#im risking and putting my fanfic hcs here sue me

[thelovelymissbigbadwolf]

Stuff that just happens in the Fair household:

Zack getting home to Vanitas "Oh yeah that's the shit" while playing VR Resident Evil Village. Yes it was Lady Dimitrescu. Again. For the fifth time this week.

Zack getting home to Sora sobbing laying down on the couch because was watching Brother Bear again. Yes he has to comfort his son.

Zack getting home to Aerith and Xion bonding over the most gruesome death he's ever seen in all his years as a SOLDIER and giggling and Aerith saying "He's so stupid, he should've grinded first and THEN buried". To this day he worries about it.

Aerith killing a rat and leaving it's head where she found it as a message to the other rats.

One day Zack and Cloud were casually chatting only to hear Vanitas and Ventus yelling "HE'S ALIVE!" In the end, they created a working Animatronic that had VERY advanced AI and tried to attack Zack and Cloud after they scolded Vanitas and Ventus.

Zack getting home late at night to find Aerith, Vanitas, Sora and Xion sacrificing a dead chicken. He partook in it.

He got home and his father was there as well visiting. Vanitas and his grandfather played a prank so bad on Zack he passed out and Aerith had to use her healing magic.

He was forced to model a dress for Ventus' college final exam, reason? "Dad blends in too well, need someone buffer."

He got pissed at Vanitas swearing and made his eyeliner flawlessly. To this day Vanitas haven't found out WHERE he learned to do that. (hint: teenager in the 2000's)

Aerith coming home to find Zack doing the heimlich maneuver on Sora because he swallowed a Pog while chugging down some Cheetos.

Aerith came home to find Vanitas terrified because he accidentally shrunk a shirt from Zack. It fitted Aerith, so she said it was on purpose and he believed.

The one time Cloud and Tifa were taking care of baby Vanitas and the following dialogue happened:

V: I'm sad :(

T: Aww sweetie, mom and dad just left for dinner for a few hours! Soon they'll be back!

V: No, not cause of that!

C: Why then?

V: Daddy was being mean to mommy.

T: What? How so?

V: He called her bad names and said "that's how you like it, huh" and then mommy was screaming!

T: *understood* Oooh. Uh... Look, uh—

C: What else happened? *Texting Kunsel*

V: Then mommy called him a filthy dirty bastard and I got scared.

C: *dies of laughter*

T: *panicking*

The next day:

C: Hey filthy!

K: Hey dirty!

Z: Alright, so I got intimate with my wife and my son happens to hear it, it was a mistake, okay?! I'm being more careful from now on and—

C and K: That's how you like it huh.