#im sorry i got carried away asdkjfnsdakfjnas

[bitchsexuality]

ocs playing d-n-d

calista: they make a yuan ti rogue and put like... 18 points in dexterity, leaving every other stat at 9 or sth like that. they ignore battles, conversations, and crucial plot points - all they ever do is look for things to climb. they become increasingly more and more frustrated with each minute that passes. around halfway through the game they slam their hands on the table. “i’m sorry, but i’m starting to think you people don’t know how to play snakes and ladders,” they say

celestino: “uhhh i forgot my dice is it okay if i uhhh -” [pulls out one of those big fluffy pink dice you put in the windshield of a car].  also he does weird, nonsensical shit to see what’ll happen - not really out of a desire to be annoying, but because he accidentally built a character who sucks at everything but, idk, animal handling, so in order to be helpful to the group he really needs to think out of the box and try out strange things, like having a kangaroo carry your loot in its pouch (”we don’t even have to reach in and get it because the baby kangaroo will hand it to us!!”)

lesedi: starts off with a sorcerer. makes lore and perception checks on everything. (”you stand in front of a house--” the DM begins. “I ROLL FOR LORE”. nat 20. with a weary sigh, the DM pulls up the wikipedia entry for ‘house’). eventually, he multiclasses into ranger. then fighter. then cleric. at the end of the campaign he has at least one level in every class and the DM is just banging their head against the table and crying

niamh: every DM’s nightmare. she’s constantly tries to talk circles around the DM and confuse them into letting her do things she normally wouldn’t be able to do (like cast a warlock spell while being a plain fighter). she tries to cheat by bringing loaded dice; when called out on it, she reaches into her bra and pulls out more loaded dice. when called out on it again, she spends the entire session sulking and trying her best to derail the plot

safiya: she likes to pay attention to the smallest details and she’s good at thinking on her feet, so she’d actually be really good at it if she didn’t spend so much time trying to optimize her character and plan out the best possible strategy. at some point she realizes she’s taking it way too seriously and just... gives up. “i roll to seduce the dragon,” she says, while absentmindedly juggling her dice. “you dont speak draconic, safiya”. “i dont need to speak draconic to show it THESE TIDDIES”