#im so glad hes doing better now
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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Thank you for making that cherik edit of "Marvel's Squirrel Girl: The Unbeatable Radio Show!" especially with the subtitles!!! Made it so much easier for me, who has a really hard time understanding audios without subtitles or transcripts, so thank youuu!!!
Also, Idk if you know that new edit trend of using the song "would you love me" from epic the musical to portray like people falling in love with each other across multiple universes. But anyway, your tags in that post about a podcast not being safe from cherik made me think of that edit trend. I realize that's literally so cherik coded
I went and looked for an example of the trend:
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6a3MYN4/
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS6a3QVjN/
YAAAAY i'm so happy you enjoyed !! i wanted to make subtitles with that specific purpose in mind so i'm so glad someone got use out of it (i know i had to repeat some bits a couple of times because /i/ wasnt exactly sure what was said during my first couple listens, so i figured other people might not be able to hear some portions well either) :]]] !!!!
but vjALJAKLJKLJERA that's so funny ........ and true ...... even in a podcast universe they'll find a way to be wedded and divorced and remarried 🥺💀💀 they're inevitable ...
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#snap chats#i love the squirrle girl pod cast so much so im glad to share the erik bits from it ... lol ..#even if it did rob me of my day yesterday BUT I HAVE NO REGRETS#it was painful adn annoying sometimes but i do love subtitling. and again im glad i can finally help share these bits more now#so work well worth it i think !!!! plus now /i/ get to listen to these clips easily. .... . . heh...#though someone said i missed a bit ?? from an after-credits call ? i tried looking in the post credits of the last episode and eriks last e#but i couldnt find anymore ... i hope its not true because if it is im effectively going to lose my mind 👯♀️#anyways. see charles and erik's relationship is integral ....... legally impossible to discuss one without the other at soem point#so funny that erik really was just calling in to bother charles on sendin one of his students tho ERIK#that is some married-people shit tho ..... gotta send the kids over to help peepaw out ffs ..#well hopefully erik got that coke. and they finished that rockumentary ....#i love how excited erik is about the better internet jvEALKEJAKL like first off Real second off he's so giddy about his gigs 😭😭😭
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extremely exhausted. probably coming down with a cold. and unable to fall asleep because I'm thinking about the stray cat I've been taking care of for 5 years who's in the hospital and probably won't make it.
#my mum (who's also been taking care of him) noticed a few days ago he had lost a lot of weight. wasn't eating or grooming himself#and today she managed to get him to the vet with the help of my aunt's partner#and the prognosis... wasn't great. we dont know what's wrong with him yet (will know by monday) but he's in very bad shape#the vet was very worried. put him on iv and is doing bloodwork on him#and i just. i dont wanna have hope that it may be sth fixable. because i know it probably isn't.#and it's better to not have hope. than believe he'll be ok only for him to be gone by Monday#i just wish i was home so i could see him one last time and say goodbye. I'll miss him so much.#he's like my own cats atp he just doesn't live inside our apartment#and he's such a good sweet boy. has the cuttest saddest meow. is a bully to other cats but loves humans. fluffiest man ever.#he deserved so much better. and im glad that if he does go it'll be in a warm safe place#and not in the grass and out in the cold all alone. but i just wish i could have said goodbye.#tw animal death#idk im just. I've been crying on and off all day#but i went out with a friend for 6hrs and it helped. but now im all alone tryig to sleep and i just cant#and my head and eyes and nose also hurt because i probably caught a cold#i hate everything
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#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me#i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job#when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever#im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do#im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far#but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird#all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job#and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration#or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing#which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn#im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor#unrelated
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ARCANE DAY
Episode 4 and 5 in the tags and:
SALO BEING A VIKTOS FOLLOWER??? CRAZY. ALSO BOTH VIKTOR MISSING JAYCE AJDHSKSJ also cait has kinda calmed down... and I am sure she misses vi so I KNOW this is going to happen to her soon.... we aren't getting much of her feelings yet... she's still too onto Jinx to catch up on where ambessa is going...
DID JAYCE JUST KILL SALO??? WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE
Also vander not recognizing vi at first until she gives up fighting.... incredible ALSO vander and silco being miners and vi wearing her gauntlets that were initially thought out for miners.... damn
This is my favourite episode so far....
Episode 6 here:
Sky really being there..... of course she is....
Ambessa training caitlyn.... of course thats her new daughter akdjskms Tunnels in your eyes.... GIRL!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU DON'T NEED RIGHT NOW also the guy outside is a mage... ambessa is such a hypocrite
Vi and Jinx vs ambessa and cait.... this was always about class war don't get it twisted SINGED!!! TRAITOR!!!!
ARE THEY GOING TO SEE VIKTOR???? I looove how viktors touch on their faces leave "scars" so recognizable
Did isha just take the gem from vi's gauntlets??? Omg I wasn't expecting viktor to build a hippie commune to be honest omg he looks so good.... with the blonde underhairs.... and I do believe that's the same blanket....
And of course viktor knows who vander is.... nvm he diesnt know omg viktor asking for Powder.....
We are getting viktor horsegirl montage.... omg the vander momtage I can't..... omg they wanna stay.... singed is gonna fuck all this up NOOOOO 😭😭😭 they are already there I am going to kms
CAITLYN STOP THIS MADESSS!!! ✋️ CAITLYN!!!!! VI KILL THIS MAN!!! OMG CAITLYN...... mongoose... yeah.... and fuck you too.... CUPCAKE!!!! ABOUT TIME!!!! CAITLYN I SAID STOP THIS MADNESS WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!! And jayce too 😭😭😭 we're never making it out of the fissures
It's such a shame the spit on here won't work like on challengers.... one can only pray I guess
Jinx experiencing the "there's nothing more undoing as a daughter" moment.... incredible
"Your absence provided a vacuum I was able to fill" TO VI???? I KNEW THAT HAND HOLDING IN THE COMMANDER SCENE WAS SUS AKDHKASJ maddie exists and ambessa knows that and still.... it was not filling her mother's void...
YES CAITLYN!!! YES!!!!! VI is so hot I am distracted... ambessa was right.... now what the fuck will jayce fuck up??? Thats the question... NOT ANOTHER CHILD!!! jayce is a menace... the guys smiling at jayce are viktor... maybe the child even....
JINX KILL THAT MAN!!! NVM VANDER KILL THAT MAN!!! JAYCE YOU FUCKING MORON!!!!! JAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHEN I GET YOU JAAAYCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Isha what are you going to do omg 😭😭 did she kill vander... another powder... my god another week...
That was such a good fucking episode too.... and caitlyn didn't go insane when finding Jinx that is a step forwards but viktor can't be dead... no fucking way... he was giving himself away for the people and he was going to finally die by saving vander and look at what we got... no wonder viktor hates his guts. Jayce you were so good in act one.... what happened..... alright. Christ.... another week....
#FUCKING MADDIE?????????????? NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYYYYY#fucking maddie??? yes she is fucking her. christ. jinx was right vi should have hit before all of that.... maddie bet her to it 😭😭😭#i have tears in my eyes aldjaodjsk no fucking way what the heeeeeeell ooooh my goooood nowaaayyaaayyyaaaayyyy#and cait looks so pretty....... she is still focused on jinx.....#omg isha..... jinx gave up jinx??? what...... ambessa is making hextech... so jayce is still missing.... well she is trying#and mel is still missing too.... christ and ekkos friend is sympathetic to jinx... mmhmhmmmmm also ambessa clocks everything aldjakaj#cait has calmed down.... what is happening... she is now only violent towards jinx i guess. ambessa is opening that wound over and over oof#THE MIDDLE FINGER AKDBAKSBKANSKA sevika is unifying the underground i knew it!!! yes!!!! jinx show up!!!!#cait paying homage to her mother while rictus beats up some guy.... her suffering meking her an enabler to those actions... yeah#oh no..... they know.... isha lighting the fire like jinx did.... sevika getting her arm cut... ISHA BEAT HIM UUUP!!! JINX!!!! omg singed..#enforcer vi becoming part of her hallucinations... its so over... also silco... jinx kill this man. not ambessa... omg jinx run....#she likes iiiit yeeeeahhhh.... ekkos friend... . and THE BROTHEL LADY... SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS!!! SHE IS SO GLAD!!! WARWICK!! FUCK SHIT UP!!#OMG HE RECOGNIZES HER!!!!! HE SPEAKS!!!!! WHAT A FUCKING MASSACRE OUTSIDE BUT HE DOES RECOGNIZE HER!!!!#CALL VIIIII THROW A PARTY WE ARE A FOUR PEOPLE HOUSEHOLD NOW!!! FIVE WITH SEVIKA!!! COME ON AT LEAST TRY!!!#his eyes changing color... singed you are nothing compared to a fathers love... jinx complaining about not really having killed powder....#she didnt and vander recognises that.... amazing omg........#THE CAIT IN BED HALLUCINATION AND JINX THERE!!!! its so weird seeing them both like this.... jinx wanting to help him.... ofc...#THEY GOT VANDER???? also you know whats funny... the cape makes cait look like silco... it looks red even#why is singed based.... OMG MEL!!! HER BROTHER!!!!! OH MY GOD VIIII LOOKS SO GOOOD!!!! HER GAUNTLETS ARE PAINTED BLACK TOO AKDBAKS#bitch mittens (not even diy) damn vi she got you hard THE BITCH SLAP omg vi... your big sister duties...#singed actually venering vander.... do not help the opressor singed!! i just said you were based!!! IS MEL PREGNANT?!?!??!#she does enjoy her puzzles..... oh of course he is an hallucination.... the first time he appeared behind her....#silco and vanders old hq..... omg MORE DOOMED YAOI...... vander apologised but silco didn't read the letter 😭😭 as vi reaches for jinx omg#vi wearing her enforcer plaque without the plaque.... slay but why. no vander no loke he is a dog akdhaksj IS VANDER THEIR ACTUAL FATHER#NO FUCKING WAY A LOVE TRIANGLE AND EACH ONE GETS OME DAUGHTER AIDHOQSJOSAKL i need a fucking moment....#well its not vanders.... BUT THE SAME CUP AND STRAW FOR POWDER OMG!!! THE FATHERS THAT STEPPED UP!!!CONNEL GET RECKT!!!!#bedrock and blisters my fucking god. vander and silco wanting to build a better zaun for her daughters... AND JINX AND VI ARE GONNA MAKE IT#vander looking at the woman she likes whos hair is purple: ive always liked the name violet. im going to be sick!!!! my god!!!#MY GOOOOOD!!!!!!! VANDER HUGGING VI!!! THE SHOT OF HER OFFERING JINX TO JOIN WILL END MEE!!!!#watching arcane
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I'm not usually a person to post on many serious matters not regarding fandom on here, but as someone who watched a lot of his stuff and posted about him in the past a bunch, I just wanted to say that I'm no longer am going to interacting with any of Wilbur's content and if you support Wilbur Soot then please don't follow my blog because you are not welcome here. All strength and love to Shubble in this ✊
#just felt i should adress this stuff cause its. yeah#its so messed up#his music really helped me through some messed up stuff and even if i wanted to listen to it now i couldn't even enjoy it i don't think#its just. man#i havent been watching much of sbi and their friends since technos passing but like. this still is such a punch for some reason#glad shubble is in a better situation now and that she had the strength to come out with this. this is such a mess#tw abuse#Wilbur soot#im not gonna make more posts about it or rb much stuff if its not support for shubble#cause i try really hard to have my blog be a positive space for myself and for people who enjoy my art and my blog#but like. wilbur is such a godawful person and its like. with dream i just always thought he was annoying asshole#if not an absolutely awful person although you know i don't rule it out#but with Wilbur like. i never thought about him this way and now that i do a lot of stuff feels. well bad#there are a lot of things that seem really bad with this context.#its just. man. what a fucking asshole. don't even have words for this
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#silv rambles#so my dad has convinced his lawyers that hes got capacity and has revoked the PoA and Enduring Guardianship that i never wanted to be#ahh i am so glad to be free#the anxiety and depression i have felt especially since last june#is almost unexplainable#i did this for my sister I who really put herself through SO much trying to help this man who is selfish beyond measure & always has been#she tries to give him grace for the Huntington's but the truth is hes always been manipulating and self centred#hes stolen the last months of my mum he stole my recovery from cancer he stole our grieving period and he caused me to start having#panic attacks again and opened up trauma from csa (not him) that i had long dealt with by raising it without preface or warning#anyway#he wanted us removed as he has changed his mind and realised he'll be better off if he doesn't divorce his wife#and we are concerned that he doesn't understand the full impact of this#but hes been found to have enough capacity to make some choices so hes appointed her son- his step son- who he says will be impartial#lmao#anyway anyway#its all ao long and HORRIBLE and boring#but hes made his choices and wr are free#and i hope my sister I geta some peace#and i think all of us (my three sisters and I) can grieve mama and start to live with joy how she wants#and tomorrow im going to the ladies baths to swim in the ocean and then ill do some gardening and then#I don't know#finish my weaving#finish my seamus fic#who fucking knows#but i won't have yo be replying to messages berating me for something I never did in the first place or demanding i do something immediately#while also telling me i am stupid as im dyslexic and probably don't understand what he wants#etc etc#i want to write a proper post about this but i just need to get this out of me for now
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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good
#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man#i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault#ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever#but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's#depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way#i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but#i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being#suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways#but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to#act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand#idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that#getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh#besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks#ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru#til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking#but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort#the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done
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Read ur tag and... time to ask....
"Anything?"
I'll see myself out
when i was a child i lived in a neighborhood with jacaranda trees. the soft, purple flowers would fall and decorate the floor like snow. when the sun would set, the orange glow upon me and the flowers would feel like something in a daydream. i fell in love with the colors of the sunset. i would intentionally take my time walking home, just to walk through the neighborhood a little slower. when the sun would begin to set, it felt like time itself was paused for me and only me.
but even as time passed, i would pick up the jacarandas and put them in my room, in my hair, in my pockets and clothes. it complemented and reminded myself of who i was, even when i did not know the answer to that question at the time. the colors of the sunset became the colors of my childhood. my synesthesia made it taste like something out of a dream. i needed more. i wanted more. my room was painted with lavender walls. colors of purple with warmth became my paradise.
but then, tragedy struck.
my indulgence for the colors became more evident, i began to express myself, visually, vocally, loudly, with the colors of the flame. bright. bold. fire. i became what i endeared the most - i became warm. and warmer. bright. and brighter. dangerously alive. i was a flame that could not be extinguished. until - my mother would tell me, 'you are like a flame. it is bright now, but it will die out.'
'you will grow up to be alone.'
'miserable.'
little did she know. fire that has been extinguished, can be ignited once again. the tragedy is not what my mother had told me, but the tragedy of her failing to realize who i was. who i am.
so, who am i, my dear reader? i am the fire. the ash. and the breath of the flame. i am everything. i am anything.
anything? you ask.
yes. anything.
#ask syrips anything#syrips lore#ik this was a joke but also like i got way into it and ty u gave me a chance to do it so like why not hA HAha#also my biological eggdonor did say that and honestly im so glad im in a way better mental place now#but yes -queues through the fire and flames-#me and my bf like to joke that im the fire and he's the ice#cuz everytime we make characters he plays 'ice/cold' themed and i play 'fire/electric' alot#happy stuff#helpful stuff#happy simping
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Ulysses? 😶🌫️
#sorry he's not perfect im half asleep by now (11PM where i live and i wake up at 6)#but if i get more requests ill be glad to finish them tomorrow.#not in love with the hair ngl but this was fast so bear with me i will do better once i play his dlc#also my art blog is buttercupdraws06 for next time (if there is)
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What if I connected to a very unstable chassis then tried to kill you and your girlfriend wouldn't that be fun
#i need to redo my artfight refs and i needed to design the chassis part of vampire core for later on in the story#he has like an outfit change moment#is it even a portal story if theres not an evil bitch piloting the chassis /j#this is the same chassis seen in the portal coop dlc just with some changes so it's easier to draw#i think using this chassis works better than glados's because i don't wanna add glados to my oc story and vampire core does a lot coop tests#soo thats the vision#nothing against glados but id perfer to keep paradox as an oc only thing#and i don't wanna research how to write glados by reading her wiki page for hours#goddd i need to write the story outline before artfight comes#id like at least some of my characters to have lore on their pages ya know :)#i keep saying 'wow i need to write this already' then not doing it#oc writing is fun. i know its fun. i have fun doing it. but my brain tricks me into thinking its not fun and i don't like doing it#i got to the coloring stage before realizing I didn't like the brush i used for lineart so i had to redo it#but im glad i did it looks much better :) it also let me add the big claws i wanted him to have#i gave up on that puppet its an optional accessory for fun now sorryyyyyy#aughh i wanna animate so bad seeing my friends animate motivates me to do it too but I dont have timeeeee#portal#portal oc#☆Vampire Core☆
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Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰
#the klock keeps ticking#ouran high school host club#i watched ouran when i was 13 and repressed ah the classic experience yes yes#and i always said id rewatch but never did. until now cuz im going through something#im like halfway through and yeah id say theres quite a lot that ages like milk lol#like mostly just the way haruhi is treated is just. bad lol#a good thing is i like how haruhi personally feels about their own gender where they really honestly dont fucking care#which was a big relief cuz similar cases will have the ‘secret girl’ character either be really defensive#or you know. be like a naoto where its actually just the most uncomfortable thing ever#but the problem is the way that tamaki and occasionally the twins are like really obsessed with the girl thing#and constantly want haruhi to take on a feminine role cuz that wouldnt threaten their sexuality as much#tamaki in general is written so fucking weird lol and i do remember being based back then and hating him#and i never liked him with haruhi like im sorry hes just the worst option#hes capable of being funny when hes not being weird but I think he still ends up feeling horribly written#like when hes having his DRAMATIC LOVE INTEREST moments they just feel so horribly out of place#and theyre often times just badly aged tropes also the way haruhi is written in relation to the other members is weird#like i can see why theyd like the other characters but ive not really seen any reasons for them to like tamaki#but then the show will just randomly be like ‘oh yes haruhi thinks tamaki is a lovely person’ and its like. ooookay?#its ass lol and im probably preaching to the choir but like. haruhi is way better with a woman right?#i just know some desperate ass bastards have made some haruhi/renge content and i get it#other than that stuff i dont like i will say i enjoy what exists outside of the weird haruhi stuff#i like the characters and the concept is very funny and the episodes where everyone is normal are charming#and you know i gotta appreciate it for the impact it had on lame ass gay people even if the queer content is messy#ouran was just like. what we had for a long time. or at least was the most popular anime that featured queerness in some positive capacity#but also like. as it goes with this stuff once youve gotten to see better representation#you look back and youre like wow. im so fucking glad we can do better than this dogshit 😩
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Ok well now I do have a follow up idea for that last bthb
#itd be bobby wanting to reach out to his brother and dad and being scared to do so and talking to eddie about it#while buck and eddie are getting engaged and planning their wedding#hed talk to his brother first which wouldn't go well but eventually the brother would let him talk to his dad#which would go better#and bobbys like fuck why did i decide to do this now in the middle of all this happy stuff going on#and eddies like i dunno man its probably nice to have the happy stuff to fall back on?#we're all here for you. we all love you. im glad youre in my life. im glad you're going to be sort of my father in law now?#then he gets to watch his kid get married and probably cries a lot. but good crying maybe.#he said he'd send along pictures to his dad. he thinks he got some good ones.
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SENDING LOVE TO ALL THE FICTIVES U MENTIONED IN THOSE TAGS MAN WE OUT HERE STRUGGLING 🙏
FUCKING THANK YOU LMAOOOOOO -Anya
#anon friend#LIKE I DON'T THINK UNTIL TODAY WE'VE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABT ME DATING OUR JIMMY BUT. FUCK IT IT'S OUR BLOG LMAO#like i want everyone to know NO we do not ship source us first off fjfdjsjdkfjssj#and second like. me and everyone on the tulpar put source behind like as SOON as we formed. and it helped us function as people better LOL#anyways jimmy is the sweetest guy ever tbh now that he's not constantly paranoid about his in-source actions#new life new us! clean slate and all y'know? things are going great so far!#i lov him I'd kill for him. I'd also kill him and he agrees i deserve to kill him [lighthearted] HASHAHDHDHDJS#bill and flo on the other hand... they're fucking deranged word reclaimed they're SO funny#bill has chilled the FUCK out since He returned to the system tbh He's so sweet#im glad the two have each other! they truly do make each other happy!#wait flo is a subsystem now??... damn a lot's happened since i went dormant fhdndjfjf congrats bill on the +4 other spouses ig LMAO
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not "i can do better" or even "i deserve better" per se, because i can't really believe that, but an inexplicable third reason i won't settle for a relationship where my level of care, effort, and sacrifice isn't reciprocated <3
#can't really explain why#it's a feeling like i want to say i deserve better but i always feel fundamentally unworthy of love so that's not it#and it's definitely not confidence that i can actually find someone willing to treat me better bc i often think i'll end up alone#but its a feeling like i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't treat me the way i want to be treated#and i'm not saying this guy was cruel or bad in any way he just chose himself over me and didn't prioritize me#to the point that he broke up with me to make more time for his hobbies#and i don't need to be someone's absolute number 1 priority especially early in a relationship#but i feel like the relationship should be somewhere close to the top of the list#at least between career and skiing#not like i wanted or ever asked him to stop skiing#but he was aware that he was choosing to spend his time off doing that rather than seeing me#and im not even upset about that#honestly it was the entire days he spent in bed watching tv including the last day of break before we both went back to work#where he was too exhausted or lazy to want to see me even when i offered to come over#maybe it's not that i personally deserve better than that but i feel like everyone deserves better than that#anyway no point really but i cant quite put into words why i'm so okay with this breakup but this has something to do with it#i won't settle for not being a priority even if that means i end up alone#which is a nice feeling bc in the midst of it i was so patient and willing to put up with it#like oh he just needs time and if i out up with it and i'm not clingy then he'll love me and i'll become a priority#but even early in a relationship getting to know someone takes a willingness to prioritize doing that and make time for them#like i didn't need to see him every day but we had two entire weeks off from work and i saw him 4 times#and only 3 of those were actual dates#and i'm not mad at him i just accept that he's not really capable of having a relationship with anyone until he matures a lot#he didn't set out to hurt me or anything he's just immature and a bit selfish but i'm sure he doesn't even know that#but i'm glad it happened bc now i know what my standards are tbh#this has been a shitpost
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just realised how i usually dislike or feel indifferent about shounen mcs but senku and gon hxh are the only ones who actually manage to enter my top fave characters of their respective fandoms... they're so well written
#like i dont consider every other character in dcst well written tbh theyre quite one dimensional#but it doesnt affect their likeability to me i still enjoy their characters v much#me being a danganronpa fan might play a part actually dcst characters r all talent based like them#but senkus the only dcst character who has rly good writing imo and im so glad for that#hes so hopeful but not in a way that i find annoying idk#he has such a deep trust in humanity despite his character being all like ughhh affection ugghh i only care abt science#but he loves humanity so much and i just RAHHGHHH cant relate but it makes me want to believe in it too#i wanna reread dr stone but i dont rly have time but i wanna re-experience that hope#senku's relationship with his dad.... the way his dad struggled for the future bc he believed in his son#and as for gon i could never be a gon haterrrrr#like ppl hate him for his selfish tendancies but that just makes him more unique to me#he is like. 10 and now 12. dudes a child he does things based on his emotions yeah#the way he lacks the gift of discernment bc of his childlike manner and all#just makes him better#rant post ig bc i rmbr i have this acc and now instead of annoying my irls w my talks and i can speak to the void here#what prompted this was seeing one of those x > y twt post involving senku#LIKE DO NOT SPEAK ON HIMMMM
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