#im so fond of it bc of all the memories there and like i'd love to like. actually be a death school student

[archangeldyke-all]

Oooo i have a cowboy sevika ask if you want it 🤲 okay so what if sevika is telling vi or jinx or both a story from one of her outlaw days and reader catches her and is like bro you can not be telling our rambunctious kids about those days bc they are crazy and will just turn around and do that shit…and sev is like but they think im cool now.

yk what i’m sayin? i hope that made sense anyways do whatever ya want I love cowboy sevika so so so much!!

this is so cute GOD

men and minors dni

this weekend, your kid-load has doubled.

caitlyn rode up to visit vi, and benzo asked you to watch after ekko while he takes care of some business a few towns over. it's been great fun. caitlyn and ekko, unlike your own children, have house-manners. ekko's been a huge help keeping the tavern tidy, and cait's been great help in the garden.

what's even better is watching your girls interact with their respective crushes. vi and cait have finally made it out of the awkward giggly phase, and now they're bickering like an old couple at only sixteen. jinx and ekko are still young enough to not quite understand why they like hanging out so much, but you think jinx is starting to get a hint. she's been blushing almost all weekend.

besides your future children-in-laws, you've only got one guest staying in the inn this weekend. you've just finished changing out the sheets and refreshing the water pitchers in their room when you march downstairs to the tavern; only to find your regular ran sneaking behind the bar to make themselves a drink.

"hey!" you shout. ran scurries away guiltily, and you chuckle. "just 'cause you're here most nights doesn't mean you're allowed behind the bar."

"you were taking too long!" they pout. you giggle.

"you couldn't just ask sev?"

ran chuckles and trades you a few coins for the glass you pour for them. "she's busy recounting the 'old days' to your kids." they say, gesturing to where your wife's tucked in a booth with all four of the kids. you groan.

"fuck. that's never good."

"wait! leave the bottle, and gimmie another glass! mel's meetin' me here and she'll need a drink."

you raise an eyebrow at ran, giggling as they blush. looks like your kids aren't the only ones hanging out with their crushes this weekend. "here." you slide a glass and bottle across the bar. you go to run over to your family's booth, before freezing and turning back around to ran. "which story is she telling?"

"something about a bank robbery?"

"oh, fuck!" you whine, sprinting over to the booth, flipping ran off as they cackle.

"...so i hop on shimmers back-- but i'd loaded her up with so many gold bars she almost collapsed when i got on top. she was in no shape to run, and somebody from inside the bank started shootin' at us, so i hop back off, tell shimmer to scram, and then i start running for my fuckin' life--"

"sevika!" you cut in.

five pairs of wide, excited eyes shoot up to look at you. you groan.

jinx is vibrating in excitement at sevika's words, vi's deep in contemplation, like she's trying to plan her own bank robbery, and ekko and cait are staring at sevika with stars in their eyes like they've just met santa claus.

"hey, darlin'." sevika grins up at you, her eyes glittering with fond memories.

you shake your head at her. "you remember that talk we had about family-friendly stories?" you ask.

jinx groans from her seat. "oh c'mon! sevika doesn't have family friendly stories!"

"and she's got so many good adult ones!" vi adds on.

you groan. "you realize you're actively incriminating yourself each time you recount these stories to someone?"

sevika cackles. "oh, c'mon, doll! ekko and cait won't rat on me, right kids?" she asks.

ekko crosses his heart, and caitlyn gasps. "no, never!"

"sevika's the coolest woman in the entire desert!" ekko shouts. you roll your eyes.

"okay, ekko, i take offense to that." you say. ekko laughs.

"me too." jinx huffs.

cait giggles. "you're not a woman yet, jinx."

"yeah, but only because i haven't pulled off a successful bank robbery yet. once i accomplish that i'll be a real grown up."

"no, see, this is what we're trying to avoid!" you whine, smacking sevika's shoulder. she giggles, pulling you down into her lap and peppering kisses on your neck as you rant. "jinx, womanhood has nothing to do with crime."

"not if you're boring." jinx mutters.

"wh-- y-you-- fuck off! tell 'em how the story ends, sev." you demand, smacking your wife's shoulder. she perks up.

"really?!" she asks. you nod, and all your kids grin in excitement. "okay, okay. so. i'm fuckin' bookin' it down mainstreet, there's at least six people shootin' at me, and i'm praying to everything holy that shimmer knows to meet me back at camp." sevika pauses to take a sip of her beer, and cait squeals.

"so, what happened?!"

you can't help but smile a bit.

sevika chuckles and takes a breath. "i got my ass outta dodge and spent the entire night hiking back to my campsite. by the time i got there, i was cold, hungry, and ready to sleep for two weeks."

"was shimmer there?" vi gasps.

sevika chuckles. "'course she was. shimmer's smarter than all of us combined."

"and the gold?" ekko asks. sevika grins.

"made almost a quarter of a million once i melted it down and distributed it."

"that's amazing!" vi shouts.

you elbow sevika. "tell them the real end."

sevika huffs. your kids blink in confusion.

"that wasn't the end?"

"no, that wasn't the end." you say. "what sevika conveniently forgot to mention was the fact that she had not one, not two, but three gunshot wounds. the only reason she lived to trade that gold in was 'cause she ditched it at camp and rode shimmer back here to me. she nearly fuckin' bled out. spent three days asleep upstairs."

you feel a little bad for the way all the fun is sucked out of the conversation. but, you don't regret it. it was the worst week of your life, nursing her back to health like that only for her to ride back out the moment she was healed.

"'s why my arm's so fucked. there's casings embedded all over my left shoulder." sevika says. "woulda died if my baby didn't know how to cauterize a wound."

"and do chest compressions."

sevika gulps behind you. "y-you did?" she asks. you nod.

"what, you didn't know?" you ask.

she shrugs, tears welling up in her eyes. "'s all a blur. i stopped breathing?"

"for the worst five minutes of my fucking life." you say with a nod.

sevika blinks up at you, her love and affection for you evident in her gaze. "you saved my life?" she asks. you're interrupted before you can speak.

"that. is so. fucking. cool!" ekko shouts. you burst into surprised laughter, blinking away from your wife to look at your kids.

their looks of awestruck wonder all shifted from sevika to you. you chuckle.

"what the hell is 'cauterize?' and how do you do it?!" jinx asks, an excited gleam in her eye.

"how much blood did you have to clean?" vi asks with a fascinated look.

"ooooh, yeah, how much blood was there?" cait asks.

sevika nudges her beer against your hand and you snort, kissing her cheek before taking a big gulp.

you let out a little burp, then speak. "alright, one question at a time. and you gotta remember: this was all the consequence of sevika's dumbass bank robbery."

"it was a flawless plan!" sevika whines.

"flawless if you're trying to get killed." ekko scoffs. the kids cackle.

"okay, start with the blood! how much blood was there" jinx demands, tugging at your hand.

you giggle and shrug. "i dunno. a shit ton?" you guess. your kids burst into excited giggles, and sevika presses her smile against your shoulder.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3

[misc-obeyme]

The way that im approaching the "father's love" thing is just that like. Lots of people with abusive parents have a really complicated relationship with them bc, unless they're cartoonishly evil, there are probably SOME positive memories associated with that parent. Since the fall is more of a fresh wound in NB, Lucifer probably hasn't processed his emotions around it so he's still trying to navigate his contradictory feelings towards his father. (Thus, he's a lot easier to manipulate in that way. From Father's pov, it's in his best interest for Lucifer to not hate him since he's in a more powerful position than expected, so I think he set this up while intending from the beginning to "rescue" him.)

Do I think that's what the devs had in mind? No. But it's the story I'm telling myself lmao

Ah, anon, you're right, I keep forgetting how recent the fall is in NB. Lucifer hasn't had a lot of time to deal with how he really feels. And he likely does have some lingering love for Father... and that would make it easier for him to forgive Father now, most likely.

Certainly the devs never have this level of nuance in mind. I don't think the writers put in anywhere near as much thought as we do when it comes to this kind of thing. It could very well just have been oh wouldn't it be cool if Lucifer transformed into an angel at this part? Sometimes they just get on my nerves with their nonsense lol.

Anyway, it does help to think about it in the context of Lucifer's recent move away from his Father. I suspect it's hardest at the beginning, when you haven't been separated from that abuse for very long. Then to have them come around and be like I forgive you? Yeah, okay. I can see why Lucifer might be willing to accept that.

Though I think it's interesting because Lucifer wasn't like okay yeah I'm ready to go back. He's still saying the Devildom is home. So Father didn't succeed if he's expecting Lucifer to come back on his own.

So maybe Father was tapping into those fond memories of Lucifer's, but it still wasn't enough.

I kinda like that, actually. Lucifer's still recovering, he's allowed to be a weirdo about Father's love for a bit, I suppose. Though I don't think I personally would be able to hear him say stuff like that and just let it go. I'd be like listen, I understand that you're going through it right now, but are you sure that's how you should be feeling about all of this?

Lucifer frustrates me because he always seems to be so convinced that his way is the right way. And I want him to consider that perhaps he's wrong, at least about this.

[technofinch]

hiiiiii could i see multiples of 3 for mulligan? that guy is Intriguing 2 me :)

ok there are a Lot of questions here so i'm gonna do my best to keep them short & sweet!

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

his childhood kinda sucked! grew up quite poor on a shitty planet, his mom always wanted more kids but never got them, his dad was kind of a hardass and worked in a mine like 17 hours a day. he started drinking in his early teens to cope with... all that, so he doesn't have a ton of memories either way lmao.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

he did surprisingly well in school, especially in the more technical classes/math/history. not well enough to get actual scholarships or anything, so he ended up enlisting in the marines to get a higher education, which is where he learned that the marines Fucking Suck!

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

im gonna be real with you homeboy has seen like 2 animals in his life and one of them is a dog that is his mortal enemy (Mr Cuddles) and one is a mostly-cat that he rarely sees so. i'd say he's Pretty Bad With Animals

12. What is their favorite food?

will never admit it but it's children's breakfast cereals. the ones that are like 90% sugar

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

he's good at a very specific type of cooking, which is to say, making meals out of the kind of ingredients you have for a long-term deep space voyage. he loves it, but wouldn't know what to do with an Actual Kitchen and exotic things like Fresh Vegetables. the others aren't particularly impressed by it, but they indulge him - it's an important ritual for him and it makes him feel useful :3

18. What’s their favorite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

hmmm... mulligan doesn't experience a lot of Media, when he does it's usually just catching up on sports to have something to talk about with the other Guys™ at the loading docks. iirc he has canonically played team fortress 2 tho

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

he very much has a temper, i would never describe him as "patient" but his anger can be overridden by fear, especially in confrontations with his superiors. he mostly just yells at people and gets it out of his system, if it's something big he'll carry a grudge and continue to make snippy comments until someone calls him on it

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

his sleeping pattern is "not unless absolutely necessary," excluding cryosleep he gets about half the sleep a regular human needs :/ preferred sleeping situation is a hammock, but he's most familiar with thin awful mattresses

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

mulligan is way more likely to be angry/resigned/scared than Sad, and i don't think he's cried in a long time. in that situation he would probably flee and hole up like a wounded animal waiting to die until he could successfully bottle the emotion back up

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

he pretty much has to be forced to keep up with his mandatory exercises, luckily the ship's doctor is (was :( ) very good at her job and kept him on track despite his bitching. he does get notably happier post-workout, but if you point this out to him he'll say it's bc it's over lmao

question 33 intentionally omitted <3

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

he's good at drawing, especially still lifes, but he doesn't do it much or think of it as a hobby. he also plays harmonica, which he is bad at, and does consider a hobby. he can sing, but the only songs he really knows are ones he learned from his mother, so he doesn't

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

call the man. he wants to hear your voice. hand-written letters are basically non-existent in the setting, but he rarely checks his email/texts. just call him. leave a voicemail if you must.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

number one goal is to Survive Another Day, subgoal Don't Kill Anyone. he's not a very ambitious person, like, at all. he would however sacrifice anything to keep his crew safe. he feels a Lot of responsibility towards them, even though he knows most of them are more competent than he is lmao. his secret ambition is to overthrow capitalism and start a commune, however, he also thinks this is stupid.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

in my mind, other people see mulligan as kind of an uncomfortably intelligent dog. just smart enough to get into trouble but will pretty much do what you ask him to do. deficiency of critical thinking and ambition. multiple npcs offered to help him fake his death and quit his job and he did not understand Why they all wanted him to do that.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organize the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

in the academy he enjoyed parties for the booze, mostly showing up to one he wasn't invited to, but after he stopped drinking he pretty much stopped going to parties, and after graduating he really stopped being in groups of more than, like, 10 people who all live together anyway. he does occasionally organize the mandatory crew bonding nights, where he gets everyone together to play dumb party games like never-have-i-ever and watch their vhs cops of home alone 2: lost in new york

[flamechasr]

5 (yukari) + 12 (kaveh) + 23 (ayumu) + 30 + 46 (zizel) !!

(5) — a memory with family / those you considered family

YUKARI ; i guess this is for S.E.E.S. my feelings for them were very mixed for a while, only because i didn't really want to be in that situation and just made it an excuse to escape other problems. there was a time though that i felt like, huh, i could really treat these people as my family, and i did just that. because the fact is we were all losers and outcasts in some way, and in a twisted sense i felt as if i had found my people. sure, some of them were pretty hard to deal with, but it's times better than what i had and... hey what do you know, saving the world is a family activity! i'm glad i walked the path i did with all those guys.

(12) — a memory of home

heavy warning // KAVEH ; wow ok see, i. also had extremely mixed feelings about my home. i mean, i think i had a pretty good life there, for what it was worth. my parents loved me, and i loved them too. when dad died and mom spiraled, i was only 10. i still had my drawings of us on the walls, but i tore them down for mom's sake. she left when i was 12 because she saw her husband in me and couldn't bear it, i dyed my hair but nothing worked, so i let her go. i could deal with my own grief, but i can't bear to see her like that. the house felt so empty every time i came back to it, and, well, what's a home without the people in it? some might judge me for selling it for quick money but 'home' has always been a fond memory, not a building. if i could, i'd want mom and dad in the family room with me again, but it's a distant image at this point haha. besides, i found a new home with my person, so it's not all that bad.

(23) — first memory you can recall

AYUMU ; volunteering at the animal shelter with yuu-chan! there was this cute pair of rabbits that looked so cute but were so fierce, they nearly bit my hand off rbbdkfd... it's that orr seeing myself on tv for the first time, maybe. it's just such a surreal experience seeing yourself being aired to everyone across the country like is this real life?? i always struggled with confidence so i also saw it as a significant startup in my path as an idol! nothing would hold me back anymore !!!

(30) — someone you didn't expect to kin and/or someone you knew you would kin immediately

someone i knew i would kin immediately is kokomi. i keep saying this but i am literally the first kokomi kinner i mean it. dating all the way back to late 2020 when we knew her as mimi. therefore i am gatekeeping this identity no one else can be kokomi. jokes but not jokes ^_^ and also march 7th to a lesser degree, i knew about her only a bit before i jumped straight into hsr and went “yep, yeah, uhuh” asdhjkhd. someone i didn't expect to kin is like... ai hoshino, i eyed her for a while but didn't really see it even though i did have that “overconfident idol who's not as confident as she acts” type streak bc of rise until i found out how she struggles with love which is like. oh! (plus it's not a great source but i don't take pride in it anyway.) mmmaybe kaveh too, since i wasn't going to kin anyone in sumeru but Things Happened. highkey hate how he's a really common kin bc apparently “gnc suffering artist who struggles with self-worth, family, and belonging finds a home in another person and maybe himself too” resonated with a lot of people and i mean. ok. im fine with this (im not)

(46) — your favorite things

ZIZEL ; floral tea, ribbons, dresses, lolita fashion, satin and silk, flowers, shiny trinkets like gems but also jewelry, most things feminine, i also like “rich” things if that's any definition, but not money because it's of no use for me. and claire :)

[poppinlovemp4]

🍉🌻🥭🥝

thank youu!!

🍉: most interesting idols in law?

idk if i'd say Interesting but i have a couple that im kinda fond of bc oomfs like them.. q from tbz. i like ningning & keep up with her but not to the stan extent so i'll count her too. zb1 jiwoong. nmixx lily

🌻: most valued kpop possession (i.e. albums, freebies, having attended a concert, plushies, etc.)?

i own all of jonghyun's albums bc i bought them as they were released and i'm really grateful to! also attended exordium + i think recently seeing taemin in a venue as small as i did as close to the front as i was was kinda crazy so i'll treasure that for sure...

🥭: favorite comeback of 2025 so far?

i have goldfish memory so im probably forgetting something but i've not loved anything except nmixx's which is crazy because i havent loved any of their tts until just now 😭 but just gave the whole album a listen and thoroughly enjoyed

🥝: first group or soloist you got into?

ive been casually listening for as long as i can remember (as in like literally having snsd on & learning the choreos with friends when i was like 6) but the groups that awoke the stan gene were exo & shinee on the very same day in 2012 (sherlock release day). made my life significantly worse as you might imagine

send me kpop asks

[heartepub]

get to know your mutuals

late to the party, but tada! tagging @ylangelegy by their request and also cos i stole it from them w their consent

what's the origin of your blog title? hana (wqnwoos) complimented my user—not sure if she was referring to heartepub or vivimvs, my main, but it was a shot of serotonin nonetheless LMAOOO—it feels a little on the nose, but epub is the ebook file format suffix + heart . so it's like this account is a lil ebook of my heart <3

favorite fandoms: i liked the hq fandom in the early 2020-2022 era (while i was still active in those spaces) ,, not in a lot of fandoms anymore tho, mostly for my mental health

OTP(s)/shipname: victuuri has a special place in my heart hehe . re: haikyuu, i love bokuaka but osaaka was my comfort ship esp w fiendishpal art on twitter (WHAT A TIME THAT WAS) ,,, also anne and wentworth (persuasion) my beloveds

favorite color: navy blue (hi tara haha), periwinkle, and that specific shade of red that's rich/slightly cool but not like red wine deep (kinda pomegranate ish)

favorite game: i am not a gamer (the most i got was finishing tekken 5 on ps4—i mained asuka) BUTTT i have fond memories of gamebox ;; i also like playing speed, bluff, pusoy dos, uno, and chess (not that I'm good)

song stuck in your head: sigh— would you fall in love with me again (got me so bad i downloaded fagles' translations of Iliad and odyssey)

weirdest habit/trait? bc i have friends who are v musical, i adopted their unconscious harmonizing w any music currently on—unfortunately i am very bad at it and so only do it when I'm alone

hobbies: cooking, reading, downloading jstor articles on niche subjects (and never quite getting to reading them); i also dive (both scuba and free) and my friend recently got me into bouldering

if you work, what's your profession? im a [graduating] student <3

if you could have any job you wish, what would it be? lit professor <//3, social sciences researcher, dive instructor / marinebiologist—OH AND i'd love to be paid to travel

something you're good at: cooking!

something you're bad at: high-maintenance organizing; my filing system is very simple bc anything more "organized" passing would just make me dump everything in a single place anyway

something you love: catching up w friends <3 bonus if i cook for them

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: if spain had 3g's when colonizing, i have 3g's for long coversations—gender, ghibli, [ancient] greek [stories]

something you collect: i still have all the physical letters I've been given—catholic school ppl know but retreat letters hehe ;; also movie tickets, esp for indie films/film fests

something you forget: i always forget my jacket and end up shivering when my classes are in those rooms w full blast air-conditioning </33

what's your love language? doing acts of service—not sure on what i like receiving (maybe I'm just not picky ,, and/or still icked bc my last almost-rel still makes me mad)

favorite movie/show: i think this is one of those q's where the answer can change on a given day (same w fave book); but for now, I'll say princess mononoke—comfort binges are the lotr trilogy and haikyuu. fave ph movie as of late is iti mapukpukaw, and i still think about magnifico and balangiga every now and again

favorite food: hot soup/stew. could be tomato-based, clear, puree, spiced, miso, jjigae, etc — idc, its a hug in a bowl <3

favorite animal: cats. but sea turtles have a special place in my heart cos seeing one on a dive is like a straight shot of serotonin

are you musical? i have band friends ++ my early education was in a school known for their music curriculum, and i did violin for a little—so a lil above average ig, but don't count on me to belt or be conversant in complex music theory

what were you like as a child? loved being the smartest in the room lol—also much more uptight and high strung

favorite subject at school? i liked everything, most of the time. i was part of the crowd that would be arguing solutions and/or doing last-minute tutoring on test days. in uni, though, my favorite was def my "stories and narratives" elective.

least favorite subject? i unfortunately disliked the service component of my senior high formation—it was nice to tutor kids, but i didn't get how our teacher could be perfectly gallant talking to girls in conversations but have the most twisted performance of masculinity while lecturing

what's your best character trait? i like to think I'm a good listener

what's your worst character trait? very aggressive "say yikes and move on" / conflict avoidant energy when someone does something hurtful to me

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? i wish i woke up earlier sdfsfddsf

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet? the younger version of my mom or maternal grandmother—just to glimpse what it was like growing up in japan in the decades they did

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love): i wont ever shut up about kae's like real people do (proof). but i also love @/mingtinys noah's how flowers bloom and wither — i reblogged it on sarangcoups but i haven't yet here (i will soon), but please show noah love if you do read it!

[whataphantasia]

ugh ok that poll i reblogged made me listen to UUFO again and i didnt realize it's been like a few months since i listened to it in full FKKEDN (ok this got long so it's under a cut now)

every song ive just been going "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" DJAKDJEK IM NORMAL IM NORMAL

i know its cringe to like a camellia album this much but uufo is like. a culmination of a LOT of the things i like, and all of camellias experience leading up to that point yk.. and so much love and effort went into it from so many different people.. auuuughhh

every part of the album comes together... i LOVE albums with a theme and this one is PARANORMAL OCCURENCES and URBAN LEGENDS and shit ITS EVERYTHING I LOVE!! the different pieces of album art... ufo girl... wauuuu wauuuu cries sobs

idc if its uncritical and cringe to love every song i do what i want. i dont rly care abt if a song is structurally good as long as it makes me happy it goes hard (and all of them make me happy)

the website.. so pretty...

ok im gonna go to bed after doinf this but heres a few tracks i want to ramble abt (i wish i could do all of the tracks but i wont (FOR NOW...))

for the longest time buzzbox was my favorite song LOL. it was one of my first songs on the album and the russian bass/hardcore mix is just SO good. idk why i liked it so much honestly, its not rly what i LISTEN to yk. i have a fond memory of making my geometry teacher listen to it in 10th grade and she never let me pick a class song again. SHE LIKED EDM TOO I THOUGHT SHE'D GET IT </33

obviously ghoul is amazing. no notes. everyone loves that song.

OOPARTS IS A BONUS TRACK ON THIS ALBUM. OOPARTS. OF COURSE IT'S GOOD

speaking of the muzzle facing.. god idk. the melodic metal undertones. i LOVE a big variety in musical textures and this song just SCRATCHES my DAMN BRAIN. the part where it goes *metal guitar riff* *oingo boingo ass scratching noises* ANDJWJDJEJD IM NORMAL (at 1:37)

POLYBIUS GB IS SO GOOD. the way every section of the song builds on eachother AUGH. the final drop with the chiptune/extratone. CAMELLIA AND HIS EXTRATONEY FINAL DROPS ARE SO GOOD WAUUU WAAAA

a lot of what i feel abt polybius gb ALSO applies to final blenderman!!!! except final blenderman has WAYY more electric guitar YEAHHHH!! camellia final drops. the shift from rock guitar to chiptune melody, and an extratoneish finale,, reminds me a bit of million pp actually? haha. it miiiight be my favorite song? it outranked buzzbox a while ago but tbh this place might be slipping for like, the muzzle facing.

i actually didnt like myths you forgot as much as the other tracks when i first listened to it.. idk why? maybe bc it was a little slower? past me has no taste bc this track is so layered. and good. thanks toby fox

artcore is usually an "eh, its good" for me (i have a lot of artcore i enjoy, like fallen symphony) but #1f1e33 is different.. just felt like pointing it out (esp since this album has a longer version of it) like! i never felt BORED! every section builds! and has interesting auditory textures! lol. ig thats how u keep my attention (not that "being boring" is inherently bad ofc)

i have really fond memories of listening to microwave-proof cat in like, 10th/9th grade... sighh that song is so fun. the main melody's texture is just so bouncy. kisses it.

OKAY. DAMN. its 3. i need to go to bed. i'd love to continue rambling abt this though. maybe later.

as of right now my favorite camellia song (outside of this album) is parallel universe shifter :3c yeah, like, his most recent 7 minute song. of course its good. idk just.. it has all the things i like in it. i'd love to be able to one day make music like this song specifically. but point is, it has all of my favorite musical things.. in it. idk how to explain it. the name too. its super personal to me LOL. and the references and callbacks in the song. so tasty

ig another 8+ track edm album i like is also good evening hollowood... can you tell i love paranormal/halloween themed albums. JK LOL the songs in that album have nothing to do with that. while im talking abt t+pazolite i like ponko2 girlish too.. maybe ill dedicate a post to that if i get bored.

OK FOR REAL NOW ILL STOP. BYE

[celestialpotat0]

I'm definitely old now

In 2023 I struggled to reconcile my desire to stay out late at night and make memories with my desire to have a restful sleep schedule. In my 20s I would regularly leave the house after 11pm because many spots and events don't get lit til around 12am. In 2023 I think I pretty much always chose sleep over staying up. Was supposed to go clubbing for my friend's birthday party, and I really wanted to go. But I probably wouldn't have been home til 3am, which would inevitably cause me to wake up early to go into work after some sleep-deprived days. I'd risk making mistakes at work or thinking too slowly at work, which could cause patient harm. Then I'd go home from work and be too tired to meal prep, work out, clean, study, etc. so that day would be wasted. And it'd take prob a few days to correct the 1 night of staying up too late. So i told him wouldnt be able to stay up late for clubbing, and in a way i shocked myself at how unfamiliar this new me is, given how much i loved going out dancing.

The Killers have a special place in my heart because their music transports me back to the middle school version of myself. I listened to Hot Fuss so many times in middle school and the drama spoke to my angsty, emotional, and insecure self. that younger version of me who constantly dreamed about a grander life. When they came to SF, I knew that it'd mean so much to go to their concert; I have this obsession with nostalgia and attaching sentimental significance to certain things so I can commemorate memories and try to relive or reexperience them. (yes i realize that was extremely redundant word choice but idc bc i gotta head into work in a bit.) But I decided with difficulty to miss their concert since I had early morning work the next day.

I have extra special fond memories of NYE in past years- gathering with lots of strangers, dancing, bundled up under thick layers and scarves to ring in the new year. in those moments that you're gathering and celebrating and chanting the last ten seconds of the year out loud in unison with everyone around you, you KNOW you're going to remember those exact moments of revelry and joy for years to come. but i turned down my friend's invitation to celebrate this year because i had work in the morning on New year's day.

These are just some examples of when me in my 20s might have leaned toward going. While I admit the clubbing may have been the pursuit of hedonism as dancing is joy found in a simple act of moving to music and allows me to leave all my worries behind off the dance floor, the concert was more about nostalgia and NYE was more about creating memories. In 2023, there were many other times when I consistently chose over and over again to NOT stay out late. Mainly because I felt an obligation to be responsible for my job. friend invited me to watch a movie that starts at 7pm next Friday--I told him I'll have to sit this one out because idk if i'll even be awake by the end of the movie.

a 7pm movie on a friday evening is too late for me now... welcome to my 30s.

I've recently started to reframe my perspective on getting older. im obviously starting to realize now that I feel way more wrecked on 5 hours of sleep than i used to. body aches appear spontaneously now. the appearance of my body and face is not what it used to be. but im actually really appreciating the present, because i think about how in my 40s I'm going to WISH I could be back in my 30s. And in my 50s I'm going to think man I really had it good in my 40s. So thinking of future me makes me appreciate the body I have today, and I actually feel grateful. I'm quite proud of shifting my perspective because when I was like 28-30 I used to feel miserable about the thought of getting older. I had best fully appreciate this time now, because it will slip away into the past, so I want to savor it all now while Im lucky enough to have it. i will say the weights ive been lifting have been the heaviest theyve ever been, so there are small victories.

My really dear friend is in her 90s and has sciatica. She has been in a lot of pain. But the other day I received a package from her in the mail. She'd sent me pecan pie and cookies. To know that she baked a pie and cookies and packaged them up and shipped them over to me from San Clemente, all despite her sciatica pain, is one of the most meaningful acts of kindness i've received. As i get older I also better understand just how much love is delivered through food. anyone who has cooked and prepared food for me, i realize how much it takes to do that and the abundance of love that is poured into and expressed through food. im so inspired and touched to witness that kindness and am grateful our paths crossed.

[icyfox17]

feel free to continue on w fav mems/achievements :B i loved reading them bc i can never rmb my own memories

WAVESS finally getting to this one :D i wanted to wait for a day where i could properly focus on the answer eueueu

Gonna provide a cut bc im pre sure im gonna rambleeee

edit: ANOTHER ONE THAT I DIDNT POST PROPERLY HELP MEEE I think I just assumed the save draft was the post button help this was from so many days ago I'm so sorry beanz

♤ A moment I remember clearly that I'd love to go back to is sleeping with Milo. He used to curl up right under my neck and it was the cutest fucking tag ever, it was so comforting and I may have died from allergies but it was sooo worth it man ohmygod

◇ Eating at Red Robins with my mom right before going to a concert. Ider which concert ngl but idk it was just . Such a happy moment. Tbh all of the concerts I've been to with my mom (tswift, nick jonas and demi levato, tøp) are all very fond memories of mine. They were all superrr fun :))

♡ oooo idr if i mentioned this in the other one but CHOIRR vocal jazz was a lot of fun, like going downtown with everyone? It was Such an Experience man /pos

♧ VISITING MY AUNT UP NORTH ON THE ISLAND OHKYGODDD both times but i def preferred this last time bc i got to do a lot more exploring of the town myself :D i love my aunt and i love my baby cousin, he's such a menace but he's fucking adorable and really fun to hang out with (even if he gets a little much sometimes). The island itself is gorgeous and wow... the amount of wildlife i got to see was so dope. And just . We went to this small side island and we had the island to ourself LIKE A WHOLE FUCKING ISLAND . TO OURSELF IT WAS SO COOL MAN OHKYGOSHHH that trip was honestly so fucking cool man i loved it smmm i cant wait to go back rahhss

♤ watching the flash (before it got bad) with my mom :)) those times were honestly so lovely idk it was Our Special Bonding Time wout my siblings it was just . Really specisl and nice

◇ fencinggg, i miss fencing so much man, i really hope i get back into it this year omg. The feeling of doing well, outsmarting someone, dodging, getting a point. Ahhhh, there's nothing else like it. So satisfying. I miss the way it felt to be completely and utterly fluid with the the blade.

♡ playing cards with my dad and his friends, late at night while listening to 90s r&b and rap, very nice vibes:))

♧ this one morning my dad and stepmom making pancakes while listening to ccr. My stepmom kept being like "wait this song is ALSO ccr?!?!?" bc she knew of the band but she never actually knew all the songs were by them it was really funny but also super lovely

♤ christmas. I love christmas man. Specifically waking up early in the morning to the smell of coffee and land of knod (a type of cinnamon bun thingy that my stepmom always makes), dibbying out all the presents to every person as we all choose our spots, opening presents. Christmas cookies, i looove christmas cookies, i love making them tooo.

◇ playing dnd, both with my fam and with my friends. I have so many chaotic and silly moments from that. I miss dnd so bad

♡ this one time i stood outside in the pouring rain on the grass in my socks. It was such a... freeing moment. Bc yknow people hate getting their socks wet, it's very cursed, but i Did it. I did it on purpose. And it was so nice honestly. Just the feeling of the rain pressing down on my skin, the cool air breathing on it compared to the suffocating heat from inside my house... ough i love rain

♧ in a similar but almost opposite fashion, lying down in the sun on the grass field outside of our highschool. It was so calming. I still love lying down in the grass, I do it at uni too. I just put on some music and just... enjoy the moment. I dig my hands into the dirt. I love the feeling of it on my skin, i love looking at its lasting impression, even after i wipe my hands clean of it. It makes me feel alive and content to be in that moment.

♤ hehe watching tommys vlogs with my stepmom. Back when tommys vlogs first started coming out, they came out weekly, and i was visiting my stepmom weekly too so it worked out. It was a lovely lil routine between us :))

◇ scrapbooking with my dads wife, it was such a fun creative outlet and i actually got to do something with my photos for once, rather than have them just sit on my phone

♡ driving with my stepmom up that same beautiful highway i mentioned last time, going up to the waterfalls with my stepmom

♧ OOOHH HIKINGG so many hikes but there was this one Insane one where we had to 4x4 up this mountain and we went to the top of the peak and there were so many wildflowers and barely any ppl since its such an intense hike and omg it was so peaceful i wanna go back...

[oflgtfol]

honestly i wish i could live in wizard101

[aquato-family-circus]

had a fucking WILD dream abt hollis and loboto having a connection post game

so you can visit hollis' classroom mind and its expanded to fit more young psychonauts students

and sometimes, you can follow her behind a hiden bookcase if you catch her at the right time struggling to focus in her mental office

i'd love to say theres permission to go deeper into her mind this time but what actually happened was that raz was following her bc he had a question about a test, no actual motives to mess with shit this time, but before he knew it or could stop it he ended up stuck in a deeper part of her mind im lovingly refering to as

Hollis' Hot Mess

Where after trying to look for her office, the halls start to twist and turn and contort into endless household hallways, and you start running into mental constructs of Hollis' parents, who are, not good people at all. In fact, you see them by hiding behind corners, talking shit, while you're trying to find your way out of this part of her mind, but if her parents see you the horror chase sequence begins

You have to evade her parents who are trying to fucking get you by running thru hallways and hiding in rooms that just so happen to hide away memories of hollis being a disappointment to the family and being pressured to do her best bc thats what will (probably) get her parents' respect.

Once enough time has passed you enter a door into the house's main living room, the chase sequence ends and you enter the fight stage of the mind, where her parents throw things at you and you have to throw them back. They vocally say what power was needed for each attack, very helpful thank you

and this is where the loboto connection comes in. after a few rounds of this chase then fight, her parents in my mind's eye just were the puppet stopmotion parents loboto has. and the "animation style" of the fight felt distinctly like the VR game where the objects being thrown slowed down and even the camera movement started responding to VR related eye and neck movements. Now it wasnt saying that loboto's parents WERE hers tho. it was drawing a comparison where even in my dream i could tell it was a metaphor.

the fight eventually ends with big versions of the parents crashing thru the house, ones that I think Loboto himself helped you fight? and you have to avoid them crushing you and hollis, but its ok bc the dad's heart is an empty space so you get saved in a fucking charlie chaplin move of dodging so you're in the heart zone and therefore not squished

we're left with this indication that hollis and loboto either had their brains mixed up in some weird way, or for some reason loboto's fond of hollis in a way that doesnt make sense until right before leaving the level he makes some referal to thinking of her like his kid. hollis is like "huh :0" and im like HUH??? then wake up

legit I jumped awake to my phone starting this post like "guys i found a psychonauts level that explains everything" before I became more lucid and realized i just had a really fucking god damn weird dream, lmao

im keeping the scary family memory backrooms and "hollis' hot mess" as ideas in the back of my pocket now tho

[edengarden]

hello! can i request a regular haikyu matchup? im INFP (female) gemini. i tend to smile a lot. it's kinda easy for me to have some small talks and talk about a certain topic, but i would really, really appreciate it if i have someone to have a deep talk. i really care to my loved ones but i mask it with some saltyness. i'm loyal and dependable. people see me as a really kind person (?) but sometimes when i'm mad i'd be heartless than ever. it's kinda hard to control my anger [1/2]

I’m matching you up with Kenma!

Despite your struggle with anger, you seem like a relatively calm person and I think Kenma needs that to a certain extent. And I seriously doubt he’d ever get on your bad side. The worst he might do to annoy you is (accidentally) have the volume of his switch too high and the sounds might get on your nerves a bit.

I think your hobbies are so adorable?? The two of you definitely visit arcades and make it your goal to have your names on EVERY machine’s highest scores dashboard. Kenma would also enjoy the odd thing you have for going to stores but not buying anything? I think he’d enjoy walking around with you and looking at stuff for fun. Once in a while he’ll force you two to stop and he’ll buy something either for himself or for you.

AND AT PARKS YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU KEEP ALL THE FUNNY PICTURES OF KENMA MAKING FACES ON RIDES THEYRE SO FUNNY he hates them but when he sees you practically wheezing because of them, they become a fond memory for him. One totally got leaked and became the newest viral meme (you know the meme of the kid pulling a face while going down a slide? Yeah, this but it’s Kenma. The internet went wild)

And MY GOD, quiet stay-at-home dates where he’s playing whatever video game he felt like playing and you’re sitting beside him, watching him play for a while and then going back to your bullet journal to do whatever and then looking back up to stay updated on his progress?? It’s so cute?? Also when you get up he gets lowkey sad bc he was about to do this cool trick but then you come back with snacks and he swears he could spend an entire quarantine like this.

Overall, I think pairing you with Kenma could legit just,, be so good for you?? You have my blessing bby

Songs!!

- xanny, Billie Eilish

- Would That I, Hozier

- Ghost Choir, Louie Zong (HEEHEE IM GIVING Y’ALL ALL THE SOFT FUCKING SONGS THIS IS KENMA'S "gaming and (y/n)'s over to hang out" PLAYLIST)

- The Man Who Sold the World, David Bowie (the “oh no, not me, I never lost control” CONTRAST WITH UR ANGER HAS ME CACKLING IM SORRY??)