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vxiphoid · 1 year ago

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SERENE SHENANIGANS

❨ summary ❩ twst › waking them up to tell them stories that don’t make sense

tags ✧ fluff, crack, savanaclaw boys, defo not proofread its like 7 am, cursing but nothing out of the ordinary, ooc(?), ruggie calls you a little shit like once (affectionate), jack is whipped for you

amanuensis’ message ⊹ I LITERALLY LOVE DOING THIS??? my friends hate me for it. but anyways hiii im back after like my month hiatus, how are thy sleeplings?😋 mb guys writers block has been really kicking my ass, i was spitting blanks on paper… i’m gonna hopefully post another pastry emporium soon for scarabia so stay tuned for that‼️

⌜ 300+ e/chara ⌟

♫ sunset boulevard - hohyun

twst masterlist

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

— “leona… pspsps….”

— he hums gruffly when his name was called the first time, only opening his eye thinking you called him a second time when it was really just noise that you would make to get the attention of a house cat. he instantly pins his ears back. how dare you. “hmm?”

— “so i took our snail for a walk and i had accidentally left my feet here to wash the dishes because the grass was blue.”

— huh? you could see him trying to process everything you just said as you explained, his lips parting and eyebrows furrowing. it took everything in you not to laugh. he does one of those blinks, the really delayed ones, one eye opens before the other…

— he’s half asleep too so the confusion is just adding up altogether. if chicken scratch wasn’t a writing term, this is literally it in words. its like the books back at home he picks up to read (derogatory) its, what, 4 am? dont do this to him😭

— you’ve never seen him so expressive💀 this definitely makes his eye and ear twitch at the same time. what type of fucked up fever dream is this?? its usually a blessing seeing you as the first thing he wakes up to, not when you wake him up with some bull strung up in a sentence with your beady eyes staring at him while he sleeps. he loves you, yes, but what does he even say to this…

— “what…”

— your forehead met with his chest as you struggled not to laugh at the uncharacteristic break in leona’s voice. how many cups of coffee did you drink? he asks you to repeat yourself even though it kinda a mind mush decision so you did and by the end of it, he looks absolutely restless.

— “that’s… yes. that’s great, herbivore. can we go to bed now?”

— you note that leona is surprisingly patient when half asleep

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

JACK HOWL

— deep sleeper. tug his ear. though he practically springs up before your hand makes contact, giving himself whiplash.

— “jack?”

— almost instantly relaxes when he realizes its you, tail wagging subtly☹️ “hi, baby. s’something wrong?”

— “hiii, do you remember a year ahead ago when i had to go to the dentist to get my spine fixed and the cats were barking at the flying dogs because the sky was in the water?”

— bro feels like he just had a stroke💀 he’s blinking rapidly, rubbing nose bridge as you explain. he really wants to understand, he does, but wtf did you just say??? it was the innocent “hi” before you unapologetically bashed his head in with the entire dictionary. its so ridiculous he couldn’t help but laugh.

— “jack, this is serious.” even as you told him that, your voice was not steady at all which made his shoulders shake violently in silent laughter.

— “im listening, i swear. tell me one more time?” yk his ass is not listening. he pulls you into his lap while his thumbs idly rubbed your sides, responding to your stories with “uh-huh” and “yeah?” with a lovesick smile on his face.

— eventually holds your face and starts pressing heart squeezing, fluffy kisses all over your face which truly made you more tired then you were. you honestly start forgetting what and where the story was going.

— jack only pauses his kissing attack to respond when you take a small break but even then he doesn’t pull away fully, he’s just speaking against your skin

— “—and the duck had my arm while i was taking it on a walk because gran tammy was in a flying shopping cart.”

— “oh wow. and then?”

— he’s listening but he’s not, mostly because he’s like two seconds away from dreamland and his brain isn’t registering half the shit you’re saying. he wants to see how many stories you can jumble up.

— “yeah, i think it’s bedtime for us…”

┏━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

RUGGIE BUCCHI

— omfg he wakes up like a mom. like yk how you would barely touch them and they would gasp like they were just given cpr?? he wakes up like that.

— and you’re just standing there awkwardly 👁️👁️

— takes a quick look around before looking at you. “what happened? is it time to wake up leona already?” you shake your head and ruggie flops back, an arm draped over his eyes. “you scared me… come, lay down with me?” he held his free arm out for you and you did take your place cozied up against his side. to your surprise, you did actually scare the living shit out of him from how fast his heart was racing.

— “ruggie, yk i just found out you’re related to turtles, right? and i had to take uncle bobby to the vet to get a dna test because the fish drowned in air.”

— slow roblox turn towards you but instead its his head as he cranes it down to stare at you. you can practically hear the gears in his head turning and you literally could not look at him or you’d blow your cover.🧍🏾

— “i’m sorry,, what the fuck??”

— he’s genuinely confused, asking you questions about your story while his brain tries to put together the pieces. each question he asks, the more its harder to speak in full sentences other than wheezes

— “what are you laughing at, ya little shit? explain this to me!”

— “i’m trying!”

— and you are😭 its like when you have to explain the family tree really slow bc you cant say, “my father’s girlfriend’s son” without him like ???? and you’re trying to explain it to him slowly, eventually forgetting what you said in the first place…

— “…and the fish drowned in air.”

— “yes.”

— “sweetheart, you still haven’t explained how i’m related to turtles—”

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bloodyinkandquill · 6 days ago

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Illumina and child figure Reader

they never specified so i’m assuming they want child reader sorry if i assumed wrong let me know if i did and ill do a new one!

to keep my theme i don’t put anything before the characters name so this is more accurately father figure illumina but oh well

sorry for my semi hiatus i haven’t had much motivation but im writing to get my mind off of the election and ive got brownies cooling on the counter, we also have a new puppy dm me for pics because she is the cutest thing oh my gods

- Sneaking into Illumina’s temple to steal food from his offerings takes some guts, or you were incredibly stupid, it could be either honestly, seeing as you were a kid probably both honestly

- When Illumina sensed someone not only stealing from his temple but one of his offerings he showed up immediately, pissed if not a little impressed someone had the nerve, then he saw you, a small, very thin, shaking little kid holding a single loaf of bread, normally he’d smite you without a second chance but something stopped him, maybe it was that your horn looked very slightly like his, maybe jealousy of some of his siblings, or maybe he was just tired, but he stopped and didn’t smite you

- He asked what you were doing, stealing from his temple, you said you were starving, you needed something to eat, and the only place nearby was his temple, you were so sorry, he made an odd sound before sighing and saying he’d get you some proper food, something that wasn’t an offering to him, realizing it was an offering you panicked and he said it was whatever, bringing you to his worshippers to make you food

- They were all a bit confused but they did so obediently and you had the best soup you’ve ever had, as you ate he asked you questions about yourself, your name, age, etc, finally he eventually said you could stay in his temple, he’d have his worshippers make sure you were bathed and fed, you were extremely thankful if not a bit confused

- His demeanor remained cold and stern but he did seem a bit more soft towards you, after he left you were given your own room and taken care of, when you saw him next you immediately ran up and gave him a hug, barely even making it up to his waist, seeing you in his follower’s robes, and the way they were too large for you, sparked something unfamiliar in him, a parental instinct

- He was unfamiliar with the feeling, but he’d heard some of his siblings describe it before, and he realized he wanted to protect you, not just have you be cared for by his worshippers, but he wanted to take care do you, so suddenly you were in his home, sort of, you think it’s his home but it looked… weird*

- Illumina isn’t the most expressive or talkative guy but you knew he does care about you, making sure you’re always properly fed and clean, if you ask for something he doesn’t respond but a few hours later you find that thing in or near your room, you always give him a hug when you do, slowly as time went on he’d touch you back during the hugs, a pat on the head, ruffling your hair, and after awhile he’d bend down to your level so he could hug you back properly

- He has some weird bird brain instincts on occasion which is why sometimes you end up sleeping in a big pile of blankets and pillows curled up next to him, he makes cooing sounds contently and you fall asleep not a worry on your mind, safe and warm, though him trying to feed you is something you do not like, at least it isn’t proper baby bird style just spoon feeding instead

- His siblings don’t know about you, okay that’s not entirely true, Ghostwalker has seen you before but doesn’t know the full extent of his brothers care towards you, but besides for him the others have no idea he adopted a mortal, let alone who he met because they stole from him

- Sometimes he disappears for days at a time, if he knows that that’s going to happen he leaves you in the care of his followers, when they first took care of you it was begrudgingly but now that you’re basically his child they treat you with a lot more care and gentleness, you also were given special robes by him so that when they do have to take care of you they know who you are immediately, that is if they don’t see your eyes immediately

- If Illumina blesses or gifts one of his worshippers their eyes go fully white like his, in your case they went a light purple instead, but same principle applies, your pupils disappeared and anyone who looks at your face can tell at the very least you have his blessings, if not that you’re more special then a normal follower who’s received his gift

- Soup is still your favorite food, it reminds you of the day you met him, even if he never admits it knowing that soup is your favorite food and when he sees you eat it it makes something warm spring up in his chest

- He’s not much of a talker, but he enjoys listening to you ramble on about anything and everything, even if not that coherent it’s pure and childish, maybe what you did that day, the story behind a drawing you made, the story you’re currently acting out with your toys, which speaking of are sick, he had almost never interacted which children before you so he basically got you everything, going form a homeless street child to owning basically every toy in existence was a pretty sweet thing

- After a few months he teaches you how to preen him, you’re not amazing at it but you have plenty of time to learn, and your small hands make it so you can be a lot more careful, after you preen him though he immediately starts brushing your hair and straightening your clothes, it’s his way of preening you back, since you don’t have wings (yet) of your own so taking care of your hair and cleaning you up slightly is the closest he can get

- On very rare occasion he returns home with injuries, usually from fights gone too far with Darkheart, or maybe once or twice Venomshank, either way you watch from his doorway as he bandages himself up hissing in pain as he cleans and dresses his wounds, after he finishes you come in with a stuffed animal handing it to him and gently crawl into his lap, it relaxes him and you fall asleep in his nest with him that night, every stuffed animal you give him during those times ends up in his nest, he treasures them, in his own way, when he’s a very stoic guy it’s not obvious but you’ve learned to read him, he also lets himself show more emotion around you, since you are just a child who can’t understand him that well normally

- When you first saw him appear that day in his temple, you thought for sure your life was over, but instead you gained a father, and even if you never said it, you were eternally grateful for all of it, falling asleep curled up next to a deity who was almost twice your height was never your plan, but you were happy it happened

i am stressing over this election but i’m tired now, imma go to bed, ALSO

i made a friend in this community and they offered to help with this blog, idk if it will happen but on occasion they may do a request for me ill say if they do it’s not a guarantee but just letting you all know there’s a chance i might get some help on these here and there

* according to soda illumina kind of has a house ‘it’s weird’ what that means is unclear

#x reader #phighting x reader #phighting #phighting!#platonic #illumina phighting #illumina x reader #phighting illumina #phighting illumina x reader #illumina x reader phighting #illumina

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crayooongle · 2 months ago

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Comfort (2.8k)

SoftDom!Bakugo x sub!(f)reader + HardDom!Todoroki x sub!(f)reader

Cw: cheating, unprotected sex, (f)receiving, remote vibrator, edging, shower sex, hair pulling, slight voyeurism, Todoroki is pretty mean here, neglect, recording w/o consent

Pet names: princess, slut

Notes: so sorry for going on a hiatus but im back now! Hope you guys enjoy, this was a gift for @hitoshilover

!Not really proofread so tread carefully😓!

Summary:

your boyfriend, Todoroki, has been quite neglectful so you turn to your old friend Bakugo for comfort. You really didn’t mean for it anything more, unfortunately for you, your boyfriend ended up finding out

You were voted most loyal by your whole friend group back in high school. Kinda ironic now considering you were on your way to Bakugo’s apartment. Your intentions are very far from cheating on your boyfriend but even just going to another man’s apartment, let alone someone your boyfriend was most definitely not fond of, felt wrong. Even with that in mind, you knew you just needed comfort and you’d be on your merry way. It wasn’t your fault your boyfriend was being neglectful and not treating you the way you knew you deserved. He never had time for you anymore, he stopped taking you out on dates and getting you thoughtful gifts. It’s like he just didn’t care to put any effort into the relationship.

You tried addressing this issue to Todoroki but he became very defensive almost immediately. You understood he was most often stressed, overworked and tired but you still deserved attention too.

You were at your breaking point, you’d had enough of Todoroki being a dick and not having someone to vent to about it. Which is exactly why when your old high school friend, Bakugo, texted you; you immediately poured your heart out in his dms. That was the first time you two had talked in months, he wasn’t very good at keeping in contact with people and neither were you.

Furious would be an understatement in describing how he felt about your situation. Obviously, not at you- though he thought you weren’t the smartest person for getting with someone like Todoroki- but he would’ve never suspected you to just let someone treat you that way. You didn’t go into much detail since it would be too much to talk about over text. So, Bakugo suggested you come by his apartment so he could cheer you up. Since, it was close by- about a 30 minute drive- you thought whats the worst that could happen?

You hop out your car and walk towards what seemed like Bakugo’s apartment complex. There was still time to turn back and rot away in your bed, like you’ve been doing for about a week now. But there was really no point when your much needed comfort was on the other side of the door.

You gently knock on the door about 3 times and wait. Not a moment later the door swung open and you were greeted with the blond haired man. He was trying to hide a smile, you could tell he was pretty happy to see you again. You two always had chemistry, it never went past small flirting and “hanging out” which were honestly just dates but you two played it off like they weren’t.

Tears began forming in your eyes as soon as you saw Bakugo. His small smile dropped into a frown and he immediately held his arm out to hold you. He kept one arm on you and dragged you inside, using the other hand to close the door behind you. He led you to his couch and he let go of you to sit down but gently pulled you by your waist so you could lay on him. You then rested your head on his chest and continued to silently sob in his arms. He held you tightly, caressing your check to wipe away the hot tears streaming down your face every so often.

“I cant believe Todoroki out of all people,” Bakugo started,”He’s a dick and a loser, who gave him the right to treat you like this? Who the fuck does he think he is? Why are you even dating this fucking guy? You know he doesn’t deserve you.”Bakugo said through gritted teeth, he was progressively getting more and more irritated the more he thought about your situation.

“I dont know.” Is all you could get out in between your heavy sobs.

Bakugo immediately softened up, he realized getting mad wasn’t the approach and it definitely wasn’t going to help you feel better.

He took a deep breath before putting his hand on your chin to make you look up at him.

“You deserve someone who is going to treat you right, y/n. You shouldn’t just let some guy walk all over you and be an asshole because he has nothing better to do than treat his girlfriend like shit.”

“Any guy would be lucky to have you,” He said as he caressed your cheek softly.

“You have an amazing personality and a bright future ahead of you. You need someone that’ll compliment you and help you become a better person, not someone that’ll treat you like you’re worthless when you’re not.” He paused for a moment before speaking again.

“I hate that this is how we ended up talking again. But I really missed spending time with you.” He continued.

“Youre too pretty to be crying over that loser,” You chuckled and looked away as you blushed out of embarrassment.

“Youre just saying that to make me feel better,” you playfully said and rolled your eyes.

“What? You don’t think i mean it?” He asked and grabbed your chin to make you look at him again.

There was definitely tension as you two made eye contact, you noticed as Bakugo switched between looking at your glassy eyes and your puffy lips.

“Well do you?” You practically whispered as you subconsciously leaned in.

“How about i show you,” Bakugo finally said before closing the gap between you two.

You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been waiting for this moment for some time. You and Bakugo got along so well back in high school, the only reason it didn’t work it was because you were too scared to confess your feelings before graduation. He ended up moving out of the city and you two lost contact. He had only moved to a place near you recently and it was pure coincidence. You honestly had no idea the feelings were reciprocated though.

His lips were so soft and gentle against yours, the kiss was full of love but you could tell he’d been waiting to kiss you just as long as you’d been waiting to kiss him. The way his tongue danced against yours was perfect, you two had never kissed before but somehow he knew exactly how to move his lips against yours in just the right ways. You never wanted this moment to end but you knew it was wrong.

You pulled away and tried to move back,“Bakugo… we really shouldn’t be doing this”.

“Says who?” He asked, eyes once again focused on your lips. He leaned in once more and pulled you closer to him. Your thoughts were definitely clouded but you gave in anyway.

Without breaking the kiss Bakugo lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his torso. He carried you to his bedroom as you guys sloppily ate each-other’s faces off. He laid you down on your back on his navy blue sheets. He pulled away from you so he could slide his sweatpants off.

“How bout i make you forget all about that jerk, how does that sound princess?” He asked while pulling your shorts and panties off.

You looked up at him and nodded, you watched him slip his dick out of his boxers. You only caught a glimpse of it but it was definitely bigger than Todoroki’s. Not that you even really remembered what his dick looked like anymore. Todoroki hadn’t touched you like this in what- weeks? Months? Who knows, all you could really focus on was Bakugo’s rough hands dragging across your soft skin.

He slowly slid into you and attacked your neck, leaving bites marks and hickies all across your neck and collar bone. You gasped once you felt him fully in you, his pace was just perfect. He knew how to hit the same spot with every thrust and make you chant his name like a prayer.

You didn’t care about the morality of the situation at this point, you just cared about cumming on Bakugo’s dick like you’ve wanting to for all these years.

“I bet you wish he fucked you like this.” Bakugo chuckled while he was balls deep inside you.

He kept switching from slow and deep to fast and hard, you were so close your legs were shaking.

“Bakugo please, please make me cum,” you begged and wrapped your legs and arms around him tightly.

“Fuck- you feel so good, cum for me princess,” Bakugo groaned.

As soon as you finished, he pulled out and finished on your stomach before laying down next to you. You were both sweaty and breathing heavily.

“What time is it?” You asked Bakugo while wipping off his cum from your stomach with a napkin,

He stood up and walked to his bookshelf where his phone had been propped up. It seemed a little odd but you didn’t question it.

“6:53.” He read to you.

“Oh shit, I forgot Todoroki said he was gonna come to my apartment today.”

You quickly got up and threw your clothes back on.

“Thank you for everything,” You said and gave Bakugo a smile but you could see he was a little hurt. You wish you could’ve stayed but you had no time to console him.

You practically ran out the door and made your way to your car. You got all your things together and started your car. Todoroki usually isn’t on time whenever he says he’s coming over. I should have time to shower and order something for us to eat before he gets there- you thought to yourself.

You made it into your apartment and immediately dialed up your favorite mexican spot nearby. You placed an order for you and Todoroki to share. As soon as you got off the phone you hopped into the shower.

You signed and leaned against the shower wall as the warm water hit your skin. Your legs were a bit weak from how rough Bakugo was but you knew you’d be fine by the next day. You heard your apartment door unlock and someone walk in. Todoroki had the spare key to your place so you already knew it was him and continued your shower with no second thought.

You rinsed off the suds on your body, you were planning on just let the water run for a bit longer before getting out. You heard the bathroom door open and you turn to see your boyfriend, you smile at him but he didn’t seem happy at all.

“Hey baby, im almost done. You wanna hop in with me?” You say sweetly.

He didn’t answer you, he just began to strip. After removing everything he opened the shower door and stepped in with you. You were about to turn to face him but in one swift motion he bent you over and rammed his dick in you.

“Ahh- ha, Shoto-“ You choke out.

“You think I don’t know what happened?” He questioned while slamming his dick in and out of you.

“What?” You stuttered, now getting nervous.

“That bitch Bakugo sent me a full video of him fucking you,” He uttered in an aggressive tone. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled your head back, which caused you to yelp in pain.

“How’d i end up with such a slut. You couldn’t have waited for me to fuck you, no, you had to go on and open your legs for him instead.”

“M’ sorry Shoto, i-“

“I dont wanna fuckin hear it.” He cut you off.

He kept thrusting in and out of you rough and fast. This was the most aggressive he’s ever been with you. It hurt but it honestly felt so good. Todoroki could feel how wet you were despite the water running over your bodies.

“Wow, and youre getting off to this?” He spat and tightened his grip on your waist so he could go faster.

You could already tell you were going to have bruises and little cuts on your waist from how he was sinking his fingers into it. He began to breathe heavier and his thrusts were more sloppy, it was obvious he was going to finish soon and so were you.

“You better not fucking cum,” He growled.

You bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your whines and moans. Todoroki immediately noticed and let go of your hair to grab your throat instead

"You wanted to be so loud for him but you wanna keep your mouth shut when it comes to me?” Todoroki asked.

You wanted to protest and save yourself from the situation but his grip was too tight on your neck for you to he able to say anything in response.

You felt your orgasm building up, you wanted to finish so bad. Your moans were getting louder and louder with each thrust. Just as you thought you were going to cum Todoroki pulled out. You turned your head back and saw Todoroki jerk himself off and finish on the shower floor.

Todoroki then reached over to turn the shower off. After, he stepped out the shower, you just watched in confusion.

“Are you coming or not slut,” He practically barked at you.

You quickly followed behind him, he led you to your bedroom.

“Get on the bed, in the same position he was fucking you in.” He ordered.

You did as you were told, you laid down on your bed and held your legs up but still kept them closed.

Todoroki laughed once he saw you, “What? You’re trying to act shy now?” He said as he grabbed your legs and forced them open. His hard hand went down and smacked you right on your raw pussy.

“Ah-“ You jumped.

Before he could smack it again you both heard the door bell.

“Thats the food,” You said slightly embarrassed.

“Stay put,” Todoroki spoke, he then reached into the drawer at your nightstand and pulled a pink remote vibrator out.

He brought the vibrator over to you and slid it into your aching pussy without a warning.

“Now get up and go get the food. You make any noise and ill walk right out the door,”

You nodded and stood up to go get your robe. You put it on and walked to go answer the door, right as you made it to the door you felt Todoroki turn the setting up on the vibrator. You bit your lip, unintentionally drawing blood but you didn’t care, you then opened the door.

“Order for Y/n?” The delivery guy asked.

You cleared your throat and tried to smile and nodded. The delivery guy gave you a weird look, he could tell something was up. Your face was completely flushed and you were slightly leaned over. You grabbed the food as quick as you could and closed the door right in his face, thank god you paid for the food over the phone already.

You dropped the food onto the table and just as you were going to make your way back to the bedroom you felt a knot in your stomach.

“Oh fuck-“ You moaned out and gripped your robe tightly.

“You better not finish, get your ass back in here.” Todoroki yelled from the room.

You were panting and softly whining as you made your way back to the room.

“Get back on the bed.”

You did as you were told and got right back into position.

Todoroki pulled the vibrator out of your pussy and replaced it with his dick. He threw your legs over his shoulders to make sure you could feel every inch of his dick go in and out of you.

“I can’t believe im even putting my dick in your slutty hole after what you did,” He growled while fucking your abused pussy.

You’d been edged about 2 times at this point, you’d been craving a sweet release. You were so close you’d do anything to finish and Todoroki could tell.

“You think you deserve to cum after what you did?” He asked but he didn’t slow his pace.

“No,” you answered truthfully, hoping it would garner you sympathy and he would let you finish.

“Why dont you apologize and beg, and maybe then ill let you cum,” He suggested.

“Please Shoto, m’ sorry for what I did. I just wanna cum, please let me cum?” You pleaded with tears in your eyes.

He looked down at you and chuckled at your desperation. You truly would say anything just to get to finish.

“If you wanna cum so bad then go ahead,” He said and sped up, making sure to go deeper with each thrust.

A couple more moans slipped past your lips before a pool of your juices formed right on his dick. He pulled out and finished on the same spot Bakugo had before, intentional of not you didn’t care. You were just glad your boyfriend was back.

#cray #⭐️#smut #fanfic #my hero academia #comfort #shoto todoroki #shouto todoroki #todoroki #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha bakugou #katsuki #bnha #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #mha

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melobin · 2 months ago

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“i love all 7 not just one” yet ur so dismissive abt a certain member which clearly isn’t loving all 7 goofy ass. no wonder ur friends with ninona 🤣 both y’all r ot6ers

me when i’m onto nothing the fact you can sit and assume you know how i genuinely feel about ot7 riize is crazy to me. you can continue to think what you want to because i can assure you both ninona and i do not gaf !! im far past the point of caring if people think i negatively of me over the situation with seunghan !! i know i love seunghan ! my friends know it too ! i do not gaf if random people on the internet think differently bc frankly why should i ? i run a smut blog girl im just here to talk about cock 99% of the time 😭

if i’m being completely honest here. i feel like people seem to struggle to grasp the concept that people handle things in their own ways. i’m a very sensitive and emotional person and over the years ive been trying to deal with that in a way where i don’t get hurt so easily. i’ve been dealing with severe anxiety for years i have chronic depression if i sat and thought about seunghan’s hiatus every day i would be completely miserable and worried and that’s not how i want to be i want to be okay i want to feel okay.

grief has never been something i ever get too emotional over it just doesn’t happen, of course it’s sad to not see him there but the way i handle things doesn’t mean i dislike him in anyway shape or form and i’m frankly quite tired of having to explain myself about this. at the end of the day, if seunghan returns it’ll be one of the best things to happen, it’ll make me incredibly happy, i don’t talk about my emotions often but if you want the truth there it is. if he, god forbid, ends up being removed from riize then it will hurt me and i will be upset. i’d rather spend his hiatus in a middle group of knowing there’s realistically a 50/50 chance of him returning and him not rather than sitting and getting my hopes up only to be hurt and upset after.

the way i deal with this hiatus is for my own benefit and my own sanity, i don’t want to be sad all the time, i just barely made it out of a depressive episode and i know if i sat and dwelled on him being on hiatus then i probably wouldn’t have made it out of it. the way i treat the other 6 members is the same way i treat seunghan, i feel the same way about them all, it’s just not as simple to show that when he’s not in gifs or videos or photos.

writing about him is not as easy because i haven’t seen him for months and as time has gone by the other 6 have become more visibly comfortable and free on camera and we never got to see that with him. i love writing for him, his porn plot fic is one of my favourite fics ive written and im always happy to write for him. i just tend to write more for sungchan and eunseok because those are the members i am more sexually attracted to, im a slut man idk what you want me to say. people rarely send asks about seunghan, they’re mainly about sungchan and anton and there’s nothing i can do about that. if people send asks about him, i answer them? if they don’t then i dont, i can’t answer something that isn’t there.

i don’t mean to post such a long rant but frankly i’m just tired of having to say the same thing over and over. no, i don’t care if you think badly of me over it, i don’t care for people who think they know how i feel about something and act as if their opinion is the be all end all. so thank you for sending this so i could freely express my feelings about this.

and DAWG leave ninona out of this as well !!! she expressed why she doesn’t write for him and i touched on my own feelings about writing for seunghan. i never once viewed her in a negative way, she’s one of the funniest people ive had the pleasure of befriending and no, she doesn’t hate seunghan either !

#✧ melody answers #✧ anon #it reminds me of the why don’t you answer asks about seugnhan asks #when no one sends them like 😭#idk what you want from me i don’t talk about him bc you people don’t send asks about him #90% of my posts are about 01z bc im basically an animal about them #the way i handle the seunghan hiatus situation is purely for my own emotional well being #having severe anxiety and sitting and worrying about it every day would not be healthy for me at all #i feel like

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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years ago

Text

HOLD ON

Summary: The aftermath of Harry finding you.

Pairings: Harry Styles x fem!Reader (cheating together) Main characters x original characters.

Word Count: 4.1kish

Warnings: Cheating (Harry and Reader together), mentions of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST PARTNER, mentions of blood, bruising, and cuts.

A/N: IM BACK!! I am so so sorry it’s take me over a month to post this part! I can’t even believe it’s been that long. I got into a bad writing funk after my last post and spend the last two weeks just reading and not even writing truthfully. But, thank you everyone for your patience. I hope you all enjoy. REMEMBER TO READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS!! Song inspo: “Hold On” by Chord Overstreet.

Um, I’ve also reached 1.2k of you lovely people following me. 🥹 ily all. Thank you!!

All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts!!! It fuels me!

Series Masterlist || Masterlist

Harry doesn’t think he’s ever felt more afraid.

He’s been afraid plenty of times in his life. More than he can count. He’s not ashamed to admit it.

He’s not ashamed to admit he’s felt fear before.

Off the top of his head, he was afraid for his judges response on the x factor stage, he was afraid for what was going to happen after they had lost, he was afraid when they went on hiatus, he was afraid when he went solo, he was afraid before he put out his first album, his second album, and most recently his third. He was afraid of many things.

But you were there for every single one.

And you calmed him down. You were his rock. His grounding statue when he most needed it.

Every single time he had been afraid in the past, you were his voice of reason, and it didn’t matter who was his partner at the time.

He knew you were going to be his wife one day.

He just knew it.

He was just too stupid to think you guys could ever be with anybody else. But you were happy with Asher and he was happy with Vivian.

Or he let himself believe he was happy with her.

Because you were happy.

But at the end of the day, when he laid in bed and held her. Smelling her expensive shampoo in her hair when they cuddled…

It always reminded him she wasn’t you.

But he toughed it out. Because you were happy. He loved seeing you happy. He could handle settling for second best if he still had you in his life and thankfully that was never an issue between you two.

Now, Harry feels like a complete fucking idiot.

Because if he had only made you his wife like he had wanted too, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

He wouldn’t be going over the speed limit in the London streets if he had. He wouldn’t be holding back his tears as he thinks of what you had just told him on the phone.

But who’s he kidding?

His eyes were full of tears, threatening to fall down his cheeks, swerving through cars, not caring if he got stopped right now, knowing he wouldn’t pull over, and his entire body was shaking.

His hands were gripping onto the steering wheel. So hard that it was almost painful, one hand was maneuvering the steering wheel, while his other hand was gripping onto his cross necklace on his chest. The same necklace that you had gifted him years ago.

You had told him you saw it at a jewelers shop one day and decided to get a matching pair. He’s worn it ever since.

His eyes dash to his cell phone that’s on the console, your name taunting him on the screen, and he keeps the call connected. Just in case you woke up.

Once Harry turned into your secluded street, his tires screeching at his fast movement, but he stepped on the gas pedal to go faster.

His heart was racing as he pulled into your stone driveway. He quickly parked his SUV, taking notice that only your car was in the driveway, and he felt his body fill with nerves as to what was going to await him inside.

With shaky hands and stumbling feet, he ran towards your front door. He instantly stilled at the front door, gulping down the lump in his throat as he reached for the handle, and pushed the door wide open. It was unlocked.

The house was earily quiet and it made his skin break out into goosebumps. Harry’s body was shaking in fear of seeing you, he quickened his pace, running down your long entrance hallway, and not knowing entirely where you were, he shouted your name.

Peering into the open rooms, trying to see if you were in the first opening of the living room, and he was getting anxious when he didn’t see you.

He ran down towards the second opening of the hallway which was your kitchen and instantly his feet skidded to a halt. His feet screeching against your marbled floor.

Harry gasped loudly at the scene in front of him, a wrenching surprising sob wrecked through his body as his eyes scanned the kitchen layout, and he felt pale.

It looked like a bloody crime scene here.

Bright red liquid splattered over the white marble floors and cabinets. He could see it all over on the countertops, against the wall, and on the kitchen stove. Glass was everywhere that his eyes could see.

And then he saw you.

Another loud uncontrollable sob wrecked through his body as he ran towards you, falling down to the floor next to your unconscious body, not caring about the glass breaking his skin, his hands immediately reaching for you, pulling you into his body, and he tried to shake you awake.

Rapid tears fall down his cheeks immediately, his entire body is shaking with his sobs, his vision is cloudy, and he pulls you into his lap. He wraps one of his arms around your body and uses his free hand to move your hair away from your face.

He keeps repeating sun and baby over and over again. Hoping you’d hear him somehow. Hoping you’d open your pretty eyes for him.

His eyes take in your bloody nose, busted lip, your favorite lavender sweater is coated with blood in different spots, and same as your apron. He notices your limp hands have glass in different places, your leggings are black but he can see different areas with small shards of glass on them. And your feet. Your poor blue fuzzy socks are drenched in red. He’s not sure if it’s wine or blood.

His eyes move back to your face and he stills when he sees the hand marks on your neck. The fresh ugly bruises that are showing up. He looks up into the air, releasing a shaky breath, gritting his teeth as tears flow down his face, and he curses underneath his breath.

Harry is physically shaking with anger and guilt. He’s so upset at what Asher did to you. He feels like he can kill him, but he shoves that feeling away and focuses on you.

He doesn’t care that he’s getting himself covered in wine and blood right now. His free hand has specs of your blood on it now, but he keeps wiping away the hair and blood from your face.

Repeating “baby” to your face and kissing your face to wake you up. The metallic taste on his tongue makes him whimper.

“Hold on, baby. Just hold on.”

His voice is shaky, weak, and desperate.

So fucking desperate.

He doesn’t know what to do. You’re not reacting to anything he does, but thankfully you’re breathing. He has no idea what Asher did to you, but whatever he did. He’s going to pay for what he did.

Harry notices your phone next to you. He takes a shaky breath in and wraps his arms around you to pick you up. He reaches for your phone as he lifts you, tucks your limp body into his arms, sniffs hard to try and hold in the rest of his tears, and hastily makes his way towards his SUV.

He manages to open his back door and gently sets you down on the seats. He kisses your forehead with shaky lips and whispers, “It’s going to be okay. I-I’m here, sun.”

He drives towards the nearest hospital and prays to god that he hasn’t been followed by paps.

The entire drive to the hospital is rapid with his eyes constantly moving to the rear view mirror to look at you. To make sure you’re still there. To make sure you’re breathing.

Harry doesn’t hesitate to park in the “no parking” zone at the emergency entrance, he immediately starts honking to try and catch someone’s attention from inside. He sees a security guard immediately come toward him and Harry knows he must look crazy.

He jumps out of his driver seat, reaching for the back door to pull it open.

“I need you to get me some help!” The security officer is trying to flag someone from the inside to come and help him.

The officer looks at him in confusion, “Are you hurt, sir?” The office raises his eyebrows at his appearance.

Harry shakes his head, quickly pulling you into him once more, he hitches you up in his arms, and starts walking towards the entrance.

“It’s for her,” he says as he continues to walk into the ER entrance and immediately he can feel all eyes on him.

He ignores the stares, yells at the officer to help him, and starts feeling anxious. And he follows the officer when he opens a back door that leads him to where he assumes all the nurses and doctors are.

He can see different people running around, helping patients, and it’s incredibly loud. Loud beeping noises and chatter fills his ears. His mouth feels dry and he feels sick.

He looks at you in his arms, a soft whimper escapes his lips, and the officer brings him towards a ground of huddles nurses that are chatting about something.

One of them is smiling at another nurse and when her blue eyes met Harry’s, she instantly stops, mouth drops, and Harry can see her lips whisper his name in shock.

But then she suddenly reacts and rushes towards him.

“Are you okay? What happened?” She asks, her hands immediately reaching out to touch you, and Harry’s reflex is to curl you into his arms. Away from her touch. He’s terrified to let anybody touch you, but he knows you need it.

“I…” Harry starts, throat raspy, and he holds eye contact with the nurse, “I need your utmost discretion,” he states in a plea, but tries to keep his voice steady.

Harry sees from the corner of his eyes more nurses rushing towards him and one of them is holding a stretcher.

A male nurse tries to reach for you as well, but the nurse in front of you- Harry quickly reads her name tag- Lily.

Lily holds her hand up to stop the male nurse and she then sets her hand on Harry’s forearm, giving him a squeeze, her eyes not leaving his, and she says, “I promise you. We will be discreet.”

Harry nods, tears welling up in his eyes, and his hands are gripping onto your skin.

“But… you need to put her down on the stretcher.. so we can help her. Okay? Can you do that, sir?“

Lily moves her body to angle the stretcher and Harry quickly nods. He walks towards the stretcher, he gently sets you down, and squeezes your hands in his quickly. His shaking fingers move the sticky hair out of your face as you fall limp into the stretcher. He steps back.

Harry stands there, frozen in his spot, and watches them rush you away to an empty room.

“I’ll take you to a private room where you can wait for the doctor. Or myself for an update, okay?”

Harry nods as he follows her down a hallway, he starts messing with the skin around his fingernails, and Lily opens the door to a private room.

“You can wait here. Somebody will come speak to you soon about what happened, okay? Do you need any medical attention yourself?” Her voice is steady and calm. It’s what Harry needs right now. Her eyes look him up and down for any injuries.

“I’m okay, maybe… maybe just a wet rag, please.” Harry says, dry tears on his cheeks making his face feel stiff, and he keeps eye contact with Lily.

“Okay,” she says. She’s standing by the door, gives him a small smile, and then reaches out for Harry’s arm. She squeezes him.

“It's going to be okay, Mr. Styles. We got her now.” Her eyes are sincere and Harry’s face crumbles in anguish.

“Thank you,” he croaks out, covering his face, and turning away from her view.

He hears the door shut behind him and the only thing he can hear in the room is his soft cries.

•••

Harry must have fallen asleep after he had gotten himself cleaned up because he almost jumps out of the chair he was slumped into when he feels someone touch his shoulder.

“Sir! I’m so sorry!” He hears someone exclaim above him. He adjusts himself into the chair, uncrossing his arms, and is confused about his surroundings for just a second before he sees your face in his mind.

He stands quickly, “How is she?” He quickly runs his hands over his eyes to wake himself up.

He recognizes the same nurse as earlier, Lily, and she gives him an easy smile.

“She’s okay right now. A slight brain bleed, but nothing major. Don’t panic. It’ll heal on its own, but we’re going to keep her overnight to monitor it. Thankfully no broken bones. She does have a couple fractured ribs, but…” she trails off, her eyes looking to the side, and she looks nervous.

“What’s going on?” His body fills with worry instantly.

“She woke up, Mr. Styles.”

Relief washes throughout his body and he silently says a thank you.

“Oh, thank god. That’s good… that’s good, right?” Eyebrows furr when Lily nods, but doesn’t follow Harry’s breath of happiness. For a split second, he feels happy that she's awake and okay. But then Lily is rolling her lips in and biting the bottom one.

“What’s going on?” Harry asks. His voice shakes. The anticipation of what she’s about to say fills him with dread once more.

“Mr. Styles, we asked her what happened and she doesn’t remember. She might have a concussion or she might be blocking out the memory because of the trauma. She simply might not want to remember. It’s a way trauma victims protect themselves in these types of scenarios. It’s not uncommon.”

“O-okay?”

Lily puts her hand on Harry’s shoulder as if to comfort him for what she’s about to say. Harry feels confused as the comforting touch. He fumbles with the skin around his fingers in anticipation.

“She states that her boyfriend would never have done this.”

“W-what? She— wait— she said that?” Harry feels even more confused. He wasn’t imagining the phone call. He distinctly remembers what you had said.

Lily nods as he continues, “S-she told me. She told me that he hit her. That he—-“ he stops himself from continuing. Gulping down the forming lump in his throat. He bites his tongue because he doesn’t need anybody knowing about his personal business.

Harry slightly looks up to keep his tears at bay, sniffling slightly, and his eyes start to burn. He looks back down at Lily.

“He found out about something… something she didn’t want him knowing and that’s when he did that to her. I-I swear.”

“Mr. Styles, I’m sorry. But… If the patient says that’s not what happened.. then we have to believe the patient.” She almost looks guilty.

“Even if she doesn’t remember it happening?” Harry asks in desperation, not believing what she’s saying.

Lily nods with a small frown on her lips.

“I can take you to see her, if you’d like.”

Harry immediately nods and follows her down to your room. Lily knocks when they stand in front of the room and when Harry walks in, his lips quiver and his heart feels heavy.

“Oh, baby.” He whimpers out as he takes in your appearance. He manages to grasp onto the door to ground himself from the way his knees buckle at the sight of you. They’ve cleaned you up, but all the bruising from your face and neck makes him wish it was him in the bed instead of you.

You're laying down against the hospital bed, covered in a white blanket, with your head tilted back, but it only showcased the ugly, raw, and red marks on your neck. It made Harry internally weep at the sight. You have a machine on your right side connected to your IV and Harry can only imagine its fluids. Or maybe pain medication. He doesn’t dwell on it too long.

Your arms are laying over the blankets and resting on your stomach. Your hands are delicately covered in white gauze, but only your palms. And he knows it’s because of all the tiny glass cuts you had.

When his eyes land in your face, he wishes he could erase this picture from his brain. He pleads to the gods above that this is the last time he will ever see you hurt. He doesn’t think he can survive seeing you like this again.

Your bottom lip has a big cut on it which is making your lip a little swollen. Your entire right cheek is bright red with undertones of purples and you have one big bruise forming on your left cheekbone. Your nose has a small splint on it, but he can see the swelling underneath and the bruising on the sides.

Harry doesn’t even want to think about what you went through.

It’s almost as if you felt his presence because you slowly tilt your head down and your eyes search the room. When you meet his gaze, your entire body relaxes with relief and his name falls out of your lips like butter.

Harry is immediately at your side, wanting to hold you and touch you, but he stops himself. He hesitates in front of you and your covered hand reaches for him. His hand immediately covers yours, warm with gauze but cold fingers, and he starts crying.

“I-I,” Harry tries to form words, but his voice is muffled because of his sobs. He falls into the chair next to you and covers his face with his arms on top of the bed.

Your hand is immediately intertwined with his curls and you're rubbing his scalp to try to calm him down.

“They told me you found me?” You question and he cries harder at your voice. It’s raspy and hoarse. You don’t sound like yourself, you sound like you’re in pain, and he knows you are. It makes him cry even harder.

Harry can only nod at your question. He lifts his head to look at you and you try to give him a small smile. He’s looking into your eyes, your beautiful eyes, and he sniffles.

He ghosts one of his hands over your face and you almost want to melt into it, but you don’t. Because you know how bad you look and how every single part of your body hurts right now.

Instead, you grab his hand in yours once again.

“I’m okay,” you whisper with tears in your own eyes as you watch his red eyes. His green eyes are bright against the red, his nose is red too, cheeks are flushed, lips bright pink, and he looks beautiful.

“Do you remember anything?” Harry asks between his sniffles.

You roll your lips inside your mouth for a second and bite down on your unaffected side, eyebrows furred down, and you shake your head.

“I… I don’t. I’m… I’m assuming someone broke in? Maybe someone tried to steal from me and did this?” Your voice sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself this is what happened. Instead of the reality that Harry knows about.

“Baby,” Harry whimpers out. “You called me… and told me Asher had found out about us.”

“Asher?” You question in a low tone, feeling confused once again.

“You… you said he hit you.” Harry gulps down the lump in his throat after he speaks those words and takes in your reaction.

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head. Frowning, you exclaim, “Hit me?! Asher would never, Harry.”

Suddenly, you’re pulling your hand out of his hold and Harry feels like you’re retracting from him.

“Baby, I wouldn’t lie—-“

“Stop it!” You cut him off, crossing your arms over your chest, ignoring the sharp pain that runs through your body as you touch your aching ribs.

His eyes dart to your stomach and back to you.

“Are you—“

“Stop.” You spat at him, feeling furious at him for even suggesting that Asher would do this to you. Asher would never do this. Never.

“Asher would never do this to me, Harry. Are you—- what are you— are you lying to me? Is this a joke? Is this some sick fucking joke? Maybe I did this to myself!! I’m fucking clumsy. I’m sure I just fell on my own. Maybe I dropped the wine bottle myself and tripped and hurt myself!” You cry out to him as fast tears start running down your cheeks. Your mouth speaks faster than your own brain. Spilling anything that would make more sense than what Harry is telling you.

“Baby. Baby. Baby.. what are you.. what are you saying? Baby, stop. He caused your head to bleed. He caused you a brain bleed, baby. You.. you didn’t do this to yourself. How could.. how could you have done this to yourself?” Harry cries as he stumbles over his words quickly at you.

“Asher didn’t do this to me,” you state confidently even though you feel confused about the whole thing. “Why would he do this to me, H?” More tears filling your eyes at Harry’s accusations.

Asher didn’t do this to you. He couldn’t have. Could he?

“He did this to you! He hit you!” His voice goes higher as his frustrations rise, his lips in a frown.

“You’re lying!! Stop lying to me. Why would Asher do this to me, Harry?! He loves me. And I know you love me. You’re my best fucking friend, but you’re crossing a line. He would never do this to me. You need to leave. You’re lying to me. I don’t want you here.”

“W-what?” Harry’s gaping at you, mouth dropped in shock, and a sob escapes his lips once more.

“Go. Now! I don’t want to look at you!” You turn away from him, sniffling, and wiping your tears away.

“You can’t be serious, Y/N. Listen to yourself,” he tries to plead with you as he tries to reach for your hand, but you turn your body to move. Ignoring the pain it causes you. You don’t look at him.

“Leave,” you demand once more. Ignoring his cries and his words.

“O-okay, baby. I’m going to leave. But… but… please. Please try to remember my love. Please,” he begs you.

You don’t say anything. You just stare out the window until you hear him get up and leave. You sit in silence for a couple minutes. Trying to think about everything he said. You wipe away your tears and reach for the call light to call for your nurse.

You press the red button and adjust yourself to relax against the mattress, trying to inhale a deep breath, and Lily comes into the room.

“Hi, love. Did you call? Need some help?”

“Yes, Lily. I did. Harry gave you my phone, right?”

“He did.”

“Okay,” you make eye contact with her. “Can you please call the person under the name of Asher? Can you let him know what’s happened and where I am? The code is 0509.”

A look of uncertainty flashes over Lily’s face, but she quickly controls her reaction. You don’t question it because she nods quickly right after.

“Of course, Mrs. Y/L/N.” She smiles at you, “I’ll be right back.”

Lily leaves the room and you close your eyes for a second.

You try to unclear your mind, trying to remember what happened, and flashes of what happened play out.

You see the wine bottle falling down onto the floor loudly.

You see yourself crawling into the corner and the feeling of true terror fills your body at the memory.

You can see yourself begging the person to stop, but you can’t see their face.

Your face crumbles in frustration at not being able to remember the one most important detail.

You sigh, opening your eyes, and you decide to wait for Asher to walk through the door.

Maybe he can help you remember. Maybe he’s spoken to the police and maybe they’ve already found the person who did this.

But there’s also a part of you wondering why he isn’t here right now. Wouldn’t he have found you after coming home from work? Maybe he had to work late.

You shake your head at the intrusive thoughts.

You try to relax once again, trying not to feel bad for kicking Harry out, but you know Asher would have never done this to you.

He would have never.

#harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x fem!reader #Harry styles x influencer!reader #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles au #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fan fic #illicitaffairsau #Harry styles imagine #Harry styles fic rec #Harry styles cheater #cheater!harry styles

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eulchu · 2 years ago

Text

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

#long post #rbs are appreciated 😭🫶

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safetycar-restart · 5 months ago

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Hi! Congrats on surviving exams and getting some sleep! Im so glad and impressed! May the rest and recovery be yours.

Some tired thoughts:

So much ducati drama! But happy thoughts. The moto boys have an unusually large break now, in the dom au are they spending all their time with their doms?

Is someone basically under for like a week? Who is having the hard impact scenes that are very impractical when racing? Who is being pampered and petted all the time? perhaps someone is having all the overstimulation? Is someone shibari artwork?

Cheers

🏍 anon

Oh my god 🏍 anon I have missed you so much and I have missed your Motogp thoughts so much. During my little unplanned hiatus I actually got even more into MotoGP so this is just... 10/10. For everyone else: if you send me Motogp thoughts they will get answered embarrassingly quickly.

So let's discuss a few riders with this long break in the D/S AU!

ENEA:

So I really like the idea that you first became Enea's dom last season and you kinda had a baptism by fire because of his injury in the first race of the season and so you had to support him throughout the recovery period. Because of this, you never really had a normal progression of a professional dom/sub relationship? Because you just immediately started practically living with him.

In other words, you raised a kitten in quarantine and now you can't leave him alone. All of this is to say that of course you're with Enea during the strangely long break.

However, I think maybe Enea surprises you with a trip to see your family? Like you think you'll be spending the break with Enea at his house helping him train and scening with him, but no. Enea knows how insanely lucky he is to have you and he wants to show that! So he plans to go with you back home and spend time with your friends and family and he is truly just the bestest boy ever.

(Also, of course Enea is so so scared when Ducati announce that they've signed Marc to be Pecco's teammate because he's so scared that you won't come with him wherever he moves. But obviously he need not worry, you're going with him. Maybe this even prompts you to officially collar him??)

MARC:

Marc is absolutely THRIVING this season. Not only does he have a good bike, but also he just has so much support?? He's got his brother as his teammate and his dad in his garage at all times and his dom and he's just so happy.

But I also think he's putting so much pressure on himself, because he feels like he should have gotten his first Ducati win by now and he's punishing himself for not doing that. He's still crashing and making mistakes and he beats himself up for it.

So I actually think you'd have to put your foot down during this break? Marc says he's happy and ready to train hard and focus on racing this break so that he can get his first Ducati win, but you actually put your foot down and tell him that no, no he's not going to do that.

You've been Marc's dom since he started at Honda, and you've collared him years ago. You know him. And he knows better than to try and argue when his dom orders him. You can see that if Marc keeps on pressuring himself like this and beating himself up for losing, he's gonna end up in the same bad headspace he was at Honda so you put your foot down. You tell him that you and him are going away. He can keep up his workout schedule, but no bikes and no meeting with Ducati personal or anything. Just Marc relaxing and floating in subspace.

He's a little upset when you first say this, throwing a little hissy fit and trying to disobey you. But after a week, he admits that you were right and he's already starting to feel better. It serves a reminder about just how much you know Marc and how you're the best dom he could ever have.

FABIO:

Fabio is definitely one who spends a week in subspace. In fact, fabio doesn't even try to plan for the break, the moments he finds out about it, he just immediately tells you. He doesn't even have to ask for you to plan the break, because he knows you will.

For the first week, it's just you and him in Andorra and when you tell him this he is just so happy. You scene with him the entire time and he's just this happy, giggly sub floating in subspace and being a good boy and being fucked hard every day.

But then after that week, you spend a day slowly getting Fabio to come out of subspace and he just SO happy. He feels so so good and he knows he still has two weeks with you and it's perfect. And then... then you tell him that actually you two are spending the next week with his family?

Which naturally prompts fabio to just burst into tears because he can't believe how lucky he is and he's so excited to spend a week with his family and his dom.

Only after that week is fabio allowed to do some proper racing and working with Yamaha and of course fabio is just in the best headspace possible for that work.

JORGE:

So as we all know, Jorge has just confirmed his new contract with Aprillia next season and obviously that wasn't an easy decision. For a long time leading up to that decision, he was just so stressed and so worried and so confused.

You support him of course, making sure he's entering subspace regularly and not letting him fall into spirals and whatnot.

But now that it's all confirmed and he has this long break, it's the perfect time to just relax and calm down and recover. It's just the two of you and you do everything to make sure that Jorge feels the least amount of pressure.

He can be as needy as he wants and trust you to look after him.

#d/s au #sub!fabio #sub!marc #sub!jorge #sub!enea #eb #fq #mm #jm #gn!reader #🏍

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lifeonmarz-blog · 2 years ago

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12th House Transit, anyone?

I've been going through 12th house transits for over a year now and im spiritually tired but also feeling like I'm almost finished with the marathon. The 6th and 12th house have been giving me the ick. My career path has been stressing me. I left one field a while ago and have yet to find my footing somewhere else. The jobs i've had haven't worked out or haven't been what i expected. Its been so disappointing. My love life has been a confusing mess of delusion and hurt. Ive done things i never thought i would've. I ended a situationship thats been going on for 2 years. Ive met new people that lowkey i wish i hadn't. Its been interesting... My creativity has been lacking, feeling uninspired quite often and also unattractive. Which is kinda new for me ima aries being conceded is literally just in my dna. I havent had a interest in posting on social media like that. I deleted my socials a multiple times during this year. A month hiatus was the longest stretch. This is the first time in my life ive actually been serious about getting a therapist. My mental health has been a rollercoaster. Lonely has also been a theme. Ive always been introverted my sun is Natally in the 12th but this is a different kind of lonely. Ive resisted meditation so much which makes zero sense. Just sulking in the sorrow but there's been many times where i felt like i needed faith and hope so i had to stop running from myself. I dont think people talk about 12th house transits enough. Its very similar to the 8th but the 8th is like getting your finger chopped off and the 12th is like getting a flesh eating bacteria that slowing claims your finger. Anyways, its been unpleasant but mars goes direct soon and my planets enter the 1st house shortly after. I'll be glad to be working with less serious energies. I've learned a lot about who I thought I was and my mental has shifted a lot too. Letting go of thought patterns that have kept me in a mental prison. Lowkey I could've ended up in a actual prison during this transit. It been like that... Meditation is not optional with 12th house transits. Trust me, just do it.

Luv of Marz

#astrology #12th house #astrology101 #astrologyfacts #8th house #astrologychart #astrologyobservations #astrologyzone #1sthouse #astrologylover #astro observations #astrology transits

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winwintea · 12 days ago

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can i be a hater for once.. im so tired weishennies keep saying dream friendship is fake wayv is real family.

you will never see these kind of moments from any dream member, hendery openly said in unbelelieable they are only close infront of cameras, all dream members get renjun back while best leader of the universe were ignoring whole ww hate train and saying his fans to ten seperated the cats from him on bubble (make kuntenners attack ten). like everything about wayv from last 2 years is just fake and fanservice. i used to love them so much i dont remember last time i enjyed their content. idc what they are doing or what they are releasing but keep seeing their fans bitching about dream friendship pissing me off so bad.

https://x.com/mabelMM07/status/1851241384189309221

you're kinda valid for this take lol anon

dream grew up together and they're all very close in ages. they have gone through so much hardships together, lost mark, gained mark, and really just suffered a lot to get where they are today. wayv debuted as adults, and although the age gap is quite close to dream it's still larger and obvious when you point out how the group is technically both millenials and gen z, two different generations. 127 is also this problem, but i don't see the group trying to push the family agenda that often. plus xj, yy, and dery debuted in nct way later than ten, lucas, ww, and kun did so there is often a divide on closeness there.

the reason wayv is my ult group is not bc of the group dynamics at all. i stanned the group for winwin (obviously) but i also appreciated wayv's talent and discography. I believe that all members of wayv were seriously talented and underappreciated as a group so i loved them a lot.

now i'm also slowly falling out of love with the group because ww isn't there anymore, the music has been kinda shit since he was on hiatus, and the fanservice things have been so weird, especially coming from a group were i only had one bias and pretty much no wreckers.

i'm attracted to the unique personalities of dream, the strong dynamic and friendship the group has. sure they're talented, but dream truly feels like they love and appreciate each other. that's something that's always stood out to me about dream.

idk where people came up with the idea that wayv bond is stronger than dream, but i'm pretty sure wayv bond was lost after lucas scandal happened. being in the basement seriously tore wayv apart and i'm sure that the members themselves felt like this was the end for wayv bc that was always the worry of fans too. throughout this time friendships were kinda just put on hold. you can see the genuine friendship in videos from pre lucas scandal to now. a scandal can really do it to a group.

hendery always has this idgaf attitude lol like. he seems like a crazy chaotic person that everyone gets along with like johnny, but unlike johnny i don't think the bond is truly there. he's just there for the ride. which i gotta respect.

also there was never a wayv ship i practically liked. dream and 127 i loved some dynamics. biggest dynamic i liked in wayv? wayv members with other group members lol. i like renjun-yangyang's friendship, i like ten-johnny's friendship, i like winwin-jaehyun's friendship. it's always wayv member with another subgroup member. never wayv member with wayv member. although maybe i like winwin ten. or maybe i just like any ww pairing except for yuwin and taeil and winwin (even before jaeil i thought this was so uncomfortable to watch.)

anyways yeah i totally agree with you 😭

#❓: asks #anon #wayv

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the-francakes · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @schmem14 - sorry this took me so long!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28: 27 finished and 1 WIP

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

350,018

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter. sometimes si consider others but ideas never hit me like they do for hp

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Five Times Draco Malfoy Accidentally Apparated into Hermione Granger's Bed… And the One Time He Meant To (Dramione) - every time draco masturbates, he ends up in hermiones bed 2. An Overly Considerate Friend (Jegulus) - james confronts regulus about spying on their quidditch practices and ends up liplocked instead 3. Both (Hermione/Fred/George) - the hermione and the twins fuck or die DVP PWP 4. I WANNA SEE SOME ARSE (nottpott) - theo is on an island vaction and somehow sharing a bed with harry who has an amazing arse 5. The (Third) Worst Year (drarry) - draco has one year to kiss his true love, harry potter, or turn into a dragon... so he picks dragon like a dumb ass

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes.I do my best to because i think the converation is important and im grateful so i want readers to know. i havent lately because i get overwhelemed and im on a hiatus but yeah i try to

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

You & Lily - regulus is so tired of being used by james, he gets his mark and only tells james after they have sex to really fuck james up. then years later he returns to james to apologize by promising to save harry and its open ended but like... also cannon compliant

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

all of them are happy endings tbh... while i like writing angst, i dont like writing unhappy endings or dead dove sort of things. so pretty much any of my fics will leave you happy

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah not really. i think its cause im in happy rare pairs world. every now and then i get the off the wall comment like 'telling somone to come is SO overdone' and im like cool bye.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

all the smut. mostly vanilla-ish? i like to change up positions or what the sexual act is, but i dont cross into anything kink mostly cause i just write what i know/like/is comfortable.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nope. probably never will either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that i know of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! The Quidditch Pitch Incident is in Russian Five Times Draco Malfoy Accidentally Apparated into Hermione Granger's Bed is in Chinese

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No! But im open to it with the right person

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I dont really have one. It always changes for me. I like trying a new ship so i think the majority of my fics are different ships.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

honestly, Im starting to think Echoes wont be finished. i havent had the want to write it all year and i dont think the first parts are really my best writing. so part of me might even delete and rewrite it if i start getting the vibes to pursue it again.

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization. i love fanfic because i can use the base of what we know and grow from the tiny details to make fully developed ones. its hard for me to read some fics that the characterization doesnt match what i know from the books without explanation. like its hard for me to see hermione as a sugar baby for money and loves being doted on because i dontt hink that matches her from the books but like if you can explain she gets her strength and independence from manipulating men then im like yes okay im on board.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

im awful with commas. everyone else loves them but i forget them so much grammarly is always yelling at me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nah. i've been living in italy for a month now and the only words i know are ciao and allora LOL - if i want it i ask someone to translate for me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter and twilight at the same time back in 2004 ish

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I cant pick just one so here are my faves that are not my most popular because of the ships but probably some of my best writing and get really good comments. Locals Only (draco/blaise/theo) A Saving People Problem (draco/james potter snr) The Quidditch Pitch Incident (ginny/blaise) A Good Night for Whimsy and Love (ron/luna) tis the damn season (Pansy's version) (pansy/ron) Maid of Honor for a Day, Best Friend for Life (susan/blaise)

tagging whoever sees this and also @crazybutgood @vukovich @holygnocchi @phdmama @sailtomarina

#Dramione #Jegulus #hp fanfiction #harry potter #draco malfoy

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hellbubu · 5 months ago

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Ugh, its awful. I need to mask SO hard whenever I'm home. I explained to mom about my social battery and now she uses that expression alllll the timeee....but she doesn't seem to realize I'm including *her* too, in the 'people that tire me out' category ¬¬ She gets mad I go to bed late, but it's the only time of peace and quiet where i can do stuff without noise and interruptions from others! Usually when im alone im a depressed useless lump half of the day, but the need to mask with a smile and answer and interact and be *cute* is just so engraved in me i do it automatically and it never ends *cries* Sorry for the rant lol (also, im too tired to write correctly so sorry for that)

Derrick forcing the others to play bad and Red house losing AND redmond not noticing would be hilariousssss

Oh, man, imagine a teen movie with this plot xDDD I'd watch the hell outta that!

Ikr!! Like, WHO kills someone to supossedly 'solve a problem' and immediately goes 'and bringing them back will solve everything! Like, why ?? If getting rid of him was the solution, why bring him/them back...??? Ugh, teenage boys. La edad del pavo, indeed.

Gaaahhh, imagine Druitt being a friend of the LM. *shivers* I mean, it makes sense? All these pervs seem to run in the same circles...(although LM has the 'easiest' option of taking what he wants from helpless children 24/7 9 months of the year, and the security of them not being brave enough to tell anyone or being able to scape. Imagine the nightmare of having caught the eye of that creep, blergh.)

Fr, fr, we se Seb, LM, UT and....one more teacher? For such a 'prestigious' institution, the education sure seems lacking (this is why they send the royal brats off to Eton lmao)

Right, right???? They should have totally manage to escape! And we weren't shown any more violence or blood or ANYTHING. So what. happened. (Also, I imagined Violet with the knifes cause there's no way he'd be able to take on two guys lol. Poisoned darts would work as well, Dementia!)

asjdhakjafhsdkjfshd, I've seen all kind of theories! Still, all I know is that UT is obssessed with Phantomhives but somehow doesn't care about killing Ciel OR about who slaughtered them. (Alsoooooo....if UT was able to save r!ciel's body before seb burned the body...does this mean he was there??? inside the house where they were torturing the boys??? for how long????? why didnt he save them????)

Poor Joanne. Truly, a hellish year. *tu-tush!* Also, he was probably so relieved about the canoe incident since people would talk more about that than him...only to end up pissing himself in front of the others. ALSO! Was he even made prefect?? Like, i saw a post about him being too young and being passed over, which would MAJORLY suck, since the other prefects are the only people he can talk about that night with. But the blurry red house prefect we see is blonde so idk. (I bet you he joined the boyband purely out of pettiness to fuck the P4 over. Im sure the others -except Soma, poor clueless baby- joined for the same reasons lol)

Awww, that's so cute! And a totally worthy endeveour for a 2nd son to invest in! FU r!ciel (i wanna like you, bb, but the fandom hasnt given me much hopes about you and i still have to read the manga)

SPEAKING of that. Yana went on hiatus!!!! I'm in despair.

Victoria being mad jealous of Claudia over UT would be hilarious. Basic in a 'powerful-women-can-only-be-enemies' kinda way; but hialrious.

I DO feel that if she did order it would have made more sense to 'save' the twins (or at least one) and earn their devotion? Give them a false enemy to burn and keep using them as her loyal dogs. But if she gave the order to erradicate the family completely someone fucked up MAJORLY. I bet heads rolled xD

A shift in power would make sense...but how? An Earl is a looong way from the crown (and with her many children and even grandkids!?). Maybe she started something supernatural over Albert's death? And Vincent found out? Questions, questions.

Beso <3

Constant social interactions are the worst especially when you can't be yourself. Having to act like you're someone else is tiring and you should really get some rest. Like not just sleep or be alone for a bit, but take some days to actually properly recharge, if possible.

He wouldn't force them to play badly during the tournament, only during practice... or at least I hope so. The Red House getting beaten by the Blue House because of Derrick does sound fun tho.

I think that the previous P4 took all the brain cells when they left. Otherwise, why would they 1. think that killing a bunch of boys was a good solution and 2. think that bringing the boys that they killed back to life was a good idea?

Druitt and the LM are both pedos, but I think Druitt would think he's better than LM because he (Druitt) has a title, is a doctor, and gets away with buying and selling kids. LM has to watch in the shadows as boys are beaten, while Druitt goes and kidnaps kids to sell. Druitt thinks LM is in a league waaaayy lower than him. He doesn't seem to even realize LM can do as much as he does (well, maybe not the selling part) and not even be found out. He (LM) brings it up once but Druitt is too busy salivating over a boy (Ciel in a cheap wig and different clothes) to pay attention.

I like to think that the bullies have never been held at knifepoint, so when Violet pulls out one, singular, butter knife they freak out and think Violet will manage to kill them. Meanwhile, Violet is just stabbing air and swinging his knife around while praying that they'll back off so Greenhill can kill them.

Maybe he got there just after Sebastian was summoned or something. He thought "holy shit, if he (Sebastian) knows I'm here, he might just eat the other twin. I need to keep quiet so I can still the other's body. I'll bring him back to life so they can play happy family later."

I think I might like R!Ciel if I read the manga. Alas, I can't. But O!Ciel would always be my fave twin. He's always been so kind. <3

I heard she's working on the ending. I do think it might take a few years for it to end tho. I feel like there's still too many questions for it to end soon. I'm not a manga reader, but even I know that there's still quite a bit left until they start to unravel the Phantomhive murders. Like, the current arc might lead to the final one, but from what I understand SebaCiel have yet to meet UT&R!Ciel again and are on their honeymoon... so quite a while still

Maybe Claudia fucked her over and Vincent was about to too, so she'd rather just get rid of them all. We know she doesn't trust O!Ciel because she had the Charles follow him during the Circus Arc. So it might not be too far-fetched to think that many of the previous Guard Dogs have turned against the crown at one point or another and she might've wanted to start over with a cleaner slate.

I mean, maybe Vincent just saw something he really didn't like and was willing to fuck England over. Let drugs freely on the streets and sell secrets regarding England. But I could be wrong. He does have this dude called Chlaus as an informant and this guy travels a lot. So, if Vincent were to try to fuck shit up and then make a run for it with the help of Chlaus but the Queen finds out...

Besitos :* :*

#breyito #ask response #black butler #kuroshitsuji #sebaciel #for containment #long post #proship friendly

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