#im starting to think I may have a mental questionnaire abt this

[maiteo]

I love how you gatekeep arsenal so much like i get it I see so many new people and I know I should be welcoming but I'm who are you 🤨 all the time 🤭😅

im cryinggg😭 at first I was thought “this is me..?” then I was like…oop

i love my goonerinas yk the more coygers the better❤️ but! my guard…she’s up. like the coyg, where’s it coming from? what other teams are on your radar? can you handle the occasional, yet guaranteed goofiness? would you have survived the banter era?

see how my mind races!

[prcserpina]

hello! just wanted to ask when + why you started therapy? (if you dont mind talking about it) im just not sure about diagnosis and how all that works, and for me recently, well the past few months, have been a mental health rut but idk if its a 'mental illness' as such or just grieving/heartbreak so i just need a little help figuring this out i guess?? (thank you if you do answer!!!!xxxxx and even if you dont i totally get it :-) xxxxx)

hi friend 💗 i’m fine with talking about most of it, thank you for being so respectful abt asking me. this is probably going to be long bc i’m tired and spacey so i may ramble, sorry xx it was quite a long & drawn out process for me, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone. i started having severe panic attacks 2012 if i remember correctly, & that came with anxiety that stopped me from eating / sleeping + a lot of obsessive tendencies. i told my mom about the panic attacks a year after i began getting them and around that time i began to struggle with issues w my memory, physical exhaustion & what was the start of my dissociation. went to the doctor, got prescribed some meds to deal w deficiencies the blood tests revealed, but after a few months the symptoms were getting worse - so that was a clue that it wasn’t just physical. obsessive behaviour worsened, developed body image issues & issues w food, depression started around this time. by 2015 i was suicidal - symptoms were exhaustion, paranoia, numbness / grief & despair, disturbed sleep patterns, physical pains, being ‘teary’ (ie crying every day lol), intrusive thoughts & urges to self harm. i eventually told my parents early summer 2015, went to the doctor who referred me to a psychologist. she had a session w me which included questionnaires for diagnoses, from what i can remember, and then having deduced that i ‘needed’ therapy we began a course for the next few months which was covered by medical insurance. i finished that course december/january 2016 i think, got bad again after a few months so ended up going back summer 2016-jan 2017, again covered by insurance. finished that course of therapy, got worse again after a few months but i kept it to myself for about 6 months. during this time i went through a breakup which triggered a depressive episode (ie a couple of weeks where i was so sick i didn’t get out of bed) & the severe dissociation that i’m suffering from now, so jan 2018 i went back to the doctor who sent me back to the psychologist but also talked me through getting therapy via the nhs (which i still need to sort out) because my dad’s moved abroad so his medical insurance doesn’t cover my therapy anymore. BASICALLY. i think the general route is gp, psychologist/psychiatrist, therapy, possibly meds. there are lots of different forms of therapy - i think if you seek medical help privately you can search for a therapist who offers the kind of therapy that suits you best (e.g. cbt), but if it’s done via a healthcare system, that’ll probably be decided for you. just to clarify - you don’t have to be ‘mentally ill’ to have therapy. that’s true in my case, but heartbreak is physically painful and mentally exhausting and if you feel like you need support through it, that’s so completely fair. i hope this is somewhat helpful. i’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time & i hope things start to look up soon 💕