#im still hungry
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me: oh boy i cant wait to make a sandwich!
the loaf of bread on my fridge:
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I started procrastinating and getting hungry and next thing I know my silly doodles have been colored and I've still done nothing.
Bonus because this wizard owns my heart now apparently:
He'd be so mad. Beyond pissed to know someone they loved was skipping meals
@petite-libellule-ao3 I think it's my new duty to tag you any and everytime I make something remotely Jae related lol
#hogwarts mystery#jae kim#penny haywood#harry potter hogwarts mystery#hphm#hphm jae#hphm penny#my art#im still hungry
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i cant stop eating im going to cry
#tw ed#yesterday i had only a coffee and a small dinner#but today i had so much to eat everything i did yesterday doesnt matter anymore if i dont get it out of my body now#i absolutely hate purging#i dont want to do this anymore#im still hungry
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I hope I haven't already delivered it here, but I don't care, so here's your garlic bread:
Have a great day!
- The Garlic Bread Deliverer
No you haven't already delivered it here. Thank you very much for the garlic bread! I shall be be sure to recommend your services for speedy delivery and excellent quality. Salutation!
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Someone stole my fuching DoorDash order. Like went into the Taco Bell, said they were there to pick up an order and took it.
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went to get a snack, realised i have dinner in 40 minutes, cried internally, and settled for a slice of plain white bread
#smth logan would do tbh#im still hungry#now i gotta wait for dinner#autism#autistic things#actually autistic
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i had dinner tonight (everyone cheers) it was so fucking good........... fuck
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Cons to being suddenly sent into vyvanse withdrawal again: basically everything
Pros: my appetite, which I have been struggling with since starting adhd medication that resulted in me rapidly (nearly a pound a day) and uncontrollably losing weight and led to changes i don’t like in my diet (more processed sugar, doesn’t sit well on my stomach :/) in an effort to consume enough calories to stabilize, has returned with a VENGEANCE
#and im craving my usual hearty foods not sweet things#ive always favored hearty foods and good filling meals to sweet treats#umami supremacy#i’d rank my taste preferences umami - salty - sweet - sour - bitter#and honestly i dont even mind bitter so long as it’s a food and not a drink#idk im rlly picky once it becomes a liquid tho#love me some chocolate leaning further towards bitter than sweet tho#really lets the fullness of the flavor come through#because when i say i like chocolate i mean i want to be able to taste the CHOCOLATE#not chocolate flavored sugar#anyway that’s a tangent#but god ive been STARVING all day today despite eating enough to carry me through an entire day these days#before even getting home#just downed enough turkey and cheese sandwiches (grilled) that i would be full to nausea normally#and i would keep going if not for the fact that i dont want to get up and make more lol#im still hungry#we’re back baby#and for the record i never actively gained weight prior to meds either#i naturally regulated myself and stayed stable overall#so when the meds shot my appetite in the foot yeah no wonder my weight started PLUMMETING lol#i wasnt overeating before at all - i was eating normally#for my metabolism#and activity levels#so yeah lol#but anyway my appetite is back with a VENGEANCE today lol#im gonna have second dinner here soon i know it lol#four sandwiches? that’s nothing#i haven’t even had my veggies yet (was too hungry to wait for them to finish thawing)#gonna lay down for a bit before round 2 but i almost forgot what a functional appetite felt like lol#i dont like everything else about this - but it’s good to have my hunger back
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sometimes life is about grabbing a pickle with your bare hands and eating at 6 am
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I spend like an hour cooking yesterday evening and this morning, maybe an hour and an half, and I just gluped it in like... 4 minutes I think
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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my attempt at making a fursona
#i never see any mole furries so i thought id try my hand at it ^_^#i was hungry making this and was thinking of dirt cup pudding so its partly inspired by that and mario grass blocks#i dont draw furries very often so this was a fun learning experience lol. also!! star nose moles are kinda cute!!!!#when i was coming up with a name my mind kept going back to that tiktok of dogs and the tts voice saying stuff like i like mulch#mulch is my favorite food! yippee mulch!! so if youre wondering where i got the name theres the lore for it#i also wanna make a sea otter fursona.. and perhaps a snowshoe hare or other winter animal. oh or a barn owl!!#im trying to free my mind when it comes to making multiple sonas bc im still trying to wrap my head around it#ive always kinda seen myself as my persona but i want to try and be silly with it. actually while i was making this i was a little doubtful#to call it my fursona bc it doesnt look like me but a little voice inside my head was like well. youre not a 5 foot tall talking mole eithe#so you might as well. and i was thinking abt ppl with their dragon wolves with wings and i was like wow.. youre right... i can do what i#want forever. and brother that shit was enlightening it was like my third eye opened when i realized that#my art#myart#my oc#oc#fursona#mulch#furry art#sfw furry#character design#oc ref sheet#reference sheet
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Okay maybe im not normal
#this is EXTREMELY MESSY LMAOO#but idrc its still some noice art i wanna post#wooo#im so hungry ive been drawing for such a long time#my art#fnaf#william afton#five nights at freddy's#purple guy#digital art#fnaf art#fnaf william afton#fivenightsatfreddysfanart#five nights at freddys#spoiledmilks art#fnaf springbonnie
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hes wobblin'
#my art#gif#wobbledogs#wobbledogs gif#wobbledog#animation#both hungry and exhausted yet still digging!!!111 never stop the GRIND!!!!!#i love how my blog is like ah yes fandom content im obsessed with#that other random media i like and ocs sometimes#gotta keep everyone guessing#i might upload some more of my animations soon!
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thoughts on hellfire gala charles? i’m obsessed with that design
Design Wise if we mean the one by lucas werneck, theeen...... i have no clue im divided on it honestly LOL
i like the halo idea, im just not sure im totally sold on the whole execution...
ive always wanted to draw it tho so. have a scribbly if you may :)
bonus cause i need to hang him up like a set of keys
#xmen#charles xavier#professor x#xmen comics#krakoa#snap sketches#take a shot everytime i draw a mfer reaching for the camera. hes projecting his period cramps onto me is that why ive been suffering lately#but yeah idk. im not sure exactly what makes me itch about it its just noootttt my favorite. BUT ITS NOT BAD just not my favorite#if we mean the Other yellow gala outfit he wore that matched eriks .... i think i like that one a lil more#nvm i just looked at it and the collar bit still makes me laugh bro what IS THAT. its still cute tho. i think. needa look at it more....#ill have to draw THAT design some day. with erik preferably. but thats for another day#anyways. should i eat? i should eat. if at least leave my room so i can pick up a package#ohhh but im not hungry ..... maybe ill have dinner later at least
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The sheer amount of cunt packed into like three seconds. i love him. Thank you Liam.
#Jopson seems to NOT like Hoar and now I'm thinking maybe he suspected his mutinous thoughts. or at least heard Hoar talk about Crozier#in a negative light. suggesting he doesn't respect his leadership#which Jopson of course wouldn't stand for.#also Crozier doesn't seem to like Hoar very much either#the scoff...#maybe he also suspects something. Or you know. Jopson told him to watch Hoar. If Hoar shared some of those thoughts Jopson would rat him ou#to Crozier for sure#ignore this im procrastinating studying#the terror#thomas jopson#jopzier posting#edmund hoar#DW Hoar you're still my little pookie bear. i know you're scared and hurt and hungry and want to live
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