#im sorry @ aromantics if im misunderstanding what a qpr is

[gutsfics]

hello!! i know you've posted about, i believe it was tobias and your loa mc, being in a queer platonic relationship, which i find very interesting, but i'm just curious what exactly a qpr is? and maybe more specifically what it means to you and your characters if you want to share that?

i'm going to preface this by saying that i have never been in a qpr myself (afaik), and i am still trying to figure out my romantic (and sexual, tbh) orientation, so what i know about it is stuff ive learned from people who are aromantic and in a qpr! just no personal first hand experience

a queerplatonic relationship is, from my understanding, when two (or more! im sure there are queerplatonic polycules out there) people take on very strong and important roles in each other's lives, similar to roles that romantic partners might take, ie living together, taking care of each other when sick or hurt, sharing financials, being emergency contacts, and possibly getting married for those sweet sweet legal benefits. like, its one thing to have a friend help take care of you while your sick and another thing to have a person in your life you can share financial and legal burdens with, just to lighten the load. just without the romance. not necessarily without the sex- that varies person to person. the "platonic" part refers to romance

for Tobias and Reigan, their relationship started off as a "we're aromantic and we're out but people in our lives won't stop hounding us to settle down bc they don't understand what being aromantic means no matter how many times we explain it. do you wanna fake date?" and as they got to know each other they both decided that the other was kind of the perfect person to depend on, financially* and legally. they get married twice, once in a courthouse in Boston and then again a year later bc their parents were all disappointed they didn't do a big white wedding (the second one was technically a vow renewal but they didn't. really give vows the first time. they just rocked up to a courthouse and were like "hey. marry us.")

so basically. Tobias and Reigan's relationship, for them, is about both the legal/financial security that comes from being married, and getting family members to stop asking when they'll settle down (& in Reigan's case, to get Joaquin to stop flirting w him🥴). Also: friendship. these two vibe like no other & they genuinely just enjoy spending time with each other

*i am not saying this in a "one or both is gold diggers" type way but in a "buying a house is expensive and difficult by yourself" way. although im sure thats probably obvious bc theyre a doctor and a lawyer living very comfortably in nyc (Tobais eventually moves in w Reigan when he decides his time in Boston/at Edenbrook is done)