: :0)

“Make yourself at home.... or whatever” Cupcake rolled his eyes awkwardly, he wasn’t used to having guests at his house without killing or torturing them.

“.... Y-You have nice h-home...” Palette complimented, smiling gently

Now that he had slightly gotten used to this apartment, he realized how clean and tidy it was, despite how small it was, it was warm and cozy. Cupcake had been taking a good care of himself.

Cupcake feels a huge pang slamming into his chest, it feels weird and new when he first heard a compliment from someone except Pudding (Ro:if they were to have sex or anything), but hearing it from someone so genuinely and innocent from someone like Palette made Cupcake feel really special and weird inside

“...Thank you" Cupcake feels a deep blush spreading across his cheeks, he pulls his red ripped scarf up to cover his ace. This feeling was new to him, and he has mixed feelings about it but he was sure that he kind of like it.

Palette smiles brightly, feeling happy all of a sudden.  

“No problem~” Palette giggled

"... Take a seat... If you want" Cupcake blushed and ran inside the kitchen

Palette kept smiling. He only looked a bit confused as Cupcake ran into the kitchen, but shrugged it off. He sat down, giggling softly.

Cupcake drew a cup of water down his throat, slamming the glass onto the counter to the point where it could've shattered, he panted heavily from the lack of air and from flustered-ness. He was honestly very confused, why was he feeling this.... feeling in him? Was it some spell Palette secretly cast on him without him knowing? 

Letting out a shaky sigh, he poured Palette a cup of water and walked out of the kitchen.

“Here. drink it” Cupcake handed Palette the cup

“Okay~” Palette cooed and drink the cup of water, swinging his legs around because he’s short as fuuuuuuuck lol.

Cupcake looks at Palette, to be honest, Palette is the cutest person that Cupcake had ever met, a small blush crept on Cupcake’s cheeks slightly.

He walked to the coffee table and walked back to Palette, handing him a tissue

“Here, wipe away your tears, kid “ Cupcake blushed slightly 

Palette hummed and did what he was told.

“You better now?” Cupcake asked

“Mhm~, thank you!” Palette hummed and giggled

Cupcake sat on the couch next to Palette. An awkward silence hung in the air for a bit. "...... you can stay here for a few days if you want..." Cupcake started, blushing madly

"Oh! Okay!! Thank you, again....hehe~ " Palette smiled and giggled

 Cupcake blushed brightly, he couldn’t hold it anymore, in a flash, he had pinned Palette down

Palette tilted his head in confusion, blushing softly.

“Shit.... stop being so cute” Cupcake panted heavily and stares at the child underneath him

“H-Huh? Why?” Palette asked, tilting his head more in confusion

Cupcake couldn’t handle it anymore, he leaned down and give Palette a passionate kiss

Palette flinched slightly, surprised but he melt into the kiss. After a few seconds, Palette felt something wet touching his “lips”, he opens his mouth, letting the thing go in as it began to explore around his mouth (Ro: let’s hope it’s not a slug lol)

After a minute, Cupcake decided to pull away to give them both some air. Cupcake panted slightly while the other version of his Palette was panting heavily.

He started to debate in his head, should he do this? Should he try to have sex with this Palette? He seemed innocent though... and he also seemed like he’s a virgin... But if he actually did something to Palette, Goth’s is going to be very mad.... But Goth wouldn’t know if nobody tell him right?

“You... wanna try something new?” Cupcake asked. blushing furiously

"H-Huh? Like wh-wh-what..?..." Palette was confused.

"uhm..... sex.." Cupcake blushed from having to explain to palette

“W-What’s that?” Palette asked in confusion, he had never heard anyone, not even Goth, mentioned about “sex”.

"uh.... where two people.. uh.... went inside each other?" Cupcake explained awkwardly

“I-Inside?” Palette is so confused af lol

“Y-Yeah..... You wanna try it? it might hurt a bit but it will feel good after?" Cupcake suggested

“O-Okay...” Palette still didn’t understand the concept of sex, but knowing that this Goth isn’t so different from the Goth he knows, he trust him.

“You sure you want to though?” Cupcake asked, event though he’s an asshole and is evil, he never was the kind to rape someone or force them against their will  (Ro: aren’t them the same? also i might have butchered that sentence lol)

“Y-Yeah” Palette nodded willingly

(WARNING: THERE’S GOING TO BE NSFW AND SOME SLIGHT GROSSNESS NEXT, IF YOU STILL WANT TO CONTINUE, THEN THAT’S YOUR FAULT!)

(Ro: I WARN YOU!)

"ok..." Cupcake sighed a bit as he began to pull his and Palette's pants down "Let's prep you up first" He said, as he starts to insert his finger into Palette's hole

Palette gasped at the feeling, flushing. He covers his mouth to suppress any noises.

Cupcake slowly and gently started to move in and out of Palette's entrance, trying to not hurt him on his first time

Palette squirmed slightly, squeezing his eyes shut 

“T-This feels w-w-weird~” He lets out a small moan

"shh...... just enjoy it" Cupcake kissed Palette passionately as his fingers begin to move faster inside Palette

Palette moaned, and cried into the kiss, his star-shaped pupils changing to hearts.

Cupcake slowly add another finger into Palette's entrance, scissoring him. Cupcake moves away from the kiss

“H-Haah~!” Palette cried slightly, he didn’t know why it felt so painful,yet pleasuring

Cupcake moves towards Palette neck, using his teeth to pull down Palette’s scarf and nibbles on his neck

“o-OH M-mY~” Palette gasped

Cupcake removes his fingers from Palette's entrance, he licked his fingers. The taste was bitter and slightly disgusting consider it came out of Palette’s BUTTHOLE, but Cupcake didn’t mind (Ro: I WARNED YOU!)

“You ready?” Cupcake asked, setting the tip of his penis in front of Palette’s hole

“Y-Yes~!” Palette gasped 

"Okay...." Cupcake panted as he slowly enters his penis into Palette's hole gently

Palette flinched in pain, and teared up. He didn't expect it to hurt this much. "I-I-It h-hurts..."

"I know it does... just hang in there and it'll be over soon..." Cupcake whispered reassuringly as he begin to move in and out of Palette slowly

"O-OwwWw!!- OwwWWW!!!-" Palette's tears started to fall, as he cried and whimpered in pain.

Cupcake began to give Palette a few love bites on his neck, trying to make him forget about the pain

Palette let out a small groan, but still whimpered.

Cupcake begins to thrust slightly harder, groaning slightly at how tight Palette was (Ro: I mean, a butthole is realy tight, and it is pretty thicc itself so... :’) )

Palette suddenly felt the pain turn into pleasure, and cried out.

Cupcake begin to thrust faster, acknowledging that the Palette that he was fucking had started to enjoy the session

"O-OH GOD!!~ IT F-F-FEELS SO GOOD N-N-NOW!!---" Palette cried in pleasure, not knowing that his butthole had started to bleed (Ro: cuz come on, if someone added a pen is into your butty, it’s going to bleed :’) I ruined yaoi sex for everyone lol)

"s-see? I told you so...." Cupcake panted as he began to pound into Palette's bleeding ass

Palette screamed in pleasure, his head tilting back, and tongue hanging out.

Cupcake panted, he moved one of his hand and began to give Palette a handjob while still fucking him

Palette's screams increased in volume, and he flushed, panting hard.

Cupcake began to make out with Palette, rotating his tongue along with Palette's

Palette kissed back while moaning and screaming- owo

“Brace y-yourself.... I-I’m gonna- OH GOD!” Cupcake groaned as he came inside Palette while still giving him a handjob

Palette suddenly came also, his cum spurting out---

Some cum went all over Cupcake’s face, but regardly he licked them off and leaned down to give Palette a deep, passionate kiss, giving Palette a taste of his own cum.

Palette kissed back, his face flushed.

Then Cupcake fell asleep from exhaustion, laying on Palette, which the younger skeleton giggled, and slowly dose off as well....

(Ro: I FREAKING WARNED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Ro: WELL AIN’T THAT A HAPPY ENDING PFFF- :D ALSO THIS WAS AN RP I DID WITH @gaysushiuwu , THE CHILD THAT OWNS THIS ACCOUNT WITH ME :D I TWEAKED IT A BIT TO MAKE IT SEEMS LONGER, ALTHOUGH I GOT KIND OF LAZY AT A FEW PARTS SO I JUST COPY AND PASTE THE RP X’D BUT I STILL KEPT THE GOAL OF THE RP, AND ALSO I DID ASKED SUSHI FOR PERMISSION TO TWEAK THE STORY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:C ALSO IM WARMING UP WITH SEME CUPCAKE LOL ALSO THIS TOOK ME 2 DAYS TO FINISHED IEJHFDIEOLGNVDOIWQRFFV ENJOY MY SUFFERINGIHOFRHOIGDSVFL;JMO9EFD

Fell!Goth (Cupcake) and Goth belongs to @nekophy / @nekophysinpile

Palette and Fell!Palette belongs to @angexci

Aftertale!Sans belongs to @loverofpiggies

Reapertale!Sans belongs to @renrink

Story written by @roxterroar and @gaysushiuwu

Editor and Publisher is @roxterroar

[missjackil]

Let’s Talk About This....

One of the things I loved most about Season 12, was the drama between Mary and the boys. I know many of you found it annoying, but I was highly impressed. It wasn’t written as “Oh look Mom is back, lets be nice little family” or “Oh crap mom is back and she’s a zombie!” No, instead, there was a very realistic story around it, and the writers didn’t pick an easy one.  Nothing about the story, really went the way I thought it would, and I am so glad that as much as I watch this show, the writers can still surprise me. Now, Im not all about Mary hate, and I dont hate Sam Smith as an actor, but IMO she isnt nearly as good an actor as J2 are so scenes with her came off a little lobsided, but all that aside, I think the story arch was believable and well written. Continue below the cut 

My first thought was that if they didn’t make her a monster or evil, that she would be the third wheel (yuck) and favor Dean over Sam because they already established a relationship and Sam was just a baby when she died. I figured the story would develop that Sam felt left out, and early on, it almost looked like they were going that route. In The Foundry, we saw Mary and Dean sharing similarities, with the bacon and beef jerky, and putting Sam in the back seat (which hurt my soul) and cranking the radio when he wanted it turned down.  A little later in the episode, Mary stands between them, when theyre posing as FEDs, and of course to me, this made me clench my teeth. “Do NOT come between my bros!!!!” I’m not alone in that thought am I? Then much to my surprise, at the end, she wants to leave them! And really, for an understandable reason. This is something that could very likely happen in real life, if an estranged mother unexpectedly meets her adult children. Sure she may love them, but it could be very hard to wrap her head around that these men are the little children she remembers.  Now, from this point on, she seems more drawn to Sam. Not that she doesn’t love Dean, but maybe in part due to his understanding that she needs space, and maybe in part out of sheer curiosity of a son she really doesn’t know at all. They had never even had a conversation (to her recollection) before this point. She has no idea what kind of personality he has, and also knows that nothing about him, has anything to do with how she raised him. She has never spent a birthday or Thanksgiving or Christmas with him. He is a complete stranger, and yet, he’s very warm and understanding. And let’s not forget that she knows exactly why his life is a nightmare, and it’s from her own doing, and yet, he’s never even brought it up.  Now, I know many of you believe Sam doesn’t know she made a demon deal that caused Azazel to visit and start the firey chain reaction of his life, but I have always believed he does, and It SEEMS like thats the way the show is playing it, since it’s never come out that Sam DOESNT know, and there have been more than enough places that it should have been mentioned. Like when Mary told Dean she didnt know how to face Sam or what to say, because she started everything. or “Im scared, what if he (Sam) cant forgive me?” Dean didn’t say “Well Sam doesn’t know” he just didn’t say anything. However, they did leave it open ended, not confirming that he knows, so it still could go that way. It would just seem weird that it’s never been said that he doesnt know, making everyone anticipate that revelation.  For argument’s sake right now, lets say Sam doesn’t know. I’ll ask, if we should think he wouldn’t forgive her quickly? I can’t picture him lashing out, unless he found out right after something traumatic had happened. Not everyday trauma, but big, like getting possessed by Lucifer again, or somehow his powers just killed or nearly killed Dean. During S12 nothing really happened that would have opened that scar to a fresh wound. In the past few seasons, Sam has been strong and more confident in himself, and much more accepting of his life, so if he were to find out now, he’d just be shocked and hurt for a little bit, and be forgiving soon after.  My next surprise came while watching Sam and Dean reacting to their mother betraying them, The brothers have been betrayed by nearly everyone they know at some point, or hurt in some way, but this is their mother. Their reactions are a lot different than if it had been an enemy, a friend, or even each other. They had to be hurt and disappointed in someone they weren’t gonna kill or hit. Even when they have hurt each other, they could yell and scream and beat the crap out of each other, but this is MOM! The gifs above represent, such a wonderful acting scene for J2. We have seen them fight with their Dad in s1, and we wouldnt have been surprised if punches got thrown, so the anger was a lot louder and potentially physical. Here though, they’re holding back.  Both brothers express broken hearts so clearly in their facial expressions. They havent had a time before this, that they have been hurt so deeply by a woman they both love. They’re both holding back tears so hard it shattered my heart for them both. However, they didn’t cowar and hang their heads in shame while she tried to justify her actions, that she is “Not JUST a Mother” when she hadnt even tried to be a Mom to them yet. But my boys made damn sure she knew you don’t f*ck with them and walk away scott free. Maybe you’re in a safe zone where they wont punch you physically, but they’ll make you wish they did.  Dean rabid punched her in her heart with his words. He was glad she got to be haunted by Wally dying during the lake house hunt, that she felt guilty telling his wife. He made sure she knew everything he and Sam were feeling, and took away her place as their mother by calling her Mary. When she was metaphorically bleeding on the ground, Sam drew the kill shot. He doesn’t argue with her, he doesn’t cut her down, thats been done, he just delivers the last thing that anyone who loves Sam Winchester in the slightest, ever wants to hear... “You should go”.  What she had before all this, her sons and somewhere she could call home, Sam and Dean took them both away from her, because she squandered them. I was speechless. Now, if there was ever any wonder, who could get away with what when dealing with these brothers, it got answered. If you’re on the good side of Sam and Dean, you have the best protection and friends you could ask for, but nobody is safe if they cross them. And sure, they take abuse by people/monsters all the time and dust it off, but they have their limits, even with blood family.  Look at these gifs and see their faces. These men have both lived through decades of Hell. Lost eachother several times. Been tortured, beaten, shot, stabbed, and tormented by the most evil creatures ever created, but this woman, their own Mother, inflicted more pain than  any of them. Both Jared and Jensen deserve Emmys for conveying that so clearly.  Now, the guys undoubtedly fester with this for a while, but in typical Sam and Dean fashion, they cant just walk away. Sam ventures back first, but Dean isnt far behind when he hears Mom might be in danger. They dont talk about it anymore till the end. Dean is pretty open about his feelings, though he will tell you he isn’t. Sam is the oposite, he thinks he’s open and he really isnt. When Dean gets into Mary’s head in 12x22, he lays it all out to her, he tells her what she doesn’t know about him, and how her actions ruined, not only his, but Sam’s life as well. Why did he speak for Sam? Because Sam wont. Not because Sam is weak, but because Sam doesn’t want attention drawn to his issues. He’s an “other people have got it worse” kind of guy.  When Dean tells Mary that he hates her, and that he loves her, and forgives her, you know, he really forgave her. She had to know she is truly loved and forgiven. Then she worries about Sam, and maybe he can’t forgive her. With the same style, with so few words, that knocked her out not long ago, he gives only a few words to pick her back up. “You dont have to be scared of me” (ugggh my heart!) If you didn’t like this story arch, I ask that you just watch it again and see how much time and effort were spent on Sam and Dean’s reactions to everything, and maybe give a new appreciation to how well it was written, and even better acted.