#im so dumb man whateverrr

[akireu-13]

so. i might be more disabled than i realised, according to the criteria laid out by the government for disability benefits. did anyone know that anxiety so bad you avoid eating so you dont have to make a decision and having trouble reading because you have brain fog and having to focus so hard to do so that you forget what you just read thus making the whole endeavor pointless is considered part of being disabled. or am i the only one who somehow believed that was just The Way It Be Sometimes

[penguin--person]

Solstice (srs/lttm from rain world)?

im so fucking normal about them you have no idea im so fucking normal im so normal you have to believe me i swear im normal i fuckings wear man im normal im so fucking normal

going along with the popular 'suns is treated like a god in their colony' headcannon, i dont think suns liked being worshiped - but, i do think he misses it. he knows it wasnt healthy, but he still does. this isnt me saying he wants moon to worship him, No, he Doesn't . and i mean that. slash serious. in my headcanon, moon's colony was religious too, but unlike suns' 'we can indulge in wordly pleasures as long as suns is ok with it and as long as its for him', there were more monks there. didn't starve themseleves, no, but. they did deprive themselves of lifes joys n shit . like the typical ancient. so. nothing irregular.

i think they'd date before the events of the main game

they meet through pebbles, maybe. suns mentions talking to pebbles not long after he was activated in one of the broadcasts in spearmasters campaign. maybe when pebbles talked about moon, how he wanted to be independent n all that, he went and spoke to moon herself.

and! while he understood pebbles' frustration. i think. m. he foud moon's kindness comforting. sweet lady. i headcanon them to be somewhat of a group senior, too, though maybe like.. not the oldest. moon gen1, suns gen2, smth. so. i think he'd find her comforting. and. he'd keep talking to her.

he'd maybe mention it once to pebbles, but wouldn't mention how their friendship is turning into a romantic one !! though like. qpr. ive got so many thoughts on how iterators perceive relationships you dont even know... like, i think the lines are blurry for them, what is platonic and what romantic. so i think it's not comparable to any relationship any human being has had.. though, maybe.. in the neolithic age n shit.. broken femur... "life is cruel but i'll stand by you and love you even when you're doing bad" n shit. whateverrr no one look at me. though efel free to ask me about my thoughts on the iterator relationships:3

so !! so . i think. moon would find him silly. she'd be happy pebbles has someone as kind as him as a friend, tutor.. . she'd see that suns is hurt, that they're depressed, don't see much point in trying to find the solution, but still try, because, what else is there to do? i think she'D try to help them see the joy in life. and maybe she'd succeed a bit. but, you can't drag a person out of depression on your own, ya know? not to say moon doesn't have her own problems - she also defineely has some kind of depression, i'd bet all iterators do, even if they don't know it. they've got mental illnesses we can't even fahtom.

so !! m. i also think they'd just be silly. moon would give a lot to the relationship, but, she's bad at setting boundaries, yea? like. take the whole pebbles thing as an example. she didn't force communicattions until she absolutely had to . i think she lets a lot of things slide, but, she's not oblivious! she just. i dont knowww i dont wanna mischaracterize her. shes not stupid. shes not dumb. she tells suns if he goes too far. but i dont think she's mean about it. moon never kills the slugcat. i don't think she'd ever really get angry with him - upset, yes, but she understands what he's going through.. and, as group seniour, even though they're not in the same group (but considers him part), wants to help him get better.

i don't think it'd be interely healthy, but, it'd be interesting! like. like. when you're climbing out of depression, you sometimes latch onto something that brings you joy soo much that you don't even care about the side effects. like. you don't fcare if you're depriving yourself of sustance, you don't care if you're harming yourself or the thing, or if the thing is harming you, you don't care if its unhealthy. it brings you joy! and joy is so hard to come by. for me, at least. this is filled with so much projection and self indulgence if u couldnt tell lol

but. they do love each other! they care for each other!! suns isnt using her, and moon isnt stupid and ignoring his faulst ! she knows they are there! but she trusts he'll get better. and suns hopes he will, too.

he'd help moon, too. he'd listen to her frustrations, encourage her to share her feelings. and she would. i dont think suns would know how to help her, really, but he'd listen - and sometimes, even that is rlly helpful.

he sends spearmaster to her, one cycle, with a pearl. an engagement:) old ancient way, exchanging jewelry.

he feels even shittier when the main events of the game happen. because. they weren't publically engaged/married/dating/qpr/whatever the fuck theyve got going on. so he can't. talk about it that much. he does tell nsh eventually n they're like, "why didnt you tell us. like literally its fine. i get pebbles would be upset, but, its fine" . and. m. so. relationships were tabboo in ancient culture, yes? ties you down to the cycle, turns you into an echo and shit. karma three, family and friendship. moon wouldn't be as aprehensive - she knows the local group wouldn't shun them, or at least would come around eventually. but she respects suns' boundary !! i think. he'd be scared. that the ancients would be disapointed in him or something. that iterators would shun and hate him.

i can't explain more of that without evolving this into a longer rant than it already is. so i wont. but feel free to send more asks:3

[hayleybaaaby-blog]

im so boreddd

1. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? i was always around someone else when i was trying or doing something, but that was sooo long ago..

2. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely. i'm not have any more babydaddys. next man i get pregnant by is the guy i wanna end u p with.

3. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy motel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? trust me, as someone who lived in a motel for around exactly a year with my abusive babydaddy, daughter, & baby in my belly .... too much drama, nastiness, & lowlives.

4. Is there a color shirt you’d NEVER wear? i guess i wouldn't wear like neon orange or green lol. actually, probably wouldn't wear anything neon.

5. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? all the times i drank underage. it wasn't many, but yeah. miserable.

6. What is your favorite video game console? Why? used to be xbox 360. haven't had one of those in YEARS.

7. Do you like vanilla candles?

sure, i guess.

8. Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon? i dunno?

9. Would you ever bleach your hair platinum blonde? i have bleached my hair plenty of times 😂

10. What are your plans for tomorrow? well, since it's already 2:20 am, tomorrow will be Monday .. I get paid. ✨

11. What did you have for breakfast? didn't eat breakfast.

12. Have you had sex in 2017 yet? consensual & nonconsensual ....

13. Who last slept in your bed besides you? my children lol. 💖

14. What time did you wake up today? couldn't even fall asleep..

15. How long until your next birthday? i'll be 23 on July 12th! 🎈🎉✨

16. What was the last movie you watched? shit idek 😂😂 i only watch shows on Netflix & our DVR. i can't even sit through a movie now loool. think the last one i watched was Stepbrothers.

17. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Fetty Wap 😍😍 whateverrr, he's fineee. 18. When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? few days ago. peanut butter and crackers lol.

19. What’s the last song you heard? the hills - the weeknd

20. When you say you love someone, do you mean it? that's the only time i'll say it lol. i only tell my kids and family that i love them, and then a select few friends.

21. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? yasss, if i can ever get some rest. 😭😫 toooo much on my mind.

22. Do you still talk to any of your ex’s? yeah, a few. now that Luis doesn't control my every move, I can talk to whoeverrrr.

23. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? Luis....

24. Where’s the last place you went? Prospect Mart. shit i don't get out much.

25. Have you held hands with anyone lately? my babygirl 😇

26. Has anyone let you down recently? actually, yeah 😂😂 dude approached ME, and then just wanted to dip when he realized that my life IS as difficult as i've said it is..

27. Does it bother you when people try to make you jealous? uh, yeah???

28. Whats the next movie you want to see in theaters? i don't even have a way to go see a movie.

29. Do you have more than $50 in your room? nope.

30. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? yeah, they're still married, too.

31. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? im tired 24/7.

32. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? LUIS  HERRERA.

33. When was the last time you went apple picking? omg, i was soooo young!

34. Do you sometimes wake up in the morning, lay in bed and think about life? not anymore, i shove that shit so deep down. i hate thinking about all of this bs.

35. Are you happy summer is coming soon? of course! Paradise Lake and Holliday Lake, here we come! wish it could be the beach, but it's okay. 😊

36. Do you have drama in your life? so fucking much. thank you, luis. court is coming up this month.

Is there a person in your life that can always make you smile? there are 2, in fact - my children 💜💙

Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point, and isn’t around now? yeah, POS tried to kill me and did other very personal and graphic shit to me. so, now he's rotting in jail..

Are you a jealous person? maybe i should've been 😂😂 then possibly i would've gotten cheated on less?

Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant? i would lose my shit.

When is the next time you’re traveling out of state? yeah right lol. i don't have the money for that.

Can you write your name in a foreign language? it'd be the same regardless, lol.

When you’re getting ready for something, do you listen to music? yessss.

Do you leave the curtains/blinds closed or open while you sleep? Closed..

What is your favorite day of the week? I'm a stay-at-home Mom. all the days are the same/

Do you generally do the same thing every day of the week? yes, taking care of my kids, cooking, cleaning, going outdoors w the babies.

What is something you did yesterday and wish you could’ve done today? didn't do anything in particular, except taking the kiddos outside to swim in the kiddie pool.

If you woke up tomorrow and knew/spoke a different language, which language would you want it to be? Spanish. my kids are half Mexican!

What did you last order online? Mama Bear, Sister Bear, & Baby Bear shirts 😍😍😍

Do you have any specific hobbies? taking pics of my kids lmao

What’s a song you recently discovered that you want to tell everyone about? Alone by Marshmello, but honestly that was a while ago. im just still obsessed.

Favorite fall or winter accessory? uhhhh.. a warm jacket?

Do you like to swim? LOVE to swim!

How many books are in your room? a lot, i guess. but i don't even read anymore.

What did you last eat? shiii, i honestly don't know. i feed my kids & don't eat lmao.

Name one of your goals for this year. FORGET LUIS.

What does your 9th message on your phone say? my phone isn't set up that way.

Look to your left. What’s there? wall.

How long does it take you to fall asleep? hours.

Are you scared about the end of the world? yes.

Is there a TV in the room you are in? yeah, a tiny little tv from like when i was a kid 😂 that's why i never hang out in my room.

What are you looking forward to? going summer clothes shopping for my kiddos. Leonardo is outgrowing clothes so fast. he's fitting 6 month snuggly.

What comes to your mind when I say red? the gum big red./

What other language do you want to be fluent in? Spanish.

Do you crack your neck often? no lmao.

Worst feeling in the world? having the man you love devastate you in every way, from cheating to ALL forms of abuse to lies to stealing to trying to kill you. but the worst? is giving my kids a shit father..

Name something you think is pointless? relationships. they're dumb asf.

Favorite fast food restaurant? locally, Taco Bell or Wendy's. we don't have many options lol.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? yes, a few./

Did you have a weird dream last night? i have the worst nightmares .

Do you wish at 11:11? heh not anymore.