#im so spoiled oh my god TOT TOT

[glowy-stripes]

I HAVE JUST EXPERIENCED THE MOST LOVING AFTERCARE KNOWN TO MAN

We cuddled for a long time after and he kept me held in his chest so comfortably that I nearly fell right to sleep

It was around lunchtime, so he told me to stay in bed while he got stuff ready in the kitchen to eat-

THIS MAN COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE HOT CHOCOLATE AND LUNCH MENU????

He came back with my food and his own, as well as probably the best hot chocolate I've ever had in my life and we both sat together on the floor with a blanket wrapped around us watching the sweetest show :]]]

AND AFTERWARDS???? HE GIVES ME A DESERT MENU😭😭😭😭 AAAAAA

And all of this after lasting literally less than 5 seconds of him inside me😭😭😭

[littlemisscantloveyouback]

August Walker spanking reader for following him on a mission?

And/Or

Henry!Holmes caning reader after acting like a brat in public?

YES YES YES

Stay put.

⚠️: spanking, anger kink [idk], fem!reader x August walker, august yelling at reader, 2nd person pov.

He told you not to go on the mission, but you couldn't help yourself when he found out he was so mad he yelled at you in front of the whole team when you got back to headquarters. You just couldn't take it anymore. You raised your hand and slapped him across the face.

Everyone opened their mouths and shock.

Oh my god did i just slap him?

You thought he looked you in the eye the silence so loud you could hear the birds outside, he dragged you away to his office, he sat you in his chair as he stood over you.

"Whar the fuck why would you embarrass me like that in front of everyone they already think im the little girl of the group, god I fucking hate yo-" he cut you off with his hand over your mouth.

"You're going to go home for the rest of the day, and I swear to God if I see you here, I'm going to punish you harder." After that, he picked you up, gave you his car keys, and put you outside his office. The team looked at you as you stomped out headquarters

Later that day....

You couldn't help but wonder what he meant by 'punish you harder.'' he's never hit you, and he's never been the BDSM type. You continued wondering until you got to your bed and decided to binge and tot in bed until he came home.

After watching almost every boring show on Netflix, you hear the keys jingling in the door.

"Where are you?!" You heard from downstairs

He walked in suddenly, looming over you, his broad shoulders casting a shadow as he crossed his arms. His brows furrowed, and his jaw tightened as he glared down at you.

“You think this is a joke, don’t you?” he said, his voice deceptively calm—too calm. “Disobeying orders, slapping me in front of everyone—everyone—and then stomping out like a spoiled child.”

You blinked up at him, feigning innocence, though you could feel the heat radiating off him. “I said I was sorry,” you drawled, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “And for the record, I wouldn’t have slapped you if you weren’t such a jerk.”

His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” You tilted your chin up, challenging him. “You yelled at me in front of the whole team like I’m some rookie. Like I’m not capable of handling myself out there.”

“That’s because you’re not,” he shot back, his voice rising. He took a step closer, forcing you to lean back slightly. “You’re reckless, impulsive, and you don’t listen. You could’ve been killed.”

“Well, I wasn’t,” you retorted, crossing your arms defiantly.

He let out a sharp breath, pacing the room as if trying to keep himself in check. “You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “You never take anything seriously. I swear you do this just to get under my skin.”

You bit back a smirk, even as you pushed further. “Maybe I do.”

That stopped him. He froze mid-step, turning to face you with an incredulous look. “What did you just say?”

“Maybe I like making you mad,” you said, tilting your head with a bratty grin. “You’re kind of cute when you’re angry.”

His eyes darkened, and in two steps, he was in front of you again, towering over you as you sat on the edge of the bed. “You think this is funny?” he said, his voice low and dangerous.

You shrugged, biting your lip to hide the smile threatening to creep across your face. “A little.”

“God, you are unbelievable.” He leaned down, his hands braced on either side of you, effectively caging you in. “You think this is a game? That pushing me like this won’t have consequences?”

You met his gaze, unflinching, your heart racing but refusing to back down. “What are you going to do about it?” you taunted, your voice soft but laced with challenge.

His eyes locked onto yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved. The tension between you crackled like a live wire, thick and suffocating. His expression was a mix of frustration and something else—something darker, more intense.

“You don’t want to find out,” he growled.

“Maybe I do,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

He stared at you for a long moment, his breathing heavy, his control visibly slipping. “You really want to test me right now?”

You didn’t answer, just gave him that infuriating little smirk that you knew drove him crazy.

Suddenly, he grabbed your chin, tilting your face up to meet his. “You don’t know when to quit, do you?”

“Nope,” you replied, your voice airy as you stared up at him through your lashes.

His thumb brushed over your jaw, his grip firm but not harsh. “You think you can just push me until I snap, and I’ll let you get away with it?”

“Maybe…”

He let out a low, humorless laugh, shaking his head as his face hovered just inches from yours. “You’re playing with fire, sweetheart.”

“Good,” you shot back, leaning in just a little. “Maybe I like the heat.”

The room was silent except for the sound of your shallow breathing, his gaze burning into yours. You could feel the restraint in him, the effort it took for him not to completely lose it. He didn’t move, didn’t say a word—he just watched you, as if waiting to see how far you’d go.

"What did you mean when you said you were going to punish me?" He looked back down at you and got to eye level with you

His grip tightened on your wrist as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your ear. "You know exactly what I meant," he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "You've been testing me, pushing my buttons, and now you're going to learn what happens when you don't listen."

Before you could protest, he yanked you over his lap, your body landing awkwardly across his thighs. You squirmed, but his hold on you was unyielding. "Stop moving," he snapped, his tone leaving no room for argument. "You need to learn your place."

The first slap landed hard against your ass, the sharp sting radiating through your body. You gasped, your hands instinctively reaching back to protect yourself, but he caught your wrists and pinned them to the small of your back. "No," he said, his voice firm. "You don't get to stop this."

Another slap followed, and then another, each one landing with precision. The pain was intense, but beneath it, an unfamiliar heat began to build, pooling low in your stomach. You bit your lip to stifle a moan, but he noticed.

"Ah, so you like that, do you?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, we're not done yet."

He released your wrists and slid his hand down the back of your pants, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin of your ass. You shivered, your body betraying you despite your protests. "Please," you whispered, your voice trembling. "I'll listen, I promise."

"Too late for that," he said, his fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your underwear. He traced a slow, deliberate path down the crease of your ass, his touch both gentle and invasive. "You need to learn to obey, and I'm going to make sure you remember this lesson."

His fingers found their target, sliding into you with a practiced ease. You gasped, your body arching involuntarily against his hand. "That's it," he murmured, his voice dark and commanding. "Take it. But don't you dare come."

The pressure inside you built rapidly, your body begging for release, but he kept his fingers moving with relentless precision, never letting you reach that final peak. "No," he said, his voice a harsh command as you felt yourself teetering on the edge. "Not yet."

You whimpered, your body trembling as the tension coiled tighter and tighter. "Please," you begged, your voice breaking. "I can't—"

"You can," he said, his voice cold and unyielding. "And you will. Because you don't get to decide when this ends. That's my job."

His fingers continued their relentless rhythm, driving you closer and closer to the edge, but always just out of reach. The frustration and desire warred within you, leaving you breathless and desperate. "You're going to learn," he said, his voice a low growl. "And you're going to remember."

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Did you like it because I loved writing this <3333

[journalsouppe]

Professor Layton and the Spectre’s Call!! I actually discovered ordering the game from the UK with shipping was actually cheaper than ordering the American version of the game, there were no major differences that I could tell as they still had the original English voice actors.

I enjoyed this game!! Not my top favorite installment but I still had a great time and loved the new characters. The puzzles were well designed and had nice scaled difficulty and the mini games were really neat too. The Eternal Diva references were so blatant lmfao but I’m excited for Miracle Mask! I was also super exhausted when writing the summary so sorry there’s so many errors and I use the word fun a million times ToT

The Descole and Tea sticker are from JordyDrawsMerch! All other stickers are from Daiso. Writing typed below!

Rating: 8.3

Played: Sp 2024

Port: DS on 3DS

Favorite? Y

Replayable? Y

Recommend? Y

Series: Professor Layton

Comments

Emmy and BABY LUKE!!

OH THANK GOD IT’S CHRISTOPHER ROBIN MILLER

Ngl im so excited to watch the anime, I love the animation sm

Oh Layton is not taking Claire’s death well at all

I love how animated the background now is!!

Beautiful music as always

Does Clark have the same VA as Dmitri lol

THE WORLD WILL END? Damn Luke

The specter looks like one of those little kingdom hearts guys

Luke’s been a LaytonMobile hater since day one lmao

Luke is especially funny in this game

Layton taking Luke to the black market is so wild

THE PUPPET PLAY IS ADORABLE

I’m going to fight aunt taffy

Ooo we get to play as Emmy

Holy shit Emmy

GIRL FROG

Emmy asking if Layton always pokes lamps he sees is making me think he physically touches everything the player taps

The convo with the meowing man???

CHELMEY AND BARTON

Based anti-cop npc

THE DYNAMITE WORKS LMAO

Is Hershel gonna get a cask of amantillado’d T^T

The canals are so pretty i like the design of misthallery

Oh i do not like the police chief

I LOVE YOU EMMYYY

Grosky is very funny

Omg the cliff death police cover up reminds me of killer frequency which i just watched a playthrough of

FUCK JAKES

Where’s phoenix when you need him

JAIL BREAK JAIL BREAK!!!

I love descole’s voice

YAAA LADDER VS STEP LADDER

NESSIE???

The story book stories and animations are so CUTE!!

I wonder if Naiya was added to the game to hit at the Eternal Diva

This kinda reminds me of a pokemon movie but I don’t remember which one it was

^^ it was pokemon heroes when latias and latios were caught ^^;

AN OCARINA!!!

Creepy fucking factory music ToT

Oh dear. I seem to have stepped on a hexagonal spanner

Descole always serving massive cunt

Woah the golden garden is beautiful

Ohh so that’s why Luke was fork life certified in plvspw

ZAMN T^T

THE WAY THE SPRITES WALK KILLS ME LOL

I really like these little episodes from others POVS! ^_^

Summary

This was such a fun origin story for Luke and Layton. Very much a classic Layton game with world ending machinery and gorgeous environment design. I really liked both Emmy and Descole, there’s a more serious undertone than with Don Paolo as the main villain (even though I do love Don Paolo). Emmy is amazing!! I was afraid she would be sidelined like Flora was but I’m glad to she stands her ground and does what she wants to do. I alos like how we got to go on our own adventure as her to London, she’s a character that doesn’t need to rely on Hershel to solve everything. Meeting Luke was great, loved his blank stare. It was fun seeing his origins and how Clark and Hershel knew each other. I’m curious how the prequels will play into the New World of Steam, especially now that Luke’s family have stories and sprites (unlike in the original trilogy). Loved the ACAB story, v nice to play while I’m still so mad at what’s happening to university students currently. Descole was so fun, I am obsessed with his outfit and personality. Unfortunately I was spoiled on who he is but I’m very excited to learn more. I think similar to Ace Attorney, the fourth installment is that last game in the classic 2D style, which is sad but PLvsPW makes me very hopeful about 3D Layton. The overall story was fun, I really liked the sub plot about the Ravens - that was really fun (i was so tired writing this omfg). I wish we got a little more backstory on the rich guy who died, I feel like there’s more to the story. OO I loved the little episodes, especially the one about Chelmey. They added a lot of fun context and gave more life to the NPCs. Such a fun and classic Layton game, I can’t wait to play Miracle Mask! (And read the light novels). This wasn’t my favorite Layton game but I still really loved it and had a great time and loved the puzzles — that’s all I want from PL!

[numbur1goobah]

BRAVE POLICE J-DECKER SPOILERS!!!!!!

(You have been warned for thosw of you who plan to watch it)

BRO I NEED TO RANT RN.. OKAY SOOOOO-

I'm watching BPJD (Brave Police J-Decker)

AND OMFG....... EPISODE 11.... ABSOLUTE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER??!!1?1!1?1!1 WTF

Dude- the show was all butterflies and biscuits-

AND FUCKING ROBOGORE???? OUT OF NO WHERE??!1?1!1??1!1?1!1

BRUH- and just when I'm beginning to choose my favorite character that I can relate to the most.. (Kagero) They meet their demise right away- That's just my luck.. almost all my favorite characters in a lot of my fandoms I'm in die- I'm totally emotionally okay right now, totally not crying real tears right now 👍

100% will draw this scene.. and watch the rest of the episode after a small emotional breakdown :D

Also If he isn't actually fucking dead, and I'm just over reacting for not watching anything fully before I rant I'm going to scream-

Why didn't anyone tell me that this was going to become darker?????? I'm going to die emotionally- Oh my god..

Also, I hope you don't mind me ranting.. I rant A LOT when it comes to shows

ALSO DONT SPOIL ME IM ONLY ON THE START OF EPISODE 11 AT THE MOMENT I SWEAR TO GOD ToT

But other than that I like the show and I'm actually glad that there was robogore in this, because there aren't many shows in Transformers where there is robogore, so this actually tickled the dark side of me.. lol

[kazoohaa]

Hello! I saw you are writing for tot and idk if u are still accepting requests if you do can u do please a headcanon or whatever u want about tot men having a s/o who is a hikikomori(someone who never leaves home and just watch play video games and stuff) always trying their best to stay at home and avoid getting outside at any cost to the point they work online XD if you are not accepting requests please ignore and and sorry ╥﹏╥

𝐇𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈 𝐒/𝐎. tears of themis

— notes. this just ended up becoming mostly about what kind of games theyd like to play with you im sorry 😭

— details. artem wing, marius von hagen, vyn richter, luke pearce x gn!reader (separate). fluff.

LIBRA ;

he really doesn't mind that much, as long as you're still keeping getting your work done while keeping yourself healthy and getting a good amount of sleep in between!

well, he isn't really one to talk for the 'sleep' part, but...

yeah.

artem makes you food every day, and it is absolute heaven

his cooking is literally the best. it's so perfectly-made, to the last little detail, and it has the taste of home in it.

he makes sure that he makes different dishes every time, so that you won't get tired of having the same kind of thing over and over again. though he wouldn't mind if you wanted him to cook the same thing a few times because you like it!

he also keeps watch on how healthy each dish he makes is, he can't have the both of you eating primarily unhealthy things! the things he cooks will have a nice healthy balance.

helps you organise a daily schedule, so that you have enough time to do normal daily activities, get your work done, as well as have time to check in on all of your games. you can definitely trust artem with this one, he'll get you a good schedule so everything you need to do fits.

doesn't really understand whatever's happening in your games and doesn't know the controls at all, so he'll prefer to watch you play instead, even though he has little to no idea about what's happening.

he doesn't seem like the type, but you should introduce him to games like animal jam. he'll feel really childish and embarrassed because he actually somewhat enjoys it. it's absolutely hilarious, though. he's also like, the champion of playing checkers on animal jam. poor twelvies getting absolutely destroyed by a senior attorney on a kids game.

KING ;

will buy you the latest gaming consoles and any new games you want

oh? a new game came out and your eyes lingered on the advertisement for a few seconds longer than usual? consider the game yours!

he will absolutely spoil you

dude he might even buy the whole-ass company which makes the games

watch out, nintendo/playstation, marius von hagen is coming for you /j

it would be really nice if the two of you could go out someplace like an arcade or an amusement park together, but if you want to stay inside, that's fine! he can keep you to himself then >:)

will occasionally get jealous of how you give lots of attention to your games!! pay attention to him too, please, [name]-saaan! you can't just leave him alone like thisss! :(

plays some games with you, too. he usually likes the battle ones. the ones that take longer time or lots of effort like strategy games don't interest him that much, but if you want to play it with him, he isn't complaining.

claims he's the best at mario cart and then will sob when you absolutely destroy him /hj

oh my god, play fireboy and watergirl with him

the nostalgia

the two of you will rage when you don't get the achievement for completing the level within the time minute. this game is so unfair! do they expect you to finish the level in 30 seconds or less?! that's impossible >:(

ADJUDICATOR ;

like artem, vyn also helps you properly sort your time so that you're also getting exercise and staying healthy

and hey he's also your therapist for free

isn't the type of person to be interested in video games, but likes it when he's listening to you ramble about your favourite games, the features, the characters, everything.

the thing that interests him the most out of your games is the lore behind some of them. some can actually get really interesting. do explain the complicated lore to him, he won't care if the two of you will have to sit there for hours listening to your long-winded explanation about the history of the game's world.

he's pretty much the opposite of marius; he likes strategy games a lot (obviously, it's vyn richter we're talking about here—) and he doesn't like the ones which are battle-focused or things like racing games. if you want to play mario kart or super smash bros a few times, though, he'll indulge you.

RAVEN ;

WOO HE HAS A BUDDY TO GAME WITH!

get ready to play through his wide collection of games he's collected over the years, trying everything out on each different console he has!

he'll sometimes manage to convince you to go outside from time to time, like treating you to lunch or dinner or visiting an arcade or something

he'll sometimes arrange escape rooms inside your or his house, to get your brains thinking and also to get you to have some sort of physical activity

:D

really loves puzzle games. there's one which he particularly likes, it's called "the room", and he's bought all the different versions of it.

if you don't know what this game is, it's basically where you have to try and unlock these complicated puzzle boxes. sometimes you can explore the rooms because there are some things in there which you have to solve first in order to unlock the mystery

it's taken me absolutely forever to do just two puzzles in the first one, but i feel like with luke's big brain he'll absolutely speed through the whole thing faster than sonic the hedgehog

he likes to play it with you, because two brains are better than one! so together, you'll try to solve the puzzle boxes in record time.

yeah, you two have a speedrun record on this game.

[actualbird]

tot ao3 fic recs part 5: character studies or just any fic that made me go, "damn, author knows/interprets this character AMAZINGLY!!!"

previous tot fic recs post can be found at the very bottom of my tot masterlist

these are fave fics ive read that made me further Understand the tot character in question, that opened my eyes or delved deeper into an already visible trait, that well and truly studied tot characters like a bugs under a microscope (affectionate).

all 6 fics here feature no ships and are completed

---

it waits for you by quarterweeb

“I hope you liked the city; it’s a favorite of mine.” Artem nodded, and the old woman smiled indulgently. “Did you visit Vienna, too?” - Inspired by Billy Joel's "Vienna."

focus on artem, outsider pov

this fic is the most recent one on this list that i read and oh my god, it made me actually cry. real tears, yo. in the span of 1.5k words, artem wing was gently pried open and told the exact kindness he NEEDS to hear and also will have the MOST trouble believing. the prose here is so like, beautifully simple, just an everyday conversation that can happen to any of us. but then there are lines of dialog that happen that artem is never gonna forget.

and also im never gonna forget a very specific line here. it's been etched into my BRAIN. i wont spoil it tho, GO READ THIS! ESP IF UR AN ARTEM ENJOYER!!!

---

artblock by quarterweeb

There’s the sound of some slapping, and then a switch flicks on. Cody blinks against the light, although it’s still kinda dim. The whole hallway looks...gross. It looks gross! The walls and the floors are just gray-brown concrete with little posters and stuff hung up to make it look less like a jail. In front of him is a guy with normal clothes on and dog tags. “You look like an asshole,” Cody says, because it's true and his parents aren’t around. - Cody Teller is locked in the depths of the Stellis Art Gallery, when some random guy comes out of nowhere to help him out.

focus on marius, outsider pov

yo, i think quarterweeb is a master of outsider pov by this point. this is another one of her fics and it's SO DELIGHTFUL!! LITTLE KID POV and thru this pov the fic takes us thru this like, rlly sincere snapshot of who marius is when hes connected over something he loves: art. thru just the interaction in here, a very clear understanding of marius shines thru even if the fic isnt going too "deep" so to speak.

all in all, this is funny and very earnest read!!

---

Two Degrees (of Separation) by samandspam

“... After all, I have two doctorate degrees, whereas Artem has only one.” Sure, he only had a doctorate in law, but he had managed to pass an exam that had a one percent pass rate with flying colors. He may have the patience and goodwill of a saint, but Neil and Celestine had honed on his subtle pettiness. But such was the saying: you should always lookout for the quiet ones. or alternatively: Artem is a petty guy who does not take lightly to being called out without reason.

focus on artem, comedy

who says character studies have to be "serious" all the time? not sam cuz this fic is a frigging HOOT. showcases an artem wing that, under what many think is a wooden sign that says No Fun Allowed, is a person who actually is Very Fun Allowed (Because Of Spite). sam is super great at taking what you "expect" a character to do and then turning that on its head in a way that still completely fits, and that specialty is v much highlighted here!

v much recommend if you want something lighthearted!!

---

Penne for your thoughts? by samandspam

"If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him... The people who give you their food give you their heart." — Cesar Chavez or alternatively: artem makes food for the nxx. a series of three (maybe four) drabbles where artem makes food for marius, vyn, and luke.

focus on all nxx boys, comedy, found family

i like to call this fic "i cant believe pasta counts as therapy!" kJBKJKFGS but rlly, this fic is the 2nd in a series where artem is rlly fucking good at making pasta and each chapter delves into each nxx boys' insecurities or feelings. and then those feelings r met with warmth and comfort and pasta. each chapter shows a rlly wonderful understanding of who the boys are thru what they fear and how to address those fears.

in this fic, you'll get a laugh and also maybe a cry if ur a repressed bastard like me who really kins luke, HAHA. deffo give this a read if u want to feel an ache in ur heart but then like, a hug after that.

---

Despite All Odds, It Seems I've Met My Match by sure_galena

Now that she’s facing him — and at a closer distance — Artem notices there’s something familiar about her eyes. He’s used to seeing them each time he looks in the mirror. “Who—” Artem clears his throat, trying to shove away the pinpricks of fear, the snake’s fangs beginning to poke at him. “Who are you?” The woman stops about a meter away from him, keeping a cautious distance between them. “Artemis Wing, senior attorney at Justitia Law Firm. And I’m inclined to ask you the same question.” * Or: after an NXX mission causes Artem to get transported into a parallel universe, he meets the genderbent counterparts of the NXX Investigation Team.

focus on artem, found family

man mAAANNNNN!!! this fic is such a huge fave of mine!!! the artem wing we know and love ends up in a universe where things r the same but Not Really. that in itself had me hooked but then galena goes the extra mile by using this fantastic premise as a way to make artem realize and confront his flaws and fears. that + some rlly cool plot + SO MUCH FOUND FAMILY FEEEELLLSSSSS //SOBS. artem's pov here is exquisite, it's got this solid/strict vibe in how he handles himself but also this like, looping and almost endless questioning of his faults as a person, IT'S SO GREAT TO READ!!!

artem enjoyers, check this fic out!!

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In the end, all I hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you by sure_galena

When Vyn is away on a business trip and needs help with his plants, Luke (and the rest of the NXX crew) end up signing up for more than they thought they would

focus on luke, action, found family

nothing brings a team together than fighting a giant evil plant that vyn supposedly ordered!!! vyn, what the HELL?? but srsly, this fic is wonderful and i love it to bits. galena back at it again with a wonderfully absurd premise and then uses that premise to dissect character and this fic's victim is Luke Pearce. take it from me, self diagnosed luke pearce enthusiast, that this fic is incredible. be it through little quirks luke does with his phone contacts or how he strategizes a battle plan or the thoughts only us readers are privy to in his internal monolog, this fic delivers a LOVELY interpretation of who luke is. all the while telling a very entertaining and well paced story.

im pspspsppspss-ing luke enjoyers, come here, read this fic, it's great!!

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if you enjoy these fics, make sure to support the story with a kudos, comment, and/or bookmark!!!! feedback is the best way to make an author happy :D

[sikereviewdotcom]

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on  a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling 

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged  there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood 

jk 

tg, out

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[xuhoon]

10. 97 line :DD

10. Have children with / Spend Christmas with / Take out on a date

IM GONNA CRY OH MY GOD THIS ONE...

can we just appreciate dad!seokmin?? he’d be so cheerful and gentle, but also very responsible and strive for their happiness ;-;

i would love to spend christmas with mingyu granted we’ve been dating for a while and i could koala him in front of my large family with smiles and love oh gosh im so soft for this. ice skating??? hot chocolate?? wait is this my hao fic--

you bet your ASSES Xu Minghao, the man himself, is all three of these yes i am cheating!! ahem here’s why: best dad!hao taking our tots on fun adventures to the beach because he’s secretly a merman and giving shoulder rides while he points out things for the kids to see. i honestly can imagine hao coming over this year for christmas and partaking in all our little traditions but also bein there for me when i need to escape the hectic festivities and we can just snuggle up in my room watching youtube or a movie while drinking mulled wine. and y’all know that he’d take me out on the most wonderful dates so our photography passions can grow together god i freaking love this BOY! can we go to the aquarium? disneyland? the mall so he can spoil me? all of the above ideal boyfriend here