#im sorry i said i hated ur gel hair

[chrollogy]

PHANTOM TROUPE APPEARANCE RAAAAAAAAHH CHROLLO ‼️‼️‼️‼️ (he’s not even with them)

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Ur good 🗞 anon I don't have a problem with it :))) also I'm sending u a red eye (drip coffee w a shot of Espresso in it) it is the fuel that keeps blue collar guys going

ALSO ALSO IM STILL FERAL OVER GENDERBENT 141 FUCK WOMENNNNNN

-🔪

I love how you 2 are having a love affair in my asks

speaking of Genderbent!141,

Let me use highjack this ask to cook up something good:

Genderbent!Los Vaqueros (and everyone else).

(this is especially for @lyralein and their promise to draw me Alejandra and Rosario)

Alejandra Vargas has the longest, prettiest hair for someone who spends their time with it TIED IN A DAMN HIGH PONYTAIL???? She 100% wears SOOOO much hair gel to keep it slick and from having flyaways while in the field but that means it exposes her widow's peak and big ass fivehead. She's very used to being underestimated (just like Jane Price) but she has natural scary dog privilege and even her smirks and smiles look evil, so her subordinates Know Better™️. Also, she's tall as all hell, just like Simone. Fuck you mean she's 5ft10???? She serves cunt everywhere she goes when off-duty.

Rosario "Rosa" Parra has a curly bob and has the longest prettiest eyelashes. Does it pass regulation? No. But are you gonna go tell the Colonel's best friend to fix her hair, cut it? No. Exactly. Now get out of her face before SgtMj Parra makes you run drills. She and Alejandra have MATCHING tattoos that they got after the betrayal of their teammates who were on the cartel's payroll (like Valerio Garza). I'm entirely convinced her and Alejandra have gossip sessions over coffee when doing paperwork.

Valerio Garza is 100% such a fucking papi chulo. You know it, I know it. Man's got the most beautiful brown eyes, thickest brows, and the nastiest little smug smirk on his lips at all times. Has a shaggy little hairstyle that just makes him look like SUCH a fuckboy and a 5 o'clock shadow. Man's tall as all hell and I just KNOW he's got a fucking scorpion tattooed in his forearm. Just trust me on this.

Patricia Graves (yes I know Philipa exists but I don't like it for him bc it's not 'common' the way 'Philip' is common for men) is such a fucking bitch. I'm sorry, but she is. (to me, Philip's actions just become even more inexcusable when she's a woman like????) Anyways. Has the sleekest light brown hair but she gets it lightened to blonde because she can. Who's gonna stop her? Wears her hair cut into a lob (long bob) and unironically loves cowboy boots when she's out of uniform.

Alexa Keller is ready to fuck shit up at a moment's notice. Give her a time and a place and she WILL show up, drop some bodies, and leave without a word. Tall and strong, but not as beefy as Soap. Especially top-heavy. I'm convinced she binds her chest with bandages in order to fasten her vest on properly. Has a layered bob and carries bobby pins in her pack/pockets so she can keep pinning it back, on TOP of already carrying hair-ties around her wrists. At one point, Faris teaches her how to tie a scarf to keep it off her face.

Faris Karim is, I hate to say it, tall and on the skinny side. The ULF is a freedom fighting group and he's spent much time in prison, so, he's not as 'well developed' as many soldiers would be. Nonetheless, he's a good leader and makes up for his lesser build with determination. Has a beard that he cannot keep up with more often than not so he shaves it off when it gets too long, and keeps his hair in a combover or quiff.

Christopher "Chris" Laswell is, point blank, tall and slightly pudgy, used to being behind a desk, writing reports and fucking people up with words more than with fists. That being said, piss him off hard enough and he'll have you on your ass. Has an Ivy League cut with a side part and is either PERFECTLY clean-shaven or has the THICKEST beard you've ever seen. (I was gonna 'pick' a mustache only but then he'd look like Alex Keller too much)

Natasha is, I hate to say it, the most stereotypical Russian woman you've ever met... minus the blonde hair. She has the beautiful waves, she has the red lipstick and the heavy make-up, she has the expensive fur coats, and dresses and heels, and all the jewelry. Is it practical? No. But she's a CEO and a forced to be reckoned and there's nothing stopping her.

[ More Genderbent!COD ]

[our-androgyne-experience]

Hey

Idk if this is the best place to ask because this whole stuff is gender identity related but I LOVE aandrogynous culture so i want some fashion tips too :)

Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ]So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me.

On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :')

But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good. And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever.

Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ]

Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig.

And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk.

And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother.

Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk.

...Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so fucked up.

And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit.

And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy

And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool.

And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment.

And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too.

And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral.

And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore.

I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that id know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me to be questioning.

I know it's a lot to handle, but advice?

And also some fashion tips. Tyssm <3

thank you for sending in this ask!

my basic advice would be this:

stop overthinking it! saying this with all love and respect as a chronic overthinker myself. you seem to have a pretty good understanding of yourself and how you want to present on a day to day, and that's the most important part! you're also not (as far as I can tell, but I am far from an expert on these matters) referring to anything "incorrectly" or in an overly binarised way. anyone can wear any clothes they want, but certain outfits / articles of clothing are generally perceived as more masc/fem, and many clothing items are sold specifically as such - it's okay to acknowledge this when speaking about fashion, in my opinion.

while gender identity and gender expression are often linked, they don't have to be! it's easy to think, "well, if I change up my style all the time and these different styles often relate to different gendered feelings, I MUST be genderfluid" but it doesn't actually work that way - there's no "I MUST be x because I do x" rule. you MIGHT be genderfluid, as this is an experience many genderfluid people relate to - but it's an experience people of other genders can relate to as well (and there are genderfluid people who DON'T do this either). if a label doesn't resonate with you, there's no need to take it on just because you feel you "should".

there's no rush to figure it out! you have all the time in the world to explore and experiment. you don't have to get it right on the first try, and you don't have to come out at all if you don't want to (though I'm sorry to hear you're not in a supportive environment right now, and I hope things change if you decide you do want to come out as something in the future). I think you should just keep up what you've been doing already - playing with your appearance and style, doing what feels right, and seeing what comes naturally. Pinterest is telling you you're trans? maybe you are! but also, maybe you're not! nobody can define you, except you. if you like the soft fem outfits, keep them, if they're not doing it for you anymore, drop them - neither option means you're trans, neither means you're cis.

my fashion advice is similar to my gender advice, ie "do whatever you want forever". more specifically, I would suggest picking items of clothing that you like, rather than trying to create specific "looks" or "aesthetics" - create a vibe from scratch instead of trying to copy one you saw elsewhere. if you see a really cool jumper or skirt or pair of shoes somewhere and think "wow, I really dig that but I don't think it matches anything I have already..." don't let that stop you! there probably IS something, you just haven't thought of it that way before, and the best way to get a cool, unique look is to challenge yourself. I would also suggest looking into learning to alter / tailor your clothes to experiment even further (I have not done this yet myself, but that's just because I'm lazy! it's a great idea!)

I hope this was helpful! if you have any more questions and/or follow-ups, feel free to send them in 🩷💜🩵 good luck!

[our-demigirl-experience]

Submitted this to a few more blogs but I thinking im getting most accuracy here, from what i've seen around:)

Hey

Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ]

So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me.

On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :')

But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good.

And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever.

Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ]

Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig.

And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk.

And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother.

Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk.

...Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so frigged up. And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh

And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit. And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy

And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool.

And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment. And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too.

And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral.

And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore.

I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that I'd know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me to be questioning.

I know it's a lot to handle, but advice? :)

And also some fashion tips. :))

Tyssm <3

I get it! Gender can be really confusing. My main advice is to test out using different labels to find out which one you like the most! And for fashion, it really depends on your style!! Pinterest can be really helpful for things like this. Good luck <3

[our-genderfae-experience]

Hey Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ] So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me. On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :') But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good. And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever. Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ] Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig. And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk. And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother. Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk. Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so fucked up. And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit. And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool. And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment. And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too. And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral. And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore. I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that id know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me this questioning. I know it's a lot to handle, but advice? And also some fashion tips. Tyssm <3

Hi!

Yeah, parents not being supportive can be an issue - I hope you're safe otherwise!

As for gender identity, have you looked into apagender? It doesn't explicitly include the fluidness you feel, but it seems to match the overall vibe you seem to be feeling.

And fashion? This is not the blog you should be asking - I have zero fashion sense

[ashmp3]

okay re: ur vocal note/rant bc ofc i listened i have issues yeah omg i put it on in the background like a little podcast

and like i am sooo with you on this 😵‍💫 like its so unfair abt how a girl will take out her insecurity and anger at a guy and put it onto ANOTHER girl instead of the guy!!!! like be mad at him like it just sounds so 16th century witchhunt that apparently the guy isn't responsible for who he wants to sit and talk to and rather theyre mad that another woman is trying to charm and bewitch him like boohoo sorry u only see other women as competition and also u sound like a better person than me bc best believe if i was friends w a girl and she acted like that i would be playing breakup playlists and sulking and ripping my hair out and writing w a glitter red gel pen abt all the curses that i want to befall her bc there is nothing worse than being a girls' girl and then being hated by other girls!!!!!!!!! (esp bc of a man) feels like hell is a pit in ur stomach!!!!!!!!

and to insert myself omg i graduated hs a year and a half ago now but even from then until now ive had the same friend group which is a group of guys and for no other reason than that i genuinely like them and theyre like a group of brothers to me and we vibe but the hatred from other girls is literally heartbreaking 😭 bc every so often i would hear in high school abt 'oh xyz from this group of girls called u a pick me and talked abt u and said u want male attention' which is a batshit crazy take bc everyone knows that i preferred women anyway like wdym im not gonna date any of those guys in my group we are friends...just friends....and once in y10 this guy was obsessed w me and he was like a millionaires son and popular and i was shy and kinda intrigued so i dated him for a little while but 16 year old me would hear comments 24/7 in the hallways abt how i was some slut for doing it (it being dating him) which is crazyyyy bc every single one of these comments came from girls (and girls who i knew liked this guy)

so like omg yes to agree w u on everything nothing is more infuriating and annoying as hell when like girls forgo ur friendship and ur good intentions and just the overall sisterhood vibe bc theyre mad some guy is into u...like even if ur not into him back 😭 sorry for the long ass ask

call her daddy count your days call her ashmp3 is coming to take over ur little podcast…

i KNOWWW but genuinely she doesn’t have any reason to be mad at either of us? like he sat next to you because you dragged him there and then all you did was bat your eyelashes and giggle and i know she’s shocked that this didn’t work because she is really so pretty and men kneel down just to talk to her. And i am sure the guy doesn’t even like me i think I was intriguing to him and we hit it off well so of course it might look like that. also she knows i don’t even want him she KNOWS who i got my eyes on so i was just so shocked at her behavior.

also the whole thing about breakup playlists and red glitter pen i love you you are so funny and expressive i giggled�� And yeah i don’t do that i’m like oh well moving on. I don’t like dwelling on things, and i don’t get sad i get mad. Mad because as you said, being a girls girl and then it flipping on you is just aggravating.

PEOPLE DO THAT ALL THE TIMEEEE like why is it so hard to believe that you see them as friends and they see you as a PERSON that’s their FRIEND no i’m telling you it’s girls that see attention from a guy as a confidence boost or confirmation that they are worth something which is all fucked up and not normal way to think about yourself… But i think the deep insecurities just come from the place of wanting to be accepted. And they can’t understand that you hanging out with your friends doesn’t mean anything more because they themselves couldn’t do it aka they would try and flirt… So u get hated on bc they project themselves and think what they would do. FUCKED UP!

i had that happen with another cancer guy and in hs and still now i don’t have instagram facebook nothing i am a monk in a body of a baddie. But i remember my friend showing me profile of random girl and saying “she hates you and talks shit about you bc of cancer guy” like you don’t KNOW ME. Hate HIM lmfaoosjdjsjs i mean don’t hate anyone… Crazy

and 🫂🫂🫂 long asks are always welcome and thank you for listening to my rant and i am sorry you went through things like this bc it’s truly heartbreaking being reduced to a “pick me” just because you don’t act shy around just some guys.

[ivyuns]

gone ❆✰

hwang hyunjin

genre: angst | fluff

warnings: suggestive, language, etc <3

word count: 1.2k

A/N: this was requested,  i’m sorry if this ever came out late ! ! its vv short bc i was rushing to get this done (repost bc it wasnt showing up in tags)

“Hello lovely! Can i request a one shot where hyunjin and older fem reader start seeing each other (intimacy) and later they start catching real feelings and decide to part ways cause its forbidden but then reader finds out she’s expecting?”

masterlist

nonidol!hyunjin x olderfem!reader

waking up from the sun rays, you turn to your left to see someone in bed with you— naked.

“hyunjin !?”

with someone yelling out hyunjins name, he stirred awake. “hm?” hyunjin rubs his eyes for a clear view. he sees a woman with the white fluffy blankets covering her with her long hair everywhere and hickies on her neck.

“y-y/n noona? what happened?” hyunjin starts to remember all the past events from last night.

he remembers going to a bar after having a fight with his best friend. going to the bartender and asking for a drink, he waits for the drink to be finish. turning to his left, he sees you; laying your head down on the counter with the straps of your dress almost falling down due to the amount of weight you lost, making the dress too big for you but that was the only partying dress you had since you didnt like parties.

seeing the tears on your face dry up, hyunjin goes next to you and talks to you. “whats wrong lovely?” wiping the tears from your eyes and sitting back up. “my boyfriend broke up with me and now i feel like shit” you slurred, still drunk from the amount of drinks you had.

hyunjin’s drinks come by and orders you more drinks. as you two talked, feeling a bond connecting, you both feel like it was time to go. “wanna go to my place?” hyunjin asked while drunk. nodding your head while hyunjin pulls out the money for the bartender and both of you leave together with you clinging to hyunjin.

right as you walked through hyunjin’s door, you were pushed back to the wall with hyunjin caging you in between his arms. hyunjin’s lips went to your neck, harshly biting your skin. next thing you know, youre under hyunjin and youre not getting over him.

-

memories flood back into your mind finally. sitting up and just starring at the blankets, hyunjin goes in front of you. “everything okay noona?” facing reality, you closed your eyes and sighed. “hyunjin, did you ever pull out?” you said, opening your eyes, you see hyunjin shaking his head a no.

you gasp in disbelief and hitting you head against the palms of your hands. “hey y/n- noona its okay. lets just do friends with benefits” hyunjin grabs your wrists to stop harming yourself. you look up and smacked hyunjin across the face lightly. “im older than you by a few weeks, dont call me noona” you said and dressed yourself and left his house.

hyunjin is brought back to reality and notices youre gone. running out of bed, he sees your shoes gone but a piece of paper.

‘325-320-0325 call me whenever ;)’

hyunjin smiles and saves your number.

ever since that day, you and hyunjin had been fucking. everyday, every night. til you felt weird. you woke up feeling sick as you got up from your bed. taking hyunjins arm off of you, you ran to the bathroom and threw out everything that made you feel like this.

hyunjin wakes up from his slumber and hears you vomiting. running to your side, he holds your hair up and soothes you for comfort.

“noon- y/n what happened? are you okay?”

“h-hyunjin, i think im pregnant.” you said silently. hyunjin’s face is full of shock. he stands back away as you slowly get back up onto your feet. “a-are you sure that youre just not sick?” he asks.

shaking your head, you look up with tears in your eyes. hyunjin leaves the room and grabs his belongings. hearing the door slam shut, you fell onto your knees and sobbed on the floor.

-

its been 4 months since hyunjin left you and your belly was now growing. you were looking through photos of you and hyunjin and memorized the feelings you two had on your phone as you were waiting for your name to be called for your second ultrasound. looking down at your belly, you put your hand over it and smiled.

“miss l/n?”

swifting your head to wherever your name was called out, you smiled and stood up to the nurse from your first ultrasound scan. “is it just you again?” she asks. you nod your head and follows your nurse to what room you need to be in.

laying on the bed, she puts on the gel and rubs the machine on your swollen belly. looking at the screen in front of you, you see your precious angel. how much you wish hyunjin was here to see this.

your second ultra sound was another success. you looked at your phone for any messages from hyunjin but there was none.

meanwhile, hyunjin was hesitant on calling you. he wanted to know if you were okay. if you were having fun. if you were healthy. if his kid was healthy. sitting on his bedroom floor, he glances at the pictures he printed out of you two on his walls.

hyunjin screams at himself for being stupid and leaving you alone to bare with the pain.

another 4 months has passed and he still hasnt texted you. you were on the verge on calling him- if he was okay til you felt pain and liquid come out of your coochie. calling your hospital instead of hyunjin, you made your neighbor (who is ur best friend n yall really close) drive you to the hospital.

arriving at the emergency, the nurses put you on a bed due to the amount of pain youre having. you let go of your friends hand and blacked out.

you wake up and see hyunjin holding your hand while tears are streaming down his face. “h-hyunjin?” you call his name weakly. hyunjin looks up and cups your face. “y/n, im so sorry” he whispers and plants a kiss on your forehead. “jinnie, what happened? where our baby” oh how much did he miss hearing you call out his nickname.

“shes right here love”

hyunjin leaves his seat and goes by the bed cart next to you to give you his baby. “its a baby girl?” you asked him with tears spilling out. “yes y/n. she was born a month early but shes still healthy. god y/n, you scared me so much, i thought i was going to lose you”

“i couldnt stop thinking about you. it was stupid for me to walk out on you. it was stupid to leave you all alone, feeling the pain. it was stupid for me to not be there for you when you needed somebody. when the doctors called me, i was so scared that you werent going to wake up. they told me how you passed out when you got here and that they had to do surgery on you because you wouldnt wake up.”

even if hyunjin wasnt done with his story, you couldnt control your tears anymore. hyunjin goes to your side and wipes your tears away. he goes to your lips and attempts to kiss your lips until you heard your baby girl giggle, making you and hyunjin burst out of laughter.

“y/n, please take me back. not as friends with benefits, but as couples. i want to live forever with you and our baby and possibly more children. i want to be there for you and our baby.”

“of course hyunjin” both you and hyunjin smile and leans in for another kiss. hyunjin then kisses your baby. “i do hate how she has most of your features even if i raised her myself” you pouted. “i guess you can say that i have the best sperm” hyunjin winks. playfully slapping hyunjins arm.

END <3

its not the best

[pinkykitten]

The time in Summervale: 1

Warning: none

Specifics: y/n=your name, oc, oc fic, comedy

People: athela (your mother), edward (your father), huxley (cook), ruthy (maid)

Words: 1,438

Summary: In the fictional land of Summervale, 1700, you, the Duchess are made into an arranged marriage.This is the dream of your parents but certainty not the dream of a longing inventor like yourself. You are taught to be a lady but who wants to be a  primp and proper lady when you can have fun and be yourself. You need to try to convince your parents this is not what you want or is it? How will it be seeing the Prince of Linwyn? Will you finally change your mind and side with your parents? 

Authors Note: this is something newwwwww. ive been wanting to do kinda my own thing for a while so this is not on any fandom this is a story i will be updating with chapters about my characters but in a x reader way if that makes sense so its still gonna use you and such just this is my own story. i got inspiration off of this story “the austrian suitor” by @headoverhiddles​, granted i dont know the character or the fandom i just read it cuz another blog reblogged it yet i rlly enjoyed it even tho it is smut and im not usually a smut reader just kinda skip that or whatever either way it was extremely well written and gave me such inspiration like wowowowowow. so i made this piece inspired by that and i hope you guys like it. this is just kinda an opening to the whole thing and to kinda see how it works out so there is not any romance in this but trust me there will be but like i said i want to see how this goes if yall like if u do pls tell me tell me what u think ur thoughts everything i worked rlly hard on this so pls share like reblog do what you gotta do it would me a lot to me. thnx guys <3

“Maybe this piece goes here,” you mumbled to yourself. An action you always did but it was something your mother hated. Sitting atop your bed you concentrated your efforts in inventing a mixer that did its job on its own. Call it a hobby or a dream but inventing was your world. You loved the satisfaction of creating something with your own two hands especially if it helped people. Unfortunately, your parents the Prince and Princess of Summervale did not approve. They called it very unladylike. Your mother, Athela, would scold you about getting messy and dirty and then throw you in the tub like a little child. Your father, Edward, was always forcing you to learn how to seam. His mother used to do it and he wanted to pass it down to you. Those things didn’t excite you, didn’t make you complete. Inventing was something you loved and was always thinking about. As you would look at an apple tree during your morning stroll you would wonder about what inventions would be good for peeling apples whilst your parents bored you with duties as a Duchess. 

“Almost done,” you screwed on the last screw to your creation. You had dirt under your nails and they were short and barely ever polished, only for special occasions. Your hair was almost every time how it was meant to be. None of those gels, ties, bows, again only for special occasions. Your mother, Athela, would buy you all these face creams, soaps, masks, but you were content with your scars and bumps, naming them every so often after royals, saying your “face was a castle and there should definitely be Queens and Kings roaming on it.” You were odd and different to others but to yourself you were this boring, normal, royal girl that everyone hated because you were granted everything you could ever want. Life was not that simple though. Sometimes when you have everything handed to you - all the money in the world - it still doesn’t fill up that hollow feeling inside or take away the sadness. It was something to help people cope but it was never the antidote. 

“Alright...finished. What do you think Karim?” You hastily got out of bed and sat on the floor presenting your mixer to your pug. One very lovely vacation you took with your family you had learn a bit of Arabic. It was a beautiful language and you had made many friends there. You named your dog Karim meaning generous. Karim was generous, he was the only one who would look at your inventions. “Do you think it will work?” You gave a toothy grin, excited. 

Karim grunted as he licked his nose, panting. 

“I knew you would like it,” patting his head you jump up ready to show not just your parents but also the cooks. You had a very good feeling about this one. Every time you made an invention you had hope that maybe your parents would change their minds about your future but every occurrence was the same. 

“Mother, father! Come look!” You yelled as you sprinted down the stairs not caring if your nightgown would get dirty sweeping across the floors of the castle. “Come quick!”

“What in the heavens is the matter my dear child?” Edward, your father, grumbled seeing you in such a hurry. 

“See, father, in the kitchen.”

“In the kitchen?”

You passed by your mother, she tried to catch you but you slipped from her grip. “Young Lady why are you not dressed and groomed properly? You look like a mess.”

“Doesn’t matter, mother in this moment time is of the essence!” You arrived at the kitchen and grabbed a blue glass bowl, plopping it with a loud clank on the counter top. 

“What are you doing y/n?” The cook asked. “You almost broke me bowl!” He was a plump older man, very short. His hair was salt and pepper and his face was as white as flour yet his cheeks were always red.

“Forgive me Huxley I just need to know. Need to see and dive deep into the unknown.” You opened up a recipe card that Huxley wrote down for your favorite cake. Vanilla cake, you were a simple girl. “Alright I need eggs and flour and oh yes milk! Almost forgot about the milk!” You were talking to yourself again as you ran around the kitchen like a mad woman. 

“Is this another one of your inventions?” Huxley crossed his arms knowing about your obsession. 

“Yes but my dear good old Huxley-”

“Old?” He lifted his brow. 

“No time to explain, I have a tingling within me. This one is going to be it, I know it. Mother and father will finally see and believe in me.” You poured all the ingredients in the bowl. Your parents walked in, perplexed. 

“Hello everyone. Today I show you something I have been working on the for the past week. I am very proud of myself but any who let me show you my newest invention-”

“Oh here we go again?” Athela rolled her eyes.

“The mixer!” You lifted it high in the air. “This mixer will not only mix greatly and fine it will mix to your acquired speed. Please watch.” You pulled the lever three times and then pushed the big button. The mixer turned on automatically with it squeaking from the gears. “As you can see the mixer is mixing all the ingredients together. No more of the hassle of blistered hands or tired arms, this does it for you! You can even look away and do other chores in the midst.” You turned around and your creation you thought so high about was creating smoke and making an odd sound. 

“Um y/n,” Edward said, “is it supposed to do that?”

“Huh,” you turned to it again and all of a sudden the mixer started to go faster in speed. “Oh no.” The mixer then flew high in the air and starting to spin around like a mini airplane. 

“Get down!” Huxley shouted and everyone in the room screamed in fear or bent down hiding under tables and items. 

“Its alright everyone! Just a little mistake!” You climbed onto the tables trying to fetch the item. “Blasted thing.” You jumped onto the counter and caught it making it stop. Until it started to mix again and it caught a piece of your hair. You screamed loud and tried running away but hit the bowl of cake mix making it hurl in the air on top of your head making you slip from the batter onto your back. The mixer finally stopped. You groaned knowing you were about to hear it from your parents. 

Athela stood up with a scowl on her face. “To your room. Now!”

You sat at your vanity disappointed with yourself. You had worked so hard on the mixer and had embarrassed yourself. Athela was standing next to you, glaring. Karim was laying in his bed munching on a treat and your maid Ruthy tended to your hair. 

“I cannot believe you chose to do this on a day like today. Of all days!” Your mother was furious. Her gloved hands were held into fists. “You were supposed to be ready!”

“I know. I’m sorry mother.” In the end you always apologized even though you really hadn’t meant it. You hated when your mother was right especially about inventing. You always wanted to prove her wrong but it ended in outright disappointment. 

“Look at this hair now.” Athela lifted the piece of hair that was wrapped around the mixer. “Can you save it Ruthy?”

Ruthy bit her lip as she heaved a sigh, “I’m sorry your Royal Highness it is very tangled I must cut it off.”

“Oh my! Are you sure?”

Ruthy nodded.

“Today of all days,” Athela repeated herself. “How will your future husband think of you now?”

“What?” You asked and then all was heard was a snip as Ruthy cut that one lock of hair.

“Make sure you take that disgusting batter out of her hair.” Athela pointed to your scalp.

“Mother what are you talking about?” You stood up throwing your precious now broken mixer onto your desk.

“My dear didn’t you not fall just mere minutes ago in that vanilla goop?”

“Thats not what I meant and you know it. I am asking about what you said about a future husband. What did you mean by that?”

Athela rubbed your shoulders up and down and broke into a huge smile. “My dear you are getting married!”

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​, @reginalinettis​​​

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

[nanshe-of-nina]

People of the Edwardian phase of the Hundred Years War as dril tweets

Philippe VI de France: Time and time Again. People on here Fuck me over and ruin my life. simply for starting the Dialouge.

Edward III of England: thinking of wrapping my entire body in barbed wire and becoming Sovereign.

Jehan II de France: a teen approached me at the food court and said “I see you wore your clown costume today” and i spent the next 9 hours processing the insult.

Jehanne de Bourgogne: CHILD: Papa.. tell me once more about WIFE’s DUTY. PAPA: it is WIFE’s DUTY to protect her husband from villains, always.

Jitka Lucemburská: Damn. the MomTown forums just started requiring 4 point Mom Verificaiton to be able to post there for some reason..anyone got a work around?

Philippa de Hainaut: my opinion on politics: my opinion on politics is that politidcs is extremely good, but sometimes it is bad.

Ludwig IV, Holy Roman Emperor: bigmouth fake priest telling me to “drink a shitload of holy water and kill yourself” as penance? this has happened at three churches now.

Pope Benedict XII: it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again.

Jehan III, duc de Bretagne: i just left an enormous pile of vomit behind golds gym for all of you abominable pig clowns to pick at #blackfridaydeals

Robert III d’Artois: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch.

Hugues Quiéret: currently employed as Water Guru at the beach. it’s sort of like being a lifeguard except i have no inclination to touch the drowning people.

Geoffroy d’Harcourt: OH im so Fucking sorry “Your Majesty”, i didnt realize that dick rings were banished in this dystopian piss earth. Ur probably a 9gag poster.

Jacob van Artevelde: (in highly rational and cool voice) i have the higher follower count than them. i wiont let them undermine me.

Pope Clement VI: may the wind carry my tweets and soothte the sick, the wounded, the downtrodden of both man & beast, across the savage shit earth of trolls,

Jehanne de Valois, comtesse de Hainaut: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no.

Eudes IV, duc de Bourgogne: myth: making me mad is cool FACT: making me mad is a crap move& people who do it are all sociopathivc criminals with fucked up rotten brains.

Jehan de Montfort: turning my headlights off when driving at night,.. so that my Rivals cannot see me.

Jehanne de Flandre: i just want to find the optimal bra for sniper operations, but everoyne here is so rude, and pieces of shit.

Johann der Blinde of Bohemia: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts.

Charles II, comte d’Alençon: ((SPILLING BLOOD ALL OVER KEYBOARD) THIS IS WHAT U WANT. THIS IS WHAT U FUCKING BASTARDS WANT RIGHT (1 WEEK LATER) WHY ARE THE KEYS STICKING

Jehanne de Clisson: as far as im concerned the best revenge is ordering wolf piss online & pouring it into soneones car. “living well” is too hard.

Arnaud de Cervole: i will raze every forest and devour each city in blood tribute for the crime of 9/11!! please nbring back blue collar TV

Frank Hennequin: the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit.

William Montagu, 1st Earl of Salisbury: im at the point in my life where i cant relate to any popular fictional characters unless they use massive amounts of hair gel and steriods.

Antonio Doria: my name is Destyn. i build crossbows and sell weed to all your dads and im 15.

Gautier VI de Brienne: MYTH: my posts are for the Pauper REALITY: my posts are for the Prince.

Étienne Marcel: looked at a newspaper today. looks like we’re getting taxed out the wazoo, with this president. anyone else see this shit? tax out the wazoo.

Guillaume Cale: “FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES,” I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD

Edward Montagu, 1st Baron Montagu: girls always love to telling people not to“ Mansplain” but they do not care of, “Man's Pain”

Louis Iᵉʳ, comte de Flandre: 1) i do not owe you mother fuckers a damn thing 2) i will not hear any more questions or comments unless they pertain to MetroPCS, or Pepsi.

Philippe III de Navarre: the crusaders fire ballistas into my throbbing diaper- unlesashing a torrent of mustard yellow shit and poisoning the entire village.

Gaston II, comte de Foix: i am going to plunge a sword into our bed and officially end outr 40 yr marriage if you do not stop yelling while i am recording my stream’s.

Henry de Grosmont, 1st Duke of Lancaster: please help my cousin “Bruno_THought_Leader” who just had his account suspended for threatening to “Fuck” brexit.

Robert Le Coq, Bishop of Laon: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.

Jehan Iᵉʳ, comte d’Armagnac: the joke is on you fuck face. i actually love getting screamed at and publicly shamed for my dumb-assed bull shit . I love apologizing.

Bardi and Peruzzi families: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool’s Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Jehanne II de Navarre: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and NIce manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT.

William de Bohun, 1st Earl of Northampton: if you have less than 1000 followers i can guarantee you that me and the boys share your posts in vip chat rooms and call you a "Muthafucka”.

William de la Pole: thinking about getting the dow jones back on track, simply by making a few phonecalls. but certain people have been a bitch to me, so i wont.

Thomas de Beauchamp, 11th Earl of Warwick: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right.

Thomas Holland, 1st Earl of Kent: ive heard from a reliable source that people arre putting their lips on to my girl friends avatars and going “muah muah muah.” cut it out.

Raoul II de Brienne, comte d’Eu: hate it when my boss knocks out the front leg of my desk with a baseball bat and funko pop lego shit flies every where.

Karel IV, Holy Roman Emperor: “RESULT You are the Serpant. YOu dislike loud places and people are constantly putting drama in your life. But you’re strong.” This is true.

Charles de Blois-Châtillon: torturing my damn dick with corn cob holders in Penance for the foul tone i took with the subway corporation today.

Jehanne de Penthièvre: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc.

Jacques Iᵉʳ de Bourbon, comte de La Marche: “ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders” Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

John Chandos: DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor ME: No,

Jehan d’Artos, comte d’Eu: , who had gone missing for 17 years and was presumed dead after failing to return from his ultimate dumpster diving life quest

William Douglas, 1st Earl of Douglas: i get emails. i get emails saying the trolls have won, and that i should bow to them, since i have lost the battle. to this i say FAT-CHANCE.

David II of Scotland: “jail isnt real,” i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco.

Charles de La Cerda: i think that turning myself Gay in the summer of 2013 would really impress my overseas investors.

William de Montagu, 2nd Earl of Salisbury: my watch beeps whwich means its time to stand in front of my ex-wife’s house and play “Hit THe Road Jack” while dacning and licking her mail.

Edward the Black Prince: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

Jehan III de Grailly: its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town.

Louis II, comte de Flandre: U Have Forced Me To Take Extreme Measures To Protect My Business And My Lifestyle.

Blanche de Navarre: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”

Charles II de Navarre: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned Compilation

Philippe de Navarre: shooting off automatic rifles making horrible diarrhea shit noises as the recoil makes my tiny dick flop around. hell yeah. thats cool to me.

Charles, Dauphin de Viennois: surprise, dad. while you were witnessing the pennsylvania state lottery i tried on all your work gloves and they looked very handsome on me.

[homebeneaththestairs]

garden gnomes and group chats

Sirius to felons or falcons: im ready to pass or die

Remus: I literally sent you a study package two weeks ago 

Peter: i left u my notes from last semester what are you doing with your life? 

Sirius: not studying 

Sirius: I thought that was really obvious

Sirius: cmon guys get with the program 

James to Remus: i left snape a step by step instruction manual on how to properly wash his hair 

James: its in his locker 

James: what do u think are the odds that he’ll actually figure out how a shower works?

Remus: first of all: oh my god 

Remus: secondly: good job.

Lily to Sirius: s2g black give me back my pencil case 

Sirius: it was an emergency 

Lily: you’ll be in the emergency room if you don’t give it back to me 

Peter to felons or falcons: guys guys guys 

Sirius: don’t u dare 

James: don’t 

Peter: reminder that college applications start today! 

Sirius: blocked. 

Peter: :////////:

James: yeah u think about u did 

Remus: I’m in the library right now filling out applications 

James: blocked. 

Sirius changed the group name to: if remus mentions colleges one more time i’ll kill him 

Remus changed the group name to: sirius stop using the group chat name to make a point 

Sirius changed the group name to: make me

Remus to slim slam dunk slimmies: I swear to god that i will kill whoever keeps leaving raisin boxes in my locker 

Remus: I’m talking to you James and Sirius 

Sirius: i literally have no idea what ur talking about 

Remus: someone keeps leaving those boxes of raisins in my locker and i hate raisins why do you guys keep doing this?

Sirius: I’m going to go with innocent until proven guilty, mate

Remus: I’m not an idiot 

Remus: its either you or James doing this how stupid do you think I am?

James to Peter: so when r u going to tell Remus that you’ve been breaking into his locker all year?

Peter: probably never

James: respect that 

Sirius changed the group name to: plexiglass fuckers 

Peter: wait what 

Remus: How does one even?

Sirius: carefully, and with punk attitude 

James changed the group name to: punk is really dead get over it black 

Sirius: im never talking to u again 

James: but u just did 

Sirius: damn it 

James to james potter is a secretly a walking talking jar of jam: im failing out of english and its a problem 

James: like seriously 

Sirius: yes?

James: literally not the time buddy 

Sirius: i always have time for u 

James: bro <3

Sirius: bro <33333

Remus: sirius shut up 

Remus: what do you mean you are failing out of english? have you done any of the readings? 

James: hamlet is literally the worst torture in the history of ever i can’t get through it and i’m so far behind i need help i just got a 40% on the paper and she gave me an extension to redo it but i don’t know where to begin 

Remus: you’re going to be fine 

Remus: i’m messaging a friend. maybe she’ll agree to tutor you 

James: bless u 

Peter to Remus: fuck u 

Remus: what on earth did i do to deserve this 

Peter sent to Remus three screenshots 

Peter: he hasn’t shut up about her dainty little wrists yet 

Peter: u did this 

Remus: oh my god what did i do 

Remus to Lily: how did it go with James?

Lily: I think I found the problem

Remus: he was dropped on his head as a small child?

Lily: ???

Lily: no he’s been trying to read a copy of Macbeth, not Hamlet 

Remus: why am I friends with these people?

Peter to four guys with great hair: i dunno y but sirius makes great decisions when drunk 

James: wait u went drinking without me?

Peter: u said u wanted to watch lily do homework at the library 

James: u make it sound so much creepier when u say it like that 

Remus: why did you call me 20 times tonight?

Peter: sirius tried making a fire 

Remus: with what??

Sirius: e v e r y t h i n g 

Peter: actually though 

Peter: it was a bit more of an explosion than a fire tbh 

Sirius to Remus: not to be controversial 

Sirius: but i really don’t like bbq sauce

Remus: literally wtf is controversial about that 

Remus: also its 3am fuck off 

Peter to the discount spice girls: i forgot we had homework in history 

Peter: someone skip history with me

James: im in chem but sounds coolio 

Sirius to the discount spice girls : wait we had homework 

Sirius: don’t leave without me guys 

Sirius: guys?

Sirius: g u y s 

Remus to Sirius: you submitted your applications right?

Sirius: ???applications,,,, 4 wat?

Remus: why are you like this 

Sirius: oh yeah college appLications 

Sirius: kind of 

Remus: this is the last day to submit 

Remus: where are you 

Sirius: in the libBBrary picking progRams out of a hat with James 

Sirius: do u think i could work with kids?

Remus: i think the kids would be to mature for you 

James to the Lily Evans Appreciation Group: she is so perfect 

James: she loaned me one of her gel pens today

James: GEL 

Sirius: ohhhh gel?

James: gel. 

James: purple gel pen 

Sirius: wow thats serious 

Peter: ^^^ :D

James: i honestly dunno whats better. the fact that she blessed me with one of her pens, or her eyes. 

Remus changed the group name to: mention lily’s eyes one more time james

James: they’re literally the most beautiful eyes i have ever encountered 

James: like they are honestly so green 

James Potter has been removed from group. 

James to Peter: have u seen sirius?

Peter: no

Peter: craig said he saw him hitchhiking earlier, looked pretty bad 

James: im grabbing the car 

Peter: i’ll meet you by the school

Peter to the Remus Lupin is a Moon Man: i got rejected by my safety school 

Sirius: im literally on my way with beer 

Remus: where are you getting alcohol from? 

Sirius: i broke into bellatrix’s apartment and stole her stash of candles and beer like yesterday 

Sirius: james the jim was the get away driver 

Sirius changed James to jamesthejim

James: honestly that school was stupid 

James: you’ve got plenty of time to hear back 

Peter: liar 

Remus: trust him on this one 

James to Sirius: he keeps baking cookies 

Sirius: aw shit 

James: we ran out of dairy already 

Sirius: no please don’t tell me 

James: he started making vegan cookies 

Sirius: sinful 

Remus to the Peter Won’t Stop Baking Support Group: he got rejected from another school and he’s moved onto making cupcakes 

Remus: I think he’s crying 

Sirius: i’m in the middle of calc homework i want some pie 

Sirius to Peter: james is making a move on evans 

Peter: omg no way 

Sirius: yes way 

Sirius: they’re at her locker 

Peter: im across school report everything 

Sirius: k well james tried that awkward leaning thing beside her locker and lily dropped her textbook on his foot 

Sirius: i dunno whats redder her hair or his face 

Sirius: nm his face is way redder 

Sirius: he asked if she wanted to meet up for coffee but she thought he meant for tutoring and im dying his face 

Peter: maybe this will be the end to all that is perfect about lily evans 

James to wtf does duolingo not have elvish????: Lily told me this really clever riddle today 

James: i didn;t get it 

James: at like all 

James: but she was so happy and so cute 

James: im gonna marry her 

Sirius: u jinxed it peter 

James to Remus: I GOT ACCEPTED 

Remus: I’m so glad Lily dragged your marks up for admissions 

James: ikr same 

James to the Peter Won’t Stop Baking Support Group: his mom started selling the cakes that he was making 

Sirius: i dunno y i keep offering to eat them 

Remus: he made over thirty cakes today 

Remus: half of them were coconut flavoured 

Sirius: so?

Remus: you’re allergic to coconut????

Sirius: yeah but if i die i don’t have to do homework 

James: lucky 

Remus: i hate you all so much

Remus left the group. 

James added Remus to the group. 

Remus left the group. 

Sirius added Remus to the group. 

Remus: i hate u both

Sirius to Remus: not 2 b political or anything but technically every war is a skeleton war if u think hard about it

Remus: w h y 

Peter uploaded a video to james stfu about evans: here we r blessed by remus singing starman 

Remus: i remember none of this 

James: i thought i was the one that sung that 

Peter: no u got really drunk and started moving your lips to the words and got excited that u learned how to talk and not talk at the same time 

James: wait what time was this even 

Peter: 10pm 

Remus: where’s sirius?

Peter: see that questionable lump in the right corner of the video? that’s sirius basically dead 

James changed Sirius’s name to questionable lump. 

questionable lump: y u do this

James changed the group name to: lily’s eyes are like glitter i swear

Sirius changed the group name to: literally no one cares

Sirius to Remus: i see u 

Sirius: posting some whimsy status about college acceptances 

Sirius: whatever 

Sirius: thats only a little cool, moon man 

Sirius: siriusly though congrats 

Lily to James: why did sirius throw glitter at me outside homeroom? 

James: oh my god 

James: im so sorry

Sirius to Peter: did u know that james has been stealing garden gnomes and hiding them under his bed?

Peter: that is the weirdest fetish 

Sirius: ikr i wanna hide them in remus’s locker 

Sirius: it’ll be really funny 

Peter: omg lets 

Sirius to the Baking Has Stopped Bless All: the oven is off 

James: oh thank god 

Remus: wait i was hoping he’d try doughnuts next 

Remus to James: do you know if sirius has heard back from any schools yet? 

James: dude i was just going to ask u that 

Remus: shit 

Peter sent three links to Remus: k so i know one of these is a literal dumpster but sirius basically is a dumpster 

Remus: i see no difference 

Peter: James liked the second one option for the apartment 

Remus: oh god i’ve agreed to live with james potter and sirius black in one house 

Peter: how bad could it be?

Remus to WHERE DID YOU GET THE GNOMES FROM: wtf guys 

Remus: my locker 

Remus: they all came falling out

James: wait 

James: where did the gnomes come from 

Sirius has left the group. 

Peter has left the group. 

James: damnit they found my stash of gnomes 

Remus: ????????????

Lily to Remus: why did you have my mom’s garden gnomes in your locker?

Remus: what 

Lily: the gnomes 

Lily: i recognized them from the ones that went missing 

Remus:this is definitely not what you think

Lily: black stole them didn’t he?

Remus: sure 

Lily to Sirius: im gonna find you

James changed the group names to felons or misunderstood falcons?: i wrote lily a poem 

Sirius: no no no 

James: roses r red, violets r blue 

James: i hate flowers but love u 

Peter: i can’t tell if that was sweet or not 

Sirius: u should totally give that to her 

Remus: sirius no 

James: im committed to the plan 

Remus to Sirius: have you gotten any news from the schools you applied to?

Sirius: yeah funny story 

Sirius: i sort of messed up applying 

Remus: wait so you didn’t send out any applications??

Sirius: naw just messing with u 

Sirius: i heard back months ago 

Remus: R U KIDDING ME 

Sirius: i broke u this is the best moment of all 88 years of my life. 

Sirius: yeah though. haven’t opened anything yet 

Remus: you mean you never opened the letters?

Sirius: yeah no i liked the suspense 

Remus: jesus christ open them right now i will cut you 

Sirius: cool beans i got in 

Remus blocked Sirius. 

James to Lily: i like u a lot 

Lily: ask me out then 

James: wait what 

Lily: i’ve been literally waiting all year 

James: jesus christ will u go out with me 

Lily: yeah y not 

[bythepowerof4]

clea and nick and a very confusing two day argument @nickatnightwalker

[during daisy’s 420 dash shenanigans]

bythepowerof4nnnno dont encourage her this is bad

nickatnightwalkerim encouraging her to be distracted byh being queen of something clea

bythepowerof4noooooo i dont think its gonna work like that shell just try harder

or maybe not i dontt fucking know i dont know anything

nickatnightwalkersame my guy but it was a chance i was willing to take on behalf of all of us

bythepowerof4ok sure great fingers crossed whatEVER

we are all sooo super grateful

nickatnightwalkeroh this is worse

bythepowerof4that wasnnt even a goov fucking burn

bythepowerof4that was so LAME and she thinks she s so SMART and i hate her

and i dont wanna talk about it actually how are you

nickatnightwalkeri am

dying

bythepowerof4Great

nickatnightwalkeri would have gray hair by now if it were possible for me to have melanin

bythepowerof4youre not helping though!!!!! uoure engaging!!!!!

noo ok not my business

this is meant to be chill i want to be chill

nickatnightwalkerjus wait till the bowl goes around again

nickatnightwalkeri was trying to distract her you kmnow thats the only way to stop the daisymobile

bythepowerof4thats not fair you know thats not fair

nickatnightwalkerwhat waiting for the bowl or the daisymobile

bythepowerof4Both duh

nickatnightwalkeryes i know, and, also unfair that this is happening on 420 day or our lord and savior snoop

bythepowerof4its not fair that we have to deal with this whether it happens or not wee could just like walk away from the weird passive aggressive blogging ccrcle right now if we so chose

yeah????

because this isnt FUN nickolas it is not

nickatnightwalkeri personally am having a loads of fun messing with ines

you have to dea l with everything when it happens so this is just a thign

bythepowerof4oh cool great youre just as bad fantastic news

nickatnightwalkerok i did no t and have not publicly read anybody out yet to date

i only do that privatley and only when it suits me

bythepowerof4:/

://////

bythepowerof4look at u ur being a dick right niw!!!!

nickatnightwalkeroh what to ines

im screwing with her

shes trying to fight me

bythepowerof4because this is soo the best way to deal with that sort of situation

nickatnightwalkerits just funny idk why shes getting all snaked out of shape

bythepowerof4"hot" you dick????

Youre both being gross now stop it!!!

nickatnightwalkera joke

a JOKE

shes a lesiabn

also just like

no

bythepowerof4its not FUNNY nick

neither of you are funny its weird and annoying and embarrassing

nickatnightwalkershe wants ot punch me bc i sias d bite me

i dondt really feel like imobligagated to take her seriously anymore

besides shes a shit so no t only is it funny to watch her blow a gasket over the same google image snatched pic i also like pissing her off

bythepowerof4u arent obligated to fight w her either but ur doing that,, a lot

idk

Im not making sense

nickatnightwalkerthis is brely a fight

[nothing until nick sends the photo]

bythepowerof4im not mad at you and im not mad at her so can you not tag team revenge for once in your fucking life

we're having an almost genuine conversation for once without you interjecting to make fun of me and pretend play matchmaker for shits and giggles so can you please, please cut it out

nickatnightwalkerim not making fun of you

nickatnightwalkerif i was making fun of you itd be a lot meaner

you should be flattered i even considereed encourragign you to go for daisy

[next day]

bythepowerof4hey!! how are you feeling haha, is ur hair still going grey

bythepowerof4im not trying to act like nothing is bad btw i just wanted to start it off nice sorry :/

nickatnightwalkermy hair's moved past being gray and now it's black, so im inadvertently copying misha again

bythepowerof4lmao this is some goth power play shit love it

nickatnightwalkerwhite haired twink is out 2008 gerard way is in

bythepowerof4as it should be!! do you need eyeliner like i don't have any but it would really make the Look

nickatnightwalkerwhy would i need that when i have dry erase markers to just apply liberally to my face

bythepowerof4so resourceful?? pinterest diy that shit

bythepowerof4we can raid the art rooms, get some glue while we're at it and cut a big chunk out of your hair gel budget

nickatnightwalkerdanger with that is potentially overgluing and making it fragile and breakable like glass

bythepowerof4glass bones and paper skin and glass hair also. got it

i mean youre pretty protective of it already i doubt anyone would notice the difference!!

nickatnightwalkerevery morning i break my legs getting out of bed

bythepowerof4do your heart attacks put you to sleep bc i know that feeling

nickatnightwalkeryeah thats why i sleep like four separate times a day

bythepowerof4and i thought that was just a #relateableteen thing

bythepowerof4so not to be weird but is this like. Chilly lackluster banter or are you actually not mad at me

nickatnightwalkerno im pissed

bythepowerof4ok

can i ask why

nickatnightwalkeri mean well first ya came at me for fucking with you which

like i said

i do but it's obvious

then you were a shit to daisy

so

thats that

bythepowerof4iiii mean. you said you wouldnt do that anymore. and then you did. i was just upset

and im sorry about daisy, i told her that too

bythepowerof4like really sorry!!

i just think its weird that someone can say, threaten to kill her and call her a bitch all the time

and youll date him

but i cant get a little upset when we're all high and im having a super stressful few days!!

nickatnightwalkerdo what anymore

bythepowerof4fuck with me

about her

nickatnightwalkerim not

i havent been

bythepowerof4you did though

bythepowerof4like what else was that picture

nickatnightwalkeryou said she was weird and creepy and i sent a picture of her being cute and sweet

bythepowerof4i said she was ACTING weird and creepy which objectively is an accurate description for someone talking about throbbing tentacle dicks and using the word "quivering" in relation to the nether regions of the girl they beat up for fun

but like, what do i know

i dont think shes weird and creepy and thats not what that photo was about im not an idiot

nickatnightwalkerlisten i frankly think everyone needs to reserve their judgment on the moire and daisy situation because it's clearly very complex and beyond the comprehension of mortal men and none of our fucking business to judge one way or another and, yknow, imho, moire has gills and misha smells like magic and youre 4d so maybe also reserve your fucking judgment on who's weird around here anyway

bythepowerof4i know thats why i apologized

nickatnightwalkershe can say shit like that and still be cute and sweet

bythepowerof4but like i said, high and upset and still getting used to this, so u can forgive me for one slip up surely

nickatnightwalkershe contains motherfucking multitudes

bythepowerof4thats not what you were saying though!! you didnt say that

you sent me a picture trying to make me jealous or something, just like she was saying, because obviously i cant have a private conversation with either one of you

nickatnightwalkerif youre jealous thats your problem

bythepowerof4im NOT

you both keep acting like i am thats not fair!!!

nickatnightwalkeri wasnt youre the one who's fixated on it

dont believe i ever said the j word

bythepowerof4i didnt either!! she did!!!

im not fixated on anything i just want to be able to talk to you without you making it about her all the time

nickatnightwalkerweve occasionally talked about more than daisy im p sure

bythepowerof4:/ you know what i meant

nickatnightwalkerwell this IS about her whether you think im continually screwing with you in some single minded attempt to torment you or not

and im not a fan of someone who says theyre her friend telling her shit like that

bythepowerof4i said SORRY it happens ok!!! i feel really awful about it why do you think i was so upset yesterday?

nickatnightwalkeri dont know dude i was baked

bythepowerof4i didnt know that specific thing upset her so much bc no one gave me a rule book for this shit and im never gonna do it again

nickatnightwalkerok cool

im also deciding rightnow this second i dont care if you believe why i sent the picture or not because youre so dead set on me trying to fuck with you ill never change your mind

and for the record

damians never called her a bitch again

nickatnightwalkerand if he tried to kill her, id be more concerned about scraping enough of him up off the sidewalk to fill a bucket

bythepowerof4youre not even gonna try to understand why i might think that

like i could tell you if u gave enough of a shit to listen yeah

nickatnightwalkeris poor self esteem and daisys difficulty with dropping her persona not the right answer

bythepowerof4not quite but thhanks

for that

nickatnightwalkerthats usually what it is

bythepowerof4ok just. Listen for a sec without jumping in to insult me yeah

bythepowerof4the two of you like, obviously tell each other everything. like u straight up reference shit shes obviously told u n vice versa

and that makes it weird cause it feels like im never talking to just you and thats why its weird when u bring her up bc its like, why wouldnt u just tell her whatever i say!!!

bythepowerof4and u keep saying i have a shot w her and telling me how to impress her when i just wanted to brag about winning chicken it didnt have to be a THING u know???

bythepowerof4but like!!! if ur saying that then she knows and it makes it weird!!! like you do that even when you said youd stop and then she accuses me of being jealous of moire and then you immediately send that picture and u can see how i might think it was a fucking team effort

yeah?????

bythepowerof4its weird and intimidating and im not even friends with her i was obviously fooling myself about that but i thought i was friends with you

like not youtwo as a unit or whatever fake setting me up

ok im done but that was stupid so whatever

nickatnightwalkerwell like 1. i dont tell her everything

i know hard concept but just because we talk about a lot of shit which is, yknow, what one does with friends, it doesnt mean we talk about everything

nickatnightwalkerfor instance: didnt know she said you were jealous of moire

bythepowerof4ok

bythepowerof4i believe you im obviously not that big a deal for u guys to bother talking abt me fine

but u can at least see how i might think that given ur whole thing is acting like ur joined at the hip and ganging up on ppl

u know

nickatnightwalkerwait do you want us to talk about you or not clea

nickatnightwalkershe was upset so she told me, i was pissed so i gave you photographic evidence

of the contrary imean

if i know everything about her then when i say youve got a shot i really think im in the best position to be calling that

bythepowerof4thats the problem!! Bc i clearly dont have a shot we dont even talk that much bc i dont even know how to talk to her and that makes it seem like ur pulling it out of ur ass!

nickatnightwalkereither i know everything about her or i dont make up your mind truong

bythepowerof4youre missing the point ok

nickatnightwalkerif the point isnt me giving you the run around to fuck with you not sure what the point is then

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkeris that not literally what you just said

bythepowerof4that is youre just getting bogged down in dumb shit im saying!!

nickatnightwalkeror dyou have your planes in a knot over us telling each other things like, information, like, sharing information about our lives

bythepowerof4stop that i dont give a shit about how the two of you act i just want you to get that its scary!! and it makes it hard for me and you expect me to be so good at this that the second i fuck up youre coming at methis hard

nickatnightwalkerof course i am shes my best friend and youre her friend so it's way worse than some rando ragging on her

bythepowerof4youre MY friend youre like my best friend here because im a fucking mess and youre getting personal about this and its upsetting me it doesnt have to be this intense???

nickatnightwalkerhurting daisy is always gonna be personal clea

nickatnightwalkerand i get you apologized and thats cool and that could be that but to the best of my fucking understanding im not giving you false hope and tbqh honestly, to be honest, actually, youre a decent fucking person and i have a strong preference that daisy go on coffee dates with someone whos not gonna knock her teeth out of her fucking head

bythepowerof4youre that invested and youve never said a single thing to her about it??

do you see how i might come to doubt that

nickatnightwalkeryeah and what the fuck would i say sorry but your weird hate crush kinda gives me the heebs have you ever considered not acting on that and trying to be relatively normal and healthy instead

bythepowerof4so what i have to do everything

nickatnightwalkeridk if youve noticed this but she doesnt really know what shes doing a lot of the time when shes talking to people so you know how i was talking about effort:: reward? thats where that comes in

bythepowerof4thats not fair

you could have just told her that thing you just said instead of pinning the work on other people without even telling them

nickatnightwalkergenerally speaking i try not to reveal daisys weaknesses to new acquaintances

bythepowerof4thats still not fair

do u even like me or are you seriously just trying to set her up with the least murderous person here

nickatnightwalkerif i didnt like you i wouldnt care if you were the least murderous person here

besides i dont get how you think us talking to each other is weird but you expect me to run interference in every single one of her friendships like, hey, just a heads up, shes got trouble finding the off button on the snarky attitude

like hell wingmanning you is pretty much the limit of what i can justify

bythepowerof4i dont expect you to do anything ive told you plenty of times that that shouldnt be your job

youre the one whos apparently been trying to invent a friendship where there isnt one?? forgive me for feeling kind of skeeved

nickatnightwalkeri was under the impression that you WERE friends

not sure when you stopped being friends actually

i KNOW shes doing her best to be less

bad

around you

bythepowerof4:/

nickatnightwalkerwhat

bythepowerof4i didnt wanna say "relationship" tbh bc there definitely isnt one of those

nickatnightwalkeroh haha relatable but look

i saw something good happening there with regards to daisy makin a human connection and i was trying my motherfucking utmost to encourage it

bythepowerof4ok but. its not a genuine human connection if youre there right

thats not very organic its just uncomfortable and confusing

i appreciate your help i guess but it was clearly more for her benefit than mine and that doesnt feel great?

nickatnightwalkerim not like lurking behind coffee machines im not actually THERE

and of course it's more for her benefit i didnt even know you

bythepowerof4i mean the second it went south you were, there, actually,

oh wow

thanks

nickatnightwalkerman youre not gonna pick me over like, your brother or something i dont see how this is shocking

besides

daisys

a good person to be friends with

bythepowerof4i mean sure but im still a bit caught up in you picking me out of a lineup like oh theyll do!!

nickatnightwalkerwhat line up

she likes you

bythepowerof4ok this part for once is not about her

well a little bit but listen

i thought we were friends because you thought i was nice and wanted to be

aka nothing to do with daisy

nickatnightwalkerwell like

yeah

that kinda helped your case though i guess

bythepowerof4no im sorry but that makes it weird

bythepowerof4that you befriended me for her sake and the second i pissed her off you trashed me for it like all im good for is bringing out the good in her

thats stupid??

nickatnightwalkeroh my god you have terrible reading comprehension

step 1.  we got to be friends

bythepowerof4ok we're back at insilts great!!!

nickatnightwalkershhh just shhh for like a second im breaking itdown alright

step 1. we got to be friends

step 2. you and daisy are also sort of friendsish

step 3. i encourage this shit because shes trying and youre pretty alright

step 4.  youre yelling at me for leading you on and befriending you to like lure you to daisy or some shit because i apparently just psychically knew you were ok

dont remember if we started talking because you were already talking to daisy so i figure that says something

bythepowerof4thats not what you just said but fine

bythepowerof4if im so wrong about all of this then im sorry for misunderstanding

nickatnightwalkerno it is what i just said

being friends with me first helped your case re me backing you up since i knew you werent a dick

bythepowerof4fine!!! ok i get it i just apologized

i cant help not getting stuff sometimes i figure u would get that being friends with daisy and all

but youre just saying all thise mean shit to upset me and not even feeling bad about it apparently

nickatnightwalkerlisten i really hand to god dont know what things youre talking about right now

doing it for daisy over you?  like

i knew you enough to know youre alright but daisy is daisy

bythepowerof4ok well yesterday, for one, with the "you should be flattered" bullshit

bythepowerof4and u were fucked so i would forgive that in a second if u bothered apologizing

or maybe the picture, which like, whatever your intentions were clearly was pretty hurtful

or anything about low self esteem, treating me like a melodramatic idiot,

any of that rally

nickatnightwalkerim gonna address these in order

bythepowerof4unless ur adress contains a sorry i dont care

ive heard ur excuses and thats great but thats not how this works

nickatnightwalkerlike

nickatnightwalkerugh jesus cut me some slack im not exactly a social guru here either im sorry about the low self esteem comment that was genuinely not meant to be douchy and neither was the picture even though i sent it because i was pissed

that was more of a look youre wrong kinda thing but i get how with daisy saying you were jealous that looks way harsher than i thought it was so im sorry about that

bythepowerof4even in context of like, just our previous convos i think that seems pretty harsh but yeah

thanks

i appreciate it for real

nickatnightwalkerand like i cant in good faith apologize for the you should be flattered shit because regardless of the situation daisy is daisy and in the interest of transparency im never gonna think anyones good enough for her but like i said she was willing to make an effort for you and i knew you were ok so

bythepowerof4oh my god

nickatnightwalkerwhat i honestly dont get why youre so shocked i prioritize daisy

bythepowerof4im not but you dont,, need to, for one

u know you didnt eed to compare us at all

and no offence but if youre trying to convince me you like me as a person and not just bc im convenient

saying "youre ok" as often as possible is NOT reassuring

nickatnightwalkeroh what

well first obviously i had to since you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you and second of all i dont mean Ah Yes, You'll Do..... i mean youre ok

like

bythepowerof4that hadnt happened yet u just brought it up out of nowhere

nickatnightwalkernot bad

bythepowerof4it was douchey

nickatnightwalkerno you

you said it

like

ill scroll back if i have to but you said me doing it all for her felt bad

bythepowerof4yeah and it does fyi but u pulled that "you dont deserve her" crap last fucking night

if youre gonna continue a fight u started high at least read the backlogs dude

its clearly on ur mind if u brought it ip for no reason

nickatnightwalkerit wasnt for no reason it was because she was upset you called her weird and crazy

i didnt pull this shit from the void

bythepowerof4" you were getting kinda messed up over me doing thing for her not you" this hadnt happened yet thats all im saying

u cant even keep your excuses straight

i didnt compare us and you decided to and that understandably made me feel like shit

nickatnightwalkerwell goddamn you pulled the receipts it's certainly not like i couldnt have misunderstood what particular thing you were referring to

bythepowerof4i only did that bc u tried to make it about something else!! i get why u were mad at me but youre trying to make me look dumb its not fair!!

nickatnightwalkerim not trying to make you look like anything believe it or not

sometimes i too am capable of misunderstandings

bythepowerof4then why dont you ever say sorry for them

ive messed up like a dozen times in this convo alone and i said "sorry i misunderstood" ur just

id unno its going in circles and its dumb bc i just want you to not be mad at me

nickatnightwalkerbecause im too busy trying to tell you im not framing you to look like a tool

bythepowerof4and i said i believed you

but youre acting like im an idiot for thinking it at all

nickatnightwalkerdude im not

like i dont know what im doing thats making you think that but im sorry?

bythepowerof4i told you!! over and over!! and you kept making it into something else!!

literally read what u just said and tell me it wouldnt make u feel like an idiot

nickatnightwalkerwhatever sorry i compared you and said you should be flattered

bythepowerof4whatever

sorry agan for being a dick to you last night, bc i admit i was, and to daisy but ill take that one to her bc its like, Our Business

whatevers dont count and im tired so, till next time i guess

nickatnightwalker i said it after you upset her but before you apologized and pretty much would feel that way if donald glover himself came to her door