#im scared of some thinfs but i dont want this to be nothing and ive made thifns bad for him

[kaestralblades]

Idk I think I just had a romcom protag moment getting off the phone with my boyfriend bc I started saying "I love you" without thinking about it even tho I've never said it to him and then a set of full lyrics came fully formed into my head like I was entered by higher intelligence

What came.into my head:

Do I... Love him, do I love him, do I love him, do I...

Need him, do I need him, do I need him, do I need him?

Do I...

Know just how I feel when I'm reflected in his eyes?

Have I ever been the type for short hellos And long goodbyes?

[cassi-pokeblogging-hub]

by the way if any of you are trying to say something to me as an ask or comment i cannot reply. i cannot see my ask box and i cannot reply to comments. because im shadowbanned on this blog as well as yveltalreal. dont message me either itll tell you it went through but i cant see it.

but let mw make it clear. its not just about the blog itself its about motivation too.

its not motivating when you cant see your inbox and answer asks, one of the most important tools for roleplay in this community.

its not motivating when i only show up as a ghost notification on peoples blog meaning i cant even communicate via reblogs EVEN IF IM THE OP.

its not motivating when i have to potentially wait months for this to be fixed

its not motivating when i have to annoy the shit out of staff just for them to consider fixing my shit.

its not motivating when i have to move to a whole new account and blog just to see my asks and comment and message people and lose all my posts and asks i had saved i was planning to reply to and mutuals and everything.

its not motivating to know that even if its fixed it could just happen again at anytime. it could happen again immediatly.

its not fun or motivating to have any of this happen in the middle of a big arc ive been looking forward to for over half a year.

its not motivating to lose the main thing youve been using to cope and destress after constant stressful situation after stressful situation

its not fun or motivating to lose something youve put months and hours of time into even if TECHNICALLY a temporary loss.

none of this is fun. none of this is motivating. it doesnt matter if theres solutions. it doesnt make me want to keep roleplaying.

i dont want to have to figure out some convoluted plan to keep rpleplaying and hope tumblr takes pity on me in a few months when redux has been planned out extensively until 2026 and we dont have time for that. i dont want to have to pester tumblr every 2 weeks for them to finally take notice. i just wish this didnt happen and the fact it did happen isnt going to change.

nothing is for certain. i said that. but if this isnt fixed soon this will be what happens becauss i just cannot keep roleplaying on tumblr when im constantly pissed off about losing a blog i cared about deeply and scared it will happen again at any moment.

this isnt me kicking my feet and throwing a tantrum because thinfs didnt go my way. this is me explaining that i just dont think id be able to do it anymore fix or no fix and to not get your hopes up. we wait and see. thats what we always just have to do