#im sure you can imagine how that might fuck you up a wee bit

[pesterloglog]

Calliope, Jake English

Act 6, page 4181

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering golgothasTerror [GT] at 5:45

UU: hello there, darling. ~3u

GT: Ahoy madame!

UU: i dont relish troUbling yoU with more arm twisting.

UU: im sUre for all ive done so far yoUve had a jolly good workoUt already :u

UU: bUt yoU will be ready to deliver the package today, yes?

GT: Im determined as ever to see this through. But as usual events have conspired to make a boondoggle of the prospect.

GT: I think i might be fucked.

UU: :U

UU: how so???

GT: Terry needs fuel and i dont have any left. I think im at striders dubious mercy for a solution YET AGAIN.

GT: I will have to ask him for help. And soon.

UU: well there yoU go, love! better hop to it.

GT: Yes i will.

GT: But also...

GT: Theres the matter of the rabbits armaments.

GT: I dont imagine hell do a lot of friggin good in helping grandfather crocker from kicking the old bucket without them.

GT: Did you not say youd supply these?

UU: i did indeed say so!

UU: and have already done.

GT: You did??

GT: When?

UU: in yoUr fUtUre.

UU: i relayed the information enabling yoU to create the powerfUl weaponry yoUrself.

UU: and yoU did!

UU: yoU then sent them back in time. yoU may recover them in the rUins, which conveniently is where yoU mUst go to ship the package once and for all.

UU: bangUp plan we hatched, dont yoU fancy? ^u^

GT: I see...

GT: Yes it sure is if that is the case.

GT: Then all thats left to do is find power for it...

GT: Oh and also enough power for the stupid transmateriabob. Augh!

GT: So much to do before shuttling this goddamn thing into the past.

GT: I mean...

GT: That is what im doing right? Giving it to my grandma when she was a kid growing up on the same island i did?

UU: that is somewhat close to the trUth, and i can see how yoU woUld draw that conclUsion.

UU: bUt theres more to it yoU dont Understand yet! yoU will sort it all oUt in time.

GT: These are among the dadblasted causal spoilers you refuse to dish out?

UU: somewhat.

UU: it woUldnt hUrt yoU mUch to know the trUth, i imagine.

UU: its jUst the trUth is a wee bit complicated.

UU: perhaps a draft of the cascading seqUence from which yoUr reality has arisen will pUt yoUr mind at ease.

UU: imagine two Universes, A and B.

UU: now imagine there are two instances of each Universe, A1 and A2 and B1 and B2.

UU: the first instance of each is like a test rUn, that does not qUite sUcceed.

UU: the second instance thoUgh will meet all of its pUrposes!

UU: now consider that A1 begets A2.

UU: A2 begets B1.

UU: and B1 begets B2.

UU: and the participants of B2 are the ones who will make an effort to exit all this tUrbUlence and falderal.

UU: yoU are one of them! :U

UU: and yoUr yoUng ancestor is another, thoUgh she is "presently" stationed in B1.

UU: and yes she is in the past.

UU: thoUgh not qUite as far as yoU believe!

UU: nor does she occUpy the same stream of continUity.

GT: Im not sure i completely followed that but ok.

UU: thats the best i can do for now. u_u

UU: primarily becaUse i will not risk wasting mUch more of yoUr time!

GT: So you are still in contention that i will meet our elders as youths?

UU: oh yes! ^u^

GT: Ah ha! Then i WILL be traveling through time. I knew it.

GT: Or... they will be. Whichever it is.

GT: Which is it, btw?

UU: caUsal spoilers, sir english!

GT: Fffff.

UU: given the natUre of the qUest waiting for yoU, it woUldnt be shrewd of me to rUle oUt the employment of time travel by any individUal.

UU: bUt i will say that yoUre probably prey to a basic misapprehension aboUt the natUre of this rendezvoUs.

UU: it will not take place on earth.

UU: it will happen inside the game yoUre aboUt to play!

GT: Oh.

GT: Well shit!

UU: indeed. :u

GT: This is frightfully exciting. I would love to meet them.

GT: I never got to know my grandma very well and it always seemed like she led an amazing and adventurous life.

GT: Then this seemed to be proven true in my correspondence with her. So im really looking forward to it.

UU: so trUe. id pay a hefty ransom to get to know my forebears.

GT: I remember you mentioned your race doesnt really jive with ours familially speaking?

UU: correct. i never knew those who one woUld identify as my parental eqUivalents. U_U

UU: it is in the way my race propagates. oUr ancestors precede Us by millenia.

GT: Well yes ours do too. But generally we have all these other people in between them and the most recent ones are called parents.

GT: so i guess you do not have those? Like systemically?

UU: nope! never did.

GT: well neither did i!!!

UU: ^u^

GT: Miss alien i think we are like birds of a feather you and i.

GT: When do i get to learn your name by the way?

UU: hm trUthfUlly?

UU: it may be for the best that yoU never know it.

UU: it coUld stir Up some things best left in their present eqUilibriUm.

UU: and now i think i shoUld bollocks off and leave yoU to it!

GT: But...

GT: Wait!

GT: There are still some things id like to know!

GT: About today! About this game!

UU: no more procrastinating!

UU: contact yoUr friend, darling.

GT: Yes fine fine ok i will but...

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible...

GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game?

UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt.

UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it,

UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods.

UU: <kisses!>

uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering golgothasTerror [GT]

[autistic-ranboo]

/rp

tonight we are thinking about reclutant dad!philza, who didn't get to choose whether or not he was going to become a dad and who wasn't necessarily a bad dad but who also desperately did not want to be.

some more thoughts under the cut. some of these might be triggering but i'm not sure exactly what to warn for so proceed eith caution if this is a sensitive topic for you.

(also, inb4 someone tries to start shit: phil doesn't ever let wilbur SEE any of this. i make that pretty clear under the cut, but just in case y'all don't catch it, phil and techno are Very Careful to conceal all of this from wilbur even as he gets older. )

i am thinking about philza coming home to their house (because it was always going to be "their" house, his and techno's), only to find someone there with an apologetic look on their face and a small hand grasped in theirs. i am thinking about phil inviting them inside because he might be brutally pragmatic and have a vicious streak a mile wide but he's still polite, and he's not going to leave a CHILD out in the cold, don't be ridiculous. i am thinking about them sitting around the table, all on edge, as the person explains that, by some series of events, phil is the last available guardian for a young wilbur soot, and i am imagining phil, still barely out of childhood himself, looking at this child who's scared and lost and lonely (a feeling philza knows intimately) and knowing that he can't turn this child away with the same level of certainty as the knowledge that he's going to break this child by accident.

i am imagining techno, who's coming back from something, doesn't really matter what, when he stumbles into the conversation and sees phil looking more terrified than he was facing down the ender dragon, and i am thinking about techno unsheathing his sword, expecting a threat of some kind, only to find a child and the person who brought him to them, and i am thinking about techno putting on a joking smile to try and get the kid to loosen up.

i am thinking about that night, the first time techno sees philza cry.

i am thinking about the years after, about a philza who does his best to care for his son, letting techno fill in the gaps (and there are so many gaps). i am thinking about a philza who does his best to care for his son, and who loves him, in a way, but who did not choose him. i am thinking of a philza who lives in more fear of the pitterpatter of tiny footsteps on the hallway than an invading army at the door. i am thinking of the long nights, the frustratinng ones where phil wishes that HIS consent had mattered, too. i am thinking of the even longer nights, the ones wracked with guilt when phil cannot be what wilbur needs, his face pressed into techno's chest as he almost cries, listening all the while for footsteps in the hallway. i am thinking of how, the second he hears those footsteps, his face morphs into a smile and his tears dry and he prepares himself to hear a knock at the door, for wilbur to come in and ask to sleep with phil because his room is big and scary and for phil to relent, always, even though it means he'll get no sleep that night. i am thinking about phil stroking wilbur's hair as techno sings him a piglin lullaby in that scratchy, deep voice, and i am thinking about phil understanding that what techno means is: "you're not alone. i'm with you. we will survive this"

anyway. reluctant dad!philza >>>> just straight-up bad dad!philza imo and is how i'll probably be writing phil in the foreseeable future.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 05

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.

Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”

Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.

“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”

“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing. 

“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.

I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”

“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”

“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”

“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.

“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company. 

Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.

He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”

“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”

“You teach only one course?”

“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”

 “Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked. 

“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”

How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.

“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.

“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”

“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.

“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.

“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”

“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”

“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”

“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”

“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.

 “Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”

“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.

“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”

Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”

“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”

“Boys,” I sigh in warning.

Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”

“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.

“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.

“I do. Not for much longer, though.”

Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.

 “You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”

However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”

“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”

“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.

 “I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”

My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?

“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”

“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.

Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.

“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.

“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.

“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”

“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”

“I never did.”

“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”

“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.

“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.

Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.

“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”

“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”

“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”

“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.

“No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.

“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”

“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”

“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.

However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”

His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.

What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.

Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”

“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.

“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.

With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again. 

The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.

I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”

You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?

“I’m not telling you,” he muses.

I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”

“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”

“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”

“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”

“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”

It’s prettier.

I let the mistake slide.

To let him have his little moment of triumph.

There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.

I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.

Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.

Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.

“Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.

“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”

He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.

“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.

“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’

“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.

“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”

“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”

“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”

“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”

Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.

“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”

“Have you read his work?”

“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”

The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”

“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.

These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?

I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”

“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”

In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”

You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?

“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.

“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”

Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.

“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”

With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.

A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.

As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.

I am home.

Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.

“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.

“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.

What on earth?

I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”

“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.

Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”

“Feels good?”

A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.

You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.

A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”

 “If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”

Will you stay with me?

“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”

His expression falters. ���I’m being over- overbear- too much.”

“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”

Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”

“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”

Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.

I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.

We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.

Side by side.

Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”

“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.

“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”

“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”

“Beats me too.”

“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”

“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”

Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”

“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”

“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.

“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”

The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”

While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”

Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”

“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”

He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”

“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.

“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”

“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”

“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”

Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.

“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.

Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”

Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.

Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants. 

When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.

Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.

“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”

He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest. 

“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”

I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”

“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.

His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”

“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has. 

I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”

“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.

“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”

“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”

“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”

So, what you’re asking is… 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”

[ciggylungz]

Positive

Blurb night:

1.4k words

(request: imagine you’re married to harry & you’re pregnant and you meet up with the boys and tell them and it’s just all happy and so cute🥺) + request: what about some morning cuddles? or how they communicate to everyone that they’re having a baby? sorry im soft today i need some good fluffs)

(Sorry if you didn’t want them combined they were similar so I thought it might be repetitive if I did them independently)

 -----

Trying to conceive was always a nerve-wracking trial and error process for those participating in the journey, and Harry and Y/n are no exception to those bumps in the road to starting a family.

The couple had waited till their one-year wedding anniversary to start trying for a child, making sure the marriage was going smoothly and both of them were able to devote as much attention to the child if they were to successfully fall pregnant.

The pair decided to both get exams to make sure they were fertile and another to make sure Y/n was healthy enough to carry a pregnancy, both of their results came back perfect for the two of them so you can imagine the confusion and upset they experienced when months went by without a positive pregnancy test. Harry and Y/n have been doing a lot of condoling each other, cooking comfort foods for dinners and taking their vitamins religiously to give themselves some hope, carbs and cuddles to carry them through this journey of bringing a new person into the world.

You’d think trying was the most fun part of making a baby yet months of constant sex did a number on the two. They were losing their libido, tired and sometimes sore from the constant friction on their most sensitive areas but the duo refused to give up.

__

It was a typical Thursday morning, Harry sending off emails while cramming toast into his mouth and Y/n was brushing her teeth, feeling particularly out of it that day. She was tired and sluggish, a bit queasy and just off.

By now taking a pregnancy test was part of her morning routine. She even had a designated cup next to the toilet she used to collect her first morning wee in to dip the tests in, every morning she took one just to see. She was never very good at controlling her curiosity and when it comes to something this life changing, well she just can’t stop herself.

Y/n swears her eyes nearly popped out of her head as she saw the second line, bright and bold perfectly straight next to the control line. It took a few minutes for her brain to truly comprehend the evidence in front of her, there were two lines.

She was pregnant!

After the initial shock started to fade, excitement flooded through her. A shriek of her husbands name rolled through the house prompting him to jump to his feet and rush towards the noise.

“What?! Are you okay?! Are you hurt baby? What happen-“

“Harry I’m pregnant! Look ! it worked! We’re having a baby!” Y/n held the positive test in the hair, thrusting it towards his wide eyes seeing the man shift from panic to being elated.

“Oh my god! We’re having a baby! My dick works!” Harry wrapped his arms around his wife before hoisting her in the air, spinning the both of them around while they cheered and let out happy tears.

That night the pair celebrated with a nice dinner and excitedly calling y/n’s obgyn to set up her first prenatal visit. The pair decided they’d keep their secret till they were in the clear, the first couple weeks of pregnancy are the most high risk time for miscarriage so they didn’t want to get their hopes up and let everyone know till they were sure this baby was going to make it to term.

___

 Y/n was 18 weeks along when the couple decided they were going to announce the news to their friends and family. Harry was giddy, obsessed with his wife’s tummy that was now starting to get a little curve to the lower part of it. He kept ultrasound pictures in his wallet and spend every evening reading baby books and making a list of names for their growing baby.

The first people they decided to tell was of course their mothers and siblings, it was a great experience lots of hugs, happy tears and celebration sweets. Everyone was over the moon, the couple had full hearts and tummy’s when they left Anne’s home. The couple had never felt happier in their lives.

Of course when it came to telling the news to the boys, Harry decided to whip out one of his dad jokes he’d already been hoarding in his mind. His jokes were always terrible, lets face it, but the boys loved to take the piss out of him and found his jokes entertaining now.

So, Harry invited the group over directing Louis to open the oven for him which inside was a bun- yes Y/n had to refrain from cringing at the horrible dad joke but she let him has his fun- and Louis reacted first with a confused glance to Harry. “Mate, ya’ not the best chef but I thought you’d know that cookin’ one thing at a time is a bit wasteful of the gas innit?” the man plucked the bread off the rack, handing it to Harry who was rolling his eyes since the other man didn’t seem to get the implications.

“Lou, what was in the oven?” he decided to throw him a line, the other guys just watching the interaction confused and waiting for Harry to reveal what the hell he was on about. “A roll Harold” Harry then huffed, “No! it’s a bun!”, Niall was now laughing finding the situation at hand seeing Harry getting mad over the guys not having a clue what he was trying to imply.

When the bickering filled the kitchen between the boys Y/n decided to step in- “Alright! Harry I told you the joke was rubbish, guys ‘bun in the oven’- the reference and horrible execution was a reference to me since I’m pregnant.” – only then did it click in all their heads, a chorus of ‘ohhhh’ and then excited congratulations followed. Louis of course took the chance to pick on Harry who gave him the finger before excepting the celebratory hugs and pats on the back, the boys giving Y/n a good cuddle too congratulating her on the pregnancy and telling her how excited they were to be uncles. A few making jokes to Harry about ‘getting it in’ and all that boyish banter.

The pair couldn’t be more thrilled at all the excitement that surrounded the arrival of their first born, Y/n was also happy she wouldn’t have to wear baggy clothes around them anymore either. Sweaters in august was a bit uncomfortable for a pregnant woman with hot flashes.

____

When the 20 week mark came, the couple decided to keep the gender a surprise till birth when offered the anatomy scan. They really didn’t have a preference as long as their bundle of joy was healthy, they were happy.

They had spent the last few weeks painting the nursery a pale yellow, making an accent wall with a neutral colored floral wallpaper, lots of vines and plants on it in a grey and white color theme. The room was fit for whatever gender their baby turned out to be, and it was now being filled with a crib Harry had put together- which he nearly had a breakdown over how many fucking screws and parts it had- and a nice changing table stocked with diapers, wipes and all the baby essentials.  

The little ones closet was organized by size, all hung neatly on hangers and in organized bins as well. A nice rocking chair with a little nursing station was in one of the corners, stocked with burp cloths and a nursing pillow as well as a few jars of nipple balm since breastfeeding can caused chapped skin on the breasts. They had a little dish with pacifiers sitting on the small table next to the chair, picture books and a few nice soft blankets folded on the small shelf below the drawers.

Everything was slowly but surely coming together, and now they couldn’t wait to welcome their baby into the world.

(Tbh idk if I like this one, but I tried my best.)

[huntsman-ash]

RWBY V8E2 LiveThoughts

And now, for episode 2; same deal as last time, spoilers for this weeks episode. 

RT getting a wee bit too real with the “curfew in effect” sign on the side of that building in the opening. Least here its a visible noticeable threat and not Corona. Still.

Oh, heh. “Hope has no place here.” Always did love that line. But that might just be the grimdark fan in me.

Overall Im not a huge fan of this seasons opening, it doesnt sound as melodic as the last couple ones. More...chaotic. I think thats intentionally but Im still not a fan.

Dude, Qrow, thats unsanitary. Seriously, clean that shit off. You’re gonna get like, tetnus or something.

And Robyn complaining to Qrow. I mean shes not WRONG but at the same time SHE was the one who decided to pass out during the crash. Dont go throwing blame around Hill, you were just as useless and dumb as everyone but Tyrian in that whole section of last season.

Correction, shes talking to Jasque Scnee who is SOMEHOW in the same prison as they are. Additional; hardlight cells with no visible emitters, no toilet or other commodities. This must be a holding cell of some kind. Unless the bed they all have is ALSO a toilet. Ew.

Yeah you sure about that Schnee? Indirect murder is still murder.

Whh...WATTS IS IN HERE TOO?! WHAT THE FUCK IRONWOOD. You dont have a maximum security like, ICEBOX lock up? Dude this is just ASKING for trouble.

Watt’s black eye is still there. Maybe there is something to him not having his aura fully unlocked. Or...something else. Im really confused about that.

Odd cell structure. Impromptu? Or is this whole room just modular. Cause its WAY too big to house just this many prisoners. Im getting the feeling this is impromtu, yeah.

Schnee thinks hes getting out, sucker. 

Mad props to the Atlas soldier for the brutality. NOW HIT HIM AGAIN.  Robyns smirk gives me life.

And Qrow suggests Operation Valkyrie. Im down. Ironwoods proven useless at this point, maybe his replacement will be more tactically viable.

Alright, Atlas has pulled all military forces out of Mantle. Guess that means Ash and CAMO would be out too. Officially anyway. Making note for future threads...

Cute about the news guy, but I LOVE the fact you can hear the former masculinity in May’s voice here, like she isnt fully finished transitioning. If its intentional, bravo. If not, still cool.

“Its time to show your teeth, Mantle.”  HELL FUCKING YES THATS THE KINDA SHIT IVE BEEN WANTING TO HEAR!

Ah and there’s the hoverbikes from the teasers. I really dont get why they’re so goddamn big. Surely you can miniatruize hovertech...right?

They’re big enough to have weapons installed IMO. They should have.

Ah okay here’s the rest of the trailer

Hey look more lesbians. Boy that one on the left is MAD.

I cannot believe these Grimm are dumb enough to not go AROUND the dropwall (and Im going to call it that until I get something else, its literally the equipment from Halo Infinite’s release trailer). I get Grimm are dumb but damn bro.

Ah okay, THATS the split. All the faunus live in the slums down in the crater. Mantle proper is the mid-level, and then Atlas is humans for the most part. As far as I can tell anyway. Literal stratification. 

Ugh, that whole conversation was so expositiony. Jesus fucking christ.

Holy shit this crews moving slow. Like, good fucking lord.

Personaly headcanon; that tiny fox toy Oscar rides past on his bike is later retreived by Ash. That is actually his bootprint on it too oddly enough.

Unity in this situation, Ozpin? Not likely. What you need is miltiary intervention and firepower.

Still not sure why there’s smokestacks in Mantle if everything on Remnant runs on Dust. Maybe its steam vents for the heating system.

So the Crater is literally a divide. Like a circular diamond mine or one of those “rabbit hole” gold ones. Literal wall holding its outside. 

Snowshoe Shipping. New company. Full autonomous workforce from the looks of it. SDC related of course. And its still running despite everything. The drones here are literally AKs. Motherfucker, I think I know where the idea for them came from. SDC literally just weaponized its fucking worker robots. 

And apperently Dust is refined in the Crater. Okay that makes sense. Does it come from outside or are they still mining it there I wonder.

Oh pnumatic elevator. STEALING THAT

“That isn’t relevant at the moment.” WAY TO DODGE THE QUESTION RT. YEAH BECAUSE THERES TOTALLY NOT OTHER COMPANIES OUT THERE RIGHT?

What the fuck happened to Penny? Did becoming the Maiden make her emo?

Lol yeah people are gonna die, its WAR Penny, eat shit and get over it. Fucking weaklings...

Your the maiden. Get over it. Go kill some people, you’ll feel better. Relish in power.

And Weiss is now dead from either pressure shock, thermobaric style lung implosion, forceful impact, or just being crushed flat. Oh, and asphyxiation.  Seriously that was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life. REALLY NORA.

Oh hey, a banjo in the crater. It really is hicksville.

Fire dust crystals right into a metal container to keep it  going. Holy shit it only took us 8 seasons to see Dust used physically again...

Sheep nom map. Nom nom. 

Wonder who this Crimson she mentioned is.

Lil hops. Oh no shes too cute.  Also it seems Mantle is divided into sectors. Useful information. Wonder what designates them.

Hahahah Fiona’s uncles a mole XD

And good to know “crap” is a swearword on Remnant.

Sounds like Crimson is a person with the Huntress’s. With his accent Im going to personally imagine his a grizzled former veteran, like Sergeant Stacker from Halo.

Note; the map says “Mantle City”. Interesting. Wonder what the other option is. Crater?

Ohhh and a spudmasher. Wait...no thats not a grenade. Some kind of gravitational surge thing. Again. Okay seriously RT is it so hard to just make a FUCKING WEAPON? Nothing fancy, no special features, just something that kills the fucking enemy. 

Okay...what the hell. Those Grimm cleared out like they got a retreat signal...

Ohho whats this now...this thing looks a LOT more interesting. And SAVAGE. Damn, its beating the SHIT out of Oscar! I think I like this one.

It transforms. Like the Zeta Gundam. FASCINATING. So it must have a rapid transport/assault form of the original dog one then changes to this new one for close in? Or carrying I guess, its stealing Oscar. This must be the thing that Salem sent.

Yeah kinda looks like a werewolf.

Soooo why were they just standing there watching this thing beat up on him? It was open for a couple of seconds. Surely it cant be they were worried about Oscar, the best thign to do if an enemy is grappling your friend is to get in and take advantage of it. 

Its smart too, used Oscar as a meatshield. Apperently just long enough to distract Yang and then yeet her. 

Its got ONE HAND with Oscar in it you idiots, hit it all at once! Go for the legs and the other arm, knock it down, blow its head off. COME ON, its OBVIOUS.

Oh hey it talked. Good. That means it can probably feel pain.

There is no way those legs should work like that. They’re too small and its torsos the wrong shape. This things breaking physics. 

The arms are also way too long.

Also why are you just standing there watching it grow wings? Kill the fucking thing already.  Gotta admit the movement and screaming makes me think it feels pain. Interesting. Good to know.  That or its just body horror/squick.

And thats the episode. I like how Fiona calls them “kids” though shes probably about their age. 

[enccrypted]

Can be used for RP and non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

1. FIRST NAME:  my name is something else, but I actually do more commonly go by jun nowadays in my day-to-day life!

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:  as a child i rode a bicycle into my aunt’s pool because I have no sense of foresight even though avoiding diving into the pool was the EASIEST thing to figure out in that moment. And riding a bike in a pool is illegal in California, so :( Please don’t call the cops on me

3. TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON:  A lot of my partners I’ve dated on sheer basis of their personality, but... lean? not necessarily super slender but I personally tend towards slimmer builds, I think? And I also really like nice eyes and hands... and I love voices I find soothing and nice to listen to!! Sound is a hate or love thing for me, so if I hear a certain sound or string of sounds I like, I can get stuck on it. And likewise if a sound is just unbearable to me, it sends my brain into fucky spirals. So that’s why I have certain songs on loop for weeks on end, because when I like a certain type of sound, I want it in my ears constantly.

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF:  these spicy noodles 🍜 they’re called buldak bokkeum myeon, hot chicken ramyeon 😋

5. A FOOD YOU HATE:  I’m actually five years old, so vegetables can get the fuck off my plate. Most of the time they just have some weird textures that I cannot handle in my mouth. I feel like it’d be better if I owned a blender and could make smoothies out of some of them, but that’s a plan for the future when I can actually have full control over my own diet

6. GUILTY PLEASURE:  I love... to eat out... and to eat in general, but it’s hard to eat out a lot because it’s very expensive :( but then my opposite guilty pleasure is packaged ramen that’s cheap as shit... I’m a very inconsistent personality lmao

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN:  my pants and nothing else

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS:  only serious relationships!! I mentally cannot make myself date a person if I haven’t been friends with them for at least a few months, optimally one or two years. I like to know the people I end up dating and feel comfortable around them, really know them before I even think about taking it a step further. Being good friends with a person, talking a lot with them, and feeling that I can speak to them as a partner AND a friend with whom I would trust my secrets (and therefore be honest with them about anything!) is so wildly important to me. And also I just don’t trust like that.

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE:  so many things. I think about it constantly. My most common daydreams and things I imagine as I lie in bed at night is somehow waking up with my current day mind in the body of my younger self and just living life differently. But I’m sure a lot of us would tweak a thing or two, regardless of whether they’re subtle or hugely impacting, and in reality it’s just not going to happen. So while I’m not “happy” with where I am, I’m at least happy with my efforts and where I’m trying to go from here on out!

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON:  It’s tough to get me to that point, as in I’m really picky with whom I choose to get closer to just based on compatibility, how much I initially feel I’ll be comfortable around a certain person, etc. But once I get to a status of friendship, I’m very free with affection :’) maybe too much? I drop a lot of “I love you”s and I occasionally make a fuss over the people I care about, but only to make sure they’re okay or something. Not overbearing!! I think... sometimes i accidentally say “babe/baby” to my friends and I realise two seconds later that it’s fucking weird but . can’t cry over spilt milk lmao

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:  I’m not a “watch a movie again” type of person because it takes me actually wanting to watch a movie, then making the conscious decision to invest the time in sitting down and watching it... so a song I like! because I can multitask while listening to music and it doesn’t take any huge commitment for 2-7 minute songs: Scenes from an Italian Restaurant. I could listen to most of Billy Joel’s songs on repeat for days, though.

12. FAVORITE BOOK:  My favourite books switch around because I always discover something new, then turn around and go straight back to an old book I used to love after rereading it... over the years I most strongly remember loving: Crime and Punishment, The Great Gatsby, and Howl’s Moving Castle! 

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE:  I want a cat really badly! I do have a stray cat that I hang out with at my school, but that just isn’t the same as having one of my own! And I’ve always wanted a snake since I was a wee bab so, someday, when I’m moved out and financially stable 🐍

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]:  TWO OF MY FAVOURITES ARE WITH JAY: his higgs (death stranding, goldenmasked) and his revenant (iidolum)... I didn’t start off writing with either of them with huge shipping intentions in mind, but I’ve got some plots with him that are my favourite... 😭😭 other than that, cryptane, cryptage, and gibraltar/crypto! That’s five right there.

15. PIE OR CAKE:  it’s illegal to make me make decisions like this. I don’t even like cake and pie that much but when I’m in the mood for either one, they’re equally good. I can choose flavours though: apple pie and chocolate cake.

16. FAVORITE SCENT:  Gasoline? Cigarette smoke? Those are bad for me especially since I’m asthmatic, but they’re really the only thing that come to mind. AND also this oil because it smells vividly of childhood. I still have a bottle I use from time to time.

17. CELEBRITY CRUSH:  I’m not really feeling any right now... but George Michael was always such a cutie :’) 

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO:  I want to go home to Australia for a bit, and visit Vietnam again (don’t remember when I last went because I was too small...). Canada, maybe?

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT:  a mix of the two, but currently feeling very introvert.

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY:  it depends on my mood. I’m either really finicky and easily scared by anything if I’m on edge, or my brain just shuts off and blocks out the whole function of terror so when something happens, I’m just like. yeah??

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID:  android and not interesting in ever switching off.

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES:  this is a blog for a video game character!!

23. DREAM JOB:  I’m chasing a career in psychiatry and I might someday return to mechanical engineering.

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS:  buy a nice small place somewhere!! fund the rest of my education on my own! give some of the money to my friends!!! fill my savings account to the brim!

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE:  im trying so hard to think of a character that i hate, but I’ve mostly enjoyed the character cast of everything I’ve watched/read/played lately. life’s too short, and so is my memory, for me to remember anything that hasn’t occurred in the past few months. at the least, it makes me a much happier man so, win for me ;)

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER:  hate to admit it, but I used to be a Hetalia fan. Lmao. Some of the worst people I met there, but I also met my ex-girlfriend in the fandom, and we made fangames for it together :’) one of my favourite memories of younger years.

TAGGED BY:  i stole it from one of jay’s blogs... my big brain can’t remember which but go follow him on both higgs and revenant anyway

TAGGING:  @deathchasing, @mircoy

[lexiy-dreyar]

missing friends

{{little side story for you all ok?

{im too tried to say who’s OC's belong to who ima just do the tags imto sleepy

@auntiesakamaki

@animeislife54

@decoffinatedcoffee

@wee-devil-town

@thewhitelotusdemon

@chimmerly

@vantalizing

@nerieda

{{i think that's everyone?

((edit i redrew everything

The blonde layed there, bruised and broken, beaten to a pulp, watching the culprit getaway, holding her sister, and her child, both badly injured bleeding, the other blonde sister had taken a big blow to the head cracking it open, shattered bones in the arm's, with cut-up legs, she could only imagine her pain was less than hers, her dull eyes shifted to her child, being carried over the shoulder, blood dripping out of her mouth, shaking out of shock and pain.

 She couldn't take seeing them both hurt, she tried to get up but could barely move her arms to lift her body off the ground a bit, her arm covered in cuts shooting with pain, her legs shattered, slowly going numb. Lex blinked away the tears of pain, pushing herself to move her arms and legs, she refused to give up and lose,  the two she cared about the most, trying to ignore the pain, with a scratchy voice she called out to the captive, "put them down...and..come and fight me…" she growled still struggling to get on her feet "I may be buried but I'm not beaten!!"

 She shouts soon coughing her lungs out "tch d-dammit" she groaned in pain "you look like your done..I'm not wasting my power on you.." the said turning to look at her "heh...you scared that I'm gonna kick your ass!" She smirked, trying to egg them on so they drop her loved ones "hmmm how about I end this" they said letting star go raising his arm aiming his attack at the struggling blonde "and here I thought you were supposed to be strong, with the power of a guardian angel running through you, as well as the power of a dragon.. pathetic." They smile darkly as they launch their attack at her. 

She didn't have a chance to move, the attack hit her head on, 

amplifying the pain tenfold, causing her to scream out in pain, knocking her out as she hits a tree, "maybe if you tried harder you would have had a chance" was the last words she heard. 

As she slowly opened her eyes she was blinded by bright lights "huh...Where am I?" She mumbled trying to sit up, she felt a burst of pain from her arms, and they felt Heavy, she looked at her arms noticing there in casts, she looked at them confused before looking around the room " what the...where am I..a hospital??" She asked herself, there was a knocking on her door, she turned her head to the door as it slowly opened to see one of her friends peaking "hey she's up"

 Pandora said opening the door more as her friends enter the room "glad to see your up" Sayaka said bluntly "yeah you gave us a pretty bad scare" Tenshi said softly placing a plate on her nightstand,

 "Sorry about that…" lex mumbles, "how did I get here?" She asked looking at her friends "nkita managed to call me and the paramedics by the time we got there, you nkita and void were about to be picked up by them" Julianna answers her question

 "about that do you know where star and amaniz are? We tried calling the-" Pandora stopped halfway through her sentence when she noticed lex's shocked expression "they really got them.." lex mumbles trying not to cry "about that care to explain why you went to go fight when you were still recovering from you last job" azale asks her "I had to.. they were hurt...I had a bad feeling if I didn't" she sighed trying to move her legs, but felt they were in the cast too "what about nkita and void how are they?!" Lex asked panicked" were not sure yet we checked up on them yesterday but they were knocked out, " Devon said.

"Lex...I think you should tell us what happened" azale pointed out "or at least tell us what the attacker looked like" Constance chimed in "I….I" lex tried to tell them but her memory was hazy. All she got were little flashes of what happened.

 Her breath got shakey, as she remembers how much she messed up, using a big attack out of lack of judgment, trying to let amaniz and star run to safety. Letting herself go trying to learn the attackers' magic, and how they fight, but she failed to pay attention, worrying too much about her family, leaving herself wide open, letting them get a good shot near her chest. Slowly mumbling to herself about how stupid she is unable to protect her sister and child as her eyes slowly turned back to normal, losing their dullness as her eye’s filled with tears “they were right there...and I couldn't do anything...I'm pathetic"

she cried "...then let's go get em," Cole said walking to the blonde's bed "huh…" "let's go get them back..once your Heald up we'll go looking for them" Cole answered "what! No way if the guy managed to fuck up lex nkita and void that bad there's no way we could stand a chance" Cherry shouted, "Well your wrong if all of us go together we can get them back!!" Obara shouted at her "hey now let's not fight..we should be careful though it might have been the same person who tried to kidnap Azusa,..and-" Sayaka was interrupted by a knock at the door "Sorry for interrupting but I need to talk alone with lexiy" a doctor said ".....alright let's go check on the others"Lizzy patted Devon's shoulder "good idea get better soon lex" Tenshi waved as the left the room.

{Mini time skip}

You should be able to move your arms and legs a bit now but I have to advise you to not use your Maley attack's for a few months so that the tissue heals...and about your lacrima heart we replaced it with a stronger one it should last you 5 years or so." The doctor said wrapping up her leg 

 "also you need to take it easy..your body is still recovering from the shock your lucky your friend gem was able to recover the badly damaged parts..you can be disregarded in a few days...but if you lose feeling in your legs take one of these" he hands her a few bottles of pills "lose feeling in my legs??" She asked "yes your leg bones were shared to pieces with a lot of internal bleeding your Nevers weren't connected either I'm surprised you manage to push through the pain" the doctor said in shock standing up "you should rest we'll call in gem to come and heal you some more..who knows if your lucky you can be discharged in two days" he said leaving. Lex looked down swinging her legs a bit "there's that bad feeling again..I need to go make sure everything is o-" she couldn't finish her sentence after being whacked with a massive amount of pain-causing her to pass out...

____________

Everyone got home to a surprise that night. “Julianna looked around the mansion in shock “what happened here,” she said in shock the mansion was a mess there were blood patches everywhere. Shu sniffed around “that's Viktor and Elias blood I smell” he sai quitely “what!” devon shouted quickly rushing to his sister's room noticing the doors broken “Elisa?” he looked in her room seeing scratch marks and bloodstains, his breathing became uneven. It soon hit him she was taken. Julianna looked around noticing there was a big blood puddle “it isn't like Viktor to up and leave like that...unless he was taken too” she said in disbelief “where’s azusa..” ruki said “kanato’s missing too” laito added “was it the same person who took star and amaniz” reiji question as the front door slammed open “WHERES ANYA!!” Subaru shouted in a panicked state with Tenshi following right after him

 “huh, you couldn't find her either huh,” ayato said “not to mention valla and athenia are missing too,” Tenshi said trying to calm her breathing. “We should head out to the others and make sure their saf-” glasses didn't even get a chance to speak when pandora kicked the front door open “WHERES GREMLY AND TCUP!!” 

she screamed with furfur right behind her “them too huh?” cole said walking through the busted up doors with Elina right behind him "manu and soon-bok went missing too" Elina sighed "so someone's targeting all of us" Simon said causing most of them to jump from his random appearance "so who do we know who could be doing this?" Lys asked

"I say chara.. she's the only one of us that can beat any of us easy without dying.." Devon mumbled in a rotten mood "who the hell is Chara" Pandora asked "I'll explain on our way back to the hospital" Devon's said walking out the door, with the others slowly following behind him.

[JFC YALL HAVE TO MANY OCS 

[youreofftheedgeofthemapmate]

@sonofirishseas(next), @ashortdropandasuddenstop

Sonofirishseas Jack raised a brow at Hector’s declaration that he be the one to make a meal for all of them. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d tasted a real cooked meal, much less one made by Barbossa. There was a sense of haunting nostalgia through him then and it made him shift; uncomfortable. All these demandable feelings and memories…it was all quite obnoxious.

To fix said problem, Sparrow took another heavy drink and sighed, pleased as he felt the familiar warmth and rush beginning to take hold. “Fair enough then, lead on, lead on…”  He waved to Hector, ushering James along as well.

This was all so strange and surreal…not quiet as surreal as the place he’d just left but still…it was a far cry from any norm Jack had known. Pleasant as it seemed he was still a bit tense, all too aware of the tentative peace between the three of them and fearful that any small slight might up end it all. And well then, wouldn’t they all just be fucked over twice for the effort hmm?

The monkey cried and howled, miserable at the thought of being left without attention it seemed. Sparrow’s face puckered as if he’d tasted something sour, clapping his hands to his ears to stifle the sound. “You have got to be joking…” he grumbled, seeing of course that the other two men were going to play right into the little primate’s hands and give in most likely. But Jack turned towards the animal, frowning at him as if he were a bratty child. “Not getting our way our we? What a shame. Suppose you’ll just have to make do with the flees to play with…”

Wee Jack pouted and chittered at him in a sad but outraged manner and Jack sighed in annoyance, rustling around on his person for a moment before producing a palm full of what looked like nuts. “Here. Will this pacify ye a moment wee beastie?” he grumbled, offering it to the animal.

Of course the monkey took it eagerly and Sparrow turned his eyes towards his companions. “Wot? I’m not allowed to shoot ‘im anymore. Has to be some other way to quiet him down short of stuffin’ in a sack.” He joked. ashortropandasuddnestop

There was a look of utter shock from the deckhand, brow raised. " You can cook? " 

That almost sounded like an insult James.  For shame.   Sea-foam green eyes flickered back to Jack again ,  who shooed him to follow behind when he agreed and told them to lead. So apparently they were all heading down below for Hector to take care of them ? Oh, it must be a special evening because thus far James hadn't a clue the man had any culinary skill, and to be honest.. still wasn't sure.  

He knew how to bake, but he wasn't that great at main dishes, only the fun things he could recall from his pre soldier in training days with his mum.

And he heard the heart wrenching sound from the small monkey as he leapt from his shoulders to try and reach hector, then missed and couldnt decide who he wants to go with so he curled up on the floor.

Causing Norrington to pause and turn back , fully ready to scoop the little brat of a monkey back into his arms again ( honestly, he coddles that thing like a child )  when Sparrow addressed his much smaller namesake.   Producing peanuts from his pocket, for the small creature.  

The capuchin seemed momentarily appeased by this,  and he calmed in seeing the monkey make himself at home with the nuts on Hectors/Jack's Bed.   "   Try acting CIVIL toward him, some time, and perhaps  he wont screech like a proverbial banshee every time he sees you. "  snorts the deckhand, talking back to his captains today and that’s before even a sip of rum.

 Can you imagine what’s in store later?

"Aye, I be able," he murmured, a bit offended at the lack of confidence but not willing to show it, "What be so surprisin'?"

There was a reason that almost no one knew Hector had any culinary experience. Two, actually. The first was relatively obvious. A fearsome, murderous pirate captain couldn't just admit something like that.

The second was far more personal. Contained things he'd rather not share with anyone. But no time to dwell on that. Jack drinking, hearing the slosh of liquid, kept him out of his own head. A good thing, really.

The capuchin's cries broke his own heart, and much like James, he'd been about to give in. Until the man the monkey was named after did something surprising.

He didn't intervene, although he was tempted. It was interesting to see the dynamic. And of course, the little one's offense. That was really the only point where he needed self control.

But then, yet again, Jack did something he didn't expect. He pulled out food for the undead little one. Thankfully, the curse seemed to only negatively affect humans. Wee Jack had always been able to eat and feel warmth. The former of which might just be the key if Jack the man wants to get along with his namesake.

Gesturing for the others to follow, Hector asked "Anythin' sound particularly good?"

Deckhand of two Captains

@youreofftheedgeofthemapmate @sonofirishseas

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!