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toxic3mmy · 7 months ago

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I’m having a bad case of baby fever since I’m ovulating hard and I need fic of quackity with gf who’s ovulating like crazy and who’s begging for a baby

ooo baby fever!!! the only person in the world that i would ever want a baby w is alex😞😞 but yes, i got u my lovely <33 thx for the request

[also it cane out a bit diff than what u asked for im sorryyyy!! dont hate me bbg💔💔]

prompt: alex dealing with a baby fever filled gf

no smut but mentions of it ofc!!

everywhere you look, there’s babies. on tv commercials, at your job, even at the grocery store there’s always a baby who won’t stop smiling and cooing your way.

and who would make a cute baby? alex, your boyfriend, that’s who!

he has sparkling honey brown eyes with dark lashes framing them perfectly. his fair skin that has freckles and beautiful face moles. and his hair! he has a full head of hair that would look absolutely perfect on a sweet little baby.

lately, on your free time, you were indulging in this want and need and desire for a baby of your own. you were sneakily watching mommy and baby vlogs. you loved seeing their belly grow and their journey through their pregnancy. you even subscribed yourself to a baby magazine and it was what you looked forward to every time you checked your mail.

but you hid all of this from alex. you knew he probably wouldn’t understand. just how most men don’t understand why women obsessed over weddings and wedding planning. it also didn’t help that you were definitely ovulating.

and right now, you were sat listening to your boyfriend going on about his day. well, not really listening. more like admiring him and imagining him as a father and wow did that turn you on.

“what about you? how was your day?” alex asked suddenly

“oh, you know, i mostly just did my online coursework and cleaned the house a bit. i’ve been bored since you went out..” you said, trying to be inconspicuous

“trust me, i missed you too. now let’s eat. the food you made smells amazing” alex said, getting up to serve himself a plate

he served two plates of food, one for you and one for him. the two of you ate in mostly silence, with casual conversation here and there. once you finished eating, alex offered to wash the dishes since you did the cooking.

you sneakily pulled out your phone and scrolled through your pinterest. of course, you had baby related posts all over your feed and you loved it.

“babe.. this sponge sucks. where are the new ones we got the other day?” your boyfriend asked

“should be in the drawer next to the stove” you absentmindedly responded, eyes glued to your phone

alex opened the drawer and found your stash of baby magazines. he wasn’t blind, he knew what you had been obsessing over lately. this was the perfect time to bring it up. so he grabbed a sponge and washed the dishes. after drying his hands, he turned to face you.

“so… you’ve only been studying all day huh?” alex smirked, holding up one of your prized magazines

your eyes widened. you were at a loss for words.

“i-i uh… my sister is pregnant and um she sent me those to help her pick stuff out and—”

“hmm, addressed to our home to ms. y/n” alex interrupted

“do you think i don’t know by now? i see the way you’ve been looking at anything baby related online. i know you always volunteer to do the grocery shopping just for the chance of running into some mother with a baby… my question here is, why hide it?”

“i didn’t think you’d understand… i know how guys get when their girlfriends start talking about babies and i don’t know. i didn’t want to upset you. i didn’t want to make things weird between us..” you explained softly, expecting alex to get upset

he walked closer to where you were sitting and tucked your hair behind your ear gently.

“i could never be upset with you princesa. you don’t have to hide things like this from me. you know i love kids just as much as you do” he reassured you

you nodded sadly, still feeling a sense of guilt.

“why don’t we start trying?”

your eyes lit up and a huge grin was etched onto your face.

“you really mean it?” you asked and alex nodded with a smile on his face

“i would just adore having a little munchkin running around here. i think you’d be a spectacular mother y/n. i can just imagine them having your big ‘ol eyes and your pretty lips” he caressed your face sweetly

“and your gorgeous freckles… oh my god alex! we would have the most adorable baby in the whole wide world! do you actually want to start trying?”

“yes i do, princesa. we’re in a good place financially and also in a healthy place in our relationship. i wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone else but you” he smiled

“you’re going to be such an amazing dad. you don’t know how much i’ve daydreamed about you holding our baby in your strong sexy arms. the way you would be super protective over them. i just know you’d have our baby on your chest at all times. you’re so innocent and precious and so so good with kids alex. you are definitely daddy material” you stood from your seat and reached out to hold his hand

“also.. i may or may not pay attention to your ovulation period…” he said seductively

“what?! why? you’re a weirdo!” you teased him

“no! i mean i pay attention to when you write those notes on our calendar! you freak” alex was red in the face and you couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression

while you were too busy laughing, he suddenly stood up and pushed you against the wall nearby, trapping you there.

“you’re probably really sensitive right now, aren’t you?” his voice came out in a darker tone

“m-maybe…”

“let me make love to you, princesa. quiero impregnarte ahora mismo. quiero que me sientes y que sientes que te hago la mama de mis hijos chula…” he said, making sure to kiss your neck while he spoke

all you could do was nod. his words alone made you so wet and needy for him already.

“i’ll make sure that after tonight, you’ll definitely become a mother” he smirked, dragging you to your shared bedroom

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity x y/n #quackity fanfic

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leomitchellart · 4 years ago

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So… about this latest Inktober controversy….

Time to begrudgingly chuck in my two penneth… (Remeber you can always press “J” to skip this post altogether)

As most of you may or may not know, Alphonso Dunn released a Youtube video wherein he publicly accused Jake Parker, and creator of the Inktober challenge, of plagiarising his book. Both of these men are public figures, artists specialising in pen & ink. In the video Dunn looks at the preview pages and flip through footage of Parker’s “Inktober All Year Round” and says they draw many similarities in the illustrations, language and layout that he used in his own book, “Pen & Ink Drawing”. Parker’s book was set to this month. Hense why Dunn only used footage and not a physical copy.

Since the video’s release, the art community has been very spilt down the middle. The book’s publisher has halted the launch of Parker’s book until the matter can be investigated. Even DeviantArt cancelled their own Inktober event thing (I’ll admit I don’t keep up with these things DA keeps doing). Parker has since released a statement in the matter. Now it’s up to the courts to decide what’s happening next. The video itself is an hour long, but it’s crucial to see it yourself.

People are, understandably, outraged after seeing it. This seems like a shitty thing to rip-off Dunn - not to mention stupid. Since Dunn is the more popular pen & ink artist with more social media followers and name recognition. Many have called to boycott inktober and condemn Parker. I’ll admit, I was right alongside them at first, at least for feeling outraged. The similarities are there. But if YMS’s Kimba video has taught me anything, it’s that, even if an accusation of plagiarism may be obvious at a cursory glance, sometimes it’s important to take a more critical eye and do more research to learn that things aren’t as cut and dry as they first seem. If there’s a lesson I can take away from the internet as a whole, it’s that no one thinks about the consequences of mob mentality.

The most common defence of Parker is that because they’re both books about pen and ink drawing, then they’re inevitably going to be similar. I’ll admit that, when you pick-up so many art books, a lot of them will cover the same basic grounds of materials, tutorials, strokes, techniques etc. The parts about rendering textures on spheres and cubes isnt new. Look up “texture study” and you’ll see so many examples of artists rendering these kinds of things digitally. I’ve also noticed a common theme of people more formally educated in art pointing out how none of these are original. Everything down to the steps and illustrations are things they’ve learned from years ago. Since I'm a pen & ink artist, inspired by my love of comics, I have quite a few books about inking: Dunn’s included. I own both his books and still highly recommend them. I didn't even preorder Parker’s book. Ironically because I didn't think it could offer anything new that my other books hadn’t already.

While Ethan Becker took the time to cross-examine Dunn and Parker’s books with several others, there weren’t many of the ones I actually owned. So I looked to my shelves to see what I could find. Books like:

“The Art of Comic Book Inking” by Gary Martin & Steve Rude

“How Comics Work” by Dave Gibbons & Tim Pilcher

“The DC Comics guide to Inking Comics” by Klaus Janson

“Making Comics” by Scott McCloud

“Stan Lee’s How to Draw Comics”

I’m sure there’s plenty more examples out there. I was planning to go through all of these and take pictures. But ultimately that’s not the core point of these post. Plus it would’ve taken WAY too long and this post itself, is long enough.

Of course, none of the them are 100% close to Dunn’s in the way they’re displayed. Not as close as Parker’s could be considered. That being said, I know Dunn is trying to claim that he invented these techniques. The nucleus of the issue is how similar they are in terms of order and how these pages are displayed. Some I can chock-up to standard practice, while others seem more coincidental.

If there’s one thing I’m adamant about, it’s that I think that Dunn should’ve messaged Parker first before making the accusation public. Some try to dispute that this would've made it easier for Dunn to be “silenced”, whatever that means; but that sounds a bit conspiratorial to me. Ideally, you confront him about it in private, if he makes any threats or blows you off, get your lawyer on the phone and then make the video. Not only is it the more civil thing to do - but it’s the smarter thing to do. This is a serious legal matter, not just internet drama. While I’m sure Dunn had no intention of tearing Parker down or getting a mob onto him, that’s unfortunately what’s happened. A backlash both from the general artisan community and several companies. Wherein it was left to Parker himself to make this an official legal matter. If Parker’s found not guilty, then this could easily leave the gate open for him to sue Dunn for damages, loss of revenue, defamation of character or whatever else, should he see fit. As could the publishers, given how this affected their sales. Companies responded to the accusation of the video alone, before an investigation could be launched. Sure, it wouldn't be “acting the bigger man” but he’d be well within his right to do it. Dunn showed that Jake has mentioned him before, shown admiration for his career and referenced him in other posts. If it comes to light in court, that Dunn is even cited as an inspiration or source in the book itself, then it’s case closed.

Then there’s the other possibility that Parker might not have done this on his own, but that he has a team behind the book. If that’s the case, the most I can accuse Parker of is being a hack. I worry Dunn has kneecapped himself for just how badly he’s handled this situation. Made worse by him not having an actual physical copy to assess and just had footage of preview pages to go on. So far, the circumstances don’t seem on his favour.

I don’t think ill of Dunn. I do think he believes he’s been wronged and no malice in his intentions. I just think he’s made some critical errors on how to handled this. As for Parker himself, I couldn't give a donkey’s doo-dah about him. I’m sure you could accuse me of playing devil’s advocate earlier, but to me, he was the guy who released the annual prompt list. If it really does turn out that he’s a plagiarist and had malicious intent, then fuck ‘im. I never regarded him as an inspiration of mine or paid much attention to him outside of that. It was the community that made Inktober what it is. I’ve never met Parker. Maybe he’s a cool guy? Maybe he’s a bellend? I don’t know.

Granted this isn't the first time Parker has proved himself to be a controversial figure: - Last year people were upset about him trademarking (not copywriting, as many have erroneously claimed) the word “Inktober” and some artists were stopped from selling their related work or zines. Parker would issue a statement: claiming the takedowns were a mistake of “overzealous lawyers” and it’s just a matter of the logo being trademarked. People can sell their Inktober works and even mention they are Inktober-related. Just not use the official logo. On the one hand, from a business standpoint, I get it. It’s the bare minimum you need to do to protect your IP, especially when you have a store. BUT, like most people, I don’t like how, what’s intended as a community challenge, has slowly become more of a brand associated with one man. Hardly a surprise it left a bad taste in so many people’s mouths. But, since it doesn't actually effect anyone’s ability to take part in the challenge, outside of personal principle, I went ahead with it the previous year.

- The year before, when asked if one can do Inktober digitally, Parker said the following:

I know some are still bitter about that, but speaking as someone who inks traditionally and digitally, this came across as needless whinging and blowing things out of proportion. Claiming that Jake had derided digital artists and said they were invalid etc etc. Take it from me, challenging yourself to try out different methods to ink traditionally can greatly improve the work you do digitally. It’s like how learning traditional fundamentals of art can still be applied to digital. Plus he never said “No.” he just gave valid reasons about how it makes it a different experience. That said, if you’re someone who can’t afford any kind of inking equipment or pens and only have a selected application to draw on - then none of this applies to you. Just the aforementioned few who took it upon themselves to get angry over nothing. Recently I’ve heard from subscribers of his newsletter that he’s now embraced the idea of people doing inktober digitally, to the point of selling digital brushes for inktober. I’m sure some will call this “backsliding” or “money grubbing” because people aren’t allowed to change their minds or update their statements.

For weeks I’ve been torn on what to do, not being able to solidify one stance over another. One minute I thought #JusticeForAlphonsoDunn then I wonder “Wait maybe I should look again?” to “But wait, those are way too similar!” Having splinters in my arse from sitting on the fence for so long. The longer this went on, however, I began to realise that I can’t take one stance over another. This case is far too muddy and complicated. I don’t have enough sufficient knowledge or evidence. Nor do any of you. We literally only have Dunn’s video to go on. While it’s a good start, it’s not enough to be taken 100% as gospel when it’s the only thing to hand.

As previously mentioned, a lot of artists have decided to not take part in Inktober at all, or follow different prompt lists. That’s completely fine. A lot of them are based around a specific theme: halloween, kinky stuff, bears, transformers, OCs, Disney or whatever. That has massive appeal. I just can’d do it myself. I prefer the focus on random words, rather than all centred on a single subject; allowing me to be creative with my ideas and execution. I actually did try to make a list of my own random words. Problem is, I worried that because I was choosing my own, I might be subconsciously bias towards certain prompts and not truly challenging myself. Even narrowing down my options was taking too long. In the end…. I’ve decided to just do the official prompts again this year.

For me, that’s what it ultimately came down to. TIME. It’s the middle of September. I can’t afford to wait for the court case to be settled. No other prominent artists I respect have released their own prompt lists. I know there’s been some shitty people who are condemning this choice. Attacking others, accusing them of supporting plagiarism, looking to block anyone who does the official prompts. Even trying to make this a racial issue. Just…. no.

If someone doesn’t want to take part in Inktober, that’s fine. If someone wants to do the official prompts, that’s fine. If someone wants to do their own prompts, that’s fine.

Don’t go around aggressively making snap judgements or accusing people of taking a side. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. This has been a shit year, let people enjoy something.

If you look at this situation and it makes you feel angry, and you don’t feel comfortable in taking part in a challenge because of it’s creator. I get that, I literally get that. It’s why I haven't done Mermay. And please don’t mention Pinktober, I’m aware of it, but given his insta video on the subject and the things he said, I quickly came to the conclusion that I can’t take this person seriously. I’m sure this might make me seem hypocritical, but how this differs, if only for me, is the sheer amount Inktober means to me. It’s more than a simple challenge. Inktober's the one thing I’ve been most excited about all year. As it was ruined for me in 2019, when I lost my home and I didn't get to complete every prompt. (Long story, I’m okay now). As we all know, 2020, has been an AWFUL year. We’ve got to take whatever joy we can. As I’ve looked longer at the official prompts, I found ideas I’m really excited for.

Once I started to really dedicate myself to it, it became a massive event. I hype myself up as I prepare for the busy month. Buy in supplies, clean the house and workspace, cook and freeze meals in bulk to save time, printing off a sheet that allows me to jot down ideas as I plan ahead. Then once it’s done, after so much work, it makes the reward all the sweeter: Ordering a takeaway, celebrating a great halloween night and still rocking those vibes throughout November. Feeling proud of myself for doing it and seeing myself improve my technique, discipline and earning a few lie-ins to make up for the sleep I lost working. I’m like a kid waiting for Christmas. That said, don’t think that there’s something wrong with you when you understandably can’t dedicate that amount time for a simple art challenge. If anything that’s plenty of reason to why you’re smarter than me. You have a life and don’t push yourself too much.

Now, I need to crack on with the preparations. If you want to boycott Jake Parker, just not buying any of his products should be enough. Doing the inktober challenge doesn't bring attention to him, as I doubt most people even know him as the creator, nor does it even line his pockets. I just hate how cancel culture can do such serious damage like this and then try and put pressure on others to act accordingly without even doing any research themselves.

As long as you’re not harassing anybody. Just do what YOU want to do. That’s fine.

#Inktober #Inktober 2020 #My two penneth #Jake Parker #alphonso dunn

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uncloseted · 3 years ago

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my mom believes in homeopathy and i don't know what to do. our town homeopath died not so long ago so she won't be recommending him to people anymore, but she still believes in the system. apparently he cured my brother's hyperthyroidism and my nephew's alopecia. she says that he went to tons of real doctors and the only thing that worked was homeopathy. that left me speechless. im still skeptical but how do you explain that? and if it's a placebo but it works, then why shouldn't we use it?

This answer is going to be a long one, so I apologize in advance. Apologies also for how long this has taken for me to write and publish. As always, I want to make sure that I answer every part of this question with thought, care, and sources. To make it easier to navigate, I'm going to add headers for each section. What are Homeopathic "Remedies"? The first thing I want to do is clarify what homeopathic "remedies" actually are and what the theory behind homeopathy is. Often, I think we imagine that homeopathy is just herbalism- using "natural" plants as "medicine". By itself, doing that is kind of a dubious approach to treating illness, but it can be at least somewhat effective. It's important to understand that that's not what homeopathy is. Homeopathy is an alternative "medicine" practice created in 1796 by Samuel Hahnemann as a reaction to the mainstream medicine of the late 18th century. Hahnemann's homeopathy is based on the doctrine that "like cures like"- that a disease can be cured by a substance that produces similar symptoms to that disease in healthy people. In order to prevent those symptoms from occurring as a result of the "remedy", homeopathy also subscribes to something called the “law of minimum dose”—the notion that the lower the dose of the medication, the greater its effectiveness. This is inconsistent with what science knows about dose-response relationships, where the effect of a dose is reliant on the concentration of the active ingredient. Many homeopathic products are so diluted that no molecules of the original active ingredient remain. Modern advocates of homeopathy have suggested that water "remembers" the substances mixed in it, and transmits the effect of those substances when it's consumed. This isn't consistent with our scientific understanding of matter. Homeopathy also traditionally includes the concept of "miasms" as the "infectious principle" behind illnesses (including illnesses like epilepsy, cancer, deafness, and cataracts). Miasms are a negative force (imagined to be kind of like a cloud or fog) that serve no purpose other than to make humans miserable and ultimately kill them. Traditionally, homeopaths believe that individual symptoms should not be alleviated, since it will only drive the miasm deeper and the miasm will "manifest itself as diseases of the internal organs". They believe that in order to cure illness, the miasm must be removed from the "vital force". The concept of miasms have become less popular in modern times, but there are still homeopaths who base their practice around it. It's important to know that none of these ideas are backed by the scientific method, nor have they been shown to be effective when subjected to the scientific method. That said, you can kind of see concepts in homeopathy that are 18th century explanations for phenomena that are real. For example, "like cures like" and "law of minimum dose" is actually kind of how vaccines work: you give a very small bit ("a minimum dose") of a disease-causing microorganism or an agent that resembles a disease-causing microorganism ("like cures like"), which trains the body's immune system to recognize that agent as a threat. Another example is airborne infectious diseases. It is possible to get certain illnesses (such as COVID-19, measles, chickenpox, the flu, and norovirus) if you encounter a "miasm" (what we now call droplets of an airborne infectious disease). The problem with homeopathy is that it's not the 18th century anymore. Science has moved on from using "like cures like" and "miasms" as explanations for illness. We know that "like cures like" is not an effective treatment for every illness, and we know that not all illnesses are "miasms" (airborne). We have a better grasp of things like genetics, viruses, infections, and environmental factors that allow us to more effectively understand what causes illnesses and how to provide effective, reliable treatments for those illnesses. What's the Harm? Problems with Homeopathic "Remedies" Moving on, I want to start with

your last question first. If homeopathic "remedies" are a placebo and they work, why shouldn't we use them? What's the harm? There are three main problems with using homeopathic "remedies" that I want to discuss. The first and most important answer is just that they don't work. I'll do a deeper dive on the evidence against homeopathic "remedies" and why homeopathic "remedies" don't work in a second, but for now, just know that the first problem is that homeopathy can't fix the health problems people are looking to solve. The placebo effect is pretty limited in its scope; it generally works for subjective, patient-reported outcomes such as pain and nausea, but it doesn't usually affect the actual disease. For example, when the placebo effect is used to treat insomnia, patients perceive that they've slept better, but it doesn't actually improve the amount of time it takes a person to fall asleep. The second problem is that homeopathic "remedies" aren't always harmless. While they're generally "unlikely to provoke severe adverse reactions", there have been cases of those "remedies" being taken off of the market because they've caused serious symptoms such as seizures. In the US, homeopathic "remedies" aren't overseen by the FDA in the same what that medications are. As a result, there's no assurance that the substance you think you're getting is what you're actually getting. Frequently, "remedies" are a waste of money because they don't have enough of the active ingredient to work at all. This is especially true if the product you're getting is a "dilution", which intentionally gets rid of the molecules of the original material as a result of the "law of minimum dose", but it can even be true of things like nutritional supplements that you can buy at CVS or Walmart. In the US, there's no group tasked with objectively testing the claims made by companies that sell "remedies", and there's no group making sure that "remedies" don't have ingredients in them that are unsafe. Belladonna, arsenic, and poison ivy have been found at detectable levels in homeopathic "remedies", and cases of arsenic poisoning in particular have occurred. But because homeopathic products are marketed as if they're "drugs", many people assume they wouldn't be allowed to be sold if they weren't good, if they didn't work, or if they were advertising falsely, and so they keep buying them. If you see an individual homeopath, this problem is compounded. "Homeopath" is not a protected term in the US, meaning that anyone can claim to be one. In turn, this means that there's no licensing board that oversees their work, no professional association or government agency that keeps them accountable for their mistakes, and no educational credentials that they need to begin practicing. Your local homeopath may have no background in biology, medicine, chemistry, pharmacology, or even homeopathic or alternative medicine practices. They can literally just be a person, one who you're trusting to cure your ailments and to not accidentally poison you in the process. The last issue I want to bring up is that homeopathy is often (although not always) viewed as being an acceptable replacement for evidence-backed medicine. This means that often, people who see a homeopath aren't seeing a medical doctor, and their symptoms aren't being treated by evidence-based medicine. By not taking an evidence-based approach to intervening in illness, outcomes are significantly worsened, especially for serious, life-threatening conditions such as cancer. Patients have died as a result of opting to take a homeopathic approach to illness instead of receiving proper treatment for diseases that could have been easily managed by evidence-backed medicine. This becomes an even bigger problem when it comes to public health issues. People who view homeopathy as being equal to or better than evidence-backed medicine are more likely to be anti-vaxxers and to not vaccinate their children. Reductions in vaccination rates have led to resurgences of diseases that had previously

been close to elimination. The US has seen a resurgence of whooping cough, measles, and tetanus as a result of anti-vax sentiment. Those resurgences directly endanger people who cannot be vaccinated due to chronic health issues, people with allergies to ingredients in vaccines, and people who cannot choose to be vaccinated, such as children. How Effective Are Homeopathic "Remedies"? Next, let's talk about studies that look into the efficacy of homeopathic "remedies". Government level reviews of homeopathic "remedies" have been conducted by the UK, Australia, and the European Academies' Science Advisory Council. The UK's study found that there was "no compelling evidence of effect". Australia conducted a meta-analysis of 1800 papers, and found that "there were no health conditions for which there was reliable evidence that homeopathy was effective." EASAC found that there was a lack of evidence that homeopathic products are effective, and raised concerns about quality control. Additionally, there have been systemic reviews and meta-analyses of the efficacy of homeopathic "remedies" from doctors, universities, and medical researchers. In 2005, The Lancet (one of the world's oldest, best-known, and respected medical journals) published a meta-analysis looking at the efficacy of homeopathy. Basically, that means that they looked at data from 110 homeopathy trials. These trials were included in the study because they had a completely randomized set of patients who don't know whether they were getting a "homeopathic treatment" or a placebo pill. This type of "blinded" study allows researchers to see how effective the intervention (in this case, a homeopathic "treatment") actually is. Their findings were, "compatible with the notion that the clinical effects of homeopathy are placebo effects". Meta-analyses have also been conducted on the application of homeopathy for individual diseases, including cancer, ADHD, asthma, insomnia, fibromyalgia, dementia, IBS, osteoarthritis, migraines, ecchymosis and edema, and dermatological conditions, and all have found the same result. The UK's NHS, the American Medical Association, the Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology, the National Health Service and Medical Research Council of Australia, the World Health Organization, the American College of Medical Toxicology, the American Academy of Clinical Toxicology, the Russian Academy of Sciences, and even the acting deputy director of the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine have all come out against the use of homeopathy, saying that there's "no good quality evidence that homeopathy is effective as treatment for any health condition", recommending that no one use homeopathic "treatments" for disease or as a preventative health measure, and noting that there is evidence that using these treatments can produce harm and indirect health risks. But it Seems Like it Works! What Else Could Have Happened? In terms of what happened with your brother's hyperthyroidism and your nephew's alopecia, I'm perfectly happy to admit that I have no idea. I don't know what the homeopath gave them or what else they were taking or what else they were doing during that period of time that might have changed their health status. I can offer you some hypotheses (and I will in a second), but I don't know, and that's okay. What I do know about is the current state of research on homeopathic "remedies" overall, and how it holds up when subjected to the scientific method. There are a few common culprits for why homeopathy may seem to work. I'm going to go over those now, and then I'll dig into some theories for what may have happened with your brother and nephew. These culprits include:

Placebo effect- we talked about this one earlier, but essentially, if people believe that a "treatment" will work, they're also more likely to believe the "treatment" worked after taking it. As a result, they will report feeling better on subjective measures such as pain.

Natural healing- with time, the body can sometimes heal itself without medical assistance. This is most common for things like viruses.

Therapeutic effect of consultation- care, concern, and reassurance from a compassionate caregiver can have a positive impact on the patient's assessment of their well-being, even if objective assessments of their well-being stay the same.

Regression towards the mean- many conditions and diseases are cyclical. The patient may notice a decrease in symptoms that they attribute to homeopathic "remedies", but are actually just a result of moving to a different stage of the disease cycle.

Cessation of unpleasant treatment- a homeopath may suggest that patients stop receiving medical treatment. Medical treatments can sometimes have unpleasant side effects, and so halting those treatments can make the patient feel better in the short term. The patient attributes the decrease in symptoms to the homeopathic "remedy" but it's actually that they stopped taking a medication that has side effects. In the short term, this feels good, but in the long term it is destructive because the disease isn't being treated.

Non-homeopathic treatment- the patient is also receiving medical care, and the medical care is responsible for the decrease in symptoms, not the homeopathic "remedy".

Unrecognized treatments- an unrelated food, exercise, environmental agent, treatment for a different ailment, etc. is also treating the patient's medical condition and is responsible for the decrease in symptoms.

For alopecia areata (hair loss in patches on the scalp), spontaneous remission is actually more common than you might expect. In most cases that begin with a small number of patches of hair loss, hair grows back after a few months to a year. It's possible that your nephew's hair just... grew back, especially if time had passed. It's also possible your nephew's parents were treating his alopecia other ways (minoxidil, contact immunotherapy, corticosteroids, a gluten free diet if the alopecia was associated with celiac disease) and just didn't tell you or your mum. Hyperthyroidism is a bit more difficult to guess at. It could be that your brother's medical doctors switched him to a different medication that did work or changed his dosage. If you're sure that's not it, it could be that he switched his diet to one that's low iodine and low in caffeine. Research suggests that, although a low iodine diet cannot cure hyperthyroidism, it can reduce or alleviate the symptoms in some people. If your brother went vegetarian, vegan, or stopped eating fish, that could be the culprit. If he stopped taking a multivitamin that contains iodine, that could be it. If he started eating a ton of foods high in goitrogens (soy, cassava, cabbage, cauliflower), that could also contribute to what happened, since goitrogens interfere with the uptake of iodine in the thyroid. It's also possible he was misdiagnosed, but if it's true that he went to "tons of real doctors", that seems fairly unlikely. Again, all of these are just guesses for the purpose of illustrating what confounding factors may have been present. I think the bottom line with stories like these are that you're hearing them secondhand. You don't know how many doctors your nephew or brother saw, or the quality of those doctors, or what they diagnosed, or what they prescribed, or how many different lifestyle changes they tried. You don't know what the homeopath prescribed them, or if they took it. You're hearing a story of miracles through the mouth of a believer, and that can make it difficult to know what is and isn't true (in a medically accurate kind of way). It's possible that your mum's homeopath has stumbled upon a treatment for alopecia and one for hyperthyroidism that work better than traditional medicine. I hope that's true. We can always use better treatments, especially for difficult-to-cure conditions like alopecia. But I think it's more likely that there's just some piece of information you weren't given. What do I do? Getting to your original question, there's not a ton of evidence-backed research (that I could find, at least) for how to change people's minds about homeopathy, but there is data on changing people's minds with regard to vaccines, and I think using those tactics may work in both cases. What to do about your mum's beliefs in homeopathy depend on where those beliefs come from, how entrenched they are, and how it's impacting her life. If she's just someone who tries lifestyle changes and supplements from CVS first before going to a doctor and if she believes in vaccination, homeopathy is a waste of time and money, but it's probably not too big of a problem. In that case, it may not be worth pushing her about it, especially if she hasn't found a new homeopath after her old one passed away. If she's anti-vax and/or refuses to see medical doctors, that's a bigger problem, and it's worth having a conversation about. Changing her views is likely to take time, so be prepared to have at least a few conversations about these topics. And be prepared to step away from the conversation and resume it at a later time if it becomes too contentious. Start by asking her about her fears with regard to evidence-backed medicine. Do your best to be curious rather than judgmental in those conversations and to be a good listener. Respect is the most important tool in changing a person's mind, so try not to interrupt, be dismissive, or combat her beliefs off the bat. Affirm her right to have questions (but not the validity of the actual concern), and

try to say positive things about her in the conversation (for example, "I can see you really want to do everything you can to keep yourself healthy and safe"). Focus on her feelings, not facts. By trying to understand where she's coming from, you can begin to understand where her hesitations are and how those fears might be remedied. For example, a lot of people who believe in homeopathy do so in part because they feel like homeopathic practitioners listen to them, respect them, and care about them more than medical doctors do. They've usually had a bad experience with medical doctors. Knowing where her fears lie gives you a better idea of what she needs in a medical context, and can help you figure out how to dispel misconceptions she has about medicine or find alternatives that actually work. In the case of feeling like medical doctors don't respect her, you may be able to help your mum find a medical doctor who will spend longer with her and really listen to what she has to say. You can try asking her follow-up questions that allow her to investigate her own beliefs. For example, you might try asking about Hahnemann's ideas of "like cures like", "the law of minimum dose" or "water memory" and see how she reacts. Many people, even those who use homeopathic "remedies", don't know the principles that it's based on, and will eventually express skepticism when asked to explain them. It's tempting to try and combat pseudoscience with facts, but studies suggest that presenting facts makes people more likely to cling to their original beliefs. It's better to let people investigate their beliefs on their own through asking the right questions. You might also try this technique. Ask her how likely she would be to see a medical doctor/get a vaccine, on a scale of 0-10. If she says 1 or 0, this strategy isn't going to work. But if she says 2 or 3, then you can ask her why she's not a 0. Why is she not fully saying she won't see a medical doctor or get a vaccine? This forces her to explain what she thinks the positives of medical doctors/vaccinations are. Now you're on the same side; you both think there are some positives to the medical profession. Reinforce those ideas when you talk to her. From there, you can ask what would make her more likely to see a medical doctor/get a vaccine, and when she answers, you can point to the places where those things exist in the medical field. If nothing else works, you could try finding ways to make evidence-based medicine and vaccination compatible with her beliefs. Perhaps you could try using the language of homeopathy to explain medical issues and their treatments. For example, with COVID, it might work to tell her that COVID is a miasm, and that researchers used "like cures like" and the “law of minimum dose” to create a vaccine to remove the miasm from the "vital force". All of that is technically true, at least in a sense. It's just not the language scientists would use to describe what happens. To Sum It Up The medical establishment definitely has issues it needs to work on. The lack of compassionate, respectful care in many medical settings is a real problem, and it has real consequences. There are some situations in which a placebo is a potentially valid approach to treatment. But the answer is not to encourage homeopathy. It's to do more research, develop better drugs, and change the ways that doctors interact with their patients. Homeopathy doesn't work, and it does potentially have harmful side effects, both on a personal and societal level. The way we can combat homeopathy is to be curious and respectful, to help people identify and work through their concerns, and to offer them solutions to their medical problems that take those concerns into account.

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mitchmarnier · 5 years ago

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writing prompt masterlist #1

Of course, there’s 75 million prompt lists out there but i figured there’s nothing wrong with making my own. Send me a category + a number + a pairing and i’ll write you a fic. Okay to reblog and use :) (x)

Fake/Secret/Etc Dating AUs:

my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I’m dating you and it’s so you help me get out of them

i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged

you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged

i’m mad at my parents so i ask you out because they wouldn’t approve of you and you’re well aware that i’m just using you but you agree because you find it funny but hey you’re actually super sweet

there’s this really creepy person hitting on me and i don’t know you but you pretending to be my partner completely saved my ass thanks how about i buy you a drink

we’re just really touchy friends and we get each other gifts all the time but everyone thinks we’re going out and we let them think that but why are you getting upset about me going on a date we’re not actually together?

I’m sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU ASSHOLE!

Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they’re very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk

everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks

when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this

friends to lovers aus

You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

Celebrity/Famous AUs

listen, you may be a famous (and extremely attractive) guitarist, but that gives you no right to practise on the electric at two a.m when we live right next to each other.

We broke up and I used my feelings to write songs and now I’m super popular and you want me back

we decided to make a fake vlog drama for our subscribers and they all think it’s real but jokes on us we end up actually liking each other

I run a prank channel and you were some innocent bystander I pranked for a video but then it turns out hey, you’re also famous online haha shit

we met and started talking but i didn’t know you were a rising star until i noticed cameras following me wtf

you’re a reporter and i think you’re super cute so i’ll only give you personal interviews to help your career and also get you to talk to me more

I’m a celebrity and I have a secret social media account and we started talking online and now we’re close friends but you want to meet up oh shit

I’m a celebrity and I may or may not be following your blog which is dedicated to me. reading your comments and tags are hilarious and very flattering and I’m somewhat smitten

You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

wedding/kids/marriage/long term relationship AUs

we’ve been dating forever, and you just caught the bouquet at our friend’s wedding

remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at 30 we’d marry each other, well hey guess whose birthday it is

i’m a runaway bride/groom and you’re driving my getaway car

I suddenly bumped into you after years and wow you look good but holy crap is that a kid?? since when?

you had a breakdown because the baby wouldn’t stop crying and you kept saying how you weren’t ready and how you couldn’t do it

whenever my kid starts crying I just hand them to you and then they just stop and start smiling

“i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”

i always tease you because that’s just our thing we tease each other but for some reason you snapped at me and are you okay? what’s wrong?

my in-laws despise me GREAT but around you they’re super nice so you don’t believe me

neighbours AUs

You always complain about how loud I am (whether it be TV, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you’ve actually knocked on my apartment door and given me a lecture there rather than giving me a phone call, but I’m not really listening because I didn’t realise I had such a cute neighbour

you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream

my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you

we always run into each other on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends

i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment

after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

Please help me, I know you have a kid and my sibling just dropped their baby on me where’s the button to put them to sleep?

I’m stressed and sleep-deprived, please let me pet your cat.

I have really weird dreams and you have really weird dreams so now we’re in this contest to see who has the weirdest dreams.

Strangers/Meet Cute (or meet very NOT cute) AUs

We were sitting next to each other in a public place and I saw a mosquito on you and my instincts just acted before my mind.

We mixed up our clothes at the laundry service and I have nothing left to wear and every thing you wear is too big/small for me.

We’re at a comic book store and if you tell me your superhero is better than mine I’m gonna have to punch you in the teeth.

There are no table left at this restaurant and you let me sit at yours since you’re alone.

I’m a single grown-up with busy friends but I want to go to Disneyland so I drop a message on a forum to find someone like me to go wear silly Mickey ears headband and stuff ourselves with cotton candy.

My computer broke down so I called an IT and now I need to find a reason to call them back so I delete important files and download adwares and do all kinds of stupid things.

I almost dropped something and in my fumbling attempts to stop it from hitting the floor I accidentally projectiled it at your face and it’s a really nice face I’m so sorry

first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

college/high school AUs:

i went on a date with a boy who had plans to take me to dinner and drinks. but he lost his wallet at a pizza place so we just walked around the neighborhood, sat in the park and talked.

we’re in the same study group but we dont talk but you brought goldfish and im starving

we have the same notebook and we took the wrong ones home so i used your notes on my open book test

you were my elementary school crush but you moved away but somehow we end up miraculously going to the same college and i barely recognized you because holy hot damn you are more attractive than i remember?

I tripped over on my way to this party and I’m bleeding profusely from the grazes on my knees and you’re a complete stranger that pretty much jumped me the second I walked in the door to play nurse

ive had a crush on you for 3+ years and now youre going out with my best friend and i definitely havent locked myself in a toilet cubicle to cry

We’re in different debate classes and I was constructing a case on the board and I come in the next morning and you’ve replied to all my points really well?? But I don’t even know your name? And oh shit, we’re taking over the entire whiteboard, is that your phone number squeezed into the corner of the board there?

You have braces and I don’t and I keep forgetting you’re not allowed to have gum so every time I offer, you give this death glare

You sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to prom on the day of prom and I’m not in town

I’m a notorious goody two shoes and you look like you get into fights on a daily basis, so when you were in the library on the first day I was supposed to be a tutor, I assumed I’d be tutoring you. But, as it turns out, we’re both tutors, and the people we’re tutoring keep blowing us off to make out and we have to go round them up

we have a mutual best friend but they cannot find out how much i like you then they’ll tell you, but i need to find out if you’re single!

I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious

You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close

soulmate aus

if one soulmate gets an injury, the other gets it as well.

Character A has a soulmate, but Character A died before they got to meet them. As Character A navigates the afterlife in their ghostly form, they discover that they can’t “move on” until they’ve met their soulmate.

the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born

when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.

You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or something

you have a compass on your wrist and it directs you to where your soulmate is

i usually think i’m having a conversation with myself in my head but it turns out we’re telepathically connected

everybody is born with a map “tattooed” on their forearm that’s centered on the exact location of where they’ll first meet their soul mate

#writing #writing prompts #i did this instead of........ actually writing #eddieways feel free to reblog and/or send prompts

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

#bonus content

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jinjikook · 7 years ago

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like a genie in a bottle (m)

word count: 4.6k

genre: smut + fluff ; non-idol au

pairing: reader/namjoon

warning(s)/kink(s): hand jobs, male masturbation, semi-public, nipple play + light petting

summary: namjoon just needed some extra cash and he turned to a clinic, where he stumbled upon you and your very unique profession

music: one wish - ray j

a/n: the title is a random mixture of rubbing (lmao) + the song i had on repeat, it really doesn’t relate to the fic at all oh well

masterlist

gif credit

“Alright sir, please have a seat and help yourself to some reading materials until the room is ready for you.” The young receptionist gestured to Namjoon, the chilly waiting room fairly empty save for a soul or two beside the tall blond man.

He nodded and wandered for a chair, choosing one an appropriate distance away from the man seated in the corner of the room. At first, Namjoon channeled his nervous energy into small ticks: tapping his feet to some mindless rhythm and matching the slaps on his knees with his hands much to the annoyance of the lady seated in front of him.

After an awkward smile and a murmured apology, he resorted to humming quietly. Some track that Yoongi was working on for his next upload onto SoundCloud, a collaboration between Namjoon, him and a fairly internet famous singer named Jimin.

Namjoon was glad that technology and the use of it was growing every day, allowing underground artists like himself to reach out to greater audiences. He managed to get fans while still working his usual nine to five with minimal crossover between the two.

“…….?” The receptionist beckoned a person over—the man seated in the corner—and handed him a clipboard to fill out, along with a faux flower pen to write with, to which the man grimaced towards. “Please make sure to fill out all the fields, Mr. Im. It’s crucial to your wellbeing,” It seemed like the man was a regular or at least a known patient if they were privy to his constant lies and omissions of facts.

Namjoon understood, the fear of a doctor finding something wrong or weird with you if you actually told them the truth being one that he shared as well. Just imagine having to explain some embarrassing situation that caused your leg to break in three different places—it just seemed so much easier on both parties (and the patient’s personal dignity) if a little white lie is applied, something as simple as faking that it was a regular trip-and-fall scenario rather than an uncouth story about how you tried out a sex swing and the damn thing fought back.

Namjoon shuddered at the horrid memory and tried out throw it out from his mind almost immediately.

Several minutes later, a nurse emerged from a swinging door, clipboard in hand as she called Namjoon inside.

“Please step onto the scale after removing your shoes, we’ll need to document your height and weight.”

Namjoon paused, a confused look on his face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was all a part of the process?”

The nurse hummed, nodding as she seemed to understand.

“Yes, well we are a fairly high quality establishment—as I’m sure you’ve realized from the pay you’re receiving for your… contribution—and to ensure the highest quality and that the consumers know exactly what they’re getting, it is crucial to extract as many specifics as possible. Imagine if a young woman wanted a son who had a chance of getting a hereditary gene for tall height, she’d want to know just how tall the donor was, correct?”

Namjoon nodded and quickly understood just what the purpose of everything was. He wasn’t about to protest since he was literally getting paid a pretty penny just for doing what he usually does at home; just in a more public setting with lower room temperatures and without the aid of a good video off the internet.

After all the documenting was through, the nurse led him to a private room with a sanitized and covered bed. She explained how to go through the process—that of which was fairly unnecessary since Namjoon had had more than enough experience in this field—and showed him the materials needed. Other than his hand and himself, of course.

“And when you’re through, please label the cup accordingly and place it into the small door there. If you have any trouble, please feel free to make use of the aids we have provided for you; though we ask that you try to keep them clean, for sanitation and comfort purposes, of course. Any questions, Mr. Kim?”

The tall blond shook his head and with that, the nurse slipped out with a small smile so he could do his bidding.

He sighed and looked around, accessing his surrounding and the environment he had to rub one out in. In his mind, he repeated a mantra: think of the money, think of the money, think of the money.

While his job’s pay was decent, he needed some extra bang in this month’s paycheck if he was to make rent and still get himself some new headphones since he so gracefully broke his current pair.

In a normal, everyday sense, it seemed like a dumb splurge item to be going to these lengths for. But in Namjoon’s case, he needed them to be able to record his raps and listen back to be properly critical on his audio; he had to make great tracks in order to get anywhere online and he never let himself dish out anything less than the best.

So that’s how he ended up here, as referred by a good friend who had a similar situation to himself—minus the music production part, since he just was in a pinch for money at the time and found this place that provided him with more than enough compensation for what little he actually had to do.

Namjoon looked over at the leaflets set out for people, some about conceiving children and others about recent studies about fertility. Certainly nothing that would help him get it up, and he hoped everyone else who stepped into this room felt the same way. A move to the left brought a stack of naughty magazines that the office had to (unfortunately) subscribe to in order to provide some “material” for people to work with into his sights.

They weren’t that bad, but Namjoon was a man of taste. Porno mags just didn’t do it for him, no matter how provocatively the women posed or how much skin showed or if her breasts were deliciously supple or not.

He liked the sounds a woman made when she was pleasured properly, the feel of her body—her hands, mouth, and more. Call him old-fashioned, but even porn online just didn’t do much. He made do with it, since it was so easy to obtain and resulted in minimal effort of pursuit but he never came nearly as well as he did in the presence of gorgeous lady.

One like yourself.

As he sat on the bed, the paper cover crinkling with every shift of his ass, he realized that he was no closer to getting hard than when he first entered. Which was clearly going to be an issue since he needed to come if he was to get paid.

A knock sounded on the door, breaking Namjoon out of his frantic thoughts and he was semi-glad that he hadn’t gotten started yet, for fear of what would’ve happened if the knock came while he had his dick out and was going to town.

“Mr. Kim, are you decent?”

With a noise of affirmation, in entered yourself clad in a white lab coat, along with an outfit that Namjoon didn’t think a doctor would wear to work but it was tastefully sensual, professional and just shy of being too sexy.

“We were wondering if you were doing alright, it’s been some time since you first entered. Are you having some trouble?”

Color bloomed on Namjoon’s cheeks, a clear, unspoken admittance to his struggle in the time being. You let out a small chuckle, this not being the first time you’d stumbled across a man unable to get the show started. After all, this wasn’t exactly the most sensual and comfortable atmosphere to be getting those type of feelings in.

“Would you like some help? We can provide you with more accommodations, if you’d like to proceed?”

“Accommodations? I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.”

You slowly shut the door behind you, careful not to close it on your coat and Namjoon settled back further into his seated position at the edge of the bed as he awaited for you to explain further on what these so called “accommodations” were.

“Well, you’ve already seen that we aren’t a typical sort of clinic,” Namjoon nodded. “That being said, we clearly care a lot about not only the consumers, but our patients as well. That’s why we pay so highly, we want quality both ways and we intend to provide properly for said performances.”

“I see, I was explained a little of this earlier by the nurse who brought me in. But where does that apply to helping me… perform?”

You stifled a giggle behind your hand, watching as Namjoon tried to ignore the slight awkward air in the atmosphere.

“What I mean is, we go above and beyond to ensure you’re able to come, Mr. Kim.” Spit got caught in Namjoon’s throat as you said what was considered a forbidden term to him, having danced his way around the very obvious reason why he was here all this time only for you to outright say it so boldly. “That’s why I’m here. How would you like me to assist you?”

Okay, that definitely caught Namjoon off guard. More so than when you said the word “come”.

“W-what? You… helping me?” Thoughts blossomed in Namjoon’s mind, against all his mental protests of trying to stay civil and respectable. He imagined you in places and positions that he shouldn’t have, but at the same time he felt that it couldn’t be helped because what else did you mean by “assisting him” in his objective to ejaculate?

You nodded and shrugged your coat off, giving more of your body to Namjoon’s greedy eyes. He was able to look over your curves and supple body, places that the baggy white coat had hidden and tucked away so well. The dress you were wearing was pretty, flattering to your body type and he’s sure if this was a normal day-to-day situation, he’d find you beautiful enough to approach in public. Maybe in a coffee shop or at a department store as you shopped for groceries and goods.

Not in a fertility clinic, and definitely not when he’s about to donate sperm.

“Miss…?”

“Y/N.”

“Okay, I’m sorry Y/N but, I don’t think this is going to work.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” You began to reach for your coat promptly after shedding it off, still maintaining your professionalism much to Namjoon’s surprise. “I can direct in our male aid, if that’s to your preference! I’ve heard he’s plenty good at his job, all his clients have been pleased with his assistance—”

“No! That’s not what I meant!”

You paused, hand on the door.

“Then, how can I possibly help if you aren’t going to be clear with what you want?”

Namjoon groaned, throwing his face into his hands before scrambling them through his hair. The light locks cascaded back onto his face, soft on his hard features.

“I don’t need help, male or female!”

“Oh.”

You looked downtrodden, never having been told you weren’t needed. Sure, there had been some with cold feet or that would request Taehyung instead of yourself, but never had someone outright said they didn’t need you.

“Forgive me then, I’ll leave you to your own devices then, Mr. Kim.”

Trying to save face, Namjoon shot up quickly as you opened the door with your head hung low, stopping you with his hand on your wrist while the other landed on the door to make it slam back shut.

He looked into your eyes, noticing the height difference between the two of you and for a moment, he imagined what it’d look like to see those beautiful, big orbs looking up at him from below. What it’d be like if he succumbed to his desires and allowed you to fall to your knees and please him, all for the sake of money, of course.

“I… I didn’t mean that.” You furrowed your brows, thoroughly confused by the flip-flop attitude of this client. You had other things to attend to and if he truly didn’t want or need your services, then you’d rather get a move on and do something more productive with your time. “This is all really new, I’ve never even donated before. Nothing other than blood, I mean.”

And with that, realization dawned onto your features.

“Ah, I see I have a virgin on my hands!” You wiggled your fingers devilishly, a grin toying on your lips.

“What!? I-I’m not a virgin, I’ve had plenty of sex!”

“Relax, Mr. Kim. That’s not what I meant, I mean you’re a virgin at this sort of scenario. Meaning I get the lovely privilege of popping your cherry, in this sense.”

“Oh god, maybe I will just take the dude and try my luck.”

You giggled and gestured for Namjoon to take a seat and get comfortable, wanting to make this all about him because after all, that is what this was about.

“Remove your jacket, it’s tough to get off if you feel constricted and restrained.” Not feeling up to protesting anymore and making a bigger fool and ass out of himself, Namjoon simply nodded and obliged. The denim jacket was a little suffocating anyways, so it at least softened the blow on his ego as he tried to reason that he had his own intentions for taking the offending garment off anyways.

“Now, are there any preferences you have? Things you don’t like?”

Namjoon gulped, still not mentally prepared for what was about to happen.

“Uh, nothing really crazy. Not like we can do much anyways, right?”

“Right. I can’t jeopardize the integrity of your sperm so—”

“Can we please not call it that?”

“What, sperm? What would you prefer? Ejaculate? Come? Release?” At all of Namjoon’s hilarious reactions, you conjured up one last name that forced you to try and hide your shit-eating grin. “Baby batter?”

“Oh my god, please get me the guy; I’m begging you.”

You tittered and waved him off, seeing his smile that went against his negative connotation towards you. He was clearly getting more comfortable, the light humor helping his tension ease.

“So Mr. Kim, how would you like to do this?” And just like that, it was back into the clean-cut clinical atmosphere from before and Namjoon felt his dick tuck itself away just as quick as it’d appeared.

He stammered, clearly unable to formulate his thoughts along with his concerns and you felt like it was your responsibility to take care of him properly. He was clearly a man that clients would love to “make use of”: handsome, tall, an incredible I.Q. and even creative to boot.

A quick peek behind you told you that the stack of dirty magazines weren’t jostled in the slightest, meaning Namjoon hadn’t cared for them in all this time being here. Even his phone was still neatly pocketed in his jean jacket, telling you that he was probably having the most issues because he was more of a hands on sort of guy.

So naturally, you gave him something to work with—hands on.

Namjoon stared wide eyed at his hands, now latched onto your chest. His mouth gaped open, as if it was he that put his own offending hands there and wasn’t sure how to remedy the situation despite the fact that you started it.

“Go on, have a little fun Mr. Kim.

“N-Namjoon.”

You nodded, pursing your lips and trying his name on the tip of your tongue.

“Oh, fuck me.”

Another giggle erupted from your lips, never having had this much fun with a patient before.

Usually they didn’t even require Taehyung or yourself, the magazines and whatever pre-downloaded clips on their cellular doing just the trick for them. Most clients didn’t even know you two existed, what your true purposes were other than collecting the goods to examine and freeze cryogenically.

Namjoon’s head lolled forward, almost resting on your shoulder as he began to knead on his own accord. No sense prolonging the inevitable any longer, he supposed. He felt around, able to map out where your nipples lay under the thin bra you had on in mere minutes. Namjoon prided himself in how well he could work his hands, somewhat of a connoisseur of making girls—and a guy or two—come within minutes with his hands and fingers alone.

Now, this job entailed you to help the clients with their struggles but in no way did it ever go over what would happen if you enjoyed yourself as well. Those who did make use of your services simply did well with a quick hand job, maybe some light fondling but it never progressed further and you always had an air of professionalism around you the entire time. It was an in-and-out sort of job, and you always had a good grasp on that concept.

But Namjoon was a little different.

He was so vocal, groaning and moaning with just feeling you up alone. He’d mumble, saying words like “perfect” and “gorgeous”, things usually these type of guys wouldn’t describe you or your body with at a time like this.

All the while, he maintained the limit of respect, never treading any further and always keeping from saying or doing the wrong thing.

So you were getting a little lost in the feeling and sentiment, his fingers toying with your nipples a little harder than you initially expected. You fought every little noise that bubbled up in your throat, stamping them down for the sake of being a professional.

He hissed, one hand releasing its grip on your breast to come down and adjust himself in his jeans. In hindsight, it’d been a shit choice of attire but at least he looked good, though he wasn’t sure who for since he wasn’t out on a spree to impress anyone in particular. Especially not at a fertility clinic.

“It’s okay, you can make yourself comfortable.” You murmured, Namjoon momentarily forgetting just exactly what he was here for. So with that, he used his hand to instead lower the zipper of his bottoms, the loud metal snagging with every tooth until finally he was able to pop the top button and expose the front of his briefs.

For a moment, he just remained content with rubbing himself off over the fabric of his underwear but quickly the pleasure faded as he craved a more intimate touch. He pulled away from you altogether to tug himself out, exhaling in relief at the lack of confinement around his cock.

“W-wait, before you continue,” You began, moving away from Namjoon to which he instantly regretted, the warmth of your body gone and a chill settling in its place. As you shuffled in the background, around the counter top where the magazines lay, you turned back with the materials the nurse left Namjoon with earlier.

You placed them by Namjoon’s seated body, the cup remaining in place while you took the little square pack and tore it open carefully, extracting a small disinfecting wipe.

“Sorry, it’s protocol.”

“S’okay,” Namjoon slurred, watching intently as you approached his hard and leaking length with the unfolded, damp cloth. It was cold to the touch, almost icy against his hot skin as you quickly wiped away any offending bacteria carefully but thoroughly. “Cold,” He mumbled, to which you apologized and tried to make work of it faster, for his sake more than anything else.

Once you were done with that, you tossed it into the disposal bin and reached for the second square, this one being smaller and of the foil variety.

For a second, Namjoon thought it was a condom but it was much too tiny—especially compared to the size of his length—and the use of a condom would obviously be very pointless in this situation. When you tore it open, holding it at an angle so its contents wouldn’t spill out, realization dawned on Namjoon and he only had a second to mentally prepare before the semi-cold lube dripped onto his cock, the muscle twitching in response to the contact.

Namjoon hissed, fingers twisting and tightening in the paper cover with a loud crinkling cacophony. You apologized once more, trying to quickly coat his cock before covering it with your own hand, making quick work to start up some friction to at least heat up the lubricant for Namjoon’s comfort.

“Oh my god—fuck, s’ah,” Namjoon was torn between talking, moaning and hissing, everything bumping into each other as his nerve endings felt like they were on fire. Your hand was working him slowly but steadily, a firm grip giving him just the right amount of friction everywhere. No doubt were you good at your job, paying extra attention to his head as it continued to leak a steady stream of pre come. “Holy fuck, Y/N, you’re too good at this,”

You let out a breathless chuckle, a little in awe at Namjoon’s reactions. Sure, guys could enjoy it and appreciate it but no one had ever been this enthusiastic, making your own core tingle in between your legs and you knelt down for better measure. That, and it helped put a little bit of pressure on your own sex if you sat on your legs, down on your knees.

“D-don’t do that, shit—Y/N, why are you—”

Namjoon cut himself off with his own groan, head rolling back with his eyes when you twisted particularly well just at the head, in the one spot he was most sensitive. You craved to push your thumb against the slit, smooth out the slick there and make him squirm for real.

But unfortunately, you weren’t allowed to touch there, something about directly contaminating the stream and possibly ruining the batch.

Typically, you’d time the man, make sure you had the cup at the ready for when he was about to orgasm but here you were, on your knees and far too invested in the way Namjoon’s own knees would shake if you held down at the base slightly longer than usual.

His whimpers were light, breathless as they came out stuttered and one after another; an obvious indication that he was getting desperate and close and you felt like you weren’t finished in the slightest.

“Baby, gonna come, comin’” Namjoon so lovingly slurred, his head coming back up to look down at you with full blown out eyes, dark and soft simultaneously making your heart and stomach flip. His hand came down and you had to tear your eyes away from his own when he quirked his brow, gesturing to the cup he had been holding.

Clearly Namjoon had a better grip on the situation than you did and you weren’t sure how you felt about that just yet.

So you simply pushed it back into the dark recesses of your mind, taking the item into your own hand and holding it just at the tip, using your other hand to continue to jerk off the man in front of you. But Namjoon seemed to see the difficulty you had with the angle and having to keep a steady grip on the cup so he brought down his hand to help, wrapping over your own as you both slid up and down his cock, the sounds getting louder from both his skin and his own gaping maw.

Namjoon panted hard, whispering sweet nothings that were just much too sugary for you to handle—for fuck’s sake, you simply worked here. This was getting far too personal and you were afraid of how much the claws of Cupid himself had dug themselves into your back and heart, tearing them both at the same time Namjoon let out one final moan, a little too loud for the non-soundproofed clinic walls.

Despite the air conditioning hiked up for the sake of sanitary purposes, the air around you felt heated and stifling, your throat constricting around straight humidity as Namjoon released into the cup, filling it to the brim with his white, sticky come. Even with the two of you holding tightly onto the cup, and the aim Namjoon had with his cock in hand, it didn’t stop a drop or two from landing on your cheek, your face far too close for usual comfort as Namjoon came.

While he slumped back, coming down from his high, you had broken out of whatever delirious stupor you’d fallen victim to and finally began to do your damn job. You scrambled to your feet, not even cleaning the little bit of come on you as you slapped a top onto the cup and wrote down Namjoon’s information you’d taken from his chart on the clipboard you’d seen earlier.

The door shut with a loud metal clank, the cup secure behind its confines and you were afraid to turn on shaky legs and face the man you’d just gotten too intimate with, even in your job’s case.

“That was… not what I was expecting at all,” Namjoon spoke first, soft and breathless but still painstakingly loud in the otherwise pin-drop silent room.

“Right, well thank you for choosing our services and I—uh, I mean, we hope to see you again soon.” You could no longer hold onto your professionalism, the damn thing torn to shreds and the last shard slipped through your fingers the minute you decided to get down to seat yourself next to Namjoon’s well-endowed length.

“Thank you, Y/N. I don’t think I could’ve done it without you.” You couldn’t help but look up at Namjoon, no longer able to resist his charms even laden in his voice.

You were met with a dopey grin, clearly content with his release but also a little bit of something more interlaced somewhere in there. It stole your breath away and you’re sure that you wouldn’t be able to do your job half as well anymore because of the way Namjoon had so critically affected you.

With a nod, you tried to extract yourself from the situation as cold and clean-cut as possible.

Which was basically impossible with a guy like Namjoon around.

“Hey, uh, Y/N?” He pointed to a part of his cheek, making a swiping motion. “You got a little something on your face there.” He chuckled as you scrubbed at the spot and snatched your coat back, already halfway out the door.

“Oh, I had one more question!”

With much regret, you stepped back in and looked at the man seated smugly on the bed. The same man that just ten minutes prior was all curled up on himself with stuttering words and nervous hands.

“Do you guys do reservations? Because I’d like to book up your whole week, if that’s possible.” He smirked and you were about to turn heel and leave for the sake of your own sanity and dignity but you had a little bite left in you, and if Namjoon was true in his pursuits for you, well then he deserved to see the snarkier side of you.

“Sorry, I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to get it up that much in a week for that to happen. Thank you for your patronage… sir.”

You stepped out to a slack jawed Namjoon and he recomposed himself in time to shrug his jacket back on and cock his head, deeply surprised by his experience but in no way dissatisfied.

He saw that as a challenge and he was ready to take you up on it.

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shirlleycoyle · 4 years ago

Text

The Tamagotchi Cemetery

This article was originally published on Burials and Beyond. You can subscribe to the Burials and Beyond Patreon here.

“I thought it would be better for him here because I didn’t really want to reset him because it would be like a different thing and I was really close to him. I know that sounds stupid, but I was. But you can bury your pets and if you love something else, you can bury them as well.”

So said young mourner Danielle Perren in 1997.

Interring her pet into the beautiful farmland of Pontsmill, Cornwall, Danielle’s beloved friend was placed into a tiny wooden coffin and buried in a small square grave, there to rest in peace. Danielle’s grief was very real, but her pet? Not so much. That was a Tamagotchi.

In 1996, Japanese toy designers Aki Maita and Yokoi Akihiro debuted the first ever Tamagotchi. The tiny plastic case held the world’s first virtual pet, which, despite being a simple arrangement of pixels, required constant care and attention, lest the creature perish. Released by Bandai, the egg-shaped toy was one of the biggest fads of the 90s, maintaining a surprising popularity over the decades, with over 82 million units sold as of 2017.

The name itself is a portmanteau of two Japanese words; ‘tamago’, meaning ‘egg’ and ‘uotchi’, meaning watch. Considering the product is an egg shaped toy, the size of a watch…it seems to be pretty solid marketing.

Image: Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images

Those of us who were at school in the 90s will vividly recall a classroom of incessant bleeps and cries of ‘I’ve gotta feed ‘im’, before the eggs were promptly and unsurprisingly banned from schoolyards. From this grew a strange, rarely remembered, sideline in individuals who would take your Tamagotchi into daycare, feeding and washing them (via tiny button clicks) until you could return from school or work. As bizarre as it sounds, after recently discovering a pair of 25-year old Tamagotchi survivors, I believe nothing to be impossible.

The Tamagotchi interface is incredibly simple, with most utilising three buttons, which correspond to care functions of the creature. The pet, should it live that long, is designed to go through a basic life cycle of Baby, Child, Teenager and Adult (with later versions adding a hopeful Senior option). However, the majority of Tamagotchis had brief, fleeting lives before succumbing to death through a child’s negligence.

While many parents bought their offspring Tamagotchis as toys, others thought that a child taking responsibility for a digital creature would be an ideal pre-pet investment, to see if they were mature enough to understand the needs of another living thing. While this is an ideal moralistic exercise, what occurred in reality was a pocket of brief generational trauma where young children woke up to find that, after sleeping though muted midi cries of hunger at 3am, their new toy had perished overnight. You killed your first pet.

Image: Mathieu Polak/Sygma/ Sygma via Getty Images

This culpability for death is one of the strangest qualities in toy history; even the death of shoals of Sea Monkeys failed to elicit such a primal reaction of grief and blame from the very young. In the new world of portable digital pets, they were expected to entertain, but not truly die. This element of blame, guilt and finality was truly amped up in the early Japanese models where a ghost and headstone would meet the neglectful owner. In more recent English-language variants, this cemetery scene was substituted for an angel of death, or a cheery little UFO, popping in to take the Tamagotchi back to its home planet. Once you’ve inadvertently murdered your new pal, the game can be reset and you’re trusted with a strange egg baby once more.

The Tamagotchi in its many forms has never shied away from death, addressing the finality of existence in its cheery little game, but also in its genuinely bizarre cartoon.

In the ninth episode of the original tie-in anime, titled ‘The First Death’, several little creatures gather and weep inconsolably at the bedside of a dying Tamagotchi (Ginjirotchi),after a small yellow doctor with mouse ears (Mametchi) confirms death. Quickly, the soul of the deceased is surrounded by tiny little angels, who guide it to the pearly gates and Tamagotchi heaven, which is mainly pink clouds and sweets. Suddenly, the sweets disappear in a cruel trap and the Tamagotchi is tormented by little bat creatures with forks (Deviltchi), before being rescued once more and taken back into hyper-cute heaven where everyone sits down and has pudding together. The whole affair lasts a matter of minutes and is as brilliant as it is disconcerting.

I never owned a Tamagotchi in my 90s heyday, as my mother couldn’t afford the indulgence. Instead, I had a knock-off variant, a Giga Pet called ‘Compu Kitty’ from Woolworths, with which I was utterly chuffed. (I still have it to this day, unable to part with the luminous yellow crap plastic atrocity.)

I vividly remember crying when I woke up for school one morning and the pixelated cat had breathed its last. But one reset later, those tears dried, and after another six hours came another death. After that, the circle of life seemed rather less majestic and a more predictable cycle of button pushing and bleeps.

In 1996, a pet cemetery in Pontsmill, Cornwall was the first to diversify their interments and fence off a dedicated section for the burial of electronic pets. When CNN reported in 1997, they equated this very modern mourning with the established love that British people have of their traditional, breathing pets.

On January 17th 1997, two teenage girls were in Cornwall to bury their Tamagotchis, named Sid and Arty, two consoles never to be reset.

My first thought was very outdated parental shock, as Tamagotchi’s weren’t terribly cheap when they came out and to bury a brand new toy seems awfully wasteful. Taking another expensive trip to Argos wouldn’t have gone down too well in my household.

However, 14-year-old Danielle was strong in her resolve and placed the little plastic contraption into the earth. She was not alone in her beliefs either, as cemetery owner Terry Squires revealed that many international burials had been carried out in his Cornish field. Tamagotchis from as far afield as Switzerland, Germany, France, Canada and America had all been laid to rest in his pet cemetery, with many more on the way.

However, looking at Pontsmill today, there are no mentions to be found of deceased cyberpets, with the business promoting itself solely as a pet cemetery and green burial site for traditional human interments. I would be curious to know if the rudimentary headstones remain, or if the Tamagotchis and their mournful batteries were turned over or forgotten as many other crazes came and went.

For those who wanted to memorialise their Tamagotchis, but didn’t fancy burying the case in the garden, there were several online cemeteries and memorial sites for dead digital pets, where eulogies, ages and causes of death could be recorded in one enormous late 90s census.

Today, there are a handful of online Tamagotchi cemeteries still functioning, if long-abandoned. However, records of their digital death and memorials remain in sites such as Tama Talk’s Memorial page. These old GeoCities or Angelfire websites are framed in pixelated gifs and solemn MIDI music where you must adjust your eyes to decipher the spidery text against questionable repeated wallpaper. In these simple databases, names and brief epitaphs are recorded; some sincere, some dismissive and some simply odd:

Banjo – Cause of Death: Died taking the biggest crap you’ve ever seen.

Joe the Dinosaur – Cause of Death: Accidental Resetting.

‘My poor Joe. The first born. He had a good life and was taken care of very well It was unfortunate that his life had to come to such an abrupt end, whilst living in a jeans pocket. We shall all miss him very dearly.’

These eulogies and epitaphs are time capsules of young people’s first interactions with death and loss, where an essay can prove as impactful as an unplanned tumble into a bathtub. There’s a certain importance of a digital emotional connection in childhood that deserves to remain memorialised, and not lost to the ether.

The levels of emotional investment that we have with digital media, and computers in particular, has been tracked by researchers since the 1980s. Alan Turing said in his 1950 paper ‘Can Machines Think?’ that we can judge the intelligence of a computer by its performance in conversation with man. Namely, if the computer is able to convince the human subject that they are talking to a fellow human and not a machine, then human-equivalent intelligence can be determined. This test became known as the ‘Turing Test’ and is still studied and implemented today in experiments of navigating artificial technology, or the ability of ‘bots’ to mimic human interaction.

In the intervening decades, it has been noted that people attribute an increased level of personhood to a computer, not least in terms of pre-programmed gameplay. Therefore, if a Tamagotchi was able to incite very real joy and grief from its user or owner, it could be seen as the first great wave of artificial intelligence in the western world.

In more extreme contemporary circumstances, man’s relationship with digital games has snowballed. While in terms of toys, other digital pets like the Furby, Poo-Chi (which I did own briefly, but was swiftly broken by my portly, recently-divorced father screaming into its microphone on Christmas day. I’m over it. It’s fine.) or even NeoPets virtual pet community have not brought about the same primal love and devotion as the humble Tamagotchi. Perhaps it was the inevitability of death that separated our love for the Tama from its immortal digital counterparts.

However, interactions with digital gameplay appear to have moved in two separate directions; ambivalence and devotion.

Today, electronic games and pets are commonplace, providing no new emotional experiences for children who have grown up within the digital age, where entertainment can be accessed at the click of a button and nothing is finite.

On the other hand, there are instances of individuals such as a 27-year old Japanese man named Sal 9000 (the only name he would provide to the press), who was so emotionally invested in the DS Game ‘Love Plus’, decided to marry the main avatar in a lavish, if highly controversial ceremony in 2009. When questioned as to whether he could truly love a digital, pre-programmed woman, he explained that “I love this character, not a machine.” Going on to say that “I understand 100 percent that this is a game. I understand very well that I cannot marry her physically or legally.”

However, his preference for the digital, predictable and placid provoked far more discussion. Explaining that Nene Anegasakiwas better than a ‘real’ girlfriend, he listed her perks, stating that, “She doesn’t get angry if I’m late in replying to her. Well, she gets angry, but she forgives me quickly.”[1]

Sal is not alone in his preference and several others have followed in his stead, marrying digital characters in ceremonies across the world. In 2018, Japan hit the headlines again as 35-year-old school administrator Akihiko Kondo married the hologram of video game character, Hatsune Miku. Whether these marriages will last when the bride’s updates are discontinued is another matter, but our changing relationship with life, love, and death in the digital age is undeniable.

On which note, I’ll thank you for taking this strange journey with me and take my leave. My Compu Kitty needs feeding.

The Tamagotchi Cemetery syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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lordzuuko · 7 years ago

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For the family Sheith Au has Lance ever tried being a beauty guru? Like Shiro and Keith allow him to post videos to YouTube and his channel get gets popular?? Like a teen boy who gives good advice and does his makeup and outfits so good??? Lance would probably get overwhelmed knowing this was his thing™ and that people honestly like him

[The Voltron Family] It was no secret in the family that Lance liked using beauty products. He had to get rid or at least hide those pimples one way or another, right? It was Daddy Shiro who, of course, advised him which products would be good to use that could not be harmful to him. He was a doctor after all, it was his thing.

Then his friends noticed how on earth he was taking such good care of his skin. To which he just jokes around “Oh, well, genes. Plus, my Dad’s a doctor and he keeps track of our health. So, he told me to use this product.” His friends told him he should post a video about it on YouTube.

He felt the need to ask permission though from his parents for some reason. They said it was okay as long as it didn’t affect his studies. And that was how he started his channel wherein he gave beauty tips and advises on good combos for outfits. He didn’t expect he’d get a lot of subscribers and receive such kind comments. So he continued.

His recent live video was trending and became the most viewed in less than 5 hours.

Make Up Time with My DadLancelotofmakeup 50.4M views - 4 hours ago

“Today, I have a special guest,” Lance said at the start of the video. “I know I don’t usually have a guest but I thought it would be fun to have one. So, anyway. I have two amazing Dads. One’s a neurosurgeon and another is an author.” He paused to smile. “You might have read a book or two of his. One of them will join me for this thing and I’m pretty excited.” He looked away behind the camera and waved over, “C’mon, Daddy Keith. This is your cue.”

breathewithfire: omg he still calls him daddy lolanthonyly: Y’all no shame. I still call mine daddy too and I’m 19 so stfu

His Dad sat down beside him on couch in the living room. He looked at the camera nervously and made an awkward wave. “Hi.”

sherlyholmes: HOLY SHIT THAT CANT BE YOUR DADdragonsbeforemurder: He looks so young??????? Is that normal??????Danica Wells: He is such a cutie. spideyforlife: I’m having this weird tingly feeling in my nether regions keithisthebest: GUYS GUYS THAT’S KEITH SHIROGANE. BEST SELLING AUTHOR OF SO MANY BOOKS. WHAT THE HELL LANCE YOU DIDN’T TELL US YOU’RE A SHIROGANE?! I FEEL BETRAYED. Tell your Daddy i’m a fan!clarrisemel: Oh wow. I didn’t know he was gay. Love his series!keithisthebest: He’s ace. He’s been very open about it. Fucking Legend.

Lance laughed at the live comment section. “Whoa, guys! Calm down! But yes, I’m the son of Keith Shirogane. Sometimes it’s easy to forget he’s known world wide, cause at home he’s just my Dad.”

BelleDuck: Awwwwwww, does he cook, Lance?Viva090: He seems like the type to bake Halloween cookies lbr.

Lance just rolled his eyes fondly. “People, in case you forgot this is a make-up tutorial video. Not a Q&A.” He turned to his Dad and said, “We should get started. First, there’s this BB cream that I use that’s really good.”

Lance explained to the camera and then turned to his Dad. He opened the tube and squeezed out just a little cream. “Just a small amount and then apply to dry skin—five dots would be fine.” He started putting dots of cream to his Dad’s face as he enumerated them. “Forehead, two cheeks, nose and then lastly, chin. Then gently blend it out.”

“Hmmm,” Keith hummed with his eyes closed as Lance spread the cream all over his face. “This is quite nice. I see why you like this.”

Lance just laughed. “I’m so jealous why you have such nice skin though.” He turned towards the camera and added, “Guys, I’m serious. Daddy Keith literally has like the softest skin I’ve ever touched. Like, a baby’s bum.”

He received a soft slap from his Dad.

“This rude child,” he opened his eyes just for Lance to see them roll at him. “I’m Asian. It’s kind of our thing. We’re flawless. Head to toe.”

GinaGreed: LMAO Ok but where the lie though HAHAHHAAHarold Gull: The man knows his facts. Jenny Salvador: As an Asian, I can confirm what he said is true. XD

They were about to continue when they got disrupted by Daddy Shiro. He suddenly appeared from behind them to kiss Daddy Keith on the lips, tilting his head backwards for easy access.

“Morning, love,” Daddy Shiro smiled like a love-struck man.

“Morning,” Daddy Keith returned the smile.

keithisthebest: KDHFJKSDHFKJSDHFKJSDHFKDJSHFDFDanica Wells: Is that your other Daddy? spideyforlife: What the heck did we just witness? Not complaining tho. He just did the spiderman kiss but like couch version bootstrapbilldeservedbetter: OH MY GOD catherine: this is officially my fave live video ever im crying in the clubbringbackemomusic: OK BUT MARRIAGE GOALS?? They are so cute!!!everythingisbetterrightwhereitswetter: They look so in love. DISGUSTING. samuraijack: Everyone’s thinking it so i’m gonna say it: HE IS HOT. Like no offense Lance but wtf do you have two gorgeous dads? WHERE DO I SIGN UP

“Daddy Shiro!” Lance groaned. “We’re doing the live YouTube video today!”

His Dad stepped back, blinking repeatedly. “Oh my god. I’m sorry! Was it today? Did I just ruin your video? I mean, you could edit it, right? Wait, you said live, so you can’t.” He frowned. “I should just leave now before I make it worse.”

Khalisi: No! Daddy Shiro don’t go! Come back!keithisthebest: DON’T GOOOOO!!Rica Fillion: Lance, tell your Dad not to go!! He didn’t ruin the video!samuraijack: He looks so heartbroken. POOR BB. he just wanted to kiss the husband :((((((((((((

Lance just let out a boisterous laugh. “It’s okay, Daddy Shiro. You two are causing such amazing reaction from my viewers. How do you guys do it?”

#hidden-daydreamers #ask #sheith #the voltron family #this was so much fun omg

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markgossage · 6 years ago

Video

youtube

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#IFTTT #YouTube

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feedbaylenny · 6 years ago

Text

Several times a year, before elections, a man in Florida emails me about who to support in elections down there. The goal is to receive money (Isn’t that everyone’s?) for private schools. In this case, it’s Jewish religious schools. And that’s despite public schools being free for everyone – Jews too – and paid for with everybody’s tax dollars.

So don’t tell me there’s no alternative when public schools are required to bend over backwards to meet all students’ needs.

The first time I got the email, I wrote back, asking the nephrologist (a doctor specializing in the diagnosis and treatment of kidney diseases) how he got my name and my email address. He was very polite and offered to take me off. I said it wasn’t necessary. I really wanted to read what he had to say. Information is power and I was a teacher for eight years, spending several lousy months at a Conservative Jewish day school.

The private school was the worst of my experiences and probably the least educational of the three schools where I taught, including public schools in two Florida counties.

Most of the parents whose children I taught at the religious school wanted special programs, and they wanted their children in those programs with people of the same culture. There’s absolutely no question in my mind.

I briefly compared the different teaching experiences when I wrote about why I left the field in general, on the eve of my Florida certification expiring in late June.

So the problem I had, personally, was “class” and not religion. I actually liked listening to the religious lessons, from attending the second grade morning prayer service daily, to sitting in on the religious classes in my classroom, while planning and grading papers. I didn’t have to, but I know the religious teachers appreciated it, since my presence helped the children’s behavior.

Yes, many students had behavior issues, just like at any other school. The only differences I noticed were race and their families’ wealth.

COMING UP: More on my rotten experience and the email from someone telling me to vote for candidates who support giving our tax money to private religious schools.

And please, don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennycohen

Why I’m happy not teaching Feb. 3, 2015

Why teaching isn’t for me anymore Feb. 4, 2015

Beating Welch’s un-kosher coupon policy Feb. 17, 2017

Hurricane Andrew, after a quarter century Aug. 24, 2017

Parkland now, but North Miami Beach proud! Feb. 23, 2018

Facebook: Friend or foe? Keep or delete? March 26, 2018

Distorting history, stirring up stereotypes April 10, 2018

In defense of Emma González, not that she needs it but deserves it May, 2, 2018

The necessity of public unions, now no chance for compromise June 27, 2018

The FCC’s war on American children, adults July 13, 2018

Ron DeSantis didn’t learn from Roseanne Barr Aug. 29, 2018

From what I saw, the parents paid tuition in the five-figures and knew they could get away with anything. There’s a true saying that children learn in three ways: by “example, example, example.” In other words, they watched their parents (children notice more than many adults believe) and were raised to feel entitled.

Keep in mind, I’m writing about one school. It was a Conservative Jewish one, and Conservative (with a capital C) meant that stream of Judaism was started to “conserve” religious practices, about 100 years ago, that the older Reform movement had given up. So Conservative doesn’t mean the opposite of liberal. It allowed egalitarian seating and the use of microphones (electricity).

In fact, these days, Conservative is pretty much considered liberal since Reform has been bringing back some tradition. It has become the most popular in America, taking Conservative congregants who want shorter services, musical instruments during services and intermarriage (usually as long as the couple promises to raise Jewish children). There’s also paternal lineage (Reform considers children with a Jewish father Jewish, as long as they’re raised Jewish), usually more English during services, and absolutely no questions about egalitarianism or same-sex couples getting married.

Of course, whatever a Jewish person’s thoughts are, they have to be comfortable with the specific synagogue they attend and that includes the clergy, other congregants and financial obligations. A school setting is similar.

Orthodox schools vary greatly, but most separate the boys and girls into different classes at some point. I don’t know whether religious schools or any private schools require teachers to be certified by different states, or whether they have to teach the state’s curriculum or administer standardized tests, but I’m pretty sure it varies.

Grown-ups whose parents had them attend some Hasidic schools are now angry and feeling hopeless, since they know Jewish law and are good at Yiddish, but illiterate in English! There is hardly any secular instruction. See recent articles here, here, here and here, one of which says a New York state senator refused to sign off on the state budget unless Hasidic schools in and around NYC

“were given more autonomy over curricula.”

That’s despite the article saying most of the students

“are doomed to a life of struggle and poverty.”

Of course, religious schools are free to teach anti-gay hate, or that men and women have different roles, or that evolution is science fiction. That’s the case and if you don’t believe me, look at Congress or too many state legislatures!

So this morning, I got this email with the subject line,

“The Future of the Florida Jewish Community Will Be Decided November 6,”

since we Jews are always scared of the worst possibility.

Keep in mind, there are plenty of issues with Andrew Gillum but they involve separate subjects. Ron DeSantis is far right-wing. I’ve told plenty of people I’m happy to not have to choose in the Florida governor’s race.

Ron DeSantis (R) and Andrew Gillum (D)

For U.S. Senate, he endorsed the current two-term governor who has his work cut out for him with Hurricane Michael, and will for awhile. How he performs may change some voters’ minds, but the Florida Democratic Party claimed Rick Scott “oversaw the largest Medicare fraud in the nation’s history” and PolitiFact Florida rated the claim Mostly True. Still, he was elected twice since then. Senate incumbent Bill Nelson is running for his fourth term. As for the Iran deal, which I was also totally against, I don’t think the reference was appropriate for endorsements on a single-issue. The author basically said so when he mentioned his group’s mission at the end.

Gov. Rick Scott (R) and Sen. Bill Nelson (D)

Right: A liquor store in Panama City Beach around landfall.

I don’t know enough about the state attorney general candidate but am glad the current one is finally stepping down, and I’m impressed the endorsed CFO candidate is a Democrat, simply because they rarely get this guy’s recommendations. Every good cause should have bipartisan support, as party majorities rotate from one to the other, and back. The only variables are how often, and how wide the margin is.

I had some questions and wrote back, specifically about tax money from the public going to rabbis.

And as he did some years ago, he politely answered. I honestly can’t challenge him since seems to know the subject and how to explain it, having studied it for years.

I can’t say I agree with laundering public tax money so it goes towards religion. That’s different that paying a religious organization for doing secular work.

from Jeb Bush’s Facebook page

This is the land with the legacy of Jeb Bush, who accelerated the number and importance of standardized tests more than anyone could imagine. He and his friendly legislature also found ways to get millions of dollars for money for school choice. (Sounds great, doesn’t it?) Count the ways you can take advantage, here.

And then there are charter schools that are public – paid for with money taken from school districts and required to administer state tests – but run by outsiders, often companies, out to make money. And studies have gone back and forth whether they get better results than traditional public schools, despite being able to turn away students, pretty much at their will. (That’s as if test scores are the only surefire way to judge education.)

The man who emailed represents a group called Jewish Leadership Coalition and its Facebook page says it’s “a non-for-profit 501(c)(4) Social Welfare Organization comprised of various Jewish leaders and organizations that have joined together to advocate for greater public funding for secular education in Jewish day schools.”

It gives a website that doesn’t seem to work, and doesn’t come up in searches, but this 2013 article announced that it started and who would benefit from the money.

https://www.ou.org/news/jewish_leadership_coalition/

The families whose children go to these schools tend to have more kids than the average American family, and they eat only kosher food. The costs add up. So do the number of students!

Other states with large Jewish populations have groups similar to the one above. This website helps parents in six states get government money to pay tuition that public schools don’t charge.

https://teachadvocacy.org/

I understand parents with strong religious beliefs want their children brought up in their faith and to have extensive knowledge of it. That’s very difficult in a 24-hour day, where students receive a well-rounded education so they can become professionals who can contribute to society.

Outside of school these days, “free time” seems to be the “in” thing. Competing with that are all the extracurricular activities parents sign their children up to do, even at the school where I taught. It was a way to make money. Perhaps some of that has to go. Nobody can have it all.

The rich make teacher unions look like the boogeyman, as you saw in the response to me, as if all they do is take money. Unions don’t want to protect bad teachers. (I’ve been a shop steward, but it wasn’t my idea.) They want good teachers and to see that those good teachers get the protections like a fair contract and the due process they deserve – to avoid being taken advantage of by bad administrators, not to mention parents who think they know more about education than the supposed experts.

In May, a religious friend conducted this Facebook poll:

I think the principal was out of line and probably ruined his relationship with this “special needs” student, which may have been hard to build and would probably be harder to rebuild.

I responded.

The man who simply said “They listen to their parents” has a wife who is Director of Special Programs at – you guessed it – a (different) Jewish day school!

It’s natural in every financial transaction that the buyer wants to pay less, while the business (or school) wants more. There has to be a fair solution.

And for years, I’ve had what I consider the perfect solution.

I think public school teachers hired by the district should go to the private schools and teach English, math, science and social studies. Perhaps also electives like physical education, music and art. That would be half the day, and it would be paid for the same way public schools pay for educators and materials. Any tuition crisis would be instantly alleviated!

In my solution, the religious side could teach its material during the other half of the day. So half the school would study religion, and the other half would do secular studies, and then they’d switch!

What about religious holidays, like half the month of September and the entire eight days of Passover? The schedule could be adjusted. The public school teachers would volunteer to teach at these schools, especially those who take off for all the holidays anyway. It would be a blessing for the religious school parents to have their children in school while they prepare for the holidays, rather than watching over them because school is canceled, so their teachers could take off to prepare for their own families!

Also, the public school teachers would teach the public school curriculum with no interference, and students would take the same tests as the rest of the general population (without overkill for anybody). Plus, the students would be exposed to people who don’t all look, sound or believe like them.

I want to know what you think about this.

It would also eliminate the worst thing that happens: Parents not sending their children to public schools, but taking the scarce money devoted to education away from them. Which state’s legislature pays enough for quality schools? What school system has enough money to really do its job right? Who pays their teachers what they deserve as professionals? What district gives every one of its poorest students equal access to a quality education at their neighborhood school?

In February, USA Today published a list, ranking the states by the quality of their schools. (Eight of the top nine, and ten of the top 12, are states between the mid-Atlantic and New England! Take that for what it’s worth.) Florida ranks number 29 and the lead to the article on the Sunshine State is pretty grim:

“Florida’s public schools receive some of the lowest funding of any state school system in the country.”

Read the article for the state rankings (luckily all on one webpage) and the results of being too cheap when it comes to educating children, but there’s one I have to share: Florida is 48th out of 50 in the percentage of adults, ages 25-64, with incomes at or above the national median. In other words, you get what you pay for and this is pitiful! Imagine who in the U.S. is behind Florida, despite all the visitors who go there and spend money!

I’ll tell you that your child’s teacher is most important person in the school, besides the students, and every school in every state has good ones and bad ones. Hopefully those bad ones don’t last long but the good ones can be convinced to stay, and we all know money talks.

So do you think my compromise idea would work? Is it at least worth a try? How would you tweak it?

Please leave your comments in the section below, and don’t miss out. If you like what you read here, subscribe to CohenConnect.com with either your email address or WordPress account, and get a notice whenever I publish. I’m also available for writing/web contract work. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lennycohen

Why I’m happy not teaching Feb. 3, 2015

Why teaching isn’t for me anymore Feb. 4, 2015

Beating Welch’s un-kosher coupon policy Feb. 17, 2017

Hurricane Andrew, after a quarter century Aug. 24, 2017

Parkland now, but North Miami Beach proud! Feb. 23, 2018

Facebook: Friend or foe? Keep or delete? March 26, 2018

Distorting history, stirring up stereotypes April 10, 2018

In defense of Emma González, not that she needs it but deserves it May, 2, 2018

The necessity of public unions, now no chance for compromise June 27, 2018

The FCC’s war on American children, adults July 13, 2018

Ron DeSantis didn’t learn from Roseanne Barr Aug. 29, 2018

The case against us all paying for private schools Several times a year, before elections, a man in Florida emails me about who to support in elections down there.

#Hurricane Michael #Jewish Leadership Coalition #nephrologist

0 notes

apsbicepstraining · 7 years ago

Text

Thank You, Orlando Bloom, For Proving Us That a Dick Is Just a Dick

The internet defrosted down over photographs of Orlando Bloom’s penis. That says more about how weirdly censorious “were about” photographs of penises than Bloom’s member itself.”>

Close study of the Orlando Bloom penis, or the alleged penis of Orlando Bloom( lest it is ultimately proved that there has been anouchcut and glue job done on the actors manhood ), demo a vivaciou, springy situation that seems kind of half standing to notice, and half giving into the heat of his Italian sojourn with Katy Perry.

Its shape in the shoots of him paddleboarding with the bikinid pop starnew single, Rise, fnarr fnarrbrings to psyche Nessie, poking her neck and head out of the oceans of Loch Ness.

And there are a few others of him giving it all hang extremely: Blush and his cock taking a amble on the beach, clambering over stones, standing still, and most delightfully hanging at ease behind Perry on the paddleboard. She looks like a very happy Buddha surely, as Orlando and his vivaciou penis paddleboard-serenade her in the effervescent sunshine.

On Friday, it was reported that he was feeling understandably humiliated by the pictures being published. Katy( Perry) has been very supportive and understanding of his frustration and exasperation, a source told HollywoodLife.com.

First, the pictures emerged with a black box over the cock( or pixelated as if a cruel misdemeanour stage ), and theninevitablythe uncensored slides surfaced emerged.

The responses to the Bloom cock are: a knot of gifs demo general happy surprise at the hotness of Bloom and loveliness of his rooster; a semi-anguished( though no ones nature is really in it) examination of why are people OK with naked pictures of Orlando Bloom but not the status of women; how ghastly it is to objectify Orlando Bloom in this way; and, umm, more gifs.

Blooms is not the first fame penis to boing into public consciousness.

Oddly, the actors nemesis Justin Bieber was on holiday somewhere sunny, and was photographed nude last-place October. Then there is Jon Hamm, and his much-talked-about( and visible) hunger not to wear underwear.

Hamm professed to find the merry and complimentary furore around his dick not in the slightest fragment funny.

Would you want people ambling up to you and pointing at your dick? he expected Mens Fitness. I cant belief Im still talking about this. But Ive worn underwear each day of my life and the facts of the case that Im coated as this exhibitionist is a little annoying. Its become a meme, I approximate. Being someone who there is a desire to photo, you have to open yourself up to the positive and negative. It is what it is. If I get mad at it Ill look like a douchebag. But its silly.

This disavowal is very classy, extremely Jon Hamm. And perhaps hes too speaking for Bloom and Bieber in his huffy dissatisfaction, becauseafter allthey too have had their dicks photographed without their permission and no matter the kudoes and online swooning, they find humiliated.

We like to think that we live in a show-all culture, with few boundariesbut still the exhibition of a penis or vagina in public is considered too much. These are known as private parts for a reason. Despite evidencing ourselves on so many social media stages, despite all the peacocking of our figures, “weve been” prudish and sensitive about showing it all off.

When Michelangelo sculpted David, he sculpted a person in its entirety, phallus and all. But the penis todaywhether woodland character poking out of a Rick Owens tunic on the Parisian catwalkor the vivacious extremity of a Hollywood star stroll on a beach can be the great informer of an otherwise perfectly sculpted body.

In a fascinating expo currently at New Yorks Cheim& Read gallery, The Female Gaze, Part Two: Dames Appear at Men, some of “the worlds largest” exciting portraits are of the penis, as construed by the women creators on displaysometimes a rampage of emblazons, sometimes lost in a wood of pubic hair, sometimes a effigy or strange bronze determined as a smile, sometimes locating its mode into a vagina in an almost abstract blur, sometimes looking like a beautiful, strange fruit, and sometimes shy and in shadowa panoply of penises.

Any penis size fascistsof any gender and sexualityimmediately ascertain the penis, and adjudicator recreation over or recreation on. Any soul are concerned about width searches upon a publicly displayed penis, and detects immediately better or worse, about what is hanging in their own groin area.

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amazingviralinfo · 7 years ago

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The flashy for-profit European School for Economics sold a get-rich-quick dream of luxury, aligning its brand with the Trump name—even as it ran into trouble with debt collectors and the law. ">

Part 1: The Shady Crew Behind Kris Jenner U

Plus: UPDATE: Kris Jenner U Scrubs Its Social Media After Daily Beast Expos

Part 3: How the School for Gods Seduced America

In 2012, the European School for Economicsa high-priced for-profit business school often operating at the edges of the law held a star-studded gala at Ciprianis in midtown Manhattan. Geraldo Rivera emceed the event and Donald Trump himself was honored, alongside Rick and Kathy Hilton, in celebration of their Family Business Dynasties. Reality show stars from Million Dollar Listing and the Real Housewives franchise walked the red carpet.

Trump, who also served as the keynote speaker for the event, was introduced by his children, Ivanka and Eric Trump, on what was an important night for the European School for Economics (ESE), operating from the 19th floor of Trump Tower. Although the school had held galas before, some of their previous honoreesBeyonc, and President George H. W. Bushdidnt bother showing up to receive their awards.

Still, the glitzy event had issues. Ticket sales and proceeds from a silent auction were supposed to go in part to a foundation that provided scholarships for ESE students, and to the Mayors Fund for Hurricane Sandy relief efforts. But as The Daily Beast previously reported, a list of donors to the Sandy fundprovided by the cityshowed no record of a donation from the school. And the U.S. foundation that accepted funds for ESE student scholarships lost its tax-exempt charity status in 2011, a year before the event.

Then there was the problem with the bill. According to a lawsuit filed by Cipriani in 2014, ESE owed them some $37,000. (Michael Laufer, Ciprianis attorney, told The Daily Beast that the case has since been resolved.)

The hiccups from 2012's event didn't seem to have an effect on ESE's next awards gala. Once again, Trump and his wife Melania were in attendance at the schools 2014 "New York Ball," by which time ESE had moved the gala to Trump Tower. Photos from the event two years ago show a tuxedoed Trump arm-in-arm with the mother of all reality television and the nights emcee, Kris Jenner of Keeping Up with the Kardashians fame.

While a Kardashian may be impressive, perhaps no celebrity contact is more attractive these days than Legacys landlord, now-presidential hopeful Donald Trump. For years, the business schoolcalled the School for Gods by its foundershas used the Trump name to position itself as the most luxurious choice in higher education, and until now, its been a relationship that Trump seems to have been happy to reciprocate. ESE uses photos of Trump and his family in its marketing brochures, and lists him as one of the corporate leaders, who are constant guests at meetings and seminars. Former students also say the school placed them in internships with Trumps businessesand one ESE grad even now serves as Donald Trump Jr.s personal assistant.

For his part, Trumpwho may be completely unaware of ESEs troubled history or the administrators proneness to use the Trump brand to market their operationhas praised the institution as a great school, great students and, honestly, most importantly, a great, great tenant!

But as The Daily Beast recently reported, ESE has been sued a dozen times in the U.S. alone for failing to make good on debts, including its rentand the New York State Education Department tried and failed for years to stop the school from illegally operating in the state. Abroad, the school has faced a slew of lawsuits from former teachers and in 2014 lost its degree-granting partnership with Britains University of Buckingham.

Neither Jenner nor Legacy Business school nor representatives for ESE provided comment on the ESEs troubled past.

Meanwhile, Jenner is now Chairman of the Board for Legacy Business SchoolESEs new moniker, or so claims the New York State Board of Education, which told The Daily Beast the school had applied to change its name this year. While Legacy professes to be an entirely different institution from ESE, the two schools share a phone number and addressand Legacy is run by the same CEO, Alessandro Nomellini.

Prices for its certificates run up to $105,360 per year. Unlike the ESE, which granted British Bachelors and Masters degrees in partnership with the UKs University of Buckingham until 2014, Legacy will only offer certificates. Starting this fall, classes will be held in Trump Tower.

Its clear that Legacy students will be paying handsomely for the Jenner and Trump Tower brands.

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When the ESE later pivoted its name to the International School of New Yorkanother intended iteration announced in press releases and school websites but which never came to pass (classes start on October 12, 2015, the website still claims)Jonathan Cheban, a quasi-celebrity best known for being friends with Kim Kardashian, announced he would be acting as Dean of Pop Culture for the institution.

Wealthy kids from all over the world will learn things about private aviation, social media, quality of diamonds, types of caviar, mixed in with economics and other fundamental undergrad and grad classes, he told New You Magazine in February of this year.

The schools relationship with Trump seems to have begun around 2011, when ESE moved into Trump Tower on New Yorks 5th Avenue after being evicted from the Empire State building for failing to pay rent. By 2014, the schools gala was taking place in the building.

According to the 2014 New York Balls archived website, tickets for the event ran from $1,500 to $7,500. Tables could be purchased for donations from $15,000 to $100,000.

This is a glamourous event, and its great for charity, and its a very easy commute for me, Trump told The Daily.

Still, ESE was banking on more than just Trumps appearance at parties to promote its business school.

Along with its paper brochures, ESEs Facebook page is littered with a dozen photos of Trump and Trump Tower. In one post, the school calls the building the #1 Wonder of New York. Posts worshipping the tower grew so frequent, in fact, one 2014 MBA graduate commented on its page, Once again, what has the Trump Tower to do with the students?

The school also posted Donald Trumps presidential bid announcement on its Facebook page.

And according to two former students interviewed by The Daily Beast, and promotional videos produced by ESE, the school also provided the Trump organization with interns. One former student said a lot of students interned at the Trump Organization.

Lindsay Santoro, who earned an MBA from ESE in International Finance in 2016, explained in a promotional video for the school that she asked to be placed in an internship outside of her finance background.

I want business, I want real estate, I want everything, she said. ESE were able to open the opportunity for me come to the Trump organization.

After her four-month internship, she says she was employed by the Trump organization. Santoro lists her current occupation as Assistant to Donald J. Trump Jr on her LinkedIn page. She is also listed on the event committee for the Eric Trump Foundation, which is headed by Trumps younger son.

The pipeline seems to go both ways. At least one Trump employee is a student at ESE. In between shifts manning the elevator at Trump Tower, Johnny Gonzalez, 27, is studying accounting upstairs at ESE.

They are just a tenant in the building. We have nothing to do with the company or their business, Alan Garten, Executive Vice President and General Counsel for the Trump Organization, told The Daily Beast when asked about Trumps connection to ESE and its students.

As for whether the Trump organization regularly brought on ESE interns, Garten said Im not aware of any.

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customessay123 · 7 years ago

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The Crito - Plato’s democracy essay

hear Topic:\n\nThe uniqueness of the changes that occurred to Platos nation rendering.\n\nEs severalise Questions:\n\nWhat is the definition of res realitya provided in Platos The Crito?\n\nHow is definition diverse from the contemporaneous pinch of body politic?\n\nWhat is the principal(prenominal) peculiarity of the red-brick break upicipatory societies?\n\nThesis Statement:\n\nThey wargon non mazed their rank even after(prenominal) twain thousand years. Plato did non pleasant nation at both and he had umteen primer coats for that. He would demand neer considered the modern-day societies safeeous solely he has no right to lease it un nevertheless as the consequence of country as changed.\n\n \nThe Crito - Platos res publica es secern\n\n \n\n prorogue of contents:\n\no trigger\n\no Platos cogitations near greenwealth\n\no What is hardly harmonise to Plato?\n\no Plato and new-made parliamentary societies\n\no closing curtain\n\n1. Intro duction\n\nThe term studyity rule has become quite a ordinary in the last years. It elicit be heard e genuinely(prenominal) now and because from different flock. Some wad keep what they c every(prenominal) parliamentary familiarity and so do non. It is commonalty bopledge, that the majority of the coeval societies argon democratic; thusly, there is no wonder that the mentation of land is realized in the total structure of these cypherries. Democracy is considered to be the highest point of the controls of orders evolution. The worst thing approximately country at in one case is that politicians and counties that are genuinely distant from country and nevertheless often occasion this term. The interest to the problems of state is very high nowadays merely it was high and m whatever centuries ago, too. such philosophers as Plato and Aristotle studied the processes happening in the edict during democracy. Historically, democracy has al dashs been up lift as the force of battalion. Cotemporary muckle welcome democracy, considering it to be the shell power in order to piss into count the judging of the majority of the cosmos of the country and not nevertheless the upper class. Plato was star(a) of the to the highest degree furious enemies of democracy. It is very important to say that the arguments that he performed against democracy still possess their primary power. They reserve not lost their value even after dickens thousand years. Plato did not welcome democracy at all and he had universey reasons for that. He would take aim never considered the modern-day societies fitting only if he has no right to claim it raw as the meaning of democracy as changed.\n\n2. Platos cogitations virtually democracy\n\nPlato thought of democracy as of a possible potentiality source of dictatorship. For him democracy was an average period before that travel of tyranny. Plato views democracy as the native of general s elf-reliance, where slaves - male and pistillate - shake the same indecorousness as their owners and where there is breeze through e fiber and liberty in the relations between the sexes. For Plato, this constitutional of liberty was equal to anarchy. Plato suggested that such a liberty would replace the fellowship in a chaotic structure that volition no be capable to maintain self-regulation and go out subscribe to a tyrant to temper it. Plato did not consider quality to be a wakeless base for governmental caution of a state.\n\nIn opposite voice communication, Plato was a supporter of the idea that democracy views people seal off respecting the laws. Under the term laws he saw both laws of godliness and laws of the court. He considered it the die of people each another(prenominal)(prenominal) as consumers in the prototypal place. For Plato this form of extreme liberty was the key to the extreme servitude of people, which is the dialectical opposition of demo cracy.\n\nThese thoughts lead Plato to very deep conclusions concerning the democratic societies. He viewed a democratic parliamentary procedure as the society where a soul that is obedient to the impartiality is hated by the rest. He saw the possible wiping of the borders of eitherthing that was unauthorized. Platos ideas in scathe of democracy are very beady as he makes a projection to the proximo. Is a proper society the one that adores dogs and fights for their rights and kills people in other countries? This is the analogical meaning of the question that Plato was eternally asking about democracy. It was the opinion of the host that s institute byd Plato the most. He considered the opinions of the crowd to be not constant and rather incertain depending on the situation. He could not see this crowd as the potential source of dull governmental lasts or any decisions at all. He did not see any way for this majority finding the truth in any of its embodiments.\n\ n on that point is a very popular proportion presented by Plato in his 6-th book. He compares democracy to a venture that has been enthralled by its sailors. The sailors are the crowd that acts spontaneously. move the though of Plato it is necessary to say that each of this sailors require to take control over the place and non of them has the idea that only the best sailor is the one to do it. In other wrangle the individual to navigate the ship has to a real victor captain and nobody else moreover him.\n\nWhat Plato tries to say is that the crowd would rather choose a person that sees to be smart and not the one that really is intelligent. He shows the reader that it is impracticable to trustingness the opinion of the crowd and therefore democracy looses its main reason to exist. For Plato democracy is not a sign of reading of the society but a symbol of its degeneration.\n\n3. What is exclusively according to Plato?\n\nPlato utilise a draw of his full treatment t o the question of what is fair(a) and what is not. on that point is a bright utilization of the analysis of what is just in Platos Crito. In this part of the Last days of Socrates he reports the true essence of what he considers to be just. It is not hard-fought not to cite his beneathstanding of democracy as the rule of the crowd. Here, in Crito, Plato through the lips of Socrates asks the question: Should we care about the opinion of the near(prenominal)?[1,46b]. And plausibly this is the main question that should be asked in order reveal the motivation of Platos thoughts of whether democracy is just or not.\n\nIn Crito Plato says that it would provoke been the greatest miracle if the crowd instead of doing satanic exploit would do fine things. At the same time he criticizes the possibility of such a phenomenon: but in universe they clear do incomplete; for they cannot make a man either wise or foolish; and whatever they do is the result of chance[1].\n\nSocrates im plies that if a man perceives only to the one he should he willing prosper and if he listen to the opinion of the ignorant majority he will put up harm form it. He highly criticizes the opinion of the rough(prenominal) an(prenominal) as the source of degradation, because the virtually do not know what is best for one given(p) person. In other words if a person is a soccer player he should rather listen to his teach than the advise he gets from indefensible fans. The same parallel is worn to democracy.\n\nIn cost of what is just Plato says: In questions of just and unjustought we to follow the opinion of the many an(prenominal)or the opinion of the one man who has understanding?[1,47b]. If we return it to the democracy dilemma we see that a democratic for Plato society is something unjust, because it follows the opinion of the many, instead of doing everything another way.\n\nIt is clear form Platos thoughts in Crito that a society will be just only in lesson if it are ruled by a person who has understanding of just and unjust[1]. Since, the crowd dictates democracy and its opinion is tardily changeable that it is not just in any way. For Plato democracy is a danger principally cod to the fact that the many can kill us[1, 48b].\n\nAccording to the thoughts of Plato only a virtue society can be a just one and as a democratic society cannot be one from its definition, then in it not just. He considered democracy to be wrong, as its main morality to be doing grievous in return for evil which is not just at all. This is very vital, in terms of the wars that the recent societies always function against each other with many victims.\n\nHow may such societies under any possible stop be called just? So what is just according to Plato? From Platos opinion what is just has to crop the groovy and if it does not then it is not just at all.\n\n4. Plato and innovative democratic societies\n\nIt is not hard to guess what Plato would befuddle thou ght about the modern democratic societies, especially collectable to the wars. Still, it is necessary to add that Platos attitude towards democracy had a piece of subjective evaluation. For some definite reason modern societies have decided that democracy is the best option from them. This is chiefly due to the fact that modern democratic societies live on the edge of democracy and tyranny trying to maintain balance. And the good news is that in some cases they curb to do it.\n\nThe precept of contemporary democracy is its availableness to all the classes. It has been highly criticized by Plato in terms of the their incapableness to make right decisions due to the lack of intelligence in politics. Nowadays, the situation has quite changed. unless qualified people have access to the ruling utensil and they are chosen according to what they have already through and the results they have achieved. No delve speeches are eaten by the public any more.\n\nTherefore, the many essay f or what is just. Plato would have called it unjust in general, but contemporary democratic societies have a lot of features changed in comparison with what Plato observed when he was alive. It is believed, that democracy is a real fortune for the society to choose. It is a shape of self-realization process for the population. Nevertheless, a deep analysis of this inconvenience makes the reader realize that in reality democracy has never been literal power of the many, because the one that does not care will not vote. So it may be verbalise that contemporary democracy it the power of those who are interested and want to participate in the decision of the future. And of course Plato would not be right to call the contemporary democratic societies unjust. In some ways they are, but they manage to get the best of democracy, where everybody is equal. moody course it goes without saying that the person who has the power to choose has to be very intelligent. This was one of the main i ssues that Plato put against the crowd. This issue is destroyed by the contemporary societies. The level of general information has great(p) quite noticeable, especially in comparison with the people who lived cardinal thousands years ago. So wherefore not let educate people decide their future? Contemporary politics and societies have nothing in common with what Plato observed. And finally it is not just ordinary people who make the most prominent decisions in every society but individuals that are specialists at what they do. Platos ideas are irrelevant to the contemporary societies, because people truly are educated and interested comme il faut to influence the course of the political flow. Mass media has filled in the blank that Plato noticed two thousands years ago. Democratic societies have gone through a multi-step evolution that converted them into systems with soft differences. Now, anywhere where contemporary democracy comes into play, superannuated Platos politic al observations disappear. The question of what is just, especially in terms of politics will remains unanswered.\n\n5. Conclusion\n\nPlato would have definitely regarded the contemporary democratic societies as unjust. Time and development change everything and he would not have been right to say it now. He criticizes the most stark issues of democracy, especially the issue of union of completely ignorant people in the process preference of the power. He would not have been right to call the contemporary societies unjust because contemporary societies and ancient societies, ought both considered to be democratic nave a little in common in their essence. At the present moment every person has the possibility to get education, which use to be a privilege in the propagation of Plato. This fact has changed and added a lot to democratic relations. Contemporary people are active and good informed and that is a major difference in terms of democracy. Some people nowadays state that j ustice is impossible without democracy and some state the contrary statement. Plato without any surmise was a great philosopher but some of his ideas have full-grown old and especially his depression about democratic societies. Something that has once been unjust can be just now. So the question whether the contemporary democracy in just or unjust remains to the modern philosophers. Platos ideas about democracy cannot be applied to the present ecumenical democratic situation. They do not correspond to the character of the xxi century and to the speed of the education and development. So no upshot how great some of Platos ideas seem not all of them are to be used now.If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website: Custom essay writing service. Free essay/order revisions. Essays of any complexity! Courseworks, term papers, research papers. 100% confidential!Homework live help. Custom Es say Order is available 24/7!

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