#im sure this wont backfire horribly

[sweeneydino]

No, I will not explain myself. I have no shame.

No Splinter slander.

This is very serious.

[pomodoriyum]

i love that its billy who gives hickey the idea for the mutiny. and i love that hickey seems— if not apprehensive— perhaps cautious? about the idea

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also. collins. aww horrible from supper you poor little guy

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those rations look fuckign disgusting, jesus christ

hickeys eyes. big and wet like bug

silna staring at him :0

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ooooof morfinn having. bad time /(

tozers lil ‘oh christ’ where he drops his lighthearted “im talking to the men” <3 voice

UHOHHHH <3

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kwwping that secret is gonna backfire. woof

its quiet but james fitzjames is Doing Badly

tozer im so sorry why would you try to get hickey armed. did you thibk that wouldnt be suspicious as hell???????

THIS FACE IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. LIKE. HELLO?????

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aw, goodsir. him crying is sooo. mmm. panic attack :,(

also that bed is fucking filthy jfc

SILNA <3

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jopsons “oh thank you very much sir 😒” WAS SO FUNNY

promotion~ ! (not sure if jopson is actually happy abt this????)

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HICKEYS FACE WHEN HODGE THINKS HES SUGGESTING HE STOLE SOMEONES FLESH LOL

^ he says ‘is that really what you think of me’ (george is RIGHT tho is the thing)

also georges lil ‘god blind me’ woof :3c

its so so clear that tozer is. gently threateninf hodg here. and hodge is Not Interested In This At All

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i love how hickey is on the outside of the hunting party. hes not With Them. in the way that matters?

also parallels how hes pretty clearly not putting it in while hauling, and also has a reputation for not doing things that hes been asked to (‘layabout’ fits him really well)

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hickey The Killerrrrrrr (nah tho its so fucked up. he only does this bc hes racist in the extreme!!!!! and like. hes very bitter about francis’s idea potentially working b/c itll take the legs out from under his little mutiny— and the numbers *still* wont work!) *slams his head into the ground*

irving. thank you for being the only normal person here about the inuit

also im sorry but that murder scene audio is so funny to me. help. the tonal switch is too abrupt

hickey. also. looks kind of confused for a second after hes finished killing irvin?? like???????

SCREAM flashback. i love how he fucking throws his bag down the ladder. what an ass. like what if that hit anyone????

^^

face of someone who is realizing that their whole ‘catch a trip to oahu’ idea is going to be more complicated than they thought

[servicedoodle]

I went to stay with friends on account of what happened to Nalla. Big fucking mistake. Everything I do backfires, makes things worse.

I left the friends house for one night to visit my mom, I took with me what meds I needed for one night. I came back the next day and my so called friend, high as fuck says he owes me pills. I ask what he means by that and he tosses me an empty bottle and says he took "a bunch" and flushed the rest.

My fucking psych meds! Because benzos get you high. Then he had the nerve to say he wasnt high, like I dont know what someone fucked up on benzos looks like.

I dont take them to get high. I need my medication to get through the fucking day. And he stole it!

Pharmacy says even if my doctor writes a new script (he prob wont) its way too soon to refill, and Id need a police report saying it was stolen.

If I called the police he committed a felony in his state for stealing a controlled substance. But I couldnt call the cops because the people in that house recreational smoke pot. I dont, but the house smells like it and so Id risk guilt by association since I was in a house with drugs.

So theres basically nothing I can do. I left and went to stay with my mom. But Im out 60+ klonopin. I have valium too so I wont go cold turkey but the valium makes me feel fucked up. Im not anxious on it, but not functional either. Which is why I dont take it (I keep it around for neck spasms associated with migraines).

So now I have a dog that needs a ton of training, Im trying to deal with and process a horrible loss and trauma, and someone I thought was my friend stole my fucking psych medication and ate it. So my options are let my anxiety go unchecked or take valium regularly which will make me a zombie. Awesome. Gonna be a great month.

But you know, good thing he got high. Im sure that was worth it.

Im so fucking pissed.

[shebz]

I FEEEL LIK IM GONNA IMPLODE MY HEAD IS UNRAVELING IM DEVOLVING IM SO DESPERATE FOR SOMEBODY TO TALK TO HGRNRNRNGHTHG IM GONNA BLOW UP IM FREAKIN OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM TRYING TO LISTEN TO PIANO MUSIC TO CALM DOWN BUT ITS SO EMOTIONAL AND EVERYTHINGS GETTING CLAMMED UP IN MY HEAD AND IM TRYING SO HARD TO THINK THINGS THROUGH ON MY OWN BUT I CANT COME UP WITH ANY SATISFYING SOLUTIONS AND IM SO UPSETETETETTTTTIJT IT FEELS LIKE EVERYBODY HATES ME BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE LESS HATEABLE WYH DO I AHVE TO BE SO EASY TO HATERYTETETETETE

okay,, LETS PUT IT THIS WAY

Imagine you’re a good friend, which I’m sure you are, and your bestest closest friend comes up to you and says, “You are annoying, creepy, and think you’re always the victim.” DOESNT TAHT CLEARLY MEAN THEY HATE YOU!:?;!?;

I think my best friend hates me and now i dont know how to act around thema dn im all self conscious and worried i mena like if they hate me so much why do they even talk to me ,?;!? Is it out of pity!;?;!? If I were a good friend, they wouldn’t say that to me..,., so I must be a terrible terrible horrible friend who deserves it,.,;:, but if I really am, I’d prefer if they stopped being friends with me. SEE IM ALSO UPSET BECAUSE IVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH THIS PERSON FOR 13 YEARS

Our friendship is starting to mirror my ex friendship with my past best friend, whom is currently my only exfriend. I don’t cut people off often, and I’m rarely upset or angry with other people, but I hate my ex friend because they made me feel like garbage..: and now my 2nd ever best friend is doing the same thing so im pretty sure its me and now im all scared of getting to know people because its the people closest to me taht hurt me the most nrvhrvtb everyone says its my fault so surely it is but idk how to fix it i just dont wanna talk to anybody anymore because i wanna save them the trouble of having to associate themself woth me and im afraid of messing up or being stupid or annoying or creepy or being hated or accidentally blaming them for smth because i reEEAALALLY do hate making other poeple feel bad for things so i try to GURHRH KRHRKV IM JUST SO hgrntnnt i just wanna be a good friend but i and i wanna try harder but to what extent would it be okay to give up while still having been a loyal and dedicated friend? I want my friends to know I appreciate, and I want them to appreciate me too but aaaabaabvacscrhfv i feel so complacent and i hate being that way it feels like my problems are so small but theyve been eating me up inside and i keep trying to push them off and then i keep making mistakes and im just so overly sensitive over everything its so stupid i dont know how to act at all am i victimizing myself? Am i wallowing in self pity!;? Welle by every definition, i am, but isnt that too cruel!;?;! When would it ever be okay to talk abt my feelings or what makes me sad!;?;!?4! If someone came to me and told them all their problems id be happy because its flattering to know that they trust in you enough to talk to you abt it, especially if you, yourself, have trouble talking abt your own problems and know how hard it is to find someone whos trustworthy.. And thats the kind of person i wnana be…,., someone whos reliable and loyal no matter what.,, but i think its backfiring because my mom says when you act that way, people will misunderstand and think they can stomp all over you and youll still be there…,., but i wanna hope that peopel arent like that.. that theyre kind, forgiving, and appreciative:,: and sometimes i think to myself and wonder what my friends would think if they knew what i felt like, or what i think abt, and this sort of stuff, and i think theyd laugh and think i was silly or bratty and,:,;,;

ANWBENRHJTB IM JUST SO UPSET WYH DO PEOEL KEEP HATING ME AM I REALLY THAT TERRIBLE!3?!;?; even typing it out here doesnt help get it off my chest anymore.. all it really does is help me remember why i have every reason to be upset so i wont forget why i was angry like i usually do,,,;