#im sorry it brings out a rage within me whenever im reminded.
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i want to make it clearer than anything that i hate nintendo world at universal more than anything ever and i hope it literally explodes some day i hate it i hate it and i hate everyone who goes there. except for my butch cousins but that's IT
#abby talks#HELLSCAPE. worst day of my fucking life fr#like sorry... if u had fun paying 40 dollars for a wristband to play games that last 30 seconds in giant ass queues with constant#dinging and noise and the sun concentrated bearing down on u#im sorry it brings out a rage within me whenever im reminded.#could not possibly have the buddha nature abt it. unfortch. ok trying now tho
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white rabbit pt 4
langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3)
anon: will white rabbit have a part 4? ( if yes pls pls give them a happy ending hehe ) but its oki if you dont want to, no pressure! i just really enjoyed it and i love ur writing btw :)
⚠️ : im terrible at picking up what's a trigger, so let me know is there's anything uncomfortable!
theme: general
note: ooh my heart 💔 rip white rabbit 🐇🙏🕊 anyway, here's pt 4! :> i hope you like it and enjoy it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :) i really like this chapter the most lol
≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪
"Leave... Wonderland?"
"Forever?"
Reki and Langa stared at Adam with frowns on their face. Eyes widen at the words. Whispers surrounded them quick, destroying the small silence that gave the words to settle in for everyone. Blue eyes looked back at the [h/c]-haired skater. Their head still hanged low but he could see the sheer rage their fists held.
"He's saying that... [Y/N] [L/N], the White Rabbit, is leaving S." Miya repeated.
"Forever. Meaning.... They're kicked out." Shadow sighed, shaking his head.
Hearing those words, [Y/N] gritted their teeth and unclenched their fists. They looked up at Adam, a pleading expression on their face as they pulled their hoodie back.
"P-please... I don't wanna leave." They said, voice cracked in the beginning. Langa's heart broke at the sight. But before he could do anything, Adam walked up to them. "I'll do anything, please. Let me stay!" They continued but they flinched when their board was taken away from them harshly by Adam.
"A bet is a bet. Besides, it's about time S gets rid of its pests." Adam grinned. He snapped his finger, a couple of men bringing in a can of gasoline and a box of matches. Their eyes widen. Langa and the rest of his friends stood frozen, unable to believe the scene before them. Silence took over the crowd. [Y/N] knew they couldn't do anything to stop Adam from destroying their skateboard. "You should have won and this wouldn't happen. Remember, it's your fault." He said quietly. And with sheer power, he lifted the board and broke it in half with his knee. [Y/N] stared at him with wide eyes and mouth gaped slightly in shock. Tears pooled up and streamed down their cheeks one by one, one after the other.
"N-no... please, don't..." They whispered, a hand reaching out weakly but it didn't move much. [Y/N] was too shock to move any more than an inch.
Adam threw the broken board on the ground. He was handed the gasoline and the box of matches. He poured the liquid over the pieces, his masked eyes never leaving his younger sibling's face. Their look of terror filled him with chills. He loved it. Such as he loved the finish touch to the punishment. With elegance, Adam pulled out a match and stroke it on the igniter side of the box. Fire bursts on the matchstick. Adam flicked it onto the broken board like it was nothing and within seconds, flames burst to life, consuming the skateboard.
Langa watched with horror. [Y/N] didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to leave. A bet wasn't even established. So, why? Why was this happening? His eyes went up to [Y/N].
"White Rabbit-"
"They're no longer go by that title." Adam interrupted coldly. "By losing this beef, no only are they banned from S, their title is no longer theirs to claim. White Rabbit is dead." Langa's eyes widen as his frown deepened. He couldn't believe it. This was not supposed to happen. Not supposed to lead to this results. No one supposed to be kick out or strip from their title. Adam reached a hand out. Langa saw how tensed [Y/N] got as the hand grew closer to them. The gloved fingers gently held into the S pin. It was on their collar of their hoodie but the next second, it wad ripped off from them. He threw it into the flames.
"I... I'm sorry..." [Y/N] apologized. Langa didn't understand. There was nothing to apologize for. Was it for Adam? For losing the race and everything they built for themselves? [Y/N] kept staring at the board, not noticing Adam turned his back on them. But his last words lef them in breaking in pieces.
"And don't bother coming home. A wild animal like you don't belong there. Never had and never will." As his final saying, Adam picked up his board and walked away but stopped to face Langa with a smirk. "Oh, and once again, my dear SNOW, congratulations." Langa blinked, watching Adam disappeared from everyone's sight.
"Damn..." Shadow muttered.
"Vanished from S... what a turn of events." Miya commented quietly.
Reki frowned at Adam's disappearing figure before he turned to Langa and [Y/N]. Everyone else slowly departed. Reki walked up to the two skaters, the broken board still caught in flames. Tears continued to spill from their eyes, Reki saw. Before the two could say any sort of comfort words to them, [Y/N] turned away from them and ran, ran as fast as they could. Away. They needed to get away and breathe. They couldn't breathe properly. Their chest was killing them. Sobs caught in their throat when they tried to cry. It hurts them. Their heart hurts. Everything was always their fault. They deserved. They believed they deserved it. They weren't a Shindo. They were a pest in the family. That was why Adam-no-Ainosuke told them not to come home. He was kicking them out. He was probably make up a lie to their aunts to make it seem it was their decision. For the better of the Shindo Family, they would say.
Life truly wasn't fair.
"C'mon, let's go!" Langa said, getting ready to chase after them but Reki grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He winced, the grip on his arm reminded him of the injuries he received during the race. "Wha- what? We have to go after them, Reki." He said, pointing towards [Y/N] running off.
"But you'll hurt even more with injuries like this. Besides, it's not our business. What happened with them was between them and Adam." Reki said. Miya nodded as he walked up to them.
"He's right, Langa. We should stay out of it. They're no longer of importance." Miya added in, crossing his arms over his chest. Langa frowned at the two boys.
"It's probably not the best time to even go after them. It's best that we mind our own business for now." Shadow advised, the other two boys giving affirmative responses. Langa tried to come up with reasons to go after them, but Reki shook his head and led Langa awau from the factory, pointing out the cuts once again. That was the last time Langa saw [Y/N].
The past couple of weeks, they were no were in sight. No familiar white hoodie resembling a white rabbit was found around S. No one spoke about them. It was like they never existed in the first place. As if S never heard of a skater called White Rabbit. Langa tried to find ways to get into contact with them but whenever he mentioned them, he was ignored, shut down, avoided. He was worried for them, for their safety. If Adam truly meant his words, then where would [Y/N] be? Langa wanted to make sure they were okay. That was all he wanted to know.
"[Y/N]... where are you?" Langa muttered as he walked through the park. He was planning to meet Reki at their usual hangout. Although, he wanted to clear his mind out of [Y/N] and the events that occurred. It wasn't their fault. It was his. If he never beef against them, Langa would had still see them every night at S, even from a fair distance to admire them. They would still be in his life, somehow.
"Ah, sorry..." A tired voice said. Langa looked down, not realizing he bumped into someone. He did felt something hit him as he walked, but he didn't pay too much attention. Langa opened his mouth to apologize instead but words were caught in his throat. His eyes widen. He couldn't believe it. The board in his hand dropped to the ground beside him, both hands reaching up a bit.
"It's you..." Langa whispered. Confusion replaced the apologic gaze on their face. "White Rabbit." When the title left his lips, it was their turn for their eyes to grew wide. Langa smiled brightly. "It's you, White Rabbit. [Y/N]." Langa was happy. He found his white rabbit once more. But no more words left Langa's lips as a hand slapped his cheek. It took him a second to register the outcome. A shaky hand of his reached to touch the burning cheek. He flinched when his fingers came into contact. "Wh-what?" A handprint appeared as a light red shade on his cheek. His eyes focused on them. They didn't wore their signature hoodie. Only a black one with dark blue jeans and white Vans shoes. Their eyes were still the same crimson color but filled with anger. And sadness? Langa parted his lips, unable to say anything.
"Don't call me that name. Because of you, I'm no longer.... that..." [Y/N] spat out, glaring dangerously at Langa. "You took everything away from me. You ruined my life!" They yelled, all the feelings they tried to bottle in exploded. Langa watched with a shook expression as they ranted off on him. He may be dense to others' emotions but he could pick up the hurt in [Y/N]'s voice. The way they trembled with rage. He didn't like that. Langa didn't like seeing them upset. Especially when hd was the one who caused it.
"I'm sorry."
[Y/N] paused, staring at Langa with wide eyes. Their frown grew deeper as they tried to find any sort of pity or joke in his baby blue eyes. In which they felt like they were looking at the ocean. So blue. Like the sky. [Y/N] shook their head rapidly, gritting their teeth.
"Oh, shut up. I don't need your pity. And I doubt you're sorry! Because of you, not only was I kicked out of S, I was kicked out of my home... Not like it ever felt like home anyway..." They said, mumbling the last words but Langa caught them.
"Wait? Home... Where were you staying at?" Langa asked, voice filled with concern. [Y/N] scrunched their nose, eyes narrowed. "I swear, I'm not pitying you. I'm actually... worried. I've been worried for a long time now. Ever since you left S." Langa said, looking away from them, sudden feeling timid for no particular reason. They raised a brow, watching Langa's movements to fact-check his worries. There was no hint of him lying. But they still kept their guard up. "I even asked around back in S for the past few weeks. Not one single person said anything...It's like you-"
"-never existed." They continued for him softly, eyes casted down to the ground. Their features relaxed but Langa noted the sadness stayed. No anger in sight. They sighed tiredly, running a hand through their hair. "Doesn't matter... Just stop it." [Y/N] crossed their arns over their chest, raising a brow. "Beside, the hell you kept asking about me? Aren't you happy I've been kicked?"
Langa shook his head right away once the question next their lips.
"No. I'm not happy. In fact, I..." Langa took a deep breath, trying to think on his words before they left his mouth. "I'm not enjoying myself." He mumbled, making [Y/N] take a step closer to hear him properly. They tilted their head, lips tugged down a bit as they urged him to repeat himself and keep going. "It makes me sad not to see you at S anymore. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't even know what was going on." Langa shrugged, looking at them with a pout. A pout they found adorable. He looked like a kicked puppy who didn't like the fact their owner left their home everyday. [Y/N] mentally cringed at the thought. What were they thinking? This was the same guy who went up against their brother and banned them from S. They hated him. They were supposed to hate him. [Y/N] clicked their tongue, throwing Langa off the sense, wondering if he said anything wrong. A faint red hue decorated their cheeks. They turned their back on him, hugging themselves.
"Whatever. Whether you knew what was going on or not, doesn't matter. My board got destroyed and I can't go back to S. Everything happened..." [Y/N] whispered, arms slowly fell back to their sides as they watched the sun beginning to settle down for the rest of the day. "I've got nothing... I've got no one-"
"You got me." Langa butt in. The words made them do a double take on him. It caught them off guard. And Langa continued to surprise them. A determined glint in his eyes as he stepped closer. "Reki can build you a new board and we can all skate. Together. We can skate outside of S, anyway. It'll be fun!" Langa bounced a bit in his steps, smiling brightly. "We can hang out together. And if you don't have a job, you can work with Reki and me. You even move in wi-"
"Stop..."
"We can go to school togeth-"
"Stop it."
"You got us! So, you don't have to wor-"
"Shut up!"
Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden outburst from [Y/N]. He focused back on them, confused why they told him to quiet down. Their brows knitted down, hands clutched by their side. The sunset shoned behind them. The soft breeze brushed against their figure out. And if Langa squinted, he could had notice their faint blush reddened slightly. They looked cute. He wanted to see them blush again.
"Just... why are you doing this?" They asked, their eyes looking anywhere but Langa. They were shy. They found it unbelievable but it happened. They were shy.
Langa stared at them for a moment, making [Y/N] nervous.
"Because I like you."
Those words froze [Y/N] on the spot. Their eyes widen, lips parted slightly. The words ran through their mind like an echo. Langa's charmed smile implanted with it.
"And I want to be your friend."
Impossible.
"That's..." [Y/N]'s face was burning up. Cheeks redder they matched their eyes. "That's stupid." They blurted out quickly, taking a step back. Langa frowned a bit, not unexpecting that sort of answer to his confession. A confession they weren't sure if they were happy about or sadden by it.
"No one wants to be my friend. No one likes me... That's what they always told me." [Y/N] took another step back, brows knitted down but not in anger but in sorrow. Every step they took back, Langa takes one forward. "I'm unlovable... I don't... deserve it." The young former skater shook their head, as if snapping into reality. Tears welled up on their eyes. "You don't like me. You don't. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't," They repeated quietly, hugging themselves as the tears rolled down their cheeks. Langa panicked. He didn't wanted to upset them. What they said made him wonder who told them such statements. They trembled and he didn't know what to do.
Except for one thing. And he hoped he don't get slap doing so.
Arms wrapped around their frame, a hand on their head as the other rest on their lower back. The hand stroke their head as the other ran their back in a circular form. Langa closed his eyes, hugging [Y/N] closed to him.
"Shh... shh... It's okay, [Y/N]..." He whispered. "Whoever told you those things, they... they don't know what they're talking about." Langa took a deep breath. "But I'm telling the truth. And you do deserve it." He pulled away a bit, cupping their face with his hands and made them looked at him. "I like you. I like you very much. And even though I want to be more, I do want to be your friend." Langa smiled genuinely, blue eyes staring into red ones. "So, please... let me be your friend."
[Y/N] stared at Langa, stunned in his embrace. The blush darkened as Langa continued. They couldn't believe it. Their heart pounded little by little with every word Langa spoke. The hands on their face felt nice. The comfort hug was something they never experienced. They only got hurt by the hands of those who dared say they loved them. But, for whatever reason, they trusted Langa's words.
"Please... don't hurt me..."
#sk8 the infinity#sk8#sk8 x reader#sk8 the infinity x reader#sk8 the infinity x gender neutral reader#sk8 the infinity x male reader#sk8 the infinity x female reader#sk8 x gender neutral reader#sk8 x female reader#sk8 x male reader#x reader#x gender neutral reader#x male reader#x female reader#langa hasegawa#langa x male reader#langa x gender neutral reader#langa x reader#langa x female reader#primal writes#requests
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*snoop dog vc* greetings loved ones let’s take another journey.. if you like insomniac boys with shitty pasts who don’t give a good goddamn who GOT that juicy redemption ark then do i have a deal for you ! for one easy payment of a fruit roll-up, you too could have this aforementioned fella ! ( there are absolutely no refunds bc i eat the payment immediately sorry )
☾*✧・゚:*「 lee hoseok ( wonho ). transmale. he/him. 」did you know that there’s a human in seoul named hyun jitae? they have been here for their entire life and they are an officer. they are currently twenty-five and is not a part of the ju jak and does know about the magi. i heard that they are known to be pugnacious, but worry not ! i heard they are also very stalwart too. remember to stay out of trouble, the magi are lurking around every corner ! ( markus, nineteen, he/him, cst. )
tw for transphobia, abuse, in general just some awful parenting, violence and death.
so, let’s start from the beginning, where all full stories rightfully have to. born to a hunter and housewife, he was the third of three children and was the first girl of the family. his innocence could only last so long with the corruption in his bloodlines, an ancestry of hunters stretching many years through the hyun family and long standing supporters of the ju jak cause. it was a poison that was passed down to each generation when they matured and he would be no different.
his parents had been fairly lax, bringing his twin brothers up, two years his senior, but they toughened up when he was born. jitae was expected to be their picture-perfect child, ideally one who would marry into another family of hunters to keep the lineage going, seek out magi and do as he was told. from a young age, a gender divide was very much enforced upon him ; he was told that pink was for girls, blue was for boys and all the other ridiculous stereotypes. he wasn’t allowed to play with his brothers’ toys, even though he clearly had a much higher interest in them. they insisted on having him wear skirts, even though all he really wanted to do was steal his brothers’ shirts.
his father was always far too busy to be emotionally involved with anything he was up to, his mother, though she held the same ideals as his father did, was much more encouraging – even when he seemed to only want to throw mud outside with his brothers or spend his time sat quietly maneuvering small bugs around his hands. life seemed easier then, and if you ever were to ask he’d like to come back to here, the fragile and comfortable age of five.
at nine, he officially ditches his full name and takes on the shorter, snappier shortening of it, blatantly ignoring anything else. he also ditches a lot that was forced onto him, and begins to slowly tarnish the image that has been built around him – the first step in that is cutting off long, brilliant locks with a pair of safety scissors. ( he’s grounded for a solid month for that particular endeavor after a rather long beating, but they at least take him to a barber to clean up the botched job. )
up until he was about thirteen, the veil over his eyes remained. he’d always been warned to not get to curious what his father got up to in the late hours of the night, or why his brothers always went with him. up until then – and then shit starts to hit the fan when he is thrown head first into long training sessions. he finds comfort in ripped jeans and stolen shirts, cardigans and hoodies have become his safety net. at least, he surmises, he has this one thing that he could have for his own. ( even that was something borrowed, snagged from his brothers’ closets. ) his mother seems to catch on, discreetly leaves recently bought t-shirts sprinkled within his wardrobe. he dyes his hair blonde for a few months, not without strong opposition, before returning to his natural black – he’s experimenting, more than anything else, wants to smash as many of the buttons set in front of him as possible and come into his own instead of the mold he was crammed into. teacher often being an older cousin, or his elder brothers the days his father will allow, endurance and agility training quickly become his daily after-school activity. knives and hand-to-hand combat were his favorite though, each unfortunate mistake earned him a new nick or a bloodied lip when he wasn’t quite fast enough. wasn’t quite good enough. ( even though he resented his father, he wanted him to be proud. )
at fifteen, he starts sneaking out with his elder brothers whenever they can manage. instead of paying attention to their father’s long lectures on preparation and being adaptable, the three sit outside and complain together. his brothers smoke cheap cigarettes that they buy with their minimum wage ; he steals a drag here and there, and makes his brothers swear not to tell. ( he doesn’t really care if they do, though. maybe hopes that they did. ) gets much too competitive during short spars and more than satisfied when he can manage to beat any of his older relatives.
seventeen brings a new form of rebellion, but most notably confusion about his identity. his brothers wholeheartedly accept his requests to refer to him by jitae but his father remained adamant and bigoted in his ways. outbursts aimed at him became frequent, to be dubbed unfit for the family had brought more than feelings of rage within jitae but snapped something he didn’t know he had. halfway through that seventeenth year, he’s arrested for defacing of property. ( he may or may not have painted profanity in bold red letters on some unsuspecting victim’s vehicle. ) in homage to his first arrest, many long summer days spent doing community service.
at eighteen, it seems as if all the world’s anger has seeped into his body. where mischief and joy once lingered, pure hatred for the situation around him blackens his entire being. he starts getting into fistfights, and comes home ( more often than not ) at three in the morning. if his parents wanted to disown him before, they’re on the verge of it now ; they can’t stand who he has become, and it all comes to a very ugly head when he brings a girl home and his parents find out.
everything seems to click into place, somehow working in his favor that makes even his nihilism fall silent. his father gives up the prospect of the short fuse having any use as a hunter, and that’s his chance and he takes it. flees their family home with well wishes from his older brothers who offer him a hand, an out. he politely declined, his pride always more prominent that the two combined. he lives in something like peace, it’s quiet and almost maddeningly so but he maybe can equate that to comfort. eventually manages to get access to hormone therapy, taking up a job as a cashier for some local understaffed business that was understaffed. he manages, daily phone calls to his concerned mother who’s always sure to tell him that his father still does love him. ( fat chance, he’d always butt in before she can finish the phrase. )
easing into a monotonous pattern of life comes with great difficulty but he does manage, heads to the gym near religiously everyday to work away any stresses. learning to loosen when strangers smile at him, even smiles back some days. things were fine, a little rough but fine. he’s on the cusp of twenty-four when he gets the call from his hysteric mother, his father has been killed. things.. things change then. he heads back home because he cannot abandon his mother there and leave grief to eat away at her. ( like slipping on an old glove- it fits perfectly yet it was unfamiliar. he thinks maybe this is how life truly spits in his face. ) what comes next can only be described as a domino effect.
he takes up the torch, when he knows he shouldn’t and even with the reasoning voices of his brothers. he had fallen back into the cavern he worked so hard to crawl out of, a stout pillar of the ju jak standard all over again. he is certain he doesn’t have the strength to make the climb up a second time. he keeps a pistol holstered to his thigh, a trained eye on everyone around him. heavy circles are a stain under his eyes, the scars that litter the canvas of his body remind of a past almost escaped. ( something screams that this is what he was made for, BORN FOR. NOW HERE’S THE KICKER ; he knows that once he slips, he will not rise & will only greet depravity like an old friend. )
but he doesn’t. with the reappearance of a certain elder hyun, the decision to drop his role as a hunter, fall from the ju jak emerges and it doesn’t take much deliberation on his part. he leaves, abandons the cause and everything he once stood for. ( thought he stood for; CONVINCED himself he stood for. ) joins the police to stand alongside his older brother.
personality-wise ? he’s STILL an absolute shit most of the time, pretty abrasive. y’know, rubs just about everyone and their grandmother the wrong way. he’s aggressively opinionated and he’ll break your goddamn nose if you try to pull any shit on him or his loved ones.
curses like an absolute sailor.. every other word is likely a swear.
feel free to slide on up into my ims or hit me up on discord for plots ( you might have to give me yours since i don’t think.. you cAN ADD MINE SINCE I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE A NAME OK IT’S A WHOLE THING )
#haneulintro#jitae in bryson tiller's vc: i'm back and i'm better#WE TRULY LOVE A DEVELOPMENT AND IM SO .. SAPPY.. SAD HAPPY..
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Vows [Part 4] (Jaime Lannister x Stark!Reader)
a/n: hey y'all! here's the fourth part, ahh! im having so much fun writing this story omg. i think i'll probably end it at about 7 parts? possibly more? not sure yet lol. i feel like im moving really slow and i have so mang ideas for this story lol. if y'all have any suggestions for how long i should keep this going, pleasepleaseplease let me know! anyways, enjoy!!!
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9
TAGS: @queen-of-the-north-amina
WORD COUNT: 1,586
***********************************
King Robert acted as the catalyst.
When he was killed in a hunting incident, drunk as his life was ended by a boar, Y/N's life, for lack of a better term, went to absolute shit.
Her father was arrested for treason. Sansa was captured and Arya was declared missing. The only thing between Y/N and the label of traitor was Jaime.
When Ser Meryn Trant had come to arrest her, a cruel sneer on his face at the thought of her apprehension, Jaime had made it very clear that Y/N would be staying with him.
"Y/N is not a Stark, she is a Lannister. She is my wife and the Lady of Casterly Rock and you will not grant a single thought toward her arrest. Are we clear?"
Y/N had been confused that Jaime had not let him take her, as she had barely spoken a word to him in a month. Jaime had take her chin in-between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him.
"I vowed to protect you. You are not a vow I intend to break, Y/N."
The Lion of House Lannister and the Flower of House Stark consummated their coupling that night after three months of marriage. Y/N's heart had warmed as she opened it to Jaime yet again.
After Ned's arrest, news reached King's Landing that Robb had rallied the North's bannermen and had declared against the Lannisters. House Stark was therefore in open rebellion against the crown. Robb demanded his sisters back. All three.
Certain news had also reached Y/N, after months of revolting rumors she refused to believe; suddenly, Y/N was delighted at the thought of returning home to her twin.
It may have been sheer naivety that brought Y/N to confront Jaime. Or, perhaps it was the blind rage she had been thrown into after Cersei had smirked and called Jaime 'Joffrey's father'.
As a twin herself, Y/N had promptly emptied her stomach at the mere thought of Jaime in bed with his own.
"Tell me that it's not true." Y/N had said. Her voice was steel while her heart tore itself to shreds within her chest. "Jaime. Please, in the name of the Seven, tell me that it's not true. Tell me that they aren't yours."
Jaime hadn't tried to play the fool. He had only brought his eyes up to meet Y/N's, silently confirming her suspicions.
“Oh, gods.”
Tears had gathered in her eyes and they ran silently. Y/N didn't say another word. She had regarded him coldly and exited their chambers, presumably to visit her Lord father.
And although her exterior had been cold like the North in her veins, when Y/N climbed stiffly into bed that night, Jaime knew he had broken her heart when she whispered into the dark: "You lied."
Soon after Robb's declaration of war, Jaime was called upon by Tywin. He had been vehemently against Y/N accompanying him, but after seeing the tension of King's Landing and the unadulterated loathing of Cersei's gaze every time it landed on Y/N, he had her handmaidens pack her things and had practically dragged her along with him. Marital problems or not, he would not leave her to be mauled by Cersei.
When Y/N awoke one night in the Lannister camp to Jaime hurriedly donning his armor, firmly telling her to remain in the tent and that he'd come back for her, she was calm.
As intensely as she loathed herself for it, Y/N cared for her husband. Although she had opened her heart to him only to have it ripped from her chest by his twin of all possible mistresses, Jaime held a place in her.
But Y/N was of the North. Robb was her brother. And he was there to take her home. Y/N dressed herself, took her sword from the bottom of her trunk where she had hidden it from Jaime, and left the tent. Marriage or not, love or not, Y/N fought for House Stark.
Two thousand Northmen died that night, all for the sake of Jaime's capture. Y/N watched over Robb's shoulder as Jaime was dragged away while she stood and reveled in her twin's embrace. She could not bring herself to meet Jaime's eyes.
The raven informing the Starks of Ned's execution arrived the very next morning.
=========================
"You are no knight. You have forsaken every vow you ever took."
Catelyn Stark regarded the Kingslayer where he sat in his makeshift cell, her eldest daughter at the forefront of Jaime's mind.
Y/N was somewhere in the Stark camp where they currently resided, in a tent with her twin, helping him to plan his next move against the Lannister army. Her army, technically. But Jaime could not bring himself to feel betrayed by his wife.
Circumstances were circumstances, family was family, and Jaime Lannister understood that better than anyone.
Brienne of Tarth stared down her nose at the Lion. He was smaller up close. Not in stature, as he stood over six feet, but in general. The stories made Jaime Lannister the Kingslayer sound like a creature, a monster, some terrifying yet glorious, ethereal being. But the man in front of Brienne was human. A vile human, but a human nonetheless.
Jaime spoke, his eyes never leaving Lady Catelyns. "So many vows. They make you swear and swear and for what?"
Jaime's mind whispered, answering his own question. For honor. For safety. For family. For Y/N. For things you could never hope to deserve.
"Obey your father, obey the king, be loyal to the king, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the king? What if the king massacres the innocent? It's too much."
Catelyn features didn't do well to hide her disgust. The Tully's along with the Starks and all of the North practiced honor. They lived with honor, they fought with honor. Jaime Lannister was unassociated with the word.
"And anyways, I haven't forsaken the vow I made to your daughter, now have I?"
Catelyn tensed as the mention of Y/N fell from his lips.
"Don't you dare bring her into this. Those men out there want your head and I have half of a mind to bring it to them."
Jaime ignored her threat, continuing on about his wife. "Why should I leave Y/N out of this? She is the Lady Lannister now. 'From this day until my last day', we said. It was quite beautiful. I'm sorry you had to miss it."
Brienne stepped forward to defend her new ladyship. "And your last day is coming, Lannister."
Jaime just held his smirk in place, although he wasn't sure it was visible though the layers of grime on his skin.
"Do tell my darling wife to come visit me. She is the only person in this camp who keeps me company and I miss her dearly."
Y/N had visited Jaime a handful of times since his capture. Her visits were always filled with off-handed spite and vague anger, but Jaime enjoyed her visits. They were progress in his eyes and Jaime gained more and more hope for their future every time Y/N granted him a smile.
"Anyways, where did you find that she-beast?"
Catelyn narrowed her eyes.
"Brienne is a truer knight than you will ever be, Kingslayer."
Jaime rolled his own eyes, his face not betraying the twinge of hurt that gripped his heart whenever someone called him Kingslayer to his face.
"Kingslayer," Jaime scoffed. "What a king he was. Here's to Aerys Targaryen, Second of his name, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the realm." Jaime's smirk made it's way back onto his face. "Holder of the sword I shoved through his back."
Catelyn's expression remained passive, as did Brienne's. Their faces did nothing to give way to the disgust they felt, nor the quiet agreement. Aerys had been a mad-man, intent on letting Westeros burn before giving up the throne. But, no matter how vile he had been, the Kingslayer had still broken his vow to protect the King with his life.
"You are a man without honor."
Jaime was quiet for a moment.
"You know, I had never been with any woman but Cersei until I married Y/N. I hadn't been with Cersei in years, almost five, when we came to Winterfell. Even then, five years with nothing, I let the poor young thing wait until she was comfortable enough to let me between her legs."
Jaime wished the words would stop coming, stop pouring from his mouth. He was dishonoring his wife with every word. He wished his entire force of being that he would stop, but he kept going. The ease with which Jaime said these things told him that this had been his façade for far too long. That he had been on Cersei’s leash for far too long.
"So, in my own way, I have more honor than poor old dead Ned. What's the name of the bastard that he fathered? Snow?"
Jaime saw the way Catelyn tensed and knew that he had found a sore spot. "You hated that boy, didn't you? A constant reminder that the honorable Lord Eddard Stark fucked another woman."
Catelyn demanded Brienne hand over her sword, and the knight hesitantly obeyed.
Lady Stark brought the sword to Jaime's neck, eyes narrowed. She held it there, the cool metal pressing against Jaime's skin in silent threat before she lowered it.
"If Y/N weren't with your child, I'd have your head, Kingslayer."
Jaime's mask crumbled, his eyes widening. He strained against his chains as though Y/N were right in front of him
"Y/N is with child?"
Catelyn nodded, she and Brienne preparing to leave the cell.
"A child that hopefully never has the displeasure of meeting its father."
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