#im scared of some thinfs but i dont want this to be nothing and ive made thifns bad for him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

#im scared of some thinfs but i dont want this to be nothing and ive made thifns bad for him

kaestralblades · 10 days

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Idk I think I just had a romcom protag moment getting off the phone with my boyfriend bc I started saying "I love you" without thinking about it even tho I've never said it to him and then a set of full lyrics came fully formed into my head like I was entered by higher intelligence

What came.into my head:

Do I... Love him, do I love him, do I love him, do I...

Need him, do I need him, do I need him, do I need him?

Do I...

Know just how I feel when I'm reflected in his eyes?

Have I ever been the type for short hellos And long goodbyes?

#musical theatre #romance #romantic #idk im starting to feel things about him i havent felt in a while #im scared of some thinfs but i dont want this to be nothing and ive made thifns bad for him

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pepprs · 6 years

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the weight of what happened @ squirrel hill is kinda crashing into me all of a sudden rn and idk how to handle it

#my campus rabbi texted me aksjng if i wanted tocome ovdr for shabbat this weekend and i cant but like. all of a sudden im fighting back tead #tears. i havent celebrated shabbat in years but i think i want to now because of this #idk my jewishness is such a strange thing. i was raised jewish and im jewish by blood bc my mom is (my dad isnt) but our family is also supe #super secular and we dont rlycwlebrate thinfs a lot and i like used to go to hebrww sxhooll and i was bat mitzvahed and i was a madricha for #like 3 yrs and then we stopped going to shul and stuff and its been years. and ive loosely been involved w the jewish club on campus but not #that much bc ive veen too busy but also like... avoidant somehow. like wanting some parts of it but not all of it #and ive only experienced rly mild antisemitism i guess bc i dont rly ‘’look’’ jewish n dont have a jewish last name but thwre have been #moments that i have that have confused and hurt me but like. nothing like this that i can rmemeber. and its all hitting me @ once now and #idk what to do. i still xant cry abt it somehow but just turnibg ovdr the tragedy of what happened and who those ppl were and what they were #doinf ad everytbbing over sn dover in my head. its a lot to think about and im scared and sad and confused #ive been rbing on here abt jt all day and i voted but im just like. exhausted and sad from it its too much #i dont have a strong enough sense of jewish community rn and thats part of the problem i thjnk. that i kinda want that esp after all of this #but i have nothing to cling to rly and no way of getting it and!!!! idk what im even saying im so overwhelmed and sad #purrs #well? i kno what im gonna talk abt in [redacted] tmrrw now lol #jewish tag