#im still mad and its been like three days i think??
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strated writing and gave up on 2 separate posts basically just yelling about how mad it makes me that n24 is so misunderstood and accomodations are so unavailable. MAN
#.pdf#rd#theyre in my drafts now so i can look at them later and get mad again probably#“what do you mean you need to sleep more its one in the afternoon” ya and i went to bed at 9 in the morning fuck offfffff#im not waking you up at 3am just cos thats when im awake and energized goddamn#also been told “you just need to get up and come do work for like three hours every morning to get your body back on track”#(by my dad whose office i informally work at. to clarify the work part of that)#and its like. i think youre not understanding how bad of an idea that is. when i was still in school i almost fell asleep while driving once#when i push myself to be awake when my body needs sleep i start to be in physical pain. god. is it SO horrible of me to want to avoid that#i mean i feel like if it hurts thats probably my body saying Hey dont fucking do that! and the supposed moral and societal value of being-#-awake during the fucking day is not more important than my health!!!!!!!! GODDD#i just wanna live my life in relative peace and get decent sleep sometimes#n24
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I genuinely can never thank you enough for the past year. I can't express how much it's meant to me to be understood and have my energy reciprocated with someone on the same wavelength. Although I've been in the fandom for quite a bit longer than most people writing in, and longer than you, even, I can't remember the last time I felt this welcome and motivated. A TRULY embarrassing amount of my work's just been fueled by "oh Snap's gonna wanna see that," and of course that circle's expanded since then, but it probably wouldn't have had I not met stream chat through you, aaaaaand if I'm honest you're still up there... lol...
It's always, always a highlight of my day to see your your work, your posts, and your responses, whether they're to me or to others, and it's always a highlight of my week to be able to make it to streams! You're a huge inspiration for me, particularly in terms of your work ethic across the board. I always come out of streams energized and feeling like I can actually finish things, and usually this is hubris, but it's gotta count for something.
Not to be dramatic, but you kinda changed my life, no exaggeration. I still really can't see myself the way I was two or three years ago not just calling it quits after some of my Gaiden experiences... lol... but I'm still around, and like always, I wanna be able to write in and interact as much as I used to sometime soon. Thanks for everything! I hope RGGS continues to deliver so we can stay in touch :3
i cant thank YOOOOU enough for the past Xsome months or so. feelins ABSOLUTELY mutual in that i wasnt sure anyone else would really be into talkin bout rgg as you and i have (or would be willing to read my. miles-long scrolls of bullshit LMAO) so it's been real fun gettin to know you an everyone and chattin !!
most bafflin thin to ever to think i have good work ethic, i feel like ive been behind everyone for the past couple weeks and even with the things i do make it's really not up to snuff. it's always nice to hear that's not supposedly exactly the case :) I Suppose :^)
rgg community (like any community lbr) can be. An Experience, esp for someone with a position like yours. so im glad i can make it worth to hang around somewhat LOL
regardless, i always look forward to you next ask or the next time you leave tags on a post i make. if i ever bother making a post again ☠️☠️
#fave#snap chats#I DID SIT ON THIS ALL DAY OOPS#i got a bit busy with some stuff...... also i always try my best to write a sufficient response cause ill feel bad if i dont </3#mad funny youre stoked for me to see stuff And I Am Always Stoked To See Stuff cause i got a similar sentiment towards you#i mean i TRYYYY not to get too in my head bout it since then i get paranoid but i always do hope on the downlow like#'ah man. hope this is funny. hope masu likes it. hope im shot for this one' VERY NORMAL things to want :)#so funny tho. funny timin of this ask i feel like ive been disappointin people an particularly yous#which 'snap that doesnt make sense please be happy with yourself for three seconds' which. NO?? no. impossible#but i do get worried im disappointing or being too annoying or yk. just being a pest or not being adequate#so it's fun/ny gettin this ask today all that considered LOL#I MEAN I KNOW EVERYONE BEEN NICE THE PAST DAY OR SO YK SO NO REASON TO THINK IT#i cant avoid thinkin a it... my number one bully is myself he Will Not leave me alone no matter how hard i try to complain to the board#the board also bein myself. i cant excommunicate myself from myself--#REGARDLESS. very cool that i give you motivation :) esp after streams :)#every time i finish a stream i feel like i made an ass out of myself. ALWAYS HAVE FUN. but i feel at the cost of bein obnoxious#tho i guess theres no point stayin round if i was. lest its like Last Resort kinda deal then TRULY i am sorry im The Last Resort#ILL STOP WHINING FOR FIVE SECONDS TO SAY thank you :) for everythin :) both just chattin with me an all the work you do for the community#it truly is a lot and indescribable and its very cool i have someone like that who likes what i do. you do be the beyonce in walmart to me#to reference that post i rb'd last night LOL its still hard for me to understand but ig i dont have to understand it#i think i mentioned this before but i remember when id draw for persona (cringe ik) id mostly draw adachi (this is relevant Trust)#and this one mate one day was just 'snap its really nice how much. love you bring to the adachi community'#which is a hilarious thing to say since adachi sucks but POINT IS im glad i. i THINK im kinda doing the same thing now still#thats the consensus ive gotten the past couple asks.. lol.. its nice bringin people together and havin a fun and welcomin space :)#ILL WRAP IT UP HERE THO before i make people throw up. i kept this ask hoarded long nuff.. ill just hoard it in my chest cavity instead#once more thank you forever and always :) when we inevitability branch off to other things i'll always treasure all you've done for me
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this assay is so fucking fake......
#same one ive been working on for like 3 months. every other assay ive trained on took me a couple goes to get but ive done this one ~45x#and i keep getting 2 good runs and then 1 fail. which SUCKS bc i need 3 passes in a row to sign off on it#and its so sensitive that changing even tiny things like using a different brand same volume beaker. or a 0.5cm longer flea#anyway i had another 2 good runs this week so this was my 3rd but bc its a friday afternoon im tired as fuck and keep making dumb mistakes#like overstirring it + one of my samples leaked which is soooo embarrassing bc ive already had to ask for more before bc its taken me-#almost 50 fucking attempts already#anyway. hour and a half into prep and im at the most crucial time sensitive part which is pipetting thr enzyme into the substrate#and i manage to do it all w even time spacing (u have to replicate the exact same pace at the end of the timer or it doesnt work)#and then realise id picked up a different identical model pipette that was set to half the volume i was meant to put in FUUUUCK#by that point i was like fuck it im almost 2 hours in and nothing else to do the rest of the day. so ill work around it + see what happens#i figured well its half the volume. so if i add the same half volume again at the 5 minute mark and leave it for 12.5 instead of 10 mins#then itll hydrolyse the substrate to the same degree. IN THEORY in practice this stuff never works bc of error margins etc#bearing in mind this js like 30 seconds of thought bc it took me a couple mins to realise what i did#but the thing abt working in a lab is u make these split second decisions constantly bc everything is so time sensitive#so u have to be quick thinking on ur feet#anyway long story short got to the end of the 3 hour process. which i was carrying out v sloppily bc the chances of it working were-#slim by that point lmao. but lo and behold it was completely fucking fine. all cvs less than 5% and averages <5% of spec#which is awesome bc it means after THREE MONTHS and like. 45x3 whats that AT LEAST 135 HOURS OF FOCUSED TIME ON IT#not counting attempts i gave up on halfway thru bc id alreaady fucked them up bad#i can FINALLY sign off on it lmfao. but im just so mad like why does it play these mind games with me. it shouldnt have worked#whatever chemistry is such a fickle stupid science. anyway wahoo weekend time baby#gorgeous weather here + im gonna get pizza on the way home...... maybe life doesnt suck sometimes 😇#mutuals if ur still at work stay strong soldiers#.diaries
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#i had the worst fucking nightmare yesterday when i took a nap and i havent slept since 😣#it technically wasnt all bad but it was one of those lucid dream situations and ive been groggy ever since (but cant! fuckigng sleep!)#and then i was studying but i think im getting burnt out bc i cant fucking concentrate bc im so fucking stupid and i#keep getting practice questions wrong and my test is in TWO WEEKS and i know NOTHING even tho ive been studying for so long#i feel so hopeless like i genuinely think im gonna fail and that scares the shit out of me bc what the FUCK am i gonna do then#that shit would be so embarrassing like that will just confirm what i already know that im a dumbass piece of shit loser 😭#like i lowkey broke down a few hours ago bc i genuinely think im just plain fucking stupid! like Not Smart like fucking can barely read#like one question will take me like two minutes bc i have to read that shit two or three times to process whatever the fuck its saying#thats so fucking embarrassing i feel like a fucking failure lmao#and the thing is im trying my best im just dumb as a brick fr#like how tf u study over five hours a day and still on some 56% bullshit 😭#and everyone is saying im gonna pass bc i study so much but!! i get almost half the questions WRONG that is NOT a good sign#no but fr if i fail idk whats gonna happen i dont think i'll get kicked out but i know everyone's gonna be mad at me#and im gonna be in a dark place for a while and i'll have no one to blame but myself#just like the last time i failed at something#ignore me#i just needed to vent
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mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
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daydreamin' and i'm thinking of you - j.m.
summary: jj returns from a day of surfing and devotes his night to you and a lil bit of weed.
word count: 2.3k
warnings: smoking weed, a lil suggestive, but mostly super fluffy and full of sweetness
author's note: back from the dead pookies!!! i just wanna say how incredibly grateful that none of yall have come for my wishy-washy ass! this year has been vcery hectic and rough, and i am so thankful y'all have let me be MIA. here's this little blurb smooch ily (i was too scared to flesh out the smut at the end IM SORRY ITS BEEN A WHILE)
JJ smells like a perfect, heady blend of sunscreen and salt when he and the boys get back from surfing. You’re waiting on the porch like a little 1950’s wife, and he runs up and hugs you as soon as he gets out of the Twinkie, acting like its been months since he’s seen you instead of a few hours.
“J!” You’re giggling as he swings you around, smacking loud kisses all over your face and neck.
“Missed ya, pretty girl,” he murmurs into your neck.
John B slaps JJ’s back, surprising him so he lets go of you. “You literally just saw each other.”
JJ’s jaw drops, hand over his heart like he’s been deeply wounded. “You’re just mad your woman isn’t out here to greet you,” he counters, squeezing your side and giving John B a sympathetic look.
“Wrong!’ Sarah says as she pushes open the screen door, giving her boyfriend an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek.
John B grins back at JJ, and follows Sarah back inside.
“You still up for that boat date later?” you ask, fingers intertwining with his.
You swear his eyes sparkle. “Um, duh!”
A few hours later, the sun is sinking into the horizon, sky turning the prettiest pink and orange. You are toting a basket full of picnic supplies: a tupperware full of elote salad, another with some grilled chicken, a speaker, and of course, a little cellophane baggie and some rolling papers. JJ’s job is to carry the fishing poles and bait (raw hot-dogs because why would he spend money on crickets when there’s hot dogs in the fridge?), and the six-pack of mini Dr. Peppers you’ll split (JJ will inevitably drink two of your three).
“Where are you going?” You hear someone call from inside the house, but both of you act like you can’t hear it.
HMS Pogue is sitting pretty at the end of the dock, and you practically skip onto it. The rev of the engine is like the call of an old friend, thrumming through you, bare feet on the deck.
You sit cross legged at the bow while JJ drives, your hair flowing behind you. The spray of freshwater is perfectly refreshing.
It’s dusk when the boat reaches a little secluded spot on the marsh, and JJ announces it. “Gorgeous,” he says, the sky purple above him. “And no one around for miles.” He plops next to you, sticking his nose in your neck and sighing. You’re sitting pretty in a bikini top and jean shorts, and he plays with the tie at your back.
You laugh and push him off, getting up to get your basket of food. He helps you unload it, mouthing a silent yes as he pulls out the sodas. Then comes the tupperware, and he sticks two spoons into the corn. “Cheers.” He holds his out.
You tap your spoon against his, and gasp in fake shock when he knocks the food of it.
“Gotta be ready, babe,” he deadpans, snatching up your bite after he eats his. “Danger is waiting at every turn.”
You shake your head and laugh, scooting the tupperware closer to yourself. “You’re so weird.”
“You love it,” He grins, and you can’t argue with that.
After you eat, JJ pulls out the package of hotdogs and starts to prep the rods.
“There’s no way you can catch fish with those,” you question, wrinkling your nose at them. You frown, turning on the puppy-dog eyes. “Do we have to fish? I wanna smoke.”
He copies your expression and sticks his bottom lip out. “Poor bunny,” he mocks, but shoves your fishing pole in your hand all the same. “Catch a fish, I’ll roll you a joint, ‘kay?”
You sigh. “ ‘Kay,”
He grins and plants a kiss on your forehead. “You got it, babe.” He gives you a chunk of hotdog and you slip it onto the hook. JJ comes up behind you to guide your cast and you let him, his breath warm on the back of your neck. There’s the whir of the line, and the satisfying plop of the bobber in the water.
“Now, we wait.” He takes the rod from you and drops it into the holder, and works on casting his own line.
You’re bored before he even puts his down. “I have to catch a fish before we smoke?”
“Yeah, crybaby.” The two of you sit on the bow, feet dangling over the water. His ankle knocks against yours.
You let out another dramatic sigh, but you let your head fall onto his shoulder. “This is the worst part. I hate waiting.”
JJ laughs. “Yeah, honey. I am well aware.” He pokes your side, and you yelp dramatically. Reaching over you, he pulls the speaker out of your basket, and turns it on. You watch as he connects to it and goes through his spotify, thumb skimming over the screen as he looks through his playlists. JJ clicks on one of your collaborative playlists, titled “songs for slow dancing.”
He stands up, reaching out to pull you up as the hauntingly pretty piano intro for Aretha Franklin’s Daydreaming begins to play. “Wanna kill some time?”
You smile, and let him pull you into him. You think you could slow dance with him until you dropped dead, until you collapsed into each other and turned into intertwined fossils. Maybe that kind of thing is a little too poetic for the two of you, but you don’t really care. He starts to sing along, and you press your ear to his chest to hear his voice thrum through his chest.
daydreaming and i’m thinking of you, daydreaming and i’m thinking of you…
One of his hands splays on the small of your back, fingertips sneaked under the waist of your shorts, callused and all too soft. The other one is holding yours as you sway back and forth to the beat.He twirls you out fast, and back into his grip, your back to his chest as he squeezes you.
No one would ever know it, but JJ absolutely loves to dance. A little after you started dating, you dragged him to some swing dancing classes at the community center, and expected plenty of pushback, but you were met with absolutely none. The two of you fell in love stepping on each others toes and falling all over each other. It’s always a fun party trick to pull out at the fancier parties. He’s always wanting to dance with you, whether it’s learning how to shag in the living room late at night, or spinning you around on the boat.
He stops you mid-step, asking, “Can we try the dirty-dancing jump?”
The dirty-dancing jump has only been successfully executed by the two of you once. All other times have ended in someone being injured (usually JJ). Your jaw drops open, and you lightly shove him. “Absolutely not! You wanna fall off the boat?”
He gives you the biggest eyeroll, but immediately switches to puppy dog eyes when you cross your arms. “Just like, a lift? Pleaseeeee,” he drags out, taking your hands and acting like he’s going limp.
“Fine! But if you drop me in this water, I’m actually going to have serious beef with you, Maybank.”
He laughs, maybe an itty-bit manaically, and grabs your waist. “Okay, I’m gonna count you off, and you’ll jump, ‘kay? So, one, two, three-”
You hear your fishing rod rattle in its holder and jump away from him. “My line!” Scrambling after it, you grab the pole right as it looks like it’s going to leap out of its holster.
“Get it babe!” JJ practically shouts, darting behind you and placing his arms around yours to give you a little support.
The whir of the line rushing out makes you jump, and you hurry to start reeling it back in, furiously turning the handle. JJ’s mouth is by your ear as you lean into him and he talks you up as you fight the fish. “Come on, baby, you got it. Keep going, keep going, you almost got it!”
He’s pulling half the weight, you know that, but you don’t mind the help when you can watch the cords in his forearms tense and pull.
Finally, the line leaps out of the water, and soon a big scaly body is flopping on the deck of the boat. “Atta girl!” JJ shouts as you snatch it up by the lure, holding it up proudly. It’s pretty heavy, probably a little over 14 pounds.
“Look at that, baby! Got yourself a bluefish.” JJ is smiling so proudly as he fishes out his phone, and makes you pose for a picture like one of those Tinder frat guys. The flash is harsh and you know you look crazy, but he grins at the picture all the same.
“Can you throw him back in? He’s too pretty to eat,” you ask as he messes with something on his phone. You’re still holding the fish as you try to lean over and see what he’s doing.
“Here, yeah.” He drops his phone on the boat deck and takes the fish from you to fling back in. When you look at his phone, you see your face staring back up at you from his lockscreen. It was some picture of the two of you from a party, but now it’s you and your fish. He immediately changed his wallpaper after he took the picture. In your opinion, it’s definitely not a knockout photo, but you almost tear up at the sweetness of it.
“You looked cute,” JJ shrugs, seeing you looking at it.
You just smile, shaking your head, and lean against him. “Can we get high now?”
“Damn, you waste no time, huh?”
Soon, your fishing rods forgotten, you’re watching JJ roll you a joint to share. His fingers dance along the rolling paper, tucking and smoothing all gentle. He’s mesmerizing. When his tongue darts out to wet the paper, you swear you start salivating.
He catches you staring, hitting you with that heartbreaker grin again. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Shut up and light up,” you sigh, reaching for the blunt in his hands.
“Can’t light up if you don’t hand me my lighter,” JJ frowns, expression sarcastic. He puts his hand out, waiting.
You reach into your basket and pull it out, smiling when you see it. A few months ago, you had decided to buy JJ a custom lighter. You got him one off Etsy, a cheap Bic lighter with your face printed on the plastic. Of course, the image didn’t translate correctly, so the picture is heavily distorted, your smile big and wide and eyes even bigger.
It’s probably his favorite possession.
He lights the joint, letting it smoke for a second before raising it to his lips.
“Hey,” you whine, reaching for his hand.
“So needy,” he chides, taking a hit, gripping you by your neck, and blowing the smoke into your open mouth. Your breath hitches as you try your best to inhale, try to not think about his lips just ghosting over yours, his calloused fingers hard on the sides of your neck.
“Good girl,” he exhales as you successfully breathe in without hacking up your lungs.
The frogs are peeping and the wind is slow and soft, pushing the smoke around the two of you and enveloping you in it. You’re talking mindlessly as the joint passes between you, staring at the way moonlight shines through JJ’s hair, turning it platinum. His irises catch the light just right- bright, icy blue.
You’re sitting cross-legged, knees knocking with his. All you can think about his how much you love your boyfriend, even with the edges of your mind soft and your senses fuzzy. JJ takes your hand, pressing the pads of your fingertips against his.
“It’s like I can feel your fingerprints,” he comments, fingertips lightly rubbing yours. He pulls your hand as he leans back, so you’re both on your back, looking at the stars.
“It’s so pretty,” you whisper in awe. With absolutely zero light pollution, the sky is a myriad of deep black and blue hues and so, so many stars. You’d decompose while trying to count them all. You snuggle up against J as he takes a final hit. From your perspective, the rising smoke almost looks like it’s weaving through the stars, netting around them and sparkling right above your head. JJ tosses the remnant of the joint into your grocery bag of trash.
“C’mere,” he sighs, propping himself up and running a hand down your torso. When he kisses you, he tastes like smoke and sweat, and a wave of heat rushes through you just from the taste. You’re pulling him on top of you by the loops of his cargo shorts, pressing yourself against the firm plane of his abdomen.
“God, you’re needy,” he laughs, pinning your hips down with a heavy hand.
“You made me this way,” you squirm, and it’s true. He’s too generous with his touches and too sugary with his words, and you chase him like he’s a hit of the purest cocaine.
He shifts on top of you, a knee between your thighs just like you like it. He presses his knee up just to see you gasp and grind down on him. JJ’s laugh is a little mean as snaps the waistband of your shorts. “Okay, honey, what do you want?”
There’s no shame in your voice as you blurt out, “Fuck me.” You’re whining out a plea before he can even answer, with no care that you’re out in the open… no care that the cops patrol at night.
JJ fakes shock, but the hardness of him against you gives him away. “You wanna get fucked, huh. Out in the open?”
“Don’t act like this wasn’t your whole plan, smartass,” you counter as he pins your hands down right above your head.
He just laughs in response. “Dirty, dirty, dirty,” he tuts rebukingly, but he’s pulling apart the tie of your swimsuit top all the same.
as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks#jj maybank#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank blurb#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank smut
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GIRL- ok first of all hello. So I was thinking of a fan fiction about Miguel x reader but Miguel is your parents’ close friend and you are at a ceremony all together after many years and he doesn’t take his eyes off of reader, so then they get alone and he fcks reader hard (not sure if you have already written one like this sorry if I didn’t see it) ❤️❤️
A/N-Im sorry it took me nearly a year to finish this babes
You and Miguel? You really didn't know, Miguel was only known by you because of your mother and father who favored him. It's funny actually, because they would always tell Miguel to watch out anytime he was near you. You were a wild child, always getting into something, and VERY MUCH petty. One time, Miguel had stepped on your precious (pet's name) paw, and you proceeded to make him think he was going insane the next three days by staying in his room and hiding whenever he checked.
He found out through you yourself, since you walked up to him one day with a sly grin. "How do you like my ghost act?" Were the words that made him connect the dots. Its safe to say he's over it, but he still checks his closet anytime he's going to bed because of it. You scarred the man for life. You haven't seen the man in years after your parents decided to move you to a place a couple cities away.
Your parent's fiftieth anniversary was approaching, and your aunts had planned a surprise party for when they got back, As you were helping prepare, you heard a familiar voice call your name. "Y/n?" Miguel said, his eyes wide in recognition. He hadn't seen you in a while, suddenly feeling his longing for you starting to sink back into his system as his heart raced upon seeing you again. So close to fuck touch but not yet, he'd have to control himself until the right moment.
You turned around and smiled, you had missed your favorite playmate. "Miguel!" You squealed, pouncing on the taller being. The man caught you and chuckled, putting you down. "Long time no see." He said, a joyous expression being seen in his eyes, even if his face said otherwise. "It has been! Did you miss me?" You questioned, leaning forward. Miguel caught sight of your cleavage from that specific motion, and started to blush.
He cleared his throat and nodded. "I missed some of you, not your troublemaking ways." You rolled your eyes and shoved a box into his hands. "Well, in that case, You can go help in the house with the decorations, Miguel." You huffed, pretending to be mad as you kept setting up the tables. Miguel chuckled, seeing right through your façade, and went inside to talk with your uncle on what to do with the box of decorations he had.
Soon, your parents came back. When they entered the house, everybody jumped out and shot them with hand held confetti cannons, "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!" Everybody yelled enthusiastically, their smiles lighting up the room as your parents laughed and thanked everyone. Your cousins ushered your parents outside, everyone following behind them to get the party started.
While everyone else was dancing, Miguel was sitting on the sidelines, watching you while taking occasional sips of his drink. Every movement you made was memorizing to him, his eyes unable to leave your swaying form. After a bit, You got tired and went inside. You decides to stay in your room for a bit, since the dancing portion had stopped and everyone started fixing plates for themselves and others to eat.
Miguel had followed you inside, his head buzzing with thoughts about you. Unknowing to his intentions, you invited him into your room, sitting on your bed and getting comfortable as you turned the TV on. It wasn't long before he sat on the bed too, his eyes never fully leaving your form.
The room started to feel warm when you noticed his gaze on you, his eyes basically eating away at your being and undressing you before himself. You fanned yourself, trying to cool down your heating face. "Its a bit warm in here isn't it," You gently giggled, turning to Miguel. The larger man groaned and grabbed you, tugging you onto his lap before pressing his lips against your own.
If you were warm before, you were burning up now; Everything was so hot, his tongue inside your mouth as he pushed you down, his hands on your skin as he tugged your dress off and fondled your breasts, the air around him as his own clothes joined your dress on the floor. It was all so fuzzy, your brain couldn't even properly process what was happening until Miguel parted from your lips and made his way between your legs, leaving a kiss every inch he descended.
"Miguel not there.." You whined, tugging at his hair as he began to lap at your core, his tongue diving between your folds to bring your arousal into his mouth. You could tell he was good with his mouth just by the way we worked his tongue inside you all while using his lips to suck on your puffy clit. You felt a odd feeling, a tightening in your lower stomach. "M-Miguel..-" You stammered, trying to warn him but it was all in vain. You're cumming on his face before you know it, your head hitting your headboard with a thud as the pleasure washes over you in waves.
Miguel lifted his face to look at her before pressing another kiss to your face, you liquids still o his tongue. He had to prep you, he knew he was bigger than average and that you'd need something to help with the stretch. He had some lube in his bag, which was also on the floor, so he retrieved it. His eyes were clouded with lust as he poured some on your throbbing cunt, making sure his hand was coated as well before sinking a finger into your heat.
He soon sunk a second finger into you, working you open slowly but surely. When he was able to get a fourth finger into you, he was satisfied with his work. He stroked his cock a few times, preparing it for what's to come. He slowly pushes his tip into your entrance, groaning as he he went deeper inch by devastatingly delicious inch. "Oh Mi Alma.." He whispered in your ear when he bottomed out in you, staying still to let you adjust to his girth.
He waited for a sign from you, anything to let him know that you're ready. It wasn't long before he got the green light from you, immediately pulling out until the tip was the only thing inside and slamming into you. It felt so good to have you under him, to mark up and grab onto your soft skin as he ravaged you. He kept biting you on whatever he could reach while thrusting into your deepest parts. Your shoulders, throat, and breasts were all bitten and sore from his relentless attack on them.
He picked up the pace, ramming into you with such force you could barely breathe. He wanted you to cum, he wanted you to tighten around him and milk his cock for every drop he could give you. His hips moved roughly against yours, the sound of skin against skin getting louder as time passed. The feeling of his teeth sinking into your skin, his cock drilling into your abused cunt, his hands squeezing your hips was all too much for you.
Your legs shook as another orgasm crashed onto you, your hands grabbing at the sheets as a cry fell from your lips. Miguel was soon after, not lasting too long when he was getting squeezed by you. "Fuck.." He mumbled, gently pulling out and watching as his cum seeped from your hole. He had half a mind to plug you up again, but hearing a small whimper from you quickly snapped him out of it. He got up and dampened a rag from your bathroom, cleaning you up. When he finished his aftercare, he kissed your forehead, watching you sleep. "Te amo, alborotadora." He said before falling asleep with you in his arms.
#miguel spiderverse#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o'hara#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel x reader#miguel x y/n#atsv miguel#miguel spiderman#miguel o hara#spiderman 2099#miguel 2099#across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099 spiderverse#spider man 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel ohara#ohara smut#fuck them up miguel#so long for what#miguel smut#miguel atsv#astv miguel#miguel x you#miguel ohara aftercare
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maybe i will finally learn my lesson? - begin again au ☆
wc: 1.2k
tw: sad, angst, rejection, talks about sex. no actual smut tho. borderline alcoholic tbh
ryan leonard x hughes sister au!
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
frankie fell back onto her bed with a soft thud as she tried to catch her breath. she looked at the boy beside her with a hopeful look hoping to gosh he would stay the night and cuddle her. she just needed some form of reassurance.
he never ever wanted to stay over though.
“i gotta go, the guys are going out tonight” he says as he gets out the bed acting like he was talking to some stranger. what frankie didn't realize was that they basically were.
“do you have to leave?” she says in a sad voice kneeling on the bed. she hated how he never wanted to stay and talk. was that so much for a girl to ask for these days?
“frankie, im all spent for right now, but i mean if im feeling it later on, i'll stop by”
is he fucking serious.
it had honestly been a while since frankie had felt that much rage. he really did only think of her as a fuck buddy.
she knew what she was getting herself into, when she agreed on their little agreement, but in the movies it always ends with the guys falling in love with you. right?
“oh my gosh. just leave. like actually” she said getting back in bed and turning her back to him. which left him dumbfounded. why would she be mad he had to leave?
“did i do something?” he asked confused as he finished putting his cloths on.
no answer.
that pissed drew off. she had no reason to be all pissy with him.
“are you mad because im going out with the boys? why would that bother you? were not anything, frankie. im allowed to go out” he said. still starring at her back.
“oh don’t worry. you’ve made that very clear to me drew” she says, her voice wavering due to the fact she just felt so foolish.
“whatever, you’re annoying me. talk to me when ur done being crazy” he said walking out and slamming her door in a fit of rage.
to say frankie took it totally fine would be dishonest. she sobbed in a fetal position all night. while blasting foolish one by taylor swift.
that woman really does have a song for every situation.
she had honestly never felt so alone.
of course she’s not actually alone; she just refuses to go to anyone and burden them with her problems. it’s not like she can call her parents and her brothers due to the fact she can’t lie to them. she knew they were going to ask something like 'how'd practice go?' and whatnot so she's been forwarding their calls since Wednesday when she quit the team.
she could also call her friends. or her ex teammates. did she even have friends?
she was alone.
___
she sits in her room finishing up and assignment when she felt like doing something. usually she would get drunk and go from there, but no. if the last week has taught her anything; it's that she's becoming a new person. and the new person wouldn't black out after every minor convenience.
so in the spur of the moment, she decided she was going to rearrange her room! which is what lead her to where she was right now; outside the freshman hockey house.
while moving her bed from one side to another, she found drews hoodie. so being the mature, new, amazing person she claimed to be... she decided to give him back his hoodie, as a form of ceasing the deal. this is a supposed to be a step forward is it three steps back?
frankie walked up the front steps and as she lifted her fist to knock she halts, when she hears multiple voices coming from inside. not wanting to end her and drews situationship in front of his teammates; to save them both the embarrassment. she quickly trashes her plan and decided to just head home.
but when she heard her name is when she decided against that.
"frankie?" she hears drew ask.
"yes dude. its actually so obvious she wants you after what your saying she did yesterday"
he told them about the argument?
well she couldn't really get mad, if frankie had best friends she would of probably told them too.
"well i dont want her like that and she knows that"
frankie felt her heart crack.
i mean she told herself he didn't like her back, but hearing him say it, is a whole different level of pain for someone who just oh so hoped to joke about their situationship one day over coffee as he watched the morning news while their kids got ready for school.
foolish one, frankie hughes.
"no way your gonna reject her, she's so hot. what the hell is there not to like" one of his stupid teammates said.
"I mean she's the nicest and one of the hottest girls I've ever got with dont get me wrong, but some of the shit she says makes me question if she's being for real or not" drew said not knowing the match he was lighting.
"I think I know what your talking about, is it when she said she thought denver was in texas?" one of his other teammates chimed in.
"bro yes. that actually left me speechless" he says. frankie felt like burning the house down at this point.
"she's lucky she's got hockey" another voice said.
"had'
the hoodie she had in her hands slipped through her fingers. just like the heart drew held. the heart he never wanted to hold.
she backed away from the door, never wanting to slash anyones tires more. she wanted to commit arson. the way they were talking about her, made her want to throw up.
she can take the fact he didn't like her back. thats okay. if he didn't feel the butterflies she felt it wasn't no one fault. but mine.
but the fact he stood their and called her stupid? who the fuck even knows geography like that? she felt so many emotions run through her veins and the one overcoming the rest was the one that held the power over her tears.
"frankie?" oh my god. no. why the hell did I not run home?
she turned her head to see ryan leonard standing there. one of drews friends. someone she had considered to be her friend. but if the rest talk about her like that, him, will, and gabe probably do too.
"you didn't see me here, ryan" she said as she covered her face trying to push past him.
"wha- hey! what's wrong? who did this?" he said grabbing her wrist and seeing her crying eyes. he knew who did it. he just needed to hear a confirmation before he went inside and beat his ass.
"nothing. let me go" she said wiping her tears.
"im not letting you leave here alone hughes, i know how you get when your this sad. I dont want to wake up tomorrow and hear that you got hit by a damn bus for gosh sake"
one thing ryan hated was when she would drink her feelings away because that meant she was going to be reckless. she honestly is reckless.
"well then do you want to come?"
I got tired so im done writing but I wanted to post this! also ! I have no hate towards drew, its all going to add up in the future when I start the other aus I have planned but for now drew is like anyone else and he's learning and growing. so bear with me!
#nhl imagine#frankie x ryan#ryan leonard#gabe perreault#nhl imagines#bc hockey#will smith hockey#hockey imagine#hockey fic#gabe perreault x reader#ryan leonard x reader#ryan leonard imagine#jack hughes#hughes sister#luke hughes#quinn hughes#drew fortescue
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Vanilla Perfume
Zoroxreader- no warnings only fluff <3
Zoro is not weak. In fact he’s far from weak, he’s wayyyy too strong. But every strong man has its weakness, and Zoro’s weakness was your perfume. That damn expensive signature perfume you’ve been wearing since before you first joined the crew. A vanilla scent, not your boring average vanilla scent but a superior, warm, spicy, and sweet vanilla that haunts Zoro. One whiff and he’s on his knees ready to worship and pray to the owner of the scent, which is obviously you.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out?” Zoro was pissed. Pissed because you both had agreed on staying in the Sunny and watching a movie with some food from a nearby restaurant and obviously some booze (and hydrating facemasks too). But when Robin pointed out that the island has some of the best night life in the world you knew you had to have a girls night even if Zoro got mad at you for ditching plans after he ordered food and found a movie.
Did you feel bad? Yea, but if you didn’t go out tonight you’d regret not going. So you did what you had to do. Get ready with the girls and escape while Zoro napped. And maybe you added something to his booze so he would sleep longer. Just because you’re a loving girlfriend it doesn’t mean you can’t commit pirate acts against your man.
“You’re such a bad girl you know, Zoro is gonna wake up pissed when he wakes up and doesn’t find you anywhere” Nami laughs, wasted. “Oh, I will be fine don’t you even worry girl, I have my ways” You replied sloppily, twice as wasted as her. “Oh, and speaking of the devil” Robin spoke pointing to Zoro, who was making its way to your table thru the crowd.
“Let’s go” he spoke when he finally got to you. “But I’m with the girls. The fuck?” You were giving him unnecessary sass that he didn’t appreciate at this moment. He rolled his eyes and told you to get up but you refused again which made Robin (the most sober out of the three) burst out laughing. Zoro rolled his eyes at her, it’s not even funny.
Eventually Zoro won, and got you to leave the bar with him. You were too drunk and sleepy to complain at this point. “Zorooooo, pleaseeeeeeee I’m sorryyyyyyyyy” you apologized to him as he ignored you the whole walk back to the ship. “You think a simple apology is enough after you cancelled our plans after I bought the food you wanted and the movie, and you cancelled without telling me, you just snuck off and lets not forget about the fact that you literally drugged me like I’m your enemy or something” he was mad, he had the right to. “Im sorry baby” you got closer to him eventually wrapping your arms around his waist and looking up at him with the prettiest eyes you can give him. “We haven’t had a girls night in so long, just us, the girls” you pouted at him. He just stared fighting his inner demons. You knew he smelt you, you knew he smelt the lethal perfume combo you chose today. The best vanilla scents in your collection + vanilla honey hair perfume, oh Zoro is a dead man.
“You know you’re getting away with so much shit because you smell so good and I don’t think it’s fair” he complained. You just giggled. “It’s my magic”
———
But wearing the same scent every day gets boring sometimes. “Baby I’m back!” You climb onto the crowns nest to show Zoro a haul of all the stuff you bought at the new island they arrived at. And as soon as you entered a new scent invaded Zoro’s nose. A pleasant sweet cherry scent with a familiar vanilla scent. The smell of an angel to him but a simple good perfume layering to you. “What took you so long?” He dramatically drops the dumbbell he was using to turn to you with a frown. You don’t care that he pretends to be annoyed with you as you cover his face in kisses with the new lipstick you’ve gotten at the store. “This store I went to had a variety of perfumes I had to smell every single one, AND I restocked on my signature scent as well” You kiss the perfume bottle showing it off to your still “annoyed” man.
“We were supposed to go watch that movie with the princess and the knight. You took way too long I had to go with the cook. It was embarrassing but I didn’t want that ticket to go to waste” he grumbled. You laughed. You knew that he liked spending time with Sanji (sometimes), even if he refused to admit it. They’re basically besties.
“Oh yea, well let me make it up to you baby” you stand on your tippies wrapping your arms around his sweaty neck and start kissing it. “Cant. Working out” he says but does nothing to stop you. It’s hard to resist you, specially with that new perfume. “But Zo-“ he couldn’t play it cool anymore. The cherry-vanilla scent won, meaning you had won, meaning you got your way again. Damn woman.
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HEY I LOVE UR WRITING could you do a touch deprived reader afraid of asking for attention or physical touch, and they think matt was angry at them and gave him some space but really he was just very stressed and when matt realized what they wanted he felt guilty and the rest is up to you! Lyy (matt sturniolo btw)
thank you sm for the request! sorry it took so long. love you ❤️
TONE DEAF matt sturniolo
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓁𝓎, dwntwn-strnlo.
↳ 𝐀/𝐍. its kinda different from what you asked, but i hope you like it!
↳ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. matthew sturniolo x reader
↳ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. request
↳ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃? yes!
↳ 𝐂𝐖! verbal argument, happy ending
walking into matts room, you sit on the edge of the bed behind him. he just got back from filming a personal video, and is already editing the recordings for it.
you were hanging out with chris in his room when matt got home, and he didnt even let you know he was back. which you will admit, it stung a little. you only found out that he was home when you looked out a window, finding the mini van parked out in the driveway.
"hey," you say, watching him replay the same 5 seconds of the video.
"hey," he mutters, repeating your greeting. but not turning around to give you even a sliver of his attention.
you easily frown, "you didnt tell me you were back," finding that he isnt going to respond, you continue. "you were gone for like three hours, i missed you." you let your light words trail off into the slightly too cold room.
"yeah, sorry. i forgot." his voice is low, and almost like theres a slight bite too it.
"oh," you sigh, tucking your knees up to your chest. still not taking your eyes off the back of his head. "well how was your day? i didnt see much of you since we woke up."
he sighs, a tinge of annoyance lacing his voice. "fine."
you pause before continuing. he clearly put a wall up, and youre just trying to find some sort of crack in the bricks. "what did you do, other than film a video of course." you laugh lightly to yourself.
"god, are you fucking tone deaf?!" he groans, spinning around in his chair to look at you for the first time. his expression is overridden with panic. "clearly i dont feel like talking right now."
his words take you aback. your eyes search his as he processes that he just snapped at you.
"oh . . ." you whisper. your voice fading into a void of nothing. the only sound you hear is the faint whirring of the ceiling fan overhead. "ill give you some space then."
"hey, no- honey . . ."
"no, its fine, matt." you frown, standing up and grabbing your shoes before walking out of the bedroom.
shutting the door, you stop and stand there for several seconds. letting his harsh words wash over you before walking over to the couch and putting your shoes on. matts never snapped at you like this before. he'd always been careful with his words when he was mad or stressed out.
grabbing your car keys, you don't know where your headed, or for how long. you just know you want to go.
. . .
eventually, you pull back into your driveway. you had just drove around and listened to music for a few hours, but you knew you had to come home.
finally glancing at the time sitting on your dash in a glowing shade of blue, you find it to be just after two am. with a sigh, you shut off the engine. getting out of the car to be hit by the cool, autumn air.
walking up the ever so familiar steps from your driveway to your door, you slow your pace down when you see the silhouette of someone sitting on the front porch. once they notice you, they stand up; taking a cautious step in your direction.
"y/n?" matts voice rings out to you. a slight hurt in his tone as he mutters your name.
"what are you doing out here?" you sigh, stepping around him to get to the front door.
"you know i couldnt fall asleep until i knew you were safe." his voice is sad and low as he mumbles the words out to you.
"well im safe, so go to sleep, matt." you snap. instantly regretting it, but you don't let your expression falter under the the dim glow of the dying porch light.
"baby, can we talk? please?" he pleads, running his hands down his face. "i feel awful for yelling at you earlier."
you stay silent. darting your eyes across his disheveled face as you wait for him to go on.
"i just - i feel stupid." he whispers, trying hard to not let tears fall. "i shouldve communicated to you that i was stressed out. but i didnt, and i let myself snap at you."
"matt . . ." you frown.
"im sorry, baby. i really am. and i understand if you still want some space and time to yourself, but i wont be able to fall asleep until you know how sorry i am.
"just please dont go to bed upset with me. i love you too much to let that happen."
you gently smile at the boy, walking over to him and pull him into a much needed hug. "its alright love, you dont need to apologize. i understand that your going through a rough time right now."
he nods, nuzzling his nose into the top of your head. "i love you so, so much, darling. i hope you know that."
you smile, nodding against his chest. "i know, honey, i know. love you forever."
matt tightens your embrace, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "forever and always."
TAGLIST
@slvt444smvt @thetriplets3 @theboyz-delulu @stxrniqlo @ifilwtmfc @iha8you @oneirophobic
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Sleepless Nights - Belphegor
Pairing: Belphegor x reader
Genre: hurt/comfort & fluff
Word Count: 1.1k
Summary: belphie gets mad at you one night for waking him up, but can’t help but realize that you haven’t been sleeping
CW: nightmares, sleep deprivation, exhaustion, exertion, insomnia?, soft! belphie, vv comforting,
i think this is the first time ive ever wrote anything about belphie on his own...interesting. anyway im sleepy like 24/7....def not self indulgent
————
You wake up screaming, sweat pooling on your forehead and sticking your hair to your skin. You’re left breathing heavily, heart racing in the dark of your room. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to force away the nightmare, but it’s no use.
Your demons have caught up to you—and not the ones you live with.
To say Belphie is annoyed is an understatement. It’s the fourth night in a row that your incessant screaming has woken him up, and he’s had about enough of it. He’s trudging to your room with a frown on his face, ready to chew you out for being so loud.
What was your issue, anyway? Were you so needy for attention that you had to wake everyone up? He shakes his head at the thought. Needy little human. Still, the thought of you trying to wake him up for his attention makes his heart speed up more than he’d like.
He shoves open your door, the wood whining on its hinges, and stomps inside. He freezes in his tracks at your dishevelled form, though. Wet eyes and thick lashes, a frown etched on your cute face.
You look like a sad little doll, and Belphie fights the urge to coo at you. He has to remind himself that you woke him up and that he’s supposed to be annoyed with you. But it’s so hard when just looking at you makes him feel like he never fell from heaven.
“Can you keep the noise down?” He narrows his eyes on you, “I’m trying to sleep.”
His words leave you speechless, staring at him slack jawed. His pretty eyes are narrowed on you, soft dark hair tumbling into his face and catching on his lashes. You hate him for being so pretty, you hate him for being so mean.
“I-I—” your voice catches in your throat, your words falling away.
Belphie looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something. He knows he’s being unfair to you—you’re sad and you look so defeated and weak, it makes him want to protect you. But Belphie is a stubborn bitch, and all he wants right now is one peaceful night of sleep.
“Sorry,” you mumble, hanging your head. “I’ll stop.”
He hums a quick response, turning on his heel and closing the door behind him. He wants to slap himself as soon as he leaves your room and hears the muffled sobs on the other side of the door. God, he’s such an asshole.
—
You walk around the next day like a zombie, shadows under your eyes dark enough to make anyone do a double take. Everything is fuzzy and you have to focus twice as hard in all of your classes, and even then the lights in your peripheral seem to morph into nightmares.
Your eyes close longer with every blink, and you know you won’t be able to last without a proper night of sleep much longer. It’s been almost a week since you slept more than three hours and your body is reaching its breaking point.
The day blurs together as the exhaustion takes over your body, and you start to feel like you’re in an aquarium.
No one’s around when you get home. All busy with extracurriculars and work and whatnot. It makes it easier for you to go sit at the dining room table, muscles tense and rigid, trying to keep your eyes open under the harsh light.
It’s dumb, and you know it’s not healthy for you, but anything is better than nightmares. Anything is better than having Belphie look at you with the same annoyance he did yesterday.
“Hey.” You must have drifted off, because a soft voice snaps you out of it.
You flinch, forcing your eyes open to look at Belphie. He has his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants, staring at you with something new in his eyes—concern.
You can’t even open your mouth, you’re so tired. You give him a weak wave and rest your head on the back of the chair.
Belphie kneels down at your side, resting his hands on your thighs. He’s never been gentle with you before, never cared enough to get this close to you. His touch has your breath catching in your throat, tingles filling the spots where he touches.
“When was the last time you slept?”
Your tired eyes meet his. “A week ago, maybe, I can’t remember.”
He sighs. He really is an asshole. Here he is, getting mad at you for inconveniencing him, all the while you’re falling apart. He wants to pick up the pieces and put them back together, but all he ever seems to do is push them further apart.
“Why haven’t you been sleeping?” His cold hand cups your jaw, holding up your head. He’s been where you’ve been—so absolutely tired that you feel like you can’t move.
“It’s,” you think about telling him, but with the way he’s holding you and looking at you, you don’t want to be more of a burden. “It’s nothing.”
He squints his eyes at you. “Don’t lie to me, baby.”
The pet name is like a shot of espresso but just as quickly as it hits you, the high starts to fade. Belphie watches the light spring to your eyes, surpressing his grin at the sight. Then, he watches it fade away. Yeah, you really need sleep.
“I’ve been having nightmares,” your voice is a mix between a whisper and a mumble, all of your words falling together.
Nightmares? That’s what’s been making you scream all night? He sighs, squeezing your knees. “You know that’s a quick fix for me, right?”
He wants to laugh at the way your doe eyes look up at him hopefully, a spark of life behind them. He could’ve fixed this for you weeks ago—if only he wasn’t so stubborn and so mean.
He grabs your hand tightly, half lifting you out of the chair. You’re so tired that your body sags, all of your limbs feeling impossibly heavy. Belphie has no problem with this, though. You’re human, you weigh practically nothing to him.
He scoops you up in his arms and takes you back to his room. He thinks about taking you to yours, but he knows no one would dare disturb him if they thought he was sleeping, and undisturbed sleep is what you need right now.
He lays you down in his bed, tucking you in and hiding you away from the cold air. He lays down next to you, an arm around your waist.
He rests his head on your shoulder, hugging you close to him. “Sweet dreams only, okay?” He mumbles into your cheek, “I won’t let any of those nightmares come back as long as you’re close to me.”
You rest your hand over his, and let sleep take over. Belphie doesn’t dare leave you—holding you the whole time, ready to drop everything for you when you wake up. You might be the one sleeping, but Belphie is the one that’s so gone.
#obey me x you#obey me oneshot#obey me x reader#obey me#swd obey me#obey me devildom#belphie fluff#belphie x you#belphie x reader#obey me belphegor#belphegor x reader#belphegor x you#belphegor imagine#belphegor avatar of sloth#x You#x reader
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— TIRED OF YOU ʚɞ 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞
← 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 | 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞
warnings — blood, gore, swearing, violence, disassociation, weapons
The second Ellie stepped foot out of Jackson to find y/n, she no linger had control of her body. She walked hours and killed dozens of infected and kept going with empty eyes. When she comes across a note leading her to y/ns whereabouts, she doesn’t hesitate to follow it. On the other hand, y/ns stumbling through her surrounds deliriously, helplessly trying to find supplies or anything to help keep her alive.
“No! You’re cheating!” Y/n hissed, leaning over the table to smack Ellies hand.
“Im not cheating! You just suck at this game.” Ellie snickered, placing down another card.
“Its not a game of skill dumbass.” Y/n rolled her eyes, and placed down another card.
“Then your luck sucks.” Ellie replied before placing another card. “UNO!” The girl barked, her voice coming out more eager than warranted and jumping in her seat.
“YOU BITCH!” Y/n yelled, laughing with skepticism laced into her voice.
“C’mon y/n/n. You know what you gotta do.” Ellie said, her tone jokingly condescending.
“Fuck you.” Y/n said as she placed the only usable card she had.
Ellie didn’t spare a second to slap down her final card, jumping up and raising her arms in the air and laughing hysterically.
Y/n laughed as she watched Ellies antics, at that time being her best friend of a year and a half.
Three gentle knocks on the door made the two stop for a second, the door opening to reveal Joel.
“Whats going on in here? I can hear you from the porch.” He said but not in a chastising manner.
“Ellie being a cheater is what.” Y/n said as she grabbed the Uno cards and began shuffling them.
“Am not!” Ellie squeaked. “Shes just mad shes shit at every card game ever.”
Y/n rolled her eyes and flipped off the girl before her, igniting a hyena kind laughter from her.
“I think this games gonna fuel a rivalry.” Joel chuckled slightly. “Y/n, Maria is asking for you to talk about some job for tomorrow.”
“Shit.” Y/n cursed under her breath. “Yeah let me grab my stuff and ill go to her.”
Joel nodded and closed the door.
“What job for tomorrow?” Ellie asked, squinting her eyes at y/n suspiciously.
“Shes making me pick up some grunt work. Says itll help me ‘find peace’ and ‘distract myself’.” She said, saying the reasons in mocking voices.
“The fuck. You’ve been having shitty jobs for like weeks now. Thats not fair no one else our age is doing those jobs why do you have to?” Ellie began, starting to get riled up to what in her eyes was unfair.
“Its fine Els i don’t mind. Not like I have anything else to do. I like being busy.” Y/n reasoned, shrugging off Ellies worries.
“You’re going to get burn out quickly y/n if you’re doing this shit every day.”
Y/n turned around to face Ellie and crossed her arms and looked at the gurl with round eyes. “Ellie im fine. Ill be fine. If i get burnt out then i rest but i enjoy this. I get to go into the forest around us and it’s peaceful.”
“I still don’t think you should let them make you do these things y/n. I don’t want to see something happen to you.”
“Ill be ok Ellie. If anything happens to be ill beat up whoever made it happen.”
Ellie laughed and looked at her best friend, her fave soft and eyes happy. The sun that shone against her back casted an aura of gold around her head and hair. Ellie couldn’t identify the pitting feeling in her stomach, but it was there, swallowing in on herself.
“I dont doubt it y/n/n.”
The night was hollow and bloody, Ellie crouched over a lazily burning fire. She looked into it, her eyes empty and glazed.
It’d been over 48 hours since Ellie had left Jackson.
Shed walked and shed walked. She checked every building shed come across, killing dozens of infected along the way.
After almost a day of walking, shed finally reached the warehouse that Luke had marked on the map, anxiousness and excitement picking at her chest as she looked at the rusted building.
Shed desperate begged whatever was above to find her. To walk into that factory and the only attack shed receive was y/n’s warm embrace.
But, Ellie knew her life had a habit of not going the way she wished.
Searching through the factory, she found dozens of dead infected littering the floor, the blood pooling around them still shimmering against her flashlight. It hadn’t been ling since they were put down. She inspected their wounds, the majority having stab wounds instead of gunshots.
She knew. She knew that y/n was the one to do this. That her y/n, pained and hungry had killed dozens of these infected in a fight to save her life.
This conclusion Ellie had come to was only solidified when she came across an opened closet in the first floor, blood staining the ground of it. But what caught Ellies attention wasn’t the blood of the ruthless scratches carved into the door. It was the arrow sticking out the wall by the door, pinning a polaroid onto the wall. It was simply a picture of the forest, green blooming everywhere and the suns rays reflecting off the leaves.
Ellie knew this was y/ns way of telling the girl she was alive.
With hope prickling at her ears, Ellie took the arrow and polaroid and went off to try to track her.
Now, the day later, Ellie had set up a fire to warm herself before she kept on her search, her feet aching in pain and her arms burning.
She didnt care how long shed have to be out there, she knew she had to find her. She couldn’t bare knowing that the last time the two interacted was an argument where she’d said things she couldn’t even think of repeating.
When Ellie pulled off the arrow, not one, but two polaroids fell, another one hidden behind.
The e’s. The handwriting only confirmed the polaroids and arrows belonging to y/n.
Staring down at the miswritten e’s and scratchy writing, Ellies eyes solidified as she breathed in deeply.
She stuffed it into the pocket and exited the warehouse, searching for the sign that was referenced in the note.
After walking around the perimeter, Ellie found a path that went downwards and led to the near by deserted town below the elevated land. Next to the beginning of the path was a big yellow metal sign with a black arrow pointing down the path.
Ellie straightened her back and breathed in, flicking open her pocket knife in a smooth action and holding it readily at her side. She began lunging down the path, alerted and ready to get through anything and anyone.
Step after step, breath after breath, y/n stumbled into the beginning of the town, seemingly unbothered and unclaimed.
Her head was faint and hazey, the plentiful blood that had rolled down her legs had practically dried onto her skin and muddy sweat beaded at her neck.
For the past 24 hours, y/n had been painfully taking down infected. Her lack of supplies left her clutching onto holding reality.
The burning sun beamed down on her for hours, evaporating basically all the water from her body, but no where was there any replenishment for that loss of water. Her fatigue weighed down on her and the empty grovel of her stomach made her fragiler.
A pharmacy.
Y/n felt the world around her sharpen when spotting the weathered words on the wall of the building before her, reading 24 HOUR PHARMACY.
She peered in through the windows as best as she could before losing her sense of control and pushing her way inside.
She looked around desperately, the place obviously not exactly flourishing with left behind items.
“Bingo.” y/n whispered upon finding a few supplies hidden behind the checking counter.
A bottle of alcohol, a few rags, and a protein bar. Desperately she collapsed to the ground to claw at the supplies, ripping the cap off the alcohol and pouring it on a rag. She leaned to her leg and hesitantly held the cloth over the wound on her leg.
Taking a few shaky breaths as she prepared herself of the torturous burn she was going to feel.
3… 2… 1…
Hot, red, flashing pain shot through y/ns body, her moth hissing and head hitting the counter behind her. “Jesus fucking christ.” She groaned, reaching over to the protein bar as her other hand held the rag. She ripped it open with her teeth and ravished the thing, the chocolate flavor blessing her dry, swollen tongue.
But what is it that they say, all food tastes amazing when you’re starving, right?
“Ok boys lets do this quickly!”
The hairs on the back of y/ns neck immediately stood and the fog in her brain subsided.
“Groups of two, alright? Leo and Nick with me, rest go. Kill anything and anyone you come across.” The voice of the yelled from outside the pharmacy, close enough to a broke glass that y/n could clearly hear their conversation.
Her hand desperately clawed at the ground around her is search of the knife shed had all along. Once grabbed, she pulled it against her chest, arm at ready for any sudden action.
Then, the sudden noise of the ring of the pharmacy door opening, followed by the shuffling of feet.
“Look ‘round. See what you can scrounge up.” A dark, rough voice ordered from the door.
Y/ns grip on her knife tightened and her breathing settled.
Go.
@lady-curpse @depressionandobsessionsessi-blog @muthafuckingstargirl @slut4vampire @evangelinejxy @lanasluverr @galacticstxrdust @lazyotakuofficial @agalswrittingobsession @dania7361 @jolieetoile @star-j0 @macaroni676 @gocryariver @a-beee @elliewilliamsissobabygirl @daddysfavoritesexkitten @dergy @dakota-dream @hangel0veb0t @randomhoex @l0v3e1i @stvrl1ght333 @ilovemydinoboi @bertandfearnie @luvwanda @hotgirlsshareaccounts @boobabietch @lazyotakuofficial @imaginexred @miadean
a/n — the way this is a day late and i havent posted the robin fic i was supposed to a few days ago😭😭 im so sorry yall this week has been CRAZY. i went to my first ever pride this weekend and got fuuuuucked up, i saw a few friends of mine perform (but it was a monday night and felt the consequences of my actions the next morning), i bought my first car ever by myself 🥳🥳🥳(finally a bitch can get out of the public transportation shes been trained to use since she was like 10💀), and i did an interview for a new job im trying to get and it went surprisingly well. these next few days ill b posting a bunch of stuff ti make up for my delays so i hope u enjoyyy.
#⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜ#lgbtq#the last of us#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams#ellie williams angst#ellie williams tlou#abby anderson x reader#joel miller x reader#the last of us part 2#the last of us x reader
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em have you seen the tiktok trend of folks trying to eat as fast as their husband??? do u think ian or mickey is the fast eater? or is it both of them?
p.s. i LOVE ur tiktok trend fics they make me giggle they're SO silly <3
thank you so much! i’m writing a lot of anxt at the moment, so these help me write something a bit more fun!
ian figures out the day after that mickey was fucking with him, using his own idea of doing the trends. he knows that he deserves it, but still.
a few days later, he finds a new trend. it’s not so much a prank, although ian’s been looking for those too, but it’s funny and a challenge so he’s obviously going to do it.
see, mickey’s a quick eater, which ian thinks is weird because he’s small. well, small compared to ian who actually chooses to enjoy his food instead of scoffing it down in three seconds.
he thinks he can definitely eat faster than mickey if he actually tried.
they pass a burger king every wednesday at the end of their route, and ian thinks its the perfect opportunity. they don’t eat fast food out as much anymore, usually ordering it and saving eating out for fancier meals. but when he suggests it to mickey, he gets an enthusiastic ‘hell yeah, gallagher, knew why i married your ass’.
ian orders the same as mickey, so the competition is even. it’s a big burger, the Double Whopper, which ian thinks probably has enough cholesterol to give three men heart problems, but he’s not backing down from the challenge. even if mickey doesn’t know it’s a challenge.
they eat in the car, and mickey almost looks happier than he did on their wedding day when he unwraps the thing. it makes ian jealous of a stupid burger.
he starts immediately, taking a large bite which ian matches pretty much exactly. faster than expected, mickey washes it down with a sip of coke and then starts on the next bite, leaving ian rushing to catch up.
jesus, he’s used to having things down his throat, but this is a whole nother level.
the thing is, mickey actually seems to be enjoying the burger which ian doesn’t get because he’s hardly tasting it. he’s moving on to a third bite before ian’s even finished chewing.
he regrets his decision, but maybe he can make this work. if he distracts mickey with conversation, maybe he’ll slow down.
“you know debbie texted sandy?”
mickey nods, continuing devouring without breaking eye contact with the food, and now ian’s left behind from his break to talk.
with his mouth full, he garbles, “did she reply?”
and mickey, completely content with eating with his mouth full, says, “can’t talk right now, eating.”
well, there goes that plan.
for a moment, mickey takes a break. he sips from his coke and munches on handfuls of the chips they got instead which ian matches bite for bite. annoyed, he notices mickey has a lot more of his burger left than ian.
“hey, what’s that?” he shouts, pointing, and while he’s distracted ian gets a few more bites in.
“what’s what?” mickey asks, looking to where ian’s finger is.
“thought i saw a big rat.” he mumbles around another mouthful.
mickey gives him a weird look, then proceeds to finish the burger in two more bites while ian just looks on, completely stunned.
desperately, he tries to take a few more bites but he hasn’t even finished what he’s already has and ends up looking like a chipmunk.
mickey watches him while he sips his coke, laughing.
“what’s wrong with you?”
“nothing, im eating.” he says in a way that’s barely distinguishable.
“you look like a squirrel.”
ian just holds up a middle finger, realising this is just a lost cause.
mickey continues to laugh, and ian just rolls his eyes.
once he’s finally done, he looks at his husband like he’s mad.
“what?” mickey asks, swiping at the corners of his mouth to see if he’s got sauce anywhere.
“you eat so fast i don’t know how you don’t choke.” ian tells him, finally realising he can enjoy the chips without having to rush.
“i’m good at not choking on big things.” he laughs, making ian shove him and roll his eyes again.
i hope it lived up to expectations!!
-> send me a tiktok trend and ill write a mini fic!
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Classic Story...
all birth stories
My old Story: Anna's Birth Struggle Anna had recently graduated and was college bound. Being 18 was fun for Anna and she enjoyed the graduated life. Her boyfriend Tom was also looking forward to college as well, but the two would be separated as they had been accepted to different schools. On the final night before moving away for school, they spent the evening together. Alone. Three months had gone by since the two had been together. Things were going well for him, but no so well for Anna. She was sick most mornings, and just felt off. A couple more weeks went by before she finally called her mom. She told her about her morning sickness and other symptoms. Her mom asked if she had taken a pregnancy test. To that she answered “Are you nuts?” “I’m not pregnant.” A few more days passed, she finally gave in and took a test. The test said she was indeed pregnant. She didn’t believe it so she took another. Same result. She called her mom in disbelief. “Mom I’m Pregnant.” Anna said. “OH my goodness....” Her mother replied. “What about school?” She asked Anna. “I don’t know mom, I don’t know what to do.” Regardless her mom was actually very excited, but Anna was far from excited. She had waited years to go to college and now it was all at risk. She visited the doctor where they confirmed she was about three months along. Much to far to go back now. Anna Couldn’t believe it. A baby? She didn’t want to have a baby! She then had to let Tom know. She didn’t know how he would react. She was very nervous making that call. “Tom, Its me, Your going to be a dad.” Anna said. There was a brief silence on the line.... “Oh my god are you serious?!?” He said excitedly. “Are you mad.” Anna asked. “Of course I’m not mad, Im absolutely ecstatic.” “Why would I be mad Anna, Its my fault your pregnant!” He said. “Oh thank god your happy.” Anna said. “What about our schooling?” “Its ok Anna, we will make it happen no matter what, I’m here for you!” Tom said. Most days Anna had morning sickness and other issues. Pregnancy was not easy for her. Anna was a petite brunette. She was small overall. She has a small frame, tiny arms, and she was only 5 foot 2. She was still just a girl in reality, but she now was going to become a woman faster then she had ever imagined. She continued her studies as best she could. Eventually the ninth month had arrived. Annas belly was like a basketball protruding from her body. Anna knew she would birth at home as this was her wish. Her mom Mary had been preparing thier home for months. Everything Mary could afford to get she got in preparation for the birth. Finally summer break arrived and a very pregnant Anna returned to her home, and Tom did to. One morning Anna awoke early to pains in her belly. This wasnt unusual for her as the baby frequently moved around in her belly causing discomfort. These pains were different however. She felt around the top of her belly. She could feel a little baby foot squirming around within her. Anna was grossed out by the babies movements, she didnt like the idea that a baby was inside her. She was ready to be done, ready to give birth and be back to being a normal girl again. Anna prepared a breakfast and joined her boyfriend Tom on the front porch for a Saturday morning conversation. Tom asked how Anna was doing and knew that she was in some type of pain. “I think it may be happening.” Anna said “Ok honey, lets get things ready.” Tom replied. Tom prepared her bed with clean sheets and comfortable pillows. He also layed out towels in the bathoom and on the bed to catch fluids during the birthing process. A couple hours later Anna was in real pain, labor had begun and her belly squirmed wildly as the baby moved toward the birth canal. The contractions were sharper and shaper and it wasnt long before Anna was really hurting. She layed sprawled out on the couch, trying her hardest to bear
through each contraction. She was wearing a light shirt, bra, and panties. She fought the pain as best she could, but still yelped in pain with each contraction. Tom had read up on birth and was going to school to be a doctor. He figured this would be a good training opportunity.
“My poor baby girl.” Tom said, sitting beside her. Anna continued to struggle through the pain. Anna entered transition, this was the worst pain she had ever faced. “Oh my god, oh oh oh, help me, ahhhhhhh” Anna yelped. She continued her struggle. Till finally transition had ended. The baby was now low in her belly and engaged in her pelvis. “Ok its time to check your cervix to see if you can push.” Tom said Anna sat upon the bed and Tom inserted a finger to check Anna. “Good girl Anna, your right on the money, 10 centimeters!” “So now what do I do?” Anna asked. “Time to push that baby out hun!” Tom replied. “Im scared.” Anna said. “I know baby girl, but its so close to being done now.” Tom said. Anna endured another couple of contractions. She was ready to get over to the bed, but the next contraction brought a tiny gush of fluids. “Whats happening!?!” Anna shrieked. “Your water broke baby, The baby is coming now!” Tom replied. Anna and Tom went to the bed, Anna waddled as it was so strange to her having so much pressure between her legs. They arrived at the bedside. Anna took off her shirt, bra, and panties, then climbed into bed. “Wow look at my beautiful baby girl” Tom said. “You are so beautiful.” “Ok how do I do this.” Anna asked. Tom put several pillows behind his pregnant girlfriends head, he put an absorbent pad under her butt as well. “Lift your butt baby.” Tom said as she slid the pad underneath. “Ok now we wait for a contraction and you push.” Tom said. “I will teach you how to push.” Tom stated. Tom put a finger in her opening. “Feel my finger?” Tom asked. “Yes.” Anna replied. “Ok when a contraction comes, your push like your having a bowel movement right at this spot.” He said “Ok” Anna replied. It was time to put her newly acquired knowledge to the test. A contraction came. “Ok baby, pull your legs up toward your chest and push like your pooping.” Tom instructed. Anna pulled back her little legs and pushed. “Grrrrr.” she grunted out. She then stopped. “Good girl Anna.” Tom said. “Hold those pushes good and long.” Tom stated. Anna pushed again. “mmmmmm grrrrrr ahhhhhh.” She grunted hard. The contraction ended. “Good girl baby!” Tom said. “Now relax.” “How many pushes will I have to do?” Anna asked. “Could be a few minutes, could be a few hours babe.” Tom said. “A FEW HOURS!” Anna yelled. “Yes baby, pushing a baby out is a long process. Your young and small, The baby has to stretch you out to get free.” Tom said. “You will be ok. Just breath and relax.” Another contraction came.
“Ok baby girl, here goes.” Tom said. Anna pulled back her legs and grunted. She pushed good and hard this time, curling her little toes in protest of the pain. “Good push girl! And again!” Tom said. Anna pushed again and again till the contraction was over. “Ok babe, lets see what we can see.” Tom said. Tom used both hands to open her opening. He poked around a bit. ‘“Ok girl, heres a contraction, push hard.” He said Anna pushed with all her strength. “Ohhhh!!! We have something here!” Tom said. “I see something!” Tom said again. “We have a little baby head!” “I wanna see the baby!” Anna said. Tom grabbed a large mirror and placed in in front of her, she then pulled back her opening once more. “Ok push hard and watch the mirror” Tom said. Anna pushed, in the tiny little back of her opening a tiny spot of hair was visible. As the push stopped the spot went away. “Where did my baby go?” Anna asked. “Back in your tummy.” Tom said. “Why in my tummy, I want her out!” Anna stated. “Birth is a two steps forward, one step back process baby. The baby will come out a bit, then go back in a bit, remember she is stretching you out so she can get free.” Tom said. “ I want her out!” Anna said. “Honey, she will come out, you have to push her out. “ Tom said. Anna dropped her legs as the contraction ended. Tom grabbed more pillows as it was a struggle for Anna to push and hold her legs open. He put pillows under Annas legs to support them. Then another contraction came. Anna moaned as she pushed, she struggled and quivered. Her perineum however was starting to bulge a bit with each push. “I’m uncomfortable.” Anna said. “Change positions honey, you have the whole bed.” Tom said. “Try side laying, I’ll support your upper leg when you push.” Anna slowly moved from laying on her back to laying on her side. Her cute little Belly touching the mattress. Another contraction came. Tom supported her upper leg as she began to push again. Anna dug deep and bored down with all her strength, the perineum slowly bulged outward. As the push ended the perineum bulge disappeared. The contraction continued so Anna pushed again. Once again the bulge appeared, and then slowly disappeared as the push ended. “Good girl Anna, your making her move in there!” Tom said. “With every push your helping the baby escape from your womb.” Tom laid down first and let Anna lie down on his lap. He did this to comfort Anna and help her push the baby out. The mirror was positioned so that Anna and Tom could see the progress. Little did Anna know this was just the beginning of the battle. Another round of contractions Hit Anna. Assisted by her boyfriend she began pushing again. Anna drew back her legs and let out a push. She curled her toes as she pushed, her Tummy shook and quivered as she pushed hard to free the baby. Her perineum bulged as she continued to push the baby. The next push brought the bulge out further. It was becoming evident that the baby's head was close to the opening. A few moments later another push came over Anna. She strained and struggled, but her efforts were awarded. She pushed again, the perineum bulged farther this time. Anna continued to struggle, however she was about to be rewarded. As in her vulva, a tiny tuft of hair protruded. “Good Girl baby!” We can see that little Head! Tom said.
As the push came to an end the tuft of hair receded from view. The contraction ended. Anna relaxed in between the waves. Less than a minute later the next contraction started. Tom assisted Anna in drawing her legs back. Anna pushed with all of her strength. The tiny tuft of hair appeared in the opening once more.
“Reach down and touch the baby.” Tom said Anna reached down with her hand, and for the first time touched her baby's head. “Ewww its slippery and gross!” Anna said. Tom just laughed. The next contraction started. Anna Drew back her legs once more and pushed. The baby's head became slightly more visible this time. However as the push ended the baby's head drew back inside of Anna’s tummy. She was so close, but yet so far. When pushing she could see her baby, but the battle was far from over. “Ok baby girl, the next stage is the tricky one. The babies head will fight your perineum to get out. When you push the head will come out, but when you stop it will roll back. The perineum skin will hold the baby inside of you. You must overcome this skin to get the baby out.” Tom instructed. It was time for Anna to dig deep. Her baby's head was stuck in between her legs, and only she could free it. It did not matter how much assistance her boyfriend gave her, it was totally up to her to give birth to the babies head. Anna knew that Tom could not pull the baby from within her. It had to be done on her own. The next contraction came. Anna's Little body strained as she began to push. Below her belly the tiny baby Head was starting to emerge. It seemed so much more fluid in her. The head was more responsive to her pushing now. Even a tiny push had a reaction on the baby. Tom layed behind her and watched the action unfold in the mirror. He was so proud of what his girl was doing, and slightly aroused. Anna pushed again which revealed the baby's head once more, however as she stopped the head receded back in. The battle between baby and skin had begun. Every push moved the head into the opening, but at the end of every push the baby went back inside of Annas tummy. The battle continued. Anna pushed down hard, the baby responded this time, and the head protruded quite far. However with the end of the push the baby went back into her tummy. Anna made tiny moaning sounds as she pushed hard to free her baby. She needed a position change to see if she could push the head free in a different position. Lying on her back was obviously getting her nowhere as the baby continued to go in and out. She once again switched to side lying. Tom supported her upper leg as she pushed. The baby's head came into view then slowly rolled back in as Anna stopped pushing. The little baby head was not coming anytime soon. It's almost as though the baby preferred Annas tiny little Tummy. Anna continued to struggle, but the babies head remained firm in her. It had now been two hours since Anna began pushing. She had made good progress, but the babies head was still within her. The baby had made an appearance several times, but refused to stay in the opening. Anna's Young perineum skin just was not allowing the baby to come forth. Anna was becoming desperate. She wanted the baby out of her badly but no matter how hard she struggled the head would not come free. Still on her side she began to wiggle her tiny hips back-and-forth. “Good girl Anna. Move those hips, it may help her out.” Tom said. “Follow your instincts.” Anna resumed another push. As she wiggled her hips back and forth the baby's head started to make more headway. The tiny tuft of hair head become the top of the babies skull. A tiny teardrop shape was starting to happen. Anna's perineum skin was finally starting to stretch. “Good job baby girl, wiggle that tummy and get that baby out!”Tom said. “Uhh, uhgrrrm, ooh god, mmmmm.” Anna moaned as she pushed. Anna was getting tired And frustrated. It was time for an all out massive push. “Im going for it.” Anna said. “Hold me open.” Anna waited for the next contraction to set in, Tom held her opening below to allow more space for the babies head. Anna breathed in any gathered all of her strength. She dug her feet into the mattress, strained as hard as she possibly could and let out the biggest push she had
ever done. She wiggled from side to side as she pushed. The baby's had came far into the opening. The furthest it had been yet. Even a small portion of the babies forehead was visible. However at the end of her massive push, the babies went back inside the tummy. “Wow honey, I was for sure that would have her out!” Tom said.
“I dont think I can get her out.” Anna stated. “You can honey, I will coach you.” Tom said. Tom began the coaching. He came around from behind her to assist the perineum in opening. “Ok baby, hard push.” Mary said “1 2 3 4 5... “good let go.” Tom continued coaching her for another 15 minutes. The baby's head continued into yo-yo action. Slowly coming visible with the push, and receding back in with the end. Finally after a few more pushes the head was starting to come forth far into crowning. Even though the baby's head was starting to crown, at the end of the push the head was still receding into Anna's tummy. Tom continued to coach his girlfriend, but the head refused to come free. The perineum skin was still fighting to keep the baby inside. No matter how hard Anna pushed the baby continued to recede in at the end. Tom assisted her by pulling back the skin as she pushed. Anna was taking a real working over and Tom knew that she would soon tire to the point of exhaustion. “I cant get her out.” Anna said. “Ive been in the same spot now for 45 minutes and the head is still stuck.” “I know baby girl, you have worked so hard, your perineum is just so tight.” Tom said. The babies head remained in the vulva. Visible, but not able to get free of the perineum. “Help me, I cant get her out.” Anna wailed. Anna began to doubt, she had worked so hard, but with no avail. Tom had doubts as well, seeing his poor girl struggle was starting to make him wonder as well. They took a break for a few minutes and regained composure. “Help, help me.” Anna said. “There is nothing I can do to free the baby honey, you just have to keep going.” Tom said. Anna let out a tiny grunty push. The head moved, but barely. She pushed again. Once again the baby responded, but it was little effort against the tight perineum. The baby receded back into Annas tummy. Once again becoming clenched by the Tight perineum. It was time to take a break and give up for a while, it was becoming apparent that Anna was not going to be able to free the baby. She was simply too tired, and her skin too tight. Anna drew her legs together and the baby disappeared from the Vulva back into her tummy. Anna stood up. It was time to take a break and walk. The walking motion and the movement of her hips might help the baby get into a better position to get free. The baby now back firmly in the tummy made Anna upset. She had carried this baby for the last nine months, and now it was so close to coming out, but yet she was unable to get it out. She could feel the baby moving within her, she could feel it kick and struggle to get free of her tight skin. She began to wonder if the baby would actually fit out of her. Anna endured more contractions as she paced around the bedroom. She could feel the babies head just inside her rubbing the perineum as she walked. It was a strange feeling. After 30 minutes of walking around, it was time for the inevitable. Anna needed to starting pushing again. Anna returned to the bed with Tom at her side. She drew back her legs and began pushing once more. She breathed in and bored down, her skin bulged below. She pushed again, the skin bulged farther and the vulva opened. She pushed again, the head came back to view then slowly receded with the end of the push. The next contraction came. Anna pushed hard and the head came to view, as the push slowed the head went back. Anna was grunting will all her might to free the little baby, but it was stuck. The tiny head held tightly in place. She took a breath. The head slipped slowly back in. “Good girl Anna, it will happen, just stay with it.” Tom said. However after several hours of pushing Tom was starting to get worried she would not be able to get the baby out on her own. Secretly he was turned on by this. Anna kept at it though, pushing hard to get the head moving, then watching it go back inside. She knew she really had no other choice but to get the baby out. The morning turned in to afternoon as Anna continued
to push the baby out. The head had now been going in and out for two long hours. Anna had now been pushing for five total hours. Anna’s body was covered in sweat, and she was becoming very exhausted. “Tom, the baby isn’t coming out.” Anna said. “I’ve been at this for hours.”
“I know babe, but the head is right there in your opening, It will come.” Tom replied. “Yes I know Tom, but her head has been there for two hours!” Anna said. “Are you enjoying seeing me like this?” “No babe of course not, I mean you are quite cute when you push, but I want the baby to come out to.” Tom said. Anna returned to pushing, she grunted hard and long. The babies head was right there at the opening, but just refused to come out any farther. Anna tried and tried again to get the baby out but with no prevail. “Ok Tom, I’m throwing in the towel.” Anna said. “Your baby isn’t coming out.” Anna felt trapped by this. She had a baby stuck in her, she couldn’t get it out, she began to feel anxious. Her anxiety made her tense up. This made the baby retract back inside her. As the baby retracted her tummy got bigger. “Looks like your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Yes, but I’ve been trying to get un-pregnant now for hours!” Anna said. “Why did you have to put such a big baby in me Tom? Anna asked. “I’m not sure its a size issue, I think there is another complication.” Tom replied. Anna went to say something again but was stopped by a contraction. She pushed hard and the head moved out to its farthest yet. The head stayed in the opening for a few seconds before slowly retracting back inside. “See babe, your getting it, that was the farthest its been out yet.” Tom said. “Well ok, I’ll keep trying.” Anna said. Anna pushed again with the next contraction, the head came slowly into view. The babies hair was dry now, it had been in the same spot for so long. Feeling the head going in and out was starting to become natural to Anna. It was actually starting to become slightly pleasureable. She pushed again feeling the head push against her opening. She was becoming aroused. Tom noticed this. “Starting to like it babe?” Tom asked. “Well.... I mean I want it out, but the feeling.....” Anna said. Anna continued to work the baby in and out of her. The head would slowly decend and push her opening, then retract back within her. Anna continued this until she could handle the pleasure no more. Her body shook and quivered with pure sensation. As the sensation overtook her she pushed, her opening contracted in and out. The babies head did the same, however it wasn’t popping out as she thought. The tension of the contractions held the baby tight within her. “Ok Tom thats it, your baby is stuck in me and I want it out now.” Anna said. “Get this baby out of me or else.” “Ok ok, lets see whats going on in there.” Tom replied. Tom reached in Annas opening, he felt around the babies stuck head with his finger. He got around to the bottom of the head and found the problem. “Ok so first of all we have a hand here, and second of all the baby is face up.” Tom said. “Theses two conditions make birth just about impossible.” Tom then withdrew his finger. “I suppose I could pull the hand free making birth much easier.” Tom said as he took a step backwards. “Ok so do it then.” Anna said. “Nah your ok babe, Just keep pushing.” Tom said as he stepped farther away. “Are you nuts Tom!” Anna said. “Your just so cute when you push.” Tom said. “Tom I command you to pull that hand out.” Anna said straining to push. “You’ll get it babe.” Tom said.
“TOM!!” Anna yelled. Tom slowly sat back down at her side. Anna desperately reached down and tried to feel for the babies hand. She could get her fingers just inside, but her belly was to big to be able to reach far enough inside. She gave up and moaned in protest. “Good girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. “Oh I’m going to get you for this!” Anna said. Anna went to move toward Tom but was hit with another painful contraction. She pulled her legs back and pushed as hard as she could. “Mmmmm Ahhhhhh, COME OUT BABY!” She yelled. She pushed hard again. “OHH MMMM AHHH, COME OUT!” She was gaining traction on the baby, moving its head ever farther out of her opening. However the babies little hand was preventing escape. She pushed hard again, her belly covered in sweat. She could feel the baby kicking and squirming inside to try and get out. Anna put her legs up on the headboard of the bed and continued to push with all her might. She pushed on her belly with her hands to help the baby. But it wasn’t moving. The baby was stuck just prior to full crown. The forehead was visible, but the face had yet to come. “TOM!” Anna said. “Good effort babe, But your still pregnant.” Tom said. “Make you a deal.” Tom said. “Ok what.” Anna said. “If I can impregnate you again in the future, I’ll pull that hand free.” Tom said. “NO, I don’t want another one of your babies inside me!” Anna said. “Ok keep pushing then.” Tom said. “Quick tip, wiggle your hips.” Anna stood up and got on all fours. Then went into a squat. She pushed and wiggled her hips as much as she could. The babies head began to come forward. She pushed harder and harder, the head began to finally stay down. With the next push the face came forth. It retracted a bit with the end of the push. The next push was a struggle but the baby was moving. “AHHHH MMMM.” Anna grunted as she pushed. The head was coming slowly out. The babies ears started to show. The end of the push had the ears disappear back in, to Toms pleasure. “Good Girl Anna, just keep pushing.” Tom said. The baby was coming but it was also continuing to recede back at the end of the pushes. The next push was finally the one that Anna had been waiting for, with a epic push and struggle, the head finally emerged. It was a relief to Anna to finally have the head out. She wiggled and pushed again, the first shoulder popped free. With the next push the other shoulder and body slipped free. Anna was elated to finally have the baby out. She got to know the new baby, and allowed Tom to bond as well. “So, when can we have another Anna.” Tom said. “Don’t get any silly ideas.” Anna said.
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tuesday again 9/10/2024
someone adopt this little orange man from me in Houston TX! more details here!
listening
the 1991 Ella Mae Morse compilation Capitol Collectors Series is the official driving-cats-to-the-vet album bc it is so mellow but still fun. this album has previously been featured several times in tuesdayposts but i think you should all listen to it again.
youtube
seven thousand three hundred days IS a long long time to sleep ur so right ella
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reading
two different works that annoyed me: Emily Hamilton's The Stars Too Fondly. my first clue should have been that this is my least favorite poem, bc ppl would quote it to me smugly after my mom died. im sure they thought they were being so super comforting to a budding astronomer, but, much like how i can no longer eat lasagna bc ppl gave us Twenty! Party! Size! Platters! Of! Lasagna! after my mom died (they would just Appear on our front porch, frozen), too much of this poem really soured me.
i had this book on hold Forever and then delayed delivery twice bc i have not felt like reading lately. here's the publisher's description:
In her breathtaking debut—part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com—Emily Hamilton weaves a suspenseful, charming, and irresistibly joyous tale of fierce friendship, improbable love, and wonder as vast as the universe itself. So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace. But then the stupid dark matter engine started all on its own, and now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri, unable to turn around, and being harangued by a snarky hologram that has the face and attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie. Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is kind of a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship gets deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting, old mysteries come crawling back to life, and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for. Lying somewhere in the subspace between science fantasy and sapphic rom-com, The Stars Too Fondly is a soaring near-future adventure about dark matter and alternate dimensions, leaving home and finding family, and the galaxy-saving power of letting yourself love and be loved.
should be catnip for me, right? wrong. starts out as a chat fic, which i hate.
i had a lot of trouble finishing the first chapter, which also has an extended third-person omniscient narrator flashback in italics, a thing i also hate. i KNOW you can figure out how to integrate this information into the book in a better way instead of dumping it in my lap.
i think part of why this is not hitting like i wanted is the tone, because i think this veers more new adult than i was really hoping for. i think introducing a big group all at once is very hard to do effectively. i do not like a series of character introductions that feel like they are trying to sell me action figures. or perhaps blind-bag figures. i do not like a six-deep list of cheesy puns about someone's name. i do not have the patience to see if this debut novel finds its footing a little later on, though i am glad a sapphic ghost in the machine romance exists in this world.
i also read dean motter's mister x (both the original late eighties through early nineties run and the 2008 follow-on).
let's yoink the description from wikipedia:
Set in Radiant City, a dystopian municipality influenced by Bauhaus and Fritz Lang's Metropolis, the series concerns a mysterious figure who purports to be its architect. His radical theories of "psychetecture" cause the citizenry to go mad, just as he did, and he takes on the mission to repair his creation. To accomplish this he remains awake twenty-four hours a day by means of the drug "insomnalin", all the while coping with a Dick Tracy–like rogues gallery and supporting cast including his long-suffering ex-girlfriend Mercedes. (ed note: the redhead in the santa beard below)
the art in this comic book is really and truly stunning. everyone was firing on all cylinders. beautiful retrofuturistic advertisement vibes, very fun play with panels and word balloons while still being readable, there are airships, you know how it is. looooooooove a hardboiled noir.
the Concept of mister x, this horrible awful futuristic city that grinds its citizenry up and spits them out? both figuratively and sometimes literally? love it!!! love a great wounded beast of a city as a character!!!
unforch the "who is mister x" subplot does not resolve in a satisfying way, imo. there's a lot of flip-flopping, there's a lot of options, he ends up being (maybe?) someone he was very definitively proven NOT to be in an earlier issue, and it really soured me on the whole experience. and also i don't believe it! that specific person makes no fucking sense! who mister x is, is by far the least interesting part of the series. tell me more about how he's fixing the city. show me more of the city. shut up and dance, robot artists
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watching
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016, dir. Singer). this movie did not need to be two and a half hours long. appreciated the EXTREMELY divorced energy from charles & erik though, quicksilver rescuing the school scene was also very fun. my bestie's husband has informed me we are NOT watching Dark Phoenix, i'm not sure if we're going to loop back and watch the ??? number of wolverine films or if we're going to see how i feel about deadpool. bc i find this character insufferable through clips only.
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playing
there is a feature in the video game genshin impact to turn your World Level (TM) down in order to make overworld enemies a little easier. i am at seven out of nine bc i genuinely can't finish the boss to unlock world level 9, and i am finding some of the overworld enemies too hard at 8 and want to finish the achievements in a more relaxed fashion.
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making
this is going to be a lot of previously posted pics so bear with me.
saturday morning/saturday evening. plants? repotted. porch and stairs? swept. old wasp nests? knocked down. different mirror on the porch to go out to the curb when i have the energy? yes. also a giant slab of engineered stone from the top of a dresser but that's out of frame.
speaking of the giant broken dresser that was in my apartment when i moved in just over a year ago, i ripped it apart with a crowbar and threw it in the dumpster. put my pretty zebrawood desk in the empty space and started thinking about what to hang on that wall. the wall across from it is maps, bc i think a cozy office should have lots of maps and it makes a good video conference background. maybe this will be the dedicated cowboy nonsense wall. i did so much dusting and vacuuming and mopping and the girls can't even hang out in here bc the orange boy is in the office bathroom. big sigh.
also a lot of driving around and emailing and calling thirty shelters and rescues figuring out how to get this orange man a home. please take this orange man off my hands.
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My hunger games au lore that im acting so odd over because I keep getting flashbacks to the other post
Ik i said I would make this into a video but it was getting to like 10 minutes long 😭 so here's a really shortened version of some of it OK SO
-The curtis brothers live in DISTRICT 7 instead because I like the idea of them being lumberjacks it's funny and also because the Curtises knowing alot about plants and trees and stuff is kind of relevant
-Their parents died in an altercation with some peacekeepers. Is that still lazy?? Yea but hopefully not as lazy
-Ponyboy still genuinely believes Darry sees him as a burden and despises him so he is under the impression that Darry is going to try and kill him the second they get into that arena so naturally he tries to get as far away from him as possible for most of the games.
-instead dally and johnny are from district 12 which I THINK fits better for them??? Johnny still has the same kind of schtick as in the original post where he believe he doesn't have a shot at winning which he's not really coping well with, but dally I kind of changed its not that he thinks he can or can't win its more that he doesn't want to. He's super mad the two of them have been put into this situation and doesn't want to conform to the opressive system the capitol has put in place to keep the district peoples lives being used as entertainment I guess. But I don't really know if it's in a "i want to start a revolution" way or not I guess.
-Tim I mostly added because I like him.I'm a tim stan. He's from district 8 for the same reason the curtis brothers are from district 7, I like the idea of him being really good at sewing. I'm still on the fence on whether I wanna add Angela or Curly as tributes too but as it stands tim is the only one that has been reaped out if the three of them. He's really desperate to get back for this reason because he knows without him his siblings would be left on their own. He's also really really smart in this au so he makes it super far into the games.
-The socs respectively are from Districts 1, 2 and 4 because them being the careers makes sense to me. Like the advantages that the careers have in the games just kind of aligns with the advantages the socs have in LIFE. Does that make sense????? Idk I might be talking out of my ass here 😭. The combinations of the socs have changed around alot but I keep going back to Randy and Marcia in 1, Cherry and Bob in 2 and Paul and Beverly (from the musical !! Its so good go listen to it) in 4.
-Steve and Twobit I added because I think they're a funny duo and they're from district 6 (get it cause it's the transportation district). I really don't have much to say about them honestly I have a little bit so if u wanna hear about them let me know !! Originally it was gonna be sodapop and Steve but I couldn't find a way for it to make sense. Maybe I'll add him in and say he's not related to darry and ponyboy or something I don't know. I hate leaving him out though ily soda.
-Scout is still here (hi scout) but she's used as a bit of a plot device now lol
-the arena is a huge forest, but its also got some really mountainous areas
-there IS mutts now but they're let loose about 2 thirds of the way through and aren't around for very long. The fire is still there as well because mostly i just enjoy drawing fire.
-I think (?) That's everything, I'll keep the deaths and the other stuff that happens in the arena for another post because this is already kind of long I think
-if you want to hear more you can totally message me !! I love talking to people or u can use the ask box I would literally love either of these but obviously no pressure 😭
-I have a BUNCH of drawings done for this au like so many
Anyway I think the moral of the story is not being a good writer and 3 days of being awake are not a good combo lol
#the outsiders#the outsiders au#ponyboy curtis#darry curtis#darrel curtis#sodapop curtis#johnny cade#two bit mathews#steve randle#dallas winston#the outsiders hunger games au#cw death#The other post I made about this had me STRESSING it was not good#Should I give ponyboy a little braid in this au I think i will#cherry valance#paul holden#bob sheldon#randy adderson#this is such a work in progress u can definitely tell 😭
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