#im so normal about divine vivienne im so normal | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

proteus-no · 5 years ago

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EXACTLY!!!

people in the fandom tend to ignore a lot of character development in the DA series between games and then say "THIS IS OOC AND THEYRE MAKING UP BULLSHIT"

happened with Anders and DAO:A and DA2, going from jokey guy to depressed man who fights for mage rights (ignoring hes still funny man in DA2, and was very concerned about mage rights in DAO:A)

Cullen goes from being a somewhat nice templar who did his job but wasnt cruel to mages and somewhat regretted what he had to do (he feels somewhat guilty about being the one that would have to take the killing blow during your harrowing) and if you played as a female mage? Cullen is even more empathetic to mages

then goes through an extremely traumatic experience where he is being psychologically tortured for what, days? all of the other templars were murdered or possessed in front of him, and as far as he can see, it was mages abusing their powers that did that.

if a nurse at a psych ward was tortured for days by violent patients with psychosis, you could see how that nurse would hate or resent other people with psychosis, whether or not they tortured them, or are even violent, or if theyre good people who want to live their life

thats where Cullen ends up in the beginning of DA2. he doesn't see mages as normal people (and thats a fair point, they have extremely powerful abilities. just like how superheroes arent seen as normal people), he thinks they deserved to be punished like this, that any of them could be secretly insane like Uldred was and would attack and kill everyone. And in comparison, theres even more mages and templars in the gallows than in kinloch hold, and even civilians who can come and go as they please. in his eyes, another incident like what happened in Ferelden is out of the question: the body count would be astronomical. Meredith only pushes his paranoia of this, and even uses it to her advantage. her templars may resent how strict she is, but if her extremely traumatized and vindictive Knight-Captain is also in the same boat, her men with fall in line.

but by the time the end of DA2 rolls around, he realizes how poisonous this thinking is. through Meredith, he sees someone he could have become: obsessed with blood magic, killing innocent mages who committed the crime of being alive, going behind everyones backs, even the Divine, because she was so deluded (granted this was because of the red lyrium, but she would have headed down that road regardless)

and then Anders went and blew up the chantry.

i cant remember what in game dialogue Cullen has on it, but personally i belive that although he resented Anders for killing innocents he can see how far the mages were pushed. Meredith backed them into a corner, so they struck back, with explosive (heh) consequences.

and you want to know what Cullen does? he doesnt kill the mages like everyone thought he was going to, because he sympathizes with them, he sees how insane Meredith has gone and opposes her.

this is was fuels him going to DAI, where he is still a bit wary of magic and mages, and in the wake of the death of the Divine thats understandable, but he ultimately trusts mages. he puts his faith in Solas, Vivienne, Dorian, and even a mage inquisitor, and hell, he's even good enough friends with Dorian to play chess with him!

so yeah, Cullen's arc is an important one, especially since games dont tend to, or dont have the chance to, depict the long term effects of PTSD like this (along with rehabilitation of drug addiction), and if you romance Cullen, its only made more clear.

sorry about the long reply but im very passionate about this

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think Cullen is that bad in DA2. Not the beginning at least. Guy went from being traumatized wanting to end all mages to being tolerant and somewhat passive. He has strong opinions. But I can see his point in needing a Circle. It’s a safe place and a good place to learn. Do I think it should be ran like a prison? Of course not. Do I agree with Cullen saying all mages need to be watched? Hell no. But do I see progress? You bet I do. And it sucks all that gets ruined.

That being said, I respect some people feel very differently and that is okay! Not everyone agrees on everything when it comes to character growth and views. The beauty of these games is that there is a lot to leave to interpretation.

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bi-mirandalawson · 6 years ago

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heres 3k of cullen/romelos that im never gonna finish

in my head, they have a sort of fling inbetween corypheus’ defeat and the beginning of trespasser

its just a bit of the beginning and then the breakup bc thats. really all i wanted to write in the first place. im mostly just putting this here for continuity’s sake.

skyhold was lonely. romelos could pass time with just about anyone, but people she really connected with were few and far between. and her companions are leaving. varric heads to kirkwall soon enough, and he writes often, but its a sore replacement for his company. dorian heads to tevinter, and romelos misses his company even more than varric's. she sends him letters weekly with gossip from skyhold. some of it she makes up. cassandra leaves for the sunburst throne. blackwall just leaves, and she doesn't know why for months.

iron bull wouldn't leave unless he were kicked out, and the chargers stay with him. romelos probably spends the most of her free time with him. he is warm, and he makes her laugh, and the chargers accept her as one of their own. cole is another favorite of hers. he always has an ear to listen, and never stops offering to help. she likes taking him on missions to fix things, or to help people, although he finds ways to help no matter where he was. his happiness made her happy. she supposes he knows that.

vivienne is good company for a while. they talk at great lengths about magic, and what vivienne will do now that cassandra is divine, and what romelos will do now that the breach is closed. vivienne teaches her the power to command a room, instead of just the battlefield. she leaves for orlais, however, and though her letters are frequent at first, they grow more sparse over time. romelos knows she is busy, and sends her letters all the same. vivienne responds to groups of them at once, never skipping over anything romelos says.

sera stays for a while, but part of romelos thinks its because sera doesn't have anywhere to go back to. its not a problem though, even if romelos finds herself on the receiving end of more than one prank. josephine is a delight to have around, even if romelos can't spend a lot of time with her. they wander the gardens occasionally, and the little songs josephine hums under her breath always put a smile on romelos' face.

cullen gets more than a fair share of her time. they have game nights at least one night a week, whenever she's in skyhold, sometimes involving other people, sometimes not. they play chess, and wicked grace, and one time they try to come up with their own card game but it falls apart as soon as they try to teach someone else. sometimes there's alcohol involved, and sometimes, they get to talking so much their game falls aside, and its just conversation. easy conversation, that flows like they've been friends for ages. romelos feels more herself around him, and maybe its because she saw him at a weak point, at a point where he became unpleasant and hard to deal with. she thinks that gives her a certain permission to be weak or unpleasant around him, and still be accepted.

it is a night like this, when their cards have been set aside in favor of a bottle of rum passed back and forth, that he surprises her.

"i still dont get how he could have done that," he says, his words a little slurred, his face a little flush.

"done what?"

"left you. at that lake." ah. he was talking about solas. romelos wasn't letting herself complain about him much these days, but cullen seemed happy enough to do the complaining for her. "i mean. wasn't he supposed to be smart? pretty dumb move, if you ask me."

"how do you figure?" she leans her head on her hand and watches him with half-lidded eyes. his face is flushed deeper and he takes another generous swig from the bottle before speaking again.

"anyone with half a brain would never pass up a chance with you." he slams the bottle on the table and leans forward, locking eyes with her. "he had you, as much as you could be had, and he threw it away! what a fool!" she grabs the bottle from his hand, and notices him jump when her fingers brush his.

"what about you then, cullen?" she takes a swig. "are you a fool?"

"no!" he says immediately, a knee-jerk reaction. a second later, he says, "am i?"

"you certainly were." he is flushed all the way to his ears now. "you had a chance, you know." she pauses, and he glances at her. he looks away quickly. "i could have fallen for you, commander." she sees him swallow.

"really?"

"oh yes. do you really doubt yourself so much?"

"well you were such a dreadful flirt, especially at haven. how could i have known you were serious?" he tried to keep his tone light, but she could hear the disappointment and insecurity in his voice.

"you think i couldn't have been serious? how many people did i actually flirt with? solas, you, dorian -and you know that doesn't count. bull once or twice but thats just how he is. harding once, as a joke to lighten the mood." she takes a drink and then leans back in her chair. she sees cullen's eyes flicking between her own eyes and her lips. "i know most of those are jokes, but only because there wasn’t a sincere chance of it happening. and if it made you think i wasn't taking you seriously, i apologize. but give yourself more credit, commander."

he wrings his hands for a moment, and looks like he's chewing on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying every word he's thinking. finally, he lets out a chuckle and runs his hands through his hair. he stares at the ceiling, still chewing on his lip.

"i really was a fool, wasn't i?" he asks quietly, more to himself than to romelos.

"to be fair, cullen, i was too." she corks the bottle and stands up. "i think its about time i took my leave. we do have responsibilities in the morning." he says nothing as she leaves.

romelos takes the long walk back to her room in skyhold, letting the cool night air clear her head. her steps sway a little, so she stays back from the edge.

she hates when he brings up solas. romelos wants to be done talking about him. it no longer hurts to see her own reflection, and she no longer holds the hope that he will return to skyhold. she is content to let it stay in her past, but cullen, it seems, is not. and every time he brings up solas, it reminds romelos of what she and cullen almost had.

some mornings, especially after long nights with cullen, she wakes with the feeling of lips on her own, and her fingers tangled in curly blond hair. she always pushes it down, writes it off as just loneliness. or selfishness, because it would be awfully conceited to think he would still be interested in her after so long.

neither of them speak of that conversation. cullen averts his gaze when romelos walks in to the war room, but is otherwise normal. over the next few days, though, she can't tell if he is avoiding her on purpose or if he's just busy. she doesn't see him for more than a few minutes, but he agrees to meet her in the garden for a game of chess later, so she tries not to think too much about it. the sun is just setting when cullen joins her in the garden. he apologizes for being so late, says that he was waist deep in supply requisitions and leave requests and unfinished reports, and josephine would not let him leave until it was sorted through. romelos laughs.

"you know, if you did your paperwork before it got up to your waist, it wouldn't be such an ordeal." she makes the first move. he is quick to counter.

"you say that as if you've never been swimming in un-filed forms."

they go back and forth for a while. romelos lights a lantern when the sun disappears completely below the horizon. it is full dark when they finish their game (romelos wins, not that it matters, nor does she gloat). the moon is full and illuminates the garden in silver light.

"walk the battlements with me? the sky is pretty tonight," cullen says. "the sky is pretty every night, but.. the moon is full?" his voice gets quieter and his hand shoots up to the back of his neck. romelos smiles.

"sure."

she points out constellations, telling him the dalish stories associated with them. he tells her the names and stories the chantry taught him, how he found comfort in picking them out of the sky whenever he was travelling. they fall in to pleasant silence, looking out at the moonlight reflecting on the snow-capped mountains.

"i wanted to.. apologize." though he is nervous, he manages to look at romelos while speaking. "it was inappropriate to bring up solas. i consider you a friend, romelos, but your romantic involvements are your own personal business, and i crossed a line."

she is.. surprised. she had expected them both to just ignore what had happened. she certainly hadn't expected an apology.

"it's alright," she says. "i dont know if you crossed a line so much as there really never.. was a line? we've always been too familiar with each other." she wants it to sound reassuring, but is afraid it sounds like its even more of a problem.

"oh," cullen says. she watches him process what she said, sees his brows knit together in thought. "you're right. we never had much of a professional distance. i didn't realize how deeply the problem ran until now. i apologize again, lavellan, and i will take my leave. im sure you have a busy day tomorrow and you should get a full night's sleep." he starts to walk past her towards his room and she grabs his arm.

"cullen, wait." he stops with no struggle. "thats not what i meant." her voice is soft. she wants to look down but forces herself to look up at his face. he is watching her closely and her heart beats faster. "i don't want a 'professional distance'." that was what she had with solas, after he left her at the lake. she couldn't bear the thought of cullen only calling her 'inquisitor' or only talking to her about inquisition responsibilities. he takes her hand gently. he is smiling.

"good. neither do i." he leans down, closing his eyes, and romelos stands on her tip toes to reach him. his lips are chapped, and he seems like he's afraid to mess it up, or afraid that she will push him away. she does the opposite - she places a hand on the back of his neck, threading her fingers in to the hair she's dreamed about, and pulls him down, pressing their lips closer.

when they finally step apart, they're both red in the face and grinning. his hair is mussed and his lips are red from kissing, and romelos thinks he's never looked more handsome.

"i uh, really do have to get some sleep," she says. "we're leaving for the emprise tomorrow morning. but i'll see you first thing when i get back."

"i'm sure i'll see you before you leave. sleep well, romelos." he turns to walk away and gives her a small awkward wave. she laughs a little and returns it, and practically floats to her room.

---

"so, you and the commander, huh?" bull asks as soon as their out of the gates of skyhold.

"how did you-" she starts, but then realizes.

"ben-hassrath," they say together.

"he had this look on his face, directed specifically at you." cole is listening intently. "was he good?" romelos flushed redder than her hair and almost fell off her hart.

"what do you mean? we haven't-" she sputters and iron bull lets out a roaring laugh.

"no, i figured you hadn't. the commander doesn't seem like the type to rush in to the sack. you don't either, for that matter. but you've kissed right? is he a good kisser?"

"he's a fine kisser, though i cant see how its any of your business," she says, glaring at him out of the corner of her eyes.

"curling fingers through curling hair, lips soft and secure. you never wanted to stop."

"cole!" romelos shouts. bull laughs. she nudges her hart forward and keeps herself 10 feet ahead of them until they stop to camp.

---

when they get back to skyhold, romelos finds a hot bath in her room, and a roaring fire in the fireplace. there is a bottle of wine, a soft towel, and a folded note on the little table beside the tub. she strips and sinks in to the hot water, exhaling at the sharp contrast against her icy skin. it is the perfect temperature, and the tension seeps out of her stiff legs and back. after her body is warmed through and through, she pours herself a glass of wine and picks up the note.

thought you would need something to warm you up after time in the emprise. if you need something stronger than a hot bath and some wine, ive got a brand new bottle of spiced rivaini rum in my quarters. would love to hear about your trip over a couple of glasses and a game of cards.

cullen

she smiles and her stomach is warm without even touching the wine. how thoughtful. she would have to join him later. for now, she was content to sink lower in to the water, to close her eyes and listen to the crackling fire.

in her state of relaxation, romelos almost falls asleep. she forces her eyes open, and stands up out of the water. she dries herself before she steps out and gets dressed. it is not very late, so cullen should still be awake. she thinks he might even stay up for her, if it is later than she thinks. romelos grabs a heavy cloak and starts walking to his quarters. the moon is just a sliver hanging low in the sky. the wind is cold and harsh, telling of a cruel winter approaching.

she knocks a couple times on the door before walking in. cullen is sitting at his desk, two empty glasses in front of him. he smiles and gestures her to sit down across from him. in the time it takes to hang her coat and sit down, the glasses are full of dark rum. she takes a sip of the nicest rum she's ever had. it must have been expensive. she wonders if cullen bought it just for her. he deals cards between the two of them and asks about her trip.

she tells him between sips of rum, and they pass the hours like they pass cards back and forth. she laughs, and she makes him blush, and she stays until she is struggling to keep her eyes open. there is a small smile on cullen's face when he sees her head bob forward before she jerks it back up, snapping her eyes open.

"i'll walk you back to your room," he says. she wobbles to her feet, having drunk more than she had planned on. after watching her struggle with the clasp on her cloak, cullen steps in and fastens it for her. he smells like the spices on the rum and the spices in his cologne. in the back of her mind, she remembers that he only wears cologne on special occasions. the thought that this was a special night makes her stomach flip. she fights the urge to press herself against his chest and inhale. then she thinks 'fuck it' and does it anyway.

cullen's hands hover over her shoulders. romelos' hands wrap around his waist and she hums happily as she inhales the spicy-sweet cologne.

"uh.. romelos?"

she quickly releases her grip on his waist and steps back. her immediate fear is that she has overstepped a boundary, that she has pushed unwanted affection on him.

"you smell good. you're wearing your fancy cologne." from the alcohol, her words feel thick like molasses on her tongue. he smiles tenderly.

"since you like it so much, i should wear it more often." he offers her his arm and leads her slowly across the battlements towards the rotunda. she leans heavily on him, but he doesn't mind.

"i would like that but," but she's sure its expensive and she doesn't want him to spend money to impress her. "if you wore it all the time, it wouldn't be your fancy cologne. it would just be normal. i like that it's special." they cut through the rotunda, and now that solas isn't here all night studying, the room isn't kept lit at night. the light from the library filters down and she can barely make out the mural on the wall. it makes her stomach clench. she looks down at her hand grasping cullen's arm.

"well, if you say so. maybe we just need more special occasions at skyhold." he walks her to the door in the corner and quiet descends on them. she doesn't want to say good night.

"tell josephine. i'm sure she would be able to find an excuse for another party."

---

"i don't think.. we can do this anymore." romelos speaks quietly and the words fall hollow from her lips. the words feel as empty as she does.

"what do you mean? what's wrong?" the hurt in cullen's voice is immediate, and she had prepared herself for it but it still cut her through.

"i don't think im... capable of being in a relationship." she looks at him and regrets it. if she thought the hurt in his voice was bad, the hurt on his face was worse. she could have physically stabbed him and his face wouldn't hold as much pain as it did right then.

"is this about solas?" another dagger of ice to her stomach.

"a little. it's mostly about me, though. and you. you deserve better, and you deserve someone who can commit to you, and i can't do that."

"okay," he says, his voice wavering. she can hear how hard he's working to keep it flat. "i can't make you love me, no matter how badly i want to."

#writing tag #oc: romelos #my inquisitors

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