#im sleepy but wow i wrote something mostly safe for public reading can i have a cookie

[directionlessbuthappy]

Pagan (Epilogue)

Surprise! pandainfinitely mentioned to me a while ago that it would’ve been cool to see some reactions to Ivar surviving in my last part of Pagan. So I made that sprinkled in with a special moment. Cheers! xo

Warnings: blood, graphic depiction of piercings, intimacy/fluff at the end <3

Droplets of rain leak through a small crack in the roof of the Great Hall. It'll be patched up before nightfall. You stir what appears to be cloudy, milky water over the hearthfire, grinning while you replay the morning of his return.

You'd traveled back to Kattegat without Ivar. Tradition stated only when a man returns to the village with his kill is he able to claim adulthood. Perhaps, though, tradition was already broken. You had already considered what you'd done; it made you smile. The gods wanted it to happen the way it did. Whether Ivar was tracking the beast, or whether you'd attracted the beast near and Ivar found you, it did not matter. It did not matter how strong he was or if his strength he needed to kill the lynx was wrought from the sight of you nearing your death... What mattered is the gods had saved him. The totems had let him live. Long ago when you left home, you knew you'd never be welcome back. Becoming an outsider meant death. So the judgement you feared could come from nowhere so long as you never went home. You savored that idea...being the first of your people ever to leave the sanctuary of home. Being the first to bring your customs to a foreign land, a strange world. Convincing a warrior to bear the mark of your people through his stubborn will, through your teachings...who were you to be shamed for sharing the gods' wild spirits?

When you returned, storming through the Great Hall, Ubbe and Hvitserk were waiting. They refused to speak to you as you went to Ivar's room. The queen was conveniently not present for your return. You didn’t mind, moreso, you wanted to rest. But your things were gone. 

"Ubbe!" you shrieked, trudging back to the main hall. "Where are my things? What did you do?"

"We assumed you would be leaving," he spit at you, crossing his legs on the table. "Perhaps you fled when you realized my brother was dead."

Your nostrils flared; you wouldn't tell him. Not yet. Not until you wanted him to choke on his words.

"I do not run."

Ubbe rolled his eyes. Hvitserk finally spoke up. 

"Did you at least find him?"

You snorted at him, refusing to answer as you sat down. 

"Haven't you asked a seer?" 

Ubbe frowns at you. "This is a game to you, isn't it? Funny that you've sent our baby brother to die? Did you spend too much time in his bed and think you had to rid yourself of him?"

You rolled up the sleeve of your concealed arm, showing Hvitserk the black ink twirling around your forearm. A viper with a diamond shaped head opened its jaws to your hand.

"What is that?" Ubbe asked cautiously.

"Hel." 

The brothers both glance at your arm. Maybe its just them, but that snake looks like its coiling tighter and tighter into itself. Like its waiting to strike. 

"She has showed me how I die. And it is not by you, or your brothers, Ubbe." You shoved your sleeve down, casting Hvitserk a glance while he sat back in disappointment. "Stop asking me dumb questions and act like you believe in your little brother, for once."

"Is that another one of your strange traditions?" Hvitserk asked. He wasn't an interested in an argument like Ubbe was. He never was; he was simpler than that. More kind too.

"Yes," you answered simply. Hvitserk smiled slightly, unsettled by your tattoo that was now concealed. For a second, he kind of understood why you kept that arm covered. It was the same reason people turn away statues at night...their stares can be...

The door to the Great Hall banged against the wall. In came Ivar, dragging a lump of fur that trailed blood across the wooden boards. Ubbe and Hvitserk didn't jump up right away; they were more in shock than they were happy. "Did you think I would come back empty handed?" Ivar mocked them. He knew what they thought...

"Ivar!" Hvitserk cheered. Aslaug emerged from her bedroom with wide eyes. She glared at you for a moment but she didn't care much to look at you; it was her son she was more enthralled with. She embraced him quickly, helping him into his chair. 

"The gods have protected you," Aslaug sobbed.

"The gods, the wild...they all favor me, mother. You know this."

Aslaug stopped crying a moment to give a guilty expression. She hadn't believed in her son's return; Ivar knew this too. At least she had the sense to look grateful for his return, and had the sense to be sober for it. Hvitserk gave Ivar a loving headlock. He was proud of his little brother. He had his own doubts, but he was simply glad Ivar was home again.

"You did that?" Ubbe asked, gesturing to the body of the lynx. You had a feeling Ubbe was looking at you; there was a burning sensation along the back of your neck.

"It wasn't the birds or the butterflies, Ubbe. Of course I did. What kind of stupid question is that?”

You snapped out of it and took the iron pot off the fire. Taking a bit of cloth, you gently poured the water through it. The cloth caught the bones you were boiling. Taking a piece of still very hot bone piece, you brought it to your grindstone and swiped it across. It only took a few goes before you set the bone in a pot of cold, slushy water. The material hardened under your fingerpads, the water so cold you were surprised you could still feel it. After the bone chilled, you pulled it out and took it to the soft light, checking for any holes with the firelight to help. No holes. A good needle.

With a deep sigh, you set the needle it your row. This was the last one. You took the row of four you'd made and let them dry, glancing up at Ivar in his chair. He sat in his father's seat whenever his mother wasn't around. The idea of looking through his father's eyes to see what he once saw filled him with pride and stroked his ego.

"You know, if you scream, your brothers will wake up."

"Isn't that usually what I tell you?" Ivar asked in return. You blushed, chuckling under your breath while you took the boiling water over to cool in a clean basin.

"What about your mother?"

"She is my mother. If I tell her to go to bed, she will."

You sighed. Things were very simple in Ivar's head.

"...would you want me to listen that way if I stayed here? In Kattegat, I mean."

Ivar had his elbow rested on the chair, rolling his tongue along his bottom lip. He shrugged, gesturing to your standing figure. The fire roared to the side of you. "Where else would you go little shieldmaiden?"

He grinned at you, lifting his chin slightly. Proudly. You walked over to him and his set his arms down flat against the chair. You could see the nervous look in his eye, hidden behind his blank someone annoyed expression he wore often. Pulling out the needles and the water basin, you climbed into his lap with your supplies on the table to the side. You ran your fingertips across his chest. It was smooth, far from flat...he growled at your initial touch, but softened as your hands traveled across his skin.

"You won't scream?" you ask. He smirked a bit, less cocky now but still pleasantly confident as far as you could see. He gave you a kiss on the forehead and sat back. You sighed, glancing at the rag you'd retrieved just in case...but you believed him. You cleaned his nipples with the boiled water from the basin; it was cool now, but not cold. Still, the air around you was cold enough to keep them perky. You chuckled a bit, teasing him.

"Don't be afraid."

"I am not," he replied angrily. You took your needle and your small metal you'd had fashioned for this; it was an interesting exchange with the native blacksmith here in Kattegat. But with enough gold he didn't ask. You held the needle close to his skin, holding your hand on both sides of his breastbones.

"Ready?"

With a grunted response, you took that as a yes and slid the bone through. Ivar jolted in his seat, gripping his chair so hard you could hear it creak. A groan from the back of his throat made you swallow painfully. You left the bone in and brought the metal close, piercing the fresh hole with the metal ring and gliding out your bone needle. The opening to the ring was small enough that the piercings wouldn't come out easily, but he'd still have to be careful. Ivar didn't jump for the placement of the metal, but he still held tight. You pierced the right one shortly after; this one bled a little, but you cleaned it up quickly. Ivar didn't flinch for the second one. He made hardly a move, but his hands still grew white along the knuckles. When they were finally placed and cleaned up, you gave his shoulders a light massage, letting his grip on the chair release. 

"Relax, Ivar..."

He sighed with a loud growl. Coming to peace with pain was not difficult for him. You gave him a kiss once he finally hugged your hips in his hands. The slits in your dress showed off your thighs that lay to the sides of him; the space above your knee to your hip was covered in the portrait of a wolverine, blood covering its viscous muzzle. The Wolverine was the totem of Thor, a guardian and a great warrior comparable to the fighting spirit of such an relentless creature. Ivar never told you, but this one was his favorite... He ran a thumb across the teeth of the beast, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

"Tell me about the Wolverine."