#im so fucking smart oml

[orangeberrycake]

folklore is so leo coded because it was released july 24th 2020 which is leo season and august is part of leo season too omg..

[maladaptivedaydreamsx]

⚠️ silvio route spoilers ahead ⚠️

[bogos-bint3d]

ok ok I trust you to be as insane about this as I am

in the seven eight nine dialogue, when Alphys talks about how seven loved five and was just doing what they felt they had to, Toriel interprets it as being Asgore doing what he had to for monsterkind, but I think she was actually thinking of Undyne doing what she felt like she had to by attacking Frisk, because she loves Asgore (and Alphys). being "sicced" on them as the captain of the royal guard, and playing the rule of the "misled antihero" in undertale's story.

when Toriel says that this makes seven "weak", Undyne bursts in with a distracting display of strength, trying to dismiss the topic. you could make the argument that she just wants to defuse Toriel from being mad at Asgore, but she has a seriously pissed look on her face. as if she took that personally, but also didn't know how to argue with it...

ANON. ANON YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT FOR THIS HOLY SHIT. ANON. ANON WHO ARE YOU ILY

DUDE YOUR MIND UXJSJSJSJSJSJSJJSJD IM AO CTAZY ABOUT THIS MAN TY FOR SENDKNG THIS YOU ARE SO SMART OML SHSHSJSKSKSKK

^actual image of me right now thank you so so so so much anonymous. When I find you.

[divinelolita]

GOOD MORNINGGGG(istg if you dont reply to those tiktoks imma-)

ANYWAY i woke up and had an idea for u cuz im so smart and imma give it to you

so lemme get theeee mcflurry and a big mac(full band headcannons) with a bf who just be maddddd clingy and they love it like all the time but thing is if someone does it a lot then they bound to need space and they thought if they told reader to stop he finna be sad

BUT sooner or mf they yell(not yell yell) for reader to stop for just a god damn minute and readers just like "ok🤷🏾" AND WALKS AWAY AND DOESNT HUG OR KISS THEM FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK(hell even two)💀💀💀💀like they will sit next to bro and he doesn't even lean on them😭🤚🏾

like he aint mad or nothin he just took it really literally😭

add anything you want like duhhh

BAND X CLINGY READER

teehee hii😈 you send me like 10 tiktoks in under a minute bro

BILL:

・He genuinely does love when your clingy

・Bro is clingy asf himself oml-

・Yet everybody needs alone time to themselves, and eventually he would just feel the need to be alone

・He really didn't want to hurt your feelings, he knew this was your way of showing your love, but he would eventually get overwhelmed.

・At first he'd try giving you small hints, like when he would say he wanted to go out for a walk. Yet everytime you wanted to come along and he didn't have the willpower to ask to go alone.

・He puts up with it for a little longer before he reaches a breaking point.

"M/N! Please just leave me alone for a second holy fuck-"

"Oh, okay."

・He'd feel relieved you weren't mad at him

・Yet after a day- hell maybe even a few hours- he's craving that touch again.

・Like sitting next to you on the couch just waiting for you to hold his hand or cuddle him VKYXWUHWVEE

・You took u alot of his time so now that you didn't hang out with him as much he felt surprisingly lonley.

TOM:

・Less patient than Bill.

・Babe he loves your touch, kissing you and holding you and snuggling you and-

・He won't admit it but he's actually quite clingy too.

・He really loves his alone time though, especially if its spent playing his guitar. He just likes to be alone to relax his mind

・Gives you a few subtle warnings, telling you he "has to clear his mind" and "needs to relax"

・Yet you would still cling to his shoulders like a koala. He loved you soso much and didn't want to hurt your feelings but he felt almost suffocated.

・Telling you he's going somewhere only for you to say "Ah, where are you going? Can I come too?"

"Can I go anywhere without you following me?!"

・lol ok

・You shrugged and walked away from him, he wanted to tell out your name and call you back but he also wanted time to himself

・Feels anxious when you don't hug or kiss him like you used to, he's afraid you'll break up with him or something.

GEORG:

・He'd get overwhemles pretty quickly

・No no, don't get him wrong, he absolutely loves hugging you. But sometimes he would rather hangout and talk instead of snuggling for hours.

・So if you ask to go out with him somewhere he doesn't care at all at first, actually encouraging you to come along with him.

・But, like Tom, he loves to be alone.

・It's just comforting for him to be in a quiet area with nobody else.

・Bro gives no warnings, just flat out says "Can you not touch me right now..?"

"My bad."

・He's happy you understand him and don't just yell at him. He's happy you respect his boundaries

・He finds himself missing your touch, how you would kiss him all over his cheeks and lips or how you would play with his hair when yo would cuddle.

・HE THINKS YOUR MAD AT HIMMMMMMMM

・He's kinda scared to ask you to start giving him attention again

・You seem fine so...shouldnt he feel fine too?

(he doesn't)

GUSTAV:

・KJHBECJJLEFCBLUIEHRCLKUWEBDCLJHWEDCMKWEDCBMJDCMJWEDBM

・He absolutely loves your affection, doesn't care if he's doing something he will stop and hold you if that's what you want.

・He just feels so safe and happy in your armssss

・Sometimes he just needs a little break, like maybe a few hours or a day to himself.

・He always feels bad about this though, he loves you more than anything and doesn't wanna push you away.

・He'd give so many hints because he doesn't wanna hurt your feelings omfg

・Eventually just tells you flat out, even though his heart is pounding.

"I just need to be alone, M/N!" "That's fine."

・He doesn't know whether to be confused or relieved, he's a mix of both.

・He misses your affection so bad wtf...

・Just wants to pick you up and cuddle while watching a movie, but he's waiting for you to make a move but you want to respect him and-

・its very confusing.

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[sunlightandsuffering]

lys random sharing lol so i had a gender & sex class today for a gig at a catholic university lol and i could just see that the kids were getting squeamish about all that talk

we were at the point of discussing how gendered roles in reproductive work are often used against women and well, how protection is so fucking important for the matter...ik nothing was sinking in their heads

so i said something like '...if you we do that, how can we embody being a smart hot girl? and hot girls are smart, so we should make smarter decisions!' aaaand i got their attention and then they became more participative in discourse 😭

i talk like that with friends and ig it just slipped out...and it just sunk in while i waz preparing for bed tonight like oml how cringy was that!!! in front of college freshmen nonetheless! they're a different breed because it's a catholic school and all, but im comforting myself with the fact that im just a few years older than them 😂

im so embarrassed now lmao anything to help them review for midterms ig

A CATHOLIC SCHOOL IS LIKE VERY BOLD OF U

I will never get over that the tampon is modelled after a penis not bc it’s like better functionality wise or bc they put any thought at all into the design but purely bc they were like yeah OBVIOUSLY it should be modelled after a penis.

BABE BE MORE CONFIDENT IN URSELF!! If u can get them to relate that’s what’s most important especially for catholic kids like out of everyone they’re most vulnerable bc they don’t believe in abortion and that stuff so it’s important they’re informed!! U did them a favour!! Bruh don’t worry tho I work with chaotic children and like THEYRE AO SAVAGE AND I STG SOMETIMES THEY HATE ME!! But u just gotta roll with it lmfao who gives a fuck what they think of u, ur not there to be their friend ur there to help them out!!

IM PROUD OF U KEEP USING THE HOT GIRL ANALOGY LOL!! Honestly I’m at the point where I love giving wisdom to the kids 😂😂 and stealing their vocabulary and using it incorrectly. Like if you don’t use protection and end up with a baby you don’t want… you’re cooked bruh

[sloppysequinz]

Hello I Am nonsednse! N I am on my riderbscnk frtom the aurpitt to my hooomd! Sorrey I xid not reportt my intoxv whiles waitingffor the plane I drankdn my lastrm seltsser beforehand pluss had some drtinks at a bart in the waitung place thing andm I wass tiol focussed on nott missingvb my flightt not losinggd my tickert and appsadting sobeer. Theres are so many sleepy etc leiple there I did note stannd ourt. And I had a carryhoun on wheels so if I swayssxv itvlolkrd like I was strugglind withh my bagfage. Very hot steaalth. I am son breavee forr ftyping this. I alsoo had a miniwinewb theyg servescd on boradds. I feltr so voood on vcloudsd. The driver was liken wow youvare stiill habkng your thx partyy bc I slurrr. Now I meltr in thee back seat. Amazinbng kinkk I am wet. I yhunk

Nonsense nonny this is sooooo hot oml 🥵 as much as I would have loved progress reports hearing the story of how stealth fucked up is 💯💯💯 omg.

Im so glad you didn’t miss your flight, and it sounds like no one found you out until your cab ride home? You’re so smart and brave indeed

I hope you keep melting and if you keep the party going I’d love to hear about it 💖

[beccmae]

I’m literally a blade of grass🤩🤩🤩

i’m literally a single blade of grass in a fucking field of flowers and shrooms and shit. nobody goes OML ITS A FUCKING BLADE OF GRASS. i’m overlooked as HELL in my school, at church, i’m public, and in my own home. but the thing is, i LOVVVWEE being a blade of grass. i love it. overlook me please. bc when i am looked at, it’s not as a flower but as a large ugly weed. “pluck her out and tear her down, she doesn’t belong here” blah blah blah u get the metaphor. what im trying to say is that i was always overlooked my whole childhood as a middle child and shit and smart little GT student. my parents never batted an eye until freshman year when my grades started to sound like ffffffffffart. i was failing every class and suddenly i was their main focus. what’s different what’s wrong what’s happening? oh lol guys. my brain is literally decomposing and im rotting on the inside because im so stressed out w being a perfect overlooked child, that i physically can’t keep an B let alone an A anymore. i have an eating disorder that you guys never noticed bc i didn’t want u to bc i didn’t want to get better and loved being overlooked esp when it came to that. but tHEN the ed started causing more problems like depression and anxiety so i had to like tell u guys or wtv smh. and then my life REALLY took a turn for THE WORST lol lol. ppl started paying ATTENTION to me. specifically my parents. they started looking into my life and found that i wasn’t so religious, smart, or as mentally stable as they had thought before. they put me into therapy, which i have been doing for years and still LOATHE. they ask me so so many questions and watch what i eat and what i weigh which i am aware is for my health but i still do not like it. i also get into arguments and disagreements left and right with my parents which never ever used to happen. i want to go back to being a blade of grass. i don’t want to be noticed anymore. being noticed has been the worst thing to ever happen to me.

anyways🤩 can someone make me a grilled cheese plssssss

[leclerc-drives-in-circles]

You were correct about the waffle thing:'-) I would feel awful, even if it was a dare hehe

<333

Im so fucking smart oml

[rudylloyd]

genius moment

[manic-misfit]

I had a terribly stressful start to my day, so she sent coffee and sweets to me at work and tbh still gonna cry about it on main cuz she’s a sweetheart and I adore her so much ;w;

[ask4mycashapp]

Izana & Mikey with a Tsukasa like s/o!!

another req from my old blog. i loved writing this so much bro <3333

Izana <3

• izana loves your personality so much

• somebody that doesnt act like a little bitch after killing someone???? sign him tf up.

• despite this, the first time it happens hes a lil bit disturbed..

• but after that?? yall are partners in crime, like bonnie and clyde type beat.

when you and izana were only about a month into dating, a smaller gang leader decided it was a good idea to try and challenge tenjikus king, your boyfriend, izana. since izana knew said gang leader was weak he declined his challenge deeming it a waste of time. this pissed the little bitch gang leader off, so once izana turned his back he tried to hit him, and that pissed you the fuck off.

"you know...," you leered, grabbing your kitchen knife, "only little bitches try to hit people when their backs are turned." and with that you jumped on him. short legs straddling him, right arm plunging the kitchen knife in and out of izanas attackers body.

izana turned around shocked, but shock soon turned into delight. his beautiful little s/o can kick ass?? hell yeah your in tenjiku now :) .

(oh and dw the body was properly disposed of <3)

• i know canonically izanas not too tall hes 5'4 but i feel like hed be taller like atleast 5'9 max 6'2

• let me dream ok

• so ur a certified arm rest for him :p

• no fr yall could be doing physically anything and this mf could just go "oh hey y/n *places arm on head*"

• and ur not even mad about it your just like "oh hey iza :D!!"

• but to sum it up ur the bonnie to his clyde and ur also his favorite little arm rest <33

Mikey <3

• ok so this kinda depends on what mikey were talking about

• for your height it probably wouldnt make a difference

• he hated when people used to make fun of his height so i cant imagine him doing it to you

• moving onto your lil episodes

• bonten mikey just wouldnt give a flying fuck, as long as you love him he couldnt care less 🤷‍♀️

mikey gave you a job to go kill some traitors with sanzu, and you... uhm.. had a lil episode.

"how" stab "dare" stab "you" stab "betray" stab "MIKEY!"

little did you know manjiro was in the doorway chomping on some dorayaki, watching you work.

when the job was done, and you saw him you immediately ran to him. you hugged him, gave him a few kisses for good measure, and took a bite out of his dorayaki bc he always gets the bestest ones <3.

mikey just wants you to love and care for him, other than that he could care less about your urges.

• but toman mikey would feel so much more comfortable with you after knowing about ur episodes

• that last one might not make any sense but let me explain

• you remember when mikey almost killed kazutora? obviously he has little black outs where he tries to kill people with no remorse too.

• so if his s/o was like that hed be able to help stop them and also connect and open up to them about his impulses!

• i feel like that makes so much sense im so smart oml

• as for height i cant think hed do anything but make u try and reach his lips for a kiss

• like he wont willingly bend so u can kiss him ur either gonna have to pull him down or get up on ur tiptoes im sorry :p

you and mikey just got home from gang activities school and youre feeling a little clingier than usual. so you and mikey were cooking dinner you asked for a kiss, just to be met with a smug mikey.

"manjiro frickin sano just bend your head down just a little bit!" you whine, trying to stir the pot and kiss him at the same time.

mikey laughs, smugly straightening his back to appear taller, "if you want a kiss so badly just get one baby im not stopping you ;p"

"MIKEY-"

"Y/N THE POT THE POT-"

• yeah so the rice was a little burnt but you and mikey both love and understand eachother in the end (burnt rice included) <3

masterpost

[startaee]

EREN, BAKUGO, SUNA AND BAJI DURING A ZOMBIE INVASION !! (separately)

really rough work- like fr just me brainstorming rn.

reblogs are appreciated !

NOTE : this was written in JAN 31st on my wattpad acc !!

zombies, suicide, murder, betrayal, mentions of blood - its really not as dark as the warnings seem- like these are just plots but im putting trigger warnings cuz like they are all a summarised version of the oneshots . trust me this is just crack fluff and a lil angst all cool👌

okay so like i just watched all of us are dead and oh my fucking god. the plot, the acting, the characters, the directing- so good. it was so good oml and while watching it, i had this thing going in the back of my head ;

how would suna be with his crush during a zombie apocalypse?

suna tbh would definitely be in the volleyball practice room and wouldve called u to watch him n stuff. so you, suna, atsumu, osamu are literally the only ones there cuz idk- u n rin just flirting and like atsumu and osamu are like so done w yall like kiss already 🙁🙁 and then yall hear this loud ass scream oml so like yall are all confused like what happened ???? and then osamu goes out to check and comes back running and locks the door so fast lmao- atsumu is literally so fucking scared u guys like shaking rn 😱😱 and suna instinctively throws himself infront of u.

so like osamu is like "guys??? remember how we were talking about what would happen if zombies were real?"

"well they are, so we gotta do smthg-" and atsumu is like bro no omg i cant die n stuff and he's legit on the verge of tears- suna whips his phone out guys 😔✋ and literally starts a fucking insta live gbye- he's like, y/n stay here its not safe. and then he's peaking out of the window and raising his phone 🤳 like "guys look there's zombies at our school omg 😱" LMAO- but no fr like the volleyball gym is the best place to be at a time like this cause it has a bathroom and food and its got this big ass steel door lmaooo so yalls are safe and suna is documenting everything w ur phone cuz his battery ran out 😋🤘

how would katsuki (school! au) be with his crush during a zombie apocalypse?

this man will make sure nobody touches him or you. he wont mind sacrificing his classmates if he has to. but you? nah he's gonna make sure he protects you till his last breath. he wants to save himself too, but you're his first priority. so if he gets bitten, he's gonna tell you that he likes you and then kword himself 😔😔😔 but like he wont make a slip up like that so he'll live w u then take u for a date after this is all done lol

how would eren (school! au) be with his crush during a zombie apocalypse?

like he was practicing in the field w two of his teammates; jean, connie and his coach; levi. so they see some ppl running and screaming- and connie, while passing the ball to him, goes "lol bro what if its a zombie apocalypse" and jean is like "then he'll definitely confess to y/n" and they laugh 😂🤨😐😶☹️

then levi is like, "oi why are you kids running? what's the problem?" and then they're all still screaming. a few seconds in, and they see a janitor with a really red lips run towards the crowd. now these 4 ppl are actually smart, so they don't wait around and run out of the school right. levi is like get in my car guys hurry up. and eren is about to- then he's like oh fuck no. so he realises you may be in the school and stuff. so he's like guys, ily gtg. and connie is like fuck man, *abt to get out cause he aint gonna let his homie die alone like that* and jean is holding him back like nah bro he finna die, you finna die, we all finna die 😔✋ so levi has given eren some hockey kit he found in his trunk? idk like kneepads and just heavy full sleeves and facegear and thick pants so that he wont get bitten and eren wears his jacket over the tee, with the thing '10' written at the back, 10 is eren's jersey number and uk that cause you always have your eyes set on him when he's playing.

so he's on his way into the school and you're like frantically searching for him at the football field and look at the school door, and see his jersey and yell so loud "EREN DONT GO !!!" and he looks back like huh??? 🤨🤨🤨 and then the way he runs to u- 😭😭😭 literally picks u up and bolts so fast 😭😭😭 cause when you screamed, you attracted a ton of zombies. and levi is waiting there, the getaway driver. connie is praying that eren comes back, w or w/o u lol. and jean is giving him the side eye cause he's an atheist lmaoo- so yeah eren comes back, holding u in bridal style and gets in the car. levi is like wait check for bites, and jean is like, yeah bro we'll give you privacy😏😏😏

and then connie is like no fr check like what if she was bitten- and u didnt even have a small blood drop- turns out that you forgot u had school and came after the third period and when you came everything was chaotic. nevertheless, you still let eren check u for bites cause like that's so important in this situation and hes like "nah she doesn't have no bites." "yet. 😏🥴😉" LMAO

and how would baji be with his crush during a zombie apocalypse?

so we all know baji is a crazy man. now he's the type of guy who will beat everyone up and protect u at the same time. but like at the end, when yall are just abt to be saved, there's just one zombie left, you're trynna get onto the helicopter and he's obviously putting u before him, and then a zombie bites him and he goes, "i really like you. since I can't take you out on a date, can you consider this the best date of your life?"

and youre like screaming like omg naurrr n stuff lmao

[dairy-farmer]

just imagining a world where everyone thinks they're Tim's first 😊

Dick falling in lust while training a brand new Robin, still fresh with grief and self-loathing after Jason (Robin is my legacy to protect)

Bruce finally caving and seeking comfort from the one that has never condescended to him while he was at his lowest (this is MY Robin and I won't let anything near the ones I care for again)

Steph trying to convince her one track mind Robin boyfriend to let his guard down... Kon being eager to teach freaky smart Tim a thing or two.... Roy??? (sidenote oml RoyTim is a fav of mine and I'd love to know your take on them!!) ... Jason stalking Tim and feeling like he has to show him how limited his trust should be (aka love me! choose me! pick me! loll) ... maybe Clark or Hal or anyone else from the JL?

just all the heroes/antiheroes maybe even villains all being like... sweet, virginal Tim... someone has to love/protect/fuck him like he deserves

and then Tim's first is actually someone no one considered... idk what's the most shocking? Robin!Jason? or Jack? maybe a babysitter or childhood friend or something

!!!!!!! oooooo YESS THIS!!! presumed virgin!tim!!!

he says stuff, like 'i'm not ready for that quite yet' or 'i don't think this is the time/place' and it makes people think he's a virgin because he puts it off so much. plus tim is so attractive, a nicely androgynous look with a sweet face so he appeals to all ends of the spectrum- there's no way he hasn't gotten offers before. but then he gives into them. and they all think they're tim's first!!!!

dick, it's when they're training. things are getting kind of hot and heavy and he's not in the best place. he's in charge of expanding tim's flexibility during his robin training and tim's doing a good job. he's making these low soft sounds as he falls deeper into a stretch and dick he....his engagement with kory has been called off. jason is in the ground, the robin mantle has been empty for awhile and now its being filled by tim and dick he...he never did this sort of thing with jason. the only time he came to the manor was to scream at bruce and then leave. he never gave jason, robin, the time of day. and it cuts deep because he created robin and then he left him to struggle. he left a robin to learn to fly on his own and now he was dead.

dick doesn't even notice he's crying, not until gently hands are wiping his tears away with a soft towel and a soft voice is fussing over him. tim's hands are so warm and soft. the palms are reddened and developing callouses so they're still a bit soft. chalk coats his palm and leve white ghost handprints on dick's dark clothing. the thing that gets to dick is how gentle tim is with him. carefully tilting his head up and patting at the tears going down dick's face. his pretty pink lips are getting bitten on as he focuses, his big doe-like eyes are blinking dark pretty lashes at him and when tim's face drifts close...dick can't help himself. he leans in for a kiss and tim freezes.

dick wants to pul back and apologize, excuse himself and beat himself up about what the fuck he was thinking in the care. he knows that depression alters a person's mental state, makes them behave and think in manners they wouldn't if they were better. dick knows he depressed even without seeing a doctor about it and its that knowledge alone that should be the reason he removes himself from the situation but he doesn't. he stays. and eventually, tim kisses him back.

dick fucks him gently on those mats. he feels tim pant and gasp against his neck, feels his his scrambling for purchasing and digging nails into the back of dick's workout shirt. dick fucks with all the contianed grief and pain he's kept inside for months. he cums into tim with a sick mix of a sob and groan and apologies spilling out of his lips like oil flowing out of his mouth. 'oh god im sorry im so sorry im so so sorry'. bruce is out with alfred for gala and they're not scheduled to return for several more hours.

tim holds him, murmurs reassurances and lets dick cry in his chest until he gets hard again. he looks up at tim with tear filled eyes.

tim stares at him the same way dick imagined jesus would look at his disciples. with tender care and understanding. dick fucks him again and he's careful, he tries to make it good, tries to draw out tim's little sounds and tender moans. when tim's head tilts back like he really likes something, dick does it again. he does it until tim arches up and clenches around him. then dick follows him.

dick hopes it was good, that tim looks back on his first time with a sobbing, trembling mess of a man and still considers it good.

---

it's after a hard night that bruce gives in.

it's been a bad week, a bad month really. case after case after case. people that bruce had put away when he'd started as batman are being put out on parole and they haven't changed at all. Arkham decided to switch security systems without informing the GCPD and now a third of the non-violent offenders were wandering through the city. organized crime was up to their usual shit but made worse with a new family from the west coast trying to branch their business into Gotham.

bruce is slipping. relapsing again. the lulling voice of the liquor locked in a cabinet is becoming too alluring. it's getting harder to get out of bed again and when he does he just feels so tired. on the streets he's hitting harder. not pulling his punches as much.

tim has been away for three days for some overnight school trip and its on the second day he was supposed to be gone that tim finds him lounging beside the batmobile in civilian clothes.

he stares at bruce, suit dirtied, knuckles wet with drying blood.

bruce expect disappointment, a shaking head like of course he couldn't be left alone, maybe even a blank stare.

instead, tim's brows furrow in worry and he shepherds bruce to the batmobile.

bruce tries asking what tim's doing when he's supposed to be away and tim waves it away, says something about the hotel the students were staying in being a short train ride away and he'd had a feeling when bruce didn't text him goodnight like he always did.

and bruce falters.

tim sensed something was wrong with him and sought him out.

he caught onto a change in bruce's behavior and out of concern for him, took a train in the middle of the night to gotham just to check on him.

he could've called and bruce would've picked up. he could've texted and bruce would've responded.

but he'd come instead.

and bruce...he...he's not sure why it fills him with so much emotion to know that tim would reach out to him like that.

bruce is sitting in the batmobile before he knows it. tim is in the passenger side and he's turning up the heating, the hot air blowing on bruce's chilled skin. tim is rubbing his hands and cupping them, blowing hot air between them and that's when bruce realizes how lightly tim is dressed. thin, blue, cotton pajama bottoms and a black zip up hoodie. he's wearing mint green crew socks tucked into the school-issue uniform sneakers.

tim's gentle hands peel the gloves off bruce's bloodied gloves and tim makes a soft mournful sound at the sight of bruce's bruised knuckles. bruce's gloves are padded and normally his hands are unscathed. it's a testament to how hard he was throwing his punches.

bruce wants to slump down in his seat. wants the clawing empty feeling in his gut to go away.

tim brushes a soft thumb over his knuckles and starts massaging his hand. tim's fingers are ice cold and he's humming a soft song as he works his fingers into the hard lines of bruce's palm.

this isn't the first time that tim has cared for him. it's not the first time that tim has chased him to make sure he wasn't hurt after a bout of recklessness. and everytime tim treats him with kindess, with care. gentle hands handling all the broken edges of bruce.

maybe it's the soft mumurs, the careful hands, or the warm air blowing on them. maybe it's the quiet of the street or the voices in th back of his head that beg him to seek some kind of relief from his pained existence.

the voices that bruce usually pays no mind to.

but that night, in the batmobile.

bruce listens.

the thin pajama pants and tim's underwear come off easily, exposing his little cunt to bruce. his hole is tight and tim gasps, hips jolting when bruce thrusts in one the fingers from the bare hand that tim peeling the glove off of. they're in the backseat, the only place in the batmobile that will allow bruce to lay tim down.

bruce doesn't want to hurt him. he doesn't.

he takes his time and stretches tim's pussy out carefully. he rips packets of lube and slips on a condom that he usually carries around in case he meets selina.

he doesn't think he can ever carry them around without thinking of how hot and tight tim was when he first pressed in. he felt the batears getting grabbed by tim's hands as bruce pressed in, sinking as much as he could until he bottomed out.

bruce has never fucked with the cowl on. he always had to take it off because no one wanted batman, they didn't care for him not like how bruce did. everyone wanted him to be bruce more than they wanted him to be batman even though bruce was weak. bruce was pathetic. bruce gave into his impulses.

bruce was fucking tim but wearing the face of the bat.

the bat that tim had done everything he could to save.

sacrificing his body, his mind- giving everything he could to batman and still offering more.

tim cums quickly. bruce's fingers on his clit squeeze pleasure out of him and groan at the tight vice of his cunt around his cock.

bruce fucks short, hard thrusts into tim until he's spilling into the condom.

he heaves his breathes and looks down at tim whose hair is spread around him like a halo and whose eyes are so bright and glittering as they stare at bruce with adoration.

"batman" he murmurs softly, awe in his voice as his gentle hand strokes down the side of bruce's cowl and reaches his cheek, cupping it.

even without a mask, without his suit. bruce knows without a doubt that person lying under him is robin.

his robin.

---

yes!!! to all your other suggestions as well!!!!!

kon and tim grow close as friends and i can definitly imagine them cleaning up after a Titan's celebration. it's just them, they're a little tipsy and kon invites tim back to his room half as a joke and half serious but then tim says yes.

----

roy and tim would cross paths because they have mutual contacts. i think jason would give tim roy's number as a contact for someone who can do discreet work and has a hell of a mind for reverse engineering weapons. and tim. stumbles across what seems like an alien gun for one of his cases and he remembers roy's number. and tim ends up in the middle of this studio watching as his expertly dismantles this thing tim hasn't been able to figure out for week. and tim gets...excited. he's always had a thing for competence. and roy takes note of his red cheeks, his darting eyes following the lines of his tattoos and muscles and he...well he shows off a little for the kid. flexes, gives him the look and is filled with amusement when the little robin stutters and gets flustered.

someone it ends up with roy's pants undone, fly down, and jeans lowered to just under his ass as he fucked a gasping, squirming little baby bird on his work bench. roy can't fumble out a condom in time and ends up spilling a load in jay birds kid brother and between a mind numbing orgasm all he can feel is a mix of panicked fear and pride at the fact that he'll die for taking tiny tim's virginity.

side note I LOVE roytim!!!! fics on it are so rare but i think i've read about all of them. the most hilarious scene i can recall is this one where jason walks in on tim and roy making out:

“You really did get hit in the head.”

Roy reared back so sharply he might’ve pulled something, narrowly avoiding getting hit in the face with the controller Tim was still holding in the hand not currently dislodging his hair from his scalp. Ow.

Jason looked supremely unimpressed, where he stood in the doorway with his arms folded.

“Not that I’d expect you to be a shining paragon of morality, Harper, but really? The feeble and infirm? That’s low, even for you.”

He was at least ninety-nine percent likely to be armed, Roy realized. Probably more, since the big bat was out of town. This was the day he would die.

“Alright, up you get. Let’s go, one on one, square up.” Jason slipped into a ready stance, as Cassandra peeked around the doorframe."

-From Guns For Hire, Shoot You With Desire by chronicallyHaughty

----

jason's a bit unique where i think it would happen after they've developed a more stable relationship. one where they're more brotherly than enemies which makes jason feel all kinds of awkward when he finds himself stalking tim.

finding out where he hangs out and with who. who he's seeing if he's seeing anyone.

jason clenches his fists and watches as some douchebag 'bro' takes his brother out on a date and trys planting a fat wet one on him without even waiting for dessert.

it's not planned. jason would like for that much to be on record. he wasn't creeping on timmy and trying to manipulate him or take advantage of him at his lowest like he was an injured water buffalo.

it's after a hard patrol and they've retreated to jason's apartment. jason has sent the kid off for a shower and offered he bed for the night so he doesn't crash his bike while trying to nurse his injuries. he comes out smelling like jason's dollar store shampoo and bodywash, he's in an old muscle tee that shows off the edge of his little tits and a pair of old boxers so big they're basically falling off.

tim helps wrap jason's injuries after he'd has his turn in the shower and they're so close. the smell of disinfectant between them and the quiet snip of bandages being cut with a pair of shears.

they both down a few painkillers and something to help them rest easy and then they look up and stare at each other's eyes and...

jason feels a bit guilty that the kid's first time is on a ratty couch in the middle of jason's living room. it's sloppy and uncoordinated and they're both being so careful trying not to jostle the other's injuries. jason's orgasm is followed by the startled gasp of tim and the realization that he's popped a stitch. tim cums covered in jason's blood and tilting his head back to show off the expanse of his white throat the reddened line of the scar cutting across it.

they pant together, both wincing occasionally and trying to drowsily sew jason back together before the shit they took for sleep kicks in and knocks them both out before they can finish.

it does they wake up to tim's pussy leaking jason's cum and part of the mess dried on his inner thighs and crusty blood from jason's cut painting both them and the couch.

tim helps him clean up and jason awkwardly apologizes for the mess (both of them).

but tim just smiles and shyly looks away before saying it was fine. tim still had a good time.

and jason....shit jason believes him.

---

any members of the justice league i feel would definitly do it with tim on an outerspace mission where batman isn't there.

a sort of 'fuck or i'll die situation'.

maybe a ritual on an alien planet. getting infected with spores. something where the leaguer is in the position of either having to fuck batman's protege or letting him die and being the one to tell batman about it.

and they do it. because they're the senior officer on the mission and robin is their responsibility so they'll do it in order to get him back saefly and mostly unharmed.

they'll apologize the whole time. tell tim he can close his eyes and imagine someone else. and tim reassures them the whole time. tell them he understands and its alright, it's alright he knows why they're doing it.

they never tell batman. they omit the detail about taking robin's virginity on the mission and they tell no one, not their friends, not other leaguers, not their spouses. they keep it between them and they're not sure if what they feel is guilt when they remember how tim sobbed under them, gasping and arching and taking them so well.

some nights they dream and they remember the pretty twist of tim's face, the way his wet mouth had parted, the sloppy wetness gushing from his pussy, the gutted 'hhnn hnnnn nngh' sounds that sang out of him.

they keep it to themselves and they never tell a soul.

until some magic shit happens because it's always fucking magic.

multidimensional collapses, the universe is folding in on itself blah blah blah.

they need a lamb, a stand-in sacrifice that meets specific requirements for purity of heart or some nonsense. it turns out the third robin fits the bill perfectly for milestones and title achievements. so constantine, zatanna, and a few others raid the kid's childhood bedroom looking for ingredients.

they manage to dig out some first bone (baby teeth), the blood of a beloved 'friend' (stuffing from an old teddy bear), as well as a bunch of other 'technically correct' things that register as acceptable for standards of magic but they need a final thing.

'essence of virgin' would usually just mean blood taken from a person who has never had their blood involved in a magic ritual before. but red robin is friends with lots of magic users and his virgin ritual blood has long been used up.

in which case they would need the blood of another person to serve as a replacement.

the blood of the person he first exchanged essences with.

and the leaguer freezes along with the rest of the room at zatanna's careful phrasing.

constantine is nowhere near as delicate when he clarifies that she means they need the blood of the person the kid first orgasmed with.

exhange of 'essences' and all that.

and the leaguer is already saying his prayers, hoping batman will at least let him explain first.

instead. red robin just lets out a short 'oh!' followed by a 'i think i have his number, hold on let me text him'.

and that's when they find out about red robin's favorite counselor from summer camp.

"you lost your virginity to him?"

nightwing's voice is tensed and there's a line in his body that promises retribution as red robin pulls up old photos of (much too young) himself getting his cheek kissed by some sun-tanned, blond-haired teenager that looked like a future frat boy.

"huh?" red robin replied with confusion, head tilted with so much innocent confusion. "no? constantine said the first one i exchanged essences with? he's just the first person that ever made me cum."

the leaguer nearly guffaws with the frankness and a look around the room reveals that a lot of people are as taken aback by the news.

xxxx

i made a thread earlier today about tim having fucked his summer camp counselors and while writing this it still hadn't left my head 😩😩😩

i couldn't come up with a more in depth ending but i hope this small snippet of how i think it played out was alright!!!!

i LOVED the prompt, the drama, the stress, the want, and then an ultimate reveal!!! it was amazing!!! thank you so much for sending it in!!!! <33333333

[weird-bookworm]

tysm for the tag rania!! <33

bias list:

rm (bts)

jin (bts)

soobin (txt)

jake (enhypen)

ni-ki (enhypen)

chan (skz)

vernon (svt)

ej (&team)

wooyoung (ateez)

jaehyun (bnd)

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

noni might be my pfp and the reason i am delulu, but i became and engene first, so i biased ni-ki first! (well technically speaking i don't have an enha bias but him and jake always stand out so...vernon? idk lol)

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

well. fuck. jin was my first bias in the entirety of k-pop actually, so naturally the answer is him, but it kinda hurts to admit this because i've been sad all day and just really missing chan and i need a Chan Big Hug™

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

i love bin, i really do, but the answer will have to be joonie— we're actually really similar if we don't take into account how smart he is, and also he speaks english so easier communication hehe. i think the two of us would just visit someplace with lots of plants? he loves nature, i love nature, it's a simple choice really

4. what is your favourite physical feature about 9?

hehehehe his smile oml it's so mischievous but also so cute like?? damn bro chill because you know mf will smirk right after

5. what is your favourite part of 6's personality?

no. 6 is chan. this is gonna take a long day if we go over everything i like about him, so we're gonna stick to one thing— the question is what. i'll have to say, his comfort. that guy is comfort personified, and no one can argue with me on that. i feel at peace just thinking about him. he's his kids dad, he's his team's leader, and for me, he'a cool breeze on a hot summer day. i'd say more but i really don't have words...

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

i'll be honest, i'm a terrible lune. i don't really know much about any of the members, not even ej, but if i had to tell him something, i'd thank him— for not giving up, for taking the position of leader, and for making great music (and that i do love him).

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

lmaooo pls my options are joon and jin and i think the answer is very obvious. jin's an icon, really, but i thought of him showing up in that full white performance outfit at the airport once and oof, no thanks (gimme some of our hoodies tho)! joon's style is simpler and comfier for me. as a matter of fact, i think many of my clothes actually have very similar vibes as his clothes hmm

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

i would say smth along the lines of me wanting him to try sexy stuff and use his giant body but honestly? i'm kinda in love with soft binnie. debut era and blue hour are some of my fav looks on him.

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

jake omfg niki is a fucking giant even tho jake also towers over me with a solid 8 cm lol

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

i haven't heard either of their music enough to really answer that actually...i love ateez's overall darker concept and it's an entire vibe but i also love bnd's softer lighter concept so no, i shall not be answering this question lol

tagging: later im tired

— bias tag game *ੈ✩‧₊˚

rules: you're going to pick 10 of your biases (or as many biases as you have and then fill in the rest of the spots with idols you like) and number them 1-10. then answer the questions below! try not to look at the questions before you make your list!

thank you @fairyhaos for the tag &lt;3

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

rania's bias list:

seungkwan (svt)

wheein (mamamoo)

jeonghan (svt)

wonwoo (svt)

hoshi (svt)

jun (svt)

seulgi (red velvet)

yunjin (le sserafim)

soobin (txt)

lee know (skz)

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

1. between 7 and 5, who did you bias first?

i biased my girl seulgi first :> i started stanning red velvet in between peek-a-boo and bad boy era and i literally love her sm i gay panic whenever i see her and she's so cute and quirky i fell in love instantly !!!

2. between 2 and 6, who are you more attached to?

umm,,, how dare u give me this question rn. wheein has been my ult for the past 5-6 years and i feel like i can declare us as a v chill married couple lmfao and i love her w all my heart. but tbh jun has grown so much on me and finally putting him in my bias line is just ugh <3 <3 got my heart flippin and feet kickin (it doesn't help i have like,, a lot of ideas for him in terms of wips)

3. if you were to spend the day with either 3 or 1, who would you choose and what would you do?

again... what the hell U R MAKING ME CHOOSE BETWEEN MY TOP BIASES IN SVT?? absolute insanity. ugh,, okay jeonghan ily babe but i gotta go with my fav boy seungkwan <3 i feel like he'll take me out of my comfort zone n just take me out to places n just be the most supportive person ever. like i can imagine our arms locked together while walking down the avenue or sum idfk

4. what is your favorite physical feature about 9?

his MF DIMPLES OFC. i have such a thing w dimples on my biases its actually so funny

5. what is your favorite part of 6's personality?

i just,, i love jun's quirkiness and awkwardness sometimes i always swoon over him <3 he may be quiet at times but he's such a big source of strength for not just me but for all his members. i get why they all love him sm

6. if you were to tell 8 anything you wanted, what would you tell them?

my gf yunjin KEEP BEING YOU MA'AM. do whatever you want that makes you happy. you're such a big inspo to me and so funny and talented and beautiful and all those synonyms i cannot grasp how much i love her

7. between 1 and 2, whose closet would you raid?

ohhhhh definitely wheein. our styles r very similar and honestly she's the reason why my style is like this to this day!! she has such unique fashion taste and omfg i'd love to raid clothing stores w her. altho i'd rlly love to steal some of seungkwan's sweaters,,,,...

8. what is a style that you want to see 3 try?

omfgomfg uhhh honestly jeonghan can literally pull off any damn style he wants, and im too scatterbrained rn to think of a specific style. i love his soft boy looks tho n the style/clothing he wore in berlin got me feeling some type of way yk IT SUITS HIM SO MUCH

9. between 5 and 4, who are you closer to in height?

hoshi LMAOO even tho there's barely a difference between him and wonu. they'll both still tower over me tho im only like 158cm fml

10. between 10 and 9, whose music do you like the best?

soobin n txt! i love their discography so much. some of skz songs r just not my style and i can rlly only listen to them when i'm feeling that kind of energy yk. still love them tho ofc

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

tagging (no pressure!): @slytherinshua @itadorins @hannyoontify @wqnwoos @icyminghao @etherealyoungk @blue-jisungs @mirxzii @yeonjuns-redhair @rubywonu @ylliris-hanniehae @rubyreduji @toruro @weird-bookworm @planetkiimchi

[pretentious-clownery]

join me as i watch the lego batman movie for the first time (yes i’m late but fuck you)

JOKER I LOVE YOU

why did i recognize the calendar man bc of starkid-

“but all i’m getting is this hold music!i love it” YES

the joker is gay say it with me

wiat why do we give a ahit about the mayor

OH AHIT ITS BRUCE WAYNE-I MEAN BATMAN

“always bet on black”-batman whilst wearing a blonde wig,not surprised tbh

WHY IS BATMAN AND THE JOKER SO GAY

LIKE THE WHOLE “i’m fine with you fighting other people but-“ THEYRE BOYFRIENDS

“are you saying there nothing special about our relationship” JESUS CHRIST THEYRE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT

petition to have superhero movies all be lego

j bird is my official name for the joker now

“batman doenst do ships” bitch tell that to your fandom

“there is no us” “batman and joker are not a thing “ THE WAY THE JOKER SHAKES HIS HEAD AND TEARS UP

GIVE THIS CRIMINAL A HUG

“i don’t need you” HE NEEDS YOU THO BATS ,WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UO WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND

“you mean nothing to me” JOKERS LIPS QUIVERING IM GONNA CRY HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH

i’m 12 minutes in i-

i like to think that while everyone is praising batman joker is crying to taylor swift

“i love you more than my kids “ i didn’t know my parents were in this movie

why did i think when he asked where the orphanage was that he was gonna either set it on fire or beat up the orphans-

IS THAT ROBIN

“take care of your abs” gonna write that on my wall

aw the kid with the glasses that i think is robin didn’t get anything but still loves the rich asshole

“what’s the password “ “iron man sucks” THEY WENT THERE AND I LOVE THEM FOR THAT

i mean i agree

did he pull that out is his pocket??

is he wearing a fucking THONG

why is the lighting so good it’s a fucking lego movie

ok but the silence after the loud atmosphere to show his loneliness is so good and smart??

is he laughing at what i think is a sad scene

batman honey you can take off your mask y’know

like you’re at your house you can be yourself

hes talking to his parents aw

DID HE KICK ALFRED INTO THE FUCKING PIANO BY ACCIDENT??

JESUS CHRIST THAT GIVES ME A BIGGER REASON TO BE AFRAID OF HIM

why is this so fuxking meta i love it

“don’t you think it’s time to face your greatest fear?” ”snakes?” “ no” “clowns?” “no”

batman how are you afraid of your boyfriend

SNAKE CLOWNS OML

“nope now it’s snake clowns bc you put that idea in my head” same

“you’re gonna have a great time!” “nonono” “you might meet some new people “ “nonono” “you could even make some new friends!” “nONONONONONONO-“ why is this me

did he beatbox no

OML TUXEDO DRESSING PARTY

the only party i wnat to go to honestly

why do all of his tuxedos really suck

“superman gets it,why can’t batman” *sinks into his chair* your honour give him a hug

“you deserve better than batman” HARLEY BE SPEAKING FACTS

joker is so upset

joker would like olivia rodrigo and blast good 4 u and favorite crime CHANGE MY MF MIND

WHY IS VOLDY THERE

oh god what’s his idea

“he’s the greatest orphan of all time!” why is he actually right

in every batman movie we see his parents die

he’s become an orphan so many times it’s ridiculous

“i’m just so jazzed to meet you”

JAZZED??

oml bruce just said it

robin with eyeliner oml

BRUCE YOU HAVE A BF WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT

ok she’s badass

IS THE JOKER ACTUALLY SURRENDERING WAIT

“apapapapapapa” “you run and i catch you” theyre boyfriends carol

“you were right.there is no us” in any other movie this would be an emotional scene but in this movie it’s a VERY EMOTIONAL scene

but joker is right

his plans often have a back up taht is literally him getting captured so why not just surrender

is he actually saying blink

why do i love him and kinda relate to him

“i just wanna go to arkham and pay for all my crimes” bitch who are you trying to fool

still love him

“BLINK BLINK BLINK BLINK BLINK BLINK-“

joker is an anime girl confirmed

“i’m of the menu! you won’t get to fight *this* anymore” is he calling himself a snack

“riddle me this!WHAT JUST HAPPENED” i love the riddler

OK WIAT EVERYTHING WHEN DARK BC NOTHING MATTERS TO HIM BUT THE POLICE CAR WITH THE JOKER AND JOKER HIMSELF ARE STILL COLORFUL

DO I SENSE THAT BATMAN ACTUALLY DOES LOVE JOKER BUT SIMPLY JUST IS IN DEEP DENIAL HMM??

“no more crime!” are they actually that stupid? do they really think that all crime is over? even though someone new could spawn ??

aw the soft music when it shows robin being adorable and bruce realizing he has to raise him is actually so wholesome

“and i must say,i’ve grown rather fond of the young lad” same alfred,same

he’s saying hello to the table protect this angel at all costs

“i’ve always wanted one of those” can i give him a hug

i love robin sm

“don’t call me dad” “okay papa”

HE CALLED HIM DAD AND BATMAN DIDNT OBJECT TO IT IM GONNA CRY

he’s proud of him i’m actually going to cry

DAMMIT YOU RUINED IT

harley is such a queen

JESUS THEY ACTUALLY BROUGHT ALL THE VILLAINS I

VOLDYS HERE

“with an eye for jewellery” y e s

NO SHIT THEYRE POWERFUL

“ask your nerd friends” what if you are the nerd friend

“actually this is pretty terrifying bat-dad” i love him so fucking much

“where’s homeboys bat cave” i wnat this on my wall

“are you trying to tell me bruce wayne is batman

‘s roommate?” I LOVE THIS SM

“i’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff” “we’re gonna have to rename this the butt-mobile” why is he like this

YES ALFRED JOIN THEM

unironically alfred is such a fucking badass

them dissing suicide squad i love it

bitvh there was an entire trilogy to destroy sauron you do not have time to destroy it NOW

his autopilot oml

HE CALLED ALFRED GRANDPA IM GONNA CRY

“endgame is the biggest crossover” what’s THIS THEN HMM

NO

NO ALFRED CANT DIE

oh thank gods

alfreda british insults are iconic

“have you realized you have never said the words i hate you joker?”

mf they’re not even trying to hide it are they

WHY IS THIS SO GAY

LIKE WHO GAVE THEM THE RIGHT

THEYRE CHEERING FOR THEM SAME

they’re all invited to the wedding

“i’m not gonna be part of a one sided relationship any longer!” OH STRAIGHT UP JUST SAYING-OK GOT IT

harley and joker being gay best friends is what we deserved all this time

ok that light bitch is speaking facts

batman ,while not being a bad guy,he really isn’t great either

HIM TAKING THE NIGHTWING SUIT YES

him and robin bonding in their own way aw <3

THE CLASSIC FIGHT SOUND AFFECTS YES

“winguediam leviosHUT UP!” love that

“GET OFF MY PADRE” YOU TELL EM DICK

“the most powerful weapon at all,shredded abs”

“if there’s no gotham,then i’ll never get to fight you again “ he really knows how to change his mind huh

HIM LISTING ALL THE TJONGS THE JOKER IS THE REASON FOR IS ODDLY TOUCHING??

“and if it wasn’t for you,i never would have learned how connected i am with all these people.

and you”

brb gonna go SOB

“you’ll help me save us” theyre in love

“you just said us”

y’all

why do i have a new ship

“you had me at shut up” YES

my new wallpaper

then having to take off their hairs to connect is actually a fun detail

eXCUSE ME THAT IS *VERY* CLOSE

HE SAID THAT HE HATES HIM AWW

“i hate you too” “i hate you more” “i hate you the most” “i hate you forever” GET A ROOM

NO BATMAN STAY WITH YOUR BF AND SON

“my two dads are the same dad! but they’re both leaving…” i’m gonna cry

ok bruce talking about how losing people is part of life and how you need to let people in no matter what is just so meaningful and i love this sm

THANK YOU FOR SAYING PLATONIC

NO HE HAS TO SAY WITH HIS SON PLS NO

THEYRE HUGGING

NO YOURE GONNA CRY SHUT UP

all of the villains watching him ascend oml

DID HE GET REJECTED YAY

THEYRE ALL BONDING YES

“holy family photo batman we did it!” YES

him calling him dad yes

the credits YES

alfred playing the guitar >>

“i really hope this thing wasn’t recording “ oh boy do i have some news

NOOO ITS OVER WHYYY