#im sick of good stories being ruined

[bunisher]

yeah i do think it’s interesting how the guy who plays a character who kills abusers had one on his podcast and then was like hehehe frankcastlecore Bro The Character You Play Would Shoot You Too

[jamiethebee]

Fully caught up on the manga (minus spoilers for the last chapter) and..... Ya know what maybe I am a villain stan because I just.... Don't trust that anything really changes in society. Everyone outside of heroes, when given speaking parts, seems to indicate that they'll step in or do something in order to protect themselves - not out of any sense of responsibility or community, but to safeguard their lives in case the other person ends up a villain. Or maybe I'm just pessimistic? But we've seen irl time and again that this ending attitude doesn't work. Doesn't have change. Certainly not long lasting change. I really really wanted to finish the series still liking Deku but throughout the fight, every cut back to someone other than Deku, talking about his heart and how good he was and how much he was doing to fight for the person - and the cut back is just "punch". He never responded to Shigaraki's words. He never engaged with the man himself. And at the end of the day, I feel more trust in Uraraka. More trust that she'll actually work on saving people's hearts. And she's back in construction work like her parents. And of course the camera dies and no one sees Toga's heart. Because how dare anyone think a villain could be a person (paraphrased that one interview guy).

I really really wanted to end this manga happy with it. I'm not stupid enough to conflate the reality of the story with fandom. I'm not. I really wanted to enjoy it for what it is. But when they directly ask "how do we fix villains being made" the answer is "you don't. We can't" and ???? That's supposed to be what the manga was working towards this whole time? I - .....

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

[symbioticsimplicity]

If you ever find yourself wanting to write a plot where siblings fuck:

Don't.

[nmakii]

Ok so another part to your yandere alastor series?! Im like obsessed with them, i love the way you write Alastor!!

So an idea i guess? I love the idea Alastor slowly corrupting his kids and reader trying her best to correct them? Obviously she can’t. Idk, i can see Al wanting his son carry on his legacy while his daughter is becomes a sweet but strong woman who can probably destroy your life in a matter of minutes. I just want his kids to get corrupted to become like him!! 😭

IN A MOURNING WARNING, NO ONE HEARD

[hold up! read the rest of the story first!]

— day by day, alastor ruined your children with his malicious thoughts, while you set them straight. it’s as if evil and good decided to fight their battle in your house.

every day in this house was a headache. sleeping beside the monster called husband every night, him cuddled up to your side as if he hadn’t broken your hopes for years. acting in front of your children as if everything was fine— that they had parents who were madly in love with each other. and, raising your children. of course, raising them in itself is difficult, but alastor seems to just enjoy making your life a hell on earth.

implanting evil thoughts into your babies’ minds, and there was no one else but you to fix his mess. to instill morals in their minds, and to make sure they grow up to be diligent and kind.

sitting down at the dinner table seemed to grow harder and harder each day. resisting the urge to vomit as your son told you and alastor of how he found a rat at school, and how he had cut its’ tail off to see if it’d regrow like a lizard. the image of your little boy being so cruel made you sick to your stomach. and, alastor, he’d done nothing but laugh. “oh, my! quite the experiment, my boy!” he chuckled as he took another bite of his food. “now, dear… that isn’t very nice, don’t you think?” you frowned. “mmh, but dad said that i should feed my curiosity!” noah pouted.

“well, dad is true on that. but, you shouldn’t feed your curiosity if it hurts other people or animals.” you said, lecturing him. “au contraire, my love.” alastor interrupted. “id say that curiosity is one of the most important human emotions! how else do you think mankind discovered to hunt and cook chicken, pork, beef…” he rambled. “they are good for the body, aren’t they? they give the body protein so that they’re strong and so they can protect the people they love! don’t you want our little boy to protect his friends and family?” he raised an eyebrow. “yeah, momma! so that i can protect you and emilia!” noah said.

you felt your heart crack at his words. it seemed as if there was no hope in undoing what alastor had done. as if the little boy you worked hard to raise died. but, maybe there was still hope for your daughter.

“oh, and dad!” noah said excitedly as he looked to alastor. “my friends think its so cool that we go hunting, and they wanna join too! can we bring them, please?” noah begged, bringing alastor’s amusement. “aw, they want to join us? hm, i suppose we could, but only if they’re as well-behaved as you!” he hummed, to noah’s delight. “really?! you’re the best, dad!” noah grinned, running to alastor to loosely hug him by the neck. “yes, yes… now, go finish your meal. your mother worked hard to cook that, and it won’t taste so good when it’s cold.” he said, patting his son on the head.

you zoned out, staring at your daughter in her chair, playing with her food, and scratching the bowl with her little fork. she giggled and talked to herself, before blood started flowing from her nose. “oh, dear…” you muttered under your breath, running to the kitchen to get a tissue paper. “eww! momma, emilia is drinking her own blood! yuck!” noah called out, scrunching his face in disgust. and, when you returned, emilia was, indeed, drinking her own blood— licking her top lip as the blood leaked, and smiling at the metallic taste in her mouth. “oh, emi, sweetie… don’t do that. blood is yucky.” you scolded your daughter as you wiped the blood from her nose.

“yummy!” she shouted, licking her lip for the remains. alastor grinned at her comment, “i couldn’t agree more, baby!” he laughed, swaying the water in his glass. “not right now, alastor. emi is bleeding.” you huffed out in a frustrated manner. “ah, i suppose you’re right, darling. emi, baby, are you okay?” he cooed to your daughter across the table. “i’m okay, daddy!” she grinned, going back to eating as per usual, despite the roll of tissue in her nostril.

“are you okay, my love?” alastor asked, his eyes moving to you. “i’m alright, just exhausted today.” you let out, keeping your emotions and intentions to yourself. “hmm, then why don’t you rest after dinner, dear? noah and i can wash the dishes.” he assured you. “wah?! but, dad, i wanna go play!” noah huffed and pouted. “now, son… protecting also means to help others when they are tired. don’t you wanna help momma?” he asked your son. and as noah thought it over, alastor spoke again, giving him more of an incentive. “now, i hate to do this… but, if you don’t help your mother, i won’t bring your friends to hunt.” noah’s eyes widened at the unfairness. “what?!” he frowned. “guh, fine, ill do the dishes!” he pouted, gathering the cleared dishes and bringing them to the sink. “hmph, good boy.” he grinned. “go rest now, dear.”

and, as you went up the stairs, that moment finally dawned on you. that hunting with his friends and father meant so much to him, he was willing to do household chores. it shattered your heart as tears filled your eyes— why couldn’t you go back to a simpler time? when it was just the two of you. when all you had was each other.

“momma, i missed you!” noah said hugging your legs as you returned from work. “aw, i missed you too, baby!” you smiled at your precious boy. “c’mon! i wanna play with you!” he said, attempting to pull you by your wrist. “in a second, sweetie! momma has to take off her heels!” you laughed.

that memory was 6 years ago.

[inmyheaddd]

in denial - averyjameson

a/n: thankyou sm for the req! my first time writing for averyjameson, idk if i did them justice 😭 wc: 1k

avery awoke to the dim light filtering through the curtains, her head pounding, and throat aching. she tried to swallow, but it felt like sandpaper scraping against her raw throat. she sighed and sat up, she’d just act normal as always, she didn’t want to be a burden. not today. she looked to her right, seeing her boyfriend's sleeping figure. jameson looked so peaceful. he deserved it; he’s been acting strange ever since prague, always chasing a lead for something. 

dragging herself out of bed, she stepped into the shower in a futile attempt to shake off the dizziness. it didn’t help. she made her way downstairs, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee hit her, momentarily lifting her spirits.

in the time she was showering, jameson must’ve gotten up. he sat at the kitchen island, his tousled hair falling into his eyes as he scrolled through something on his phone. he looked up as she entered, his eyes narrowing in concern.

“heiress,” he said, his voice laced with worry.“you feeling okay?” he stood up and walked up to her.

“i’m fine,” avery insisted, forcing a smile. “just a little tired.”

jameson raised an eyebrow, whatever he was going to say, he let it go. “right," he said, clearly not buying it. "well, maybe some breakfast will help."

before avery could protest, he started whipping up something in the kitchen. he was a good cook, it was one of many things she loved about him. when he placed a plate of food in front of her, she barely managed a smile.

“please eat, heiress” he said, sitting across from her. “cant have you fainting on me.” he looked her in the eye intently, “it’s a different story if you want me to catch you, though.” he continued with his signature smirk.

avery rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped her lips. “i’m not going to faint, jameson.”

“i would hope not,” jameson said as he nudged her to keep eating. “but hey, if you do, my arms are ready and waiting.” he winked, and even after over a year of being together, it still sent butterflies right to avery’s stomach. 

she took a bite of the food, and her stomach started churning. she felt so guilty. he cooked for her, and she could barely even eat it. she was already ruining his day, and it wasn’t even 9am yet. halfway through her mind-spiral, she felt the room start to spin. she tried to stand, but her legs gave out beneath her. jameson was at her side in an instant, catching her before she hit the ground.

“that’s it, you’re going back to bed,” he said, his tone leaving no room for argument, placing her back on her feet.

“that desperate to get me in bed, huh?,” she tried to joke, to convince her boyfriend that she was fine. but she ultimately failed when instead of retorting something like he usually would, he simply looked at her, sending her a “really?” look. 

“jameson,” she tried to prove herself ,“i swear not sick, im just-“ 

she was cut off when jameson picked her up swiftly, bridal style.

“jameson!”

he laid her gently on their bed, and she mumbled, “you don’t have to do this.”

“i want to,” jameson said, brushing a strand of hair from her face. she could hear the love pouring out of those 3 words. she could also see it on his face. “besides, it’s not every day I get to play the dashing hero.” he quickly reverted back to his witty self, along with that charming smile of his.

she only managed a weak one, “you do enjoy being the center of attention.” 

“that’s why i play the hero every other day. today was my off day, but i don’t mind picking up an extra shift for my lady.” 

he never failed to make her laugh at his stupid jokes, but this time, instead of coming out as a laugh, avery started coughing on repeat.

“hey, hey, hey,” he quickly put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and brought her closer to him. he didn’t care about getting sick himself, he just wanted his girl to feel better. 

avery was now sitting up, engulfed in a hug with jameson. 

“you’ll be okay in no time,” he mumbled into her shoulder as he rubbed her back reassuringly. 

“i am okay, i swear.” she managed to croak out.

“avery,” he said, ditching the nickname, “i know you, i know you’re not. you can let yourself relax. you can let yourself be taken care of.” 

“i just have a little cold, it’s not a big deal.” there was no point in denying she was not sick anymore. 

“avery.” he pulled back from the hug. “what’s wrong?” 

“nothing, i swear,” she shook her head.

“tahiti.” 

she couldn’t lie now; she had to tell him what was up. “its just, i don’t want to be a burden on you, you’re already so stressed with whatever happened in prague, and the devil's mercy, just —everything. i don’t want to annoy you.” 

she exhaled, “and im clearly not doing a very good job at it, because insisting i'm fine didn’t help, like at all. i’m sorry.” she laughed, looking down, but nothing was funny. 

she brought her eyes up to meet jameson’s, he was looking at her so intently. 

“heiress, you should never, ever, ever, and i mean, ever, feel that way. ever.”  

“ever?” she tried lightening the mood by joking, she could tell jameson felt somewhat guilty, even though he shouldn’t be. 

“ever.” 

he smiled, but it faded just as fast as it appeared. “heiress, i mean it. you’re the only thing that matters in my life. damn it, if anything, everything else is a burden because it keeps me away from you. you don’t have to be strong with me. i want to be there for you, i want you to confide in me.” 

his words lingered in the air for a moment before she whispered, “okay.” she couldn’t think of anything else to say, her brain was a fog, and the only thing she could see was jameson.

 “okay,” she spoke up, louder this time. “i’ll never, ever, ever, and i mean ever, even think like that again. ever.” she joked, recalling his words from earlier.” 

“ever?” he grinned.

“ever.” she smiled and wrapped her arms around him once more.

“how about you get some real rest now, yeah?” he murmured into her ear. 

he spoke again before she could even think about arguing. “you can’t say no, it’s the rules.” he whispered the last part before pulling back to meet her eyes.

“will you lay with me?” 

“you don’t even have to ask.” 

[enderwoah]

im so unwell about q!pac no its not even funny anymore i need to put him in a terrarium up on a shelf and keep him safe up there. he doesn't deserve any bad thing, ever. i don't even care about "having a good story" or "giving your character a conflict" anymore, nah, no, if ONE (1) MORE BAD THING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA LOSE IT!! IM GONNA START BREAKING THINGS!!!

he's so. sad. hes such a sad character. his insecurities about being useless to everyone are so real and so painful because he's not, all of us know that he's not, but we also completely understand why he feels that way because he's had everyone he loves ripped away from him and he hasn't been able to lift a finger to stop any of it. he's just left to sit in the ruins without any help. he's collateral to all the tragedy surrounding him and the favela 5 in general and he's. tired. not in the way that cellbit is tired (though that works, too). he's exhausted of feeling sad all the time. of crying all the time. of feeling that loneliness that gnaws holes into his bones and settles in the marrow and never leaves, not when richas' bed is empty, not when mike's bedroom has started to collect dust, not when he can't see a real, tangible presence in forever's dilated eyes. the only person he has is cellbit, and he could never ask cellbit to give up what he still has when pac has nothing to lose (and god, how selfless, how kind is that?), so when he figures the only way to get an antidote to the drug is to have the drug itself, why wouldn't he offer himself up? and if that wasn't the only reason he tried to get his hands on it, who could blame him?

maybe he took it first to just feel the effects and understand the angle it took in affecting his mind. maybe he just took it for research. do you think he had slipped by the second time? do you think he took it once and, for a short thirty minutes, found that he could forget about all the sorrow lining his lungs and breathe? do you think reality crashed back onto him after that first try? do you think he was scrambling to take it again, to go back to that...maybe it wasn't blissful ignorance, per se, but willful disregard? do you think he couldn't wait to be submerged so deep that he couldn't think one more time? do you think he was hesitant? do you think he kept promising himself, one more, one more, one more...

god he is so. so sad. i was watching phil's pov, so everything was like a neat little movie for me, and just. cellbit and forever arguing while pac was just sobbing in the background was AWFUL. just. awful. it hurt. (cc!pac was damn good at acting, too, and that DID NOT HELP.) the moment he stepped on the trap i felt like i was hit with a brick. like no, of COURSE we should NOT be putting PAC in a CONFINED JAIL CELL. ALONE. and i know it was for his own good but i still felt so so so sick. the way he immediately curled up in the corner. the way he was crying to himself. the way he instantly answered richas' birthday the moment bad asked for it. the way he got visibly more upset and terrified when cellbit started shouting at forever. what the hell. no seriously what the HELL.

and, like, oh my god, making him the one to solve the antidote? proving that even though he may have fallen to the drug (the drug which was basically created by GODS, by the way, lets be real, the federation is nawt normal), he's still so useful. he's still such an asset. he's smart and he's kind and he's charismatic and he's trusting and he's so so selfless and so so brave and so strong. tubbo put it perfectly. the fact that he's gone through all the horrible awful stuff he's gone through and he's still standing just proves how capable he is. how tough he is. cellbit calling him "my dear." pointing out the fact that he sacrificed himself without knowing he was going to come back. "i'm only afraid of being sad again." "you will be sad again. but you won't be alone." he's so. he's just. he's. im frothing at the mouth. he gave himself up to save the rest of the island from this plague that took one of his best friends and might've taken the entire island if he didn't do anything. under that stress. experiencing that level of loss.

pac is one of the toughest goddamn people on the island and if anyone on that server even dares try to imply otherwise i will do heinous heinous things, mark my WORDS.

[jayladfanpage]

SO. robin lives #4.

going to start chugging straight up cyanide mercury concoctions,, they'd make me feel less sick than whatever THIS was. this was disgusting on every level, absolutely the most worthless, inauthentic pathetic pile of bullshit advertised as a 'subversive' story filled with horrible depictions of mental illness, filled with classism and--- god. idk even. reductive and disgusting.

would love to hear your thoughts <3 im going so insane.

It sucked. No way around it, really. It was bad.

I think, personally, that if Bruce was written better, I could see that ending making sense. If Bruce had stayed as Batman, had been emotionally unavailable to Jason, leaving Jay to deal with the guilt and the weight of Joker's murder on his own, then I could see the Joker Jay ending. There was potential there, somewhere, to say "Jason could never have been happy because meeting Bruce was the moment that ruined his life" which would have been a fun idea to explore. But the way it is? With Bruce randomly marrying a therapist and Dick becoming Batman? Boring. Useless. It says nothing. It means nothing. It's just an absolute waste of time.

I would much rather read a bad story than one that treats my time as worthless. Issue #3 was Bad. Majorly so. But being bad means we get to dissect it, to analyze what went wrong and what went right. A boring story is just that. Boring.

I do maintain my opinion that the Jason characterization is god-tier. It's so good. The problem with it is that he's put in such a senseless situation, surrounded by characters that aren't written well, that he looks bad. But if you isolate Robin Lives Jaybin on his own? It's amazing. It's a masterclass on Jason Todd. It just wasn't enough to save the story.

[elliots-an-idiot]

Dimitrescu Sisters comforting dysphoric trans masculine s/o and reacting to him coming out!

My first dimi sister work inspired by @muffinsin :3 I’m a transgender man so this is mostly self indulgent lmfao, I hope you enjoy!! I’ll do a smut version if anyone’s interested!!! (@muffinsin has the best stories ever!!!)

Bela

“Love, baby, what’s wrong?” Bela wipes the tears from my face as I wept, feeling so wrong in my own body, “little one, come here.”

I lay on the bed and curl into her arms sobbing, my dysphoria had already been kicking my ass today but with the dance coming up it was getting worse. The crimson dress Bela had chosen made her look effervescent, even more than usual. I haven’t seen the dress she chose for me yet, but the pit in my stomach told me it was similar to hers. Her dress, one suitable for a princess, and mine? I sobbed at the mere thought of being stuck in one for the night.

“B-bels I can’t-“ I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself, “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” She looked down at me with a pained expression, “what are you saying love? Are you brea-”

“No! I can’t do this anymore, I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not. ” I grab the material of the skirt I’m wearing and feel more hot tears stream down my cheeks, “Bels I’m not a girl, I’m sick of trying to be one and I-”

“Love, I know, I’ve known since we met. You have the body of a woman but, your blood, it’s not female. You’re a man my love, a real man. No matter what anyone says.” She grabs my face before I can speak and gently kisses me, “I love you nonetheless, if you’re worried about the dance, stop. I chose your outfit for you remember? Do you want to see your outfit for the dance baby?”

I nod, shocked by her love and acceptance. We stand and approach her closet, I turn to her as she grabs the most amazing tux I’ve ever seen. It perfectly matches her dress.

“Bels, darling,” I feel more tears well up in my eyes, “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too my pretty boy.”

Cassandra

“Hey pet- oh shit you’re crying,” Cassandra swarmed over and plonked on the bed in front of me, “who do I need to kill? What’s wrong doll?”

“Cass-” a sob cuts me off and I curl into her lap, the fabric of my bra digs into my back again and I claw at it to take it off.

“What are you doing? Why are you crying?! Also, what the fuck is going on!?!” Cassandra is practically fuming at this point, concern etched into her face. She grabs my hands and takes a deep breath, “Doll please talk to me, I’m here.”

I look up at her and tears well in my eyes, waves of fear and sadness crash onto me as I take a deep breath. Then blurt everything out at once, “Cassieimaboy”

“What?” A smile spreads on her face and she laughs, no, cackles at me, “Fucking-”

“Cass I'm so sorry I've known for a while but I love you so much and I didn't want to ruin anything and-" She purses her lips and puts a hand over my mouth.

“As I was saying, fucking finally dumbass, no shit.” she smirks down at me, and all I can do is stare back in shock "Are you almost done crying? I have a surprise for you and- hang on what?"

"Y-you love me?" She practically whispers the words before looking into my eyes with a mixture of confusion and glee. I get up and kneel above her, straddling her hips. I take her face in my hands and gently kiss her.

"How could I not?" I stare into her eyes awaiting her response Instead, she reaches into her pocket and grabs something.

"Um. I didn't really have anything planned but, uh, well. I made you this." She hands me a small box, a promise ring with the words I love you doll lies inside. "I'm not good with words but, uh, yeah.... I love you too, doll"

Daniela

"Hello, my love!" I hear Dani enter my chambers and call out to me in a sing-songy voice, before throwing something onto the bed "Are you excited for our date?"

"Y-yeah, I'm excited." Im lying, god I feel so shitty! My day was bad enough since the headmaid caught me out of uniform and practically forced me back into a skirt. Right now the last thing I want is for Dani to choose something overly feminine for me for our date today. I only really agreed to let her choose because I don't have anything other than commoner clothing. She comes up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist as she kisses my neck.

"My love, something is different about our date today. I chose your outfit again, but, I couldn't decide between these two! Which one do you like more?" She spins me around and grabs two outfits off of the bed, and I gasp. The first is a brown tux with a vest and the other is similar, except it is black with green specks of something shiny. The dress she's wearing is form fitting and gods she looks amazing in it "I figured since you are a man, you wouldn't want to wear a dress or anything, so I chose these! I like the brown on because it-"

"The black one. Please." I step towards her and press a kiss to her lips, "and thank you love, for everything. You look stunning by the way!!"

"Thank you my handsome pet." she giggles and hands me the tux before swarming away.

[skunkes]

on the topic of talon's design... what's the story regarding the scars? i was always curious about where they came from but could never find any explanation about it.

the torso ones? honestly im debating on whether or not to keep em bc i always get sick of or forget extra details on an oc (did u know al used to have an arm tattoo... i got so tired of it so quickly lmaooo) BUT they're from unintentional self harm, he's got his claws (his talons wee hee) and he grabs at his sides with them unthinkingly when he's nervous....think of it like somebody not noticing they've bit their nails to the point of bleeding because of...whatever's making em bite their nails LOL....

it's why I also often draw shapes on the sides of his tops, they're patches of fabric for reinforcement or replacement... its both a Fix and also a bolder reminder (if he sees em out of the corners of his eyes) to stop ruining his shirts (this was more important when he didn't really have easy ways to get New clothing or make his own if necessary)

honestly i enjoy the character action behind em (unthinking focus, the fact that he has small harm he causes himself subconsciously along with the major, On Purpose stuff) as well as the result (the mending) but I also fear my just-for-fun ocs being Laughably Bad and I know scars are a little 🙄 especially since these also don't even look particularly good on his design ykwim...just looks like when ppl close their eyes and fling em onto their characters 😭 ah well im in no rush to figure it out, he's gonna be changing for as long as he's in my brain

[catwyk]

tsv finale spoilers below. i wrote this during my first listen through. its long as fuck. im dead im ruined.

cull calling out to rane instead of faulkner.... rane is truly the real leader now

FAULKNER......

"katabasian rane? sister thurrocks?" im gonna be sick

"hes basically a cow" spit your shit carp

"people in my life keep leavin to serve a cause i just cant understand" BASHES MY HEAD ON THE WALL

"we must love them for fleein from our touch e must not run after them" oh baby :(

this is actually fucking destroying me right now oh poor faulkner. failed by the world.

"of course i recognize you. youre carpenter's ghost" // "yes. i am" // "that must mean that im being punished. arent i?" he sounds so small and young oh my god

"if this is my punishment, then why am i smiling?" OKAY PARALLELS TO HIS VISIONS IN S2. OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO CRY. I WONT.

his monologue is ruining me actually oh god.

"they invented their own faulkner. and they forced me to be him" THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

he called her his sister...

im sure hes gonna die

"you crashed a car??" // "yeeah. i crashed a car." i love her

"they need to fix you, they need to make you better, and ill, ill watch over your bed, ill be there, carpenter. ill pray, ill pray and pray for as long as i need to" christ alive. i need to lay down RIGHT NOW.

méabh de brún too good at acting like shes in pain im abt to dial an ambulance

EM??? EM MENTION. EM MENTION

ok this is fuelling my hc that faulkner reminded carpenter of em in some painful and undefinable way

"i should tell paige that story, if i get to see heg again"

"OUR paige?" CRYING FOR A MILLION YEARS. AND HIS "HUH" AS WELL WHEN CARPENTER CONFIRMS

twin mouths truther forever

"i hate you too, faulkner, i truly do. and i love you, too. in spite of everything" // "always on the very precipice of understanding one another"

faulkner's "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" is fucking me up b narr the voice actor everrr

SHES GONNA LEAVE HIM A CAIRN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"there'll be a place for you, and itll be beside me" DRIVING STRAIGHT INTO A LAMPPOST AS WE SPEAK

NO HES GONNA TRY AND KILL HER ISNT HE

"yeah. perhaps thats it. do you?" again. coolest fucking character on the planet

"this is when the waters parted, and at last..! at last he understood!" jesus christ. jon ware the writer that you are

"say you were raised in the service of a god of fire. so you feel like the world would be a much better place if more things were on fire" i busted out laughing WHAT a tone shift

"dennis duplace helped. hayward.. dad.. carpenter.. im leaving all of you behind" i am a husk of a person. lucille valentine knocking it out of the park

"best feeling in the world, seeing you walk away" holy fucking shit this is DAMAGING ME.

i wanna write every quote thats making my heart sting but the transcript is already up so theres no real point

every single va is popping the FUCK OFF by the way. i have to keep reminding myself theyre acting so i dont like. kill myself

val saving hayward was NOT on my bingo card what the fuck

"and before she died... she remembered who she was" OHHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDD

hayward doing his own rites of the cairn maiden for himself :(

no gods coming for hayward but "fuck it. this one's not... for any of you. this ones for me"

WHY IS FAULKNER BACK. NONONO ITS ONLY GONNA BE BAD. PLEASE NO

i never realized the parallel between faulkner's gardener father and his gardener god

carpenter meant so much to him :(

"Sister! I love you! Where are you going? Dont turn your back on me! Dont you dare- Sister! I need you! SISTER! SISTER! MARCO! MARCO!" FAULKNER NO NOT LIKE THIS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU JON WARE (<- COMPLIMENT)

THE FAULKNER BODY FAKEOUT. SEE ABOVE POINT

carpenter's scream...... oh god.. oh méabh de brún the woman that you are

"he could be a face from my childhood. or his" charlie.......

HES BEEN BLOND THIS ENTIRE TIME????????????? i should have fucking known

"but no matter how it starts, no matter how it turns out for us, it can end with love, cant it? it can end with love. it can end with kindness." i said oh my god out loud

the delivery of "and then i let him go" why not just drive a railroad spike through my lungs

"the river is vast, and no dam can block every channel, and ours is a world of miracles." i said jesus christ out loud

i wheezed when she just. got back up this old bitch cannot die can she

not nana glass' song............

FUCKING TAINSLEY. CHEKHOVS TAINSLEY.

oh my god. a final heartbreaking credits scene

i had to just sit and lean back for a second. what a fucking ending. what a fucking podcast. this is one of those pieces of media that takes up residence in your brain forever. im never gonna stop thinking about this

[tossball-stick]

personal kieran headcanons 😋

tagging: @aintan0driscollnomore

hiii im here to ramble about my kieran hcs. these r all my personal ones. i hope u enjoy :3

i am not gonna he/him this guy for the whole post so first things first to get it out of the way: i think shes trans!! yeah i think shes a trans woman who just hasnt realized yet. a long life of hardship has left her in a perpetual state of "im probably actually a woman but im going through life ruining trauma so i cant deal with that rn"

therefore....... i think her spending more time with the women is to be one of the girls. its the closest shes gotten, im sure, im sure its probably the first time shes even properly been around women, socially, in years, even.

i like to think her and bill eventually start warming up to each other. a shared history in the army makes her sympathetic towards him, to a degree. i can imagine her listening to him pour his heart and soul out about dutch and feel a little bad for him. especially the closer she gets to the ladies, the more of a safe space she has away from bill, should she desire. it works out.

before the vdl gang very rudely starved her, she was actually a little thick around the middle. in aus where shes allowed to eat reguluarly for a good while, i think she needs to fill back out

i think shes flat out lying about how significant her role with the o'driscolls was. i think she was actually pretty notable in the gang, maybe even being close to colm. other posts have explained this much better than i could dream to.

i also think she doesnt exactly hate outlaw life!! people often forget thst her time in the army "didnt end well," and that after the army she joined another gang that later abandoned her. she seems to lean towards gang life, as well as horse management. interesting!

while she actively pursues mary-beth for the most part, i think she has crushes on most of the other ladies. i think she'd even admit grimshaw is mighty pretty for her age, and that she'd be fooled to find out grimshaw was as old as she was.

very inexperienced with dating. just has never really been around women much, as i ssid before.

i think she has a bitter crush on arthur. gets all huffy about finding him handsome. maybe has asked him for a dance while drunk once. i like to think he obliged her but realistically i doubt it

i think "fishing" is moreso just an excuse to look out at nature and enjoy it, as well as an excuse to ride around on branwen, though dont get me wrong, i still think its one of the few connections she has left with her father.

i think in an ideal world sean would be her outlet to have the childhood she never quite got. based on their campfire interactions, despite the violence, they seem to think not poorly of each other. irish immigrants 🤝

i think shes a bit more cruel and tricksy than people give her credit for, but i dont think shes a horrible person or anything. shes done bad bad things. she doesnt feel good about much of it i imagine. i think her phrasing of "the o'driscolls gave me a choice: ride with them or die" as more along the lines of how the vdl gang members view dutch as having saved their life yknow. kiersn only went to the o'driscolls for food and safety to survive, otherwise she might not have had any.

i think she would tbh respect pearson!! she isnt sick of his navy stories like the rest of the vdl gang is, and the navy is highly respected amongst the rest of the military. i think she would humor him a little. plus, he feeds her. a+ in kierans book.

[ge]

okeyyy...i know this acc is preddy much good and dead, rest in peace all my dearly beloved tgcfmdzs mutuals and followers who moved on to smth else in the yrs since mdzs ended, ....but i still have a big enough active audience methinks soooo i wanted 2 promote a korean novel thats REEALLY unappreciated in the eng community ITS SO GOOD its my favourite novel atm and i really want it to catch on w western audiences bcuz i swear it has the potential to be as big as mxtxs novels were if given the opportunity to blow up...

RETURN OF THE MOUNT HUA SECT (aka, officially, RETURN OF THE BLOSSOMING BLADE) is an action, fantasy, comedy korean novel by BIGA on Naver, with a webcomic by STUDIO LICO on Webtoon

THE WEBCOMIC IS CURRENTLY ON BREAK AFTER THE COMPLETION OF ITS FIRST “SEASON” (will be returning sometime mid 2023) AND THE NOVEL IS STILL ON GOING WITH 1494 CHAPTERS (as of 4/15/2023)....if uve read tgcf in its entirety pls dont let that chp count scare you..rotmhs is a very bingeable novel... while rotmhs doesnt have an official english translation, the ongoing fan tl has 379 chapters translated (as of 4/15/2023) [LINKS PROVIDED BELOW]

MY SYNOPSIS: the story follows the main protagonist chung myung, a member of the mount hua sect who was formerly known as the legendary ‘plum blossom sword saint’, reincarnates into the body of a beggar child a hundred years into the future after dying following the beheading of the demonic cult leader, chun ma, who slaughtered his clan members as well as countless other sects during the war. when he wakes, he discovers that his once proud and respected sect has fallen into ruin during the century following its defeat. chung myung, hiding his identity as a fabled hero from the past, rejoins the mount hua sect under the guise of being nothing but a beggar to help restore the mount hua sect to its former greatness while making friends as well as enemies along the way..

the official (webtoon) synopsis:

When Cheongmyeong of the Mount Hua Sect awakens a hundred years in the future, his last memories are of a bloody battle against the Leader of the Demonic Cult, the evil Cheonma. The battle almost saw the end of the Ten Great Sects of ancient China, when Cheongmyeong ended the hard-fought struggle by striking down Cheonma. Soon after, he succumbed to his wounds, filled with regret at their pyrrhic victory. All is not lost, however, as he awakens to his second chance at life. Shocked to find his beloved Mount Hua Sect reduced to a mere shadow of itself in the present day, Cheongmyeong embarks on a journey to restore Mount Hua to its former glory.

while the official synopsis does make it seem like the story is going to be heavy and action focused, the novel itself is more comedic than its led on to be and its action scenes are rlly fun and exhilarating to read..

the main cast are extremely likeable and their relationship w each other is very funny and heartwarming... that being said i feel like if uve come from any of the popular danmei novels and r interested in reading rotmhs (PLEASE BE INTERESTED) i feel like i shuld mention that THERE IS NO ROMANCE IN THIS NOVEL... its not a BL, theres no romantic connotations between any of the main characters, this novel is more focused on found family and the bonds between friends than anything BUT PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT LET THE LACK OF ROMANCE DISSUADE YOU..

AIIISSHH THIS IS GETTING LONG ENOUGH soo basically here are links 2 where u can read ROTMHS please consider reading it PLEASE bc im sick as hell of not having enough fics or fanart of it or ppl to talk to abt it with..feel like im rting art on my priv to brick walls....!!!!!!!!!!

(official) NAVER (1494+ chapters, korean) https://series.naver.com/novel/detail.series?productNo=4130558&isWebtoonAgreePopUp=true

(official) WEBTOON (73 chapters, english) https://www.webtoons.com/en/action/return-of-the-blossoming-blade/list?title_no=2849&page=9

FANTRANSLATION (379+, english) https://skydemonorder.com/projects/return-of-the-mount-hua-sect

one last also before let yall have at it, if u’ve read the webcomic and dont feel like rereading the entire novel up to the webcomic stopping point, jump to chapter 117 on the fantranslation.. chp117 is right where the webcomic leaves off👍

OKAYYY HAVE FUNNNN PLEASE READ RETURN OF THE MOUNT HUA SECT PLEEEASEE SHARE THIS POST W EVERYBODY OR ILL KILL MYSELF IDK YAYYYYY YIPPEEEEE ROTMHS SUPREMACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if u do end up reading and liking it please god..talk to me about it..... im literally shaking scratching my neck rocking in a corner crying sobbing sniffling snotting

[moonriver0312]

(A Little Life, Part 5, Chapter 2, pg. 602 - Hanya Yanagihara)

Why Schumann?

After some digging on the internet, I have learnt that it is not a coincidence that Hanya chose Schumann's Fantasie in C for this moment, and I believe Jude was playing the first movement in this part. Fantasie in C was composed in 1836 as only a piece called Ruines, expressing his distress at being distant from his beloved Clara, and then it became the first movement of Fantasie. The first movement of the work contains a musical quote from Beethoven's song cycle, An die ferne Geliebte (To the distant beloved) as a secret love message:

Take, then, these songs, beloved, which I have sung for you

However, this musical quotation was not acknowledged by Schumann. The movement also was prefaced with a quote from Friedrich Schlegel:

Durch alle Töne tönet / Im bunten Erdentraum / Ein leiser Ton gezogen / Für den, der heimlich lauschet.

Resounding through all the notes / In the earth's colorful dream / There sounds a faint long-drawn note / For the one who listens in secret

During this period, Robert Schumann and Clara Wieck was in separation because Clara's father disapproved of their relationship. Those quotations truly reflected his yearning to Clara, his passionate love to her, and it is more beautiful to learn that they communicated mostly through music and journals because Clara did not communicate verbally well. In a letter sent to Clara in 1838, he wrote:

The first movement may well be the most passionate I have ever composed - a deep lament for you.

They got married in 1840 but their marriage was not through an easy path because Schumann was not mentally well.

(Clara and Robert Schumann around 1850. Corbis, via Getty Images)

In August of 1844, he suffered a severe mental and physical breakdown. He was in pains, he trembled, wept, could not sleep and even became so sick that he could not walk across the room by himself. By February of 1854, Schumann insisted to be committed, as he felt that he had lost control of his mind. On 27th February, he attempted suicide by throwing himself from a bridge into the Rhine River. He was rescued and taken to the hospital later and remained there until his death on 29th July, 1856. During his confinement, Clara was not allowed to visit him (they communicated thanks to Johannes Brahms, a very good friend of the family, especially Clara) and only able to meet him 2 days before his death.

In Clara's journal on 26th February, 1854 (1 days before his attempt suicide), she wrote:

He was so melancholy that I cannot possibly describe it. When I merely touched him, he said, "Ah Clara, I am not worthy of your love." He said that, he to whom I had always looked up with the greatest, deepest reverence.

The resemblance of Jude and Schumann's mental illness may be one of the reason that Hanya chose this piece for Jude to play after he and Willem got home after their big fight. Jude plays the song with the intention to ease his sadness and fear. In this moment, he feels that this might be the end of their relationship, he is afraid that Willem would leave him because now he finally sees how sick he is. The piece Fantasie symbolizes a yearning for love but in this moment, it is a calling for Willem to stay, to understand, to forgive his action, his sickness.

Sources:

Acreman, Thomas. (2017). The Love Story of Clara Schumann. Retrieved from http://www.classichistory.net/archives/clara-schumann

Wilson, Frances. (2019). A Love Letter in Music Schumann's Fantasie in C, Op. 17. Retrieved from https://interlude.hk/love-letter-music-schumanns-fantasie-c-op-17/

[1eos]

Prev anon, I WARNED YOU THE BOOK WOULD RAISE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE BECAUSE OH MY GOD THE GIRL LIVED AND DIED AS SAC OF DONATABLE PARTS! I READ IT AT 16 AND CRIED SO MUCH BECAUSE SHE JUST NEVER HAD A LIFE. SHE DIED THE MOMENT SHE GOT FREEDOM. THE WORST ENDING PLOT TWIST BUT OH MY GOD. (Also I’m a bish so I was hoping other sister would finally tap out and be like “I have VASTLY overstayed my welcome on this planet at the sake of my sisters health and wellbeing” which she technically was ready to do but she ended up having a long life???? . Also white privilege is that the brother never goes to jail).

when i got to the part where the dad is like 'he wants to be punished for being a serial arsonist so i'll do the worst thing to him--giving him a hug' i thought abt the ask u sent me earlier and thought thats what u meant bc that pissed me off bad BUT IT ONLY GOT SO MUCH WORSE. like it was ooooooooooooooooooooo weird the book did all that about that child having no autonomy or choice just to kill her off and her organs donated without her conscious consent. it was such a cop out. even if she went through all that decided ykw? i DO want to give a kidney that wouldve been a bit defanged on the whole autonomy from her parents BUT deeply realistic or hell even if the car crash happened and the sister said HELL NO i do not want this kidney im ready to go. like its so odd that in this specific narrative the sister is like im done suffering i feel like such a burden bad things keep happening to my family bc of me and then her sister dies and shes in the throes of agony but just takes the kidney.

im just kinda let down bc this book requires you to 1. fill in a lot of emotional blanks. like i can fill in the blanks and say the sister took the kidney despite being ready to die earlier bc she already felt like she had to live for her mother or it would be a waste of the sisters legacy. but it wasted so much time on that useless ass love story when it couldve been fleshing out the emotional ramifications of the ending

which leads to point 2. a LOT of the parents shortcomings are just glossed over? the parents emotional neglect 2 out of 3 kids and the 3rd feels like a black hole that's ruined everyone's lives with a disease that's beyond her control but its quite clear to me the author expects us to believe the fitzsgeralds are good ppl just 'doing their best'. like its sooooooooooooo white american early 00s middle class w no care for anyone but themselves it honestly makes me fucking sick. the mother especially like basically had a favorite child and lowkey resented the son for daring to want to be loved and was clear about how the youngest was expendable. and the book emphasizing on how much she mourned 😐ok but u got what u wanted lmaoooo. like im sorry idk where i was supposed to get the feeling that she loved all 3 of her kids at all 😭😭😭😭😭 and then the brother turning his life around all bc his father negated consequences for him AGAIN. not to be a cynic but ppl don't change just with a fucking hug lmaooooo he shouldve gotten 15-20 years. gotten out in 5-10 for good behavior, started a prison outreach program and THEN maybe i'll believe he's changed.

[stevie-petey]

OH MY GOD THE BATHROOM SCENE THAT WAS PURE PERFECTION!!! I loved how Steve and bug teased Robin about Tammy. Steve being helpless and needing bug for everything, and bug just having to be their babysitter. She's the babysitter's babysitter. More like a nanny cause it's 24/7 for this poor girl. Bug having to scold Robin and Steve, and trying to get them to behave was so real. I just know that girl has a headache. Johnathan and bug running to each other 😭❤️. God I love them so much. They were so worried about one another. ( I saw a photo of robins shoes on Tiktok, it had titties drawn on and it showed how Jonathan immediately clocked her) Dustin being such a loudmouth and telling everyone that Steve and bug kissed. I loved the reactions too, Mike being absolutely disgusted, Lucas cheering, Jonathan choking😭. That must be so weird for all of them to finally see bug moving on in a sense. Dustin is gonna be so sick of stug I can't wait.

Dustin ranting to the party: " I go to bed, he's not there, I wake up and he's in my kitchen!!! He's ruining the sanctity of my home!"

Mike: " That's just sick."

I wanna know how the betting ring turned out, who won? Did anyone? Or did Steve wait too long? Did someone bet it would take a near death experience? If so I bet it was Jonathan.

Nancy feeling guilty about their fight and not knowing how to approach bug. Did she talk to Jonathan about it? Or did she keep it to herself? I'm sure in the elevator at the hospital Jonathan would've explained himself. Which would probably add to Nancy's guilt.

I can't wait to see bug take care of el. You know if El was having trouble bug would be right there to help her and comfort her. Maybe one last scene with bug and hopper😭. But on the bright side MURRAYYY. God he's gonna get sidetracked with all the teenage drama. Like they get their plan ready and he starts talking to the kids trying to gauge the situation.

Once again, I loved the chapter!! Truly the only thing that reduced my stress today thank you🙏🙏🙏

writing bug as the overworked babysitter had me gigglin i cant lie LMAO like she was just. so over it. add the fact that both the idiots are in love with her and boom: poor bug cant catch a break

and dustin WILL eventually get sick of steve mans will become even more dependent on bug once theyre together <33333 and the party will be hearing horrendous stories about it all (as for the betting ring ,,,,, that question will be answered in the next chapter !!)

the reunion between jon n bug i was SO excited for them to be together again :((( its the longest theyve gone without having scenes together i was deprived and sad. season 4 will SUCK for my lil jon n bug heart </3

in my mind i see nancy DID talk to jon about everything in the elevator. after theyve apologized to one another she asked him why he went to bug and not her, and jon would be surprised she even knew about that. hed explain that he needed his best friend, he was scared hed lose nancy and needed advice and that bug always somehow knows how to force the words out of him. that hes not used to communicating yet and that hes working on it for nancy. when she hears this, she understands a bit more and DOES feel even worse. she immediately regretted yelling at bug in the first place, so hearing jon explain that it truly wasnt anything more than “im sad and need my bestie” ,,,, she feels like shit

bug and hopper scene 🤭🤭🤭🤭 good luck guys ! and murray will DEF be a treat lmao