#im sorry for the pitty party post

[crabs-nonsense]

Oh noooo, I just found out Ranpo’s English va is going to be at a con i really wanted to go to but ended up being too expensive and im even more sad now.

[wizisbored]

I feel like Lilith would love Lydia. Gus would be very confused by her since she’s so different from luz, the only other human he’s met

sorry it took me a bit to get to this, wanted to get a bit further into my toh rewatch to remind myself of the evolution of lilith first

im thinking this au will start in season one of toh, and season one lilith's opinion of lydia is basically 'oh titan theres another one'. she doesnt really know the difference between the girls aside from the smaller one being eda's. she muddles their names sometimes.

post-curse sharing, lydia takes a while to warm up to her. shes over at the owl house frequently to hang out with luz and king (and to use their shower) and at those times shes generally cold to lilith, if she has to interact with her at all. eda tells her not to worry, the kid's just an expert at holding grudges.

and then lydia is as unconvinced as lilith about king being a kind of demons. and then she joins lilith and kings 'my parent doesnt pay attention to me' pitty party. and then shes more willing than luz to hear about historical architecture. and all the little things add up, and lilith develops a soft spot for the kid.

as for gus, well, luz has to 'rescue' lydia from a barrage of questions. lil dude is very excited to be able to compare sources! but when he gets onto the topic of asking about human cities lydia is glad to talk about new york, and theyre able to bond.

and while we're on the topic of lydia and witches, i think she'd get on well with amity. again, she holds a grudge well, but this time she tries to get over it for luz's sake. i dont really know how to articulate it right now, i just get the feeling they'd get along.

[crazy4myself]

{TMI} Update...

Hello friends, sorry I haven’t been super active the past week and a half. I had big plans for posting this month, but that got kind of skewed a week and a half ago. I h8 to get too personal but I got a few DMs checking in on me, and I thought it would be easiest to just post it out for the world to see. We have some new additions to our household, no this is not a puppy announcement. Due to some complications(?) we are now fostering my 8 month old cousin, we are also transitioning into doing full time care for my grandfather who was diagnosed with cancer last week. This plus working 40 hours a week and taking an online summer course has made writing very difficult. Free time does not exists. I don’t even have me time anymore. Work has me working through my lunch hour rn which is when I normally clock in some undisturbed writing time.

Anyways I’m sorry there’s a delay on updates I’m v bummed bc I’m so excited to share this story with you. If you need some good reading until then check out the network section in my navigation tab. Those networks reblog and support a number of very talented authors. You should be able to find something to your liking easily. I also have my fic rec blog linked there.

I hope you are all safe and well in the midst of this pandemic, race war, and pride month. And I hope to maintain my blog as a safe place and easy escape from life. Even in the midst of stressful times. 💕

[krogrimm]

I'm probably taking a sarcastic post out of context and my anxiety running away with it but... if you're bi and you feel uncomfortable with me (a pansexual) reblogging something from you im sorry please just let me know. Especially if I didn't realise it was a bi specific post, I can be a little un-observant at times... and if just the fact that im pan makes you uncomfortable please feel free to block me.... my sexuality isn't going anywhere and though I know bi and pan kinda overlap I know they aren't the same and I respect that. Please just... let me know

[rihardgansey]

.

[idonotbiteclits]

i am so angry because the biggest thing my pity party is about, the thing i lost that breaks my fucking soul, was my pregnancy, i didn't even get to know there was one until it was too late, i had a baby and i didn't get a choice in if it got to stay because it was taken from me and it's not necessarily that i wanted a child, it's the fact that i had it and i didn't have a choice in any bit of it's existence, i didn't get anything but HOURS of pain and heartbreak i didn't even think was possible for a being i never knew, so yea, im gonna have a fucking pitty party and vaguely post on MY spam account about MY gut wrenching loss because crying and putting my life on pause isn't how i mourn,

but its true, im not just morning the baby i never got, im mourning SO fucking much and im sorry my friendships are apart of what im mourning but there's no fixing things unless i leave nathan and i cant fucking do that

[please-save-me-oh-stars]

American parties are like genders.

There’s more than two.

People WANT to make you think there’s only two.

We should support the parties that aren’t the main two.

If you disagree with this and think that Republican and Democratic are the only ones that matter think again because diversity is SO IMPORTANT and there are BILLIONS of different kinds of people out in the world, Sorry-not-Sorry that we can’t be sorted all nice and neat into two different labels

If you force your opinion on others or threaten people’s lives over it, clearly you don’t actually care about the people around you. YES THIS GOES TO BOTH SIDES I HAVE SEEN BOTH OF YOU DO IT AND IM SICK OF IT

I know this post is going to get a lot of hate is anyone finds it but idc, go find someone else who does and throw a pitty party if you’re mad at me

[thesanguinecrow]

I haven't really seen any of your personal posts but I am curious and would like to know, if it isn't any trouble

it isnt trouble im just glad someones interested bc i usually feel rly annoying this will get to the song point i promise but here goes tldr at the bottom. so it all started when my friend who i had only met a few months ago went out of his way to talk to me bc like we were relatively far appart. we were going to first period and he yells to me “get to class rose!” and i jokingly flip him off then he yells back “mines bigger” and we go on our ways. i hadent given it much thought at the time but now i see it as just the start of him trying to get closer to me. after that there wasnt much more conversation. then one day after school has ended he snapchats me out of no where and im like ?? ok and we start talking and hes sharing his antics and im just in amazement bc my life is pretty boring n he’s out here stayin in vegas alone (oh btw im gonna be a high school senior and hes gonna be a sophmore im a lil uncomf. with our grade gap but im not actually sure of his age but ik its not more than 2 years n age smooths out with time and im not interested in doing anything sexual atm even kissing would be rly pushing it) anyway be tells me a personal detail about himself ide rather not disclose but shows hes comfortable opening up to me. we sent eachother back and forth snaps of us making funny smooshed faces and stuff like that like i trust you not to screenshot and post this everywhere kinda face. soon after that wich was around the fourth of july he went off to camp and didn’t have his phone. i didn’t know he didn’t have/couldn’t use it and this whole time I’m freaking tf out and im here thinking OH MAH LORD WHAT IF HE DIED and internally sobbed. then after being sent home bc he broke his hand he gets back on sc and im like I THOUGHT YOU DIED ARE YOU OKAY!!!????!!?!?! and ever since then it’s been wishy washy bc he wouldn’t go on snapchat for hours and ik bc he has his location turned on on the map and it wasnt there. hes told me he doesnt have his phone which i regret not asking why but i assume his mom takes it or somrthing like oh its bad to be on it 24/7 somethin like that. hes also sent me pics of his torso but these increased post camp. he even sent one and captioned it “i felt hot in this one” and another 2 focusing on his mucles (hes not the most muscular but its noticeable hes got some) i think on sunday he was on and i sent a snap of me with my hair tied up in the front like a unicorn horn and my hair is like 6 and a half inches (17 cm) so its sticking up adding to the horn effect. then he sends me a snap back saying “well im single” and im like “me too” and hes just like *sigh* if only there was something i could do about it kinda sigh and im like “hey wanna hang at the beach wednesday anf hes like yeah but we never set a time before he didnt have his phone and all day wednesday me all shaved up (bc dysphoria and falling to societal beauty standards plus i wanted to wear my white short shorts with out my jungle creepin out mah butt cheecks and upper thighs lowkey mad i cant figue out how to tuck but i was gonna deal and do my best) i got my brows did my skin was doin ok and he wasnt on all day and i had a limited time frame to hang bc the beach is relatively far from where i live andi cant drive or have a car or get a ride and my mom doesnt trust me in uber or public transportation and idek bus schedules or how that works so i had to go with my mom to her job to then go to the beach bc they’re close to eachother but no meeting time set we dont hang i slowly steep into a pitty party and im like ok mood is sad woe is me then today i decide to stay home and seep into this poison of negativity and he snaps me if i wanna go to the mall and im here ready to throw myself of a cliff while on fire bc i had gone with my mom every day but today and im like well f*ck sh*t im so deeply upset and saw the potential to hang today and i feel so at fault for staying home the one day we could hang and nope. i hate having these feelings bc i have reason to believe he likes me and bc of that i ended up liking him back and it irritates me that we cant have consistent conversation and its just like when ever he happens to have his phone. i dont like when i catch feelings, form a crush, become infatuated and i say infatuated bc ik its not something as deep as love i dont know much about him but i do care for him. he blacked out bc of his diabetes and i was really concerned for him and i honestly feel like the mom friend sometimes. but i just want to get to know him and see if it leads beyond infatuation. whenever i get infatuated its often hard core and i have vivid images of us at the beach but also not. like its just me alone no boardwalk no docks no pier just me ocean sa d and sun. i dont like feeling so out of controll its overwhelming and suffocating. i like to believe im a hard cold b*tch whos in controll of my emotions but im not. i can be apathetic but romance just stikes me to my core and i hate it that my feelings always feel or are one sided like ik no one is obligated to like me back but it seems like he does like me. i dont care but do care, deeply, at the same time its a mess and i hate having these negative feelings its like poison in my soul its heavy and petrifying. my tarot readings have been discouraging but my pendulum readings have said he likes me (i havent done a pendulum in the past few days but it still seems like he does) idk i guess im clingy and i feel like i annoy ppl a lot and with the song cut to the feeling its like cut to the feeling i wanna play where you play with the angles i wanna wake up with you all in tangles no more hesitation this is on not in order but you get the picture i didnt really pay much attention to the lyrics bc i think its a great sounding song as with most of my music but then i started to sing (terribly) and learn the lyrics and i wanna be in a relationship but when i think about it and im put in the situation it could happen i panic like suddendly everything is moving so fast and sometimes i even start trembling and shaking and i dont wanna rush into things so fast but i still love the song but now all i can think about is this whole situation and the song only presses it. i asked him how he feels about me and im waiting for a response. idk im just not feelin too good and this is really bringin me down and i could get over it and be done or at least i believe i could but i dont want to.. anyway yeah the song is pressing these sore spots in my emotional mess and its makin me sad sorry this is so long but im glad someone cared to hear

TLDR: im an emotional mess bc i cant talk to my crush often and had missed and failed chances to hang out. i wanna see where things go but not rush into things and cut to the feeling is a good song but its poking at these tender feelings.

[loverrsamongus]

tagged by @kcgane <3 im sorry this is so friggin late!! tagging: @lieutenantriza, @pining-keith, @legendofaang, @pepperpaprika, @tsukkishima, @rirens,  @iwaizumi-hajimie, @ennoshitac  

no pressure to do it if you don’t want to ! <3

name: helena

star sign: leo

height: 5′4, or in human language 163/4 cm (not sure tbh)

age: 18 (19 in three months sob)

favourite colour(s): purple & red & blue. you get the gist

time rn: 19:24

last thing I googled: where is HKUS located (i had a virus apparently)

favourite fictional character: ahh so manny tbh... roy mustang and zuko always have a special place in my heart though

dream trip: the highway. im not even kidding. me, someone special, windows rolled down, speeding down a road that’s empty except for us, probably blasting selena gomez

dream job: i’m not sure yet. something that will make waking up at 6 am bearable

what i’m wearing rn: a t-shirt and pj bottoms

follower count: 1,160 (ya’ll keep unfollowing me smh)

posts: 1,775

why did you make your blog: originally, because i wanted to promote my sister’s story on FFN (back in 2013 or 2014), then it got deleted a couple of times so i remade. and the last time i “made” my blog was September 21st 2015. its a bittersweet day of the year for me and i was having an existential crisis

do you get asks on a daily basis: uhh no, i don’t even remember the last time i got an ask lmao (not counting the ask games i’ve reblogged the last couple of week, which have brought me a whole of three (3) new messages)

why did you choose your url: i wanted something voltron related, with shiro and/or keith, and preferably both. this one was available 

countries you’ve lived in: Croatia

languages you speak: croatian (serbian), english, i guess german, but a very basic level

favourite film: i love so many films honestly, but the first one that comes to mind at this question is always My Sister’s Keeper

last thing I bought online: i have literally never bought anything online lol

last person I dreamt of: i so very rarely remember my dreams, but i think it was a few nights ago that i dreamt of a girl who i have a bittersweet, again, relationship with. i can’t remember what the dream was about, just that it wasn’t about here, she was just there

a recurring dream: i don’t really remember dreams tbh (<- same)

phobias/fears: (shit yours is naaasty af), heights, death of loved ones (<- this one makes me a bit paranoid sometimes, i always have to know where everyone is and i get Pissed if they leave without telling somebody where they’re going/checking in)

how would my friends describe me: to be perfectly honest, i don’t really have any friends (not a pitty party, i chose this life xD) and i’m really not sure how the people in my life who love me would describe me. i, personally, would describe myself as a hermit bookworm lol. i guess i could ask

edit: my sister says pain in the ass

if I had $$$ to spend what would I buy first: anime plushies that i dont need

[laguna-noodle-blog]

Things you'll never read, and things I'll never tell you #1

Hi, I'm Laguna and although that's not my real name that's still what I'm going to go by because I don't want anyone I know coming across this. Im 17, I love the color red, and I constantly think about killing myself. Now I'm not asking for attention, this is just a way for me to release my feelings. Today is February 11th, Sunday 2018 and yet again I've gotten into an argument with who I call my boyfriend. I won't tell you his real name but for the sake of writing this I'll call him Death. Simply because that's how me makes me feel a lot of the time, like I wish I was dead. If anyone's reading this (which nobody probably is) then you're probably wondering why I'm dating him if he makes me feel like dying. The answer to that would be that when you love someone you do stupid things, plus I could be called Little Death because I make him feel the same way. Not talking about the past because that doesn't matter but if someone happens to read this (which no one will) and wants to know more then I'll make a separate post about it. For now we will talk about my feelings today and the situation that occurred.

Death and I talk on the phone every night and fall asleep together. When I say every night, I mean every single night. Unless he's ignoring me because I've done something wrong yet again. Most of the time his phone dies because he forgets to plug it in so I wake up alone. Since its the weekend and I didn't have to work today, he decided to call me in the morning but I didn't wake up. My dad called up the stairs about how he made breakfast, so I said okay and that I would be down. I immediately looked at the phone. Two missed calls from Death and two text messages. I sent him a message explaining what happened and how I was going to eat breakfast. He texted back saying while I was sleeping he ate something and blah blah blah. Long story short he said he was going to jerk off to hentai which made me mad because I felt like he was more attracted to girls with long hair and big boobs than he was to me. Stupid, I know. He was upset because I didn't call him even though he never asked me to and it seemed like he wanted to be alone. He ignored me until about 4:00 or something and told me he was taking alot of medication because he wanted to experiment. I've told him multiple times about how it makes me feel when he does that and he continues to not give a shit. I sent him a message saying "There's some things I have been thinking about all day that i would like to share with you. Im tired of holding it all in just so it won't cause a fight. My feelings never matter to you. I truly believe I'll never love myself. Not because I choose not too, but because I'm constantly reminded of how much of a piece of shit I really am. You constantly remind me of things I have done. Then you tell me that I've never made any mistakes and make it seem like I'm your god. You make me feel as if I'm getting in the way of things you want to do, and of who you want to be. I truly feel like I'm not good enough for you. Im rarely ever appreciated. I thank you regularly for the things you do for me and I constantly tell you what you mean to me and how amazing you are. Im tired of feeling like I'm nothing but a piece of shit to you. Im tired of feeling like you don't want to love me anymore. I can't tell you how much it fucking hurts. I constantly want to physically beat the shit out of myself. I am not happy. Yeah I'm aware it's my fault, so please don't tell me yet again that I'm the reason you want to kill yourself. Please don't remind me of how you don't try to make me happy anymore because of me. I don't need to hear that I'm not doing good enough, that I'm not changing fast enough. I don't want to hear how much of a worthless bitch I am to you anymore. No, I'm not having a pitty party for myself and no I'm not feeling sorry for myself. You want me to tell you how I feel, here it is. I love you with everything I am, and I'm not leaving you. I hope that this doesn't result in an argument I'm simply telling you how I feel in hopes you understand"

He basically flipped out said until I call that I'm going to suffer (he's going to ignore me) and he's tired of hearing my excuses. So i sit here pondering whether I should beat the shit out of myself, or cry, or both. Im tired of constantly being in pain, and being blamed for petty things. Im tired of being worthless, and not good enough. Im tired of everything. I promised I wouldn't leave him, so I can't. But I just want to be happy already, I want to live my life. But I can't. Im stuck being unhappy. Im not trying to be some annoying, self-pitty teenager, I just wanted to share my feelings.