#im still very meh about bits of the game but its been pretty fun :) it just makes me wanna replay origins and da2

[valentinesparda]

i am now at 70 hours of veilguard. I wanna talk about sethius but I can't bring myself to

[spoogster]

Tobias.

(This is literally just rambling, please don't get mad for any of this. Hes literally me (Im a fictive, but talking from a viewer point of view))

Headcanons and what not.

-Doesn't work for slenderman. Never wanted to. It was Slenders mind control, his heavy influence. The people he killed? Not as many as you think. But the people he did kill, it wasn't his fault.

-Hates Slenderman. Like absolutely despises him. The only thing Slender was good for was giving him a place to stay, even if it wasn't much.

-Slender mansion? Slender manor? No. Abandoned campsite? Log cabins in the woods? Yes. He shares a cabin with Cody (X-virus), and Jeff used to be there until he got kicked out (literally) for trying to cut a smile into Cody and Tobys masks and faces. They got Liu to replace Jeff.

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-Decent friends with: Cody (has to because they live together), Nina (she likes him more than he likes her but its okay), Natalie (they've always been chill), Liu (they're buddies, not like besties, but still friends), Helen (they do art together), Kate (guitar + mission buddies).

-Meh: E. J (has helped Toby recover(multiple times)), any of the animals (some of them bark too loud(one tried to bite his finger off)), Ben Drowned (gaming buddies), Jane (shes nice but doesn't really talk to him), Puppeteer (from their very few interactions, he's alright), Sally (forces him to have teapartys, though sometimes he enjoys it).

-Get away respectfully: Jeff (many reasons), Nurse Ann (shes pretty but too tall and scary seeming), Smile hd pinkie pie (sometimes fun but a little too murderous for him), Splendorman (a bit obnoxious sometimes).

-Get away. Like now.: 0ff3nd3rman (uhmm), Slenderman (ruined his life), Sully (no), Laughing Jack + Jill (too loud, annoying, jack gave him poisoned candy one time).

-No opinion: Sonic. Exe, BEN, Dina, Trendorman, Candypop, Jason, Lulu.

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-Music taste is The Front Bottoms, Mindless Self Indulgence, System Of A Down, Panic! At The Disco, Get Scared, Bring Me The Horizon, Greenday, Blink 182, Lincoln, Three Days Grace, My Chemical Romance, Pierce The Veil, Lovejoy, TV Girl, Mitski.

-Clothing is usually whatever he has that still fits him. Some of it is from an emo era he went through and is still in. So like, band t-shirts, studded belts, raccon tail clips, chains, ect. But sometimes he goes for more casual which is usually sweaters and baggy pants.

-Appearance. He had a fringe at one point but grew it out. Never cuts his hair, so it gets in his way a lot (ponytail is the solution). Curly hair but straightens it a lot of the time. Piercings galore. Hazel eyes ((note: sometimes I give him heterochromia cause it's cool)). Pale skin but not like the original Toby kind of pale. Has always been tall for his age but stopped growing around 18-19 because he was going through a tough time and food was hard to come by, he was too scared to steal, the food Slender gave him could have been poisoned, who knows? So hes left as about 5'10-5'11. Hes pretty thin but is slowly building muscle as time goes on. Has some chub in the stomach but he isnt too worried about it.

-His mask is made of a thick fabric on the outside and has metal bars on the front of the mask to almost represent a mussel (canon).

-Doesnt actually like turtlenecks, they make his neck feel trapped and weird. But he wears them anyways because they hide his proxy symbol that was permanently engraved in his skin (by Slender).

-Fingerless gloves? Yessir. They help cover his scared hands. As well as they just look cool. And whenever he kills someone it's less likely he'll get his dna on the body.

-Raccoon person. Collects things he finds that others would consider trash. Like pop tabs, broken glass pieces, shiny things, rocks, ect. Messy hair. Just like his personality gives off raccon.

-Cheek gash is because he chewed the inside of his cheek so much that the skin tore. And he didn't really care so the hole kept getting bigger until eventually he got himself to stop chewing it. But now the gash is too big to heal.

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-Has a couple guitars that he stole from music shops. The only one he didn't steal was one he got When he was first taken in. Slender gave it to him as "something to do" when he's bored. At first he didn't want it and never touched it. But he soon realised that it was really boring there. He tries to forget that Slender gave it to him. It's really beaten now, has worn down spots, and a bit of old blood dried onto the wood near the bottom of the strings because he strums too hard.

-Acoustic guitar: The really old musty beaten up one that Slender gave him. Almost turquoise in colour. Electric guitar: Black guitar that almost looks like something a rock star would have. Also kind of old. Doesn't use that one as much.

-Likes singing but gets nervous around people that arent in his cabin or Nat.

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-Likes cuddles, hand kisses (platonically), head pats and pets, people playing with his hair. But he doesn't like asking for it because he finds it embarrassing.

-Not as childish as people think. Just clingy to people he enjoys.

-Drawing is something he really enjoys doing if he's not playing the guitar. He'll draw people from the other cabins, characters from movies and shows he likes, and even characters from the Slenderverse. Not really that good at drawing anything else.

-Always too nervous to show people his drawings or things he likes.

-Doesn't like being called "Ticci" Toby. He never liked it. Will probably get mad if you call him it more than once.

-Has terrible memory. Not even from Slenderman, he's just always had bad memory, and Slender didnt help at all. He will probably to get basic things like birthdays or people, even his own sometimes.

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-Has never met anyone from the Slenderverse. But wants to.

-Feels bad for the others affected by Slender and the Slender sickness. But also enjoys the series. Even if the people go through literal hell.

-Would like to meet:

Tim, Brian, and Skully

Evan, Steph, and Jeff

Patrick and Michael

Chris

Milo/Mr scars and the Observer

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-Things hes interested in include other muderers, weapons (has a journal for writing the information), horror (analog horror + args), music, art.

-He really enjoys watching the old slasher movies and he probably has them for cd and vhs. But also enjoys Tim burton movies. As well as Spider-man movies and series.

-As for shows. South Park (enjoys the humour), Superstore (enjoys the humour), and just any paranormal show (finds it interesting).

-His favourite weapon (axe) is a Tactical Axe or more widely known as a Tactical Tomakawk Axe. But theyre too expensive for him too buy. There was one time where he stole one. But someone from another cabin stole it and he hasnt gotten it back.

-Food. He likes pizza, usually cheese or pepperoni (or cheese with black olives, tehe). Also enjoys fruit, like watermelon, baby grapes, apples (galas or green apples), and pineapple.

-Smoking? Vape? Drugs? No. Alcohol? Sometimes. Its just for a relief sometimes or cause he needed it. But he's not an alcoholic and never will be.

-Knows how to use bow and arrow

(Im probably gonna hate this in like a day or two so yeah)

[tarofel]

been in a very Kingdom Hearts mood recently so a small KH3 rant about random topics.

since it's the obvious ill just go over it, but the disney worlds have a lot of problems. several just have sora exist while the movie plays (tangled/frozen), others are just kinda bad (bighero6/monsters inc). i enjoyed olympus, toy story, and pirates most of all (they all have gameplay problems sadly), but all of the worlds mean nothing to the story in total.

there are also no original worlds you go around. twilight town is a... hub area? but not utilized barring one cutscene. it had more to it in KH2 than 3. yen sid's tower area was removed, nothing like traverse town or hollow bastion, not even like the world that never was (in this game you have a single hallway and then a gauntlet).

im not a big fan of the world design in this game. for me it's a step up from KH2 that was literally just hallways for most of it, but in a way KH3 feels like lengthy hallways of no consequence a lot of the time. though KH1 had its problems, its areas felt compact and connected. at times in KH3 i feel like im running forever getting to the next section, especially bad when grinding.

KH3 resolves all the problems set up all at once with no consequence, that'll be the next few sections.

xion comes back because the new organization just kinda found a person they didn't know and put them in a body bc they needed xehanort fodder. sure, that much is cool, but because of her being put in the final gauntlet she comes back very quickly. personally (i think i have a soft spot for xion) it feels like there's a lot more that could have happened with her that could helped sora grow. those funny nobody xion bosses from 358/2 could've made some sort of comeback too.

aqua is saved pretty easily by sora with one fight. meh.

ventus gets awoken because sora just believes in himself enough, despite the disney worlds being useless. you'd think there'd be more to either castle oblivion or the land of waking, or both even, but it's just a vanitas boss fight.

terra is probably fine (dont care too much about the bbs story too much honestly) but it still suffers being put in the gauntlet.

axel and kairi got to train in the dragonball hyperbolic time chamber but are still useless. honestly everyone was aside from sora donald and goofy (and mickey/yen sid at times) outside the gauntlet. not helped by every enemy being all-powerful in cutscenes.

i really despise xehanort as a character. he straight up is irredeemable and evil, grinning madly when he is killing and traumatizing children throughout the series. and then at the end of kh3 they go "actually you should feel bad for him, he's actually good(???). he wanted to destroy all worlds to function as a universe reset." i... straight up don't enjoy him.

attractions are incredibly unfun aside from a few times. i took too long to turn them off. the combat in the game is a mixed bag. i think shotlock dash is neat, but shotlock itself isn't that fun to me, basically just slowing down the game and needing you to point at the enemy for 5 seconds (while also losing your lock-on and pointing you in a random direction). removal of combo variations with square feels bad too.

i think this game has the worst gummi ship. it plays like a generic space exploration game with random guff scattered everywhere. WHY the HELL do you have to grind on SHOOTING ASTEROIDS to upgrade keyblades are you KIDDING ME. the golden ship makes it less painful but wow it's harder to get in critical mode.

the minigames suck. winnie the pooh is a single minigame copy-pasted 3 times. cooking is better but not by much, and im not a fan of having to find ingredients and cook them for a one-use meal.

i still haven't done the data organization in KH3 Re:Mind yet but it seems pretty fun, if a bit tough on critical mode. grinding out stat boosts is... a time. it's funny how i only got into the series only a few years ago, but it really grabbed me. wish 3 was more enjoyable, but i have some hope for 4.

[alreadyblondenow]

Sweet | Jung Jaehyun

❤︎ Jaehyun x female!reader ❤︎ Fluff? Smut, Smut, Smut, Smut, Tiny bit of angst, College AU, Established relationship ❤︎ 2/4 for LOVE MONTH SERIES: Boys Don’t Cry One is a big number | You and your words | Sweet | He loves me, he loves me not |

Summary: Jaehyun has always been in love with you but he thinks so highly of you that he never tried pursuing his feelings for you. All throughout your college years, Jaehyun endured every heartbreak secretly whenever you have a new boyfriend and can only love you secretly in his own ways. Wild. College years was wild and its all because of Jaehyun. After college, you and Jaehyun parted ways but life will reunite you again in the most shocking way. Jaehyun’s wedding.  

Word count: 13,707k

Warnings: Sex, sex, sex, and loads of sex, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, making of sex tape (with consent), making of amateur porn? (with consent), cam boys and cam girl?? idk what to call that but they fuck live, mentions of alcohol, period fingering, mentions of tampon, dry humping, oral sex female receiving, mentions of blowjob, slight blowjob scene,  mentions of other idols, swearing, college students who just wanna have fun haha, kissing and touching, fingering, and slight nipple play, mentions of having sex with Johnny. AH SLIGHT BREAK UP SEX! 

A/N: PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. PURE FICTION. okay, I know I said that this will be out on Jaehyun’s birthday but meh whatever I’m posting it and will post something else for hearts day. hehe. I hope you guys love this even though im just experimenting and trying to write longer fics, and seriously I wanted to write back to back smut with different feels so I guess im crossing that out of my bucket list. Also this is proof read once only so sorry. You may not be happy with the ending but I’m sure as hell happy with it so sorry. ​

Humans are prone to fall in love with the wrong people and the only thing you can do about it is to forgive yourself and move on. No matter how much history you had, no matter how many special moments or intimate ones you shared… if you know that he or she is not the right person for you then, you know.

Like this moment right now. For exactly ten minutes, you will realize why you and a certain someone never worked out.

“Hey, boss you have a 10 am meeting. Planning for everything” Your assistant says as you double-check your schedule to see the name of the client she’s talking about. “That’s the bride though, 0% progress for the wedding” she added.

“Yikes” you murmur and ready your stuff, “let’s fix that and give her a beautiful wedding. I need you to take down everything she says while I talk to her” you straighten your clothes and fix yourself before you face the client.

The moment you enter the room, the bride greets you with a big smile like she’s saying ‘thank you for saving me and my wedding’ even though you literally haven't done anything yet. Oh, you love seeing those hopeful eyes in every bride. “I’m just waiting for my fiancé, he’s the one who recommends coming here and I have a great feeling that I will have a beautiful wedding because of you”

“And my team,” you added and finished her sentence, “I want to introduce you to my assistant, she will be taking care of every request you say during our discussion later”

“And I want to introduce you to my fiancé, Jaehyun,” she said with a big smile and walked towards his fiancé.

And just like that your ordinary day at the office became extraordinary. Because nothing is normal about Jung Jaehyun, nothing is normal about those dimpled smile that automatically makes your heart skip a beat.

“Baby, this is the wedding organizer” her smile has no hint of mock, she’s not even proud that she has a very handsome fiancé and obviously she doesn’t know who you are. She’s just happy that she’s marrying Jaehyun. That’s all. And in those eyes, you see that Jaehyun is in the right hands.

“Mhmm. Me, Johnny, and Ms. Y/n right here are dorm mates. So you’re talking to the best wedding organizer,” you snorted at what Jaehyun said.

“Thank you for that introduction Jung, now let’s talk about your wedding”

And so, you worked your magic to them the whole morning. Explaining things, showing stuff, asking them what they want. From the wedding reception, wedding dress appointments, and picking of cakes… she has no idea of what she wants. Good thing you do know what you’re doing and you planned everything smoothly after a few hours. And for hours and hours, you watched them smile at each other, lowkey flirted in front of you but you didn’t feel any jealousy, hurt, or regret.

When the exhausting meeting was finally done and finally you’re alone at your office, a soft knock brought you back to reality and a familiar voice was behind it. “Can I come in?” Jaehyun asks.

“Of course, it’s open” you watch him enter your office like he’s some kind of a ghost and made the room cold in an instant.

“I just want to say thank you for helping us out- thank goodness the world is small… Literally, the wedding will be a mess”

“Just doing my job Jae,” you smiled sweetly to him, “your fiancé is lovely-“

“I did love you Y/n. And I’m sorry for hurting you like that, I told you, you deserve better. I’m glad we both found our happiness” he flashed that dimpled smile again and thanked you one last time.

The little reunion ended with small smiles, nods here and there, and in just a few seconds Jaehyun is out from your office and quickly replaced by your assistant to give you your afternoon coffee. Awkward and curious, she placed the coffee in front of you. Obviously, she wanted to know your past with the groom. And when she finally dropped the question, you remembered everything, moments crashing and drowning you right this instance.

Eight years ago  

“Are you even trying, you’re no fun!”  

Your best friend shouts at you from the other side of the table, waiting for you to throw the ball, waiting for you to miss. It was just beer pong but you don’t know why the game was so fucking frustrating and no matter how hard you concentrate you can’t score. Maybe it’s because you’re all alone and you’re competing against your best friend and her boyfriend. Fuck that you thought, you don’t need a man.

“Fuck” you murmur and miss again. You watch your best friend’s boyfriend score another one and of course, you have to drink again. But just when you’re about to get the ball from drink, a stranger’s hand was quick to get the cup, remove the ball and drink the alcohol.

“Mind if I join and help you win?” He flashed you a dimpled smile that immediately made you smile back at him. You take back what you said earlier, maybe you do need someone.

“Come on! Let him in, maybe he’s a better competition” your best friend shouts once again. Oh, you’re very happy that you’re not going to the same college.

As you welcome the handsome stranger and gave him the honor of throwing the ball, you warned him first that your opponents can be very annoying but he doesn't seem to care and just let out a small laugh. Cocky you thought, but confidence looks sexy on him.

And finally. Fucking finally, your best friend had a taste of her own medicine.

“I’m Jaehyun by the way,” he was lowkey flirting with you and you’re not stupid to not notice. “Here, I’ll teach you how to throw” he put the ball in your palm and stood behind you, hands on your waist to keep you steady, arms raised together, and you swear his lips were so near at your nape that you got shivers whenever he talks. “let the ball bounce near a cup and it will land on one” he added. But how can you score if he’s making it hard for you? You did it anyways, threw the ball near a cup and he was right. It landed on the cup you wish to aim and finally, you’re starting to have fun.

The game went on and you and Jaehyun flirted, talked, and exchange deep glances the entire game but winning it at the same time. His one hand is always around your waist even if it's not necessary whenever he’s the one throwing the ball, and whenever the other team scores, he’s the one drinking the alcoholic beverage for you.

At the end of the game, you and Jaehyun won the golden prize which is very awkward when he showed it to you.

“All that frustration and competition for a condom?” you can’t believe that the prize is a single condom.

“We don’t have to use it, it can just be our trophy you know” he let out a small laugh and put the condom in his pocket, and changed the subject.

As the night went deeper, you and Jaehyun had your own little world in that corner at the kitchen with a beer in your hand while you talk about your interest from music to movies. It was pretty crowded but no one seems to care especially Jaehyun because he loves how incredibly close he is to you right now. Until a drunk person bumped Jaehyun and he accidentally spilled his beer on your blouse. Seems like the universe is making a way for you two to eventually hook up and use the condom.

“Shit-shit!” Jaehyun was panicking at the moment and he doesn’t know what to do other than remove his hoodie and cover you with it before anyone sees your see-through blouse and took you somewhere less crowded to help you clean up the mess he put you through.

In a stranger's room upstairs, he locked the door to let you change while he looks for something to dry your clothes with. Luckily, he saw a hairdryer and quickly plugged it in beside the bed and started drying your shirt.

You were conscious for some time, clinging to a stranger's blanket with nothing but your pants underneath it. You watch Jaehyun dry your bra, checking it from time to time if it's ready to go. And when it's finally dry, he hands it to you with an awkward smile but still managed to make your heart beat fast. “I’m really sorry,” he started, a quickly avoided his gaze from you again as you turn your back from him, put down the blanket, and wear your bra like there's no one with you.

“It was an accident, don’t beat yourself up,” you said, there’s no way he’s going to let this go you’re sure of it, so with all your bravery, you came closer to him while he's busy drying your blouse and kissed him on the cheek. “You've been saving me the whole night. You saved me from boredom and from losing and now, you're drying my clothes. So sweet of you,” you added and looked at him sweetly, resting your forehead on his and making the moment even more intense by putting down the blanket in front of him. Allowing him to see you with only wearing your bra and pants, inviting him to make this moment unforgettable for the two of you.

Of course, he's not stupid and did exactly what you had in mind. In one swift moved his lips are on your lips, hands on your shoulders to put your bra straps down, and you unclasped your bra and threw it on the floor before you started to kiss him more intensely.

Jaehyun kissed you exactly how you wanted to be kissed, with want and with lust. His breath and the sound of wet kisses sounded perfect as it surrounds the room. You felt him bite your neck then feel him smile against your skin when his intentions of turning you on even more is working.

Kisses became deeper, playful, and wet when he started to go down to your chest and started kissing the valley between your boobs. His big hands knead your right boob, while his left hand is placed on your waist. Oh when his tongue brushed on your nipple for the first time, you rolled your head back and arched your back as if you wanted him to do more and play more with your boobs.

And just like that the cold night became warm and you feel it getting warmer and warmer by every second and it’s all because of Jaehyun.

He flashed a dimpled smile at you when he saw that you're more than liking what he's doing to you and stopped to open the lampshade. The room was immediately softly illuminated which you thought is romantic even though everything that’s happening right now is totally unplanned.

"Your boobs have spit all over, wait let me get that for you" you were just about to tell him that it's fine but he was quick to remove his shirt and reveal his godlike body right before your eyes. “If you just want to kiss and touch the whole night, I’m fine with that but I am very horny right now that I got you covered with spit,” he said while wiping his spit from your boobs and chest using his shirt.  

If you’re perfectly honest, you’re nervous about what can happen in the next few minutes. But there’s no way in hell that you’re going to let this pass, it’s not every day a handsome man is eager to fuck you. You just have to suck it up, not tell him that you’re a virgin, perform and look like you know what you’re doing. "No, it's fine I'm horny too" and you proved it by kissing him again, cupping his face with both of your hands, and with all your strength you roll on top of him. "Wait here," you said as you push him back on the mattress when he tried to get a hold of you.

You went down from the bed to remove your pants and underwear, he did the same as quickly as he can and you think he's cute for being excited to fuck. You crawled in between his legs, sat nicely on top of him but the impatient guy sat up and met your lips again. One hand supporting his weight, one hand on your waist. "You're so fucking beautiful I'm having a hard time to breath for the last few minutes" he whispers so sexily while kissing your jaw, leaving his mark to remind you the next day about tonight.

For a minute, you felt shy because you've never been naked with someone in bed. But the way Jaehyun kisses you makes you trust him, the way he touches your body with care make you want him more. And again, those fucking lips just made you roll your hips against his hardening cock and it made you both moaned so good that he asked you to do it again. And so you did.

Letting his cock slide in between your folds is a new feeling for you. Not even grinding on your vibrator will give you such an amazing feeling. Grinding on Jaehyun's cock while his mouth plays with your boobs felt fucking good that your grip on his locks tightens but he doesn't care. But for someone untouched like you, you made sure you never forget the feeling whenever his tongue swirls while you roll your hips, how he bites your nipples whenever he feels you're slowing down, and the vibrations that share with you whenever he grunts a little too loud and you feel it all over your body.

Soon Jaehyun switched places with you, putting you underneath him to catch his breath and stop himself from cumming. He reached for your hand and hold it dearly, kissing your knuckles and the back of your hand. “Forgive me if I become rough tonight, I can promise an aftercare don’t worry,” he says and gave you one last kiss before he pulls away and gets the condom from the pocket of his discarded pants. Putting the protection in front of you to assure you, thank goodness to that condom you thought.

As soon as he crawls back in between your legs again, his hand moved around your body like he’s telling you he owns you, smiling in between kisses whenever he accidentally tickles you. Hands slipping in between your thighs and fingers brushed automatically on your very wet slit. You jolt because of the new feeling but careful not to show Jaehyun that this is your first time being finger fucked. So you closed your eyes to avoid his gaze but Jaehyun gave your ass a tight squeeze and put his thumb on your wet slit, admiring how wet he made you already which made you open your eyes again and moan his name deliciously.

“I like the sound of that,” he says, kissing your neck and down Jaehyun goes, kissing your body until he reaches your pussy to give you few licks before he fucks you.

The way he licked your wet folds made your toes curl and your legs spread even wider. Pushing his head away, crushing his head with your legs then spreading it wide again, and begged him but you’re not sure what for.  

“Jae- you eat pussy like a pro” or maybe you’re just telling that because it’s your first time being eaten out. That even the way he puts the right amount of force to stop your legs from closing whenever he flicks his tongue is perfect. And when he saw you relaxing and can handle the pleasure already, his hands cupped both of your boobs and pinched your nipples, making you moan his name loudly “Jae!-“ and arch your back as a sign that you’re almost there, and if he doesn’t stop soon you might cum now.

But of course, Jaehyun didn’t stop and made you cum using his tongue for the first time tonight. Your legs felt like jelly and you can even feel that your pussy is still sensitive. “Thought it’s going to be just a few licks?” you said weakly, wiping your pussy juices from his chin and planting a soft kiss on his lips as a thank you, but he doesn’t know that.

“Changed my mind, you taste good. I might even go for another round-“

And right before he goes down on you again, you stopped him and told him you’re still sensitive. Which thankfully he listened and kissed you instead of licking you. And when you’re finally good to go again, he holds you by your ankles, kiss your neck and touch your body for a few seconds before he finally lines his cock on your very wet slit. Sliding it up and down, teasing you and making you horny and even more aroused.  

When he finally pushed his cock in your hole, Jaehyun thought his dick will slide in smoothly because, one, he thought you’re not a virgin anymore and two, you’re dripping on the sheets but still he’s having a hard time pushing in. Then he saw your face, contorting like you’re in pain rather than seeing you furrow your brows, part your lips, and make beautiful sounds.

For you, it fucking hurts and you would rather suck it up than tell him you’re still a virgin and ruin the mood. But the man on top of you is not stupid and surprisingly he pulled out slowly and came closer to your body once again to face you, “I’m about to be your first time, am I right? You’re so tight and I’ve never encountered a hole like that ever since my first fuck”

Busted you thought. You thought of any more ways to get out of this situation but he looks like he’s okay with it. “Are you mad?” you asked shyly and avoiding his stare.

“No” he admitted, “Actually I’m turned on. But I’ll go slow and sorry if I hurt you at first. Want to try again?”

You nod oh eagerly to his question and finally, you can breathe and enjoy the moment. He gave you a few kisses before he continues and went back to lining his cock, he made you wrap your arms around his neck and asked you to spread your legs even wider. And when he pushed in again, there’s that good stretch you’ve been hearing so much about. The feeling of Jaehyun’s cock go slowly inside you was incredibly good even though he’s not fucking you raw right now.

“The condom is thin-“ he grunts and moaned a few times, “you’re so tight. And fuck you look hot. Does it feel good now?” he whispers and started to roll his hips once which made you both moan and let out sharp gasps.

He fucks you slow and deep until the sting from the stretch is replaced by pleasure. You rake his body with your nails, holding him on his nape, and grab a fistful of hair whenever he tries to give you a powerful thrust which you loved so you asked for more.

He sat on his knees and pull away from your body then immediately gave you a hard thrust, watching your boobs bounce with lidded eyes, kneading them whenever he wants to. In a matter of few minutes, his thrust became animalistic that your head is dangling on the edge of the bed, moaning and gasping sharply but the man above you kept on fucking you hard, savoring the condom and trying not to cum so soon. So whenever he’s on edge, he pulls out immediately and spreads kisses around your body, sucking your boobs until your nipples are swollen, playing with your slit until you’re cumming for the third time tonight using his fingers.

“Not yet, I want more time with you,” he says while kissing your neck and reaching for your hand to intertwine it with his.

“Jaehyun, I can’t take it anymore. Please cum already” you begged with ragged breaths.

“Fine, fine. Since you asked nicely, but promise me to give me your number after we fuck”

“I will if you make me cum using your dick” he was amused by your answer and effortlessly flipped you on your stomach and asked you to put your ass in the air. He kissed your shoulders first, making you feel safe before the grand finale. Hands on your ass while he slowly thrust in again and fuck, he does make your knees weak.

“You were just a virgin a few minutes ago, but now you’re begging huh, okay” he says before he gave you a hard thrust that made you land flat on your stomach but he was quick to lift your hips again and give you another hard thrust.

Thrust after thrust you feel the impact in your body and for sure your body will be sore the next day. You call his name over and over again but you’re not sure what you’re begging for because he is fucking you good. Hard but good. And when finally Jaehyun is on edge for the nth time tonight, he did not pull out and kept fucking you but this time he doubled his pace that you can only hear skin slapping and his beautiful moans.

“Fuck Jaehyun- I’m cumming again, don’t you dare fucking stop” you grip the sheets and arch your back more, taking every thrust Jaehyun gives you and shut your eyes close as you let go and cum for the fourth time tonight.

Thrust

Thrust

Thrust

He gave you three powerful thrusts before you both flop on the mattress and catch your breath together. Your bodies were warm and sweaty, the room smelled like sex but no one cares. You feel bad to the owner of this bed.

While you catch your breath and calm yourself down, Jaehyun busies himself with discarding the condom and looking for something to cover your exposed body before he makes a wrong decision like asking you for round two.

“Thanks” you said weakly when he covered you with the blanket.

“I hope you’re okay with me being your first” he says and lies beside you again, keeping you close to him.

“I’m more than okay with it” you kissed him on the lips like you’re keeping a souvenir, “I hate to ruin this moment that we shared but, we have to go back to the party” you watch him shook his head no and pretended to be asleep, “Mhmm. Come on, I’ll help you get dressed” you added.

To be perfectly honest Jaehyun wanted to stay with you for a few more minutes, he wanted to know more about you, he wanted to hold your hand just a little bit longer. “Stay with me” he asks of you, but you refused with a heavy heart. You exchanged cellphone numbers of course, but when you two got back to the party, hand in hand and back to flirting with each other, your friends are quick to get a hold of you. and the next thing you know you’re inside your friend’s car, on your way home and you couldn’t stop thinking about him.

On the next day, you woke up very sore and you couldn’t walk properly but the thought of what happened last night just makes you smile and all giggly. You waited for his text the whole day, checking your phone from time to time and hoping that whenever it beeps, Jaehyun’s name is on the screen but no.

You thought that waiting for him for a day is normal, maybe he got hungover and slept the whole day. But after a few days later, still you got no texts from him and that part is not normal anymore. You started to think that you’re just a one-time thing for him and you feel stupid for even thinking that Jaehyun can and eventually pursue you.

Everything that happened that night, should be forgotten and you should enjoy the remaining months of your summer before you finally move in to your college dorm. On top of that, you deleted his number and tried to forget the man who made you feel good in bed for the first time.

Now that you’re weeks away from officially being a college student, you decided to settle in your college dorm as early as now so you can have more time to know your dorm mates. Little did you know, that the world is incredibly small and you will end up being dorm mates with Jaehyun alongside his best friend Johnny who welcomed you with a big bear hug like you’ve known each other for years.

It’s not that you weren’t happy to see him when he opened the door for you, it’s just that... it was such an awkward moment because you’ve seen each other naked and... he didn’t call you back. Nonetheless, you pretended to know each other for the first time today, shake his hand and give him a hug. Which you didn’t want to end so soon.

“Hey, uhm… glad to see you settle in” he started and closed your door so Johnny would not hear whatever conversation you’re about to have.

“Yeah, thank you for welcoming me warmly. Johnny is sweet by the way” you said awkwardly while folding your clothes and putting them in your cabinet.

“Uh, about that. Uhm, can you uh-“

“Not tell him that something happened between us?” he nods slowly at what you said, “sure” you wanted to scoff so bad and throw a fit at him, but you didn’t want to ruin your move in day and just shrugged it off.

Starting that day, you tried your best not to be awkward with Jaehyun and really try your best to forget about the sex. The sex that felt good, the sex that can make your toes curl by just merely thinking about it. Although you had a hard time because whenever you touch yourself at night, you remember everything that happened between you two and you end up fantasizing about fucking Jaehyun again. But now that you’re living with him and you see him every day, it's not just about the sex now.

During the summer you were convinced that Jaehyun is a guy who had sex with you and left you hanging. But seeing him every day and knowing him even more by living together, the truth about Jaehyun slapped you so hard that you even liked him even more now. He is a warm person, whose heart is full of care and compassion, or maybe even more than that.

Eventually, you did forget about the sex and your little crush on Jaehyun. Thank goodness, you thought. You couldn’t have done it without a few hookups during your freshman year. And when everything is all nice and pleasant again between you and Jaehyun, you became good friends and started to look after each other.

You were like family in that small dorm during your starting years together. The two giant knows how to cook so a good meal is never a problem, you have study sessions whenever it’s needed and whenever someone is going through something, you were there for each other.

It was great and comforting because you do everything together. But not until Jaehyun realized that he’s not immune to your charms anymore and now he’s falling for you. Hard.

Over the years of living together, Jaehyun saw your true colors. Now he knows you’re more than just a hookup. You were a gem that he found in a stranger’s party and he was such a fool for not calling you back during the summer. It’s true what they say that regrets are always at the end. Now he can only admire you and love you in ways where he can’t ruin this amazing friendship that you have.

Jaehyun endured every heartbreak whenever he sees you with another man or hearing you moan from the other side of the room whenever you and your boyfriend have sex. And when that jerk broke your heart, his broke two times than yours because he can’t do anything to ease your pain, make you realize your true worth and help you move on.

“You don’t need that guy,” Jaehyun says as he pulls you for a hug while Johnny massages your toes. The two giants were a good support system, not to mention they really want to beat your ex’s butt but you told them ‘thanks but, no don’t do that’. And while you’re crying in Jaehyun’s arms, staining his hoodie with your tears, he promised to himself that he will never hurt you or make you cry.

Now that he’s frustrated and mad at himself because he can’t help you, he decided to help himself instead. He watched on the sides and used different girls to make him forget about you, which is hardly impossible by now because even the little things you do make him crazy. Like whenever you ask him to eat dinner with you when Johnny is out for work, or whenever you take care of him when he goes home batshit drunk and can’t even stand up straight.

For Jaehyun, his college years were all about yearning. Yearning for you, your attention, your touch, and your love. But even though you’re now single and have already moved on from your ex, he still can’t confess his feelings for you because he believes that you deserve someone better than him. Jaehyun knew he hurt you already, and he will not forgive himself if he does it again.  

Senior year

In a middle of a busy cafeteria, you, Johnny, and Jaehyun are thinking of ways how to earn money for your dorm rent. This semester made you guys bring out a lot of cash because of books and some of your rent money was needed to sacrifice for education. But now that you guys are a month late with your rent, you have no idea where to get cash knowing all too well that your parents won’t chip in.

“I could sell some of my clothes” Jaehyun suggested while drinking his coffee.

“Dude your clothes are all black, no one would ever buy those” Johnny bites back just to annoy his friend. “Though girls will buy it because it’s from you-“

“Stop it with your nonsense John”

“Or! You can sell some of your nudes, I already know a lot of buyers” Johnny added with an annoying smile.

“Or you two can just fuck each other because you’re the hottest guys on campus but your asses are broke” you tease them further but you have no idea that you just gave out the solution to all your problems. “What?” you asked them as they both smile at you, shy for no reason, and eyeing each other like they’re having a secret conversation using their eyes.

Johnny clears his throat before he starts, “You just suggested to make porn… and porn is good money. A few students do it these days” he clears his throat again before he continues, “We know because we watch porn-“

“Okay, I don’t need to know that part. What are you saying? Are you suggesting we make porn?” you said, eyes big as you look at them.  

“You suggested it. Not us. But yeah. It’s good money Y/n” Johnny once again explained.

“Well, okay. I’ll hold the camera while you two fuck. How do we do this?” you avoid their eyes as your body heats the more you talk.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not fucking Johnny” Jaehyun announces.

“Nope. Me too I’m not fucking Jaehyun, you choose Y/n. No hard feelings, but consider the size” he winks but you know that he’s just joking.

Good thing the awkward conversation was cut when your alarm went off and you have to go to your next class. You gather your stuff and told them to think of better ways to earn money because there’s no way you’re having sex with any of them. Especially not with Jaehyun.

The idea of making money through porn crosses your mind every five minutes and you can’t concentrate with your class. Plus, your landlord kept on sending messages reminding you that in three days, you’re going to be two months late with the rent. But still, whenever you imagine having sex with any of them, it gives you great goosebumps and you can’t handle the awkwardness anymore.

After your class, you were spacing out and still weighing things over regarding the porn making, and unexpectedly, one of your friends brought up ‘amateur porn’ and you’ve never been so nervous in your life. She was talking about how she and her boyfriend went live for a good twenty minutes and they made loads of cash, “and guess what, it’s all for fun! We were really just fooling around but apparently, people do love those kinds of stuff and they pay good money”

Your mouth almost fell when she mentioned the cash they earned for only twenty minutes. And in that twenty minutes, you can cover one month's rent pay already. You just have to cum in front of thousands of people. So with a mind blinded by the possibility of earning too much cash, you said yes to the idea of making porn. The only question is, with whom?

Johnny and Jaehyun stood in front of you as they wait for your answer after telling them what your friend told you about making porn. Of course you picked Jaehyun. Not because you miss him, and not because you have history, but because you don’t want to be awkward with Johnny. While Jaehyun on the other hand is feeling proud and hopeful behind that poker face of his, he thought that you chose him because you already know what’s in store for you if you fuck with him again and of course he thought that maybe you miss him.

“Johnny doesn’t really need to hold the camera for us right? We can just place it, and secure it somewhere” you added and watch Jaehyun agree without looking at you.

“You two have the place tomorrow night then. M-make sure you raise the quota and cover three months of payment... for safety” Johnny says to Jaehyun and you with a smile that says, ‘thank goodness I didn’t have to watch you both fuck’.

Before you sleep tonight, unexpectedly Jaehyun paid you a visit. And there’s that nervous feeling again, you feel like you’re back in your freshman days when you don’t know what to do whenever you see Jaehyun and you just have to pretend that nothing is bothering you.

Breathing in and out, you opened the door quickly and went back to your bed and under the covers to cover your exposed legs. Little did you know that Jaehyun already saw that you’re not wearing anything besides your lacy panties and an oversized shirt.

“Your ears are red,” you teased him.

“Well next time you should wear pajamas instead of your underwear to sleep” he winked and placed the mask that you’re going to be using tomorrow and sat on the edge of your bed.  

“What are you? A stranger? You’re so far, come here” you invited him under your sheets and lie in bed face to face like nothings bothering you two. You put your hand above his head and feel his soft locks, careful not to grip so hard and hurt the man you used to have feelings for.

This is why Jaehyun can’t move on from you. You always make him feel like he’s your favorite person in the world.

“Are you going to leave me hanging again after we have sex tomorrow?” You confronted him.

“That’s impossible now, we live together” he giggles and catches your hand so he could hold it.

“Just promise me after the sex tomorrow we’ll still be friends” you felt his grip loosen up like he became hopeless like he didn’t like what you just said.

“I was actually going to say that I want us to try again. Get things right this time”

And in that very moment, your world stopped and your body feels hot, suddenly you’re sweating and your heart is beating faster. To be honest you don’t know what to say.

Then,

“Kidding. I’m kidding. Just making you laugh before you sleep, and y-yeah. I promise nothing will change between us, cross my heart” he got up from your bed, turned off the lights and turned on your lampshade. “Sleep well okay?”

And just like that, he left again. You don’t know if you were relieved that it was only a joke or your heart broke because deep inside, you’re waiting for him to tell you that ever since Freshman year. Nonetheless, you do what you do best. Sleep it off and pretend nothing happened.

On the next day, you were at the kitchen preparing breakfast and spacing out while you flip pancakes. Most of them got burnt and you blame Jaehyun for that.

“I told you to sleep, didn’t I?”

There he goes again, startling you and flashing a very handsome smile at you like you’re not about to do something stupid later. “Johnny went to work early and took an overtime tonight just so you won’t get shy” he hands you a glass of water, figured you might need one because you looked so tensed.

“We can always text him when we're done” you added, he nods. And there’s the awkward silence again.

You finish your breakfast in one go, not even looking at Jaehyun. Usually, during breakfast, you talk mostly about your plans within the day but given the situation right now, obviously, you don’t want to know his plans because that includes you. Good thing the day went on normally. You cleaned the living room, he cleaned the kitchen, you cleaned your room, he cleaned his. You saw him changing his bedsheets and you think that’s a sweet gesture, you wanted to tease him but that won’t help you with your nervousness so you just smiled at him when he caught you looking.

When it’s finally afternoon and you’re going to fuck live in a few minutes, you were surprised at what he did to his room just so you won’t get nervous anymore. The golden ray of afternoon light was perfect and helped you calm in no time, Jaehyun lit some scented candles and lowered the thermostat of his air conditioning so you won’t get cold.

“Thought I should make this special- not that I’m saying our first wasn’t “ he rambles and scratches his head, ears turning red and now you can see that he’s nervous too. “But come on, I want to do right for you” he caresses your shoulders and nods his head as a signal that you two needed to start.

The mood was nothing like your first, there was no sexual tension or any sign of desire to fuck each other. In other words, he looked like he’s just doing this for the dorm rent and you are too. That’s why maybe stripping in front of Jaehyun while your back is against him was easier than you thought. But you didn’t know that the man was craving for you. He wanted to be the one removing your clothes while his lips roam on your neck, make you feel good and wanted just before the live starts. He wanted to do that.

“Remember your promise okay?” You put on your mask and Jaehyun did too. He was still fully clothed and while you’re lying in his bed comfortably, watching him strip in front of you but not for you. The camera is right above your head so the viewers can imagine that they are the ones having sex with Jaehyun. If that won't give you a lot of money then you don’t know what will.

Jaehyun was a natural, you wanted to tell him that he does look like a pornstar but you’re not allowed to talk. When he finally crawled on the bed, straight between your legs and spread them according to his want, a shiver went straight to your spine and immediately made you wet. He shamelessly kissed your inner thighs first and went all the way up until he reaches your lips.

Finally. You both thought.

But his kisses were different and you wonder why. You feel like you’re not kissing Jaehyun because you know how his kiss can affect you, although his touch was still the same. He can still make you jolt and part your lips with just using his fingers and a few teasing here and there. And when he finally put his cock inside you, that’s the part where you finally believe that Jaehyun is indeed the one in bed with you right now. You will never forget how that cock feels inside you, “I miss you” he whispered very softly, hoping that the viewers did not hear it.

Time flies so fast that the live will end in ten minutes now and Jaehyun has been fucking you deep and slow like he’s savoring the feeling again. When you heard him grunt and moan, that made your toes curl and clench accidentally around him. Making him groan a little louder and fuck you a bit faster. You moaned so loud just so he knows you’re very much close to your high, and in just a few minutes you both cum together and the next thing you know he’s pulling out and letting his cum land on top of your pussy lips for the viewer’s pleasure.

Fuck you wish he didn’t pull out.

He grabbed his phone from above you and turned the damn timer off because you may not know, but the timer was screaming at him that his time with you is over. You removed your mask and he removed his too. And there you saw tears in his eyes, or maybe those are sweat? Nonetheless, you asked him what’s wrong and made him look at you. But instead of answering your question, he kissed you. Hands on both sides and cupping your face as he kisses you deeper.

And there’s that kiss you’ve been waiting for. The kiss that you’ve been wanting to experience again for years and years. You shouldn’t be happy, but you’re actually genuinely happy that your rent pay is late and you get to do this again with Jaehyun.

“I missed you too” finally you said it.

He smiled so sweetly to you and went back to the kiss, spreading your legs again, checking your slit if you’re still wet. And without further ado, he thrust in. Slowly again, but this time he’s proving a point. Like he’s telling you something. And now that you can see his face, you can’t help but feel excited and the butterflies in your stomach are very much excited too that you were smiling in between kisses.

“Ride me” he says, and effortlessly he trades places with you. Holding you on your back, lips still locked like you’re not planning to stop any time soon. And for your own pleasure, you guided his hands and made him knead your boobs. He did more than kneading, Jaehyun sucked your nipples and pinched them to hear you moan.

“A lot has changed Jae” you said, pushing him down to the mattress and intertwined your fingers with his, kissed them and placed them on your hips. You started rolling your hips without a warning, making the man underneath you close his eyes and part his lips. There are many things you wanted to do with him now that you had the privilege to ride him, but you decided to go hard because this might be the last time you’re going to fuck Jaehyun again.

You ride him like you didn’t have sex for years. Skin slapping from rolling your hips faster than he expected, letting your boobs bounce in front of him and letting him touch them whenever he wants to. “It’s hard to pull out when you’re on top, want to switch places?” He was struggling to talk, obviously he’s trying so hard not to cum yet but you’re good at what you’re doing.

“Not tonight” and that promise just made Jaehyun moan deliciously like he’s excited to cum now just so he can experience cumming inside you.

“Y-yeah. That’s right Y/n fuck me. Oh you fuck me so good! Shit- why did I ever let you go. Fuck”

The thing is, you love seeing him all fucked up and love hearing him praise the way you fuck him... but he chose the wrong words. And those words went straight to your heart. The words ‘Why did I ever let you go?’ repeated over and over again while you ride so fast that you’re overstimulating him already. He was begging for you to stop but it was too late when you heard him.

When you finally stopped, you see his cum dripping from your pussy even though you’re not yet removing his cock from you. You catch your breath for a second and came closer to Jaehyun. Good thing he has enough strength to hug you and roll you to the mattress so he could have the honor to pull his cock out.

“You’re right a lot has changed,” he says because his silly crush on you grew and grew and now he’s completely in love with you. “Let’s not shower together, I’m afraid I’ll lure you to have shower sex with me”

“And what’s so wrong about that” you bite back.

“Oh so you’re confident now huh,” he kissed you once again, and shit you never want him to leave your lips.

But every good thing comes to an end. You went back to your room and showered separately, as planned and when you went to the living room, he was all cleaned up and looking so fresh. He was wearing his glasses, hair almost covering his eyes, he looked cozy in his oversized shirt and his favorite plaid pajamas. “Come here,” He pats the seat next to him, signaling you to come watch Netflix with him. Surprisingly, his arms wrapped around you and kept you close to him, subtly smelling your shampoo. He giggled at the thought of imagining you taking a shower while smiling because the sex was fucking awesome.

He played a movie and watched it with you just so he can still keep you close to him. Not even halfway through the movie, he caught you sleeping soundly on his lap and slowly covered your exposed legs with the blanket on the couch. He pats and pats your head until his attention was no longer in the movie that he’s watching but his mind lingers to what happened earlier and eventually fell asleep beside you too.

It was very late when Johnny went home and caught you two all snuggled up on the couch, snoring and slept through to what you were watching. He had a hunch that you two had a great time, smiled and turned off the TV, and wished you both a good night's sleep.

“I have bad news” Johnny announces as you and Jaehyun wake up together on the couch, all smiles and in an incredibly good mood but Johnny was quick to ruin that. “The money you earned from yesterday’s live was not enough”

You don’t know why Jaehyun was still smiling at you even though what Johnny just told you completely ruined your day already. “That’s not bad news, right?” He whispers to you and gave you a look. “I’m okay with doing it again until we cover everything” Jaehyun says to Johnny while you three sit in front of each other, drinking your coffees.

“I’ll work double shifts at the radio station- are you fine with doing it again Y/n?” Johnny asks, and for a second there you feel like you’re in the hot seat.

“Y-yeah. I’m okay with it” you scratch your nape and awkwardly sip your coffee, “it’s easy money, I think if we do more lives we can cover three months pay”

“More lives it is. Don’t worry John, I’ll take other slots at the radio station too for groceries and stuff” Jaehyun added.

The live fucking continues and so is fooling around with Jaehyun, having better sex every after going live and whenever Johnny is not around. It’s like playing with fire, but you don’t exactly know if what you’re doing is wrong or right because you’re both single, so why are you guys hiding? You don’t get it, but you just go with the flow, enjoy what’s happening and hope for the best.

Every sex you have grown more and more intense to the point that your beds are moving and that gives you better reviews in live fucking. Not to mention the money is better now and you’re saving up faster than expected. But whenever the camera is off and you’re having sex without an audience, you guys fuck like you’re together and you love each other.

Sweet love bites here and there, sincere praises and longer kisses. For Jaehyun he feels like he’s having a dream because he gets to do the things he wanted to do with you. Remove your clothes while kissing you, whisper the things he has been holding back to say for years, and make you feel loved and important.

And just like the sex, your cuddling session became even warmer and sweeter. Cuddling after you take a shower has always been your thing, he visits you in your room with damped hair and you help him dry his hair, Netflix and chill, or order in and have a great meal together.

Days went by and you’re getting used to this sweet Jaehyun and you well know that’s dangerous. But you love every dangerous thing about Jaehyun. The following days grew extremely sweet and intimate. You sleep in his room every night and basically do everything together from now on. The only time you two were apart is during class hours but after that, Jaehyun is right outside your classroom waiting for you.

“What are you doing?” you giggle and try to finish the book you’re reading in bed when Jaehyun suddenly entered your room, crawled on your bed, and went in between your legs. Removing your glasses for safety, inviting you to fuck while Jaehyun nibs your ear and caress your legs. Oh his kisses always make your head turn and ask for more.

“Johnny is not around and I just took a shower, hmm? What do you say?” He uses that cute tone that can always make you stop what you’re doing and say yes to him. Forget the book, you can finish it later.

Removing your shorts and underwear while he continuously kisses you, smiling and giggling while he whispers ‘you always look pretty’ before he removes your shirt and exposes your boobs to him. You tried getting up and help him remove his clothes, but he stopped you and kissed you down on the mattress. “Nu-uh. Stay there I’ll treat you good tonight” he winked and proceeds to remove his clothes in between your spread legs, your hands roam freely in his well sculpted and fucking beautiful body.

Then he reached for your phone and took a nice picture while you two are kissing. The sound of the camera clicking made your eyes open, “send me this picture later. So I can stop missing you” you smiled and nod, then Jaehyun took one too many pictures so he could focus on you again. When he’s finally contented with all the pictures he got, he finally thrust in deep and slow while his mouth is sucking one of your nipples and he looks incredibly handsome.

This time, it’s you who grabbed your phone and took some pictures of him sucking your boobs and making you feel good, taking some pictures of his cock inside your pussy while he thrusts. Jaehyun had the idea of taking a video while you two fuck but this time, it’s for his and your eyes only. He took the phone from you and recorded how he fucks you good, and did not miss the part where you part your lips and moan.

“Jaehyun I’m almost there” you moan out, fingerings raking his nape or on his beautiful body. He puts the camera on the bedside table with a perfect angle of him fucking you, without masks or any cover. He intertwines his fingers with yours before he fucks you hard and fast. The camera that’s recording everything was completely forgotten and Jaehyun focused on making you feel good, making you cum at least two times using his dick and his fingers.

After your second high you were so exhausted that you were breathing heavily and Jaehyun is helping you to calm down while kissing your boobs and sucking them playfully. Even your cute moments like this was caught on camera and Jaehyun was more than happy about it.

“You okay? Want to cum for the third time?” He reached for your phone, stop the recording and went back in between your legs again and kiss you wherever he wants. You didn’t answer him ‘yes’ because to be completely honest you were still exhausted and he understood you well. For a good quiet minutes he was just staring at you, flashing his dimples, raking his fluffy hair and biting his lips at the same time. The silence felt good and not the usual awkward silence you have.

“The next live that we will be doing is going to be our last. And our dorm rent will be settled in no time” he started.

“And?”

“I’ll miss you”

Ouch. You wish he kept the quietness and peace instead. Just as you thought that life will now let you be with Jaehyun peacefully, here comes the heartbreak again. Truth is Jaehyun is still scared and very much afraid to hurt you that’s why he just wanted to fix himself before he could date you officially. He didn’t want to pursue his feeling with you just because you did porn together and fucked live, no you deserve better than that.

He loves you. So much, but he’s not ready yet.

You wanted to shout at him and asked him what else does he want from you? He is so good at making you feel like you’re always not enough for him and that makes your mind go crazy. He did it again. He left you hanging again when you’ve completely fallen in love with him. Turns out he’s not willing and ready to catch you. But as usual, you do what you do best. Shrugged it off and continue to live like it’s not bothering you.  

The live fucking and porn making stopped for a while because you and Jaehyun have final exams. And the awkwardness between you and Jaehyun came back in no time, nonetheless, it was a good week to have a breather and to let yourself think straight. But still, you can’t help but think about everything and miss Jaehyun.

“Are you on your way home?” Johnny asks Jaehyun through the phone.

“Yeah, just buying us dinner”  

“Good. Y/n is on her period”

“Am I suppose to be happy because I didn’t get her pregnant?” He chuckled proudly and having no clue what Johnny was saying.

“Take care of her she has period cramps dumb ass!“

“Oh right- right… sorry. Okay, yeah”

When Jaehyun arrived with the stuff that Johnny told him to buy for you and the dinner Jaehyun bought you, you were twisting in hurt inside your room grunting and very vocal about the pain while you hug the hot compress Johnny left you when Jaehyun entered your room.

“Ah- fuck it hurts” you groan and curl yourself, pressing that hot compress more on your lower abdomen and endure your period cramps. Jaehyun is just so sweet to stay beside you and rub your back while he watches you suffer.

“I want to help. Do you need anything other than that hot compress?” He was concerned and willing to make you feel better.

“Nothing I’m fine. You’re so sweet” you said in a little irritated tone but you’re not actually irritated with him. He scrolls through his phone with one hand, while the other is rubbing and caressing your back to give you comfort.

“Google says sex is good when-“

“I’m not having period sex with you, Jaehyun” but you do want him to touch you. Stupid hormones. Stupid period. It just makes you crave for him even more, desperate for even a kiss, or even just with his body closer to you.

“Are you horny?” He asks without shame, smiling at you and hoping that you say yes.

“I am” you admitted

“Just say yes, I got you” he was like seducing you, luring you to sin with him tonight while you bleed. And you like it.

“Okay” you answered softly. Shy but he knew you’re not that type anymore.

Jaehyun scoop over and went under the covers with you. Giving you that warmth that you need, making your body warm and comfortable, and basically giving everything you want. He intertwines his fingers with you, kissed your knuckles, and then your lips. Softly. Slowly. It’s every girl’s dream kiss. And just like his kiss, his hand creeps under the covers, all the way down until he reaches your thighs and spread one leg to gain access to your hole.

“W-wait. Let me just remove the tampon” shyly you inform him and discarded it quickly under the covers and throw it into the trash bin. Going back to the comfort that Jaeyun is giving you, his hand went back in between your legs and tease your clothed slit the moment you’re back under the covers. Smiling so handsomely and innocently while he lies beside you like he’s not doing something lustful under the covers.

“Do you think this will work-“ and just before you finish your question, Jaehyun ran a finger on your very wet slit which turned him on immediately. He flicked his finger, drawing small circles in your nub and listening to you moan while your grip on the sheets tightens and try your best not to close your legs.

“Do you like this?” his lips were very close to your neck and the way he talks to you was so sultry that even his words can make you moan.

“Mhmm. F-fuck Jae, my clit is sensitive” but your legs say others wise because you spread them even more under the covers and your hips voluntarily move to meet his fingers. When he felt your legs shake and hear your moans become higher than usual, he figured you were close, went on top of you and started to hump your thigh while his hand is inside your now ruined panties reaching deep in your hole making you feel good and over sensitive. Jaehyun grunted so loud and moaned deliciously beside your ear, moving his hips like how he fucks you and you feel his hard cock poke your thigh from the inside of his pants. Soon, Jaehyun came inside his pants and did not care about being embarrassed.

While you were coming down from your high, the man on top of you kept kissing you like you’re all that matters to him. Even though you well know that you’re just fooling yourself.

The night ended with Jaehyun sleeping beside you and further taking care of you after you both cleanup. But you woke up the next day without him beside you and thankfully, Johnny came out of nowhere to rescue you from your ugly thoughts. He came into your room with a cup of coffee and some bread for you, smiling like he has no problems in life and to be honest, you love how he’s always like this.

Since both of you don’t have classes today, you went to the groceries with Johnny and had a nice dinner at a fast food he loves. It felt great. It felt great to be with a guy who’s not Jaehyun. The man always keeps you on your toes and you feel like your head is always in the clouds whenever you’re with him but Johnny, he keeps you grounded.

“Shoot. The landlord is really testing me- he wants the money tonight or else they have to kick us out tomorrow. Fuck!” He says typing aggressively on his phone, telling Jaehyun immediately.

“Were not due until next week why are they doing this to us. We have no choice but to go live then” you said calmly, unbothered as much as possible because you just want this to be over now and move on from Jaehyun.

“You can't. You have your period and Jaehyun is not available- fuck why is he not picking up”

“There are other ways to make a guy cum Johnny. I’m sure you know that” you chuckle and shook your head in disbelief.

“Still, Jaehyun is not answering” he gave up and put down his phone.

“Well you’re available. I just want this to be over Johnny” clearly he didn’t expect you to suggest such a thing. You continue to eat your food in silence and so is the man in front of you. Obviously, he was bothered with what you suggested but it appears that he has no choice. You watch him fidget on his phone, maybe he’s not yet done contacting Jaehyun and still hoping that his friend will end up last minute but...

“Okay” he let a sigh of relief, “I texted Jaehyun that well do it but we're not going to uhm- uh, fuck. Blow job then? No more, no less? A bit of kissing maybe. Tell me what do you want? I’ll be able to do this comfortably if I know that you like what I’m doing to you”

“Hmm. Okay, let’s start by... be gentle with me. You’re a big guy and you know... what I mean”

“I may be big physically but I’m warm on the inside, being gentle is not a problem” he smiles and pour you a glass of water before he asks for the bill. “What else?” he added.

“Touch me, don’t hesitate. If you feel like my jaw needs rest then you can tell me to stop” he nods and told you he will surely not forget about that.

The conversation went on until you reached home and get ready for the live. Unlike Jaehyun who made you feel so nervous the day you had your first live with him, Johnny makes you feel calm and comfortable the whole time.

Now that you’re in front of Johnny, half naked with only your panties and your mask on, everything happened perfectly. It wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t awkward too, and quite frankly you had fun with Johnny. Even though the audience noticed that you’re not with Jaehyun right now, they can’t help but love Johnny’s hot body too and the way he fuck your face gently in front of the camera. Hands cupping both sides of your face as he thrust his long, hard and veiny cock in your mouth. Smiling through the pleasure whenever you purposely swirl your tongue and bob your head aggressively.

After the cum-filled and messy live with Johnny, you wired the money to your landlord immediately and secure the rent for good until the three of you graduates. Now you and Johnny can breathe normally after cleaning up and enjoy the warmth of your bed. “Do you like Jaehyun?” He blurted out, trying not to look at your exposed boobs but you roll your body and face the ceiling and so his efforts went to waste.

“Yeah but I don’t think he likes me enough. Y-you know what I mean” he shook his head to tell you he has no idea about Jaehyun’s intentions with you.

“Just have patience with him if you like him, after all, you’re the only girl that can do this to him”

“Do what?” you ask with eagerness.

“Did you really think that I won't notice you two fucking behind my back?” You laughed at what he said and laughed your shyness away, “but it’s alright. I figured maybe you like each other so I didn’t dare stop you two”

The giggling and laughing with Johnny under the soft light of your lampshade continued until you passed out and Johnny was the one who helped you get dressed. And on the same night, Jaehyun heard and saw you and Johnny laugh over a half closed door. Seeing your bodies close to each other made his blood boil and became jealous in no time. That’s why on the next day, Jaehyun was expressing his anger while you three are gathered in the kitchen. He’s not saying a word, but he kept on closing the cabinets a little too rough while he prepares his meal. Then it hit you, he’s jealous.

You confronted him and went to his room, closed and locked the door so Johnny won't hear the unpleasant conversation you’re about to have with Jaehyun. “Don’t be angry with Johnny, I’m the one who suggested it-“

“Like that’s going to make me feel better Y/n. Get out, you’re wasting your time” he turned his back and proceeds to fix his bed.

“It’s not like we cheated Jae. Were not together” you blurted as calm as possible. Little did you know that you just triggered something in him that makes him want to punch a wall and pour his anger out but he can’t. At least not in front of you. So instead, he shouted at you. So loud that you got scared for a second there.

“You know, I’m always afraid to hurt you but you! You don’t care if you hurt me!”

“Don’t act as if you love me, Jae. You never did. You never even tried!” You shouted back and walked away towards his door, banging it and walked straight to your room with tears in your eyes.

The fight was short but unforgettable.

Later that day, Jaehyun got worried when you didn’t eat lunch and dinner and your door was still locked and he can hear you crying from the other side. He kept on knocking at your door until you got annoyed and unlocked it but you covered yourself with your thick sheets.

“Come on why are you crying? Don’t cry over a stupid guy like me you don’t deserve it. I’m sorry” you feel his embrace and rub your back so you know that he’s sincere. And finally, you removed the sheets but still, you don’t want to look him in the eye.

You have a lot of questions for Jaehyun, and you think now is the perfect time to cry it all out and let him know what he’s doing to you. Why he didn’t text you back the night after you fuck for the first time, why he never ask you out when he promised he would, why he’s jealous all of a sudden.

FLASHBACK (In the middle of junior year)

It was very late already and some crazy person is ringing your doorbell nonstop. This couldn’t be Jaehyun or Johnny obviously they don’t need to ring the doorbell because they live here and they know the code. That’s why you were surprised that Jaehyun is the one ringing it and turns out he is batshit drunk and can’t even remember the code. “Where is Johnny when you need him” you murmur, “Jae, help yourself too. I can’t carry you all the way up to the fourth floor,” you said sternly to the handsome guy clinging on to you, breath smells like alcohol, eyes lidded but can still appreciate your beautiful face.

When you finally carried him successfully back to your place, without any hesitation he puked on your sleepwear and smiled so sweetly at you like he did nothing wrong. You wanted to slap him and wake him from his drunken state but Jaehyun was quick with his hands and unbutton your sleepwear and used it to wipe the small amount of puke on the floor.

You cover yourself with your arms and walked straight to your room and get a clean shirt before you take care of Jaehyun. He was murmuring “sorry” as he sees you walk away from him and weakly sit on the floor with dirty clothes and hope that you will come back to him.

When he sees you all dressed up again with a damped cloth on your hand, he smiled and spread his arms like he’s about to give you a hug. “Why are you acting cute- here hold this while I remove your socks” you hand him the damped cloth and proceed to remove his dirty socks and throw it with your dirty sleepwear. He looks at you lovingly as you wipe his face with the utmost care, looking at your lips and thinking about kissing it but no. He may be drunk but he won’t do that to you.

“Go on a date with me,” he says while you continue to wipe his face and help him take off his hoodie. You giggle and boops his nose before you stand and help him to get on his feet, “try asking me again when you’re sober” you opened his room door and told him to don’t forget to change his pants and greet him good night.

But after a few minutes, you’re all tucked in bed and half asleep already when you feel a pair of arms cage you. You can still smell his breath and figured maybe Jaehyun is clingy like this whenever he’s really drunk, which rarely happens.

“It's so sweet, knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other, sweet. Knowing that I love you, and running my fingers through your hair. It's so sweet” he sings a few lines from Sweet by Cigarettes After Sex and smells your hair until his breath tickles your nape.

Sweet. He’s not only clingy while he’s drunk, but he’s sweet too. “I think I like you more when you’re rarely this drunk” you turn your body and faced him. Seeing Jaehyun with sleepy eyes, lips curved in a weak smile, but arms conscious enough to keep you near him.

“Then I’ll get drunk every day if that makes you love me”

But on the next day, he just thanked you for taking care of him and forgot about the date. And on the next few days and following weeks, you hear him fuck different girls and have one night stands every now and then.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME SENIOR YEAR

“I keep on hurting you I’m sorry. Don’t cry, please. I hate that I’m hurting you. This is the reason why I can’t pursue my feelings for you. I’m a mess and I’m not ready”

And just as you thought that this day couldn’t get any worse. It just did. You look at Jaehyun as he tells you the truth and admits his true feelings with you. How he fell in love with you but chose not to pursue his feelings because he’s not ready and you deserve better. And from there you stopped listening to him and told him to leave you alone. Jaehyun was speechless and hopeless, he wanted to explain and express his long bottled feelings for you but you don’t want to.

All this time you thought that it’s you who’s lacking that’s why he can’t even try and ask you out. But now that you know the truth and he would rather make you feel small than swallow his pride and try to make things work with you, well you just can’t be around him anymore.

Graduation is approaching near and your dorm has been quiet ever since you finished paying the rent and Jaehyun got mad because of what you and Johnny did. You look at the quiet place while you eat your instant noodle and reminisce the good days you spent with the two giants who made your college years unforgettable and happy. Actually, they even made your life easier.

Days become even more lonely now that Jaehyun and Johnny became busy with their last requirements and you’ve been alone for a few days now. You wake up without the two boys, go to class or run some errands, they go home but you’re not home, and by the time you arrive home they have shifts to the radio station again.

Today is your birthday and you spend it with some of your classmates which are all sweet and you treat them to dinner. Johnny left a bouquet of flowers on your bed before he left for work, together with a sweet happy birthday card. And Jaehyun… well, let’s just say that maybe he forgot about it because being a graduating student makes you busy.

While you were having a nice dream of Jaehyun singing a happy birthday song to you with a small cupcake in his hand, in reality, he woke you up by patting your head and a kiss on your forehead, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and kissing your face until you’re awake and what’s happening right now is finally registering in your mind. You wrapped your arms around him and decided to forgive him for being stupid and accept his apology. “Is this for me?” you point at the chocolate cake on the bedside drawer a blew the candle, making your room dark and only the soft light from your window lights up your room.

“What did you wish for” he came closer to you and rests his forehead on yours. Oh you missed his presence, but all you feel right now is the heartbreak and remember what happened a few weeks ago.

“You, Jaehyun” you whisper and closed your eyes, not caring if there are tears in your eyes. You’re not afraid to show him that you ache for him.

“I told you, I can’t-“ you didn’t want to hurt yourself further and listen to those hurtful words so you kissed him and pulled him on top of you.

Everything happened so fast and naturally. You removed your shorts, he was quick to spread your legs and free his hardening cock. Not even bothering to reach for a condom, he fucked you in the dark and whispered “I’m sorry” over and over again that it hurts your ear and your heart so you put your thumb in his mouth and let him suck it good while his thrust was slowly picking up the pace and you hear skin slapping surrounds your room

“Jaehyun-“ you moan his name when you felt that familiar feeling of being on edge but you’re not yet ready to let go. You’re not yet ready to let him go. So you tried with all your might to clench and stop yourself from cumming but what you’re doing to Jaehyun just makes him want to fuck you more.

And so he did.

He covered your mouth not because he didn’t want to let Johnny know that you’re fucking but because he never wants to hear your beautiful moans again. He closed his eyes so he could no longer see your face and dream about you underneath him, and with that, he continues to thrust so harshly that it’s hurting you so good and your grip on his shoulders will surely leave a mark.

Soon you failed and cum before Jaehyun could. You exchanged sharp exhales, gasps, and quiet grunts before he lies beside you and kiss you deeply the whole night. One last time.  

As expected, you woke up alone in your bed with a sore body. You stretched for a few minutes before you got out of bed and head outside to have breakfast. At first, you thought that you will be alone again today but turns out Johnny is free.

“Belated Happy birthday. Did you like the flowers I got you?” he greets you good morning and gave you a bear hug.

“I did. I put it in a vase, it’s in my room. Thank you” now that Johnny is here and you’re not alone eating breakfast, you can’t help but wish for Jaehyun to be here.

“Jaehyun is uhm… working. I can take you out today, let’s have dinner and celebrate your birthday again. What do you say?” he offers excitedly and even showed you a great restaurant from his phone.

When the evening comes and you and Johnny should be out by now but you were having a hard time to chose what to wear, Jaehyun arrived out of nowhere with a girl on his shoulders. Someone not familiar and they’re holding hands.

“I think your friends are going out on a date aren’t they babe?” the girl asks Jaehyun, like she's tying to get his attention but Jaehyun’s eyes are glued on you. Eyes that are very much sorry because he didn’t mean for you to see his new girlfriend after your birthday. So this is why Johnny was rushing you tonight. He didn’t want you to see Jaehyun with his new girlfriend because he knew it will hurt you greatly.

“Y/n-“ Jaehyun called you but you didn’t bother looking back and told Johnny that you’re ready now… even though your earrings don't match with your dress. If he can try and be in a relationship with someone else then what does that make you? Why can’t he try for you?

The night went on, carrying the lie that you’re okay but to be honest, you don’t want to go back to that fucking dorm. Good thing, Johnny was trying so hard to cheer you up and make you forget about what happened. Which is working and for that you’re thankful.

On the same night, you swore to yourself that you will never let Jaehyun into your life again and make you feel small. You will never throw yourself to him again, or even spare a glance and waste your time with the one and only guy whom you allowed to break your heart over and over again. But not anymore.

Jaehyun was nothing but sweet to you and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Five years later

When you came home from work, you caught your boyfriend cooking dinner with a glass of cold wine beside him. You greet him, “hey” and kissed him on the cheek before you wrap your arms around his strong built body.

“Tired? Hows work? I have big news” he says while stirring something from the pan. You told him he could tell the big news first because he looks excited, and so he did. With big smiles and overflowing excitement, he said that “Jaehyun is going to get married and I’m his best man!” you almost let out a laugh but you stopped yourself.

“Mhmm. Guess who’s taking care of the wedding....” you teased him. But just as you burst your boyfriend’s bubble, his reaction was quite unexpected.

“N-no, don’t tell me it’s you” he suddenly stopped cooking, he wasn’t mad. Just shocked at the moment and because of the big news.

“Johnny- Don’t tell me you’re being jealous right now...” you tease him further, “he’s like a college fling baby, and you’re the real deal!” you kiss him on the lips but he’s still sulking and went back to cooking.

“We both know it’s not just a fling” he whines.

“He’s getting married and we’re literally inseparable. What are you so jealous of? You know I saw Jaehyun looked at his fiancé and guess what,”

“What?” he turns off the stove and prepared two plates for dinner which you helped him do.

“He never looked at me that way, but you did” you see a shy smile on his face now and poke his cheek but he's quick to catch your hand and pull you into a hug. The kind of hug only Johnny can provide.

“Sorry, that was so childish of me”

“It’s okay. Dinner looks good, is this a new recipe?”

Soon after dinner, Johnny expresses his apology in bed in many ways he can, making you feel good and treating you right as always until it became too exhausting because you don’t think you could cum anymore after having your fourth…or fifth? To be honest you’re not sure anymore.

But even though you’re tired and exhausted, you still can’t help but reminisce. Throughout the years of forgetting Jaehyun, Johnny has always been patient with you and waited for you to heal from Jaehyun. Johnny brought you to the movies and went out with you while Jaehyun only promised. It's like Jaehyun kept promising you things but Johnny is the one keeping them.

“I thought you’re exhausted?” He kissed your shoulder to bring you back to Earth when he saw you spacing out. “Stop thinking. I’ll marry you too, you know that right?” oh you know that all too well, so you nod and kissed him. Whispered ‘i love yous’ over and over again, and thanked him for being the one for you. It was never easy for both of you, but still, you yearn for each other. Sometimes, love will point us to the wrong person so we could find the right person to us. Yes, Jaehyun was sweet, but Johnny is not only sweet in fact he showed his love to you since day 1.

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[arkus-rhapsode]

My Thoughts on FE3H DLC Cindered Shadow’s Story

You are reading that right people, I just binged the new FE DLC side story for six hours straight. Now I want to preface this with one thing, this is my thoughts on the side story ITSELF. I haven’t seen any of the Ashen Wolves individual supports. This will not be a character study.

This will simply be my thoughts on the side story in and of itself. Now considering this just came out 6 hours ago I can not stress this enough SPOILERS!

With all that out of the way, let me tell you what I thought of Cindred Shadows...

This was FILLER. Like no joke, any person who has watched a long running anime produced by studio Perriot could telegraph this story.

Now let me tell you, just because something is filler doesn’t automatically makes it bad. This story very clearly serves the introduction to the newest members of Garreg Mach. But the plot is very very paint by numbers. From addition to lore that introduces Mcguffin as strong as the already established items.Four really strong people we never heard of who were just lying in wait. A villain who they try to portray as morally grey, but in the end is just a giant monster. (Literally)

Okay, let me back up and give you my negatives first and then positives.

Now due to its nature, I’m not going to rag on things like hyper compression of story telling. By its nature the plot needs to move fast. I’m not gonna say “Well maybe if they built up this characteristic longer etc..”

But I will say that the things that felt like dead weight was the other house members. The Ashen Wolves on their own are all cool characters. Very fun, with my personal favorite being Constance. But then you have the lords who for the first time are all together and they really say nothing of value. The one lord convo I thought was really good was when Dimitri is asking Edel about her hair color shift.

In fact, a waste of supporting characters is pretty much the biggest problem with this side story. Obviously the Wolves take front and center, but you have the central plot involving someone connected to Jeralt, and Byleth’s mother, Sitri.

Not once does Jeralt appear. Edel barely interacts with Constance after she claims she’ll prove house nueville and herself to the Empire is almost completely dropped. And we have another Holst connection. A connection for a guy who who we still don’t know what he looks like. And Sothis? Nowhere to be found.

With how focused on the Wolves it was, I wonder if it be better to scrap the supporting cast, and just have the adventure with Byleth, Jeralt, and the Wolves. That would’ve probably resulted in a lot lower difficulty curve, but it would help the story stay self contained.

Im also gonna say I wasn’t a big fan of the Cardinal (I can’t remember his name). As I said, he was so obviously the villain and what his evil plan was, that it genuinely hurt for me. Like I was shaking being like “I already know how this will go, he faked his own kidnapping and its a trap! He wants to use the power of raising the dead on Sitri!” and “How are none of you piecing this together till its right in front of you?” And then there’s his motivation of loving Sitri so much he wants her back.

Which bites because again, how little you actually get to know him. So when he turns out to be bad its just so meh. I will say that part I did appreciate was he wasn’t jealous or anger at Sitri for choosing Jeralt. He wasn’t like “I’m gonna bring her back and then she’ll love me!” No, he’s doing it because he misses her and wanted her to be happy. (I wish Jeralt could’ve contributed something. Or even Alois who is running around.)

I’m not upset with the fact that the story is predicable. And I’m of the mind that just because you can predict a story, doesn’t make it bad so long as getting to that endpoint was really good.  And it wasn’t.

I almost feel like this story would’ve been better with no “Human villain.” Like, its just some thieves at first that cause Byleth to explore, then meets the Wolves, and that makes them wanna go exploring till they make it to the Chalice where there’s some deformed Sothis Clone that could look like Hagemon Husk Edelgard or something.

Now with all that said, the thing I really have to praise is the gameplay. Seriously, its about 7 chapters and each map really feels like a challenge. There’s a lot more conditions and bells and whistles and you really feel smart when you figure it all out.

It kinda reminds of FE Conquest, but a bit more forgiving.

Another positive is the Ashen Wolves themselves. As I said, they’re good characters. I’m excited to explore them in the main series game, but that’ll have to wait as of now.

I do think the Abyss itself is a neat concept. Particularly it being a haven for people like Almyrans and Dagdans that are refugees. It makes wonder if Cyril knew about the Abyss.

I like the idea that Rhea is excising her power putting all the “desirable undesirables” under her eye. It really does make her come off as far more manipulative and clever than she already was.

And Sitri herself. I’m glad we finally get to see Byleth’s mom. The small bit talking about her body and where Rhea locked it up was possibly the best addition to the main story. Though its times like these I wish Byleth could talk and have a personality.

In conclusion, the DLC side story is something where the gameplay outshines the story. If you’re an FE fan who wants a challenge, you’ll like this side story. If you only care about the plot then its really up to how you feel on predictable storylines.

For me personally, I’m a bit sad about the story, as I was hoping to fill in some narrative issues with 3H. But there is still the supports which could do something. So If I had to give it a grade, I’d say 5/10

[descendantofthesparrow]

Daughter of the Honorable Thief - Harry Hook x reader - p8- park p2

(note, I have never been to Knotts soak city, so im bullshitting this)

Harry Hook x Daughter of Robin Hood!Reader

 key

 h/c- hair color

 e/c- eye color

 h/l- hair length

 s/c- skin color

 y/n- your name

 clothing reference:

harry

y/n

 erza

uma

---(y/n) POV---

Hell yeah! Water park day!! And a good thing too, it was 95 degrees out today. Ezra and I exited our rooms wearing shorts and sheer tops over our suits, chatting as we made our way to the lobby, bags light with only sunscreen, goggles, and wallets. The souvenir cups hanging off them. Harriet padded up behind you, having a tight swim top on and her messy black hair in a tight braid off her shoulder, her aviators covering her eyes.

Uma was just behind her, having roomed with her, wearing a teal swimsuit and gold sandals.

“Mornin” she mumbled, falling into step with you and erza, you ‘sup’ed’ back and continued on, letting uma and erza talk, you glanced at uma, noticing her clutching onto the teal seahorse erza won her yesterday. Erza winked at you, subtly pointing to the animal.

You rolled your eyes, entering the elevator and waiting for the others to board before pressing the button for the lobby and descending.

You found Harry and Gil immediately, who were talking near the entrance and seemed to be waiting for the four of you.

“yo!” you called, waving to them, harry perked up, smiling and nodding “ey, wha’ took yeh all so long?”

Uma rolled her eyes, striding up to harry and leaning into his side “sorry, you know how my hair is Harry”

“aye, just teasing”

You smiled, you loved how close the two were. Soak city was a bit of a walk from the hotel, so you all started to walk over. Harry complaining about the heat the entire time.

As soon as you entered, Gil's eyes sparkled at the multi-side by side slides, called the Bonzai falls, where it was obviously a racing game between six people, you all had keys for lockers that day, so you stashed away what you wouldn’t need at the moment and made your way to the ride's line.

Minutes later you all were laid down on a matt, it was Harriet, Erza, Uma, you, Harry, and Gil. The guy manning the ride called go and you all pushed off, racing down the bottom, you cackled as the water from Uma and Harry splashed in your face, and as yours splashed them.

Uma ended up winning the race, giggling as she placed the matt in the collecting spot and looked around for another ride, seeing on that could host up to six people, grabbing erza and Harry's arms and dragged them to it.

Uma seemed to really like the water park already.

you all yelped and screeched as the large tube-like thing tossed your around, water soaking everyone.

You shook your head around, getting the excess water out of your hair.

You saw a racing waterslide and pointed to it, exclaiming a race with erza. She gave a sharp grin and said: “you're on!”

You dashed over, a lifeguard yelling for you too slow down, as you pass a large pool, harry got an idea, he leaned down, one arm going under your legs and the other under your torso, you yelped, flailing slightly.

“harry what the-AH!’ and he tossed you into the pool, sputtering you resurfaced and glared at the laughing teen, then erza and Harriet grinned and pushed him in, making you cackle.

“Why thank you~”

Erza grinned as she grabbed your hands, helping you out of the pool. “I got you hood”

“not funny yeh two” harry grumbled as he lifted himself from the pool, shaking his head to rid his hair of the water.

“Are you kidding meh” Harriet grinned “that was hilarious!”

Uma snickered as she looked at Harry, water dripping off him heavily “you look like a drowned rat”

Harry made a pouty face at her, crossing his arms, obviously offended “Acca-Scuse meh~? I am the picture of beauty and grace how dare you!”

You cackled patting his arm “don’t worry Harry, you’re a very handsome drowned rat.”

Harry huffed, nodding, but still pouting “at least someone sees my perfection”

“Anyway!” erza interrupted, “hood you promised a race, let's go!”

You snickered, following your friend to the racing tubes. Climbing the tall stairs you looked behind you to see harry dramatically flailing onto gil, demanding to be carried.

“I can see a light”

“you're fine harry”

“mom? Is tha’ you?” “oh my god gil just pick him up to make him shut up”

“yeee”

Harry laid limp in gil’s arms, grinning as he let his head hang upsidedown. You gave a breathy laugh as you shook your head and continued up the stairs, soon reaching the top.

Harriet was staring at her brother with a bored look as gil set him down, the worker was giggling her head off, “my girlfriend does the same thing with her brother”

Harriet smirked, “dramatic siblings am I right?”

The worker nodded still giggling, letting you and erza pass and sit down in front of the water tubes

You waiting for the light to turn green, seeing erza smirking in your peripherals. One two three, GREEN! pushing forward, you speed down the dark tunnel, screaming laughter echoed as the water rushed around you.

You gasped as the darkness stopped and you landed in a pool, hearing another splash as you started to breach.

“HAHA! I WIN!” “NO WAY HOOD! YOU CHEATED SOMEHOW!”

“NUH UH, YOU KNOW I DON’T CHEAT!”

“(y/n) won!” uma called from the tower, grinning down at both of you.

“HA!” you screamed, poking erzas nose.

She snarled playfully, dunking your head under.

=

Uma hummed happily as she munched on a churro, bought by erza, who staring at the dark-skinned girl with a dreamy look, till you elbowed her.

“kinda lookin creepy scarlet”

“silence hood, im appreciating art.”

“Alright, appreciate art while you buy me food”

“fuckin-fine”

Standing, erza walked off, grumbling under her breath about how you were ruining her chances with the sea goddess.

Rolling your eyes you turned to uma, who raised her brow at you.

“real talk, if erza asked, would you go on a date with her?”

Uma sputtered on her churro, hitting her chest as she cleared her airways.

“um-wha-where did this come from?!”

You shrugged “just a feeling but really, would you?”

“um well” uma stuttered, her cheeks darkening “i-I think, yes? Shes-shes really pretty, and she's nice and, and spunky, and…fuck shes my type, shit, holy fuck”

You grinned, bumping her shoulder “sooo, is that a yes~” uma groaned, wrapping her arm around you and burying her face in your shoulder “fuck, yes I would go on a date with her”

“yay! Okay, so next Friday at that really good pizza place sound good?”

Uma jumped up, staring at you “hold up wh-“

You stood, grinning as erza came trotting back up, a grumpy look on her face. “perfect, maybe now erza can stop whimpering about you like a kicked puppy!”

“wait wha-!?”

“bye~”

“(y/n) wait staap!!”

=

“guess who got you a date~” erza blinked at you as you skipped up, taking the chicken fingers and fries she had gotten you.

“what?” “you and uma, Romanos pizzeria next Friday, at 5”

“WHAT?!” erza screamed, grabbing onto your shoulders and shaking you “AND SHE-YOU-WHAT?” “Okay, 1. Let go of me, 2. I asked uma if she would go on a date with you if you asked and she said yes so next Friday at 5!”

Erzas jaw dropped as you turned and walked away from her, happily munching on your food.

“thank me later~”

Erza stared as you plopped next to harry, sharing your food with him.

Glancing to uma, she blushed as she made eyes with the teal haired teen. They both hurried to look away, god, erza was so doomed.

=

harry stared as his sister and gil pushed him toward a drop slide, was he shaking? he was shaking. as he glanced at his hands, which were trembling in fear.

“no nope nah no no nada gonna happen”

Harriet groaned, walking in front of him and grabbing his hands “come on! it'll be fun!”

“dropping straight down as im plummeting like 50ft down? nah im good”

harry tried to escape, but gill lifted him over his shoulder.

“come on! its the last one and you promised dude!”

“well dude” Harry called back, “I take it back, im not going!”

Harry locked eyes with you, and you gave a sympathetic smile, shrugging.

“(y/n), my love, beauty, my savior, help me”

you laughed “im sorry harry, but I don't think I can help you here”

Harry groaned, holding his arms out to you “please! Save me!”

you laughed once more, reaching out and intertwining your hand with his, grinning comfortingly “you'll be fine harry, they so safety checks almost every day, and positive that no one has died”

harry sniffed, still not convinced, but as you held onto his hand, he felt better.

“do you want me to hold your hand?”

Harry paused, before giving a shy nod.

You held in a laugh, as gil set harry down and you held tightly onto his hand.

You watched as uma and Harriet entered the tubes, grinning nervously as they waited, then SHOOM they disappeared, harry jumping as they did, gripping your hand tightly.

“uh lass, do I-“

“you promised dude” gil called as he entered alongside erza

“les do dis!” erza cackled, crossing her arms and legs.

“three two one, launch!”

You heard erza and gil scream from the adrenaline as they exited the tubes, yelling positives for harry.

“harry im the biggest scaredy-cat when it comes to this stuff, you can do it!”

“come on dude you can do it!”

As the worker guided you into the launch tubes, harry backtracked, his face pale as he turned to you

“I don’t wanna do it!”

“it's okay, you're fine” you cooed, letting him grip your hand once more, not caring for how tight it was becoming. Harry shook his head

“i-I don’t, I don’t!”

Harry begun to hyperventilate, you pulled him close, letting his arms wrap tightly around you.

“you can, you got this harry its not gonna be that bad, if its any consolation, im terrified”

Harry sniffed, releasing you, breaths even, shaking his arms and head to sike himself up “uh. Yeah, yeah I got this, I got this”

You smiled, patting his arm, waiting for him to completely be closed in before stepping into yours.

A heartbeat startled you as you entered the pod, “Jeez that scared me” leaning on the slide part, you crossed your arms and legs, preparing to drop.

“prepare to launch in three, two one!”

Down!

You screamed as you went, holy fuck this was amazingly terrifying!

As you emerged you heard gil laugh, congratulating harry.

“you did it! You conquered your fear!”

You grinned, standing and making your way over, seeing uma and gil with their arms wrapping around harry as he laughed his nerves off.

“yeah, and im never doing that again!”

You cackled as you rejoined the group, leaning into erza as you did.

“That was fun, but I agree with Harry, one and done!”

Harry gave a soft smile as you arrived.

“Thank yeh for helping meh (y/n), really”

“I got chu, I won't let my friend just sit in their fear.”

Harriet bumped your shoulder.

“well, im pooped, can we go chill at the hotel now?”

You saw uma and erza sag in relief “yes!” erza cried, slumping into you “im so exhausted!”

“Alright alright” you snickered “let's get our stuff and go”

Uma dived for her sea horse, holding it tightly to her chest as you unlocked the locker with your stuff in it. Erza blushing as she did so.

You gave a pointed look to erza, and she groaned and nodded “yeah yeah”

You hummed, giving a cheeky smile.

Looking behind you as you exited, you saw Harriet and harry pull out their phones and the pokemon go music play from them.

“shit there's a Pikachu”

“yeah yeah, Meowth right there”

You snorted, dorks.

=

Entering your room, you flopped on your bed, letting erza take the first shower. You felt sleep drift over you as you laid there, and you let your body fall to its call.

The shower could wait in the morning.

--end of part 8 (god sorry that took so long!)--

Comment or message me for part 9

[zalieza]

So my flight change cooldown is coming up, and I’ve been playing FR for a few months now. Ideally I want a flight that does frequent to semi-frequent dom, cool eyes, nice aesthetic, and cool lore. Unfortunately none of the flights have all that to my tastes.  If anyone has some suggestions, I’m open to them. But I’m putting my reasons for all of them below.

Im kinda ambivalent about community size? On one hand a small community tends not to be very active. On the other a large community can have a lot of young kids who are in their “LOL SO RANDOM” phase. Can’t win there really

Ice Flight (am here now)

Awesome aesthetic, very scenic

Ok lore. Its cool (geddit?) but its not entirely to my taste. Eldritch horrors arent really my style

Does not dom frequently

Holy shit I hate the eyes so much. At first I kinda liked them? Its mostly inoffensive white or very pale blue. But my god... they can look super creepy on certain dragons. Do not want. Plus theyre boring. The primal is cool but thats about it

Small community

Water Flight (started here)

Ok aesthetic. Im really into beaches and ocean and such, but I feel like the banner for water is extremely outdated and boring looking. Its not the worst but it could really use an upgrade I think

Meh lore. An oracle is cool. An entire society of oracles is less so. I can kinda dig pirate lore but its just... not really evident. Idunno. The whole missing dad deal is interesting but not that interesting.

Also doesnt dom frequently but since theyre small community they tend to win if they bother

Eyes are cool. Bit dark for me but the primal is awesome and they dont tend to bother me. Its overall just there.

Another small community. Very inactive on site

Earth Flight

Boring aesthetic. Im sorry Earth peeps, but its just not that appealing to look at

Cool lore. Honestly some of the most varied lore on the site. You can take it in pretty much any direction you want and theyre all valid as hell.

The dom flight. Cant get any dom-ier

Eyes are ok. Some of them are awesome, the common is kinda blegh. Primal is kinda lackluster but the other eye varieties make up for it.

Small but older community. Seems chill

Fire Flight

Unappealing aesthetic. Volcanoes have a ton of variety but Fire’s stuff is all similar and dark looking.

Boring lore. They’re smiths. And theres a slight rebellion. Uh... thats all folks?

Doesnt dom frequently. Like Water I bet they could be great at it if they wanted to.

Awesome eyes. Like some of the coolest in the game. Don’t really match with much but still cool

Another tiny community

Wind Flight

Very nice aesthetic. A smidge plain going off just the header but its bright and airy (puns).

Lore is fun. Not terribly exciting but not boring either. I imagine most of Wind to be very peaceful

Doesnt dom frequently, in fact basically negative dom

Another group of awesome eyes. Theyre a bit same-y but thats ok. The color is pleasant. The primal is meh

Large community, feels like most everyone is in Wind

Shadow Flight

Another very nice aesthetic. Honestly seems cool and beautiful.

Lore at first glance seems boring. However upon rethinking, its basically completely open ended. That leaves a lot of room for interpretation and that could be fun.

Another flight that doesnt dom frequently

Eyes are ok. Not a huge fan of the common purple but the rest are amazing. Except the primal which freaks me out

LARGE community. But also seems like the youngest community?

Lightning Flight

Ok aesthetic. Its really dark but not in a great way? Like who doesn’t like thunderstorms in a messa but its not the most appealing look that Lightning has going on

Lore at first glance seems awesome. But its really backed into a corner in some ways. Not my favorite at all

Man lots of flights not into dom what is this

The best eyes in the game. Theyre all fantastic

Medium community?

Light Flight

Nice aesthetic. Bright, sunny, greek/roman inspired architecture mixed with a mysterious dark blemish? Sign me up

Lore is kinda boring. Like you can take it in lots of directions and it holds potential for some edgy shit. But its nothing fantastic

Dom regularly. Nothing on Earth but the next best for dom\

Eyes are ok. I range between love and hate for most of them. Primal is meh

Large community

Nature Flight

Great aesthetic. Probably my favorite in the game

Tied for some of the best lore in the game. Honestly fantastic. Looks really cute and innocent at first glance but then you read into it and youre like “Wow this is honestly terrifying”

Eyes are great. Im a sucker for them honestly

Dom whats that?

Medium/large community?

Plague Flight

Ok so the aesthetic is uh... gross. Its consistent but its really unappealing to me. Thats not to say its bad. Just gross, and thats the point

Tied with Nature for best lore in the game and for the exact opposite reasons. Looks really gross and necromancy-ish. Instead its about the fight for survival and honestly, I dig it.

Eyes are honestly pretty cool imo. Except the primal which is body horror lol

I hear they were a powerhouse in dom, and now are not quite so into it but still more than most flights

Large community? But again seems like a young community

Arcane Flight

Aesthetic ranges from beautiful to meh. I hate the header. So so much. But the rest is pretty cool

Lore is ok. Im down with the magic and radioactivity. Dont care much for the scholar part but thats ok

I know the eyes are love them or hate them. I love them. Fight me

I have a feeling they want to give a crap about dom but suck at it

Large community, but honestly most obnoxious annoying players seem to come from Arcane. Forum clickbate seems to be their MO

[deathboundinautumn]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE;  Meme.

Mun & Muse

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   @foxcharmed​ (ily) tagging:    oof this is a longer one so ima tag only a few people @rock-you-like-a-hurricxne​, @niflheimqueen​, @tacitusauxilium​, @finalhxaven​, @dxfiedfxte​, and anyone who wants to do it, steal it from me (I wont tell if you dont ;) )

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES? / NO. (I’m not entirely sure? I know he’s generally well-liked in the fandom)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (I’m pretty sure people think he is)

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. (Yeah he's pretty fucking strong, just most people dont use him because you only have him for like a month :/ )

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. (I wouldn’t say they are.  I mean the persona 3 fandom is already small as it is and everyone seems to like him so)

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (In vanilla game not as much but in other mediums that tell the story (which are also canon) yes they are)

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. (just a homeless orphan) 

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (Depends on who you ask.  The other members of the Senpai squad would say he’s the goodest boy.  But others call him a criminal/vagrant/troublemaker and all sorts of things.  Shinji prefers his reputation to be leaning towards the bad side as he’s more likely to be left alone that way)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I have a very very hard time breaking canon.  The big thing being his fate on Oct 4th, its very hard for me to not honor that.  I like that his story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  I like how his sacrifice impacts the rest of the group.  I try to honor that this is what the character wanted and by not letting him have it that im cheapening his sacrifice.  That being said I do have my own headcanons about things but I would say theyre hardly canon divergent.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   -pulls out homeless son from the dumpster- look at him, look at this burnt cinnamon roll.  He may be just a grumpy ol sour-puss but deep down there’s a heart of gold that can’t help but shine through.  Despite his reputation, my boy is wholesome and caring who will always go out of his way to help those in need even if he’ll deny it every time.  Just because he’s crunchy on the outside doesnt mean he aint soft on the inside. -tosses him back in the dumpster-

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  Boy I sure hope you like building character relationships at a snails pace because hoo boy is it gonna take a long ass time for you to get anywhere with this boy.  Opening up? What’s that?  How to do?  He doesn’t want to get to know you or your muse.  He just wants to be left alone so he can die in peace.  Don’t bother him.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I dunno.  I replayed Persona 3 and just really really liked him.  Been in the RP game for a few years at that point and decided, meh fuck it.  If I don’t like it, I’ll just delete.  

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   His struggle is something I hold very near to me and really cut me deep and still does.  Also all of you who think of me and wanna do things with me and my interpretation of Shinjiro <3

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? (I believe that I do/am very confident in my portrayal)

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (I think about them alot but seldom write them down.  Maybe I’ll start since Im actually starting to use tags to organize stuff)

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO (Yep yep yep.  Somethings start as drabbles that make it into the thread (-cough the flashback of Mitsuru leaving the dorms in a thread I have going with @niflheimqueen​-))

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? (tons of praise throughout the year from the community has made me confident that my portrayal is well-liked)

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. (sometimes when I’m on, I’m on.  Other times I look at my writing and am just like ‘dude find a different hobby’ but I keep on keeping on and the highs have been way better than any low ive gone through.

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Aye if its constructive hit me.  But if you’re just hating then that’s not much use to me.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Fuck me up with this shit

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  — Sure, though I haven’t really had that happen before

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Live and let live.  Throughout the years there have been other Shinji’s out there who’s interpretation I’ve looked at and been like ‘nah this aint it chief’ but hey you know what’s real easy to do?  Not give a shit, live and let live.  So if someone didn’t agree with it, I wowuldn’t much care if they liked it or didn’t  its my interpretation and if they have a problem with it and make a point to come at me about it in a way that isn’t constructive then I’d say they have the bigger problem.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  — I’d be sad because he’s a good boy.  But again, if you really dont like him that much you don’t have to interact :’)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Ye, I make em a lot sometimes (especially if Im tired or something else).

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I think so?   I haven’t been told that I’m not easy going and I’ve always felt very approachable.  I don’t always respond to dm’s but that’s because sometimes I’m busy but im always down to talk ooc.  It’s fun :’)

[pwnyta]

Nobody ASKED for any of my shitty Pokemon character doodles... BUT IM IN A MOOD.

SO yall have to deal with it.

This is under a read more so dont come at me about it being annoyingly long. Blame Dumblr. Theres a SHIT TON OF DOODLES UNDER THE CUT.

First off I wanted to give Holly a whole classroom of friends... it wasnt GONNA be an all girls school... but I kept crankin of little girly Mons....

I dont actually have a shiny Darumaka or Eevee... but theyre two of my favorite shinies...

I drew these four after so theyre a bit different in style. Shiny Swirlex has the same excuse as the other two shinies... I just love the shiny colors

They also needed a teacher so I repurposed one of my older characters because I thought itd be funny to have a swan teacher... cuz swans are so scary but they care for their babies well.

Darla and Delilah can be bothered with threats because theyre safe with Mr Shandra.

Mikhail only takes classes that are small enough to fit under his wingspan so he can keep them all safe. And Eva and Tiffany learn from the best and just get pissed off like their teacher.

((Hes more bark than bite though... hes not a great fighter and a double weakness to Electric? Garbo. But he puts up a convincing enough front.))

And because he was a swan I gave him a life mate. The only other being that gets any softness from him.

He was an ex pirate.

Mikhail has no interest in criminals!!! So the captain gave up the pirate life and married a very short tempered bird and gained a lot of weight...because I wanted him chubby.

---

‘’Spider’’, Esi, and dear ol Dad. Despite Reds best efforts to keep Esi out of Osborns hands he still ended up an immensely shady bastard but at least hes not as broken as ‘’Spider’’.

I didnt finish their moms because I couldnt settle on a design for Spiders mum....

Now Spider works for Caedere his beloved boss who would never ever lie to him ever. (Hint: Spiders nature is ‘naive’)

---

I tried revamping Ray and Hebanon...  but Ray still gay as hell for his boy.

I bullied Sparky a little. He’ll probably be fine even if Rays got a Mega evo. Its the name of the game Ray... hes supposed to knock his opponent out... you cant get pissed when ever Hebanon gets fucked up in battle.

---

Did I post these? Am I ever gonna finish these character sheets? No. And look I forgot the most pressing detail of Zippos and thats his fuckin Arbok mark on his back. IM A FOOL.

Kreetan and his mum and dad.

So many little comic things I’ll never finish because theres too many and instead of just stopping and finishing something I keep adding to my unfinished doodles instead. This is why I dont take requests or anything.

I time where Leif and Cyndy actually grow up?

THEY ALL HAVE CAT EARS.

Zippo is curious.

.....AS A CAT.

Polly is here too!! And shes ready to punch someone RIGHT IN THE NOODLE.

I also thought itd be nice to draw out some other Chars of Zippo and Crizs generation.

Theyre.. as you may have guessed are not finished yet.

Clem is a timid lad, Mira... not so much. Very brave

Addy is a modest princess type

Jubilee is a sassy lass.

And Criz. A sweet bashful boy whos never done anything wrong and certainly will not die because no one would be cruel enough to let that happen.

((EYES EMOJI))

Babby Clem, Addy, and Jubilee.

WHO’RE THESE ASSHOLES?!

---

Updated Mistletoe. One spooky righteous(in his own mind) lad.

She only looks stoic to start... but shes quite the weirdo.

She just got here and shes ready to go home. What a mood.

Now for some less polished individuals....

Meh meh meh lookit me IM OMI. Im gonna put three of the exact same Pokemon in the same group so Pwnyta has to suffer tryna come up with different designs.

...But I do like them. I imagine that they remain Ekans because they wont need the mark of their tribe so no one will no where they come from. So spooky.

I was torn between the codename ‘Sundown‘ and ‘Daybreak‘ for Crobat.

By day hes a wholesome trustworthy priest... by night he tortures people for a shady shady bug man. He’ll determine if youre truly innocent.

Doc has to deal with all these fuckin weirdos... he just wants to be a doctor... BUT AT WHAT COST DOC?!

This is a sequel to the doodle comic I was makin in a previous post... Kop and Doc develop an interesting friendship (In Kops mind. Its more a ‘stalker with a crush’ situation) But hey if Kops not being paid then hes got no reason to hurt Doc.

...Docs a fun character to bully because hes so smarmy and small.

---

AND NOW FOR SOME SCIENCE BITCHES.

A man of few words and an intense curiosity with mortal beings and his own existence.

A spooky lad who doesnt quite mean to torment his subordinates... its just his Pressure.

Id imagine his form changes are a bit like Iron Man in IW when hes fighting Thanos.

I drew some more science bitches...

Some casual clothes for the original three stooges.

Shes deaf Franz! She cant hear you.

Ya know IDK if itd be ‘canon‘ that they all met as kids... I just thought itd be cute. Little psychic babies all doofin off together... the most troublesome one being asleep 90% of the time due to being an Abra.... and narcoleptic. Abra sleep so much naturally... Geller sleeps even MORE... thats why hes so incredibly smart even for an Alakazam.

I had a whole little redo sketch comic idea of Mewtwo breakin loose and fuckin shit up.... (its never been finished)

Franz tries to put him to sleep. (it doesnt work. He needs Emanuel and Nola to save him and he gets his arm broken for bein such a cheeky lad.)

Mewtwo doesnt have too much of a problem with Geller due to his soft spot for kids and pure desire for knowledge... but if hes gonna protect the other assholes then PERISH.

Dont worry though big boss Deo wont let his subordinates die let alone the second smartest after him... and saves them all pretty easy. A sharp tentacle arm through the chest will stop even Mewtwo.

Some booboos happen tho...

But hes fine eventually and finds his ex wife home watchin the kids.

Shes promptly expelled.

Geller also goes back for Dilla and steals him. Lifes too short not to adopt an ancient fossil baby.

Emanuel isnt delighted... but he doesnt have the heart to call the authorities on a man who risked his life to save him.

Fossil Mons come in two types-- Resurrected fossils which have the skin color of the primary coloring of their Pokemon form so they can be solid black or blue or red or w/e... Ancestors of ancient Pokemon have normal skin tones.

And another comic sketch idea... where Geller and Roswell are gifted with some fancy new Mega stones... Ros? Not too keen on the idea hes seen what can happen to a bitch when they Mega Evo... he aint got time for that. Geller goes HARD for SCIENCE.

Ros: Geller I know your a spoon guy but stick a fork in that bastard cuz hes done. COOKED. If he thinks im riskin my ass for his bullshit. Lets go tell him off together (im scared to go without you...)

Geller: We experiment on living things all the time for the sake of scientific progress.... are we really too good to be subject to our own studies?

Ros: YES. ABSOLUTELY.

After seeing Geller use his without hesitation, putting his body through a world of hurt for the sake of SCIENCE!!! Ros couldnt pussy out on his boy...

His Mega is just FABULOUS and now he loves it.

--

I was also makin a team with the Pokemon that have the highest stats (non Legends/Psudos/Megas) but I got bored after Blissey. She has a Togekiss wife I didnt finish either... Oh well.

Shes a bold lass and prefers double battles with her support wife. She doesnt like using dangerous moves as its in her nature as a Blissey to heal.

---

(I forgot his whiskers... OH WELL)

I wanted to give Flaminio some people who missed him after he got spirited away by his Ghosts.

After he disappeared people looked for him but he was never found and years and years went by and people stopped looking. Even Clove and Ceto had to move on.

Koban is a loyal bitch though and he never let it go. He still wants his friend back. Hes an old boy now... so old people probably call him ‘Nekomata‘ and wonder when his tail is gonna split.

[sunniapplepie]

Sunni's thoughts on the Tryforce album!

I do this everytime GG puts out a new album (i THINK I did one for Cool Patrol also but i gotta check- ANYWAY)

Here's my post of what I thought of the album and, this is my opinions so not everyone will agree. Take it with a grain of salt, I'm just sayin how I feel:)

RATING SYSTEM IS 10/10 process. 10 being best, 5 being average, 1 being buttfucking bad.

Intro:

It was cute, a nice way to start the album off with a bang. I will say tho, I noticed the theme of "its our last album" really hangs over the whole tracklist from this and that kinda throws off the good vibes. Like, yeah its the last one, but maybe not make it a huge deal that it is.

8/10

Hardest Game in the Fucking World:

I'm in the middle with this one. On the one hand, it's Dan and Arin lamenting on how hard Dark Souls is (and tbh same), but on the other hand...it's literally them lamenting about how hard the game is. Also it's from their perspective and not a game character which is weird but a cool change of pace. The lady in the intro got me confused tho, like WHO ARE YOU???

6/10

A Boy and his Boat:

My favorite of the songs of the ones they did as an MV. I love the beat so much, it has that smooth feel to it like I wanna just chill out by a pool. Dan sounds sooooo good in the bg vocals, and tbh the Zelda raps are always the best so- I'm glad this lived up to the hype. Side note the Disneyland line got me all happy inside XP

10/10

Filling in the Name Of:

So I guess this is a Tetris one? It was a little hard to figure out what it was till I listened a bit longer- and I guess Arin is the long piece that gets used all the time. A pretty funny concept xp I got all happy when Brian showed up- boy needs to be in more songs like when he was in Release the Kraken👍👍 the guitar and Arin excitement is damn good too omg

9/10

Welcome to the Mario Party

Okay this is the one I got all butthurt about before when the video came out- it's supposed to be a smooth jam and Arin is imitating Snoop Dogg, but ehhhh it's kinda just meh for me. The bridge is okay, the beat is nice, I kinda love/hate the inclusion of TWRP, like them being in it makes it sound like a real party slow jam, but also kinda cramps the style of the whole album since this is the only song that has this style to it. Also Dan does fuck all in this one and sounds super monotoned- I liked the line about him losing his invite in the mail tho- but overall, meh

5/10

Dream Daddy- A Dad Dating Skit

....the fuck was this crap?

@ GG, please don't make it like you're money hungry, because that whole skit, makes Arin and Dan seem like they're doing this for quick cash and that's REALLY not good. Couldn't we have gotten a dream daddy rap? No? ....k then. Still sucks tho.

3/10

Donkey Kong Joonyer:

It wasn't good. Like...at all. Its honestly the worst rap of the whole album. It's a one note joke, repeated for the whole run time. And it's not funny. Kinda offensive, and also really fucking dumb.

1/10

A Wild Guitar Solo Appears!:

HELL YEAH A POKEMON RAP!

Honestly this one brought back memories of me trying to learn the last pokemon rap and then listening to the first one at my grandmother's house YEARS ago. A lotta nostalgia in this one, plus the guitar solo was pretty sweet. I will say tho, I don't know if imma remember this one as much as the others. Still really liked it but I feel the other two were better? Also loved the interaction with Ash and Pikachu, it was honestly hella cute. But overall, a very good song!

7/10

The Simple Plot of Kingdom Hearts

...alright so....

This was the song I was dreading because, you guys know I'm a big kh fan and I was thinking I was gonna love it or hate it. Honestly, this one is pretty cute, and I really liked how much the announcer was actually trying to make sense of the plot this time instead of getting butthurt that it's going on for too long xp I did notice tho, they only cover the first game and not the entire storyplot which Id say is a missed opportunity but also a good choice since you don't wanna confuse everyone like crazy, even tho the firsy game KINDA does that anyway. They also made it a big deal that hey, it's the last album this is the last song last last LASTONE, and I'm not a fan of that but fine -_- it was still cute tho- gotta listen to it again to catch the points of the game they made.

8/10

Arin Checks the Mic:

ARIN WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SO GOOD AT RAPPING?? LIKE, I WAS IN SHOCK THE WHOLE TIME, HE SOUNDS SO GOOD, HE WAS GOLDEN

10/10

Blowing the Payload:

Eh. It's the overwatch rap and I'm not 100% into the game anyway from the one time I played and failed miserably, but I mean- it's an okay concept. Reminds me a lot of Robots in Need of Disguise, with it being super mundane but shit happens that completely ridiculous. I did make a point before tho, Dan sounds completely unenthusiastic the whole time and yeah he's playing a guy who's playing other people so the voice shouldn't technically change, but I feel like it should have just to make it funnier (like the guy is trying so hard to get into a character to come off convincing) but then again, him not giving a shit is also kinda funny? So meh, in the middle with that. Not a fan of Arin yelling the whole time tho- it's just got KINDA annoying. Just a smidge.

6/10

Vegeta's Serenade:

Im confused as to why there's a Dragonball rpa in a video game album but sure- OKAY ARIN I STG YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY, YOU SOUND SO BEAUTIFUL ACTUALLY SINGING THIS TIME AND IT'S SO NICE- WHY DIDN'T YOU AND DAN SING TOGETHER THO- MISSED OPPORTUNITY GODDAMMIT BUT IT WAS STILL SUPER GOOD

10/10

This Song Sucks:

Not gonna say this song sucks but- it's not....good either? Lol

It's also in the middle for me- its them poking fun at themselves for the album layout where again, they say it's the last one yada yada, guys don't hammer it in- we get it.

That aside, they were kinda just throwing out what I assume is scrapped ideas for songs they never did- sad but tbh I can see how this would be a good idea and I like it. The Sonic Boom slam tho, BEST PART AND I WAS SHOOKETH.

7/10

Outro:

A perfect sendoff to the whole album. Not my favorite outro but then again, the outtros and intros were never my favorite anyway? But it got me all sentimental- this is probably their last album (if jamming it down our throats that it was the last wasn't already obvious). But still, it's cute xp

9/10

FINAL THOUGHTS

The whole album itself, has this kinda unfocused feeling, like they don't exactly have a consistent flow of songs that go with the mood- its just a "throw to the wall and see what sticks" kinda feel, for me anyway.

I think in the long run, Player Select will still be my favorite along the albums, and Tryforce might be...number 2? Yeah the first Starbomb Album is not my favorite I'm sorry xp

Then again, Starbomb 1 had more songs I hated than actually liked, so this is an improvement.

As the last album goes, it could have been a lot better but for what we got? Pretty good! Had some stinkers tho, not gonna deny that.

Damn guys, this has been a long ass journey, and Starbomb-thought not as special to me as NSP, still holds a lot of nostalgia and sentimental value to me. Tryforce isn't the best of the albums, but its a really nice sendoff to all these years of Starbomb. Hope it isn't the LAST time tho...

[souper-salad]

uh oh oops i forgot i had sent those asks to you, the anime and zelda one!

oh my god yes!! i loved those too! the humour in saiki is priceless. i do gotta say, with haikyuu now nearing the end, im kind of sad we're not getting a full season of it instead of, what was it again, like 2 films?

thats cool!! have you ever played any other zelda game?

you are very welcome and thank you for answering. i hope you had a good weekend!

saiki k is the best, it made me laugh so hard when i first watched it

ah yeah, the end of haikyuu. makes me wanna cry. i don't want it to end, but i'm also glad theyre finishing the show!! though not sure how to feel about the 2 movies thing they're doing

the manga is super good, so at least if they manage to fuck up the last of the story we still have the manga to fall on

ah zelda games! when i was six i started playing twilight princess (never finished it, i mean i was only six and twilight princess is a challenging game!) and i would play up to the part where you become a wolf and raid the village, and then i would get bored and start the game over again. i liked playing as a "big puppy" and being a farmer. but i didn't really progress until i was a lot older

when i was 10 i tried out breath of the wild (my brother got it for chirstmas and i thought it looked fun) and i left the shrine of resurrection and went down the hill. i talked to the old man, and after that the voice told me to activate the tower. i started down the hill again and ran into a bokoblin. i got scared and turned off the wii u (yes the wii u, shut up) and didnt touch breath of the wild for a year.

eventually when i was eleven, my little sister (who was 7) was like "i wanna play breath of the wild" and she finished the great plateau after a few days. i realized i couldn't let my younger sister best me, so i took it up again and got over my fears of bokoblins. me and my younger sister took turns on the wii u and progressed through the game at around the same pace and helped each other through it. we finally beat it when i was twelve and she was eight.

i really enjoyed breath of the wild and started it all over again (because it had taken me so long to be it) and i enjoyed it like it was the first time again, due to my general forgetfulness.

a little over three years ago i picked up twilight princess again. (i had recently read the manga that was out and thought it looked fun) i beat breath of the wild, this one is probably easy i remembered thinking. it was not. i ate my words. this game took me something like 80 hours one way through. and i had to look up tutorials. it was really fun and had a lot of story and i really enjoyed it, but it was kinda a big switch from breath of the wild. a lot of dungeons and the fact that it was really linear kinda messed with me at first.

two birthdays ago i got skyward sword, and with both an open world and linear zelda game under my belt i felt pretty good, and i beat it in 40 hours or so. i really enjoyed that one and boy the story was just so,,,, hhhhhh i loved it

honestly i think its my favorite zelda game. and fyi, i played it on the wii with the wii remote motion controls. it was hard to get the hang of but i eventually got it. the story is very well done and zelda and link's dynamic is 1000000000/10 i love it

last year i played age of calamity and while it was really good, i didn't like what they did with it. overall meh for what i wanted but a good game for what it is. i main as link because that's how every other zelda game goes and i like it that way.

ive started wind waker, link's awakening and a link to the past, but have yet to finish any of them. i think i'll be starting wind waker over again because it's been a bit!!

i want more games under my belt, but right now i'm replaying skyward sword because like i said it's my favorite zelda game.

sorry this was so long but i had a lot to say!!

thanks for the ask and i hope your weekend was amazing!!

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE ELEVEN: “MAYBE IM PARANOID OR MAYBE IM ABOUT TO GET CLAPPED” - LUKAS

This game is genuinely getting to me. With all the world going mad and panic’d, my schedule and thoughts has been all over the place. I’ve come to realize that a lot of the people in the game require actual effort to talk to because in games, you kind of have to be ON all the time in order to get your point across, be nice, or to avoid slipping up. But it’s getting overrated for me. I’m an introvert and at the moment, talking to these people requires too much of my energy when all I really want to do is cuddle with my boyfriend or hang out with friends I may never see again because they might leave my college campus at any moment. Since my college is completely virtual for the rest of the semester, I may graduate before saying goodbye to some people I truly care about. It’s all very surreal and depressing. I no longer really care to hear about what Sharifa’s doing when I know she’s just plotting stuff with other people while I’m talking to her. Why waste my breath? I could just sit and do nothing and not worry about this considering I’m not getting anything real out of it. I’ve had fun for a bit but now it’s overwhelming. One of my biggest outlets just left the game because there’s some people who are too content with just allowing a CLEAR trio of people with 2 idols stay in the game unchallenged. Yet, I can’t even do anything about it myself. I don’t have the numbers and I already fucked up by trying to make amends with Jake in the first place. Which is what gave that trio another idol. Oops. The worst part about it is that I’ve genuinely tried to be a good ally to those who I’ve felt have been good allies to me. I was fully on board to take out Sharifa and fucked my own game to tell Lukas the truth. Now, any time I talk to him, I feel like I’m talking to someone completely different. Like talking to a person who could go crazy at any point. The week after, I tried SHEEPING an alliance that I knew had too much power but wasn’t going to do anything about because I figured I needed their safety. But while I was doing that, they decided to fuck me over last second and try to completely vote me out. Why? Cause they were paranoid because I was being loyal. This week, I considered taking out Kurt but realized it wouldn’t happen. Yet, since the damage has been done by everyone already, why wouldn’t they take out my closest ally? Why give a fuck about me when they can just do whatever they want anyways? No reason to. They can just do and say whatever and have fun doing it. Now, I get to decide if this challenge is worth me trying to win or not. If I win, they can target someone else. Someone they all just talked about votes with. If I lose, they can vote me and I don’t have to deal with their bs anymore. It’s kind of a win-win not gonna lie. But if I win the challenge and STILL nothing happens, I’m just gonna be straight up annoyed. I’ll be frustrated and care even less about what happens which is wild considering all that I just wrote. But realistically, the vote would probably just go to Sarah or Ned anyways. Take out an inac or someone who might have an idol/power. Compared to the wild card Lukas who is following them or the overly nice person they shit on all the time (in Malik). So meh. We’ll see how much time I want to waste tomorrow but rn I’m not feeling it that much. 

I won immunity holy FUCK. 940583 people tied, again, but I won the tie breaker, again. Lukas is going around calling me a comp threat sldkfjs SIS I WON A STAY UP ALL NIGHT CHALLENGE, A “HEY WHAT’S YOUR COLOR” CHALLENGE, A GUESS A NUMBER BETWEEN 1 AND 4 CHALLENGE, AND A FILM A VIDEO OF YOU EATING WHILE YOU TALK CHALLENGE LKAJDSFLKSJDLFKJ ITS NOT THAT DEEP!!! Stephanie voice: You want to call me a threat? I’ll show you how threatening I am. I’ve been cooking up a lil plan for tribal and the best part about it, no one knows I’m at the center of it. Operation backstab Jake is commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2…. Everyone is scared about Jake, Kurt and I being a trio and they want to split us up. Why is everyone scared you ask? Because Jake fucked us over by spilling our tea to Nicklas and not disclosing that relationship to us. It’s just funny because I remember how mad Jake got at me, when I let him know I was pissed. Jake spilling the alliance to Nicklas and telling him I was going after Sarah, is the whole ENTIRE reason why I almost went home at top 11. It’s the whole ass reason why Nicklas had enough information to expose me. It has been a wrench in my plans since the merge. What Nicklas wasn’t prepared for is the fact that I can adapt to whatever situation that is thrown at me, and I’ve been able to shift gears, adjust, and keep on driving down the highway. Part of that adjusting though is getting rid of the target on my back from this trio. Winning this immunity was high key crucial. By me being immune, and Kurt having the social game he has, the only member of the Gross Sisters that people can get the votes on is Jake. The smartest thing for the The Butterflies to do was to plant the seeds and reap the harvest. Just nudge nudge Malik/Lukas/Sarah to something they already want to do, just don’t realize they would have the votes for. Oh just in case if I haven’t updated, The Butterflies consists of Ned, Kurt and myself, named because when I told Ned to be smooth with his game play, he responded “I’ll be as smooth as a butterfly” FLSKDJ got to love the straights <3. Ned and Kurt have a tendency to overthink, they’re really nervous about the execution of the move, and I am to. Because Jake has an idol, and he has enough info to blow up all our games. Voting him out is like trying to deactivate a bomb. One cut of the wrong wire and BOOOOOOOM, we’re dead. Because of that we have to make sure that this doesn't get back to Nicklas. To help stall, I’m telling literally everyone I can get my hands on that I want to vote Nicklas out. That bridge is already burned so might as well keep lighting it on fire hehe. If the destraction vote is Nicklas, than that can hopefully justify my shady behavior to Nicklas and Jake. Hell, maybe Jake would play the idol on Nicklas, which would be beautiful. The thing I’m most worried about is Malik or Lukas approaching Nicklas with the plan to vote out Jake. If they do it’s imperative I organize a split vote. 4 votes on Jake, 2 votes on Nicklas, and 2 votes on Sarah. It will suck because Jake will be left in the game with ample time to expose Ned, Kurt and I, but at least Nicklas will be gone and Jake will have lost some power. Malik and Lukas are already plotting, thinking this is their idea, and Sarah approached me acting like she talked about it with Malik and not Lukas. IM TELLING YALL SARAH AND LUKAS ARE TIGHT AKLSDJF THEY CAN TRY TO HIDE IT FROM ME BUT IM THE QUEEN OF SECRET ALLIANCES. So Sarah brought up voting out Jake and I acted all morally conflicted, said I needed the night to think about it. Sarah can be really flighty so I need her to think she’s in the driver seat. I feel awful. I'm promising an end game and everything, I even made a final 3 with her and Ned, but I need to do what I need to do, to get The Butterflies to the end. Plus I think she’s high key playing me because her and Lukas are def something. I made a deal if we did Jake this time, she HAS to use her vote steal to get out Nicklas right after. I’m pretty sure this is going to be a double tribal, and that’s when I’ve been planning to take Jake and Nicklas out in one fell swoop. This plan is so fragile, and can literally blow up at any second, but if I don’t make this move, I know Jake will not let me touch final 3. My game has always been taking people out, before they could take me out, and that’s just what I have to try to do. If this move does work, final 7 is going to be tricky tricky, if Ned, Kurt and I can make it past it, we’re almost home free, but everyone is going to want to take a shot at me if I lose immunity. Kurt and I have talked about him being the one to pull the trigger. He’s going to go around saying it’s time to take a shot at me, and we’ll see who goes with it, and who won’t. The idea is forcing Sarah into using her steal a vote to help me get out Nicklas. If it is a double tribal, everything is going to happen fast, I just need to make sure I keep myself grounded and calm. I know this jury is bitter as fuck at me right now. And as my body count gets higher and higher, so does the salt level. But even though it seems impossible, I am WINNING this game I swear to God. I have fought tooth and nail, I’ve run this season, and I will take my rightful place on the throne, with my third crown. 

So this vote will go one of two ways: 1) Jake or Sarah go home, which are both fine by me. I would die for Jake to be taken out since he’s so distant towards me, but if Sarah goes due to some shifty shit I’m fine with it. Kurt and I have been working soooo hard on getting the votes on Jake, and we think we have Malik and Ned and maybe even Sarah. But Sharifa is still on her warpath towards Nicklas and Jake wants Sarah, so who knows. 2) Either Kurt or I go home. People have been eerily quiet around me and I know that in this season, that’s a bad omen (as Matt and Dennis have proven). So maybe I’m paranoid, or maybe I’m about to get clapped. All I know is that if I survive this round and a potential live round tonight, this game will be more in my hands than it ever has been.

[baconpal]

since ive been complaining about shit already tonight i might aswell just mention random crap that i’ve been thinking about, but ill spare your dash, feel free to read me rambling about absolutely random shit if you want

first some video game stuff i guess;

the good: I don’t have a switch and still definitely cannont justify getting one yet but woo boy does ARMS look good, i wanna try it, and also splatoon 2, i really liked splats when it was first out, and martyo kart, but its p spensive stuff and im a cheap-ass 

the new thing code vein thing is simultaneous promising and incredibly boring to me, cus anime styled action game with the potential for cute girls to be wielding giant fucking weapons is like, my dream, and the boss designs looked pretty good, if a bit unrelated in the trailer, like the moose knight dude is fucking sick and i wanna use his armor, but then there’s also like, abyssal spear lady miku whose fucking cute, and they’re shown right after each other and it becomes a bit hard to follow, and the story seems to be just fucking dark souls “wah we go hollow and the world is a fuck”, i wish it wasnt that, cus dark souls alone made that setting overused, and while a modern-ish universe certainly sounds nice, it looks fucking bleak and they spend half the video in places that just look like bluer versions of DaS3 areas

the bad: so ive already complained about momodora 4, some people like it for some fucking reason but i dont, and now 5 is happening because they cant just make a new fucking series i guess, and it looks awful, like honestly horrid, its fucking shitty 3d when nobody asked for it, and it’s like, all the worst parts of something like dark souls, and none of the good parts and it angers me to no end that they keep dragging this sorta cute and okay free game series into the mud like this when they could make new games and try new things

the ugly: i never funded or thought about supporting indivisible because i had zero fun with the demo and i never really cared for any of the designs other than the redesigns of other characters from other games, and maybe the big fist girl, who didnt really fit in the style to begin with, but now they’re going and doing major redesigns and model updates that just look stupid and lifeless, like “wah wah diversity” drama aside, that cowboy guy went from a gritty, perfectly decent design to like, fucking nothing, he’s nothing now, i cant even identify him as something because he’s just nothing, and the entire cast seems to have been stretched up for no reason, and now a lot of the interestingly wide characters arent very interesting anymore, im not mad about it cus i never planned on getting it, but as an artist when i see artists take a very solid and nice character/design and just make it fucking awful, it makes me mad, especially cus i’ve seen some artists i used to know do it too, not starting drama or something it just seems pretty dumb to take things that are nice and people like and make them into different things when you could just make a new thing and have both

also uh like my friend showed me this jap band called uplift spice and at first i thought they were meh but i cant stop listening to them now its fucken cute rock stuff and it kills me

now art stuff. these are the things i really wanna talk about but they’re really just me problems so if you’ve already made it this far maybe you’ll care about this random shit

so like commissions have gone decently recently, not complaining about nobody wantin em or something, but for the longest time i’ve had people ask me about commissions, ask if there’s slots open or something, or even straight up say they intend to commission me, and then i’ll never fucking hear from them ever again ever, and like, if you just ask “hey got slots?” doesnt mean i expect you to actually get a comm, but it usually suggests there will atleast be a follow up response like “okay thanks but nevermind” or “ok cool ill be contacting you soon” and then actually following up on it, cus without any closure i just get stressed out thinking about why they never get back to me, are the prices too much? are they worried i won’t accept the comm? did they fucking forget i exist? did they get hit by a car? like even if you fucking told me “nevermind i dont want a comm you’re fucking SMELLY and i HATE YOU” i’d feel better cus at least i wouldnt worry about it for a week or something, none of the people reading this are likely the kinds of people who do this, most of them dont even follow me, but cmon man why you gotta make me worry about this shit

and last thing probably (hopefully jesus what am i even typing all this for) so like now that i’m doin comms more to support my own ass i’m really not pushing for requests in my inbox since a lot of them i’d never do anyway unless i got paid, but at the same time, i really liked drawin the ghost lady for that one ask, cus nobody is ever going to comm me for my own characters unless your one of my super good friends and youre just looking for an excuse to give me money, if you DID honestly comm me my OCs i’d fucking love you that’d be sick, but regardless i think that the only requests ill end up doing anymore are cute megalo1 and 2 ideas or stuff of my OCs, but i dont even know if you guys remember or like any of them, i actually have way more of them than i post because i like to design for fun sometimes, but like other than maybe neon idk if any of my OCs are know to any of my followers other than good friends, so idk if you guys would even care enough to request my OCs, but they’re mine and they make me happy so if you wanna see more of them or ask questions about them or anything, feel free to send me asks or messages or whatever, it’d be cool

so ye that’s all the shit im thinken about right now, if you actually could read all that you’re fucking weird and i like you

[theonstyles]

Eurovision 2017

[lesbianyennefer]

ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)  

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.  

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.    

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad.  one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped. 

- the relationships: by the end of the story i  can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries). 

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.       

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.