#im sorry for being so inactive college is a ride

[carrot-junior]

Also, from now on im gonna leave my asks open so i can interact with some ppl

Sorry for being inactive for a while too! College has been a really weird ride for me. I'll post stuff when I can bros

[kevthesquirrel]

alexmorgan13 Thanks for hosting me @scsugram! Was great meeting so many people but especially these future soccer stars

[neatsaviors]

(( Hiatus ))

(( This got long and I needed to let it out, sorry for any inconveniences and thanks for sticking with me and my boys here ))

(( Sooooo yeah, shit hit the fan over here. My mother is absolutely furious with me and my brother because we're not doing well at College/School. I mean, I never went really well, I always struggled horribly to try and keep up with the class, schedules, several activities all at once, on top of trying to keep up with house chores, had internship at one point, bus trouble (and problems on the road which made me walk instead of taking a bus since my Mobylette isn't fixed enough for me to ride it to College yet) and personal stuff like this blog, selling commissions and painting t-shirts for commissions too. My brother has a very active social life unlike me, he's always invited to hang out with friends, they buy him tickets for parties and stuff, but as far as I knew he was doing fairly better than me at School anyway. Looks like he's been slipping lately as well. ))

(( The point is, she's got real mad, yelled at us, threatened to make me stop any and all artwork if that's what it's gotta take for me to focus my effort in College. Which is Graphic Design, mind you, so I need to do artworks anyway, but yeah. This includes artworks for this blog (which already has been very slow about it), commissions, t-shirts, anything else I might want to draw (she saw me attempting to draw Spyro last night and I guess she didn't like it because I didn't make it to College yesterday, she must think all I'm doing is drawing and watching cartoons) and even my recent job in the Artistic Team of Dogmons, a 100% Brazilian webcomic, being rebooted from a cancelled series from 2002 which was inspired on Pokémon and Digimon. I already warned my boss that there might be a delay for me to hand in my part in the production of artwork for Dogmons merchandise and the third chapter which I'm responsible for sketching. ))

(( I'm feeling absolutely terrible, the problems on the road making me walk nearly 7Km (approximately 4,5 miles, I guess?) from home to College in the hot sun without any shadow on the way, I'm feeling weak, exhausted, missed all classes this week because refused to walk, but I'm talking with a colleague and we'll meet today so I can do my College works/projects to not be left behind - my mother doesn't care about anything about it anymore. She's only seeing how much of a failure I am, and she's got a point. I entered College in 2012, should be done with this course since the end of 2013 or 2014 at most. But I'm still there, struggling and failing many and many times. I can't take it anymore but she won't let me quit the course. Guess I'll just kiss goodbye to my sanity, well being and my almost useless attempts of keeping myself healthy to some extent. ))

((I don't know what will be of this blog. I'm not abandoning it, neither deleting anything. I want to come back here at some point. You guys made me immensely happy, even the ones who never interacted aside from likes and reblogs. Besides I'll always be online as long as I don't delete Tumblr app from my phone, since this is a sideblog tied to my personal one. And if there's one thing my mother doesn't have power over, it's my phone. Anyway, this blog won't be active for who knows how long... Idk, just... Pray for me and/or wish me luck to not go insane. I did before, ended up in hospital badly sick for neglecting myself for the sake of not sleeping, eating, drinking, taking showers or etc and barely having any virtual/social contact with anyone just to do homeworks. I really didn't want to go through that Hell again but if it's what my dear mother wants, to see her daughter depressed and sick in hospital again, that's what she'll get. Who knows, maybe she will realize her mistakes this time. ))

(( Thank you all so much for making me happy here. The IM Chat is free if anyone ever want to talk, but the blog itself will be inactive. I got Discord if you prefer it, just message me here first. I love you all. ))

Plug out.

[peridipshit]

EDIT: IDK HOW TO MAKE A READMORE ON MOBILE SORRY FOR A WALL

hey hey guys ive been super inactive and theres a reason for that and that reason finally worked out and i cannot fucking begin to explain how good it is ghjklljhgfdghjkljhgfdghjkljhgfdghjklhgfhjkl

read more for a super lengthy overshare of angst and ecstasy

i kno w its fuckin long, its not for anybody but myself bc ye i have adhd myself and dont know how to read sh i t and dont expect anybody to have the patience for this

so, if i start at the beginning, ive had, the hardest period of my life starting around fall 2016. ive been in community college for about 4 years now, and i dont want to list all of the things ive done because it wouldnt reflect the mental emotional and physical exhaustion ive put myself through for all of this work. and all this time i thought it would amount to nothing because a lot of what i was supposed to be doing was pushed away out of fear. i filled up my time with a million impressive things that i genuinely loved and enjoyed, but knew it wasnt the actual work to get into the universities i was so desperate for. i pushed,, all my applications to the week or day before the due date. i had to give up three out of seven universities because of the deadline pressures. 

but my main school, the one that i returned to as the ideal place, but a laughable pipe dream, was the one i worked the absolute hardest for

i needed to do two different applications with a total of uh, 8 or 9 essays? the first round of 5ish essays i submitted the day before, and then the second application, i started the week before and completed the essays and storyboard, and hit the submit button 2 minutes before the deadline. i had two winter semester classes (which both kept me under a no-sleep schedule) and i juggled the application work by night. i ended up with like 3 total hours of sleep in that week. i almost gave up like three times but i remember crying after finding this song which coincidentally reflects the acceptance into the university im now somehow attending. it was the moment to myself that i decided i wanted to push through and grow up

the third round where i almost gave up was when my professor couldnt recieve my emails and i had no other way to contact him during the winter. i came to his office the week school started in spring with a deadline of three days to get my letter completed, and he submitted it an hour and a half before the deadline. i spent that weekend convinced i would just take another year at community college and at home and prepare myself more. i cried after checking my phone when i was walking out of Black Panther because he hadnt submitted it with less than two hours left before my application would have been thrown out. he submitted once i got into the car and refreshed the tab

last month i got an interview with the school of my dreams. i looked up the real statistics and they choose 30 transfer applicants for interview and accept 15. that moment was a rush of disbelief and brief sobbing as i realized that maybe im not crazy and not stupid and maybe just doing good things

that was the longest week of my life, but it wasnt a nervous thing at all. i knew i could nail an interview, it just was practicing. i spent each car ride to school talking to myself for 30 minutes. 

i literally could not have done anything as amazingly as i did in that interview without my friend’s help (hey dude), i was literally hearing that skype notification and have never had my heart pound as hard in my life. two seconds thinking about my friends and everything theyve done for me was like, a reminder that ppl care and have my back and istg that power of friendship anime bs is real my dudes and i couldnt ask for better people in my life 

i rocked it like some kind of word virtuoso person and waited a month for a notification

limbo is wierd

i spent so long knowing i was so, close, but not in a place to celebrate

the day i found out was Of Course as wild as it was, where i was having a panic attack out of everything in the morning that accumulated, i was like near crying in class because the prof was kinda yelling at me and i almost lost my project and had to run about a mile in heels to look for it and i was being hit on by a guy twice my age and i had 2 hours of sleep

but????????? i got into ucIa in their theater film and television school, which is harder than any ivy league school. me and 14 other transfer students. 92 total undergrads in that entire film school. ill be nineteen into my junior year. ill be at the heart of the industry going into animation and able to do practically anything. 

a n d i learned that not only my tuition room and board will be covered, but likely a ridiculous amount beyond that too.

i just. got to a point in my life last year that i knew that i was setting myself up for failure and i thought that if i wasnt improving i was failing and so i put so much onto myself in terms of working that i literally had no time for myself. no time for anything leisurely and no time for shows or movies or games or even friends. the only thing i felt like was my escape was cosplay and i still had that shamed by my family for wasting money and time. i of course had many moments and opportunities to do a few things that i regard very fondly, but overall i had no time to genuinely reflect on the damage that everything had caused. it felt like i had no time to cry ultimately, like some kind of hamster wheel of responsibility and fear. im still recovering now, and i want to be better. i want to do my best for myself and everyone around me. and i want to become someone that can be healthy and be myself. and yknow what im pretty damn proud of where im already at right now 

trying hard to keep coherency but i gotta wake up at 5 for an 8am class tomorrow so this is a lil rushed. its probably corny as hecc, but hell i feel just ok for a second and thats nice. i would never have gotten here with the support around me and like, my friends and family have done so much for me and i could write ten of these rambles on each one of you. you care about me and i care about you guys beyond anything these words can express. (*cough*quinn keira kevin cece*cough* not to say everyone else i know hasnt impacted me because gOd so many lives have done so much for me, i just, hey, love yall) 

my life is finally feeling like something big, ive never believed in the destined for greatness thing, ive just felt Capable of greatness and afraid beyond words of wasting it. and i want to be great for me, i want to be great to others, and i want to be great to the big picture. 

just, holy fuck i love you guys so much and thank you 

things are finally looking ok and i would repay you guys back in to the fullest extent of my hearts adoration and appreciation

[fthisimkmsing]

My notes cause I don't need them anymore (not a hail Mary attempt)

To the girl I've spent countless hours and days with I still love you more than life itself even though I may not need you i want you in my life your cute little smile when you fuck something up or when you can't reach something and you need my help your laugh and smile is euphoric and your character as a whole is amazing i love spending every waking moment with you you have been so helpful and kind to me hell you got me through many tough times and I'm sorry I am so inactive and don't like going out much I'll try to work on that but i just wnant to hold you in my arms forever and keep you close to me and safe you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous you will make a wonderful mother one day to our children or otherwise and I envy whoever you end up choosing if it's not me there's a couple of things i want to do again with you like another concert where it feels like just you and me or another round at the fair itd be wonderful i love you Rebekah so much I hope you know that and I miss you a lot too its 2 am so im gonna go to sleep goodnight  i promise if i have anymore to say ill come back and add on sleep well my beautiful angel <3 funny thing is im typing this to make myself feel better like im talking to you even though you probably won't ever see this i pray that you will find what you need in life you mean so much to me i told my new coworker about you and how gorgeous and smart you are i really wish i could just tell you all of this but you want me to stay away  i really hope we find our happily ever after whether it be together or apart but you will always be so many of my firsts and so many of my fondest memories <3 today I told my new coworker how proud I was of you getting your car and how you bought it yourself i really miss hugging you and cuddling you and seeing your gorgeous ass self you are really amazing and i love you so much I'd die/take a bullet for you in a heartbeat but today i really came to a realization you probably won't like to hear if you get back together with me i realized that even though im a little chubby and should really work out more i am the whole package I will be a great husband and have a great future and whomever decides to come along for that ride would really enjoy it i feel so if you weren't to come back you're missing out on a guaranteed great husband and great future which yes i know confidence much maybe almost downright cocky but I'm happy with what the future holds for me and whomever decides to come with me and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times i wish it could be you i really do cause despite my being scared of you potentially cheating I have faith and deep down i know you won't cause you are honest and real with me (unless you weren't in which case awwwkwaaarrrdd) but yeah you'd be a great mother and whoever you marry will be lucky and happy they have you and same thing for me :) you know the funniest thing anytime i text anyone and so ok i love you too your name pops up first in my next word choice box cause that's what I did i loved you hell i definitely still do and for some reason if you asked me to marry you there would be no hesitation no i need time to think just one word yes cause that's who i am and that's how head over heels i am for you i want to hug you bad hell I'd give away my paycheck to fucking see and talk to you again and make you fall in love all over again you did something no one and nothing could do you made me truly happy like true true happiness i love you so much Rebekah sleep well baby girl I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow you are the bestest ever forever <3 lol today was my first ever college football tailgate with my church college group in Greenville today was also one of those days I was sad but i wasn't at first i was fine just felt a little out of place but quickly threw myself in and i got away from everyone for a bit and checked snapchat and saw that you finally got your tattoo and I was so happy for you but sad at the same time cause I wanted to be with you maybe get one with you but sadly i missed that milestone

Im sorry for missing your first tattoo I wish i couldve been there for you and with you im so proud of you cause your tattoo couldn't be truer you are coming from nothing and making big strides that's a big accomplishment I love you hell maybe I'll get a tattoo soon you never know i saw the flirting posts that i "liked" so i unfollowed you on everything cause it hurt so much i like instantly started crying and what do they have i don't you are killing me it broke me all over again i did everything I could to make you happy i tried so hard and it feels like you're really not fighting or trying to better yourself it feels like you just want to get with someone else cause I wasn't enough for you my efforts meant nothing today a Sunday night i was with my small group and you "accidentally sent me a video of you showing off your new tattoo the day or so after i removed you from all social media since i found out unfriending doesn't make me disappear on your end so i blocked you sorry but i have to thank you for understanding and being respectful so recently I've really been going after God and it came to my attention that i was wanting you to be something you can't be and weren't designed to be aka i wanted you to satisfy me completely which is impossible only God can do that also i lusted after you so much even though i had so much love for you aswell but my lust being me using you for my benefit aka my happiness and stuff was wrong i should've been more loving aka sacrificial of myself to benefit or help you and I'm so very sorry about that i wish i couldve been a better leader for you sadly for right now at least it seems i am too late hey i just wanted to say even if we don't get back together I'm really glad i met you you were a wonderful first also you'd be proud of me i was gogogo for 17/18 hours from 4:50am to 9:53pm thats kinda insane for me lol I'm so happy today like i feel hella blessed and loved and it's not necessarily from a person i just feel so in touch with God rn i know ur probably like smh but for real im like on fire its awesome but i just wanted to let you know even though you might never see this and if you do its been a hot minute lol but it's not to hurt you it's to show you i guess my self improvement slash progression of life in general i suppose  also just wanted you to know but im sure u already do you are a really beautiful woman and I am saying that cause i can appreciate a beautiful woman you don't have priority anymore but i just wanted to let you know that god bless that was hard to explain but even that is obscure IM NOT HITTING ON YOU IM JUST APPRECIATING GOD'S CRAFTSMANSHIP BAM there we go ok so just looked at pictures of us on my phone and hot damn you fine lol (still appreciating the craftsmanship) hey its been a bit i went on a retreat with fuse and it was amazing i met a lot of guys and girls and am continuing to talk with some of the girls but the more i talk with them the more i miss talking with you i really wish we could at least be friends again but i guess not :( I'm glad I met you Rebekah you were a fantastic first girlfriend I just want you to know im not mad with you i respect your decision wholeheartedly you were great and hell I'll say it I miss you you were really fun to hang with i wish to tell you this but alas I'm here and you're nowhere to be seen in my life and I can almost guarantee you're not as affected and definitely not to the degree I am (it's not so bad for you you have to  journal your experience of life without me) part of my heart is with you and always will be because the sex we had same thing with you part of your heart will always be with me and im sorry for that today i thought about you and when you told me that you imagined us sitting on the porch in rocking chairs and it kinda made me think and i was like you probably gonna come back and I hope you do but if you don't that's highly unfortunate  it's felt like months since we saw eachother last but it's only been like 1 and a half  longest month of my life tbh

Its 9/23/19 I'm gonna talk to your mom tomorrow after i get off work to check up on how everyone is doing you will probably hear a little or everything that's going on with me it may not attract you in fact it's very possible it'll repel you but hey it really doesn't matter you're an awesome girl and I'm a pretty cool dude lol if you decide to go separate ways that is your choice and I'll respect it even if it saddens me because I'm moving forward  which is something else I never thought I'd be where i am today this early but I hope you you do come back you did make my life happier but now I'm happy even without you which is awesome I swear to never rely on you for my happiness I will look more towards the Lord and walk towards him with you by my side and no more big mistakes oh btw I talked with your mom and I'm glad I did your mom is a good mom I really miss you and your family and I keep praying for you guys and for clarity of who I'm meant to be with or if im not supposed to be with you at all and last night I dreamed about you so I think that was God telling me i need to be with you but I don't know I want to be with you don't het me wrong but I don't want to misinterpret my dreams it's now 9/27/19 and it hurt me to hear you were dating someone tbh but I'm glad you are getting out there and I'm happy for you regarding how well you are doing at church what I don't think is good is that you're dating someone that doesn't know the lord he has someone for you that knows and loves him thus you shouldn't be in that relationship in my opinion but as i said I just want the best for you

" we do bible shit"

[ts-hvv4]

EPISODE NINE: “NOW THINGS ARE GETTING MESSIER” - JAKE

So full disclosure, this is the first time i've ever really betrayed a close ally in TS and it feels bad ???? IDK i'm not used to being the bad guy. Honestly, say what you want but Chris' blood is all over my hands. I'm the one who went around telling people that Chris/Malik/Dennis were close and I am the one who was there for the villains as their extra number. I'm not relying on my physical game this season and it's a way different vibe..... should make for an interesting game moving forward

Well, at last nights tribal Chris went home 5-4-3. I was not shocked, I knew that would happen. I also knew that by taking part in that I was pretty much cutting my ties with Dennis and Malik. Malik seems really mad at me, which yeah I get but also I think it wouldn't have been smart to tell him. I needed to show my loyalty to the villains; most of whom do not trust him. I think I've gotten in close enough with the people that have sway in this game (minus Jake) to do some damage moving forward. I am taking this all one day at a time at this point.

WHEW SOOOOOOO the first merge vote happened...I feel like the devil but I look good in red so hehe. BASICALLY I was able to get everyone to target Chris instead of one of the Armonia heroes which was high key about to happen. Both Matt and Nicklas wanted Ned gone and Ned is a ride or die for me so they really thought. Unfortunately it meant the only way I could get the target on Chris was by exposing his idol, because I couldn’t without it. So I told Ned to tell Sarah knowing Sarah would tell The Huntresses. What I did not expect to happen was for her to tell me first and IMMEDIATELY after Ned told her. I think she really trusts me???? Am I starting to trust her???? Do girls really run the world???? So anyways Sarah and I devise a plan to split the vote between Chris and someone else, Matt and Sarah push for Malik and I really wanted to fight it. Not because I wanted to save Malik, fuck him to the fuckteenth degree. But I would have really loved to NOT split the vote against the two only black people on the tribe (now we said it.gif). But standing up for Malik puts a target on OG Armonia and at the end of the day Malik has proven he doesn’t want to work with me so forget you, go home, good bye. I just feel so bad for Chris because I’m the reason he was the target...but it was the best move for me and I don’t care how nice you are, I will always do what I need to, to win. That’s why I’m a villain, that’s why I’m a two time winner, and that’s unfortunately why Chris is the merge boot. Now looking at the merge and my relationships, Ned and I are better than ever. We had another heart to heart and he’s such a stand up guy, I’ve grown to care for him alot in the game. Because of that I can’t betray him at this point, but it’s nice because I don’t think I need to. His inactivity reminds me a lot of L’Shei. A smart loyal ally who only really talks to me...that’s not a bad deal when it comes time to who you vote for at the end. And I’m trying to get him to push his relationship with Sarah and get close to her, so that she will protect him and I won’t have to reveal how close I am to him. Plus with Sarah and I getting closer, I could see us goils going really far together. The only wrench in that is Nicklas knows I was a part of a plan to take her out, so Nicklas continues to be a threat to my game. I want him out faster than a queer in college. BUTTTT it’s hard because he’s tight af with Jake. If I look at the threats to me winning objectively, it’s Nicklas, Jake and Kurt…Nicklas and Jake because they are smart enough to know they need to take me out. Kurt because he’s so likable, he hasn’t pissed anyone off (because I’m doing that for us), and he’s enough of a gamer. Like if Kurt wins against me it’s earned, if I win against Kurt it’s earned, our games are pretty tight. I have no issue getting rid of Nicklas, I have no issue getting rid of Jake when I need to because I know he’ll do the same, I don’t know if I can take Kurt out...I really don’t....I would feel like the worst human on earth. Last time I played I knew there was no way I could win, but this time I want that third crown. The question towards the end of the game is going to be: how fucking much bitch...how fucking much.

*a little bit lateR*

I know that now that i'm not winning immunity FLAKJDS that I need to protect myself. As much as I DESPISE Malik, I know it’s smart to get him on my side right now because he has no one and is desperate...and y'all know how I love desperation hehe, it's a delicious meal with a side of unyielding loyalty. He wants to get an alliance going but I'm telling him that's impossible because of everyone's intertwining connections and the best thing to do is to keep our allegiance to each other a secret so we can keep each other safe from our opposing sides. This is necessary because if people want to make a move against me, they are going to think Malik is an easy number to do that with, so they are going to go to him to make the move, and then he's going to come to me. Covering my bases and this thicc ass. I’m also not going to tell Jake about this, point blank and the period I don’t trust him right now and I need to play him like I did Sid in Tonga, wait for him to start the foundation of a move against me not realizing I got bear traps all along his route. I’m not sure what this next vote is, all I know is I need to keep Malik protected without people thinking Armonia is getting the band back together. Right now my three biggest targets are Nicklas/Dennis/Andreas because I have no relationship with them and I have a relationship with everyone else. I don’t know how to get the vote on one of them because they all have deep connections in the game, but I need to think of something and soon because if not, an Armonia person is leaving and that hurts my game drastically. If I could get the vote on Chris when it was supposed to be Malik or Ned...I can do it again. Also catch my fake ass talking about destroying tribe lines at tribal council KFLJASD

Wow so tribal went very smooth, like butter. Chris is gone, his idol is gone, his kindness is gone, we have no room for any of that here. This is a villains season. And this is great because I’m like “villains strong omg guys” but in the back of my mind I know these shady motherfuckers are gonna start plotting, it’s inevitable. I’d be naive to think otherwise. The only problem with this vote was that it involved lying to Malik which is literally what I’ve been doing this entire game, but this time it’s more direct. It will be exposed and for the first time I risked burning that bridge with him entirely. Luckily he is very easy to manipulate and I feel like after literally two paragraphs and some guilt trips later (because he didn’t include me in on how he was voting, oh boohoo poor me), he was back in my pocket. God I love being evil and beautiful.

I sucked at immunity, which is great! I do not want to come off as a comp threat and give anyone any reason to come at me. I know that sounds like bullshit and it’s like “come on, one immunity won’t kill”. See, I entirely agree, but I want people to underestimate me and consider me weak, at least until f8. The other issue is that I actually already won an immunity this season, pre merge, but it was still individual immunity. I don’t want to rack up wins quite yet. If people think I’m easy to beat, at least comp wise, I have no issue with them keeping me around for that sole reason.

Last night was not good for me!! Once again no one was chatting, while Sarah was keeping me up to date on whats happening in the villains and huntresses groups. THEN Nicklas comes at me from left field and tells me that people know me and Sarah are close friends which was inevitable but I think puts a huge target on me. I took a big risk last round turning on the heroes and if the villains aren't willing to work with me right now I might be in a tangly spot.

Also okay so Andreas did some sleuthing and found some stuff.... SO I was on the wiki and saw this random account edited the Santorini page? So I was curious and clicked on the profile, and it turns out to be Sharifa. Cool enough. SO THEN i see she's active on this 'Survivor: Side Seasons' wiki ???? So once again im curious, I click on it. She made her first edit on this wiki in 4 years on Feb 19th, 4 days after the game began. She removed herself as listed as a host from a season, and turns out that kurt and matt both played in this season. Interesting and also questionable.

Sry I haven’t confused in a hot minute. Okay so we merged and right off the bat it was a little messy between sharifa and nicklas because I’m trying hard to get them to trust each other but sharifa thinks that Nicklas is too smart and will clock us. Tbh at this point I think it’s a lost cause. At the beginning of merge, Kurt tells me that lukas told him that ned told his last tribe that I wanted him to be Ammonia strong, and then Nicklas confirmed that to me and that everyone on his old tribe knows. So I blew up on Ned, who tells me that he told Malik who told Chris and Dennis because they’re close and that he’s really sorry about it. So was kinda annoyed that he was barely on but had time to accidentally almost ruin my game! So the votes happening and all of a sudden the villains chat is working together? Like oh? Someone found out that Chris has an idol and I am fully onboard to target his trio. We decide to split the votes between Chris and Malik and Chris goes. Now things are getting MESSIER. Someone told Sarah that sharifa has been saying her and andreas are friends which is a yikes. I only ever told Nicklas that but never mentioned sharifa saying it. I was hoping for an Andreas blindside because he has connections and is close to Sarah who has an idol, but clearly we got RATS on this island. (Eyes Lukas) Soooo things are probably going to be messy af tonight but I would like to work with Dennis to make a move since he tried building a bridge w me yesterday, but I also know he did it to multiple people so it might not be truly beneficial to me... whatever we’ll see!

Honestly sharifa thinking ned is loyal to her is so funny He told me about chris’s idol and he told sharifa and she be like omg ned pls tell sarah this so we can both know Bitch i already knew bc andreas/ned/I are close af Anyways, nick is starting to say that were close and we just merged so i really dont need that shit so im trying to convince sharifa and the others that he needs to GO matt is awol again so we really need to sort thay shit out. Im in a villains alliance but i want to be the first person to switch on it bc ned/andreas are heroes and i cant have the villains just completely demolishing them bc thats ugly Anyways its so fucking hard protecting them when im in an alliance with CRAZIES

So villains have agreed unanimously again that we’re going to pick off another hero, and because Ned and Andreas proved last tribal that they were willing to work with us, we decided to spare those two. That means once again the vote came down to Malik and Dennis. Sarah and Nicklas were both very outspoken to multiple people that they didn’t want to vote Dennis, which definitely raised some red flags. Why lobby to keep Dennis if you’re not aligned with him and Malik is the perfect goat? It was just very suspicious. ANYWAYS, we convinced Sarah to vote Dennis due to Lukas and I using the logic that Dennis is a much smarter player and it’s dangerous to keep him in, and of course if sarah did have something going with Dennis or any reason to keep him, she sure as shit wasn’t going to fight logic in the villains alliance chat. That would expose her. And she only does well at blowing her shit up behind the scenes, not in the open. So basically where I’m getting at with this is that the vote is going to Dennis by the looks of it.

I realized I won’t give these people the satisfaction of seeing me upset if I leave. It’s not even with the energy or to see them smile and laugh like they accomplished something in their life. Imma just do what I usually do these days is laugh it off and wish everyone the best of luck. Because that’s what a true player does.