#im sorry i wasn't enough though
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crazyspookies · 6 days ago
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ill have to look at the thing again but it's frustrating that i finished the episode and didn't quite understand what happened.
#arcane#ill watch it again when im ready obvs but rigth now#the alternate timelines and timeloops have me confused#like older viktor jesus where did he come from is he a different iteration of viktor that stayed hexxed but not machined heralded#when did whatever iteration of him decide to give every iteration of little jayce a rune when did he have the time to do that#im sorry im thtoopid i don't get ittt#i only understand why they didn't blow up cause i saw someone else explain it#ok im thinking about it now this is what im understanding:#wasn't that encounter what fascinated Jacy into wanting to create magic doesn't it mean that the whole machining#would precisely be avoided if that never happened so what is the point of creating that first meeting#(but if hes machine herald wouldn't he be unable to feel it? does he Not become machine heral in those? but jayce's machined corpse#is still on the roof so?? How does normal looking arcane mage viktor happen where does he come from how does he know what to do)#viktor in every timeline where he wins and fuckall years later hes liek ''hmmm don't like that''#so he goes back in time wiht his arcane powers and just gives different runes to jayce to see if something works?#he's known him for years so he kows this is a timeloop so eh only changes that every single rune and sees what happens??#until he gets to the acceleration rune that ekko uses to fuck up time and gives jayce enough time to be liek yo baby don't do this ur perfe#and jayce hugs him and victor is able to see what the world n his life is like in all those other timelines and hes like damn that sucks#and something something about them activating the acceleration + ekko¡s inversion of the rune of his device does some sciency thing#and they shoomp hand in unedited hand out of existence sacrificing themselves so that everything doesnt go boom#still though if jayce Had died in the snow wouldn't all this have been avoided#like sorry honey boo but also deos this mean that viktor is like yeah no im saving him anyway#or does it mean that it being a timeloop it just HAS to happen or the universe blows up or soemthing¿¿¿
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klutzytomb · 20 days ago
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I'm posting this for transparency reasons
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obnoxiousarcade · 5 months ago
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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think
#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been#staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo#im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely#ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn#i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love#talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for#another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um#.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON#the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont#think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have#to#NO MORE BEING A DOWNER#fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time#okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh#I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them#hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin#you what you think of him.#um third person..... um#okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit#im gonna delete this soon#Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that#i dont think anyones going to see this as is always#i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months ago
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i just finished saw v and i don't have high hopes for the rest of the franchise (based on what ive heard) but im in too deep to stop now
#no i haven't enjoyed the last two no i don't expect to get much out of the next five or so movies. but i need to know.#i guess saw v mightve suffered bc i watched it basically immediately after iv#something i didnt do with any of the others#but i was told v was one of the good ones so i was looking forward to it. i dont think it was burnout yknow#but uh. i didn't like it. i think i liked iv more honestly. strahm and hoffman do absolutely nothing for me#i liked the traps. that was it though#it felt so pointless and empty. it was the first one where i genuinely wondered why they made it. why did they decide to keep going with#this. i think ii and iv both function more/better as setup for their following films but like. at least iii was pretty good yknow#like both amanda and hoffman's accomplicing feels kinda retconned in but at least amanda's an interesting character#what does hoffman have. what does strahm have. nothing. and no i don't think they have much in the way of homoeroticism either.#i don't tend to be so negative and im sorry if someone goes in the saw tags and feels bad about me talking shit about something they like#because i know that doesn't feel good. honestly i'd love to hear why people like v. maybe it'll change my opinion of it if i look at it a#different way yknow? but for now im just annoyed by it. iv was engaging in the moment but very forgettable#i liked riggs well enough but we barely learned a thing about him. he wasn't a deep character at all and i think that's a shame#but v was just a paperwork-based cat and mouse chase. 90 minutes and it still felt like they were wasting my time#why did strahm go to the old trap locations? i don't think he found anything out there. likr it was just a framing device for the flashback#but he didn't actually have a reason to go there. waste of my time#not an original critique im sure but saw ii on seems to be more focused on scale and layers of shit (i.e. having two games going at once)#than using the traps to examine the characters. i mean you go from two guys in a bathroom for a couple hours#learning about who they are gradually at a slow pace vs like 8 people in a house plus cop stuff plus 90 second traps of dubious fairness#hoffman has no real relationship with kramer (unlike amanda) and basically everyone who'd been following jigsaw is dead and so are jigsaw#and (presumably) amanda. what am i supposed to be here for? the vague outline of a saw trap? the type of torture happening?#im not even opposed to that per se but frankly the more they focus on the cops surrounding this shit the less fun it is#why are you making all the traps like 15 seconds long and tied to characters who aren't the primary focus. it's saw#ughh i miss adam. i miss amanda. hell i miss kramer and he was pretty present in this one (flashbackwise)#whateverrr. anyway that poll comparing chainshippng shotgunnshippng and coffinshippng where shotgun was last? lesbophobic.#im only half joking about that. im sure ppl have their reasons for coffin but i also think it's the tendency fandom bias for “two white guy#ships. but hey maybe vi and onwards will add more context to that that'll make me reconsider. i mean i wouldn't have liked the amanda#accomplice thing That much if i'd only seen ii. i think iii really makes it mesh better and it leads to fun character stuff#(though i still think i would've liked it more bc like. amanda was always grateful to jigsaw right? again hoffman comes outta nowhere)
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spinoff-antithesis · 2 years ago
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[@distinguished-turtle-enjoyer ]
i actually have not stopped thinkin bout your bb!edit like,,,, its so good and scratches my brain right
how long have you been doin edits for? do have any tips for someone, who hypothetically, wants to start doin edits too? what programs do you use? how did you do the cool animated bits?
im so sorry for all the qustions 😭😭 i just think youre very talented and inspirational and i hope you have a good day ^_^
hi firstly oh my gosh you're literally so sweet i am gently shaking you i love you so much /p. secondly, i apologize for the long answer! (it's all under the cut. this got away from me. i'm so sorry apparently i have a lot to say.) (also you're so good about the questions i would constantly be asking one of my professors questions during class to the point where she said i didn't have to go "i have a question" every time i approached her)
i've been editing since 2016! around march/april, i think? loved it so much i went into film & video production in college as a major so i could do editing for a living. (i have done more motion graphics for my classmates than i have done edits outside of class assignments, BUT!)
the program i use is after effects - i started learning it when covid first hit the united states because i had nothing better to do with my time (other than music theory but i failed that bc my professor focused more on the history aspects than the actual theory soooo) and my ipad kept giving me the "no more storage" whenever i tried to use videostar lmao. (vs has, apparently, gotten a LOT of good updates, so if you're looking to start editing and have an ios system, i'd look into it! only downside is you have to pay for some of the cool stuff).
also the program i use for masking (i think i explain this later dwdw) is superimpose. i've been using it since 2014 and it's SO nice bc i can use my fingers to erase backgrounds & stuff instead of hoping i can get it to work correctly in ae or photoshop (photoshop my DETESTED i'll use it but i'll complain the entire time).
for people who want to start editing: tutorials on how your program works and how to do specific transitions are gonna be your best friend when you're first figuring things out! i forced a friend to literally walk me through how after effects worked when i was first figuring it out, and when i had swapped to videostar back in 2017/2018(?) i had watched a Lot of tutorials. that and played around a lot and figured things out on my own - which is also always a good way to start!! it's also totally valid to look at other people's edits for inspiration - most editors don't really care, as long as you don't flat-out remake their edit (some people don't like that!). i have a style insp folder on instagram where i save edits that i like so if i need transition ideas or i'm doing a different style, i can look there for inspiration. at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun with it that's all that matters!
also, starting simple is always okay!! my edits for a year were just me slapping gifs & video segments together on a timeline in cute cut pro bc imovie didn't load them lol & it'd crash every time i breathed. ++ it never hurts to ask people for feedback/constructive(!!!) criticism/etc! (also not to sound like everyone else but practice? good. it's so good. if i showed my 14/15y/o self some of the edits i can make now they would've passed out on the spot bc i was still trying to figure out transitions back then. programs can also sometimes make a difference in edits, but usually it's not super noticeable until you start getting to the Complicated Shit.)
a lot of popular programs i've seen are ones like video star (ios only), alight motion (android only), after effects (i recommend 🏴‍☠️ing it tbh, i only use it legally bc i had to use adobe programs for school), capcut, and i think some people still use sony vegas pro & maybe cute cut pro (i've heard it may have actually gotten better since i last used it in 2018)? i have no idea. programs also depend on whatever device you're using to edit on! since i've been using my laptop, i'm able to use after effects (it's computer-only), but when i used my phone/ipad to edit i used ccp & vs.
for the animation - it's a lot of cutting up the image and masking! more complex animations, like the one i had of leo walking down that red 'hallway' have several different layers that have been masked. (i removed the background & filled in the spot where leo originally was in two different apps - superimpose (taking leo out) & photoshop (filling in the bg)) in after effects, the way i've done this was mask out the specific thing i wanted to move (like an eye) and then put that mask on what i've called a "base" (not animated), and then stick a solid behind the base to match the color of the object. (some of my layers are not named appropriately; base 2 is the left arm & the four "SIX_[...]" layers are the mask/bandana tails)
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an example of this would be for any of the eye blink animations i did! this (above) is the same shot, with and without the eye - since it's masked out and i have the background solid behind it, it doesn't look too unnatural/have a black outline/mass where his eye should be.
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what it looks like without the solid layer behind it ^ (the red lines are from the null layers - ignore that)
this is what my timeline looks like if it's a more simplistic animation - the only five things being animated here are leo & raph's eyes. (there's only this many layers bc it's two characters in one shot & i was also animating their pupils - typically, an eye-blink animation is about 4-6 layers for me (solid, base, mask, & null to animate with, 6 if i'm animating both eyes & 4 if just one))
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in after effects, there's this really cool tool called the puppet pin that one of my friends (lovingly) yelled at me for not knowing about - which. yeah fair she wasn't wrong it's SUPER useful in animating, provided you chop up your image first. if you don't it's a mess.
(separated by layer vs i should've really put the mask tails & leo's head on separate layers and didn't bc that was the 2nd to last animation i had to do and i was losing my mind bc i wanted to be done with the edit lmao)
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the way people animate depends all on their style (there's two common ways to do blinking animation - having the anchor point at the bottom of the eye, or the middle of it) and the program they use. it's been a while, but i could probably tell you how to do some basic animations on videostar still even though i've been doing them in after effects for about 2-3years now. ALSO the best way to have an animation be noticeable is to over-exaggerate it/make them Big - which, yes, can mean 'breaking bones' and having the limbs be a little wonky at the start. (if you want it to be realistic though go Just to the point where it looks uncomfortable lmao)
uhm. again i am so sorry that this is so long i THINK this is everything? if not: my inbox/dms are always open if you ever want to ask more questions, wanna follow up on something, etc etc!! (also if you ever start editing please send me your edits!!! i'd love to see them <3)
#this got away from me im SO sorry (just put this in google docs out of curiosity. 1255 words. i am so sorry for the essay.)#uhm. ANYWAY YES like i said if you have any other questions feel free to reach out!!! i am always alway willing to help people out#with stuff like this!!! i can talk your ear off though if this wasn't enough proof of that /j#if nothing makes sense it's bc i'm responding to this at like. 5am my time. so. my bad if there's typos i'm so sorry#like i think i saw this ask at 4:40ish am and i'm still making sure i've got everything covered and its like 5:32am LMAO#me when i dont sleep bc i have no routine now#ask box pals#art creds in the screenshots to trubblegumm !! <- tagging to be safe#still in shock at the amount of positive feedback im getting from my bb!leo edit like oh my god you guys are incredible ilysm /p#sorry i discovered in the middle of typing out my tags that you can edit them now after you've hit enter where am i.#also this is offtopic so its down here but i am Not complaining about doing more motion graphics than actual editing.#a bitch has won two awards for their motion graphics at festivals and i've been doing them for a YEAR#(laughs in the first time i ever did a real one i won a student award. idk how. but i DID and i won the pro category this year <3)#it would be nice tho to do more editing for short films tho :( had a professor tell me i was good at it.#i should rly start using my camera and shoot my own stuff and edit it huh. maybe i will eventually i have a few ideas.#anyway. i need to stop rambling abt my experience as a film student and go to bed i apparently need to be up in the morning but idk WHEN
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josephslittledeputy · 1 year ago
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Okay but not only am I curious af about the fic (can you spoil a lil more maybe 👀) but also: Where could one read it, if you did the username change? ALSO ALSO: You can do it!! And it is very nice to read that you are so excited and happy. Keep at it!! ✨
Here's the link to my AO3 :) I know I've gone through a few username changes, so that's my bad, but I believe this one is here to stay! (For a long while at least) and oho boy, can I spoil it! I honestly have to refrain from posting spoilers anytime I make a post about it haha
So Willa's dark AU contains some supernatural elements and is broken into two parts, with They Watch From The Pews being part 1 & They Watch From The Trees being part 2. Both are set in Hope County (obvi), but part 2's Hope County is just a liiittle different. Changed, per se... Which is all I'll say on that, ha
Putting a read more since things get kinda long under the cut.
Pt. 1 Summary: Former Deputy, Willa Rook, is on a mission to retake Hope County from Eden's Gate. It should be easy, right? Just blow a few things up, rescue some people, take out the Heralds and she's golden! But things are not always as they seem. There's something someone much darker and sinister pulling the strings behind the scenes. The longer she stays in each Heralds grasp region, the more hazy and confusing things—and the line between good and evil—become. When she's teetering on the brink of the abyss, will she turn back? Or will she go into free fall and see where it takes her?
Additionally, there are a few things that Willa's done—and seen—prior to coming to Hope County that she'd rather not remember. If anyone ever found out about them, well, it certainly wouldn't shine a favorable light on her. Unfortunately, the Seeds (specifically John) pry these things out of her and, well, once that door to the mind is open... who knows what could get in 👀
Pt. 2 Summary: Everything we know about Hope County has changed. After the bombs dropped and Eden's Gate took over, it's never been the same. But have no fear! If you join them, you will be loved and protected and you'll never have to be alone again! Doesn't that sound just absolutely wonderful? Lots of other people think so too! Or, that is, until they've broken the rules (intentionally or otherwise) and then that's when They come for you. Who's They, you ask? Oh, don't you worry about it! Just don't break the rules and don't ever go into the Tainted Woodlands and you'll be juuuust fine! :)
Long story short, the fic is pretty much my attempt at a transcendental horror! If that isn't satisfactory enough, here's the link to my other side blog where I post more spoilery stuff :) Pt. 1 & Pt. 2 also have their own respective tags! (TW: Gore, blood, body horror, angst, etc)
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yousaytomato · 2 years ago
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Trying my hardest not to be anxious and sad about things that have already happened and that I can't do anything about now. But How
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cerbreus · 2 years ago
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actual cake did not turn out well it turned out poorly overall. still edible but like, not “i want to finish this slice and eat more tomorrow” edible
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macabrevampire · 2 months ago
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sobbinggggg he got dealt such a shitty fuckin hand in life n no one had his back :( like yeah he has issues but all he's ever done is try to get by. being looked down upon by your sibling is the hardest part of it all, no matter how much better mikey got it was never good enough for bosco- or anyone, really. he truly did make a sincere effort to turn his life around for the better, but no one gives a shit about your progress unless you've hit the "finish line" of being fully recovered and even then, they don't respect you as a human because of the mistakes you've made
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drop--pop--candy · 5 months ago
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thinking abt The Memory Issues again. sad!
#marin complains#thinkin abt how hard it is to explain that my brain just throws out basically all my good memories#thinkin abt how no apologies will ever be enough for how awful of a friend i am because of that#thinkin abt how people automatically assume they must not be important enough if i forgot something#but it's not that at all!! if i've forgotten a lot about you you're probably MORE important to me than the average person#but nobody gets it!! because that's a strange and awful thing to do#and i wish it wasn't like this. but it is.#anyways this post is brought to you by me Knowing I'm Forgetting Something. but i don't know what#im like 80% sure it pertains to a friend in some way but i don't even know which one#i am such a terrible friend UGHHHHH can't remember anything#it's not at all because my friends aren't important enough. my friends are sososo important to me. but my brain only remembers bad things#the most important person in my life is my sister who i've spent my whole life with and i remember very little about her#because i've spent my whole life watching and protecting and on edge#and when you're constantly in fight or flight mode you don't have time to save the good memories#you have to stay vigilant. you have to memorize everything about the person who poses a threat#and so i did but it came at a cost#anyways. yea. friends if you're reading this i am so so so so so sorry god i'm so sorry i wish i could remember i really do#i try my hardesy i write things down when i'm able even though the risk is immense because of my mother#but it's just not enough it's never enough#i'm sorry i'm so sorry i don't expect you to ever forgive me but i hope you can find it in you somewhere
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probablyaseamonster · 10 months ago
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getting serious Fionna and Cake flashbacks from that Sozonius comic ngl
Introducing Follower gang!
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There. Finally did all the Bishops follower designs!
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The 7 deadly sins
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And some other follower gang, done with lineart this time because the other 2 pieces made me lose my soul for how long they took.
(Also a small HC if I may: Dr. Sozonius is trapped inside the mushroom on Sozos head, while the actual mushroom is controlling his body)
+ some more doodles
Info about the 7 Sins and more doodles below:
Jeg represents Greed - he was one of the first of Lamb's followers. (At first, it was very difficult for Lambert to indoctrinate people, due to their inexperience, this guy was like the 5th or so) Jeg has...a very specific personality to say the least, yet the Lamb can't help but be fond of him. They eventually nominate him the Tax enforcer role and...That might've been the worst decision of their life. But they did not take the role away. Jeg acts smug 24/7 and relishes in his new power, but deep down, dudes pretty insecure, ( but don't tell anyone!) He used to have a huge crush on the lamb, but then Narinder and eventually the other bishops came, and since their leader was for some reason head over heels for the ex god of death, Jeg grew bitter and often got into fights with Nari, as well as charging him and his other siblings more than the average follower. Though he's mostly mellowed out since then.
Brash represents Gluttony They despise Helob, since they used to fight for "food" a lot, and eventually Brash got really injured and was found by the Lamb. She tried to eat them, but was quickly disarmed. Despite this, they decided to spare him and bring his sorry ass back to the cult to indoctrinate. They were very cunning and didn't trust the lamb either, but eventually they cooled off and accepted the new life. She still eats people tho, just not from the cult, otherwise jail or *worse*
Yara represents Pride She is one of the core followers. She's very strict and somewhat self-centered, she likes things done her way, or if not her way, the lambs way. Period. No one else can boss her around or even give a helpful advice. She's actually a pretty stand up deer, and despite being incredibly stubborn still makes a good friend. She gets along with most people though Brash annoys her, since he keeps snatching body parts off corpses. She has always been extremely devoted to the lamb and will be annoyed if any follower dissents and tries to preach against them. She wasn't surprised in the slightest when they eventually took down all the bishops.
Thorn represents Envy He had a pretty terrible life before the cult. When he was brought in, she was bitter about her newfound situation. He wasn't very trusting of the lamb and thought they expected something out of her (which technically they did, but it's just work). He envies the fools who are so oblivious and just do everything as they're told and let their lives be guided by some amateur god. Similar to the other two, he puts on a mask, He often acts overly saccharine to hide his true feelings, but doesn't have any bad intentions. (Most of the time) She does genuinely like some people, but others, he only pretends to like to appease the lamb or to blackmail them. He hates when the people he actually cares about are threatened.
Jermo represents Wrath Jermo absolutely does not trust anyone. Similar to Thorn, and most other followers tbh, their life was absolutely horrible prior to the cult. They trusted some people, they got betrayed, and almost died several times because of it. It was extremely difficult for the lamb to make them stop dissenting. They legit had to give them the loyalty necklace in order for them to finally stop dissenting. Jermo keeps getting into fights with other followers, because they feel as though everyone is always against them or is constantly judging them. (They're technically not wrong) They've died 5 times, because they keep getting into fights with other followers. Lamb strongly considered keeping them dead, but decided to challenge themself with them (also they're too cuddly to just be killed off) Despite their many, *many* flaws, Thorn has a huge crush on them, since he's one of the people who managed to see their soft side. Jermo, deep, deep, deep down actually cares a lot, but they've been hurt too much by everyone, so they retaliate for the same stuff to not repeat.
Herett represents Lust At some point, she passingly heard about the cult and since it seemed like a peaceful place from the rumors (and also had hot people in it) she eagerly joined in. She's usually in the kitchen area, if not hanging around the love tent or babysitting some kids. She crushes on almost everyone, but for some reason she hates Kallamar (legit in my actual game she rejected him so hard, despite having the lustful trait and not caring prior)
Mateo represents Sloth Is perhaps the 1st or 2nd of Lambs followers, so they're absolutely not letting go of him, dudes lived 4 long lives and is tired of it, he keeps switching jobs since with age he's been slacking off more. He's currently stuck as a janitor (he hates it) He's also one of the few people who managed to befriend Jermo, his mellow, don't care attitude is somewhat comforting to them. Aside that, he gets along with almost everyone, as best as he can at least.
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Not much else to say about the gang in the third pic but Riley and Dannie are platonic bffs and were forced to babysit kids when the lamb was crusading. The lamb was a little incompetent here to give carnivores children to take care of, but thankfully they actually managed to be good with them and got used to being on nanny duty.
The capybara (Beige) is a retired teacher and adopted a little owlet to take care of (Chip)
While Femur is our below yellow cat, and that's my HC name for him. He's a gatherer here.
#Cotl#Cotl followers#Cult of the lamb#Rip kallamar lol#His self-esteem's shit enough as it is#Also so valid of Herett to be lustful towards literally every gender and type except sub cis men#And/or not having a tentacle kink#Can't exactly relate to all of that but I respect a woman who knows what she likes#Also I thought Yara was a cow at first too because I forgot that “meat cow” wasn't a variant#Which I thought would be funny because then we'd have a butcher cow and a cook cow#Also thought she'd be Envy because of it#Genuinely was not expecting the two-faced Thorn#Fanart would bang though I think#Lastly I relate to Jermo#For many reasons actually#Also the particular hatred for Shamura is extremely intriguing for me personally#Anyway I think this might be a sign that I might actually be they/them. I haven't been sure (AFAB) but I have been heavily considering it#... or I shouldn't be basing my gender off of someone else's interpretations of their fictional cult followers from a video game.#Finally I already like Femur a lot but that's mostly because of a character in a different video game who is my daughter#Do you ship him with Leshy?#And speaking of Leshy#How does he interact with Thorn as a coworker?#Something tells me the former God of Chaos and the sin of Envy would NOT get along#But only one of them would press the other on it#God this reminds me of me and my sister#I really hope you don't write a scene like this because I might start hating Thorn#Not genuinely but like. Because she'd respond to confrontation the same way two people in my life actually do#So... nothing wrong with that#But also that's practically incest-#IM SORRY IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN IT IT WAS A JOKE
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fragglerockopinions · 7 months ago
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Am I just a bad person. I don't think anything I've done has ever made people bitter and have a years long grudge against me? Or I'm the only person in the entire world who experiences this kind of feeling and I'm just an asshole. I still hold very hard grudges towards even people I like and am friends with because they won't apologize for something terrible and harmful they did to me and I don't want to let it go because it changed the trajectory of my entire life.
#If you're reading this it's not about you#This is about people who don't use tumblr or follow me and don't use tumblr enough for me to be worried about them seeing it#I know no one ever ever ever has bad intentions and accidents happen and mistakes and stupidity happen#and I know you didn't mean it and you have your reasons and it sucks that I'm such a fucked up bitchy bitter piece of shit#But like I moved into the dorms specifically for you and then you abandoned me day of n had a whole house all ready to go with roommates :(#Roommates who weren't me and who you were infinitely better friends with and I wasn't invited to join. :((#You made me leave your house even though I said I couldn't and I had a breakdown on the highway and almost committed suicide :((#I said I was scared to be alone in my dorm and I was out of food and needed to go to store and too scared and after that my car#was longer a safe place either and I told you this and you said 'clean your car and buy yourself a trinket from goodwill' :((#All this semester I skipped so many meals becaus I couldn't go to the store and I told you and you said to 'just go to the dollar store' :(#You called the police bc I was 'missing' even though I was literally in the room next to yours and you didn't FUCKING BOTHER TO CHECK ON ME#WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU????#god im so bitter im such a genuine actual garbage shit person please don't ever be friends with me I am actually going to#throw up thinking about what a terrible piece of shit I am. what is wrong with me. why cant i just be a good person#I can't let these little fucking mistakes go why does anybody waste their time and energy and breath and life on me#nothing i say can ever be normal every word i say is a vent because nothing good has ever happened to me.#fucking apparently. I'm genuinely so sorry for ever making any of you cross paths with me.#I promise you I'm going to kill myself soon and I'm so so so so sorry it wasn't sooner :((
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i-love-dopamine · 9 months ago
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someone tell me how my dad just managed to make my adhd struggles about him because what the fuck
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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year ago
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jumpscared by least favorite seasonal chore
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#I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST LEAVING IT THIS YEAR SINCE IT WAS SO LATE. FUCK THE GRASS IT'S SHITTY GRASS#it's almost xmas why did you not rake the yard while i was um. not around#IT SUCKS OKAY. I"M NOT A TEAM PLAYER#ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND MANDATORY POINTLESS YARDWORK#it hurts my back and my joints and it takes me forever and it's always stupid bright outside and i hate kicking the rakes and it's never#good enough because if i'm raking the yard it should be perfect right?? it always turns into a 3 day thing and the yard isn't even that big#we just all suck at it except for my dad so he spends the whole time being like well why don't you just do it this way. dad i CANT that's#why i'm doing it my way. it's shittier but it's Possible and yours is not. bruhgh i hate raking the yard sorry that's all#i am feeble and sore and i hate moving please don't make me do this#he's like why do you sit on the ground to scrape the leaves into the bags girl what else do you want me to do. i can barely do the dishes#without sitting sometimes and you want me to rake for 6 hours??? what?????#look i know this is mostly trivial but it sucks okay. fuck my stupid baka life#i have been exactly this bitter about such chores my whole life and im not stopping now. i hate being made to do stuff on a whim that hurts#me for an entire day when i wasn't expecting it okay. i feel like that's a normal response adults are allowed to have even though children#are not. something something children's autonomy etc#and honestly i just hate being in my yard doing manual labor in full view. you should not be able to see me moving around what ew gross#(<- super weird about being perceived doing anything physical) (<- hates being seen moving awkwardly and so anything but small practiced#movements are just. agh. unless they're silly and i can make them smoother but like exertion? No. oh my god i hate that)#shit like oh i don't wanna put a bra on bc that's uncomfy but what if my neighbors ogle me while they drive past i don't want that#just some gangly twink failing a basic task in the clumsiest way possible and fucking all their joints at the same time. sucks. hate#(<- man i don't even feel right EATING around people for the most part like. you want me to RAKE?? movement is a performance and you put me#up there with no rehearsal no script nothing just the wikipedia page for hamlet. i can't do this all of a sudden. what. what)#(<- i just. waughhUAGHH i hate it so so much i don't like it okay. for reasons that are yet to be diagnosed)#(<- no body language is natural to me so it must be practiced to feel natural AND YOURE PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT. IT FEELS WEIRD)#aughh. if i had the leaves on a table and a chair or something i'd be better. not great but better. but all the bending over and crouching#and scooping and getting leaves under my gloves and the scary scuttly bugs and scraping myself on the branches mixed in on accident i just#do not like it. gross#ugh at least now i have wireless earbuds. used to yank out my corded ones with the rakes pretty regularly and Oh Boy Did That Not Improve M#Situation There like. whewwww#and my dad's always like hey i know we're starting late (it's past noon here) but ummm i'd really appreciate it if we could really push
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pepper-rex · 1 year ago
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how is engineer my 2nd most played class like!!! i get so scared. i don't know where to put stuff on a majority of the maps....i'm so bad at moving teleporters it should be a crime...all i know is shoot shotgun....
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fict1onallyobsessed · 20 days ago
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OKAY OKAY COULD YOU PLEASE WRITE SMTH ABOUT SEVIKA PROTECING READER BECAUSE OF SOMETHING LIKE HERE ON THIS PIC SHE PROTECTS JINX AND ISHA??
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im sorry if i wrote something wrong but english is not my first language😭🙏
OF COURSE !!!!!!! I have an idea for this...
I got a little carried away and gave you more LOL sorry
Sevika x Fem!Reader
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She grabbed you before you could process the fan being turned on. Thankfully, you weren't too far from the table that protected you both, otherwise you would have been swept with the air flow violently.
Your side hurt. The shot Caitlyn took must have not only pierced your skin but the force broke your rib too. Whatever the gun was made of was strong enough to go through the stone pillar behind you partially as well.
Safe to say it hurt as fuck.
You clutched your side and winced as Sevika crouched with you in front of her, the stone table keeping you sat up, but barely. Sevika's new metal arm grabbed onto the table and kept her put, the other going to hold your side with you.
You weren't sure whether your adrenaline was keeping you lucid or if the shot wasn't truly that bad. Regardless, you didn't want to hang around much longer.
You looked up at your girlfriend, head slightly bouncing off the stone behind you as you rested it. She looked worried, and although nothing but pain was filling your sense, you found the energy to sigh and show her a small smile.
Her hair was flying around with the wind, her face showing slight worry and mostly focus as she tried to keep you both behind the table.
"You'll be fine." She mouthed, and you couldn't do much more but nod. You trusted her. You believed her...but the blood slowly seeping through the cracks of your fingers, and onto her hand covering yours, it was looking more like you were not going to be fine.
The wind seemed everlasting and the longer you sat there, waiting for it to stop, the dizzier you became.
You wanted to see Sevika's face for as long as you could. Taking in her scowl of concentration, the barely noticeable glint of nervousness in her eye when she met yours, the shiny scar across her cheek.
You thought she was leaning down to get out of the wind more, but instead she leaned down to your ear and spoke through the loud fan.
"Don't look at me like that." She spoke it as a command as her hand squeezed your bleeding side.
"Like what?" You scoffed quietly, immediately feeling the burn in your rib.
"Like you're about to say goodbye. You're fine."
You hummed and looked back up at her when she pulled away, leaving no room for discussion.
She was so gorgeous, holding you, protecting you, as if you were about to disappear any minute.
Your head spun so much you didn't even notice the fan turn off. Sevika lifted you off the ground and instructed Jinx, who was also carrying a girl, where to go. It all came out as muffled to you though, as the blood loss slowly stared winning, and you passed out.
When you woke up, the first thing you saw was two heads looking down at you. Jinx's braids tickled your nose, while the other girls hair wasn't even long enough to reach her eyebrows. You groaned, immediately going in to hold your side as a reflex to find it bandaged.
"I told you to let her rest." Sevika's voice rung out in a disappointed tone as she walked in with a bunch of fresh bandages in her hand. Presumably for you.
You were in Silco's office, laid down on his sofa. The table was covered with medical supplies, alcohol bottles and jinx's crafts, but your eyes ended up laying upon Sevika. Her worried expression had you worried.
"How are you feeling?" Sevika asked, looking down at you as she put the obnoxious amount of wraps on the table.
"Trust you to get shot." Jinx scoffed playfully as she stared down at you, knowing damn well that bullet was meant for her. "Took it like a champ though!"
You chuckled back and attempted to sit up, but Sevika was faster and pushed you back down, shaking her head.
"I'm fine." You spoke, but Sevika wouldn't relent. She kept you laying down as she changed your bandages carefully. Your eyes fell from Sevika onto the little girl who was still staring down at you. "Who would have thought Jinx took in a stray. What's your name?"
"Her name is Isha. She's sticking around." Jinx replied matter-of-factly, a small smirk on her face as she said it. It made you giggle a bit.
"Alright, out." Sevika stood up from crouching beside you as she finished your bandages. Jinx took Isha and left, excited to show her some of her trinkets to get her mind off of...recent events. "She needs to rest."
"I'm alright." You spoke, reaching out for Sevika's hand to help you up. "How bad was it?"
"Bad enough to have me worried." She sighed, sitting beside you and letting you lean on her.
"Sorry." You sighed back, almost identically. "And you know, thank you."
She wrapped her hand around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head.
"Anytime."
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