#im screaming into the void with this fic and i don't care

[mr-nauseam]

3, 21, and 25 for the ask game pls💕💕

Thank you so much much bby Grace for the questions!! 3. Favorite line/scene you wrote this year Ohh abt scenes, I like do lot of these, so I wouldn't end to mention them. Shot out tho to You let me desecrate you, bc the time it took me those scenes was INSANE, but talking about lines my top is: I. Me and my Husband:

"Stop acting like my father." Frustration seeps into his voice. Sejanus feels so guilty but he has to make him to understand.  "Because I am not my mother." And there it dies in Sejanus mouth for the one and only time, the affectionate name Ma. 

II. Kill me because I'm dying:

“Please, please. Somebody kill me.” Sejanus prays, because Marcus is no longer here. It would not be murder, it would be mercy. He is dying, he is beyond salvation. He's a goner, the snake listens.

III. when I'm out of faith, he's my idol: Coriolanus doesn't understand her words, until the thing turns around and he doesn't need to see it closer to recognize that face. The same face that invades his nightmares and haunts him through the walls of the Plinth's old apartment. A face that should not exist outside the darkest corners of his mind. Sejanus Plinth. Alive. Not dead as he should be, although the emptiness in his eyes, and the piercing scream that breaks the silence make him believe that he died right there, in the reunion that should never have happened. 

21. most memorable comment/review OH EVERY PERSON WHO LEAVES ME A COMMENT HAS MY ETERNAL LOVE, I LITERALLY HAVE A SHAMEFUL ALBUM WHERE I KEEP A SCREEN CAPTURE OF EVERY COMMENT I RECEIVE BECAUSE I'M THAT RIDICULOUS BUT... <3

We will make a special appointment to (Giuggiola, Malala, Adrianasalas91) known for being the faithful readers of Bad Ending,,,, I guess there are more people who read Bad Ending, but they have left comments on several of the one shots, and it has been a delight to read them every time, I love them very much, I wish they could see this and know that we have them very present with every evil thing we do in that au <3

AND personally an anon who left me a comment on when I'm out of faith, he's my idol is probably THE BEST COMMENT I EVER RECEIVED <3 no one knows this more than poor vico who had to put up with me but that fic was SO IGNORED at first,,,, it's not popular now but I got very depressed when I got crickets, in fact I called it a 10k fail, because speaking of sn*wjanus, I'm pretty consious I write unpopular stuff, but I don't know that time it was... so sad. I felt so much like shouting into the void at ideas that no one but vico and I were interested in,,,,what's point?I ask myself even why bother to publish? but that comment appeared, and I was inspired to keep being annoying in the tag sooo much. Alsooo saechisei who comment in Knock Off, its also one of the best COMMENTS I GEEET <3 25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read FIRST YALL NEED READ VICOS FICS, SHES THE CEO OF PLINTH LORE The Plinth study characters collection The other person with excellent takes abt Plinth Family: Bee Little Sejanus series Then your fic, the sejarcus fic of all the time Just as it was The best fucking snowbairdplinth fic on earth The haunting of Coriolanus Snow HERE... I WOULD SAY EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS ONE but, Im a dove dead fan, I read fucked fucked shit and I know not everybody is into that SO PLEASE PLEAE READ READ THE TAGS, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! but... One of the best Tigris character study in my opinion, and one fo the stories that shape my vision of Snow Family Pretty little beasts

[olderthannetfic]

The debate about deleting fic or not is quite interesting because I've never seen so many ppl come out of the woodwork to say how sad they are when stuff gets deleted. I'm pretty sure they're talking about the fics that get thousands of kudos and hundreds of comments, and yup it would absolutely be a shame to see those disappear.

But for ppl like me, who get maybe a few kudos and a hundred hits? posting to ao3 feels like screaming into the void sometimes. Like nobody cares. And while I don't plan to delete my own fic (cuz Im still proud of my work), I can sympathize with the writers who do. If nobody cared when I posted, it's hard to even imagine anyone would care if I deleted. Sometimes it's like my fic is the tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it, so it makes no sound. Deletion doesn't feel like it'd make any difference at that point. Anyway, to all the writers who feel like this: i see you and I totally understand how you feel.

--

Nah, it's often the randos' fics people really mourn years later because their lack of popularity was because they were for some weird fandom or rarepair nobody else wrote much for. Or, hell, maybe they were for a juggernaut, but they were a trope nobody else writes.

The things people obsess over are often things they like that other people don't. Those are the things that feel specific and personal.

[thesmpisonfire]

just finished 'sink your claws into me, i don't care'

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I love it <3

I adore how you write them btw they're feel so in character and just!!!

'This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Pac couldn’t have lost another one of his family, right? He couldn’t be alone now and…' <- dying literally DYING

'He laughed again, hiding his face on his hands and feeling another laughter bubbling up, cracking his heart, making him lose grasp on his mind.' euogbfaoisfgoiasgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'Pac laughed to himself again, remembering Mike berating him for his idiotic crush on the Alcatraz’ Cannibal.'

'“Rumors? He ate my fucking leg.” Pac smiled wide, as if he was under Risus again.' <- PAC. pac :(

'“If I had been faster to find him…” She said to herself, eyes tempestuous. “He wouldn’t have hurt you, and I could have helped him…”' these two are such a pair I love them wtf :((((((

'He never moved on, he was still fucking stuck in Alcatraz, he was still stuck in that minuscule island staring in disbelief as Mike lunged to stab him.'

'It was kinda funny, how the voice in his head sounded so much like Mike. He missed his soulmate, at least Pac wouldn’t be drifting alone into oblivion. Someone to hold him hand and keep himself afloat. Above the scary dark deep of his fucked up mind.'

'Pac practically forced himself to say it, against all his wishes. How could he say anything else when Bagi looked so sad? She was counting on him, right?' <- pac plese stop thinking about others for once your killing me

'“Because Cell just messaged me to meet at the Order, and quick.”' WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! AHHHHHHHH cliffhanger I love this fic so much I think i might explode. your writing does not disappoint I love this screaming into the void

AAAAAA??? THANK YOU SO MUCH???? AAAAAAAAAAAAA????? DUDE IM SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺

AM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT SO MUCH IM?? AAAAA??? OMG???

[bonesandthebees]

dude now that i was thinking about stars again i decided to reread ch28 (feel free to not reply to this btw hahaha i just appreciate having a void to scream into :))) ) and oooohhhh my godddd

i thought i'd be okay since yknow it was rereading, but nope, i freaked out just the same KFJDSKJD

i even took out the pillow to scream into o77

ur writing is just SO good ughhh and the way you describe dream monologuing >>> that was the perfect villain speech

and don't even get me started on phil ohhhh my godddd, you capture the perfect balance of him being a fricken Terrifying Emperor, but also just him caring about Wilbur so so much :(( AND TECHNOOO techno in stars always makes me laugh i love him so much

i love the amount of reassuring tommy does for wilbur :(( reminding him that it's okay, he's okay, they're okay. it's okay if wilbur indulges himself, tommy has techno he doesn't need wilbur in that moment, wilbur's allowed to let himself be supported. i just-- ughhh i love them so much

i also love how phil gets to call wilbur wilbur and he Instantly just calls him "Wil" like ooohhhhfjwekf my heart i cannot handle this

i don't think i'll ever get over phil calling wilbur "little bird" they are just s o

scratch that, i dont think i'll ever get over *the whole fic*, duuuude this was just soooawjeoaiawef <333

anyways ty for indulging me, im gonna go sleep now and then go back to thinking about glass!crimeboys, glass crimeboys mean so much to me ooohhmygod, just that unexplainable trust they both have-- God. I'll go on a rant about those two later tho hehe

i've been digging back through my inbox tonight and this was so nice to read. so glad you enjoyed dream's evil villain speech, I actually had a lot of fun writing his dialogue for that one chapter lol

stars!crimeboys make me so mentally ill they are my BOYS

and stars!sandduo too ofc. god my heart. i love thinking back on that chapter because it was just the culmination of everything i'd been building up to the entire time. so so satisfying to write.

stars <33 ty for this :D

[verathena14]

i'm just gonna talk here a little bit, mostly just screaming into the void to put words to my feelings.

so i've been thinking about exactly *why* i don't really ship silkali. that may be a bit harsh, but i don't know how to word it. i'm a multishipper, and it's not gonna turn me off from a fic if i see it, but i'm not going to go out of my way to read a silkali fic, and i've been wondering why that is.

after all, i'm a huge soriku fan, i think they'd be together in every universe. and i think kalim is very sora-coded, and i see silver as very riku-coded, so it just makes me wonder why i don't really ship them.

but i've realized that it's because silver and kalim may individually feel like riku and sora to me, but their dynamic together isn't really "soriku"

i think the reason this is, is because i see the "childhood friends" dynamic as something intrinsic to soriku; soriku doesn't feel like "soriku" without them being childhood friends, to me at least. i've talked about this before, and i think that's part of why i'm so ambivalent towards silkali.

i think this is also because both silver and kalim have a childhood friend (though the "friend" part is debatable in both cases) that fills the role of "their" sora or riku

for kalim, jamil plays that part. (though at this point, their dynamic lends itself much more to kh1 soriku than anything else, since jamil being suuuuper jealous of kalim and throwing hissy "getting-lots-of-people-hurt-or-killed" fits reminds me a lot of riku's jealousy and whole destroying-the-island-and-getting-possessed thing) (I SAY THIS ALL WITH AFFECTION. I LOVE JAMIL AND HE DEFINITELY HAD GOOD REASONS. he just... could've found a better way to deal with his emotions that wasn't overblotting lol)

and for silver, sebek plays the part of "his sora" (their dynamic is kind of an odd mix of kh1 soriku and kh3 soriku, with a lot of mutual irritation but also sebek dealing with an inferiority complex and trying to prove himself "better" than silver, and sometimes silver goes out of his way to praise sebek but sebek acts like he doesnt care but he DOES- ahem. im very normal about silbek i promise)

anyways thats my two cents on this whole thing

[sorryimananti-romantic]

*deep breaths*

*fails and screams into the void*

alright i won't apologise anymore that i found this reblog so late (im sorry anyway but lets blame tumblr LOL) but omg. you've read everything of mine now *cries* thank you so much for that! <33 also the annotations this time RAHHHHHH IM BEYOND HAPPY AND HONOURED I HAVE NO WORDS JUST UGLY SCREAMING

replying neatly like you, dividing them into sections bc now that it's been a year horizon was uploaded, i can finally look back to the days when i was writing it without hating the fic (you know how writers start to hate what they write when they write it for too long or is that just me) BUT ANYWAYS here's my attempt to reply on parts that i have sth to say about (for those i don't, it's just me smiling like an idiot like this :') hehe)

[chapter 2]

gaeul fangirling over yena was my fav bit bc one oc interacting with the other? nothing better i could write AHAHA it was really fun to write their interactions

WHEN ARE WE CLIMBING HIS MOUNTAIND FGKHDKJGHDFKJGH CAUGHT IN 4K 📸

ALSO PRINCE CHOI SAN RAHHHHHHH i think san irl is also the type of person to be very vocal about what his partner is feeling and he would pull exactly this type of move 'are you nervous? what about me makes you nervous? *smirks*' THAT LITTLE SHIT. (ilovehim)

and omgg i had so much fun writing that scene where she trails her finger down his arm and gives him little shocks like SJDKGHKDJG imagine feeling that irl?? would pass away right there 🫠 truly s&m stuff right there lmaoo

[chapter 3]

BRO NO don't apologise i somehow made it that way? like it wasn't my intention to give san a little hope with yena i just wanted to prove that attraction could happen even without the soulmate bond and i think in the beginning of horizon maybe chap 1 i point it out subtly when san is thinking about yena and hwa and lemme just open the doc and quote that part

...he helped reclaim her powers and brought her back into everyone's life. Watched her battle her worst enemy who was once her best friend. Watched her fall in love with Seonghwa, the Prince of Dark. What a pair they made-

like the last line where san is like 'what a pair they made' might have held a little sarcasm. he's 100 percent happy for yena and hwa and nothing ever happened but i think with that part i just meant to convey that he did consider sth could happen (or you know what? maybe all my readers rooted for san and yena so much that i began to think that way too- 💀)

the codependency was so bad in this one. and at the same time, it's unavoidable- first for gaeul, but then for san too. for different reasons and the same- soulmates. imagine being told that your soulmate was both alive and dying bc of you?? (wondering if i was too cruel with them LOL) and san is such a strong soldier in this one- never showing his true feelings about how bad he feels about all of this and how desperate he is, only revealing bits here and there *sighs* i gave my man a tough time in both these books. i should give him a break 😔✌️

OMG YES hades!gaeul x persephone!san woah. i see it now!

AND THE KISS RAHHHHHHHH US WHEN??????/ im sorry for the damage it did to you (not sorry) i'll make it up to you by writing more san fics where he's an absolute tease heuheuheue

and yena. poor yena, just having finally found the courage to come to terms with what happened with her and kieran, only to find that san went thru the same thing bc of her (not really but the guilt remains for now) and being the only person who can relate to gaeul :((

[chapter 4]

you done the hj imagery right he's absolutely a cranky librarian at this point and sadly he's the only one who cares about the little details LOL the rest are just here to have fun 🤩

LMAO YOU HAVING A LOT OF WORDS BUT SHUTTING UP BC TUMBLR MIGHT DISOWN YOU KDFGHDKFHGKG

LMAO THE YEOSANG SCENE YES i was laughing very hard when i came up with it too :') and i'm glad you shared the sentiment AHAHA i love the old cartoon like reactions and honestly, i can be a cartoon with my reactions too 😭 here's a little piece about the real life yumi lmao she's a cartoon 😭😭 and yes!! the yungi friendship with gaeul is everything to me they make such an iconic trio :'))

and omg the yunho part! surprisingly, when i wrote that, i wasn't fully aware that yunho is indeed someone like that- someone that everyone leans on (which was okay kinda obvious how can you not lean on him) but he himself struggling to talk about his feelings?? i found that very recently i don't remember where prob a clip or in a post but what i had in mind was that people like yunho who are literally walking sunshines and give their warmth so willingly to others? they usually struggle with their own feelings. people like him hold back a lot i suppose and don't really open up often? and horizon yunho is obviously fiction but with everything i learned about yunho /after/ writing this and with his solo healing trips and all... :(( i can't help but connect the two too ahaha he's literally so precious protect him at all costs and i hope he never loses the unique bright energy he has <3

we're both crying now yeah

[chapter 5]

HOHO NEVE'S HERE WE CHEER

and he's kinda old kfdghdkjfghdaddy it's all the time travelling he's done :') he should stop (i should honestly write a separate fiction for neve AHAHAHAHAHA)

OMG. the panther dimension. when i tell you i was so out of ideas and so stuck?? like up to the part where gaeul goes to the other dimension, yeah, nothing difficult im writing consistently and everything, and then came the one thing i had been dreading-

why.

why did everything that happened in horizon really happen?

was it just bc kieran was lucky enough to kill gaeul at the right time? eh... seems too far fetched, right? if he was that much of a genius he wouldn't be in prison. and then i watched one of my fav shows of all time dark again- all the time loop knowledge i have i owe to that series, if you haven't watched it drop everything and do you'll lose your mind.

but anyways, i watched it and refreshed some knowledge, looked at my universe and refreshed that knowledge, and then reread the whole draft and found sth i could work with

the monsters in the forest in chap 1. why did i write them? i wasn't sure at that time i just wanted to add sth cool LMAO but the what ifs started and i started reconsidering the whole thing that i had written, started requestioning all the time travel/loop thing in take me home, ready to edit the heck out of horizon but somehow, with minimal damage (and by that i mean the going back to edit in the new details) i finally came up with a reason-

the natural flow of time. and what happens when you mess with that. the flow chart linked in the lore masterlist pretty much explains my thought process lmao

AND NEVE LORE AHAHAHA maybe? 😏 as yeosang may or may not have said "time travelling is messy business and shoul be avoided at all costs" (this sounds like sth hj would say tho)

AND YUYU :((( im so emotionally attached to this frienship too, just like i'm attached to yena and san's friendship :( they're so different from each other yet they can relate to each other so much, gaeul and yunho. yunho being the bigger person and coming to talk to gaeul about things everyone else wanted to tell her yet no one had the courage to, giving gaeul her answer by telling her to live and asking where would she like her final resting place to be?? :') i love yuyu sm

and gaeul's character development! now that they had some time apart, gaeul in the other dimension where she would not feel sick (yet she still felt sick lmao) but where she would not feel the pull of the bond. whereas san back at home, having tasted what it was like to be with that dangerous bond and literally having withdrawal effects. if he went into a different dimension, he would have felt nothing, just like he felt nothing before gaeul came back alive. a bit confusing (i get confused too lmao) but yes, hj gonna have a wonderful time nothing all this down :) LOLL

chron, thank you so much from the deepest recesses of my heart, this means everything to me! like i literally spent about an hour writing this and talking about horizon in such detail to someone after such a long time ugh! feels wonderful. thank you for reminding me horizon exists, that i created this universe that i love so much, that i have ppl who love this universe perhaps as much as me, and that i still live in there! honestly, this lore is in my heart. i'll randomly think of this lore or sth relevant to it. and you're absolutely right about this part:

hell. at this point i believe this universe spans past even your own understanding in some form of manifested conscience in an alternative reality attuned to maladaptive daydreams lol damned inception, we might have fanfictioned a bit too close to the orange sun <3

you're literally the best. have fun reading this LOL i love you <3 i know i'll come back to this reblog thread a lot in the future. if you ever read this lore again or have some thoughts about it, i'm happy to talk! even if it's just about the universe and potential scenarios. you're here for me and i'm here for you <33

Horizon

faerieprince!san x oc

royal/fantasy au, soulmate au

Take Me Home spinoff (can be read as a standalone)

series lore

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, mild smut/suggestive, time travel/time loop, tragedy, violence warnings, mention of death/su!cide, past traumas, idk if i missed sth

synopsis: the eight faerie princes and the princess who rule the planet mirinae sense something that doesn't belong to their world- something that screams unnatural and dangerous. however, san is able to feel the presence of a faerie instead and it leads him to gaeul, who came back to life as a part of a darkling's evil scheme. san soon realises that he might be connected to gaeul in unimaginable ways, and the bond that they share might not be good.

-> part 1

-> part 2

-> part 3

-> part 4

-> part 5

Planet Mirinae Map:

[Kingdoms --> star-signs, Seas--> birthstones

(Seonghwa and Yunho share the Kingdom of Aries;

Kingdom of Gemini is split into two states bc duh;

Fomalhaut--> free land without a monarchy)]

disclaimer: the series can be read as a standalone since i do enough of explaining the whole universe at a tolerable pace (i hope), but in case you decide to read take me home (seonghwa series) which is a crucial part in the worldbuilding of this universe, i assure you not much will be spoiled and take me home will still be confusing asf (i really hope so LOL) anyways enjoy or whatever.

status: complete

taglist: closed

[purewhitepages]

The Last Time I Saw Enid

[Originally posted on Ao3 in 2017]

Summary: Before he was Nemo, he was Donald. And before she was Miss Debenham, she was Enid. The last exchange between them was short, sweet even, and not nearly satisfactory.

A/N: this fic is pure selfservice and I don’t care. If you like it, please scream with me.

“Why do you read such novels?” Enid asked, she was reclining against a sofa, watching Donald from across the room.

“Whatever do you mean?” Donald asked. He pretended to keep reading, but instead used the book to hide his smirk.

Enid stood and crossed the room to take the book from his hands. Donald reclined further on his own sofa, looking up at the girl through his eyelashes. Enid gave a small smile and a side glance at him then read the cover of the book aloud.

“King Solomon’s Mines, good gad, Donald,” she said. “What on earth could be endearing about that?”

Donald shrugged. “I enjoy them.”

She sat next to him as she opened the book and began reading the first few pages. “How can you gain anything of value from this?”

Donald sat up and slid closer to her so that his leg brushed her skirt. Enid glanced down at the contact, but did not say anything. Donald, evidently, did not seem to notice how indecently close to her he was, otherwise he would have moved.

“This man, Allan Quatermain, is hunting in Durban when he is approached by Sir Henry Curtis to find his long lost brother, who has gone to find the lost mines of King Solomon,” explained Donald enthusiastically.

“Sounds rather fantastical to me.”

Donald looked up from the book, and realized how close they were. He seemed at a loss for words for a moment before looking and moving away. Enid herself looked to the other side of the library where they were sitting rather than at Donald, and scolded herself for not moving away sooner.

“Um, your locket is very nice, is it new?” said Donald, who was now getting off the couch to sit on the bench by the desk near the window.

Enid’s hand flew to her neck, and her cheeks colored a bright red. She had forgotten to stuff the necklace in her blouse before she visited the house. She felt very self-conscious right then and hoped to goodness he would not ask her whose picture she kept inside.

“Oh, um, no, I found it among my mother’s belongings. It- it has a picture of my father inside,” she lied.

“How sentimental,” said Donald. “How lovely.”

Silence fell over the two of them. Enid passed her hands over the cover of the book in her hands.

“Donald,” she said suddenly, and the young man turned to face her. Enid could not help but stare for a moment. With the sunlight streaming in through the window and catching off his copper colored hair, he looked like a painting of the angel Gabriel.

“Yes, Enid?” he said.

Enid swallowed at the sound of her name passing from his lips. The fact that he called her “Enid” just now, and not “Miss Debenham” gave her hope that she barely wished to have. “When did you say you were leaving?”

“For training? Soon, a month from now.”

“Do write, will you? If they allow you to do so in the military.”

Donald let out a chuckled. “I’m sure they do. They could scarcely stop me.”

“And we will all be eagerly waiting your return.”

“I’m sure it will be just you ‘eagerly waiting.’ I highly doubt Ronald will even notice I am away.”

“Nevertheless, I will be waiting for you to come home safe.” Enid felt her ears bloom with heat, and scolded herself for her own impertinent tongue. “Please promise me you will come home safe, Donald.”

Donald strode forwards and held out his hand for her to take. She did so. “I doubt there will be anything stopping me from having a long and successful career. We are not at war, and I doubt we intend to be so anytime soon.”

“Promise me.”

“I cannot, Enid. Tragedies do occur.”

“To other people, but not you.”

“This isn’t a Haggard novel, Enid.” Donald smiled, and Enid did too despite the tears blossoming in her eyes.

A knock on the door caused Donald to drop her hand and clear his throat. Enid let the appendage fall into her lap. Donald bade the newcomer welcome, and the butler walked in. Enid took this moment to dab her eyes with a handkerchief.

“An urgent telegram from Master Ronald, sir,” he said, and extended the note on a tray.

Donald took it and opened it, moving over to his desk.

“Would you like refreshment, Miss Debenham?” asked the butler.

“Oh, no thank you, I’m just fine,” said Enid.

“Please leave us,” said Donald, and the butler did.

Enid crossed the room as she spoke: “What is it Donald?”

“Ronald has apparently got himself into a jam.” Donald rubbed at his temples as he set the letter down.

Enid made a face at this. She knew she shouldn't press the issue, and yet- “You mean of course, ‘Ronald has gotten himself into a jam again.’”

“Perhaps you should go, Enid. I must go up to London.”

“Of course you will go to him. Heaven forbid Ronald should scuff his shoe without crying, and you run to him with an extra pair.”

“Leave it alone, Enid.” Donald’s voice was calm, but his eyes flashed.

“I will not. I know you-“

“Confound it, Enid! I am not in the mood to argue!” Donald slumped into his chair, his hand covering his eyes. Her blood was hot, but she also knew it was a mistake to questions his actions towards his brother.

“I’m sorry, D- Mr. Fraser,” said Enid. “It was wrong of me to speak out of turn.”

“Please do not call me Mr. Fraser, Enid. You make me sound like an old man.” Donald’s lips twisted into a small, sad smile as he spoke.

“We are not children anymore.”

Donald eyed her up and down. “You especially so. I expect we shall hear wedding bells anyway now.”

Enid let out a laugh. “Not for a few more years, hopefully.”

“Any man would be lucky to have you. A nobleman, a tradesman, a merchant even.”

“Or a military officer?” Enid could barely keep the words to herself. She had to look away before he answered.

“Y- yes, I suppose they would be worthy of you as well.”

Silence once again fell between them.

"I apologize, Miss Debenham, for shouting, it was- unbecoming," Donald said, smoothing out his hair and checking his watch.

"It's quite alright, I have no right to question your actions. You know best." She also checked her watch, just for an excuse to leave. “I will be going, Donald. Write to me once you get to London?”

“I shall.”

Enid remembered hurrying out and waiting awkwardly for her carriage. She remembered hoping for a day when Ronald would not be first in his brother's affections. She should have stayed. She should have convinced Donald that Ronald needed to face consequences. Then maybe, maybe he would still be alive to her, maybe even hers. But not anymore.

[nctexto]

question!

alrighty, so my dudes. friday i plan to finish jaehyun’s college au! (finally yayyy!!!). i honestly wanted to finish it friday, but i fell asleep at 8pm and just haven’t had time to do it since then.

that will leave three more members left to do (honestly still unsure about adding in jungwoo. he wasn’t a member when i started and the world is like.. already a thing so idk. if people would really really want i could try but idk). i don’t know if im like.. fully ready to finish those last three immediately. im still like, decently unmotivated to do much, but it’s getting better.

so i thought about maybe doing winter/christmas drabbles for december? i would make a post explaining some rules and stuff, and then you guys can request little drabbles that i’ll write. length wise, i have no idea. they could be short, they could be long. really depends on how into it i get. i just want to get back into the swing of things and doing something fun that doesn’t really have obligations would (hopefully) help me out! 

i guess im just asking if you guys would be interested in me doing this? i know im a fake texts blog (for the most part) and i also know the majority of you all are here for nct stuff, so idk if you’d like this or not haha. just let me know your thoughts on the matter! or any suggestions you have about it or what not. thanks!

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Just read your post about the stunning lack of Caleb/Nott/Yeza content out there and I get you friend!!! I am so wild about the whole dynamic going on between them. I'm on ep 62 right now and I am losing my mind over Beau asking Caleb if he's in love with Nott... Caleb standing quietly outside Nott's bedroom door... The longing, the complex feelings between the three of them... Idk where this was going I just!!! Am so glad I'm not alone with these feelings.

One of us! One of us! Yessss!!! I wish I had something eloquent to say about them but most of it is just incoherant screaming.

I went FERAL over that scene between Beau and Caleb. I think if she had asked if Caleb loved Nott it would have been an entirely different story. I still think he was just denying it though just a little bit. He loves her in all the ways its hard to be just in love with her, you know?

And Caleb standing outside her door. It still hurts my heart. I think about that at least 10 times a day. What was going through his mind? How exactly is he feeling? There are so many moments around all of that I would LOVE to talk to you about!!!

I still cannot believe that the entire fandom slept on them??? And Caleb and Nott in general??? It is mind boggling to me. They are individually and together some of the most interesting characters and dynamic in the nein imo. Im biased but hey. But there is so much POTENTIAL. The longing. The changing relationships and displacement. The healing and trauma. The co-dependency. Nott needing Caleb to change her back. Caleb relying on Nott early on.

And Yeza. Oh Yeza. The sweet halfling who is head over heels for Nott no matter form or her name. I can't with him!!! And I so wish we would get to see a conversation between him and Nott about Caleb and how everything is different. I don't think Nott would ever do that but it's nice to dream. But he has to know how close they are. And how does he feel about it? Is he jealous of Caleb? Does he feel bad for him? Is he understanding? I have questions!!!! In the end, I think he would do anything to make her happy, including inviting Caleb into their lives in whatever capacity she wanted.

Also ngl, I will sort of die on the hill that Nott's feelings toward Caleb are definitely changing, leaning more toward romance and the like than they were at the beginning of the campaign. I definitely won't spoil you. But like c'mon. And i have no idea how much what people said in the replies to that post actually happened, etc. But I hope Sam and Liam didn't drastically change anything about the story they wanted to tell because of people's reactions.

I also don't think its a coincidence that Nott's feelings are evolving as she rescues Yeza and reunites with him and Luc. I think Caleb and Yeza are beginning to represent much more to her than just her loves. They represent different ways of life, different values, different personalities. They have facets of her in both of them, and I think she's putting pressure on herself to choose. Neither Yeza nor Caleb seem too concerned about that or maybe aware of it? I just think there's meaning behind her shifting feelings and the fact she is being faced with this choice (as she sees it) now. Whether intentional on the part of Sam, no idea, and frankly, i don't really care lol.

But please always feel free to come scream at me about these two!! I'm always willing to listen!!! And I love hearing others thoughts about them!!!!

To sort of maybe hopefully quell this void in the fandom, I highly recommend you read this fic my lovely friend @gelatinouscute wrote for me. (If the link doesn't work, I can definitely message it to you). But it's very good!!!!

[igbylicious]

it’s a tradition i treasure DEEPLY asdkjasdkdjdasjkdas!!!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

The sweater metaphor 🥺 it’s so good. weaters are warm and comforting.

aw i’m glad hehe i really wanted those cosy vibes for them!! (〃▽〃 )

God. it’s difficult to see others living your dream u_u pfff <3

sometimes living vicariously through fanfic is a joy, sometimes it’s a cruelty! ( ╯□╰ )

“so little”  yeah sooo little, like having a loving, mutually beneficial relationship with two adonis-like men who are fun, kinky, and genuinely care about you. Barely anything at all 💅

well when you put it like that… they do bring just a lil smth to the table i guess uwu

uh oh simp alert!!  (<- said as if i have not spent the last 6 months screaming into the void about ateez)

pffff hahaha at least San balances it all out by being just as bad of a simp right back! (╹◡╹✿)

i may be in love with him. you cant prove anything though. 

sus 👀

i kinda really wanna see this, at the very least to satiate my desire to see Wooyoung beg, sob, whimper, and lose his actual mind

‘begging, sobbing, whimpering and losing his actual mind’, you say? noted ____〆(ⓛωⓛ)

hnjdfhjh Woo coming without any more help ;;;; i wanna pet him and tell him he did so good ;;;;;;;;;;;;; 

saaaaaame ;;;;;;; San was stronger than i could ever be for reigning back his reaction asdsjkadsjkdsajk

Oh shes just like me fr fr

ASKDJASDKJ OK SEEING THOSE TWO QUOTES SIDE-BY-SIDE MADE ME SNORT-LAUGH SO UGLY god i wish i could say that was intentional xD but yeah reader at her most relatable LOL

how DARE you make me have emotions in the middle of this !!!!!! (affectionate) one moment im having thoughts none of which are in the bible, the next im all… all,

he’s their Sannie!!! ;;;; true story i actually had to take a short break here from writing bc i needed a good think on how to pivot back into the hard smut after that asdkjadskjkjs 〒▽〒

ASDKJASDKJKADSJJKADSJSDJKASKDJ

i will never get enough of how you write sub wooyoung, especially when he’s in this state - wrecked and pliant. 

ngl he is easily my favourite sub to write EVER 〒▽〒 if that favouritism is showing in the fic, well, good! he deserves it!!! i always get all giggly & happy abt all your reactions, but the reactions to sub Wooyoung have an extra extra special place in my heart asjkasdjkdaskj ♡

need dick from a guy who whines /gen

FOR REAL!!!!!!!!! ಥ_ಥ

im no dom nor a switch, but i can imagine it’s such a nice change of pace after he’s been the one with most of the responsibility so far. (maybe i just assume it takes more out of a person to dom than it actually does? who knows lol xo)

i think that’s a fair assumption! obv it depends on the dom how much a scene wears them out and what kindof aftercare they need; but considering San had to look after TWO tied-up subs, making sure they’re both satisfied and safe during a pretty intense session? yeah i think that would take a lot out of most doms; that man is TIRED and absolutely deserves to get spoiled in return! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

endlessly amusing to me that San is the dom™ most of the time, but also the most shy out of the bunch xD woo and reader are being menaces and he’s just spluttering and trying to keep up with their shenanigans<3

asldjkasldksja i was lowkey hoping someone would point that out lol!!! yeah San is comfortable and confident abt sex within like, very specific parameters, but take one tiny step outside of them and he’s an instant blushy mess („• ᴗ •„)

By the way i'm keeping a doc of all this yelling im doing because i document EVERYTHING, and bc it's under a read-more and i don't want to risk losing it when i inevitably change my tumblr url, or tumblr fuckin... burns and dies. and i thought you might like to have access to it as well! so heres a link :)

omg we both have must-document-brain I LOVE IT, i keep backups of feedback ppl leave on this fic so it’s 1) all nicely gathered in one place & 2) in case smth ever gets messed up BUT THIS IS SO NICE AND STRUCTURED AHHHHHHHHH (♡°▽°♡) (i got the documenting part down, i do *not* got the organisational part down lol!)

ALSO!!! IN CASE YOU THOGUHT I WAS KIDDING ABT PRINTING IT OUT!!!!!!!

they keep me company when i’m making foodies hehe ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

whichever way [woosan x reader] pt10

pairing: woosan x f reader

rating: 18+

genre: smut, fluff-ish, neighbours au, friends with benefits

ch. summary: You and Wooyoung get tied up again, under slightly different circumstances than last time.

wc: 9.3k

ch. warnings: dom San, sub Wooyoung, sub reader, San gets a lil mean here and there but he’s such a huge softie underneath it all, threesome, objectification, praise kink, degradation kink (@ Wooyoung, ‘slut’ is used 1x) & degradation as praise, blowjob, light choking on cock, orgasm denial, subspace, vaginal / anal fingering, cockwarming sorta, vibrator, DP (vaginal / anal), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, a few spanks, biting & bruises, pain kink, dacryphilia, squirting, creampies, condomless sex w/ IUD, aftercare, nicknames for reader (‘baby’, ‘good girl’, ‘cocksleeve’, ‘(fuck)toy’, ‘cockslut’ & ‘rope bunny’ 1x) (+ a 5 sec mention of shower sex (handjob) w/ lowkey subby San at the very end)

a/n: features a soft-bodied, aromantic reader who uses she/her pronouns.

additional warning: reader is referred to as ‘little’ 1x, but it’s strictly meant as ‘calling you cute in a lowkey demeaning way’, not a reflection on physical size

masterlist. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

After your heart-to-heart with San and Wooyoung, nothing changes immediately. Not on the surface, at least.

Like a beloved warm sweater which has its seams reinforced by all your care and effort; it still looks the same on the outside, but less liable to tear or fray. The same patterns are intertwined through your shared lives, but strengthened, solidified.

Of course, the details of how the three of you fit together will need to be figured out in the long run — but for now, you are perfectly happy where you are.

(Especially when ‘where you are’ is, once again, the familiar space of San’s bedroom.)

“That’s it, baby, doing so well,” San hums, enveloping you in sweet encouragement.

He has you on your knees and bent over, your mouth stuffed full with Wooyoung’s cock. One of San’s large hands runs up and down your back, the other rests on your waist. Strong fingers dig into the soft meat of your hip, keeping your ass pressed against his clothed crotch.

“Get Wooyoungie real close for me, won’t you?” San says, his sweats doing little to hide the growing bulge that he’s rocking into the cleft of your ass. “Want him hard and squirming before he gets anywhere near your sweet cunt.”

You whine a muffled moan around Wooyoung, eager to obey San’s demands, and even more eager to get to the next part.

It’s finally time to revisit a certain bondage experiment; to have you and Wooyoung tied up together — only this time, there won’t be any clothes in the way. There won’t be any heartfelt, quiet conversations either; you and Wooyoung had both asked San to push you tonight, and San’s eyes had lit up with a bright gleam that promised you’d get exactly what you asked for, and perhaps even a little more.

Already San delivers on his promise; using you to push Wooyoung right to the edge before San has tied even a single rope around either of you.

It won’t take much longer now. Wooyoung shudders with a choked groan when you take him a little deeper, his chest heaving as he lays on the bed, an arm slung over his flushed face. Your hands rest on his hips, holding him down while you get him riled up to San’s liking.

San’s hand slides all the way up your spine, between your shoulder blades to the nape of your neck, where he guides your head down with firm pressure. You make a gurgled wet noise when Wooyoung hits the back of your throat, but San takes it slow, gives you time to relax and control your breathing.

“There you go, that’s my good girl,” he says, voice smooth as silk. The petname hits harder than ever before, wrapped securely in the knowledge that you’ll stay his good girl for a long time to come. “What a messy thing you are, drooling on Wooyoung’s dick exactly like you’re told. Our obedient cocksleeve, gonna fill up all your pretty holes just like you deserve.”

Anticipation sears through you at San’s praise, soaking your untouched cunt as you whimper. They will test your limits today, just like your patience is being tested right now, needing them both inside you already. The weight of Wooyoung’s cock on your tongue is pleasing — but it is not enough, not when you know what is to come.

San reaches a hand between your thighs and groans in appreciation at what he finds, greeted by wet slick when he parts your folds.

“Is that just from taking Woo’s cock down your throat, baby? Didn’t even need my fingers to get you nice and wet, did you?” San asks, but his hand is still firm on the back of your head, refusing to let you off Wooyoung’s dick for an actual answer.

Salty precum leaks onto your tongue while San still slowly guides you up and down, and your eyes tear up at the insistent prodding at the back of your throat. Without warning, San starts rubbing rough circles around your clit, and he chuckles with obvious delight at your muffled noise, convulsing against his harsh touch.

“Fuck, Woo, look at that. Takes so little to get her worked up, she wants to be used so bad.”

(Yes, yes, you want to moan at him. Want them to use you, to take you for themselves; your body, your pleasure, your all.)

Wooyoung breath hitches at the way you whine around him, but he lifts his arm off his face and looks at you, just like San told him to. A shudder runs through him at the sight of your lips around his cock, plump and glossy, moving with San’s steady but unrelenting pace. Wooyoung’s eyes are watery already, like his body senses what will soon happen to him.

“Shit…” he rasps, his gaze fixated on where he disappears inside your mouth. “Hmnh, making me f-feel so good… Getting close, Sannie…”

“You can hold out a bit longer,” San tells him, almost dismissively. “Need to prep our sweet girl at least a little bit, if we want her to take us both tonight. Wouldn’t want to break her, would you Woo?”

“N-no— ngh—!”

Wooyoung chokes up when you let out another loud, garbled moan around him. You can’t help yourself; your head is starting to feel fuzzy, intoxicated by San’s rough fingers on your clit and the way he talks about you, like you’re his plaything to take care of. He hasn’t even tied a single rope around you yet, and already you’re bound to his will.

San chuckles fondly at how noisy you are, but there is a condescending edge to the sound. His hand tightens just slightly around the nape of your neck, holding you in place on Wooyoung’s cock. The tip teases right at the back of your throat this way, your nose nearly touching his pelvis, and you whine as San presses harder into your clit.

“Hey, hey, quiet down, baby,” San gently chides you, like he isn’t the very one making it impossible for you to do so. “Are you trying to make it even harder on Woo not to cum? Later, when he’s stuffed in your wet cunt; then you get to be as loud as you want. Fuck, you won’t be able to help yourself, not with I’ve got in store for you. But for now… Don’t let him waste his load on your throat, alright?”

You can barely fight back the next moan, a few stray tears escaping down your cheeks. You hear San’s voice from somewhere far away, reminding you to take steady breaths. You do just so, feeling slightly less light-headed and overwhelmed, but Wooyoung is still throbbing in your mouth, so deep that every tiny quiver of his hips causes you to spasm around him. You push down on Wooyoung’s waist a little harder, trying to keep him in place.

“That’s it, deep breaths, just like that. Good girl, listening so well,” San praises you — only to instantly abandon your clit and bury two fingers deep inside you.

The sudden intrusion has you keening, a jolt searing through your body as San forces you to accommodate his thick fingers. Wooyoung jerks against your grip, hissing broken curses as his veiny hands scramble for purchase in the sheets. Your hold on Wooyoung slips for just a second, leaving his hips free to buck up and make you gag on his cock with a wet gurgle, tears and drool spilling down your face.

“Easy, easy…” San’s grip on your head relents, and his thumb finds the crook of your shoulder, firmly kneading your tensed muscles. His cock presses half-hard against your ass, twitching with growing interest as you shudder under his touch, his fingers curling inside you. “Just need you to keep Wooyoungie’s dick warm while I get this tight cunt ready for him. You’ve been doing so well, just a little more.”

The need to please San ripples through you like a warm, soothing wave, but it’s hard to stay relaxed when a deep pressure has been building between your thighs. San is thorough as he scissors you open, and Wooyoung whimpers, instinctively trying to thrust into your mouth, to take pleasure into his own hands. You try to keep Wooyoung down, but your grip on his hips is not strong, and grows weaker as San continues to stretch your cunt.

At first you think the brush of his thumb against your clit is accidental.

Then it happens again, and again, and San’s thumb quickly becomes clear in its intent; to make you squirm just as much as Wooyoung. And when San sets his mind on something, there is very little he can’t achieve.

Sure enough, he pushes you further with every wet squelch of his fingers, and you quickly feel light-headed again. Mindlessly you rock into his hand, your moans sending shockwaves through Wooyoung’s body as he whines and jerks his hips again — but San slips his hand down from your head to Wooyoung’s waist, helping you to keep his boyfriend pinned.

“Careful, Woo. Don’t break our girl before we get to the fun part.”

“S-San, I don’t know if I can— hmgh, ah, fuck—”

Wooyoung twitches dangerously on your tongue and you are not much better off, a sharp heat swelling in your belly with every thrust of San’s fingers until you feel close to bursting, unsteady on your shaky knees.

San makes a noise of gentle disapproval when he realises how close you both are. “Tch. No, my pretty playthings, I can’t have you cum; not yet,” he purrs smoothly, the sweetness in his voice a cruel contrast to his next actions.

His fingers suddenly disappear from your cunt, right as he pulls your lips off Wooyoung’s cock. Freed from obstruction, your lungs pull in air with wheezy, choked up sobs — but your orgasm fades out of reach no matter how much you whine and twist against San’s hold, rubbing your slick thighs together in a poor attempt at finding friction.

But Wooyoung is even farther gone than you; his cock, glossy with saliva, leaks precum from the angrily flushed tip, his abdominal muscles twitching. Wooyoung whines with a pitiful cry, bucking his hips uselessly at the loss of your mouth. The veins in his forearms pop as his hands tremble in desperation, and he instinctively reaches for his cock to get himself off.

San reacts immediately, the flat of his hand connecting against Wooyoung’s outer thigh with a sharp, warning smack. Wooyoung sobs out a strangled wail at the impact, but he obediently withdraws his hands and is rewarded when San rubs soothingly over the reddened mark on Wooyoung’s thigh, easing him through the denial.

San uses his other hand to give you the same attentive care, reverence and desire in his touch as he squeezes at the plush love handle of your waist, sweet kisses on your shoulder. “There,” he murmurs when your and Wooyoung’s breathing has steadied, “now you’re ready. Let’s go have some real fun, hm?”

He does not even need to provide further instruction; as soon as San backs away to clean his fingers with a wet wipe, Wooyoung sluggishly turns onto his side and you sidle down next to him.

Wooyoung groans with a shuddery breath when his hard cock presses against your soft stomach, smearing you with spit and precum. He burrows his face into the crook of your shoulder, his lips hot on your skin while his arms wrap around you. Your body whines in need at the feel of him, and you return his embrace to bring him as close as possible.

Even just a clumsy brush against your clit is enough to send sparks through your body. It takes every ounce of willpower to stop yourself from grinding against Wooyoung until he’s trembling in your arms, until you find the release that San denied you.

Would it break Wooyoung if you went against San’s instructions? Would Wooyoung try to be good and not cum on your stomach, or would he join your rule-breaking and hump back against your thigh, heedless of the consequences? You think that you know the answer, but you sure are tempted to have it confirmed.

But before your curiosity grows beyond control, San returns.

He makes a pleased sound at the sight of you and Wooyoung already in position, clueless of the disobedient thoughts on your mind. “Look at you two,” he says fondly. “I’m so lucky with such a pretty pair of rope bunnies to play with. Won’t know where one of you begins and the other ends by the time I got you all tied up.”

The back of San’s fingers brush over your cheek in approval, dimples poking at his cheeks as he smiles down at you and Wooyoung; and like a fucking simp, you feel every trace of brattiness melt away at the touch. Nothing remains except a longing to be taken care of by San, to surrender yourself to the safety of his control.

(San may have a huge soft spot for you, but fuck if it isn’t mutual.)

San wastes no time to begin his ropework, starting with tying Wooyoung’s hands behind your back. No chest harnesses today, favouring simplicity for a speedier process. San’s dominant exterior softens a little as he works; he is more thorough than usual with his checks, mindful of the fact that you and Wooyoung are already worked up and antsy.

Wooyoung is definitely still affected by the denial, struggling to stop himself from wiggling around; but San does not reprimand except in the gentlest of ways, just enough to keep Wooyoung in line. Meanwhile, San treats you with murmured assurances and calming touches, already luring you into the edges of that fuzzy subspace; sharp arousal blunted by a pleasant hazy cloud that coats your thoughts.

Soon enough you and Wooyoung both have your arms incapacitated, trapped together into your embrace. San moves down to bind your legs, but pauses when he catches sight of Wooyoung’s cock still pressed against your stomach. His eyebrow raises in disapproval.

“What are you waiting for, Woo?” he asks sharply, pinching Wooyoung’s hip. “Thought you were excited to fuck our pretty girl, but I can always do this without you. You two aren’t my only playthings, I don’t need your cock to plug that wet cunt. There are plenty of other options if you’re not up to it.”

(True; San had asked you to bring a few of your favourite vibrators, just so he’ll have his pick from your own personal collection, if the mood strikes him.)

“No, no fuck, wanna fuck her, wanna fuck you so bad,” Wooyoung babbles, nuzzling deeper into your shoulder.

You moan at his desperation, rolling your hips in an attempt to guide Wooyoung inside you. But the angle is awkward and Wooyoung struggles without use of his hands, his cock uselessly sliding against your sodden folds without finding entrance.

“Oh Wooyoungie,” San croons as he watches Wooyoung’s pitiful attempt at filling your cunt. He runs a hand through Wooyoung’s hair in a cruel imitation of comfort. “You poor clumsy thing, need some help with that?”

San does not wait for an answer; instead he taps your thigh, signalling you to lift your leg to give some space. Wooyoung hisses when San firmly grabs him by the base, and finally his cock sinks into your wet heat, stretching pliantly around him. You sigh blissfully at the easy, snug fit of Wooyoung inside your cunt; San’s fingers prepped you well.

“There, that’s better isn’t it?” San pushes your hips forward to press flush against Wooyoung’s, just for good measure. “Now… can you be good for me a little longer?”

He gives a loving squeeze to your ass, then gently cups Wooyoung’s cheek to lift his face up from your shoulder.

This time, the comforting touch is genuine. San knows he is asking a lot; especially from Wooyoung.

You feel on a cloud already and just hum at San in confirmation, ready to descend deeper into this foggy frame of mind. Your thoughts are slowly melting into a sweet syrupy goo, swirling with nothing but pleasure.

But Wooyoung whines, rocking into you unevenly. His eyebrow piercing glints in the dim lamplight as he wiggles, a hypnotising shine. Wooyoung barely seems aware of his movements, a glaze drawn across his eyes, his jaw slack. You can’t help a giggle from bubbling up at his desperation; there is just something so adorable about how badly he needs to cum, and how ineffective his attempts are at getting there.

San, however, is less amused.

“Woo,” he says, sharply smacking his ass to snap him out of it. “Can you be good, or do we leave it here with the rope? Can’t tie you up any further if you can’t behave.”

It sounds like a scolding, but you have been with San and Wooyoung for long enough to know better than that. You can see the intent hidden underneath; San’s honest question of whether he can safely continue with the bondage or has to stop, asked in the only way Wooyoung can hear him right now.

“Hm, y-yeah,” Wooyoung slurs, his hips going still. The sharp sting has cut through his desperation, clearing a path for just enough lucidity to answer. “’M good. Want it… wanna get tied up together even more…”

“Good. Then let’s go on.” San moves his hand to squeeze your hip. “Still with us, baby?”

“Not going anywhere,” you sigh, the warmth of San’s palm infusing a soft glow into your skin.

Wooyoung grins at you with heavy lidded eyes. “You better not,” he mumbles, giving you a pointed look. “You promised to stick around, right?”

“Woo, don’t tell me you’re still worried about that,” you giggle, feeling floaty from the way his cock is filling you up, from San’s warm hand running over your thigh.

“Right now? Not even a little bit,” Wooyoung says, leaving a light bite on your shoulder that he quickly soothes with a light dart of his tongue. “You’re not exactly a flight risk like this.”

“You know what? Fair point,” you manage to breathe out as Wooyoung starts on sucking and nibbling at your bottom lip, while San pecks your and Wooyoung’s cheeks before he picks up a new piece of rope.

Wooyoung only breaks away from your lips to give San feedback on rope tension, or to let you to do so. His newfound composure hangs on by a bare thread, cock twitching in your sensitive cunt at even the lightest shift. You moan into his mouth, the threads of your own composure fraying with every brush of Wooyoung’s tongue.

Thankfully, San only needs a few more simple but effective ties. He binds each one of your legs to one of Wooyoung’s, using a few lines of cord to wrap snugly around your thighs, calves and ankles, all laid carefully to avoid pinching any knees.

By the time he’s done, you are pressed together so tightly that Wooyoung couldn’t slip out of your cunt if he tried.

“There,” San says, looking over his work with a pleased, slightly smug curve to his lips. “Now you can cum.”

Wooyoung’s mouth latches onto your shoulder before you can even fully process San’s permission. You whimper at the bite of his teeth, the rough bucks of his hips, but the ropes dig into your skin, denying you any satisfying range of motion. Wooyoung’s frantic thrusts do nothing but jostle the both of you in place, making you groan in frustration.

You cast a desperate glance at San, but he is content to simply watch his helpless subs in a sweaty, gyrating tangle of limbs while he palms himself through his sweats, flushed tip peaking up above his waistband. The corner of San’s lip twitches when he catches your eyes, but perhaps you overestimated his softness for you; San is utterly unswayed by the silent plea in your teary eyes, only stroking himself a little quicker as he enjoys the show.

“W-Woo, a little slo— Wait, I can’t— I can’t cum—” you whimper, but all restraint is lost to Wooyoung. He groans against your neck and tries to slow down, turn the roll of his hips into something more purposeful, but you can’t find friction, can’t find the right angle, no matter how much you shift and wriggle against him.

It feels good, being filled up by Wooyoung’s cock; but he can barely move, never hitting that toe-curling spot inside you, giving your clit little more than an awkward grind. Faint sparks prickle across your skin and through your cunt, only a weak echo of your earlier build towards orgasm. San had cruelly denied you release then, but now an ominous feeling sits in your stomach; that you and Wooyoung could lay here struggling for hours to no avail, never finding release no matter how you try.

Your head is still fuzzy with submission, but despair creeps into the sweet surrender to your restraints.

“Sannie…” you whine, pouting at how he continues to touch only himself. His sweats are pulled down low on his hips, allowing him to lazily fist the head of his cock, thumbing at the precum that oozes from the slit. “Please, San…”

It’s a pitiful attempt at appealing to San’s softer side and you both know it. He gives you a crooked grin, his hand coming to a slow stop. “What’s wrong, baby? Didn’t I say you’re allowed to cum now? Go for it.”

Wooyoung groans in shared frustration, panting hard into your shoulder, littered with his bites. Again you wiggle and try to find that angle, whining with the knowledge it’s no use.

“P-please, Sannie, need your help…”

San’s cocky facial expression shifts to fake sympathy, his lips set in a mocking pout. “Aw poor thing, Wooyoungie can’t get you off by himself?”

Wooyoung starts to grunt in protest, but you shake your head. “N-no but, hmm, I— I can’t get him off either.”

San’s eyes widen in surprise, the mocking sympathy knocked right off his face. (There is that soft spot.) “Shit, baby…” he murmurs, shifting in closer to run a soothing hand over your arm. His fingers leave a glistening trail of precum. “Not even thinking about yourself?”

“Wanna make him feel good too,” you whine and clench around Wooyoung’s cock, drawing a rough moan from him; but doubtlessly he is in the exact same predicament as you, unable to cum from just this.

“Hm, you know what I think?” San says, with an affectionate smile that crinkles his eyes. “Think that deserves a reward. Let me see if I can help where Wooyoung can’t.”

Wooyoung twists against the ropes, his breathing laboured. “H-hey,” he gasps, “what about me?”

“Hm? What about you, Woo?” San says, like he’s just making casual conversation. He kicks off his sweats and makes himself comfortable on the bed behind you, pressing a few kisses on the shiny trail he left on your arm. “You got that juicy cunt keeping you warm, don’t you? That not enough for you?”

“Hngh,” Wooyoung groans out, though you suspect he has a whole lot more to say. But instead he goes in for a rough kiss, tongue delving past your lips with a frustrated vigour, like he’s trying to use your mouth to keep his own shut.

San makes a soft noise of approval. “That’s better,” he says, patting Wooyoung’s thigh. “Appreciate what you’re given, hm?”

He slides his hand down, just barely fitting between your and Wooyoung’s squirming bodies. His palm runs over the junction of your thigh and hip, until his fingertips brush against your clit and press down. You keen at the added stimulation, body instinctively trying to convulse; but between San and Wooyoung, one pressed against your back, the other tied up in tight embrace, you can barely move an inch, completely pinned between them.

The angle is still awkward, but San rubs sparks into your clit all the same. Wooyoung groans as you clench around him, his roving mouth chasing after your every single gasp and whine. San keeps up his steady pace, grinding into your ass with low breaths. He slowly kisses his way up your neck, your jawline, then props himself up on his elbow and leans over to brush his lips against yours, introducing his own tongue to the sloppy tangle of you and Wooyoung.

Your head is spinning, lost in the heady, uncoordinated mess of hungry lips. You shudder at the glide of their tongues against yours, jaw slackening to grant them easier access, a mingle of your saliva and theirs spilling onto your chin.

Again, Wooyoung tries to rut into you — and it causes San’s fingers shift slightly, right into a spot that cuts sharply through the dizzying heat of their mouths. It happens fast, so fast you barely see it coming despite the long-build up, and suddenly your entire body stiffens up as your muscles pull taut, cumming on San’s fingers with a choked up cry.

San breaks away from the kiss, murmuring gentle praises as he roughly keeps at your clit, wresting every ounce of pleasure that he can from you. You clamp around Wooyoung’s cock, twitching with every aftershock, your slick smeared against his pelvis and San’s fingers. Wooyoung gasps for harsh breaths, his eyes squeezing shut when it becomes too much.

An unintelligible string of curses falls past his lips as his hips stutter and his hot seed spills inside you. You moan contently at the feeling, sagging in relief when San’s hand finally stills, letting you come down from your release.

San blinks at Wooyoung in surprise as he processes what just happened. “Woo, did you just—?”

For a split second, San’s face brightens up with genuine delight — but quickly the mask slips back into place. He chuckles in amused derision and pulls his hand away from your cunt, up to pat Wooyoung’s cheek with slicked-up fingers, spreading your mess on his face.

“Couldn’t even wait your turn, huh? That desperate for it.” San turns to you next, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. “Look at him, baby, that sweet pussy is just too much for him to handle. Such a perfect, well-behaved cocksleeve you are for us, and it’s wasted on that brat. What are we supposed to do now? His dick must be going soft and I haven’t even started to fuck you.”

San rolls his hips, pushing his hard cock against your ass.

“K-keep going,” Wooyoung rasps, his chest heaving with strenuous breaths. (He is softening inside you, but unable to pull out.) “I can— I can take it.”

His words are shaky but filled with resolve, and San looks him over with a pleased smile.

“Hm. What a well-behaved toy you suddenly are,” he hums. “The brat got what he wanted so now he’s willing to play along? Alright, then we’ll play.” San’s voice is sweet — yet you can’t shake the feeling there is a warning hidden underneath.

Wooyoung seems to sense it as well, wiggling against you. “Please, please San, I’ll behave,” he says in a low whine. “Ju— just couldn’t help it, felt so good, she’s so good…”

“I know, I know…” San soothes him, running his sticky fingers through Wooyoung’s hair. “Poor Wooyoungie, you just wanted to cum, right?” he says, his sympathy towards Wooyoung carrying the same edge of mockery as it had for you.

“Y-yeah,” Wooyoung sniffs, but there is a hesitation in his answer, like he’s trying to figure out if there’s a trap hidden inside the question.

San chuckles. “That’s what I thought,” he says, then turns to you again. “What do you say, baby? Can you relax that tight cunt and give him a break while I prep your pretty, plump ass?”

You nod, taking a few deep breaths — but relaxing is a challenge when San’s palm slides over the curve of your rear. He groans lowly at the feel of you, letting his fingers dig hard into the soft meat.

“Fuck, I don’t take advantage of this ass nearly enough,” San rasps, giving another roll of his hips. “Gotta take it slow but damn, it’s been a while… Don’t know if I can hold back once I’m fucking that tight hole…”

You moan weakly, trying to push back into him, but San lets out another groan and holds you in place.

“Can’t rush this, baby, gotta loosen you up for me first.” He nips at your ear, breath hot on your skin, then goes to reach for a small bottle of lube. “Don’t worry, gonna make you feel so good taking my cock, taking our cocks. Can’t believe it took us this long to do this, finally stuffing our sweet cockslut just the way she needs… Just wait a little longer, alright?”

“Want you, Sannie…” You tilt your head to glance back at him, and San can’t help a fond smile at the needy look in your eyes.

“Yeah, I know you do,” he says quietly, unable to fight back the dimples poking into his cheeks. The earnestness in his voice catches you off-guard. “But that’s not enough, is it? You want Wooyoungie too, greedy thing.”

Huh.

Despite having personally provided some evidence to the contrary, you are not an idiot; you understand fully well what San is getting at.

He is just tugging lightly the seams of your still ambiguous relationship, playfully testing its strength, baiting you to reassure Wooyoung. San probably thinks he’s being subtle about it too, hiding the bait in his dirty ramblings. It’d be fucking adorable if he hadn’t just spread your asscheeks, a lubed-up finger teasingly circling around the tight muscle of your rim.

You try not to get distracted by San’s actions and focus on his question instead. You look back at Wooyoung, his hair matted with sweat and a faint glimmer of tears in his eyes. His cock is still nested deep inside your cunt, sensitive and twitching.

“So much… Want you so much…” you sigh, closing the tiny space between you and Wooyoung to press your forehead against his. “Feels so good, filling me up so good…”

Wooyoung shudders at the praise with a tight groan, and his nose clumsily bumps into yours as he finds the angle for a kiss. It’s slower than before, sluggish in the aftermath of your orgasms, but still intense, especially when San pushes his finger inside and sets an unhurried pace.

You whimper into Wooyoung’s mouth, gasping for breath when he breaks away to put his mouth on your neck instead, languidly sucking the sweat off your feverish skin. “Shit, Wooyoung…” you whine at a graze of teeth, involuntarily clenching around him.

He’s getting hard again, his ridiculously fast recovery time never ceasing to amaze you, slowly rocking into you with the limited movement allowed to him. Meanwhile, San picks up his speed when he feels you relax, going pliant as he stretches you out.

“More?” he asks, lips brushing against your ear.

“Hm, yeah…” you mumble, surprised San even bothered to ask — and even more surprised when his finger slips out. “Wha—?”

You turn your head back to look at him, and blink when San holds up one of your vibrators; long, sleek and tapered at the base, with a nice range of intensity settings. Slim, but definitely thicker than just one of San’s fingers.

“You— you’re not gonna?” You frown at San; not opposed but… confused. The drawn-out, slowly building intensity of the scene is definitely getting to you. It’s like you’re wading through a thick fog, only a few strings of nebulous thoughts crystallising into words. It’s a great toy, one that has done you great service in the past, but… But what about his cock?

The thought slips out of your mouth before it can consult your brain on the matter. Immediately, San bursts out in a short laugh, and even Wooyoung’s shoulders shake, his giggled cackle muffled by your neck.

“That’s my eager little cockslut right there,” San grins. “Knows exactly what she wants. Don’t worry, baby, we’ll get there soon. Just want to ease you into it, remember?”

‘Ease’?

A faint flash of scepticism briefly crosses your cloudy mind; a vague nagging there might be some inherent contradiction between ‘ease’ and ‘vibrator’ — and San seems to be in a bit of a mood today. But the thought fails to catch hold, and you nod your assent.

Pleased, San lightly kisses your cheek, and you wiggle impatiently at the squelch of more lube. All this business about your toy is getting Wooyoung is impatient too, restless from what he clearly perceives as an unnecessary delay. He expresses his discontent with bitey kisses, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth.

Wooyoung sucks in a sharp breath when you squeeze around him, an involuntary response to San carefully pushing the vibrator into your hole, still turned off for now. You hiss at the increased stretch, but San starts off with a few shallow thrusts, easing you into it just like he promised. Gradually he takes the vibrator further, until he finally pushes it in completely and leaves it there, nested deep inside you.

Wooyoung suddenly goes very quiet, freezing into the kiss. “San…” he breaths shallowy; is it a plea? A warning? You can’t tell at all, sunk too deeply into your daze to read his tone.

But San is wilfully deaf to whatever Wooyoung is trying to communicate, keeping his focus on you instead. “Gonna turn it on now, alright baby?”

The toy whirrs to life, a pleasant hum against your tense muscles — and only separated from Wooyoung’s sensitive, half-hard cock by the thin barrier of your inner walls.

Wooyoung reacts at once, jerking violently against the ropes as the vibrations send brutal jolts of pleasure through his body. He lets out a strangled cry that borders on anguished, fresh tears springing in his eyes. Jostled by his writhing, you moan as your clit drags against his cock.

“S-San—” Wooyoung tries again, desperately. “Fuck, I— I don’t—”

From the corner of your eyes, you can just barely see how San’s lips curve into an aloof smile. “What’s wrong, Wooyoungie? You said you wanted to cum, didn’t you?”

Wooyoung groans, eyes rolling into the back of his head. He grinds out a swear through gritted teeth, his hips bucking uselessly against the ropes, giving him no escape.

San slowly tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. “Changed your mind? You can stop this any time, remember.”

“Ngh, ah, I—” Wooyoung hisses tightly, and his eyes snap up to meet San’s. A volatile heat burns behind them, a thick tear trickling down his flushed skin. He looks a mess, but still Wooyoung stubbornly shakes his head, like it’s below his pride to cave in now. “T-told you before, right? Keep going.”

San holds his gaze for a long moment, but then he nods; trusting Wooyoung’s judgement.

“Fuck,” San swears lowly. “Could put you through anything and you’d just take it for me, wouldn’t you, Woo? Just wanna cum over and over again, what’s it gonna take to wear out a greedy slut like you?”

He takes the vibrator up a notch and the increased intensity hits you hard, your body trying to bow in on itself as you gasp and tremble, a sharpness coiling between your thighs. You’re clenching down on Wooyoung hard, and you whimper when San suddenly licks a broad stripe up your neck, wet tongue dragging heavily against your skin.

“Gonna need you to help me to ruin this one here, baby,” San murmurs, his voice gravelly. “Think you can do that?”

You shudder as his tongue flickers against your ear; but looking at Wooyoung, it honestly doesn’t seem like San needs your help. Wooyoung looks plenty ruined already; his eyes squeezed shut, face contorted in agonising pleasure. More tears escape his lashes, trailing down his temple into the sheets. Still… it’s a request you’d hardly refuse.

“Y-yeah, yeah I can help,” you say, hoping it’s true. You’re pretty far gone yourself; pressure is building rapidly from the toy’s persistent buzzing. The base of Wooyoung’s cock presses against your clit, indirect vibrations pulsing through the swollen nub. Even if Wooyoung does not cum soon, you will.

“That’s my girl,” San hums, and leans over again to capture you in a short, searing kiss. You moan in surprise, your sluggish body too slow to respond before his lips are gone again. “Then… how about you suck some pretty bruises into that pretty neck for me? Remind him he belongs to us.”

“‘Us’?”

You blink, your mind as sluggish as your body. Sunken too deep into a submissive state to process the concept of someone belonging to you.

“He is our Wooyoungie, isn’t he?” San says, smiling down at you. “Just like you’re our sweet girl.”

“A-and you?”

For a moment, San goes quiet. He nods slowly, eyes intent as he looks from you to Wooyoung.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “I’m your Sannie.”

The moment is so gentle, you would almost forget that San has the two of you tied up in rope, subjecting you to the vibrator with no escape.

San’s soft gaze lingers a little longer, until he seems to remember the truth of the situation himself and snaps out of it with an abashed chuckle. He recovers with a quick wink, his smile gaining a toothy edge. “Now, take care of Wooyoung for me, will you?”

Wooyoung’s breath gets even more pitchy, his eyes fluttering open. They shimmer with tears, pleading at you. “Please…”

Shakily, you let your head fall forward into the crook of Wooyoung’s neck, wired so tight that you can do little more than press open-mouthed kisses on his skin, tasting the thin sheen of sweat gathered there. He whimpers, shuddering under your mouth, and slowly you relax into him, lapping at him with growing enthusiasm as you get used to the vibration’s intensity.

San flicks the toy to a higher level.

“Fuck—!”

Wooyoung snaps, his back arching sharply. Your body bows forward with him, teeth sinking into his shoulder as you spasm around his cock. With calm, amused interest, San watches the outcome of his actions, how you and Wooyoung twist and convulse, ropes digging into your skin as you squirm.

He chuckles at the ruined mess before him, and decides to just leave the vibrator buried inside you to free up his hand. San roughly grabs at your ass, plying your neck with kisses. You’re panting, sweat beading on your forehead as hazy overstimulation takes control, burning through your nerve endings and fogging up your mind.

Wooyoung’s cock is hard and throbbing in your twitching cunt, his moans high and whiny right by your ear. You can feel yourself melting away into his desperation, like you are nothing but a conduit for San to mercilessly drive Wooyoung to the edge again. San keeps you grounded but only barely, his lips sweet against your shoulder while he kneads harshly at your asscheek, like he means for his fingers to leave a permanent indentation into the thick meat.

The vibrations turn up again.

Your orgasm hits you before you even realise what is happening, tearing through you like lightning. Heat pulses through your abdomen and static fills your ears. You barely even register Wooyoung’s pathetic mewl as he cums, or how some of his seed trickles past his trapped cock, mingling with the fresh gush of arousal from your fluttering cunt.

San turns the vibrator off when Wooyoung lets out a broken sob, and his trembling body sags against yours with a loud groan as the buzzing finally stops. You draw breath in sharp gasps, still coming down from the aftershocks while San runs a soothing hand over your arm and asks how you’re feeling. You moan tiredly, turning your head to try and find him in a kiss. He indulges, briefly but sweet.

“Such a good girl, fucking amazing. Doing so well for me,” San murmurs against your lips, a strain to his voice. Then his eyes flicker to Wooyoung, and San gently cradles his head to lift him up from your shoulder. “Woo, are you alright?”

Wooyoung groans, limply going along with San’s hold on him. “Give— give me a minute,” he says hoarsely. “Just… give me a minute. I—”

San gently shushes Wooyoung, bringing him in for a kiss. “Fuck, you really just take it all, no matter what I put you through, don’t you?” San says, but there is not a trace of derision this time, only full-blown awe and adoration. “Relax, Woo, there’s no rush.”

Wooyoung sighs at the reprieve, then glances at you with a fatigued grin.

“He sure takes it real damn serious when we ask him to push us, huh? What a fiend.” Wooyoung’s tone leaves no mistake it’s intended as the highest of praise.

“That’s our Sannie, alright,” you giggle, and peck the tip of San’s nose. “Personal demon at our beck-and-call.”

An adorable rose blush dusts across San’s cheekbones. “Okay, that’s enough out of you two,” he admonishes almost bashfully, leaning over you to kiss Wooyoung again.

As San shifts, you can feel his hard cock against the small of your back, the tip smearing precum on your skin. San might’ve said there is no rush — but his dick clearly has a different opinion on the matter. Still, he does not hurry anything, lazily kissing Wooyoung until he switches back to you. He stays like that for a while, caressing one with soothing touches while he kisses the other.

It does not take long before you start to fidget again; impatience roused by the combination of San’s gentle stimulation while the toy and Wooyoung’s dick are still inside you. Your hips start to move in time with San’s fingers brushing across your thigh, unable to suppress your body’s urges like he is.

Wooyoung moans at your slight rocking, responding in kind. You can only image how sore he is, but his dick still twitches back to life.

“Oh? Everyone’s ready to go again?” San asks with a fond chuckle, and he reaches for the lube again when you and Wooyoung confirm with an emphatic yes.

You hiss as San slides out the vibrator, trying not to stiffen up at the prospect of finally having his cock fill your tight hole. It won’t be your first time taking San like this — but it is your first time while Wooyoung is already stuffed in your cunt.

San notices the way you tense, giving you a few passes with two freshly lubed-up fingers first. “Relax, baby, relax,” he murmurs. “You trust me?”

“Y-yeah, yeah I do.” Your voice is shaky, but resolved. You want this too much to back out now, eager to have your fantasy fulfilled at last. So you take deep breaths, tension seeping out of your body with every exhale.

You whine when San’s fingers disappear, replaced by his slick cockhead pressed against your rim. For a moment he just waits there, his hand resting on your ass and uneven breaths falling on your neck — just long enough to make you shudder in anticipation, until San pushes forward with a shallow thrust, breaching your walls.

Instantly the stretch threatens to overwhelm you, your nails digging into Wooyoung’s back as you let out a strangled whimper. “Sh-shit, San—” you gasp as he gradually presses deeper. “It’s— hmgh, ah— So tight—”

San slowly rocks into you, his lips catching a lone tear on your cheek. You can’t remember it falling. “Stay with me, baby, you can do this” he soothes, squeezing firmly at your ass when you whine in response. “You can do this. Who knows your body best, hm? Who knows what you can take?”

“Y-you do,” you pant. “It’s you, Sannie.”

“That’s right,” San says, his voice raspy but warm, “and I know you can take me, baby. A pretty cocksleeve like you can handle the both of us just fine.”

“Fuck, San,” Wooyoung groans, his head falling back. “I can fucking feel you, feels so good…”

“Getting hard again already, Woo?” He chuckles when Wooyoung whines in confirmation. “Then help our good girl out, alright? Distract her for me until that tight hole is ready to get fucked fast and hard by my cock, just how she deserves.”

Wooyoung nods eagerly and leans in to kiss you, but you shake your head. Just a simple kiss won’t be enough to distract you, not with your body straining to accommodate San’s thick length as well. “N-no,” you moan, tongue-tied from the overwhelming pressure in your lower abdomen. “No, n-need you to bite me, please.”

He sucks in a sharp breath, eyes gleaming darkly. “Fuck, baby, since you asked so nicely…”

Without hesitation, Wooyoung bites down on the top of your shoulder, getting a solid mouthful of muscle. He suckles and gnaws at the skin, surprisingly gentle at first, but he slowly clamps down as you whine at the sharp pressure. Pain blooms beautifully under his teeth, perfectly masking the discomfort elsewhere by demanding your full attention.

Wooyoung groans as your cunt reflexively tightens around him, his jaw twitching. He stays on you for a while, but then breaks away with a whine, leaving an indentation that you just know is going to bruise like a fucker.

You don’t know if the release is a relief or a loss, but it got the job done; the slide of San’s cock has gotten much easier without you even realising. The feel of them both still borders on overwhelming, but it feels good, so good, stuffed so full that it’s like your mind is getting pushed out of your body, drifting hazily between them. Wooyoung laps sweetly at your shoulder and San joins him, angling his head so their lips can meet against your marred skin.

San’s self-control is fraying at the edges, the smooth roll of his hips becoming rougher by the second. You let your head fall back against his chest, moaning in encouragement.

“Please, San, please,” you whimper, unable to keep still. Awkwardly you rut against him and Wooyoung, using every inch of your limited movement to try and fuck yourself on their cocks.

Wooyoung shudders with a loud moan, twisting against the rope to match your rhythm. He is unravelling quickly, while San holds himself together just long enough to give himself a fresh coat of lube. He ignores the combined protests of you and Wooyoung when he pulls out almost completely — protests that are silenced when he slams back in.

The hard snap of San’s hips jostles you forward, almost knocking your chin into Wooyoung’s. San buries himself with a low groan, and sets a punishing pace as he humps against your ass. His energy is frenetic, agitated, like he’s the one now frustrated by how tightly bound you and Wooyoung are, the position limiting the force of his thrusts.

You manage to turn your head just enough to see the wild look in his eyes, teeth gritted and sweat on his brow. Both of his hands grab at your ass now, spreading your cheeks and pushing at you like he wants to push you on top of Wooyoung, his mind gone haywire from the mindless need to fuck into you at full strength.

Wooyoung is fully gone at this point, whiny “ah”s falling past his lips; drunk on how he can feel the outline of San’s dick against his own, through your throbbing walls. He doesn’t even try to move anymore, at the mercy of San’s ruthless pace. Arousal leaks freely from your wet heat, so slippery around Wooyoung’s cock that you’re sure San would be pushing him out your soaked cunt if the ropes didn’t keep you forced together.

The pressure against your g-spot is immense, and you’re so wound so tight that a flare shoots through your spin with every awkward brush of Wooyoung’s cock against your clit.

It’s all too much, the decadent onslaught of sensations that comes with taking San and Wooyoung at once, something coiling deep inside your stomach. You try to warn them, but only a silent, choked up sob escapes your throat when you topple over, writhing wantonly between their heated, sweaty bodies as you cum with sharp jolts, clear fluid spewing from your fluttering cunt as you squirt on Wooyoung’s sore cock.

Wooyoung mewls and spasms as your cunt constricts around him, but somehow it’s not enough to push him over the edge — or perhaps it is too much, too overstimulated to find release. “Oh fuck, fuck,” he babbles, cursing under his breath as San fucks you through your orgasm, wresting as many pulsing aftershocks from your spent body as he can.

“There you go, good girl,” San rasps in your ear. “Give it all to us, every fucking drop.”

He tries to be gentler as your orgasm subsides, knowing you and Wooyoung must be at your limits, but his self-control hangs on by a frail tether. He grinds against your ass, murmuring sweet praises and even sweeter whines as he chases release. San noses at the column of your neck, and you surprise him with a sloppy kiss, sucking at his tongue until finally he gasps and shudders, spilling deep inside you. A few more thrusts, then he stills with a low groan.

San breaths hard, giving himself a moment to come down before he pulls out, his seed leaking out of your stretched hole. He makes a faint noise of disapproval, gently rubbing a finger around your rim and pushing his cum back inside you, almost absent-mindedly.

You moan weakly, the finger helping you to adjust to the absence of San’s cock, but Wooyoung is still hard inside you.

Wooyoung whimpers quietly, drawing hitched, snivelling breaths. “S-Sannie…” he begs, pushed to the very edges of what he can take. “Please, I gotta… gotta…”

San’s eyes widen with a start. “Shit, Woo, you didn’t—? Fuck.”

Immediately San comes into motion, his finger leaving your sensitive hole. He expertly loosens up the ropes that bind your thighs together, letting the tension fall away and allowing Wooyoung to slip out, cum now also dribbling from your sopping cunt.

With utmost care, San gently palms at Wooyoung’s aching cock, carefully jerking him off. “There, that’s better isn’t it?” San says, the words wrapped in tenderness. “You can cum now, Wooyoungie, fuck, you deserve it after all that. You can let go now.”

You watch, enraptured by the slow shift from agony to bliss on Wooyoung’s face. He bites his lip, cheeks shiny with tears and sweat as San brings him to one last high, trembling with every pass of San’s hand until he spills on San’s fingers and your stomach, nothing but translucent fluids at this point.

From there on out, San engulfs you and Wooyoung in the softest of aftercare.

He undoes the ropes with his usual practised swiftness, then thoroughly checks your bodies for abrasions. There are a few spots of light rope burn; nothing severe, but San still smears a soothing salve over any patches of even slightly chafed skin. There are some drinks and snacks at the ready, and you are just sipping on some water when San takes a washcloth to the crusted remains of cum on your thighs — but you ask him to leave it for a little longer, and relish the faint blush that blooms across his cheeks at the request.

“Dirty,” Wooyoung grins at you, and neither of you miss the way San has to take a grounding breath.

“Yeah,” you grin back at him. “Maybe we could take a shower later, get all of that taken care of,” you say, nudging your head meaningfully towards San. “…Once my legs don’t feel like rubber anymore.”

San’s cheeks burn even hotter, and he shoots you and Wooyoung a vaguely cautious look — but he has no reason to be wary, not tonight.

Once everyone is steady enough on their feet, the three of you somehow manage to (not quite) fit behind the shower curtain. It’s not an easy feat to get clean in the crowded space, but it is easy for you and Wooyoung to tiredly lavish San with some well-earned attention. Sluggish hands run across the soap-sudded expanse of his soft skin and firm muscles, languidly jerking him off as he whines and sighs between you.

Safe to say, everyone is fully satisfied by the time that the three of you are settled on the couch in San’s living room.

Wooyoung has wiggled himself in the middle, so you’ve curled up against him. You’re still pretty damn sore; maybe you pushed it too much with the shower, but damn if it isn’t worth the tired, pleased smile on San’s face. He has an arm slung around Wooyoung, his hand resting on your shoulder, carefully avoiding the indentations that Wooyoung’s teeth left on your skin.

You’re bundled up in comfy clothes and a cosy blanket, with leftover pizza in front of you and some old Pucca cartoon playing on the TV. Nobody is really watching, just background noise while you chat quietly, re-balancing your emotional equilibrium after what easily is one of the more intense scenes you’ve done with San and Wooyoung.

“Still can’t believe I forgot to take a picture,” San pouts, shaking his head in disbelief. “You looked so hot tied up together like that.”

“We could just do it again, you know,” Wooyoung says. He stretches out his arms with a big yawn, then resettles by lying down across you and San, his head in your lap as he grins up at San. “And then you could fuck me next time around.”

The thought mulls slowly in your exhausted head, but it does ping a definite interest. To watch and feel how San rails a helpless Wooyoung into oblivion, fucking Wooyoung’s cock into you with every thrust? Yeah. Yeah, you’re pretty on board with that idea.

“I could be persuaded,” you say coyly, playing with the damp strands of Wooyoung’s hair. “Just give me like, I don’t know, a month to recuperate first.”

San chuckles self-consciously, but there’s a little gleam in his eyes that tells you he’s pretty damn pleased with himself too.

“Sure, we can let you take it easy for a while,” San teases, but then he sighs, a wistful look in his eyes. “Just too bad I can’t fuck you both at once. Only thing that could’ve made tonight even better.”

“I mean, I feel like there’s options for that,” Wooyoung says, tapping his bottom lip. “Take turns or something, and there’s plenty of toys to play with.”

“Yeah, maybe we can get San one of those clone-a-willy kits,” you suggest casually.

“Clone a what now??” San chokes on a cough, his eyes widened in shock as his face goes bright red again.

“Good thinking! We can add a fourth to the mix, strap San’s dick-clone on them, problem solved.”

“You’re a problem,” San says, pouting at you and Wooyoung. “You guys are missing the point, then it wouldn’t be me—”

“Okay, so we find a Choi San lookalike to impersonate you,” you shrug. “Problem solved now?”

San groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Seriously? Can someone please remind me why I put up with you two?”

You giggle at his exasperation. “Because you’re our Sannie, remember? You promised me.” You do reach up to gently squeeze his wrist, his warm hand still resting on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I am,” San says with a long-suffering sigh. “Guess I’m stuck with you.”

But his actions belie his words as he rubs your shoulder affectionately and pulls Wooyoung closer into his lap. Wooyoung winks up at you, and you grin back, shuffling a little closer so you can lean against San.

The three of you recover from the scene in the emotional safety of each others’ company, finding yourselves bound together all the more closely for it; even after the ropes have come off.

[bea28]

All for the game fanfics

Artist: mzer_8 - original artists post

aka andreil

( got a second post! go see it HERE - and a third one HERE)

✔️ read

🔜 want to read

➰ read but the fic isn’t finished

Series:

On the tip of my tongue - by Willow_bird

Say something ✔️

Hearts in Hands ✔️

It Must Be Witchcraft ✔️

bite your tongue ✔️

TFW There's a Gaysplosion and you were NOT invited! (How Rude!) ✔️

it's the fear that will follow you ✔️

i won't say we aren't family ✔️

let them hear me shout (for you) ✔️

Festive FEELINGS! (Oh, and shopping) ✔️

Lessons in Cartography - by crazy_like_a

Lessons in Cartography ✔️

The Cartographer and the World ✔️

Tell the world im coming home - by animosities

Tell the world im coming home 🔜

Shut up, this is love - by lady_flash

I wanna get better ✔️ so fucking gooood

Wake up to Your Sunset ➰ the cutest

Fix our broken pieces one at the time ✔️a good one

Yes yes and yes - by elesary

27 to 0 ✔️ HAHA its good tho

Screaming Color

Wear me Well

bizarrefields' orphaned works - by bizarrefields (orphan_account)

Walking a Tightrope

bloom

baby, baby

AFTG drables - by Fortheloveofexy

Sweet Enough to Eat ✔️ bshsb sweet, love it

Your Hand In Mine✔️ sweet

A Quiet Self-Destruction ✔️ THATS cute

Lay Your Head Down ✔️ cute

Neil's Dummy Thicc Emo BF ✔️ HAHA

Laid To Rest ✔️ it’s a good one

Tell Me Where To Touch You ✔️ LOVE IT

Call Me By Your Name ✔️ smutty but also cute

California Blaze ✔️

Safe With You ✔️ CUTE AS SHIT

Don't Let Me Go ✔️ AAAAH

Catdrew Meowyard

Out of the Ashes - by puddlejumper99 🔜

Pressure Points

Flatline

Borrowed Time

Solos:

never fallen (from quite this high) ✔️ perfect !!!!!!!!

Unfriendly Faces ✔️

Better than a Blanket, Your Coat ✔️

April Showers ✔️

Secondhand Lovers ✔️

The Scrapbook ✔️

mark me, make me yours ✔️

Baltimore Blues ✔️

Bad Dream ✔️

Knights of the Fox Table 🔜

take care of all the lonely souls 🔜

The scrapbook ✔️

Fall Apart In My Arms ✔️ so sweeeet

don't break your hands, i'll hold them ✔️ aaargh cute

Martyrs, Monsters, and Madness ✔️

Comfort In Pain ✔️

Give Me A Sign ✔️

Letters From Abram

light fires at night (to push back the void) 🔜

When the waves crash on the shore. ✔️

Of Monsters and Pain 🔜

One Thing Right

it starts like this ✔️ kandreil kinda confusing but alright

Late Night, Welcome Home

Two Roads Diverged

Falling ✔️ cute

Simplified Pipedreams

Like Real People Do ✔️ cutee

five times.✔️ the last one is the cutest

saturated sunrise

would it be enough (if i could never give you piece)✔️ also cuute

One Hundred ✔️ supah cute

it's a night for running (away from your problems and possibly the law) ✔️

Nap Time is Best Time✔️ haha funny and cute

ocean eyes

Thicker than blood✔️

Achilles come down

Hold it together (Until you can’t)✔️

The Other Side Of Nothing ✔️ kandreil really good :)

Worth it ✔️ such a sweet fluff

I wish i were fine, i thought i was ✔️ cute

[stilinskiderek]

just gonna jump the gun on the ask game - 01 for our favorite teen wolfs

OH LETS GOOOOO this took me a while to answer because i have been formulating . i've been ideating. none of this will be a shock . but i have so much to say.

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: DEREK HALE completely unsurprisingly. Literally from season 1 episode 1. I love him so much.

Least Favorite character: THEO RAEKEN Even in my rewatch I didn't like him, which makes him okay as a villain but I don't even really like him as a villain. also started my teen wolf rewatch when i was rewatching pll and kept calling him mike.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): STEREK literally from day 1 also. The only fic i read for teen wolf is sterek. SCISAAC also from the first time i watched the show. there's something so special to me about scott and isaac together i love them so much STALIA i didn't actually like them together when i first watched the show but rewatching it??? holy shit. they were so so so so good for each other and it broke my heart when they broke up. one of the scenes in s5 where malia says she knows stiles had to kill one of the chimeras but 'it didn't matter' /didn't affect how much she cared about him so she didn't bring it up??? holy shit. that paired with 'i would never leave without you' GOD I LOVE MALIA TATE STYDIA spoilers for a show that ended in 2017 but i did in fact cry when they ended up together. dont forget i love you?? bitch im going to scream ALLYDIA i got one of my friends to start teen wolf and they sent me a message like midway through season 1 and said 'do people ship allison and lydia?" and the answer is yes. me. i'm people.

Character I find most attractive: DEREK HALE also 'character most frequently covered in blood' and 'character most likely to be in distress'

Character I would marry: DEREK HALE i mean. come on.

Character I would be best friends with: ISAAC LAHEY he is SO important to me and i loved him even more with rewatching the show. someone please be nice to him.

a random thought:

An unpopular opinion: I FUCKING LOVE SCOTT MCCALL . i know a lot of people dont! i understand! but i love him so much. scott is probably my second favorite character in the show. he is . chefs kiss. a lot of that also comes from loving tyler posey. + i am GENUINELY excited for the movie. I know most people are not! i am. if you ask yourself 'who asked for this movie?' the answer is tumblr user stilinskiderek. i asked.

My Canon OTP: STALIA not a ship that lasted but my favorite canon ship ever. i loved them together so so much and i missed their dynamic in season 6

My Non-canon OTP: SCISAAC HEAR ME OUT i know i have a sterek url i also love sterek BUT i think Scisaac could've been made canon so easily whereas sterek couldn't have. I GENUINELY think if Isaac was a female character he would've ended up with Scott. Their personalities worked so so well together and I really think they could've been canon!!!

Most Badass Character: DEREK HALE like for the sheer number of times this man has brushed death and survived. jesus CHRIST.

Most Epic Villain: VOID!STILES the other characters having to fight with a person they were FRIENDS WITH?? stiles is scott's BROTHER like holy SHIT. god. the emotional turmoil. dylan obrien killed it. the divine move is one of my favorite episodes of the entire show.

Pairing I am not a fan of: DRAEDEN it just felt...out of nowhere? and kind of weird? i think because season 4 was when hoechlin wasn't a series regular anymore so derek wasn't a key character in every episode it felt like their relationshp was super rushed and just. didn't fit either one of their characterizations.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): DEREK HALE i could talk about this until the cows come home. i think that derek was not treated with any sort of importance despite being a main character, and i don't think the literal trauma and abuse he suffered at the hands of kate argent was ever properly addressed. a lot of his actions and the way he treats people are obviously based in that experience but there was absolutely NO attempt at resolving it or even really acknowledging it. It should've been something, especially in season 4 with kate coming back, but it wasn't. i'm never going to not be mad about it. in that same vein, i think derek and isaac's relationship could've been way more impactful if the writers gave a fuck about derek. with the other hale betas in s2, jackson, erica, and boyd all have 'real'/biological families they can go home to. jackson's might not be great but he still has somewhere else to go. the only person isaac had was derek, which puts derek begrudgingly into this older brother/dad role for isaac that could've been incredible HAD THE WRITERS DONE ANYTHING WITH IT!! clearly isaac is living in the loft with derek but ?? that's all we ever get. what could've been a really great found family moment was absolutely nothing, and watching the scene in s3 where derek is terrified of the alpha pack coming for him TO THE POINT WHERE HE SENDS ISAAC AWAY TO KEEP ISAAC SAFE makes me so mad because if that relationship had been developed that scene would've been even MORE heartbreaking. isaac is being sent away by the only person he has in the world and that hurts but derek should've also been hurting because he's trying to protect this kid he took in but he can't explain it to him and i just. it could've been the bella/charlie scene in twilight but it wasn't!!!

Favourite Friendship: SCOTT/STILES stiles has scott's back through literally everything and god the scene in motel california with the flare breaks me every single time.

Character I most identify with: LYDIA okay this was hard for me to answer because i identify with a lot of them but in different ways?? then i remembered one time my friend sophie asked me to pick a teen wolf sun/moon/rising sign which i think fits this question. my rising sign is Scott, my moon sign is Lydia, and my rising sign is Malia. I think out of all of them I identify the most with Lydia!! i love her.

Character I wish I could be: DANNY I just want to be adjacent to all of the chaos and observe from afar. the way he knew about the werewolves because nobody can whisper in beacon hills is so special to me. i also love that he's the singular side character who was not made supernatural and did not die, just vibed the entire time.

[psychomachy-ador]

lypophrenia   ( Michael Myers x Y/n)

Hi! Im new to writing fics like these and putting it out for people to see, this is my first fic so its not the best but I wrote it during a depressive episode a while back. I wanted to give it a chance to see the light of day and let ya’ll be the judge! If i made any errors, offended anyone or any type of criticism please let me know and ill work it to your favor ^.^ Please enjoy. 

-------------------------------------------------------

Hes standing in my doorway, only the moonlight shining from my window illuminating him. I stay lying in bed just staring back.

I should scream, hop on my heels, anything to stop what could be my demise but...I can't. This episode has gotten such a tight hold that my body feels too heavy, that even the idea of this being the end feels as though I'm being wrapped in a warm blanket full of comfort.

The faintest of smiles begins to tug at my mouth.

He tilts his head, not moving from his spot yet but makes his knife known by lifting it, the beam of the moon bouncing off of it. Run to your opened window, scream for help, get the fuck out of your head, he will fucking kill you! I closed my eyes instead; I haven't felt a reason to be alive since I was a child if anything this death was a long time coming...no one to mourn me anyways. These few weeks the only thought that has drifted through my mind is how I've lived past my expiration date, not long before I awoke to this horrifying figure I've seen on the news, I numbed away my hellish cherubs with tequila and tranquilizers a taste of nostalgic fire, a feeling of a mother's arms wrapped around her babe after they fell of their bicycle. The fire has burnt my drive to ashes, emptiness morphing this terrifying shape into an angel gliding towards me. He stands over me, our eyes locking us into a moment...those beautiful eyes void of emotion, like a fire I want to get lost in.

  In a fluster, I clear my throat averting my eyes away from the shape. “Hey... if you're here to kill me, I want to say I forgive you...Make it quick is all I beg.”  

Despite the cement feeling coursing throughout me, I stretch my hand out to him with only love in my eyes.

He stared at me for a significant amount of time, enough time to feel pins n needles in my arm, but before it dropped, he took my hand with a grip of death. I sucked in a shaky breath and pull him close towards my face, placing my hand on the cheek of his mask and I stare into the void of his eyes. Eyes igniting the warmth I crave to feel most of my living years eyes I couldn’t break away not wanting to break away... What the fuck am I doing? The fuck am I saying...?  

He pulls abit away to meet my gaze again, his eyes Un wavered with a stoic mask but all I can care about is this tragedy, a blissful tragedy that my foggy mind is praying for. He brings his knife to the side of my neck and slightly prods in, enough that I can feel blood threatening to spill.  

Wincing, shutting my eyes and letting my hand slip away from his mask.  

This is it; this is what I've been scared to do ... what I couldn't bring myself to do... what if-

The feeling of the blade becomes absent, I open my eyes locking to another gaze. "What's wrong? Is it because I'm not fighting or..."a cruel thought crosses my mind causing a sad laugh to leave my mouth as the tears form in my eyes " you also believe I'm not worth it, huh? I don't blame ya; That makes two of us."  

Only response is the grip on his knife tightened, blushed knuckles lightening to white

Either I pissed this guy off by talking or his restraint is wearing thin. Both the same really  

I don’t care anymore though, if he is not here to end my suffering but indulge in his games, I have no interest... scoffing I break away our gaze to face my body towards the wall opposite of him. “Goodnight, Michael.” the last I remember he didn’t leave, the feeling of his presence in my room lulled me to sleep.  

Eyes fluttering open as memories flood in, I shot up looking around my surrounding  

The bastard didn’t kill me after all, I can't tell if the annoyance is from that action alone or because in the back of my mind, I hoped he’d still be here. Smacking myself, I groan into my hands, “of all the things in your life right now don’t add romanticize a killer now.” I swung my legs off my bed and after a 20-minute pep talk, I got up and wondered around my space to see if maybe I had just dreamt everything. Hoping, that it was all a hallucination

Everything on the upper floor seemed untouched, but once I reached the bottom of the staircase, I am gifted the view of my front door wide open, the strong autumn wind inviting leaves inside.  

Huh... The Michael Myers didn't kill me.  

A smile threatening to widen only to drop quickly. Fuck! The Michael Myers didn’t kill me! Is that a good thing? A bad thing? Shit! Hesitantly stepping to the opening of the door thoughts race through my mind.

The feeling of fear and my already torturous anxiety tightens my chest but this faint warmth behind it causes a hopeful idea to take solace.  

Maybe, just maybe, someone actually gives a shit about me... whether it be embodiment of terror.  

[elle-smells]

Listen even though we all know Im obviously the edgiest bitch on this site, I’m gonna get a little sentimental for a sec. This year has been a train wreck but you were part of the reason why it was bearable

@suburbanenigma carmen we were mutuals for like 5 minutes and we were sending memes and being chaotic ksjdjsksks bro I can't believe I've only known you for less than 2 months. You literally listen to every single one of my breakdowns and I love seeing your crack posts on my dash. Thank you for being the edgy energy I need 😌❤️ I love you bitch 🐔(thanks CL)

@lesbeanfatou bitch I remember at the start of the year I kept wondering who this person was that was liking all my posts and it turns out it was a one direction obssesed girl that would become my favourite Les🐝an with the best memes on the internet skdnskdns (you were like my first mutual I think) Anygay- I love you bitch and I hope we get to share more tipsy stories in 2021 (drink responsibly kids)

@kieumyfatous SAMMM I LOVE YOU AND OUR LOVE FOR MUSICALS. Josie and Penny are canon in our hearts 😌💓. You're literally a drop of sunshine and fuck timezones bcs I don't get to see you as often but when I do it's the best time and I love you.

@helmtaryn Aurore thanks for caring about my sleep schedule and my eyesight skskdjdjdjdj dude being your diary is so much fun skdndndn your GIFs are so creative also fuck Skam fr colouring and Photoshop 😌😌you also listen to every one of shit posts and I love you for it ❤️

And here's to every other mutual in the tiktok skdnsks

@cr1spyy Fernanda I wanna be you when I grow up no joke you're awesome ksnddjk (ps sorry you have to deal with Skam on your dash skdndj) // @alexiaugustin Viv your hot takes are the best things on these site, istg everytime I'm 👁️👄👁️ // @sassy-sara bro you're always here and it's such a fun time I love it // @robbesdriesen seriously your fics were one of my favourite parts of 2020 (the talent-) thanks :) // @engelkeijsers mareee bro honestly you fill my dash with joy // @sundaymorninghangover I just see your posts and go "same" and it's amazing // @feeling-kinda-so-so ok I know you're leaving and I'm :((( but still thank you for making my dash a great place to be in <3 // @theflowerisblue we don't really talk but I appreciate you and your posts anyway :) // @ghosttotheparty and @earthling-isa same thing as the previous one, I really do appreciate any interactions we've had <3

Edit: @wilsonsmercer ok OK I SCREENSHOTED YOUR TUMBLR, it was in my camera roll but then I must've lost it bcs it's not in the tiktok but anyways, I'M SORRY, thank you to you too for providing amazing content and for being absolutely amazing Ily ❤️

And Honestly so many more ppl that I'm probably forgetting and sorry if I did but this blog and you have made this year so much better you have no idea. Thanks for listening to me scream into the void that is Tumblr, I don't even remember what I did with my emotions before this blog skdjdkdjdb but anygay- Let's hope for more character development in 2021 😌✌️

[heirxann]

Like Real People Do

a / n ; so this fic is a looooong time coming because i keep asking for updates on the reinerin situation. ANYWAY, HERE Y’ALL GO. this is basically...where these two fucking IDIOTS are a this point in time. also this fic is long as hell and im angry about it. 2,500 words. anyway @konigreich here’s our idiots. this one’s for you.

Erin wasn't sure what she had been thinking. Reiner wasn’t sure what he had been thinking either. She asked him out. On a date. He agreed to go. On a date. They don’t do dates. In fact, neither of them were sure if they had ever been on an actual date before. Reiner was skeptical, but Erin remained positive. It wouldn’t be that difficult. They would go out to dinner and talk like real people do. Everything would be fine in the end.

It was a disaster.

Now, here they sat in her car in silence. She didn't tell him where they were driving to, but he could tell that they were no longer headed back to her apartment. He had hoped that maybe they would just sleep with each other and forget everything that happened. That maybe things could just go back to the way they were and they'd never have to talk about their feelings or dating ever again. That was wishful thinking on his part.

Instead, Erin drove to a field unfamiliar to him. He had never been this far outside of her city before. She pulled off to the side of the road. There were no lights that lit the road, but the moon seemed to light the sky. After a moment of pure silence, Erin sighed and looked at him. And he looked at her. And she felt that twinge of guilt. She couldn’t help but think about how she forced him to do this. She asked him to go out with her. Maybe he felt obligated; like he owed her for leaving her high and dry with no explanation. She hoped — God she hoped — that wasn’t the case. That maybe he was curious about what was there between him. That maybe, just maybe, he felt the same.

She signaled for him to get out the car and he followed her. The field was pitch black. All that was illuminating them were the millions of stars in the sky and the moon. It was silent, save for the grasshoppers singing into the night. She looked at him again and there was that same look on his face. The look he held all night through their painfully awkward date. He was holding back. He’s been holding back since he apologized. She knew it wasn’t right.

That was why she brought him here. That’s why they were in a field, just the two of them. So he wouldn’t have to hold back anymore. She came here plenty of times when she needed to let it out. To scream in a field where you won’t be judged, where you won’t be judged. Stars don’t judge you when you scream in pain or cry to the heavens. She had learned that on her own. Now, it was Reiner’s turn to learn that same lesson.

“I want you to scream.” she told him. For a moment he tried to interrupt her, but she stopped him again and firmly held her ground. “I want you to scream into that field. I want you to let it out, Reiner. I don’t want you to hold back from me anymore. You can’t just bottle it up and I won’t let you anymore. You need to do this. Please. If not for me, do it for yourself.”

He knew he couldn’t argue with her. She was only trying to help him. She didn’t ask for him to open up or tell her what was wrong. She only wanted him to yell. He thought it was an unusual request. He moved towards the field regardless. He was unsure this would work ( and so was she. ) But he screamed. He sounded like a man that had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Erin felt herself tense as his screams filled the void. How long — she wondered — had he been holding this inside? How long had he been hiding these emotions from everyone? And just as soon as it started, his screaming stop. The silence was even more jarring than his scream.

He turned her to her and she noted he appeared to be on the verge of breaking. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t know how. “Your turn.” he said. She swallowed hard. She knew she couldn’t say no. It would be cruel to deny him.

So, she moved forward, further into the field, past where Reiner stood until the grass reached up past her ankles. She stared out, for a moment pretending as if he wasn’t there. She closed her eyes, the hot summer wind blowing through her hair. She wanted to scream too. She wanted to let out everything that she had bottled up for the past few weeks. No holding back. But when she tried to speak, when she tried to scream, nothing came out. Instead, words came out. Words she had been keeping tucked away.

“You just... You left me, Reiner!”

It dawned on them both that they never really talked about what happened between them. They never talked about what happened or why he left. She never quite told him about what happened after he drove off. How she cried the whole way home and then cried for several days more. Now here they were, their first date, and it was all falling apart before their very eyes.

Erin could feel every part of herself breaking. Her facade she had put up, the idea that everything would be okay and that she would be okay. The one she hid behind when he was around out of fear. She was always afraid that if he saw her, broken down and afraid, that he would leave. Her strength would not carry her forever. And this — whatever they were — needed one of them to remain strong. He made it so difficult for her to function these days. She wasn't quite herself. She had been holding back for so long.

It was only a matter of time before it all came pouring out.

“You can't keep doin’ this to me!” Her voice suddenly cracked, but she never bothered facing him. She couldn't bare to. It was just her and the stars, the endless void that contained her cries for help. The stars never judged her or answered back. The stars wouldn't run away like she knew he would after this. “You can't just keep hurtin' me and thinkin' you can come back every time. You're not allowed to be the only one that leaves the situation unscathed! I've always been there for you or at least I’ve tried to be there for you. Well, now it's my turn, Reiner. It's my turn to freak out and panic and you're goin' to stay right here and listen to what I have to say!”

Somehow, Erin found the strength to turn to him. To see his shocked expression and face him like he couldn’t face her. She had been crying over him for so long that she didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore. She was just angry and hurt. The wound he had left her with wasn’t just raw, it was open. He needed to know what he did to her, what he continuously did to her. It wasn’t okay like she said it was. It was never okay to begin with.

“You're not gonna hurt me anymore. Because you-- You're goin' to try. We're both gonin' to try. No more leavin', no more ignorin' what we have. We're goin' to figure this out and you know what? When we get through this we're goin' to be better people for each other. But... I can't... I can't keep chasin' you, Reiner. I can't be the only one that cares. You can’t keep leavin’ me heartbroken and afraid I’ve lost you forever. I need you to want me just as much as I want you. You need to be better. Otherwise, I don't…”

Sigh.

Erin ran her fingers through her hair, still staring at him. He just stood there, shocked, unmoving, not speaking. It was as if he was unable to think in that moment and she knew this look. The same look he gave her the day he left her at the airport. She shook her head, a quiet and bitter laugh escaping her lips.

“The keys are in the car if you want to leave.” Defeated. She was defeated at last. She turned back to the field and sat down before laying down completely, now staring at the stars. It was always so much easier before she admitted to her feelings. It was easier to hide it. To ignore it. She had to ask herself it was worth it. Were her feelings really worth losing him over?

The sound of him moving closer surprised her, but she didn’t dare move to look at him. Her green eyes remained focused on the sky. However, it wasn’t until he laid next to her, so close, that she finally looked over at him. He didn’t look angry, he didn’t look upset, but that worried her more than the former ideas. She looked backup at the sky, now frowning. Why was he here still?

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“You're mad at me.”

“Erin.”

“Just say you're mad at me you don't owe me anythin’—”

“Aileen.”

She froze, forcing herself to look over at him once more. He was now sporting an amused grin and Erin felt her heart skip beats. How long had it been since he called her that? She couldn’t remember the last time he used her name. Her original name. Even then, as she looked into his eyes, she could have sworn his blue eyes were glowing. They always seemed to glow when he looked at her. Still, Erin sighed. She didn't get it.

Why was he still here?

“I’m sorry. I… I never knew I hurt you that much.” Well, no, he always figured he did. But hearing it from her, seeing her anger towards him… It was different. It hurt him, but he knew he deserved it. He deserved every second of her anger. The only thing he didn’t deserve was her. “Can I ask you something? Why do you keep coming back if I hurt you? I just don’t get it. I keep hurting you and you keep coming back anyway. How can you trust me when I’ve hurt you so many times?”

Now it was her turn to be stunned into silence. How could she even respond to that? What was there to say? It took her a moment to think of anything, something to say to him. She eventually found the right words, but she feared they weren’t the right words to say.

“It’s because I like you. I don’t... have a rational reason for why I keep comin’ back or why I continue to trust you. I know if it were anyone else in the world, I would have stopped tryin’. But you… I think about all the time we spent together as kids. I think about your smile. I think about how when I’m with you… I feel like my old self.”

Those words. They struck a nerve before she could even finish. And Reiner stared at her as she spoke. All this time, he thought he was the only one that lost himself. He thought it was just him, but he was wrong. Somewhere along the way, Erin lost herself too. And she found herself again in him, just as he did with her.

“You make me feel like I’m not completely alone. You understand what it’s like… I think that’s why I keep comin’ back and--”

“You make me feel like myself too.” he finally interrupted her and he saw her start to smile, “Listen, I don’t know… I don’t know if I want this. I don’t know if I want a relationship. But what I do know is… I don’t want to lose you, Erin.”

It was the most honest either of them had been with each other in a very long time. Erin knew he wasn’t good at this. Neither was she, but seeing him try gave her hope at least. Hope was something she had long since gave up on, not just with Reiner either. However, that feeling in her chest, that warm feeling… That was hope. She knew it was.

She cleared her throat finally, laying on her back once more to look at the stars just as he had. “...You know how I feel about you now.. We don’t need to define what this is yet. We don’t even have to tell anyone. Whatever this is, whatever we are, we can keep it between us. We can...go out again maybe. We can still sleep with each other. ...But Reiner, I can’t give you all the answers. This is somethin’ you need to figure out for yourself… So, take all the time you need. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

There was a sense of relief for the both of them in that moment. No labels, no pressure, they could resume with their usual. Reiner especially felt less tense. It was as if she had washed away most but not all of his fears. It felt peaceful between them at last. A calm after a long battle they had been fighting. It was well deserved and well earned.

His hand clumsily reached for hers and Erin nearly pulled her hand away when she felt the contact. It took her a moment or two before she returned the gesture, holding his hand in hers. It was different from how it was earlier when they held hands. No longer were either of them tense, their palms no longer sweaty. It felt almost normal. It almost felt like they were real.

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Hm?”

Neither of them bothered to look at the other now, their eyes focused on the millions of stars above them. For the first time in a long time, Erin felt as if she could be honest with him. Completely honest without any worry of backlash.

“Reiner... I've lost you too many times to count. I don't want this to be the end of us. Of our friendship I mean. The truth is... I'm so scared of what comes after this. I’m terrified… I just don't want to lose you again.”

There was a small pause of silence, the sound of crickets and near by toads filling the dead air. She held her breath, as if she were silently making a wish as she awaited his response. Suddenly, she felt him squeeze her hand and she could breathe again. She didn't need to look at him to know what that meant. She didn't even need verbal confirmation, yet he still gave it to her with his soft response, “You won't.”

And so, they stayed there in the field until the sun started to come up. They talked about everything under the sun, things that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. They pointed out constellations, laughed about old times. She listened, closely, as he talked about his childhood. She responded by telling him about how special this field was to her. They listened to one another that night. Every time she looked at him, every time he looked at her, it felt like a reunion. Not for Erin and Reiner, but for Aileen and Wencel. They could be normal, just for a moment. They could talk and laugh and just exist in the moment.

Like real people do.